Jiggy Journal of Jacob Johnson

From July 4

I opened the door, and it was my brother. He’d broken the rule of knocking when the door was locked. Anyway, Eric and I headed back to the party so he could go in the bathroom and clean up.

I hope I get to help him clean up in person.

July 28

Eric and I have been texting since the fourth of July party. He called the university to request that we share a dorm room, and I got a letter today saying that I would be sharing a room with two twin beds and a standup shower with Eric.

It made me feel good to think that he wanted to room with me. He hinted that he wished he could come to visit, but his parents wanted him to go on vacation with them. I thought about asking mom and dad so I could borrow the car and go see him. But when my brother came home with a dent in the car, I knew to avoid that subject. It was his good luck that he had reported it to the police, and there was a person who recorded the guy driving off. I wouldn’t be that lucky.

August 14

We’re leaving tomorrow for college. It’s only a two-hour trip. I think that I’m more excited about seeing Eric than I am about starting school. That might be a little backwards, but I still think about how he came while we were rubbing our crotches together. Fact is, I thought about it a lot.

August 15

It’s the end of the day; I’m in the room and all alone. I was surprised that I wanted to cry when my dad hugged me goodbye. My mom told me good luck and then she left. I did cry after I bought a burger at Wendy’s and was eating it all alone in my room. I’ve texted Eric a few times, but he hasn’t texted back. I’ve never felt so alone in my life.

August 16

Got up, showered, and then went down for breakfast. I walked around campus to learn the names of places. I saw a few cute guys, but they were with girls. I kept checking my phone. No news from Eric. I’m worried that something’s happened. Tomorrow’s the first orientation meeting.

August 17 (written on August 20)

This has been a horrible day. I went to the orientation meeting alone; still no news from Eric. After lunch, I went back to my room to find two guys in it taking my stuff down. They had emptied the dresser and dumped my clothes into a pile in the middle of the room.

“What the hell are you doing with my stuff.” I was shouting.

“Getting it out of our room,” the tall one said.

“This is my room.”

“It’s ours now,” said the second one. The first guy knocked all the stuff from my shelf. I heard the glass of the picture frame as it shattered. I pulled my phone out and dialed 911, I said my name and where I lived and that I was being vandalized. The tall guy grabbed me from behind, and the other guy tried to get my phone out of my hand. I started screaming bloody murder then. I thought I saw some guys at the door, but then the first guy punched me in the face. I heard my jaw crack. I remember lifting my feet and pushing the guy away. The other guy was still holding me and we started to go backwards. I heard two distinct sounds. One was something hard hitting something hard, and the other was like twigs snapping. The hands holding me let go; I fell forward.

I need an ambulance, I shouted. I’m hurt bad. I was in horrible pain. It seemed like forever for the police to get there. I heard someone say, “Those two guys tried to hurt this guy. I have it on my phone.”

I looked up into the face of a policeman. “I think my head is broken.”

I heard someone else say, “this one’s not breathing.”

August 18 (written on August 20)

I woke up in the hospital with the worst headache I’d ever had. I was seeing two of everything. The nurse thought it was the medicine, but she said she would make a note because it might be something more.

My dad was there. I could tell he’d been crying; he said he would take care of everything for me. He said Randy Walker was coming to talk to me and that someone from the university was coming, too. I was given some soup to eat.

Fuck that.

Soup to drink. My mouth was wired shut. To stabilize my jaw according to the nurse. As long as I didn’t try to move my mouth, the pain decreased and my brain got clearer. I asked for my phone, but the guy who punched me had smashed it.

August 19 (written on August 20)

I had been awake for several hours, had gone to the restroom, and showered before Randy Walker arrived. He asked me to make a list of all the belongings in my room. He asked me several yes/no questions and told me not to say or react to anything when the people from the university arrived. Then he showed me the video of the guy grabbing me and the other guy punching me in the face. I kick the guy who punched me, and the guy holding me hit his head on the shelf above my desk and his back on the corner of the desk. Randy said that the doctors think the contact with the desk paralyzed him. Hitting the shelf caused brain swelling. He said, “Remember, you didn’t cause that. They did by attacking you. We’re waiting for the district attorney to file charges with them for several counts. We are not sure that the DA will file charges against the university for giving them access to your room. I will be filing a lawsuit against the two thugs who attacked you and against the university.” He reminded me to remain as emotionless as possible while he dealt with the man from the university.

The guy from the university was late, and Randy told him that he had only five minutes before he had to go. He made it clear that I was not to be bothered. I think he said, “Any communication with Mr. Johnson needs to come through my office.”

The man from the university said something about getting me another room and accommodating me in any reasonable way.

Sadly, (Randy actually said sadly), Mr. Johnson won’t be able to return to school this semester. It will take him several months to recover from this injury and have his broken teeth replaced. He will not be able to complete his college education according to a standard timeline and begin his post-graduate life as he had planned. Plus there’s the psychological trauma.

“You’ve been traumatized?” the university guy said to me. “What about what you did to the boy who is paralyzed?”

“That’s enough. As you’re leaving, remember that Mr. Johnson did not enter that man’s room and assault him.”

After the guy left, Randy said. Just ignore that. He knows he’s kullpable (sp?).

August 20

I’m going home today. Last night when I was alone I cried and cried. I realized I was going to miss my first year of college. The doctor came and told me that the way my jaw was broken it needed to be wired together for two months. He thinks in six months I can get implants to replace my teeth. Somebody from the district attorney’s office came. I wrote that I couldn’t talk because someone had beaten me. I gave him Randy’s card.

My father brought me a replacement phone. There were text messages from Eric. He was still in Europe. There was a storm, and they were stuck. Bridges out, etc. He thought it’d be at least a week. He apologized and said he’d call me when he was on his way.

I felt better after seeing the messages. I fell asleep on the way home, and my parents took me to my room once we got home. My brother was especially nice to me. I’m tired of drinking broth.

August 27

I’ve been reading. A lot. Eric and his family had to be rescued by a helicopter this morning. They were running out of food and the power to the island stopped. My brother has been going on walks with me when he gets back from school. I filled out an application to go to the community college in the spring.

August 28

Eric sent me a picture of himself and said he would call when he got back to the United States.

September 1

My phone rang, but I was home alone. It was from Eric, but since I could only grunt, I wasn’t sure whether I should answer it, but I did. At least I’d get to hear his voice. I answered with “Mmm mmm.” [Hey there.] Eric said, “Hello?”

“Mmm mmm.” [It’s me.] “Mmm mmm mmm.” [I missed you.]

“I think there’s a bad connection.” He hung up.

I texted back. That was me. I have a broken jaw. Its wired shut. Or is that it’s?

OMG what happened.

Long story, I wrote back.

I don’t know how to tell you; I’m not starting school until the spring. My dad says I’ve missed too much.

I’m at home. Can you come to see me?

I want to; our plane is getting called. I will text you when I know more.

My brother was home when Eric texted me. Elliott phoned him and filled him in on what happened. When he was finished talking, Elliott told me that Eric would text me later that evening. We went on our walk and watched some TV and played video games. I drank my dinner and waited for his text.

September 2

I’m not sure why I write in this thing. It’s going to be a cure for insomnia. This was supposed to be the most exciting time of my life and I’m about to drop dead from boredom. Eric texted last night to tell me his dad wanted him to get a job and that his plans were a cluster. I almost wish my jaw hurt so I could take a pain pill and fall asleep.

September 12

I’m so excited. For two reasons. The best is that Eric told me he has a job at the dog food factory here in town. His father got him a small travel trailer and he’s parking it at the Bow-bow RV park. He wants to take me out for a milkshake tomorrow afternoon.

The other good news is that those thugs plead guilty to aggravated assault because of the video the kids at the door made. They have to make restitution for all my things. Thank goodness that part’s over. We’re still suing the university for negligence for providing them with the key to my room and some other legal term that means they violated the agreement to provide me with safe housing.

Eric picked me up and we went to Dairy Queen. I got a milkshake and we walked around the park. He held my hand and he talked a little but mostly he just held my hand as we walked. He took me back to his little trailer, which turned out not to be so little. We spooned on the bed. He is so much broader and muscular than I had remembered and he could have swallowed me with his arms. He nibbled on my ear and I felt so safe and warm.

I wanted so much to show him how I felt. I pulled him over onto me and between my legs. The weight of him on me was so exciting. He pulled his head back and whispered to me. “I want so much to make love to you, but I promised myself that no matter how attractive you were, no matter how much you turned me on, that I wouldn’t until you’re able to tell me that you want me… with your own voice. I need to hear you say it. Then he kissed me.

He slid farther down and unbuttoned my pants. He unzipped my fly and pulled my clothing down. My dick popped up hard and ready, and he began to suck me. Slowly at first, his lips moving up and down my shaft and his tongue applying pressure and then releasing. The experience was different from the other times. Was it because he cared more about me than the other guys did, or was it because of the feelings I was having for him. His fingers began to manipulate my balls as he continued to move his tongue and lips in a perfectly orchestrated dance. My eyes filled with tears as the overwhelming desire for him built, and then, almost without warning, I pumped my seed into his mouth. He moaned as he sucked with more force and took everything I gave into himself. He moved next to me again.

“Now you’ll always be a part of me.”