Will woke up on the pull out couch early, close to 7AM. He’d gone to bed just after 2AM, sleeping in his boxers and tee, just after he’d ‘finished’ with Sam and Chase. He did his best to wash his face off in Sam’s tiny attached bathroom with water and the cheapest looking hand soap he'd ever seen, but could still feel stickiness on his cheek from Chase’s cum when he moved his jaw around. The mouth wash he’d used before bed had faded, leaving behind a crazy stench to his breath that he knew could only be from Sam’s cum coating into his teeth overnight.
This was closer to what he’d pictured when he thought of frat guys and the life they had. Wild nights and waking up feeling disgusting with yourself. Despite that guilt though, there wasn’t an ounce of regret. In fact, if it weren’t for him telling himself to feel guilty and to overanalyze what had happened, he probably would be feeling…great.
He looked over to Sam’s bed and saw the impressive, muscular specimen sprawled out on his stomach, sound asleep. His back muscles were bulging and strong; they made it look like he could break a tree in two with his bare hands if he wanted to.
Will tiptoed out of Sam’s room with his jeans in hand, putting them on only after he’d carefully closed the door behind him. Making his way through the frat house, he reconsidered his view of these guys and this life, thinking of what it could be like to be here with them if he took up Sam on his offer.
It was certainly pretty raunchy in a lot of ways, but just because they acted like animals, didn’t mean they were soulless or mean.
Unfortunately, he had something else to deal with first. It was a decision that felt inevitable at this point.
He walked up Maddie’s driveway again and this time entered without knocking, knowing she was expecting him. The front door clicked quietly behind him, the sleepiness from his restless night still lingering in his bones. He found her sitting on the couch, quietly scrolling through her phone, the glow of the screen casting a soft light on her face.
He cleared his throat softly, making her look up at him. Her smile faltered the moment she took in his expression. He looked weighed down, tired, and like he’d been up all night, which could only mean one thing.
“Hey,” she said cautiously.
Will nodded, swallowing. “Maddie, we need to talk.”
Her face sank, the warmth in her expression dimming. She set her phone down, giving him her full attention.
“Okay…how was last night?”
He sighed, stepping further into the room and sitting beside her. “Last night…I stayed at Sam’s.”
“You…you stayed there?” She nodded slowly, registering his words and watching him carefully.
“Not like that,” Will quickly added, “just like…it was late so I stayed on a pull-out couch.”
“Oh okay,” some relief flashed across her eyes.
“Yeah.” Will kept his gaze on her hands, clasped tightly in her lap. “I…” He paused, searching for words that wouldn’t hurt her. “It’s more complicated than I thought though. When we talked about everything a few nights ago, I didn’t expect things to go down like they have.”
Maddie’s eyes narrowed slightly, bracing. “Okay...” she said slowly.
Will inhaled deeply. “I…did oral…with Sam again last night. And also this other guy…Chase.”
Her breath squeezed into a sharp sound, almost like she was in pain. “Wait. Chase? The soccer guy?” Her voice rose with disbelief. “The one who’s fucked…like…half the girls on campus? He…you…” she shook her head, “Will, how do you even know he’s…clean?”
He panicked internally. He hadn’t considered the risk in thoughtlessly sucking raw dicks that had been in countless girls around campus, but he didn’t want her to see that fear in his eyes. This was all so new to him. He’d been monogamous and had only ever done anything with one person…with one girl. Chase seemed cool and Sam was great…but she was right; they probably put their dicks in so many holes, that he couldn’t be sure they were smart about being safe.
He tried to brush those thoughts off and slowly nodded. “Yeah, him. I’m okay, I promise. It really hit me differently though. I thought I was just experimenting, but now...” His voice shook on the edge of vulnerability. “Now I’m not sure what I am anymore.”
Maddie bit her lower lip, eyes fluttering between stunned and deeply thoughtful. “Will, I...I don’t even know what to say.” She swallowed hard, then offered a small, sad smile. “It’s a lot to take in…I’m sorry.”
He looked at her, fighting to keep his own doubts from spilling over into his words. “I feel...really sad. Like I lost something, or maybe I never knew I had something else? But at the same time, it’s like…It’s pretty clear that I like it…”
Her eyes clouded with hurt and understanding at the same time. “I get it…it sucks, but I get it.”
“You and me,” Will cut in softly. “Everything feels different now.”
Maddie bit her lip again, then nodded slowly. “So what happens next? What do you want?”
Will exhaled, running a hand through his hair with a rough motion. “Sam offered me a bid into their frat. It’s automatic. I’m thinking about taking it.”
Her eyes widened in quiet astonishment. “Joining their frat?” She seemed more taken aback by that, than the fact that Will had gotten with guys.
“I know it makes me a hypocrite. Big time.” Will said, his voice gentle but firm. “I’m trying to figure out who I am and this might help.” He reached for Maddie’s hand and held it loosely. “I understand if you’re angry. Or hurt. Or…confused.”
Maddie squeezed his hand. “I’m all of those things. But mostly, I’m sad for us.” She gave a sad smile. “I want you to be honest with yourself, Will. And I’m the one who brought this on us.”
“I’m doing the best I can.” He gave her a small, grateful smile, the first genuine one she’d seen today. “Thank you for being...you. For being there. And I know I flipped on you the other day, but I’m glad you brought it on us. I’m sad, but I never would’ve taken the step of trying this for myself. I know that sucks for us, but I really am grateful for you for it.”
She nodded against his hand. “I’m still here. Even if this means an end for us.”
Will let out a shaky breath and leaned back. “I don’t want to lose you. But I do think it’s for the best that we focus on a friendship for now?”
Maddie looked up, her eyes misty. “Yeah I guess we have to. You need time…”
He nodded. “Yeah. Time…”
They sat in the quiet, two people who knew everything and nothing about each other. After an eternity and a tight hug and tears, Will meandered back towards his dorm room. He pulled out his phone on the way and navigated to Sam’s number in his contacts.
Will: Hey thanks for letting me stay
Sam: Of course
Five minutes went by. Was that all Sam was going to say? Will wondered if he should text again or wait. His phone buzzed again.
Sam: We had fun dude thanks for coming over
Will: Yeah I did too
Sam: When did you leave?
Will: Like 7…you were asleep
Sam: fuck that’s early
Will: yeah well there was a lot on my mind ha
Sam: I get it yeah that’s fair
Will: How’s Chase?
Sam: He’s at some soccer thing idk
Will: Oh ok
Sam: Will we’re fine with this stuff, it’s fine, just guys being guys…don’t be weird and overthink it
Will: okay thanks Sam
He needed to push more and find out where things stood. But he didn’t want to be…’weird’…
Will: You looked really cute this morning asleep when I left btw
2 minutes went by, then five, then ten. Will wondered whether he’d ever make a smart decision again. He cursed himself.
Sam: Thanks
Will’s heart sank - not exactly a lot of encouragement.
Sam: Have you thought about joining?
Well at least the offer wasn’t being pulled.
Will: Yeah I have some questions, but I’m thinking it over
Sam: Come over, let’s talk
Will: Come over when?
Sam: Now
Will: Okay I’m not far so it would only be in like 15 minutes though?
Sam: Okay
With all of this walking between houses and campus dorms, he wondered if he should invest in a bike…
——————————————————————————
Chase stretched his calves in the mid-field at the start of the second half. His team was up two-nil and well on their way to winning the another group stage game of the months-long tournament playing out amongst the best squads in the state.
“Hey man,” Chase greeted a player on the opposing team standing next to him before the whistle would signal the start.
The other guy looked at him confused. “Hey?” It wasn’t normal to have easy banter out on the pitch.
“I’m gonna deke you out here in a bit and score, is that cool?” Chase grinned an innocent, playful smirk that was misaligned with his cocky shit talking.
“What…?” The other guy responded.
“I said…” Chase continued, “I’m going to take a pass here in a bit…dribble it past you…bury a shot in the upper left corner…then head home and fuck your girlfriend…that cool?” Chase gave a shrug at the end. The other guy shook his head. Chase loved this shit…it was too easy.
On cue, three minutes into the half, Chase took a pass on the right side, deked out that same defender, and sailed a rocket of a shot just inside the box into the top left corner over the goalkeeper’s outstretched hands.
“I’ll send you my number to give to her!” Chase yelled back at the same opposing player with a shit-eating grin.
When he got back to the locker room after the game, he downed half a liter of water, before sitting on the bench near his locker and taking his shirt off. Checking his phone, he had a text from Sam.
What if Will joined the frat?
Chase stared at it. He’d had fun with the new guy and hadn’t even minded getting head from a dude…a mouth was a mouth after all.
Having him join the frat? That was fine. Chase didn’t take all the greek life stuff nearly as seriously as many of the other guys. To him, it was just a fun, easy way to have a group of friends and a big house to live in.
He stripped down, taking his shorts and compression shorts off, letting his sweaty balls out into the air. Chase took his time, walking around the locker room, naked, and dabbing up his teammates one by one.
“Chase, can you put your dick away?” One of his teammates laughed, shaking his head.
“It feels good to be free!” Chase smacked his own ass as he walked by. He wondered if any of his teammates were like Will; closeted, confused, or just more open in general to new things.
Just in case any were, he took his time doing a full lap around the room, naked, happy to give them a peek of what he had to offer.
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