California Dreaming

Chapter 12

Carl followed me out of the door of his room, while I was trying to think of what to tell him about Patrick.

Carl looked at me as we got to the street, he said, “look, you don’t have to explain anything to me if you don’t want to.”

I shook my head, “no, I want to answer your question, but I just don’t know what the answer is. Patrick is a great guy, and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for his help. It’s just that since he started his job at the newspaper, he doesn’t seem to care about me or my goals. I know he works hard, and I think he cares about me, I just wish he would be more supportive.”

Carl asked, “do you care about him?”

I nodded, “yes, I do, very much. I am sorry if I led you on today. It’s just that you were giving me the support that I needed.”

Carl smiled at me, “I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to complicate things for you. I would have taken things a little slower if I had known your situation.”

I said, “it’s ok, I could have stopped things too, but I think I really need to have a long talk with Patrick. I’m not sure when I will be able to do that, I probably won’t see him until Sunday since our schedules are opposite each other.”

He said, “you should definitely have that talk, I don’t want to come between you. If after you have your talk, you decide to work things out, I will respect that. If that means we can just be friends, then I will be good with that.”

We had made it to the Brown Derby, I turned to Carl and gave him a hug, “thank you, you will be the first to know how our talk goes.”

He smiled as he turned to go inside, “hey wait, did you say you came out here with two guys?” What happened to the other one?”

I shook my head, “yeah, James, he got a job at a place called Arvid’s.”

Carl’s eyes went wide, “you mean Arvid’s on Western Ave?”

I nodded, “yes, Patrick and I tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn’t listen.”

Carl shook his head, “damn Ivan, that place is bad news, I hope he is alright.”

I said, “me too. Have a good night at work.”

He waved, “yeah, you too, let me know how things go with Patrick.”

I continued my walk to the Roosevelt, I was not only worried about my talk with Patrick, but now I was even more concerned about James. I hope he was alright, and that he remembered that he could come to either me or Patrick if he needed any help.

I arrived at the Roosevelt early enough to go over my schedule with Mr. Mills. I was able to switch the six nights that I needed for the play with one of the guys that worked days. The night was uneventful, and I was walking home at 2 am, as had become my norm. I walked down Western Ave. and past Arvid’s. I couldn’t help but think about James and hope that he was alright. I finished my walk back to my room thinking of James. Just as all the nights before, I walked into the room with Patrick sleeping soundly in our bed. I quietly undressed and gently crawled into bed. I lay awake thinking about all that happened over the last day.

Of course, I was still thrilled about landing my first acting job and my new friendship with Carl, or whatever it was that we just started. My thoughts shifted to Patrick; did he care for me? I think I care for him. Would he be able to support me in my pursuit of an acting career? I really did need to have a long talk with him. I was also worried about James, but should I stop by to see if he was alright? After about an hour, I finally drifted off to sleep.

I felt Patrick get up the next morning, I stayed on my side facing the wall as he got ready for work. We had so much to talk about, but I wanted to wait until we both had the time to talk as long as we needed to. I went back to sleep for a couple of hours. I got up and studied my script until I needed to go to work, stopping to think about Patrick, Carl, and James. I hadn’t even had the chance to tell Patrick about getting the part in the play. I thought about Henry, he would be happy for me. I had written to him about the audition only last week, I knew he might not have even gotten the letter yet. I decided to write to him again, telling him I got the part. It did make me feel a little better.

I walked to work, thankfully it was Friday night, and it would be busy. The weekends were always busy, and the time went by quickly. When I arrived at the Roosevelt, Mr. Mills pulled me aside, he said, “one of the waiters is home sick, do you think you could wait tables tonight instead of bussing?”

I couldn’t control my grin, “oh, yes sir.” I knew if I did a good job, I could get promoted to a full-time waiter. Waiters made a lot more money since they got tips, most of them shared a small portion with the bus boys, but they kept much more than they shared. Just as I hoped, the restaurant was full, and the night went by quickly. Saturday night was a repeat of the night before and I headed home with a nice amount of cash in my pocket. Mr. Mills told me that I did a good job and as soon as a waiter’s job opened up, it was mine. I crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep feeling good about both my jobs, but also dreading the next morning and my talk with Patrick.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed, I got up and dressed, not sure where Patrick was. I decided to walk across the street to get a cup of coffee. Just as I was stepping outside, Patrick was coming to the door with two cups of coffee.

He handed me a cup, “I thought I would let you sleep a little bit longer, it was late when you came in last night.”

I took a sip, “it was the same time I always come home.”

We both seemed to be avoiding starting the conversation we knew we needed to have. We walked back to our room, I sighed as I sat on the edge of the bed.

I said, “I got that part in the play that I auditioned for.”

He looked at me, “that’s good.”

His expression didn’t change, why wasn’t he happy for me? I shook my head, “we start rehearsal tomorrow, we have six shows starting in three weeks, that last show is on Christmas eve.”

He asked, “so what about your job at the Roosevelt?”

I let out an exasperated breath, “damn it Patrick, this has been my dream since I was ten, I wish you could at least act like you are a little bit happy for me. I worked out my schedule out with my boss, and by the way, I am next in line for a waiter’s job, which means more money. I’m sorry if that’s not good enough for you.”

Patrick threw his hands in the air, “well I’m sorry if I don’t get this acting thing, and I’m sorry I have to be the practical one. I finally have a chance at some stability in my life since my parents died, I just don’t want to mess that up.”

I walked to Patrick, “I know the last few years have been tough for you, I understand you wanting a secure future, I want that too. It is starting to seem like we both have different ideas of how to achieve that.”

He said, “you might be right, I just don’t think running around to auditions, spending a few weeks at rehearsal for a few shows, then hoping you get to do it all over again next month is a good plan.”

I chuckled, “you might be right too, but that sure sounds like fun to me. I will never be happy getting up every morning and going to the same place day after day doing the same thing.”

Patrick sighed as he gave me a look of uncertainty, “Ivan, there is something else.”

I sat back down on the bed, “what is it?”

He handed me a folded-up piece of paper. I unfolded it and saw it was a letter from William, I handed it back to him. I asked, “what does William say in his letter?"

Patrick took the letter back, “I wrote him after we moved out here and he has been writing me back. He is going to be stationed in San Diego, starting right after Christmas. He wants me to move down there with him.”

I stared at him in disbelief, I asked, “what do you want to do?”

He took a deep breath, “I think I want to go.”

I stared straight ahead, not saying anything.

Patrick ran his hand through his hair, “Ivan, I really miss William, you know how special he is to me. This is my chance to be happy.”

I asked, “and I don’t make you happy?”

He sighed, “yes you do, but not the same way as William. Ivan be honest, if Henry showed up at the door right now, what would you do?”

I thought for a moment, “you’re right, I would go with him too. God Patrick, I do care about you, and I owe you so much, I mean, I wouldn’t be here without your help. If being with William is what it takes to make you happy, then I am happy for you.”

Patrick moved next to me on the bed, “I owe you just as much, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here either. If I wasn’t here, then I couldn’t go to San Diego to be with William, and I do want you to be happy too.”

I nodded, “so I guess this is where our paths go in different directions.”

He shrugged, “I guess so, I am happy for you getting your part in the play and I do hope you get a lot more acting jobs.”

I gave him a slight smile, “thanks, and I wish you and William the best. Will you come to see me in the play before you leave? I can get you a free ticket.”

He gave me a hug, “sure, I would like that.”

We talked for a while more, then I spent the rest of the day rehearsing my lines, Patrick even helped for a bit. I told him about Carl, well not about us having sex, but that I thought we would be friends. Patrick said that me having someone here to talk to, made him feel better about leaving.

The next day after play practice, I told Carl about my talk with Patrick. His caring blue eyes focused on me as I told him the whole story. As I finished, without even thinking, I just blurted out, “maybe I should just move in with you.”

His eyes widen as I said it, I blushed and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to …”

He smiled, “no, that’s alright, that though did occur to me too.”

I asked, “really? Are you sure?”

He nodded, “yes, I think we have a lot in common, and I would like to get to know you better. We are both starving actors, so as we get better acquainted, we just as well save some money.”

The next three weeks of rehearsals went by quickly and we opened to full house. I was so exhilarated by the audience, their reactions seemed to inspire me, and the entire cast did a fantastic job. We received favorable reviews in all the papers. We got to the final performance on Christmas Eve, and once again we played to a sold-out theatre. After the play, the entire cast went to the lobby to mingle with the play goers. As I was talking to some patrons, I saw Patrick walking toward me out of the corner of my eye. I hadn’t seen him since I moved out and didn’t see him in the audience during the play, I was so happy that he decided to come see the performance. As I turned to him, I saw he wasn’t alone.

He gave me a hug, “you did a great job, Ivan.”

I smiled, “thank you Patrick, I’m glad you liked it.” I looked to the handsome man in the sailor uniform standing next to him.

Patrick said, “Ivan, this is William, William, this is Ivan.”

I shook his hand, “It’s nice to meet you William, I have heard a lot about you.”

He smiled, “yes, it’s nice to meet you too. I really enjoyed your performance.”

I said, “thank you.” Carl walked up next to me, I made the introductions and we chatted for a few minutes.

I asked, “so when are you guys leaving for San Diego?”

Patrick answered, “our train leaves at 10 tomorrow morning.”

I shook William’s hand again and gave Patrick a hug, I said “thanks for coming, and you guys take care of each other.”

Patrick smiled, “thanks Ivan, I’ll be watching for you in the movies.”

 

To be continued…