Jiggy Journal of Jacob Johnson

From September 12

“Now you’ll always be a part of me.”

September 13

I came home about nine-thirty last night. My dad was surprised. I texted him that it’s difficult to make out when you can’t open your mouth, . He looked up at me after reading the text with red cheeks and said that it was none of his business.

I know Eric is beginning his job today. I’m excited to hear what he finds out. My parents made it clear that they don’t want me to work until I finish my physical therapy, so I decided to plan out my day with two hours on the TV so I could watch a movie. With a little leeway of course for movies that run longer than that. Two hours for reading with two more in the afternoon if I have no appointments, and two hours in the evening unless I have a date.

My mom was working on dinner in the kitchen while my dad was grilling burgers on the grill when I got a text from Eric saying he was really tired from his first day and wanted to collapse in bed. My mom asked me what was wrong and I showed her his message. She told me to invite him over for dinner so I did.

He arrived a little while later and ate two cheeseburgers. I had broth with vitamin and protein supplements. I’m not sure why, but I started to cry. Everyone knew it wasn’t fair that I didn’t get to eat what they were having, but I guess it just got to me as I saw how much Eric was enjoying what my parents had made. I got up and left. My brother told me later that my father started to get up, but Eric asked if he could talk to me.

He followed me to my room and he just held me until I stopped. “You’ve been up all day, haven’t you.”

I nodded.

“Your body needs rest to get better.”

I looked into his eyes. He kissed me. He moved closer to my ear. “If you rested and up to it on Saturday, we’ll share some broth, and I'll let you make love to me.”

I grabbed my phone. I want to feel you inside of me.

“I want that too.”

My dad knocked at the door. “Is everything OK” he called in. That made me smile.

Eric said, “It’s OK. You can come in if you’re not shocked easily.”

My dad came in to see him holding me. “Geez, guys, get a room.” He laughed.

I texted, we have a room. Close your eyes.

He looked at the message. I think you’re better.

Just tired I wrote back. I’m going to turn in. Want to watch Eric tuck me in?

My dad rolled his eyes. I’m not into gay porn, he said.

“What?” Eric asked.

My dad showed him the phone. I went over and kissed my dad on the cheek.

“I’ll be down in a minute,” said Eric.

I stripped to my underwear and got in bed. Eric came over and kissed me. “If your father weren’t expecting me in a minute, I’d give you a handjob.” He kissed me. “You’ve got great parents.

I reached up and pushed his hair from his eyes. I knew I was falling in love with him. I wanted to tell him; I didn’t want it to be a text message. Maybe I could write it in a note.

September 17

I’ve been sleeping a lot the last couple of days. When Eric told me I need to rest to get better, it made me think about how I’ve been trying to do things because I was bored instead of thinking about my health. I decided to drink my nutritional supplement and go back to bed to read. It was amazing how I’d nod off and sleep for several hours. I was feeling better, too. I was looking forward to tomorrow and spending the day with Eric. He said he had a nice, relaxing day planned.

September 18

I am writing today’s journal in red pen because it is so special. I started writing this to remember all the crazy sex I planned to have in college. I wanted to fuck everyone who’d let me, and get fucked by every cute guy in the world.

But the last time I was with Eric, the way he held me, the way he looked at me, I knew that I wanted him, and only him.

Yesterday afternoon, I helped my mother in the garden and got what she called the last of the beans. We cleaned them, and I helped her can them for the winter. I found it relaxing. I still want to get my computer science degree, but I don’t feel as compelled to go out and conquer the whole world--just my little part of it. The love and support of my family and a man who makes me feel 

safe seemed to be all I truly needed.

I texted Eric, “I just realized that all I need is my family and the love of a good man to keep me happy.”

Then I did the panic thing. He didn’t text back right away. He must not feel the same way. I messed up.

An hour had passed when my phone buzzed. I closed my eyes. He was going to cancel.

He wrote, “The love of a good man makes us family. I’ve fallen for you.”  

I found myself smiling uncontrollably.

The phone buzzed again. “Be ready in fifteen minutes for the best day of your life.”

“Already ready,” I lied. I showered and dressed and was ready in ten minutes.

When my mother answered the door, he greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and some flowers. He didn’t say anything. She handed him a sack with something in it and told me that he wasn’t going to talk today. We would have to write things down if they were really important or just say them with our eyes. I kissed her goodbye. She whispered in my ear, “your dad wants me to remind you not to come home pregnant.” I looked at her, just a little surprised that she would repeat something he said. Her face turned red and she looked down to say, “I probably wouldn’t mind if you did.”

I shook my head, and Eric and I left.

We went to Eric’s trailer and we snuggled on the bed as we watched Rebecca. I had never seen it, and it was one of his favorites. As I watched, I wondered what he might be trying to tell me. Was I his second but truly loved? Or was this just a great story? He did remind me a bit of Laurence Olivier with his strong jaw. After the credits, I rolled over onto him and kissed him. We hadn’t spoken since the text I’d sent about being ready when I wasn’t.

But I was ready now.

His eyes looked deeply into mine, and he lifted me and placed me on my back, he calmly but with definite intent removed my shirt and my shorts. His fingers moved over my growing erection with a delicate touch and he freed me from my underwear with a graceful movement of his hands. I expected him to go down on me, but he pushed my legs back to expose my hole to his face. He kissed each cheek before running his tongue down my taint and across my hole. I closed my eyes and a mild moan escaped from my throat.

Eric knew what he was doing as he began to insert a finger into me. My hole opened eagerly to accept him. A change of temperature told me he had added lubricant to the mix, and I hoped soon to know the pleasures of his penetrations. He got me wet and lubed and then put the condom on. His dick looked longer and thicker in the daylight; I’m not sure why. As he moved into position, I leaned up and kissed him again. He smiled and tilted forward. I helped guide him into me.

I saw his mouth open slightly as he moaned and penetrated more deeply. Although he moved in and out slowly at first, the pace quickened and we hit our stride. Being with him was more pleasurable than it had ever been with anyone else.  

I saw a change in how he looked at me. I nodded my head and tilted my hips. He began to push into me with more force, more depth, more need. His teeth clenched as he pushed his first load into me, then the second, and then the third. He looked at me; his dick was completely inside me. My hands on his ass, pulling, made sure he could not withdraw. I saw tears form in his eyes. I knew I loved him and that he loved me.

November 12

I’ve been so busy these past few weeks that I barely have time to write. I got my mouth unwired but I’m still working on building up my strength, and my talking sounds funny to me. One of my doctors thinks something might have damaged the tissue around my ear. I’m set to begin classes at the community college here in town. Eric will start, too. He’s going to keep working at the dog food place as quality control for the labels. I’m confident in the future; I had to disappoint my mother. Try as he might, Eric has been unable to knock me up. Turns out I’m missing ovaries.

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