Dan and Tommy’s Summer

Well, I hope y’all weren’t holding your breath for this chapter! Sorry for the mega delay. I’ve struggled with direction and inspiration lately. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy this next chapter in Dan and Tommy’s summer. ~Aiden

Sleepless in his bed, Tommy continued to replay the conversation with Dan’s parents, how deflated Dan looked under his father’s heavy disapproval and how he instinctively defended the man he loved against the mountain known as Big Dan. The last of which swelled his heart against the empathy he felt for Dan. He hoped the older Dan would realize that his son’s sexuality changed nothing in the person he was. If anything, in Tommy’s opinion it made him better, a more whole man. 

He felt his nerves firing off in the wake of one conversation before the next one they’d have tonight. In Tommy’s heart, he believed that his parents would take it differently however after Big Dan, his brain shot off warnings that he struggled to shake. 

That mixing of his fears and frustration told Tommy that sleep was not going to come easily. So he was surprised when he opened his eyes to see dust particles floating in ribbons of sunlight streaming through the small gap in his curtains. The sound of dishes clanking downstairs must have aroused him from the slumber he didn’t expect. 

Kicking off his covers, Tommy fished around the floor at the side of his bed for the clothes he had kicked off before crawling under the heavy blue plaid comforter. He dressed himself and made his way down to the kitchen still sleep hazed. “Mornin Ma.” he grumbled. 

“Good morning sweetie.” Tommy’s mom, Dana had stopped whatever she was doing and turned to smile at her son. “Biscuits and gravy will be ready shortly.”

“Awesome!” The promise of breakfast made Tommy realize how hungry he actually was, nearly ravenous. After everything with Dan last night, he hadn’t even thought about eating. “Ma, you and dad still gonna be around tonight?”

He had told them a couple of days back that he wanted to talk with them about something. He told them it wasn’t bad, but he didn’t want to go into any details until there was time to do it right. Looking back, he hoped his parents had enough trust in him that they haven’t spent that time worrying that he was in some kind of trouble. They hadn’t acted like it. 

“Of course hunny.” She said, again flashing her morning smile.

* * * *

“Hey.” An obvious sadness floated through the speaker Egan Dan received Tommy’s call.

“Hey, how’d ya sleep?” Tommy knew that despite Dan’s answer, he wasn’t the only one struggled to find slumber.

“Barely.” Dan told him.

Tommy felt disheartened by two one word responses back to back. He couldn’t imagine what his boyfriend was going through.  Of the two people of the six billion that walked the earth that are supposed to love you unconditionally, Dan had just found out that at least half of those had conditions. Who Dan chose to love was the condition that his father took as the ultimate betrayal.

Tommy’s felt a growing nervousness starting to take him over. Will my dad be so disappointed? If he is, will he be so vocal about it? The voice in Tommy’s head kept getting louder. He made a conscious effort to put that somewhere to worry about later. For now, he decided that Dan needed to be his priority.

“Mom said that they’re still planning on being around this evening. Are you still up for it?” He asked, his voice soft.

“I don’t know.” Dan told him after an excruciating pause. “Dad doesn’t seem to be talking to me today. He was in his chair when I walked through. Tommy, he didn’t even look up!” His breathing was shallow and his voice trembled as Dan opened up causing Tommy’s heart to seize in his chest.

A deafening silence hung heavy between them in Tommy’s delayed response. “Baby, I’m so sorry!” His own voice betraying him, catching in his throat. “It’s not on you.” Trying to will Dan into understand. “And, he’ll come around. Your parents love you. They’re just supposed too.”

“Yeah?” Dan questioned. “Tell them that!”

Tommy wished he could reach through the phone, pull Dan into himself and just hold him, pet his soft dark hair and whisper him his ear that everything will work out. Even though he didn’t fully believe it himself. “Well if you want, we can tell my parents some other time, ya know…” silence again. “Let the dust settle a little bit?”

In the back of his mind, Tommy secretly hoped Dan would postpone this next conversation.  While talking to Dan, his fears multiplied like rabbits in his head. They were hopping around uncontrollably. 

Breaking the silence, “Nah, let’s get it over with. There’s no sense in going through this twice. If it’s bad.” Dan finally answered, his lack of faith in the parental units was on display. 

Tommy agreed. “Hey? Wanna hang out before?” He asked, hoping he would get time to comfort his guy before the next shit show started. 

“Sure.” Dan answered making Tommy smile just a little. “Let me get ready. I’ll text ya in a while.” 

“Awesome!  Hey?” Tommy paused. 

“Yeah?”

“I love you. Remember, we got this. No matter what!” Tommy put as much effort as he could muster to present a confidence in his voice. 

“I love you back.” Dan said, almost in a sigh. Then the phone beeped in Tommy’s ear. 

* * * *

“Meet me at the wall in half hour?” Dan’s text wrote. 

The wall referred to a concrete structure that was fabled to be part of an old pump house. It was some kind of flood protection thing that had long been gone. Only this small “U” shaped structure remained. The wall was also home to decades of spray paint graffiti. Some of which belonged to Tommy and Dan. 

The wall was where they swam and fished, snuck Dan’s dad’s booze and Playboys. The thought of sneaking girlie mags seemed absolutely alien to Tommy now, but a few years ago it seemed like the height of his teenage years. 

Tommy made his way down the tree lined streets, the sound of the waves rolling into shore grew louder as he got closer. He climbed the big man made land dyke that protected the residents and their homes when Lake Erie was raging and turned right. 

Just before the dyke ended he trailed left down towards the lake, through the overgrown cattails until he spotted the weather eroded concrete barrier affectionately dubbed ‘the wall’. Worn by the tireless crashing of Lake Erie’s fury, the corners and edges were worn and flaking off and the once level top was rounded off on the most exposed side. 

As overgrown as the path was and the trees around the wall, it was obvious that no one ever came down to the once popular beach. It’s sad how just a few months can really change the things around you. What was once a place buzzing with life, families picnicking by day or rowdy teens partying by night, was now a dried seaweed covered shoreline. 

Tommy had been there, pitching rocks into the waves for, he really didn’t know how long. Long enough to start to wonder if Dan was really coming when he heard shuffling along the secluded path. Although he knew it was likely Dan, his heart still raced with curiosity and watched on until Dan finally cleared the tall cattails. 

With his head hung low, Dan watched his feet as he closed the distance between them and found his spot next to Tommy. 

“I was starting to worry about you. Is everything ok?” Tommy inquired while reaching around Dan and pulling him in closer. 

Dan’s sadness enveloped Tommy as the two sat silent and motionless for a several minutes. There was a light tremble radiating from the man Tommy loved causing his own heart to ache. ‘I wish there was a way to fix all of this.’ kept circling in Tommy’s head, though he knew that was impossible in this moment. 

Finally breaking his silence, “It’s really just us against the world ain’t it?” Dan nearly whispered, sobbing into Tommy’s neck.

Petting Dan’s hair, Tommy tried to convince him that really wasn’t the case. “We have Sam on our side. And there’s Rowan and Tony when we get back to Ann Arbor.” 

“I don’t think we’re going to Ann Arbor Tommy”. Dan sulked. “My dad won’t speak to me. Do you really think he’s going to help his gay son get a place with his boyfriend?” his voice was heavy with the burden of disapproval. 

“I told you baby, we’ll figure this out together. I know it sucks right now. But we got this!” Tommy,  pulling back so he could look into Dan’s eyes. “Besides, I really think my mom and dad will be on our side.” trying to emote more confidence in that last statement than he honesty felt. 

* * * *

The dinner dishes were mostly empty and scattered around the kitchen table, the aroma of fried chicken still wafted around the room. The four of them, Dan, Tommy, Steve and Dana, Tommy’s mom and dad were talking over the finished dinner, well mostly the parental inn it’s were talking about the weather. The boys were pretending to follow along with the conversation while passing inconspicuous glances between each other. 

“So hunny,” Dana turned and focused on Tommy, her baby, “what did you want to talk about?”

Tommy get himself sink within himself and his vision narrowed. Almost like an out of body experience, Tommy felt and wished he could float away. Feeling his face heat up, he tried to steady his breathing. 

Hidden by the dark wood table, Tommy felt Dan’s knee make contact with his own as an attempt to offer comfort to his boyfriend, but it offered little comfort against the words he was trying to formulate. “Um, I… I ah”

“What is it son?” his dad interrupted, seeing the tempest churning him his boy. “I thought you weren’t in any kind of trouble?” 

Tommy could see the fear in his parent’s eyes while he floundered and stuttered his words. Opening his mouth to speak, his voice betrayed him yet again. It wasn’t until Dan reached up and put his hand on top of Tommy’s that the words started coming out. 

Still jargled, and so fast that his words ran together pauseless, Tommy spewed, “I’m gay I’m in love with Dan I’m so sorry!” As his words stopped, his tears started. 

He closed his eyes, he couldn’t make himself look at the same disappointment across this table as he witnessed last night with Dan’s parents. The silence only seemed to reinforce the fears he had built up in his mind. 

It didn’t happen when he felt Dan’s fingers lace around his own, it didn’t happen when he heard a chair slide back from the table. It wasn’t until he felt arms wrap around his shoulders that afforded him the courage to open his eyes. 

He knew they weren’t Dan’s arms holding him. Dan was still holding his hand… above the table. That could only mean one of his parents. Blinking though his tears, the first thing he saw was his mom still seated in her chair across the table from him with a comforting but sad expression on her face. 

“Dad?” Tommy whispered. 

“Son.” Steve whispered back. “What are you sorry for?” Tommy’s dad didn’t move, he held his embrace motionless around his son. 

Tommy let the question sink in while crying out to his mom through their shared eye contact. He sobbed “I don’t know dad? Being diff… being gay I guess.” 

“Sweetheart?” Dana started slow. Her voice was soft and reassuring. “We don’t care if you’re straight or gay. We care that you’re happy and safe.” Smiling, she turned to look at Dan, “We know you’re safe and” she tipped her head, “Dan’s been part of the family forever. I think he came with the house.”

Dan smiled, a warmth flooded his heart, moving up to his face and overflowed as tears, not from sadness but from happiness. He mouthed the word “Thank you.” because the sound caught in his throat. 

“Have you told your parents yet Dan?” Steve inquired of Dan, finally breaking from hugging his son and standing straight. 

With his smile fading, Dan didn’t speak again, he just nodded an affirmative. “It didn’t go well.” Tommy answered for him. “His mom tried to act ok with it, but his dad… not so much.” Tommy continued, this time squeezing Dan’s fingers between his. 

“I’m sorry son. I’m sure that’s got to be hard.” Steve replied trying to comfort both of the boys. “I’m proud of you both. It couldn’t have been easy trying to navigate all of this. But you guys did it.”

Still looking over towards Dan, “So, how did you two come to figure this out?” Tommy’s mom asked. “That you were bigger than friends?”

The boys took turns recounting the  G rated version of events starting with the camping trip, to their first lunch and Fred’s party all of the way through Dan coming out the previous night. Dana and Steve listened to their stories and asked some questions. But mostly, the parental units listened and supported the two boys. 

As they were closing in on the end of their adventure Dana chimed in, “Dan, you’ve been a part of this family for as long as I remember living here. That doesn’t change tonight.” 

“Or ever!” Tommy’s dad finished Dana’s sentence. 

At the end of their conversation, it was an embarrassing hug fest with long tight squeezes for both boys from both of Tommy’s parents and reassurances that Steve and Dana would be there for both of them if they ever needed anything or just to talk. Neither of the boys could wipe their smiles away. 

Later, in the driveway Tommy was leaned into Dan with Dan leaned against the front fender of his old Buick. They were locked in each other’s arms without the weight of secrecy on their shoulders. 

“That went well.” Tommy breathed out with relief. 

“It did. You’re parents are so much cooler than mine.” For now there was no sadness present in Dan’s words. 

“They’ll come around Dan. You’re amazing and they know it.” Tommy tried to sound convincing. “Give them time.” 

“We’ll see.” Dan said not sounding convinced about Tommy’s optimism. 

After walking Dan to the driver’s door of his car, they hugged again before Dan leaned in and connected his lips to Tommy’s for a small but loving little kiss. 

“I’ll text you when I get home baby.” Dan reassured Tommy.

“You better!” Tommy barked, still smiling. “I love you!”

“I love you back baby!” Dan answered, starting his car and waving as he backed out of his driveway.