Tell me how much I love you
Narrator: Toby
My gaze sweeps across the function hall. There are far more people here than I expected. Their murmuring fills the space. It’s impressive how perfectly Fabian and Mike have organized everything: the long tables piled with food and drink, the glimmering light catching the glassware.
This is my party. A celebration of my freedom. And yet... I feel lost.
Fabian steps up beside me without saying a word. For a moment, we just stand there, looking out over the room together. City folks and Outsiders, mixing like it’s always been that way. Pamela looks cheerful and relaxed, like her time with The Holy Boys has never even happened. Florian’s mom and dad are making polite conversation with a couple of City big shots.
“Weird, isn’t it?” Fabian says.
I glance at him in surprise. “What is?”
“That suddenly, everything turns out all right. You spend years thinking you don’t belong anywhere, and then you’re here. Maybe this was the destination you were always heading towards.”
“You really believe that?”
Fabian smiles. “Yes. And if you’re honest, you know it too.”
Mike comes strolling over and leans on the balcony rail with his elbows.
My thoughts are spinning. How am I supposed to put this into words when I don’t even understand it myself? “It’s just… freedom. Thought I wanted it, but now that it’s here…” I hesitate, then, my voice shaking, “Don’t want to leave.”
Fabian turns his head and narrows his eyes. “What do you mean?”
I try to avoid his gaze. “Nothing. Forget it. I’m just rambling.”
“You’re not going anywhere, kid. What makes you think that? The Peel Bastion is your home, just like it is for Florian, Mike and me. You know that, don’t you?”
I let out a deep sigh. Of course I know. We’ve talked about it plenty of times. And still...
Fabian places a hand on my shoulder, brief but firm. “Don’t you dare leave us. We need you. Not just as a colleague, but as a housemate and friend.”
I don’t understand why his words hit me so hard. Why I still need that reassurance after all these years.
Florian walks up and sees my face. “Everything all right?” he asks, concerned.
“Nothing going on,” Mike replies casually. “Fabian just had to remind Toby where he belongs.”
“Oh?”
Fabian gives Mike a look, then says, “Toby’s place is here. At the Peel Bastion.”
“Right,” says Florian thoughtfully. “So… he was doubting that?”
“I got the impression he might’ve been.”
Florian sighs and takes my hand. “Come on, you.”
He guides me through the crowd towards a small room at the edge of the hall. He closes the door behind us.
“I think it’s time for our exercise. Go on, say it.”
I glance nervously at the door. “We can’t do this now. The hall is full of people!”
“They’ll manage without us for a minute. Come on, say it! You know what I mean. Or would you prefer a spanking?”
“Florian, it was just a moment. It’s already passed. There’s really no need to do the exercise now.”
“When will you finally learn that I decide what’s necessary?”
“But the guests…”
“The longer you hesitate, the longer they’re waiting. Now go on. Tell me how much I love you.”
He won’t let it go until I say it. I give in and start speaking.
“You love me ridiculously much. So much it almost hurts. I mean everything to you. You can’t live without me.”
Florian nods. “That’s absolutely right, love. And?”
“The thought of losing me makes you sick to your stomach. I’m your most precious possession. You’ll keep me with you forever and never let me go. I belong to you, like water belongs to the river.”
Softly, Florian replies, “Exactly right. And why is it that I love you so much?”
“Because you think I’m the most wonderful, loving, warm person you know. Clever, but also vulnerable. You find that endearing. I don’t even realize how nice it is to be around me.”
“Excellent,” says Florian. “And… do you believe that yourself, or are you just saying it because I taught it to you?”
That one catches me off guard. For a moment I hesitate. Then: “I believe that you believe it.”
Florian grins from ear to ear. “That’s a huge improvement compared to the old days.” He tilts his head. “Tell me honestly. Do you like yourself now, even just a little?”
I have to think about that. Florian just waits.
Then I hear myself say, “Most of the time, yeah.”
“That’s another step in the right direction,” he says quietly.
His fingers brush my earlobe before he continues. “We’ve managed to heal your wounds, buddy, but the scars will always be there. I’ll soothe them whenever I can. You’ll see - they’ll start to hurt less over time. And I’ll always be here for you. I’ll keep protecting you for as long as I live.”
The tension drains from my body. Florian isn’t going to dump me. Not now… Never.
Of course not, you knew that, idiot.
He’s told me a hundred times. Still, he never blames me for needing to hear it again. He just says it, every time.
I wrap my arms around my prince and press myself against him. We rub our faces together for a moment, breathing in each other’s scent.
Then he places his hands on my shoulders and smiles. “From now on, you’ll get paid a proper salary every month. Honest money.”
“There’s a first for everything.”
“Also, now that you’re a free man, we can go places.” He reaches into the inner pocket of his jacket. “That opens up possibilities.”
“What sort of possibilities?”
With a flourish, he hands me an envelope. “A present for my no-longer-incarcerated boyfriend.”
Inside are two train tickets and two hotel vouchers for Zürich.
“The train tickets are second class,” Florian says apologetically. “First class is a bit pricey, and the City only pays for business travel.”
He gets a massive kiss from me. “You’re really the best.”
My prince. My anchor. My rescuer.
He looks at me with that warm, generous smile I’m so hopelessly in love with. Then he gestures towards the hall.
“Come on, let’s head back in. Otherwise they’ll start wondering where we’ve gone.”
Hand in hand, we walk back into the room.
****
A gentle breeze brushes my face as I stand watching a group of young construction workers cheerfully packing up their gear. They radiate this raw, infectious energy. It’s late afternoon, their workday is nearly over.
One of them waves at me. Another calls out brightly, “Hey Toby, how’s it going?”
I give them a thumbs-up. Still not used to being popular with such tough-looking guys.
Suddenly, I feel Florian’s arms wrapping around my waist and his lips pressing against my neck. I hadn’t heard him coming, too distracted by the view, but I recognize his hands and mouth instantly.
“Well well, lazybones. Standing around while other people are working?”
The view gets even better as I turn to face him. I wrap my arms around him and shoot back, “I don’t see you doing much either.”
“You know very well my job is to make sure boys like you don’t slack off.”
“Then maybe you should lead by example instead of slacking off yourself.”
He stares at me from close range with those sparkling, commanding blue eyes. His hand begins to gently rub my ass. “I don’t like that tone one bit, kid. You’re getting way too sassy again.”
“Oh dear. Want to talk about it?”
He presses his nose against mine and gives my butt a gentle squeeze. “I want to talk, all right. With your bare ass over my lap.”
“Oh, I see. So I have to lie across your lap again, with my bare boy pride resting on your big manly thighs? Will you grab me with that strong arm of yours, the one that holds me down and protects me at the same time?”
“And with the other hand, I’ll spank your lovely butt mercilessly, from cheek to cheek, until that sweet ass of yours is on fire and you won’t stop thinking about me for the rest of the day.”
Mike walks over to us. “Oi, gentlemen - if you’re quite finished flirting, maybe you could help me load the empty crates and bottles into the van?”
Florian lifts his hands from my backside. “Perfect timing, Mike. I was just giving this boy a lecture about his work ethic.”
Mike shakes his head at me. “Toby overdoing it again? Good thing you’re putting him in his place. But let’s cut him some slack today. He’s probably still basking in the afterglow of that amazing party yesterday.”
Florian lets out a long sigh. “All right, all right. Two against one. Come on then, let’s get to it.” He grabs me by the arm and whispers in my ear, “But that spanking’s still coming. You’ll be sitting at dinner tonight with a freshly roasted bottom.”
My cock stirs in my jeans as we follow Mike to the van.
****
Half an hour later, Florian pushes me into our living room. I point at the punishment paddle hanging on the wall. “Are you going to use that again?”
“I won’t be needing it. My hands will do just fine.”
“Your hands hurt less,” I say, teasing him.
“This isn’t punishment. It’s to remind you who’s in charge around here.”
“Oh yeah? Who would that be, then?”
He grabs me by the front of my shirt and pulls me towards him. “If I need to, I can spank hard with my hand. As you very well know.”
Florian starts undoing the buttons of my jeans. His hand pressing against my crotch only makes me want him more.
Then he takes me by the wrist and leads me to the sofa. My jeans slip down on their own, I don’t lift a finger to stop them. He runs his hand over my briefs, kneads my ass softly, grabs me between the legs. His lips brush my ear as he whispers, “Now take your briefs down. Slowly.”
As he settles onto the sofa, I begin to peel the fabric down - inch by inch revealing what he likes to call my boy pride. Once there’s nothing left to hide, I push the briefs down to my knees in one go. He reaches out and plays briefly with my erection. My breathing grows heavier.
Then he gestures for me to lie across his lap. I stretch myself out over his thighs and he holds me firmly. His strong arm across my lower back still makes me feel safe, even after all these years.
He begins to spank me gently.
“So, Toby… do you remember again?”
“Remember what?”
“Who’s in charge here?”
“Nope. Who is it?”
He starts spanking harder. “Tell me when it comes back to you.”
The slaps keep landing, growing sharper. At the same time, his left hand sneaks underneath and finds its target. He starts teasing my tip.
His hand keeps striking my bare butt. The sensation is painful and comforting at the same time. This is Florian’s way of showing me I still belong to him, that he still takes care of me.
The pain intensifies, and so does my arousal. While he keeps spanking, he toys with my balls.
Then I can’t hold back anymore. “Florian, you’re the one in charge!” I cry out.
“Took you long enough,” he says sternly, and lands a few more firm smacks before switching to soft caresses.
“Please… set me free,” I whisper.
“But you are free. Your custodial sentence is over.”
“Let me come. Please.”
“That desperate?”
“Please. I’m about to explode.”
“Well then, let’s see. On your back.”
I roll over. The hand that just spanked me now wraps around my cock. His thumb presses against the tip. Slowly, he begins to massage me.
Those golden hands. Fingers on my belly, and on my boyhood. Pure, unfiltered ecstasy.
Within seconds I’m spilling over - hot spurts landing generously across my stomach.
A bit shy about how quickly I came again, I glance at Florian. But he just smiles. He’s known me long enough.
As I start to fix my clothes, I notice the bulge in his pants. “Shall I set you free too?”
He strokes my lips in answer. “You know what your owner needs.”
I kneel before him and undo his pants.
****
This is my life now.
Our new district is thriving. And no one thinks it’s going to stop at just one.
More than twenty thousand Outsiders building a future here. That’s double what they originally expected. They say it’s partly thanks to me. That it wouldn’t have been possible without the ideas I proposed. Totally overblown, if you ask me.
Okay, fine. I helped. A little.
I share this life with the man of my dreams. The future is smiling at us, and finally I’m smiling back.
