Jamie's Story

Dave, Alex, and I were back at our next year of university.  Dave was in his third year of Medical School.  Alex was in his second.  I had recently been accepted to the school and was part way through my first year when my eighteenth birthday arrived.  Dave was my official guardian and had pointed out that as a minor it was illegal for me to have sex before I turned eighteen.  So, I was very much looking forward to this milestone.  To complicate matters, I had seen how Dave and Alex had a fantastic relationship and really and truly loved each other.  I wanted a similar relationship, at least in the reasoning part of my head.  But other parts of my body were aching to experience what sex was like.  By aching, I mean my testicles. 

Dave and Alex had organized another great birthday for me.  Our friends from the residence had helped.  We had a great Birthday Cake.  It made me so happy because my parents had done that very infrequently and not at all recently.  After supper they took me to a bar for my first legal drinks.  I had had alcohol before, with false ID, and also when I was on the cruise with Dave and Alex, and we were in international waters where the rules did not apply the same.  The first time on the cruise I had gotten rather drunk, staggered back to our room, stripped myself naked, and passed out on the bed.  I am not sure if I had a wet dream or had jerked myself while in a semi-conscience state.  Either way I was covered with cum in the morning and had a nasty headache.  My testicles had stopped aching for a few days but then they ached again.

On the night of my birthday, I was not near so drunk.  I was a little tipsy but still in full control.  After the visit to the bar, we went back to our rooms.  I went to Dave and Alex’s room to thank them.  They continued the celebration with the tradition of spanking the birthday boy eighteen times.  One spank for each year.  I was surprised when they said, “on the bare bum or it doesn’t count.”  I had quickly stripped naked but tried not to appear too eager.  But I was eager.  I had heard that this could be fun.  It was fun.  The fun was accentuated by the guys from the residence that had not dispersed as I had thought but instead chimed out the numbers one to eighteen for each of the slaps which Dave got on my bare butt.  We teased each other and I knew my penis was getting hard.  I should tell you that my penis is a little on the huge side.  I was hoping that they would finish off with a finger into my butt hole.  But they didn’t.  Both Dave’s Mom and I had fingered my anus and my prostrate, and I loved it. 

After the spanking, when I stood up, my semihard penis was on full display.  I gathered up my clothes in a ball and headed for my room.  When Alex opened the door, I realized that the residence gang was waiting for me and cheered.  I was covering my penis with the ball of clothes, but my naked, red ass was on full display.  I wiggled my ass for the cheering onlookers.  It was more fun than embarrassing. 

I was thinking that I wanted to masturbate being as I was semihard anyway.  I opened the door to my room and walked in.  There was the next surprise of the evening.  Julian had travelled down from the Lake House to congratulate me on my birthday.  Julian was a good friend.  We had the shared experience of being sodomized by different gangs of gay bashers.  Julian’s experience was made much worse by the fact that his partner, Tristan had died from a ruptured spleen, the result of a gut munch in the same incident.

We had both left those experiences behind and were endeavoring to make a good life.  I was happy but just at that moment I was also embarrassed by being naked and semi erect in front of Julian.  I pulled on some sweatpants and smiled at Julian, welcoming him to my space.

“Nice,” he said. “It does remind me of the first time I met you on the clothes optional beach in Hawaii.  But you have grown up since then.  Your penis is bigger.”  We laughed.  “I am over Tristan, mostly.  It doesn’t dredge up nasty emotions now.  It’s been nearly a year.  I remember it vividly, but I don’t cry so often now.”  Dave had said that the grief and trauma processing would take about a year.  Here towards the end of the second term, it was ten or eleven months since Tristan died.  Julian was moving towards life again in a relatively healthy way.

Next, Julian offered, “I don’t think I am quite ready for another relationship but soon.  I want you to know that I really appreciate all the help and support that you have been to me.  I guess I am wondering if our relationship might go further?”

I responded, “Dave said that I should not take advantage of a person I am helping by having a sexual relationship.”

Julian countered, “But, it is possible that fate has brought us together and it was meant to be.  How would we know unless we let it happen?”

Julian had made a good point.  Maybe we were meant to be together.  I really wanted to have the kind of magical relationship that Dave and Alex have.  From observing them, I knew that a large part of their relationship was communication.  Julian and I were good at communicating but we had never communicated about sex.  “Well,” I said. “Dave and Alex communicate so very well.  I wonder if we can communicate on that level?”

Julian looked slightly puzzled and said, “I think we communicate pretty well.  We have been talking with each other for almost a year.  How can we make that better?”

I offered, “They communicate about having sex and what they like and what seems less fun.  I think that those things are unique to the individual.  We haven’t done that.  I remember that you mentioned that you see yourself as a top.  And I guess you have experience doing that.  But I don’t know what I am.  Actually, I am a virgin, I guess.  The only thing that has been inside me is a finger, either mine or Mom’s.” I didn’t want to mention that I had been sodomized with a small club.

We smiled at each other remembering how Mom seemed to like fingering guys.  Julian offered, “Yes, I had always been a top to Tristan and that is my experience.  But I want to have a new relationship with you and maybe do it differently.  What do you think you might want me to do.  I want you to have control.”  I knew that a lot of tops like to be dominant so, I also knew that Julian was signalling change and readiness for a new relationship. 

“Although I have seen Dave and Alex plan what actions and roles they will take, to be honest,” I said. “I kind of like spontaneity.  Besides, I have no idea what I like.”

We had sat down together beside each other on my bed.  I felt the warmth in Julian’s personality which seemed to very naturally become our first kiss.  For me it was my first passionate kiss ever.  I realized right away that I liked it.  My mind was thinking, ‘yes, finally’ and my body was already reacting by making my penis more sensitive which was adding to my semi hard state. All of me wanted more.  We kissed some more before his tongue slipped between my lips.  He tickled the inside of my lips.  For me this was a thrill and a joy that I had never before experienced.  I whispered, “That feels good so far.” 

I was only wearing my sweatpants so; my chest was ready for Julian to try more spots.  He kissed my neck, which was equally thrilling and then started working on my chest.  He commented, “You have some beautiful red hair coming up on your chest. I wonder if it will be curly?”  I knew the hair was just getting started there.  I didn’t have to shave it for the lifeguard job last summer but, I might have to shave it next summer.  Julian was now licking between my pecs as if to encourage the hair to grow.  It was a lesser thrill than my lips or my neck, yet it was fun.

Then when he started on my nipples, I was ready.  I knew that this would stimulate my penis to harden even more.  I had used my fingers to stimulate here as taught by Mom.  When Julian licked me there it was so much better.  Next, he sucked my nipple. It was really exciting.  I was loving it.  I realized that when I tickled my own nipples my elbows were raised to reveal my arm pits.  That seemed to make my nipples more sensitive, so I raised my arms now.  Julian immediately took the opportunity to tickle me.  That was fun. But when he started kissing me in my arm pits, I realized much more that this was an erogenous zone.  Julian changed to licking me.  That was making me more ecstatic.  It seemed that Julian was arousing new sensitive zones all over my body. When he returned to kissing and sucking a nipple, I was ready for him to do what ever he might want to do.

It was clear to me that he was experienced, and I wasn’t.  I wonder what he might do next.  As he moved to the other nipple, I felt my penis getting bigger inside my sweatpants.  I started to reach to caress it.  Julian stopped sucking on my nipple to say, “May I . . . “ and he touched the crotch of my sweatpants.  He felt around to find just where my growing penis was and stroked it on the outside of my pants.  I was feeling better than I had ever felt before.  I squirmed a little as he caressed and slightly squeezed my penis.

 I wanted to return the feelings and pulled Julian’s head up for a kiss.  All the time he continued caressing my penis.  I was tremendously enjoying this with thrills running through my body.  The thrill made my body squirm again.  I wanted more.

Julian politely asked, “I would love to run my fingers through your beautiful bush of red pubic hair.  May I?” I nodded and he put a hand down inside my sweatpants.  He combed the hairs through his fingers as if to straighten them; a futile exercise considering how curly they are.  Then he was making little circles around bunches of hair and tickling me into a harder and harder erection.

Before proceeding, Julian politely asked, “Are you OK with me going this far?”  I think we knew what we wanted which was not just good sex but a great relationship.  I was very much feeling loved.

I suggested, “Perhaps I should explore your bod for a bit.” I wanted Julian to feel loved too.  He responded by taking off his shirt and laying on his back.  We kissed.  This time I sent my tongue on a mission to find his favorite spots.  He moaned just a little as I licked the inside of his lips.  I wondered if that was one of his favourite spots or perhaps no one had licked him there for a few months.  I enjoyed the sensation that Julian was enjoying my licks.

I was on my hands and knees now straddling him. I moved on to his neck with kisses.  I sucked what seemed like a particularly stimulating spot and paused just to say, “I might make a bruise, you know, a hickey.”

Julian responded, “Yes, please.”  With a giggle, I went right back on the same spot.  With kissing and sucking, I realized that my own lips were now more sensitive and slightly engorged.  I was enjoying this exercise too. I caressed his nipples as I worked on his neck.  The look in his eyes told me he was having great pleasure.  He moved his hands to unfasten his pants.  Sliding them down he exposed his penis and began stroking it.  It was pretty big and hard and getting bigger and harder.

I was slightly embarrassed in my inexperience and admitted, “I don’t quite know what to do next.”

“Not to worry, I’ll show you. Are you Ok getting naked with me?” he asked.  I was eager and quick to stand and get out of my sweatpants.   “Nice,” he said.  My penis was almost as big as I had ever seen it.  Julian also pushed his pants down and right off. “Let’s pick up from where we were.”  He laid back and I climbed on to him on my hands and knees.  My now huge penis was pointing at him.  He slid down the bed so that his mouth was near the head of my penis   He grasped the base of my shaft with one hand so as to lick the head of my penis.  This was better than I had imagined; warm, exciting, and causing me to moan as the thrills ran through my body.  He ran his tongue around the head.  I thought it was an excruciating delight.  Then he pointed his tongue and pushed the point into the entrance of my pee slit.  Whew. That was nice.  I suggested, “If you do that again, you might get . . . “ I thought I might cum right there and then and I ooed several times but did not cum (yet).

Julian’s other hand was playing with my testicles and doing a great job of it.  My testicles were more sensitive now that my penis was erect.  The sensations added to my excitement.  My testicles contracted up against my perinium. His hand moved to tickle my perineum and find my anus.  I had stimulated myself there before, but Julian brought his experience to bear making circles around the entrance with his finger.  It seemed like he was teasing it to open for him.  I was loving each of the circles he was making.  He gently poked at the pink flower’s center. That was when I felt a great rush up the inside of my penis and I delivered my thick white cum into Julian’s mouth.  The rush happened again and again.  I disconnected from my surroundings and was only thinking about the waves of joy inside my penis and Julian licking the head.  How many times did I feel that rush? I don’t know.

I came to, slumped beside Julian with his arm around me.  “You, OK?” he asked.

“I think so or maybe better than OK. “We giggled and he kissed my mouth again.   This time the entrance of his tongue brought a tangy flavor.  I sucked his tongue wanting more.  Then I sent my tongue into his mouth on a mission to find more of the tangy flavor. 

As we got settled and laid in each others’ arms, he said. “So, you like the taste of your own cum?”  It was one of the new experiences of the evening.

I liked it and simply and quietly said “Yes.”  Then I said, “What is fair? Should I work at tasting your cum now?” 

“If you have the energy for it. Sure,” Julian responded. “But I think it takes more to get me to cum.  That happens when I have had sex before.  But I have not had sex for 11 months.  It might be faster than I think.”

“Hey, it’s all experimental to me,” I said. “Just say if I can do it better.  And we’ll forget the buts unless you want me to slap yours.”  He rolled over, propped up by his knees, he stuck up his butt.  I remembered how he had done this for Mom.  I figured he liked it or at least wanted it.  I got in a solid slap on each of his cheeks before I realized that the sound would probably escape my room and I stopped.  I said, “Someone might hear.” Julian put on the disappointed face which he had used on Mom. 

That reminded me and I pushed a finger into his anus.  Julian was clearly getting into that cheeky mood which I had admired so much when he used it on Mom.  He said, “So you’re going to become a doctor.  Do you think you will enjoy the work?”  That memory of Julian teasing Mom caused us both to giggle until I tweaked his prostrate and he stopped giggling to make a sharp intake of breath. 

“I’m sure that some parts of the job will be more enjoyable than others.” I said. I tweaked his love nut again getting the same intake of breath. At the same time, I felt his anus tighten on my fingers.  That was another new thing for me.  Had I done it wrong?  “How does it feel?  Do you feel that you have healed up OK?”

“Feels good to me!” he responded.  So, I added another finger to make two inside him.  He clearly liked that two.  I used my other hand to fondle his testicles.  Julian’s testicles had contracted hard up against his perineum.  I realized from the taut skin of his perineum that he must be hard.  Yes, he was hard, but his penis was tight up against his abs.  Some guys are that way. I guess.  Julian had rolled over and I saw his penis in its full length, width, and glory.  I know I get huge, but his is a match for mine. 

I licked from his testicles up to his pee slit.  Remembering what he had just done for me, I lifted his penis with one hand and ran my tongue around the head.  Then I plunged it into my mouth.  I closed my lips around his shaft, and keeping my teeth back, I slid my lips down then up his shaft just behind the head.  My engorged lips were now quite sensitive on the inside where they were sliding on the shaft of his penis.  I had thought that oral sex was for  the joy of the person in my mouth, but I was enjoying the sensation on my lips too. I was eliciting a few moans from Julian.  I wondered if moans were normal for Julian or had he just been inactive too long.  I was happy to hear Julian having such thrills and joy so, I sucked up and down his penis shaft several more times, speeding up slightly.

I tried to put my tongue into his pee slit.  But it seemed like my tongue was too big.  I wiggled the tip of my tongue around a bit which got a little moan out of Julian.  I wondered if I had hurt him.  I had his shaft in my hand and took my mouth off of the head of his penis to ask, “Did I hurt you?”  Julian was in no state to answer. I felt his penis pulse dramatically in my hand.  The white cum spurted hard and fast.  It would have shot at least two feet but instead it was stopped by my face.  I quickly put my mouth around his penis and was rewarded with another pulse in my hand followed by a juicy load in my mouth.  Yum.  Tangy. Tasty.  I had started something, and Julian kept on shooting into my mouth.  I think I got two more tasty treats.

When Julian had stopped unloading, in my desire to want him to feel loved, I licked and licked until he was clean from anus to pee slit.  He said, “Thanks.  You are so meticulous.  I love that.  I love you.”  I was thinking, ‘Maybe this is what love is like.’  It definitely feels good; warm, caring, and safe.

We were both exhausted.  In a short discussion we decided that we would try to remember the best parts for next time. I was excited that there was to be a next time.  For tonight, we were happy in each others’ arms to cuddle and sleep. 

Julian left early the next morning before the guys started to rise.  I don’t think anyone noticed him. 

*    *             *             *             *             *

The sexual part of our relationship was continued on weekends when we visited the Lake House.  But we were also frustrated.   We had not told Dave and Alex yet and they had always joined in the weekend trips to the Lake House.  I wondered if they would be OK with our developing relationship as it was just less than a year since Julian lost Tristan and been sexually assaulted.  I felt that he was mostly over it.  We had discussed it on several of our walks around the lake and Julian said himself that although he had wonderful memories of the time with Tristan, He did not feel like crying any more when he thought of it.  And he no longer felt like he might betray Tristan by having a new relationship.  He said that he felt that Tristan would want him to be happy.

Our sexual frustration came about as the result of being in separate rooms at the house. We tried sneaking into each others’ rooms at night, but we did not feel free to do anything that might be heard down the hall by Dave or Alex.  We were limited to some 69 type sessions.

It was a cool spring which meant that we could not sneak off for a night on the beach or on the island.  That is until the forecast finally included a warm night.  How could we make an excuse to spend a night on the island together?  It turned out that we didn’t need an excuse.  Dave and Alex took the opportunity to pack up their sleeping bags and head off early just as it was beginning to get dark.  Dave had only whispered to me, “Don’t steel our clothes, please.”  We had done that on two previous occasions, leaving Dave and Alex to walk around the lake naked after their night of bliss.

That left Julian and I to our own devices.  Of course, we would steal their clothes.  But they had stashed their clothes in a different spot.  Still, we found them and made off with them, giggling the whole way.  We were almost all the way back to the house, following around the lake on the beach, when Julian tackled me, and the wrestling match began.  That was fun.  The feeling of touching each others’ bodies was something we both needed.  We were both exerting ourselves for a while to the point of breaking a sweat.  Sand had gotten inside our clothes and was becoming uncomfortable.  I opened my shirt to discover that sand had caked into my arm pits and onto my chest and anywhere where I had developed some sweat.  I think we felt a little silly as we walked up the path to the house.  We deposited Dave’s and Alex’s clothes on the porch.

By the porch light, we could see just how much sand we had managed to get stuck to ourselves.  I took off my shirt and began trying to brush of the sand before going into the house.  Julian was doing the same.  I pushed my hand down into the front of my pants to discover that sand had gotten in there too.  When I pulled out my hand, we looked at each other and laughed.  It was then that Julian suggested an idea.  We could hang our clothes on the porch railing to dry and let the sand dry and fall off.  And we could shower with the hose for watering the lawn.  That was exactly what we did.

We had experienced each other naked on several occasions so we wasted no time in getting naked.  We tried to brush off what sand that we could. The surprise came in the temperature of the water in the hose.  It was cold.  None the less, we held the hose for each other until we were convinced that all the sand was gone.  We were both cold almost to the point of shivering and both our penises were as tiny as I had ever seen them. 

We ran inside to get warm and ran up the stairs to the bedroom level.  We knew what we wanted to do.  I said, “Your room or mine?”  Mine was closer.  We toweled each other dry and hopped into bed.  We hugged up close and the body heat felt good.  Next, we started kissing.  It was a good idea which we shared, and it started to get our blood running warmer.  I touched Julian’s penis.  It was still tiny, as was mine.  Julian said, “We need to warm up those too.”  I tried to massage his tiny dick, but my hand was still cold.  He had a much better idea and sucked up my penis into his mouth.  I realized what a great idea that was.  I thought it would be great to suck Julian’s limp penis.  It was so limp and flexible but still the sort of velvety it had been the first time I sucked it. 

We soon were laying on our sides with each penis in the other person’s mouth.  I loved the warm feeling on mine and tried my best to return the favor.  I swirled my tongue around his penis for several times before I felt it starting to get thicker.  I felt mine getting thicker and more sensitive too, but I tried to concentrate on pleasuring Julian.  We stopped for air to breathe simultaneously.  Julian asked, “How’re you doing down there?” 

 “You tell me,” I responded.

“Feels good,” said Julian.  And we continued licking, sucking and getting thicker and longer and more sensitive.  Julian seemed to be pulling away.  I was confused.  His penis now slapped hard up against his abs.  I feared that I might hurt him if I pulled it down enough to get in my mouth.  He seemed to be moving further from my mouth. The answer to my confusion came as he spread my legs and licked my perineum from my testicles to my anus.  I made a tiny squeal of delight.  He knew he had found a great spot and licked at my anus.  Round and round went his tongue. 

Ow it was great.  I wanted to lick him too, but he had me so distracted that I couldn’t.  His genitals were out of the range of my mouth anyway. He paused to say, “You like that spot?” I was unable to respond to his question.  He judged from the writhing of my body that he was correct and continued the licking.  I owed and awed.  He seemed to enjoy doing this for me and continued for a while.  I loved every second of it.

Eventually he turned to meet me head-to-head, and we kissed passionately.  I was trying to kiss to say thank you.  “Wow,” I whispered. “That was the best feeling that you have given me yet.  I can hardly imagine anything better.”  But I knew there could be more.  Quietly, I said, ”I have seen Dave and Alex go further. You know, anal sex.” Julian nodded.  I said, “I have never done that.  But I want to give my virginity to you.” 

Yes I had seen Dave and Alex putting their penises in each other’s anuses.  They seemed to really get off on doing that.  And I had watched and jerked myself until I had cum one night on the island when they had not yet realized that I was watching.  The thought of that memory was making me even harder.

Julian responded, “Are you sure you want to do that?”

I would have trusted Dave or Alex to take my virginity because I trusted them not to hurt me. But they were so entirely committed to each other that I thought they would not do it.  I was still learning trust with Julian.  I thought I was ready to have him penetrate me, or was I?  Would he hurt me?  This apprehension was balanced off by my desire to be penetrated. 

I said, “Yes. I want to experience what it feels like. I have heard that it hurts the first time.”

“It might,” he said. “I think it depends.”

“What does it depend on?” I inquired. 

Julian responded, “Several things, I think. Like how much you are prepared.  How relaxed you get.  How much you have been fingered.  And having a good lube.  Also, I need to be gentle.  That will be a challenge for me, but I promise to try to be gentle.  You must tell me if I push too much or too fast.”

“OK. I want to try,” I said. “What is the best position for me to be in?”

Julian suggested, “On your back, I think.  If I look in your face, I can see if you are OK at each point in this.”  I had seen Dave enter Alex this way and thought it a good idea.  I laid on my back and placing my hands behind my knees, I pulled then towards my ears.  My now huge penis was there right in front of my face, and I felt totally exposed.  I was. 

I think I had come to trust Julian.  We had communicated about our sexual explorations. I thought that even if he tickles me until I can’t talk, he would read my face to know that I needed him to slow or stop.  I felt his warm hand slip along the crevasse between my now parted butt cheeks.  That felt good and he saw me smile so he followed his hand with his tongue and that felt even better.  He worked and worked, around and around, with occasionally poking of his tongue into the entrance to my anus. Was it my imagination or was the ring of muscle starting to relax.  Yes, it did, and that became evident as he slipped in a finger.  It felt better than my finger or Mom’s finger, perhaps because of all the saliva he had put in around the entrance.  Or perhaps it was because of the love and care which I was perceiving in our relationship.

He looked in my face to say, “OK?” I nodded.  He put in another finger.  That felt OK two. Actually, it felt pretty great until he wiggled them in opposite directions.  I breathed in. It was OK. I breathed out and let my body relax. I think Julian read that in my face or maybe he felt my muscle relax around his fingers and added a third.  He wiggled a bit. I think I relaxed more.  Then he put in one index finger from each hand and pulled apart.  It was a new sensation but not a difficult one.  I felt a little cool air enter me between his fingers as I breathed.

He said, “That’s it, keep breathing.”  He spat more saliva between his fingers and massaged it around inside me.  Then he asked, “Ready?” I think I nodded or maybe he read my face.  He pressed the mushroom head of his penis at my anus.  It seemed big and I put a hand in his pubic hair.  I wanted to slow him but not make him stop.  He knew and pressed only gently.  It felt like there was a piece of sandpaper over the end of his penis.  It hurt.  But I didn’t want him to stop, just take it easy. I felt my muscle relax and his head pop in.  The sandpaper disappeared.

I made a slight, “Ouch” and he stopped and held still for a moment.  Then I motioned for him to continue.  He gently pushed in. I stopped him again.  After a breath, I nodded, and he continued.  Then I waved him off.  He pulled out.

He spit into me, and he spit again on his penis.  “Again?” he questioned.  I nodded.

He entered me again.  Some how it felt better but the most sensation was coming from around the entrance even though I knew he was deeper now.  He pushed in gentle small waves which, some day, would become thrusts. All this was exciting me massively.  My penis was as huge as I had ever seen it.  The skin was taut, and my testicles were tight up against the spot where my perineum becomes the shaft of my penis.  Julian continued to push gently but firmly.  Then the bulbus head of his penis touched my prostrate and I absolutely lost it.  I felt the cum rise up inside my penis and spew onto my tummy again and again.  I didn’t see Julian’s face anymore.  All I saw was my cum flooding onto me and I felt the dual sensations of cum surging up inside my penis and Julian’s penis gently caressing my prostate.  I wanted these sensations to go on.  I don’t know how long they did or how many times my cum surged, or whether Julian bred me with his cum.  What would it feel like if he did? But I was more delighted than I had ever been before. 

I eventually regained my sense of the world around me. Julian lay beside me, caressed my chest and wanted to know if I was OK.  Yes, I was more than OK, and I told him so.  He said, “Shall I clean you up? You can’t lick that puddle off of your abs so, may I?”  He didn’t need to hear my response.  He licked and sucked and kissed until I was cleaned, and he kissed me with a taste of my cum.  We enjoyed it together saying in unison, “Yum.”

When he eventually pulled away from kissing, he kept sucking my lip so that it made a sound as he let go.  “Did you hear a pop?” he asked.  I was puzzled.  He continued, “Perhaps that was the sound of your cherry popping.”  We giggled.

We were exhausted. But Julian had another thing to say.  “Did it hurt?” he asked. 

I responded, “It was uncomfortable as you first entered me.  I guess nothing that big had been in there before.  So, I guess, a little pain.  But it was all worth it.  Thanks for being so gentle.  I’m glad it was with you.  Thanks.”

Then he said, “I want to share a secret with you.  I am an anal virgin too.  You see, I was always a top before.  I want to give my virginity to you.” I was surprised. Julian continued, “I want our relationship to be equal.  You know, not me always being top.”

We agreed and hugged each other.  We were too tired now, but we agreed that next time we would.

 We slept happily in each others’ embrace.  I was beginning to think that we were meant to be together.

*             *             *             *             *             *             *

I woke with the light of day but not the sun.  It had clouded over and was raining.  I felt like one of those lazy weekend days when I wanted to just stay in bed.  And my lover was snoozing next to me.  Life is good.

I got up to pee then I snuggled up beside Julian’s naked body.  I wanted to feel his warmth next to me.  I cuddled up to his back and put my free arm around him.  I was relishing the smooth skin of his chest and abs.  I felt for his penis under the covers.  It was limp again, so I began massaging it.  He began to wake.

Julian was not entirely awake and murmured, “I guess I don’t need an alarm clock anymore.”  I gave his penis a special little squeeze.  I smiled and pulled the covers over my head.  I pulled back just enough for Julian to roll onto his back.  He spread his knees.  I took that as an invitation and sucked up his limp penis into my mouth.  I knew from last night what was needed, and I set about to get him hard.  “Please, just a minute.  I need to pee.”  He slipped out of bed, and I heard him pee.  But I remained hidden under the covers.

He was soon back and returned to the very position which he had left.  I returned his penis to my mouth.  He mused, “I think your bed is more comfortable than mine.  It has this extra.” He was teasing me.  I poked my head out just above his chest.  “That extra is you.”  We both giggled.  I returned to my mission to get him hard.  Then he said, “Can I give you my virginity now?”

I was a little surprised.  I was not sure that he had been serious last night when he said he wanted to give me his virginity.  “I would be honored if you want me to,” I said.  “What position do you want to be in?”

Then I got the entire story which I had been suspicious about from the first time he divulged his past when he told us about the gay bashers in Hawaii.  Julian said, “I suppose that technically I am not really a virgin.  But I like to believe that being raped doesn’t count.  Tristan was always a bottom so; he never entered my anus.  But the gay basher who had raped Tristan by penetrating his ass, also raped me the same way.  After punching me in the face until I was dizzy, he pushed me naked and face down in the dirt and entered me from behind.  I wanted to share all that so that you would know.  And you also know why I don’t want to be entered from behind.  I would like you to enter me the way I entered you; me on my back and looking into your face.”

I realized that this had been a big share for Julian.  I said, “Thanks for sharing that.  I think it helps me to understand our relationship a little better.  And yes, I want to look in your face when I do this.” With that I realized that I would have to be at least as gentle as he had been with me.  I wanted this to be an act of love, not just sex.

I had moved up beside him when he told his story.  We kissed.  He kicked off the covers and pulled his knees up towards his head.  I started by running my hand along the crevasse between his butt cheeks.  I pattered my fingers along, really tickling his perineum from anus to testicles.  As I tickled, I moved around to position my self between his feet and looked in his face.  I thought that I read some apprehension but also, he smiled towards me.  The look in his eye said go ahead.  I licked his perineum and sucked his testicles one at a time.  I hoped this might be a gentle prelude to what would follow.  He was excited sexually, and the apprehension was lessening in his face. 

I licked his anus and checked his face.  I was now seeing go ahead.  I licked more seriously making circles around the anus which I hoped soon to enter.  I saw that he was enjoying my licking talents, so I pushed my tongue into his manhole.  He moaned a bit, but he was happy.  I wiggled my tongue around again and again.  I was hoping to get lots of saliva inside.  I think I did because his joy continued when I put in a finger.  The finger went deeper than my tongue and I could feel that indeed I had got saliva in, and I was now moving it around. 

All this had gotten my penis hard even though I had not jerked it.  I raised up on my knees and asked, “Ready?”

“I think so,” was Julian’s reply.

I spit in his butt crack and rubbed the head of my penis up and down before starting to press at his anus.  I was excited at the prospect of my first anal penetration, but I wanted to keep control so that Julian would not feel forced.  I was now pushing and looking in Julian’s face at the same time. He had been looking back into my face but then appeared to be concentrating on his anus.  It was tight.  I pushed and then pulled back hoping it might relax him.  He did relax a bit but not enough to make an easy entry.  I pushed more.  He seemed OK.  I pushed and let off the pushing several more times before he opened, and the head of my penis popped in.  Julian was not lost in the moment. Instead, he smiled at me and seemed pleased.  So, I was pleased too.  I gently pushed in more and stopped, then more again.  My body wanted to thrust vigorously, but I struggled to keep myself under control.  I was now over halfway into Julian.  He seemed OK with it, so I did allow myself some thrusting in and out.  I loved the feeling of the warm, soft lining of his love canal.  It was stimulating the head of my penis and the shaft at least as far as I was in.  I felt urges to push it all in but resisted the desire. 

Julian was Ok with what was happening. I was pleased but also there were thrills running from my penis to the rest of my body.  I said, “I’m going to cum! I’m going to cum!” 

Julian responded, “Don’t pull out. Breed me!”  I did.  My cum gushed into him again and again and again.  My mental focus narrowed to the beautiful warm lubricated feeling which I had delivered and was now working around my penis. 

I realized that I had broken eye contact with Julian and re-established it immediately.  Yes, he was happy.  I was ecstatic.  I thrust some more and found it easy to continue on the inward journey until my red pubic hair were tickling the entrance to Julian’s anus.  He liked that too.  I tried to control the vigor of my thrusting for Julian’s sake but the reality of my continuing ejaculations was less controllable.

That was when Dave and Alex walked in through the bedroom door which we had left open in our rush to get in bed and get warm.  What was I supposed to do now?  There was Dave and Alex; soaking wet from the rain, naked, and cold with small, limp penises.  My head was saying pull out and I did, but my body wanted more and continued firing cum first on Julian’s butt crack, then one more shot on the sheets. My penis was huge; even larger than I had ever seen it before when I pulled out of Julian

Simultaneously, both Dave and Alex dropped their jaws.  I had never seen them speechless before.  I offered, “I’m sorry.”  I had not wanted to offend them. I had wanted to tell them of our relationship at the right time and in the right way. It was too late for that now.  I said again, “I’m sorry.” I was sincere and I think they perceived that.  “Can we discuss this in a few minutes? I want to get cleaned up and dressed so we can have a serious discussion. OK?”

Dave and Alex turned and walked out, closing the door behind them.  I looked at Julian and my cum leaking from his anus.  I wondered if I should re-enter him. Part of me wanted to.  Julian said, “Are we in trouble?”

I responded, “We have a lot of explaining to do.”  We got out of bed. I headed for the shower and Julian headed for his bedroom and the shower there.  Soon we were clean and shiny and dressed.  I guess Dave and Alex had done similar as they were warm and dressed and ready for us as we descended into the living room.

Julian and I sat rather sheepishly but together.  Dave did not look as upset as before and started the conversation with, “You wanted to discuss.  So go ahead.”

I started, “I really understand that you are upset. But I want you to know that I am not just ignoring all the advice that you have given to me.  I take it very seriously.  I know you said not to take advantage of Julian by having sex with him.  And I didn’t for almost a year.  I remember that you said that it would take about a year for Julian’s trauma and grief to subside.  We both took you seriously and stayed away from the topic for ten, going on eleven months.” I could see that Dave’s frustration was getting less. I continued, ”We have discussed Julian’s progress towards his reduction of grief and trauma.  He and I had become convinced that he was ready to get into a normal relationship.  We had really communicated so well, and we wondered if all the nasty things that had happened had actually brought us together and something good would come out of it all.  That good might be a magical relationship like yours and Alex’s.  That was truly our goal.” I stopped because I wanted to get confirmation that Dave was following and not holding back.

It was Dave’s turn to talk. He paused, looked at Alex, then at me and Julian, and said, “Wow. You really have been paying attention when I talk.  I have to give you points for that.  And you make a good line of reasoning.  So, you’re not getting booted out. But there are a couple of things that should have been different.  First, a good counsellor, like what you seem to be becoming, should be debriefed when you have had a major counselling breakthrough.  I would have done that for you several times.  I guess that is partly my fault as I did not explain that explicitly.  I just did that for you by example at various stages in this process.  I thought you would trust me to fill me in on this sort of a development.”

“I do trust you,” I offered immediately. “I think our relationship developed spontaneously. I mean unplanned.  And it has happened fast.  And yes, I should have confided in you.  I’m sorry. I would really like to have you as a debriefer in the future of this relationship and in any other counselling cases which I might take on in the future.”

Dave seemed placated and said, “I can’t stay angry with you. I love you like a son. Come here.”  We both stood and hugged.  It was sincere on the part of both of us.

I said, “you mentioned there were two things which we should discuss?”

Dave said, “Yes.  You left our clothes out on the porch in the rain, and they are soaked.”  He smiled.  I smiled too.  We hugged again.  Then Dave said, “OK. The debrief starts now.  First, Julian how do you feel about all this?”

Julian responded, “Well I was hesitant for the same reasons when this first developed. But now I feel that it has developed into a real love relationship.  I certainly don’t feel taken advantage of. I think Tristan would want me to be happy in the arms of another and I am. We need more time, but I am wondering if this might become a permanent relationship like you and Alex.”

I chipped in, “And I feel the same.”

“Ok. OK.” was Dave’s response.  “Can I offer one more piece of advice here?” Both Julian and I perked up and looked very attentive.  Dave continued, “When you are early in a love relationship, it is common to fuck each other’s brains out for a while.” We giggled.  We had already experience some of that but were interested in what else Dave would say.  “Please remember to keep on communicating your feelings to each other.  I mean verbally.  Not just  .  .  .  . nonverbally.” All four of us chuckled.