Manuel's Visit for Dinner
The next day is quite busy for us on the farm. I help Dad and his two workers harvest our produce to be taken to a middle-man, Mr. Soares. He then takes our produce to a large cooperative in Foz do Iguaçu City, where they sell them to retail businesses. I normally help Mom at home, help her deliver our produce to a store, and sell our produce in town twice a week.
About seventy percent of Grandpa’s land is for the production of grains like soybean, corn, and wheat. The remaining part is divided this way: the green preservation area, the area for cultivating vegetables and fruits, our house, and two more houses, where my uncles live with their families.
By lunch time, the phone rings. It’s Manuel. He says his doctor visit was quite positive and he feels as strong as an ox. He has no serious injuries and no broken bones. He asks about me and tells me he’s dying to see me again. I sigh and feel elated. Then, without thinking, I invite him over for dinner, and he accepts it promptly.
As I tell Mom, some doubts begin to cloud my sunny day. What are we going to serve this special guest? Do we have new china and silverware? I beg Mom for her advice. She smiles and says Manuel is a simple man, just like everybody else. She also smiles and says it’s natural that I should fret over pleasing him. She says we’ll make something delicious and make him feel welcomed to our house.
After much labor, we manage to finish cooking everything. By seven-thirty P.M. Manuel arrives. My heart races and I feel extremely conscious of myself. Mom takes my hand and smiles.
“What a silly child you are, dear!” I smile too and try to relax. Dad and Marcelo greet him. I carry my dish towel with me and greet him. He takes me in his arms and gives me a warm kiss. He smells of cologne and his cheeks are quite warm. I feel at loss as to what to say as he hands me a lovely vase of pink orchid and a box of chocolates. He also brings a wooden crate containing six bottles of wine.
“Manuel, you didn’t have to bring us anything, dear.” He smiles.
“I love bringing gifts, it makes everybody happy, and I feel happy too.” I intimately knew he would break the promise of not showering me with gifts. But I forgive him, for he’s being sincery, the poor thing.
“Manuel, our son Ken has spoken to us last night about your offer to take him to your house. He said you invited him to move in together. I want you to know we’re totally in favor of anything between you and him. I want you to know that you have our blessing.” Dad smiles.
“Mr. and Mrs. Nakamura, I’m so happy that you understand how I feel.” He takes my hand. “I’ve made this invitation in the best of my intentions, I assure you. I feel I have found a treasure before me. I know the most natural thing would be for us to get to know one another better, for him to know me well. At the same time, I feel I need to have his presence, his company to complete my life.” He kisses my hand. “I know myself well and realize I could be making a harsh decision, but at the presence of someone so special, I feel I must make my plea and share all I have to offer with him. I feel I cannot live without his company, smiles, and honest perceptions of the world. I feel he completes my empty life. This is why I’ve acted so selfishly. Mr. and Mrs. Nakamura, I hope you forgive me for having acted so hastily.” Dad turns to Mom, then to Manuel.
“We understand how you feel, Manuel. Well, the answer from us you already have. You can talk to Ken later and find out what he has decided, my friend.” He puts his hand on Manuel’s big shoulder. “Please, come inside and have dinner with us! We have much to celebrate tonight!” We all enter the house.
“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Nakamura. You’re very kind and hospitable.”
We all sit at the table. I serve him and he smiles. He says he’ll starve with such little portions. I blush and serve him larger portions. Then we start dinner. He talks about his routine at the store and his soybean crop. Dad says the price of soybean this year is quite profitable. Manuel then says his land is very productive and is expecting a large crop.
I ask Manuel how he finds time to take care of his business and his farm. He smiles and says he does like Dad does: split his job and delegate tasks to others. But he has to remain on top of things.
Later, Manuel and Dad sit outside in the verandah, where it is cooler. I help mother with the dishes and cleaning up. We make coffee and she tells me to serve Manuel and Dad, and join them. I feel awfully conscious of him and afraid of dropping the tray with so many cups. Thank God everything runs smoothly. Manuel is too distracted, talking to Dad about crops and the land. As I sit, he puts his heavy arm on my shoulder. I turn to him and he smiles. I smile nervously and look down, blushing terribly.
My little brother then decides to go inside and watch TV. After the coffee Mom and Dad decide to watch soap opera and excuse themselves. Manuel and I admire the lovely quiet evening. He takes my hand and kisses it.
“I was so relieved when you called me today, Manuel.” He smiles.
“I couldn’t wait to call you the first thing in the morning. I was like a child about to open a present. I just wanted to do it so badly.” He smiles.
“I’m glad you accepted our invitation for dinner, dear. I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” He frowns and pulls me to himself and gives me a kiss.
“And why wouldn’t I come, my angel? I had to come, for I’m madly in love with you.”
“Well, dear, I’m glad that you came. I never tire looking at you, Manuel.” We both smile.
“You’re so sweet and lovely, my precious!” He strokes my face.
“I’m glad you came so that I can see that you are looking good, Manuel.”
“Of course I am, my precious. After all the care and thought you’ve spent on me. Today I was crazy to see you again. I couldn’t wait for the day to end, so I would come running to be by your side.” He smiles and kisses my hand again.
“What a poetical way to speak, Manuel.”
“You think I am poetical?” He chuckles. “You make me feel this way. Well, changing the subject, during the rest of my day, well, I was at the store working until the closing time. I also spoke to a young man who wishes to work for me. He seems to be a nice person, honest, and quite hardworking too. He said he was willing to start his job right away.”
“That’s good to hear Manuel! I’d hate to see you working like a dog in your store.”
“So, you do worry about me! What a cute angel you are!” I nod and feel at loss of words, afraid of betraying myself and showing him too much affection and love.
“I just don’t want you to work too much, that’s all.” He kisses me.
“This is what I thought. You’re in love, just as much as I am with you.” I look away and turn to the moon.
“Look Manuel! The full moon!” He gets closer to my face and I can feel the warmth of his presence and a warm delightful feeling of secret joy in my heart.
“Why don’t we take a short walk under the moon? We won’t need a flashlight. The light of the moon should be enough to shine our path.” He smiles.
“All right, then. I’ll tell my folks first. I’ll get back to you as soon as I speak with them.” He nods. I go inside and tell Mom and Dad we’re taking a stroll. My little brother wishes to come along, but Mom says it’s too dangerous for he could trip and fall. Manuel is waiting for me by the road. He takes my hand and squeezes it.
“What a delicate hand you have, my angel.” He kisses it. With the other large hand, he rubs the palm. “And yet, you’ve also got calluses, just like me. Do you want to feel my hands, my angel?”
“Can I feel them, dear?”
“Of course, my angel. Don’t be shy.” He chuckles. I feel the rought surface of his palms. I take his fingers and admire how big his hands are. “Everything in you is big, Manuel.” He chuckles.
“I’ve been trying to lose some weight, my angel.” He rubs his belly. “I’m now steady at 115 kilos.”
“But you’re also a big man, Manuel.”
“And how heavy are you, my angel?”
“I think 57 kilos or less.” He embraces me in a warm hug. I feel his cologne and kiss his cheek.
“You’re so delicate and fragile, my precious! I promise I’ll take good care of you, my angel.” We walk slowly on the gravel road. “I love you Ken! Every day I love you more!”
“I love you too, Manuel.” He points to a firefly.
“There are so many fireflies! It’s amazing! It reminds me of my own childhood!” We enjoy the quiet cool evening. Then, we find a spot to sit. It’s a large dead tree branch by the road. We admire the distant valley and hear the frogs by the swamp. “You know, Ken. One of these days we should camp by the waterfall, what do you think?” I turn to him.
“But won’t it be dangerous? What about snakes, spiders, or even, intruders, like the last time?”
“No, I bet those guys won’t dare come back again. Besides, I’ll take my gun along.” He crosses his big arms over his chest. I turn to him in a shock.
“A gun! Manuel, do you have a gun?” My hand flies to my mouth smoothing a gasp. He nods. “But, why? I know you live by yourself, and, well, your house is big and need to be protected. But,” I take his hand and make him look at me, “what if you get shot first? Criminals are used to firing guns. They won’t hesitate in shooting you, dear.” I hug him and kiss his head. “I don’t want to lose you, Manuel.”
“I promise I will be careful, my precious. Besides, the gun is safely secured.”
“But promise me you won’t be firing at other people!” He remains mute and I hold both his large strong hands. “Promise me, Manuel, please!” He smiles.
“Ok, I promise to you, my precious. I won’t fire against other people. Are you happy now?” He smiles. I nod.
“Guns are dangerous. I’d hate to see you kill another person. You’re a nice noble man. Not a violent ruthless criminal. You’re my prince charming,” we kiss each other.
“And you’re my sweet angel. You’re the only one who can rule over my heart. And how can I ever say no to an angel?”
“I’ll ask nothing of you, but this wish, and I mean it, Manuel.” He smiles and kisses me again.
“All right, all right! You always win, my angel!” I smile.
“Back to your camping idea, isn’t that too uncomfortable? I mean, I am used to sleeping in my bed. What if it rains, dear?”
“In this case, we sleep in the truck. I can easily fold the back seat and make room for us to sleep comfortably.”
“We can sure think about it some time in the future, then. But what I really wanted to do with you is to go to the beach, drink coconut water, take photos, and watch the ocean. Wouldn’t that be great?”
“I didn’t know you liked the ocean so much, my precious.”
“Well, I’ve been to the beach only once in my life.”
“What? Only once?” He kisses me. “Geez, you don’t travel much, do you? And when was that?”
“Oh, about five years or so ago. I was about to enter high school. It was a school trip. And now, to think of it, I’d love to go to the beach with you. The endless sea almost made me cry. I looked at it and smiled. God, what a beautiful creation! It was a different world to me. And each day at the beach seemed like a celebration with new discoveries and things. I wonder if it still feels like that for those lucky ones who live near the beach.”
“Wow, you do seem to like the ocean. Tell you what, we can arrange a trip, Ken. Surely it’s going to be our honeymoon trip.” We kiss once more.
“There you go talking about marriage.”
“But don’t you want to get married with me, my precious?”
“I do. But in due time. Then, we can have our first night together.” I say dreamily.
“But my precious, can’t we have something before, I mean, before our wedding?”
“Manuel, my love. I’m still very insecure about these things. I don’t even know how to,” I blush and feel conscious he can see me blushing.
“Of course you wouldn’t, my angel! You’re pure and innocent! How could I not see it! What a brute I am! I hope you forgive me, my angel.” I smile and stroke his face.
“Like I said, dear, I need time. Besides, Manuel, I would die of shame standing in front of you, I mean, without my clothes.” Manuel laughs.
“When we were at the falls, I wish you were naked for me all the time. You got dressed in a flash, my angel!” He protests. “You were so brisk like a frightened deer.”
“Manuel! I couldn’t stand before you totally naked! I’d blush and not know what to do. Besides, I only got naked at the waterfall because I needed to get changed. You were also naked and I didn’t feel so conscious of myself then.” He laughs hard and bends down.
“Don’t you have the same wish and desire, my precious?” I feel his intense gaze on me.
“I do have my intimate wishes, dear. Of course I find you attractive and manly. But there is a gap between my secret wishes and fulfilling them. It would feel wrong to enjoy the pleasures of having a strong man like you naked before me. I always thought I’d keep myself pure for the right man in my life.”
“Don’t you think I’m the right man for you, my angel?” He protests and looks hurt. I kiss his face.
“I didn’t mean that way, Manuel. What I meant to say Manuel was that, I’m still a virgin.”
“I see, my precious. You’ve got so much to assimilate and sort out in your mind and heart. Well, I’ve got an idea, my precious.” He takes my hand and kisses it. “I’ll take you to a good doctor, a friend of mine. He’ll answer to all your questions about, well, gay sex, condoms, STDs, lubricants, sex toys, and the such. And I’ll be there with you, to make you feel comfortable to ask questions, what do you say?”
“You mean, to see a doctor?” He nods. “But aren’t doctors cold and formal and, well, serious professionals?” He chuckles.
“My angel, doctors are supposed to help us understand our bodies, their functions, and treat us whenever we are sick. They’re not supposed to pass judgment or be prejudiced.” I nod.
“Manuel, do you really think a doctor will answer all my questions and doubts?” He smiles.
“Of course, my angel!” I smile and feel comfortable again. I stroke his kind face.
“I’m so relived and thankful to know that you’re so understanding, dear. I was surely so concerned about this topic. I’m sure Mom and Dad would help me, but, we never talk about sex, and much less sex between two men. It’s a taboo in Japanese families.”
“But I ended up falling in love with a young Japanese angel. Of course I’ll do anything in the world to help you.” He takes my hands and kisses them.
“In this case, dear, I want to learn more about it, so I can do it the right way.”
He ends up persuading me to meet Dr. Bezerra, his family doctor, who also happens to be a great friend of Manuel. We agree to have an afternoon appointment in the offfice of Manuel’s house. He wants to have this done as soon as possible. I agree with him without thinking. I just wonder how I am going to tell Mom and Dad about it.
“Manuel, why do you need to rush things so much?” He smiles and kisses my hand countless times.
“Because, Ken, like I told your folks, I need you in my life. You give new meaning to my existence, my angel!” He hugs me. “Also, I’m going to be very honest with you. I must make a clean shirt before you. I’m a very sexual man, I mean, I have my needs as a man. As I see you so close to me, I feel an uncontrollable desire to take you and possess you as lovers do. I feel more like a starving wild beast before an innocent lamb.”
“Manuel, I’m sorry I’m the cause of so much affliction. It’s just that I’m not ready for that yet. I totally agree with you about seeing a doctor and sorting out my doubts I have about gay sex. But, will you be patient and wait? Just wait until we see Dr. Bezerra, until I am certain about my own feelings.” I take his hand and kiss it. He smiles again.
“Like I’ve told you, my angel. There’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for you.” I kiss him.
“One more thing, Manuel. I feel I need to get my parents involved too. For I could never do anything that could cause them disappointment and pain. Besides, I need to hear their advice as well. Then, I’m going to be all yours, my love.” He nods.
“For my sweet angel, I am willing to do anything in the world, even wait!” He takes me in his arms and strokes my hair. “I won’t touch you nor do anything against your will. Nothing until you’re totally confident about your feelings and wishes, my precious.” I enjoy his warm soothing presence. Then, I feel it’s time we returned home. We stand up and walk back slowly.
Dear me! How my life is surely changing! I turn to this lovely man holding my hand, and feel now he is much more relieved and has taken a big load off his chest. He stops by and takes his usual leaks by the road. When we get home, Manuel says he needs to go. We all wish him good night. I walk him to his truck. We hug and kiss.
“I hope you dream of me, my angel.”
“I will, my dear sweet Manuel. And I’ll speak to my parents tonight. Then I’ll give you an answer confirming the doctor’s appointment at your house. It’ll be my pleasure to see him.” He starts the truck and drives off into the night.
Back to the house, I ask to speak to Mom and Dad. My little brother is already in bed. I am very open and disclose to them Manuel’s intention. Mom is surprised and says it’s too early for me to start having sex. Dad on the other hand says I’m not a child anymore and should have the doctor’s appointment. Besides, he says they don’t have all the information needed to help me. Mom finally accepts and tells me to always trust them and be open and honest at all times. I give them a big hug and we all go to bed. Tomorrow I shall give Manuel a call and confirm our doctor’s appointment.
Dear me, now I have become a consenting adult!
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