By the Campfire Light

After the most wonderful exchange of fluids the night before, Jed and I fell asleep in one another’s arms. The storm had reduced in intensity and lulled us to sleep. Jed was the first to awaken, and I stirred to life soon after. I was hungry, and we both realized that we hadn’t planned for food. I joked that our minds were too fixated on just being together.

Our pants were still slightly damp from the rain, but we pulled on our underwear and pants in between kisses. We were about to venture out when we heard a vehicle pull up. I realized that the blanket had a few crusty spots on it, and while we were trying to fold it up without taking it out into the daylight, Jed’s father unzipped the screen and poked his head inside.

“I was afraid of this,” he said.

“We didn’t mean to sleep in,” laughed Jeff.

“I’m talking about the smell of semen.”

I immediately looked down. Jed’s face went blank.

His father continued. “I thought I noticed something between you two last night, but I kept telling myself I was wrong. Boys, don’t fall into the trap.” He looked each of us in the eye. “Shit, you already have.”

“Father, you don’t understand.”

“You think I don’t? Let me tell you something that only your mother, my priest, and I know. Well, of course, Dave. He showed me things that made my eyes roll back in my head. I wanted to be with him and experience those things all the days of my life. I told my priest, and he reminded me of all the things I would give up. He made me confess to your mother, we weren’t married then, but we planned to be.

“I wanted to be with Dave, but I also wanted a family, to live here, to be happy instead of scorned. It hurt your mother to know I was in love with someone else, but I loved her, too. She forgave me, and I don’t regret my decision. I have you and your brothers because of my decision to stay with her.

“You’ll find someone to have a family with. You can be happy. I know. The blowjobs and rolling around were great, but you can’t do this to yourself. Get your t-shirts on and come outside.” He left the tent.

I looked at Jed. I was afraid. “He’s wrong,” I said. Tears formed in my eyes and rolled down my face like boulders in an avalanche. “I’ll never be happy without you.”

“Meet me next Saturday at noon at Lowe’s. I work there until noon.” He kissed me. “It’s not over. It can’t be.”

I put my damp t-shirt on, tied my shoes, and stood outside the tent.

Mr. Fallbrook sat on the tailgate of his truck. “I have no ill feelings for you Ethan. I want you to head on down. Your mother is waiting for you.”

I wanted to turn around and go back into the tent. I wanted to sit down on the ground and cry. I clenched my teeth. I did not want to let him see me shed any tears. I walked past him with determination. I didn’t turn back. I walked faster and faster until I was running. My mother saw me coming, and she waved at me through the open car window. I got into the passenger seat.

“I brought some toast with a little jam. I wasn’t sure whether you’d be hungry.”

“I’m starved,” I replied. “Thank you so much.” I looked out the passenger window as objects moved past. Taking a bite of the toast, I wondered how I would survive until the next Saturday.

The next week was difficult. All I could think about was how great it was to spend the night with Jed. I kept up with my schoolwork, but it took all my effort to stay focused. Thomas kept harassing me about the girls I met at the cookout. When he asked whether I had a chance to ‘dip my wick’ I wanted to blurt out how great it felt to suck a cock, but I didn’t want to cheapen the connection that I had with Jed. I told Thomas that none of the girls seemed interested in me. He rolled his eyes and called me ‘hopeless’.

I hope that hopeless isn’t the word to describe Jed’s and my chances. I can’t believe that his father wants him to find a girl to marry. Not after knowing we spent the night in sexual bliss. But I’d never met anyone who knew he was gay and had found love but chose to get married and have kids. Were there lots of men like that?

As Saturday drew nearer, I was more and more on edge. Several times, I had to bite my tongue and try to breathe deeply not to explode over something silly. On Friday night, Thomas came home from work and announced that we were all going to the lake the next day.

“I’ve got plans.”

“Change them,” he said.

“They’re too important; I can’t change them at the last minute.”

My mother chimed in. “You’ve been stressed this past week. I can tell. You need this.”

“I’ve been stressed about my meeting tomorrow, and if I don’t show, I’ll be even more stressed.”

“What kind of meeting?” demanded Thomas. “More important than family time?”

“It’s a date, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, fuck, Ethan, why didn’t you say so?” asked Thomas.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you embarrassed, boy? You don’t need to be. Do you need some cash?”

“I just want to be left alone, please,” I said as calmly as I could. “I want you and Mom to enjoy yourselves at the lake.”

Thomas took out his wallet and handed me some twenties. “I can get more at the ATM. You take it.”

I took the bills. It was one hundred dollars.

“Just don’t fucking elope, you know. You can fuck girls without marrying them. You know that, right?” He laughed.

I saw my mother roll her eyes. “Take me to dinner, big spender.”

“Let me change my shirt.” He left the room.

My mother turned to me. “It’s a boy, isn’t it.” She had tears in her eyes.

“Yeah, and he’s really special,” I told her.

“Of course he is. I’m happy you found someone.” She kissed my cheek. “I love you, Son.”

“I love you, Mom.” I went to my room and pushed my bed to the window. I opened the blinds, and with the room lights off, I tried to look at the sky. Deep purples and reds reflected off the clouds. It was beautiful, and it made me hopeful about the next day.

My car was actually an old work van that Thomas’ company had retired. My grandfather, a mechanic, replaced the engine with a newer more fuel-efficient one, and I had fixed up the back so I could have overnight skywatching trips. I had a mattress on a platform over drawers I’d made for storage. A cassette port-a-potty that I had never used was also stored under the bed. Thomas had insisted on putting a solar panel on the roof with some batteries so I could run an induction stovetop. I also had a thirty-gallon water tank. The water could be pumped manually. At the time, I thought it was overkill for an overnight trip, but it ended up being a nice addition.

Luck was on my side as I pulled into a shaded parking space at Lowe’s. It was almost noon, so I went in to let Jed know where I was parked. He was at the register, so I didn’t have to search for him. He looked up and saw me. He smiled.

“White van, under the tree,” was all I said.

“Got it. Fifteen minutes. They’re running late.”

I nodded, and he went back to work. I got back in the van and reclined my seat a bit. The air was still cool from the storm, and I nodded off.

The banging on the window startled me awake. I turned to see Jed grinning outside the driver’s side window. I unlocked the door and opened it.

“May I help you?” I asked.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you all week.”

“Me neither. Get in here,” I told him.

He sprinted to the passenger side and got in. He glanced in the back. “Are we going parking?” He chuckled. “Look what I have.” He pulled some condoms from one of his pockets and a bottle of lubricant from the other. “I talked to my oldest brother, Michael, about us, and he bought me these. He told me not to listen to my father but to listen to my heart.” He took a deep breath. “My heart tells me that you’re special.”

“I told my mother that you’re special.”

“I want to be with you, Ethan.”

“I want the same thing.”

“Is that why you brought the bed?” He grinned.

“This is my star-gazing car. I take it everywhere.”

“How convenient.” Jed gave a little giggle.

“Hey. No one has ever slept in that bed except for me.”

“OK. I believe you.”

“I thought we could grab some fast food and go to my house; my mom and step-dad aren’t home. Mom let me know they won’t be back until seven tonight at the earliest.”

“Take me anywhere. Just kiss me when we get there.”

“I’ll kiss every inch of you,” I told him. “Now, buckle up.”

A trip through What-a-Burger satisfied our lunch cravings, but I wondered whether my cravings for Jed would ever be satisfied. I felt like one of those girls who writes a guy’s name over and over and over again in her notebook. As I drove home, I had to fight the urge to just look at him. The five-minute drive from What-a-Burger to my house seemed to take forever. When we got there, I grabbed the drinks, and he grabbed the bag with the cheeseburgers. I led him into the house, and with our hands still full, we kissed.

It was the neverending kiss. I didn’t want to stop, and even though my hands were full and I couldn’t hold him, I continued to kiss him, and he kissed back. He had one free hand, and with it placed on the small of my back, he pulled me close to him.

“My hand’s starting to cramp, and you’re going to drop those. Plus, our fries are going to get cold.”

“I didn’t order fries. I want to keep my waistline sexy for you,” I said.

“No fries?”

“Gotta keep your eye candy in shape.”

He laughed. “Let’s eat so my eye candy has the energy to do the things to me that I want him to do.”

I felt a tingle when he said that. “Kitchen table.” We sat and ate and giggled when we looked at each other. As I finished my cheeseburger, I asked, “So what did you say to your brother?”

“I told him I met someone. I told him who you are and that we spent the night together in the tent.”

“In a rainstorm.”

Jed smiled. “I told him that Father knew, and I didn’t have to tell him.”

“Did you tell him what your dad said to us?”

“Yeah. He told me to go for it. He gave me the condoms and the lubricant. He said to use more than you think you’ll need, and he said we should stretch ourselves with our fingers first so it won’t hurt so much.”

“I’ve put my finger in there a few times. Now I make sure to keep my fingernails short and sanded down.”

Jed looked down at his hands. “I hadn’t thought about that.”

“I bought a box of disposable gloves because sometimes my fingers had shit on them. Not all the time, though, so I wasn’t sure about it, but it still feels good with the glove on.”

“I guess we should do that. Will you do me first?”

I smiled. “I’d do just about anything you asked me, Jed. Except kill someone, or maybe rob a bank.”

He laughed. “What about kidnapping? My French teacher is killing me.”

“I need time to consider felonies. Maybe I can make you forget about her.”

“It’s a him, and he’s an asshole.”

“I’m still going to make you forget about him,” I said.

“You want to start now? Making me forget.”

“Yeah, can I suck you? I want to taste you.”

Jed stood up and walked up to me. He pulled his pants far enough down to allow his dick to escape over the elastic of his shorts. He hardened immediately. I slid him into my mouth as far as I could without gagging. I’d read about something called deepthroating, and I prepared to try it. I did my best to relax my jaw and I concentrated and took a deep breath. I felt the head of his cock slide past and go into my throat. I remained focused and resisted the urge to gag. I pulled back off until my lips circled the head of his erection as I took another deep breath. I pushed myself back onto him without stopping. He popped into my throat again. The urge to gag was bigger this time, but I still resisted.

Repeating the act several times, I found I had to focus less and less on what I was doing, and I could hear Jed’s moans as he entered my throat. On my last plunge forward, Jed grabbed my head and held me against him. I felt the pumping as he came. His ejaculate went straight into my stomach, and as he pulled back, I barely got a taste of it.

He stepped back and sat down. He was breathing heavily.

“I wanted to taste it,” I said.

“I’m sorry; I don’t know what came over me.” His face showed the concern of someone who was worried that I’d be angry.

“It’s OK. It’s exciting that you got that excited,” I told him.

“You’re the best.”

I stood up and moved to his chair. I pulled him up in front of me and grabbed his dick really hard. “Do it again,” I growled, “and I’ll have to keep blowing you until you gain control.” I kissed him.

“I love you, Ethan. Take me to your bedroom.”

I looked deeply into his eyes. He was telling the truth. He did love me. Would I be worthy of him?