Nathan

The next few weeks were hard for Nathan, one day his boss called him into the office as he was concerned for his wellbeing. His performance at work at work had gone downhill and it was nearly time for his yearly appraisal. He’d always done so well and was a happy go lucky kind of kid, he’d been withdrawn and quiet. His boss Paul was gay himself so he thought he’d find out what was going on.

Nathe’s phone bleeped it was a message from his boss to go to his office. He rolled his eyes and wondered what he’d done.

He got to his bosses’ door and knocked. “Come in Nathan" the lad gingerly opened the door. The man smiled warmly, “Take a seat, sit down, how are ya?” Nathan spoke quietly, “I’m fine, just a bit tired really”. His boss spoke once again, “Everything OK at home, are you and Carlos OK?” Nathan smiled, “He’s fine, we’re fine, he’s been so nice to me”.   Paul his boss was thoughtful, “Why is he being so nice to you, isn’t he always?”

Nathan stared at the floor and shut his eyes. His boss new he was a sensitive soul, but he could tell something was wrong, the boy started to cry. Paul wanted to get up and put his arm around the lad to comfort him, but it would be inappropriate in a work situation. “Hey Nathan, what’s wrong, do you want to talk about it?”.

By now Nathan was howling, Paul stood up and leant over the lad putting his arm around him, doing exactly what he thought he shouldn’t. Sometimes rules were meant to be broken. “Nathe, what is it, what’s up?”

“I ca, ca, can’t say, but I’m having counselling, at, at, at the moment. I’ve been staying at Carlos’s so I’m not by myself.

“Nathan, are you having thoughts about harming yourself?” The lad just sat their crying. Paul picked up the phone and called the HR nurse who within minutes knocked on the door. She entered the room, and saw this usually extremely happy lad in pieces. Nathan looked up; he’d never cried so much in his life as he had the past few weeks. Every therapy session he sobbed, he’d been getting blinding headaches, and now he’d shown himself up at work.

The nurse spoke. “Nathan, shut your eyes and take deep breaths for me, would you?” The lad tried to compose himself still crying and both the her and Paul looked at each other with concern in their eyes.

Nathan spoke, “I’m sorry, I’ll be ok now”, she spoke again "Nathan, try and keep calm, speak slowly and breathe deeply, have you had some kind some kind of personal trauma?”

That was it, he was inconsolable, he was sobbing his heart out. The nurse turned to Paul, “Whose Nathans contact in case of emergencies?” Paul checked Nathan’s personal fileon his laptop. “It’s been changed to Carlos Garido Garcia, that’s his boyfriend” “Can we ring him to see if he can come and collect Nathan?”

Paul made the call. Carlos had just come out of a meeting where he’d clinched a multimillion pound deal, and tonight he and Nathey would be celebrating. He picked up his mobile from the desk to answer a number he didn’t recognise. “”Hello Carlos speaking” There was a sound at the end of the phone as someone cleared their throat, “Hello, its that Mr Garido Garcia, this is Paul Stone, I’m Nathan’s boss" Carlos spoke in a panic, “Is everything OK, is Nathan hurt?” Carlos called out to his secretary, “Sally, I need to go, it’s an emergency”, he picked up his jacket and walked as fast as he could without running.

“Paul, tell me what’s happened, is Nathe’s ok? “May I call you Carlos?”, “Yes, yes, what’s happened?” “Carlos, I called Nathan into the office for an informal chat and as he’s not been himself recently andhe broke down, he’s inconsolable, can you come and collect him?”

During the cab journey to Nathans work Carlos  explained Nathan had a trauma at a young age and there was a catalyst that bought it to the surface. Carlos didn’t give any details, just that. Paul explained he was very worried, young gay people can turn to self harm or suicide during times like this if they don’t have anyone to talk to. Carlos assured Paul that he was getting regular therapy sessions and was being looked after by himself, as he’d moved in with him for now.

The cab arrived and Paul was at the company entrance to meet Carlos and they went up to the nurses office where she’d taken Nathan to lay down, he was on the bed curled up like a foetus, Carlos rushed over to him, “Nathey, are you OK baby?”. The lad looked up, “ I want to go home"

Paul spoke for the first time, “Nathan, I’d like a word with Carlos before you go if that’s OK?”, Nathan nodded. They went into his office. “Carlos, we as a company don’t need to know what happened to him as a child, but we just need the therapists address to confirm Nathan is a patient. We have a great support network here and I’ve already contacted HR. Nathan can have as much time of as he needs with full sick pay, and when that runs out, his pay goes down to half, but can be topped up with social security. Can you get him out of London, maybe a holiday or something? What I will need though, is a weekly update from you and the therapist. No details, just for our records if that’s OK?”

Carlos was over whelmed, for the second time since he met Nathan he wanted to cry. “Thank you, I’m eternally grateful. I’ll email you the details of the therapist”

During the cab journey home Nathan sat in silence, Carlos’s arm was around the boys shoulder and he’d pulled him close to protect him. The guilt Carlos felt was consuming him, why did he take Nathan to that party? he knew it was too early. If they hadn’t had gone none of this would have happened. However if they hadn’t gone, it would have raised its ugly head at another time, and the consequences could have been far worse.

When they got home, Nathan stood and sobbed in Carlos’s  arms, years of keeping this locked up inside had taken its toll and the flood gates had opened, but now they were jammed open and the waters just needed to subside.

Carlos decided it was time to go on that holiday.