1st Love

“The way you walk, the way you talk. The way you say my name and smile. The way you move me, the way you soothe me. The way you speak softly through the night. Every morning, you rise and open your eyes. I just wanna be there with you, baby. I just wanna be yours, from this day forth.”-Jesse Powell (You)

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January 2026

Tears dropped from Matthew’s face. Even though he couldn’t remember his past, the story touched his heart. As he sat across from Noah, his heart ached for him. He was also overcome with a sense of guilt.

 “I am so sorry,” he said as he dried his eyes.

 “It was a long time ago. Besides, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Noah said to him as he stared at the table.

 “I can’t do this. I have to go.” Matthew jumped up and ran out of the diner. He was overcome with emotions.

 Noah ran out of the diner behind him. Matthew couldn’t run as fast as he would have liked to. He was up to his knees in the heavy white snow.

 “Mateo, stop,” Noah called out behind him.

 Matthew had no intention of stopping. He wanted to get away. Noah was not going to let him get away. He had lost out on so many years with him.

 Feeling desperate, Noah screamed, “Ten years later, and you’re still a bitch!”

 Matthew stopped running. He turned around and looked at Noah as if he were a crazy person.

 “Did you just call me a bitch?”

 “Damn right, I did. Memory or no memory, you’re still the same old Matthew inside. Always afraid of any truth I make you see.”

 Matthew walked back toward Noah, “You don’t even know me, you dick!”

 Noah yelled, “Correction, you don’t know yourself. I still have my memory!”

 Matthew’s blood surged. He grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at Noah. The snowball hit Noah right in the face. Noah was shocked that he had hit him with the snow.

 For a moment, they stood silently. Then Noah grabbed some snow and hit Matthew. A snowball fight erupted between the two. Matthew started to get the best of Noah. Noah tried to run, and Matthew followed behind him.

They ran down the empty streets laughing. Noah stopped running from him. He ran towards Matthew and hit him with the snow as if it were pie in the face. Matthew picked Noah up, and they fell in the snow. They rolled around like innocent children. They came to a stop, and Noah was on top of Matthew. Matthew tried to sit up, but Noah pushed him back in the snow. He refused to get off.

 Laughing, Matthew asked, “Are you gonna let me get up?”

 “Not till you know what happened wasn’t anyone’s fault. I was a depressed kid still haunted by my dad’s death. We were kids, Mateo. I needed help, and you couldn’t have saved me. I had to save me.”

 Matthew stared into Noah’s eyes. Suddenly, being called Mateo felt right. Slowly, he found himself slipping into a place of comfort. A familiar peace wrapped itself around him, and it scared him. He quickly flipped Noah. They laughed and lay together, side by side, making snow angels.

 Noah pulled his phone out, “Let’s get a picture for proof before you run away again.”

 For some reason, Matthew pulled Noah’s head into his chest. Noah was surprised but happy. They both smiled, and the camera flashed. It was a perfect picture of love.

 “I ran because I got scared. Listening to our story. It sounds like you always showed up for me, and I never showed up for you.” Matthew said with a stillness to his voice.

 “We showed up for each other.”

 “Why me? What was it about me,” Matthew asked as he stared at the stars.

 Noah said, “Look at me.”

 Matthew looked at him. Noah touched his beautiful face. They both exhaled.

 Noah stroked Matthew’s face, “The first time I looked at you, you took my breath away. Even now, you still take my breath away. It was always you, and it always will be you. You’re my Mateo.”

 Noah grabbed Matthew’s coat. The sudden movement startled him. Noah pulled Matthew on top of him and locked him in with his legs. Matthew was trapped with nowhere to go.

 “You’re still my favorite person, even if you never remember it,” Noah said tenderly.

 Matthew touched Noah’s face. That feeling of peace that frightened him earlier came back. Instead of fighting it, he let it wrap him in the warmest hug he had ever felt. The desire to kiss Noah burned in his heart. He couldn’t resist. Their lips connected briefly. Then their lips met again, and it felt like a million lips were kissing him.

 

September 2005 (Matthew)

 Matthew stormed down the empty school halls. His blood had been boiling since his conversation with Vivian yesterday. He wasn’t sure what Cooper had done, but it had to be wrong. He stormed into the crowded cafeteria. Cooper was sitting with Stacey, Bev, and a few of their friends.

 He walked over with his fist balled. He could only see red. His heart was beating a mile a minute. He rolled up on Cooper and swung. His fist connected effectively and efficiently with Cooper’s jaw.

 The force of the blow knocked Cooper out of his chair, and everyone went wild. Bev jumped up and tried to grab Matthew, but he pushed her away.

 Bev yelled, “What the hell, Matty?”

 “What did you do to him,” Matthew screamed at Cooper.

 Stacey jumped by Cooper’s side, “Oh my God, Bev, control your guy. Coop didn’t do anything.”

 Matthew screamed, “Bullshit! He’s the reason Noah tried to kill himself. His mom told me you did something to him.”

 “The little fag came onto me. He tried to suck my dick in the kitchen. I put him on his ass,” Cooper said defensively.

 “Liar. Noah would never go for someone like you,” Matthew charged at Cooper, but people held him back.

 Cooper got up. He spits, and blood flies out of his mouth. He approached Matthew with his hand held out as a truce.

 “Matty, end this crap now,” Bev demanded.

 Matthew looked around, and all eyes were on him. He took Cooper’s hand. Cooper brought him in for a bro hug.

 Cooper whispered, “Between me and you, I let him suck my dick, and then I fucked him. The first dick he ever had was mine. He thought I loved him after the fact. Truthfully, I just wanted to say I was able to do what you couldn’t do.”

 Matthew’s temper flared, and he punched Cooper in the stomach. Cooper rushed Matthew, and they fell to the floor. The two rolled around like wild animals, beating the shit out of one another. In the end, some teachers broke up the fight. The students claimed that Matthew won the fight.

 Thanksgiving 2005 (Matthew)

Matthew sat down at the computer and logged into Facebook. He had been logging in daily since Noah left, hoping to find him. He was about to search for Noah when his mother announced that Bev had arrived for Thanksgiving dinner.

 The conversations around the table were the last thing on his mind. All he could think about was Noah. Things with Bev were strained. She was there because his mother had insisted on him inviting her.

 “Mrs. Colby, everything tastes amazing,” Bev said as she took a bite of turkey.

 “Oh, Bev, you’re so sweet. You can call me Rosa, though,” she smiled.

 “Bev, is your brother home from college for the holidays,” Matthew’s younger sister Ashlyn asked. She had a crush on Blair.

 Bev looked uneasy, “He’s gonna spend Thanksgiving in California. He goes to school there. He attends Stanford, but he's staying.”

 That grabbed Matthew’s attention quickly. “Why? What’s he doing there? Is he seeing Noah? That's it, isn't it? He's not coming from Cali because he's going to see Noah. Right?”

 Matthew stared a hole into Bev’s soul. She didn’t want to answer, but how could she not? Matthew had just put her on the spot. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about Noah—the boy who still held her boyfriend’s heart.

 “I’m sorry. Noah invited him because his mom would be on call at the hospital. They are really good friends.”

 “Are you fucking kidding me? They talk? They're really good friends? What about me?” Matthew angrily shouted.

 “Matthew? Language. I know you’re upset that Noah left, but it’s not the end of the world.” Rosa chastised.

 “You don’t understand. He’s my favorite person in the world, and he cut me out of his life. I just needed time.” Matthew spoke from a place of pain.

 Bev had grown tired of this picture. She knew then that no matter what, Matthew would always love Noah. No one else would ever be enough for him. She couldn’t keep trying to hold on to someone who didn’t want to be held.

 “Your favorite person? Don’t be dramatic, Mat,” Rosa said firmly.

 “It’s been two months, and you still care more about him than me. I’m never going to be enough for you, am I?” It was more of a statement instead of a question.

Matthew looked around the table, and everyone was watching him. Out of everyone there, the person he wanted most wasn’t there. It was time to stop hiding and lying to himself.

 “Mat, what is going on right now? What is Bev talking about,” Rosa asked.

 Matthew poured out his heart, “I like Noah. I love him. He’s all I ever think about, and I can’t find the clarity in life when he’s not around. My heart hurts for him. It beats for him. I love him, Mom. I want to be with him. I like girls, but I love Noah more than any girl.”

 “Oh my God, Mat. I’m so happy for you. I have a gay brother,” Ashlyn squealed.

 “I’m sorry, Bev. I tried,” Matthew said.

 “I know you did,” she said.

 Rosa slammed her hands down on the table. The idea of her only son being gay was infuriating. She was not going to allow him to endanger his soul.

 “No son of mine is going to be gay. I suggest you change that song and dance now. Go pray and ask God to forgive you and speak nothing of this ever again,” She shouted.

 “It doesn’t work like that, Mom. I can’t just turn it off. I thought you loved Noah.”

 “I do love him, and I will pray for his soul. I loved him as a friend to you. Not a lover. You will not burn in hell for him. Repent!”

 Everyone sat quietly for a moment. Matthew let it all sink in. He had pushed Noah away and found life to be miserable without him. He couldn’t let anyone trash the love he felt for Noah.

 I will not ask for forgiveness for finding love,” Noah said boldly.

 She stood up and screamed, “Then get out! You cannot stay here,” she yelled as she slammed her hands on the table repeatedly, “You live under my roof. You obey my rules. Go back in the closet and find your manhood.”

 “Mom?” Ashlyn called out, shocked and disappointed.

 “Silence,” she fired at her daughter.

 Matthew cried out, “Why can’t you be a supportive mom like Noah’s mom?”

 “Maybe if she had been a better parent, he wouldn’t have tried to kill himself.”

 Angrily, Matthew said, “I wish you had died instead of Dad!”

 Rosa quickly made her way over to Matthew. She slapped him across the face.

“You are ungrateful, and I don’t want you here anymore. Get out!” she demanded.

 Matthew left his mother’s house that night. He walked for what felt like hours. Whenever he saw a car, he would try to hitchhike a ride.

Vivian was driving home when she saw Matthew wandering along the dark road. She pulled over and rolled the window down.

 “Matthew,” she called out. “What are you doing out here?”

 “I’m trying to hitchhike to California. I have to find Noah. I came out to my mom, and she put me out. I’m homeless with nowhere to go, and the only person I wanna be with is Noah.”

 “Matthew, get in the car, son.” She couldn’t allow him to wander the streets.

 “No, thank you, Miss Vivian. My mind is made up. I’m going to be with your son.”

 “Matthew, have you ever seen an angry black mother? Get your ass in this car now,” she said sternly.

 Matthew didn’t hesitate. He quickly jumped in the car. That night, Matthew got to sleep in Noah’s old bed, and for the first time in two months, he could smell Noah again.

 December 2005 (Matthew)

 Matthew had been living with Vivian for a month now. She was happy to have another person in the house, and he was glad to be there. Things with his mother were still tense. She had threatened to cut him off financially. Vivian helped him figure out the trust fund that his father had set up for him. It turned out that if he was in school when he turned 18, he could manage his finances.

 Matthew was excited about Christmas. Noah was supposed to be coming home, and that made him happy. Matthew walked down the stairs and heard Vivian talking to Noah on the phone. His heart leaped.

 “I’m disappointed, Noah. You promised me. I let you leave and go out there to live. You asked me to respect your journey and not fly out with you. All I asked was that you come home for Christmas. I know you’re growing up, but you’re still my baby.” She sounded disappointed.

 Matthew’s joy was quickly replaced with disappointment. It sounded like Noah wasn’t coming home.

 Whenever Noah called his mom, Matthew would say hello, and Noah would never say anything back. Matthew was determined to make sure Noah knew he cared about him.

 “Merry Christmas, Noah,” he shouted.

 Vivian gave him a stern look. He quickly mouthed an apology.

 “Okay. Yes, that was Matthew wishing you a Merry Christmas. Tell Blair I will cut his hair off the next time he interferes with my plans for you. Love you. Matthew, Noah says Merry Christmas to you too.”

 Matthew smiled so big and bright that they could see his teeth in space. He was on cloud nine. That night, he got on Facebook and found Noah had created a profile. He quickly sent him a friend request. He sat at the computer for hours, refreshing the page and waiting to see if Noah would accept his friend request. The acceptance never came.

 March 2006 (Matthew)

 Matthew was digging a garden when Vivian got home. It shocked her as she had never taken Matthew as the gardening type.

 “You garden? You’re a real mystery, Matthew,” she said playfully.

 “My therapist said that it could help to reduce negative thoughts and feelings and make me feel better. It gives me something to focus on.”

 “I see. Is it working?”

 “Not really,” he said with an attitude.

 “Okay, put the flowers down and tell me what’s bothering you.”

 Matthew sat in the dirt, “It’s Noah. I’ve made all these changes, and I’ve come out of the closet, and he won’t even accept my friend request to know how much I’ve changed. I don’t get how he can pick Blair over me. How can he pick him over everything we shared about ourselves?”

 “Okay, Noah didn’t pick Blair. They’re friends. Noah did what I raised him to do. He picked himself. All these positive changes you’re discussing should never be done for a boy or a girl. You do them for you. You are your first pick, Mat. Now, let me tell you something about my stubborn son. He is a helpless romantic. He got it from his dad. He loves grand gestures and flowers in springtime. The child believes the two greatest love stories are Sleepless in Seattle and Titanic. If you want him, show up for him.”

 “Like I did when I climbed through his window,” he said without thought.

 Shocked, Vivian responded, “Window? Let me catch you climbing through damn windows again, Mat. It gonna be me and you! You know I shouldn’t interfere, but I’ve seen you put in the work, and I may have an idea for your grand gesture.”

 

September 2005 (Noah)

It had been two days since Noah arrived in San Francisco. So far, his fresh start felt like the same old life in a new location. He sat in his bedroom window, staring at the Golden Gate Bridge. His Uncle Bobby’s house was amazing. It looked just like the house from the show Full House.

 There was a knock at the door, and Uncle Bobby entered the room without waiting for permission. His uncle was flamboyant. He was dressed in bright colors and dared anyone to mock him. He was a living queen in every sense of the word.

 “Oh, this is dreadful,” Uncle Bobby said as he pranced around the room. “No nephew of mine came to Cali to sit here and stare at that rusty bridge. We’re going out.” He spoke in the most over-the-top feminine way.

 “I don’t feel up to doing anything. Maybe tomorrow,” Noah said.

 “Maybe we go now. It is time for you to live your best queer life. You need some west coast dick. Southern dick does not fit you well.”

 Noah blushed, “Uncle Bobby!”

 “What? It’s not like you’re a virgin. You know what happens, and you’re eighteen. Now first rule every young queen or king if that’s your thing…should know is dicks and balls may hurt us, but fashion elevates us. Let’s go bitch. The future waits for no one. Not even for a bad bitch, and her soon-to-be equally bad bitch nephew.”

 Uncle Bobby held out his hand and winked his eye. Noah took it, and they went off for a day of exploring. The first stop was The Castro. It was enchanting to see so many proud gay men and women living their best lives. Noah found it amusing to see people walking around the district naked without a care in the world. They dined at Harvey’s before hitting Fisherman’s Wharf.

 Along the way, they saw street performers and people dressed in drag, living life to the fullest. It was one of the best days of Noah’s life. They spent the entire day being tourists. For the first time in a long time, all his worries seemed so far in the rearview mirror of life.

 That night, Noah and Uncle Bobby sat in front of the TV, eating ice cream, and watching the show Noah’s Arc. Noah was more relaxed than he had been in a long time.

 “That’s gonna be you here in SF. Have you an arc of amazing gay friends, and these West Coast boys will be hella crazy over my enchanting southern charm of a nephew.”

 Noah blushed, “I kinda like that idea.”

 “Well, you start school on Monday. Are you ready?”

 “I’m ready for the friends, but I’m going to stay clear of boys for a bit. Maybe I should force myself to be straight. See how the other side lives.”

Uncle Bobby faked being shocked, “I will slap you with a gay bible. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to corrupt you? Since your father told me you were gay. I just spoke a whole gay tribe into your life, and you're talking about women. The nerve.”

 Noah felt faint almost. All this time, he had thought his father didn’t know, and it always pained him that he never found the courage to tell his dad.

 Noah asked, “He knew. How?”

 “Child, you had a big ass poster of Tom Welling from Smallville on your wall and that Justin boy from Queer as Folk. Everyone knew. Your dad feared how the world might treat you but was proud of you. He would talk about you for hours. You were the apple of his eye, and he would still be so proud of you. You are just like him. You’re going to be okay, nephew.”

 “Right now, I want to call and tell Matthew, but I’m not ready to talk. It would just hurt too much.”

 “If you’re not ready to face that hurt, it’s okay. Is there anyone you feel ready to talk with?”

 “There’s Blair. He was there, apparently, when Mom found me. I think I owe him a call. Maybe he can drive up and see me. He goes to Stanford.”

 “I’d say that’s a fine start, nephew.” Uncle Bobby said with a reassuring smile.

 Thanksgiving 2005 (Noah)

 The doorbell rang. Noah quickly ran down the stairs. He was so excited to see Blair. It had been two months since he had seen him, but they always talked on the phone. Noah was doing well in school. Most of his friends were gay, and by some weird luck of faith, he was the popular kid this time.

 Noah reached the front door just as Uncle Bobby walked in from the kitchen. When Noah opened the door, Blair stood there with a bright smile.

 Gleefully, Noah greeted him, “Kent!”

 Blair hugged him, “Heartbreaker.”

 “Oh my God, I’m so happy you’re here.” Noah couldn’t contain his excitement.

 Uncle Bobby cleared his throat, “Who is this?”

 “Uncle Bobby, this is Blair. Blair, this is the fabulous Uncle Bobby.”

 “It’s nice to meet you, Uncle Bobby,” Blair said as he shook Uncle Bobby’s hand.

 “Very strong and very boy next door. I approve,” Uncle Bobby playfully said.

Blair responded just as playfully, “Well, thank you, sir. Your approval means everything to me.”

 “Come on, you can see the Golden Gate Bridge from my room, Kent. Wait, you've probably seen it a million times. You've been in Cali longer than I have." Noah beamed with joy.

 "I never get tired of seeing it, and I haven't seen it with you yet. So, come on, let's see it." Blair said as he smiled at Noah.

 Uncle Bobby whispered to Noah, “You do have a type. Tom Welling 2.0.”

 Thanksgiving dinner went well. Uncle Bobby had all his friends over, and Blair blended in well with all of them. Noah had the best time ever. After dinner, Blair and Noah went for a drive and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.

 They held hands as they walked across the bridge. The moon hung high and bright in the sky, and the soothing sounds of the North Pacific filled their ears.

 “This was hands-down my best Thanksgiving ever. Thank you for inviting me and letting me in,” Blair said as they walked.

 “Thank you for coming and for allowing me to let you in. You could have shut me out. I gave you guys a good scare that day.”

 “Water under the bridge, and look, we’re on an actual bridge.” Blair smiled and turned toward the moon. “Wow, look at how perfect the moon is. This is almost a perfect night,” said Blair as he pointed at the moon.

 “Almost? What would make it perfect?”

 “This,” he said as he kissed Noah.

 December 2005 (Noah)

 Noah and Blair stood on the balcony of the hotel lodge in Salt Lake City, looking out at the snow. The moon’s reflection bounced off the snow like the ocean.

 Noah was in awe, “This is beautiful. I could stay here forever. This is my happy place, officially. It’s perfect.”

 “Just like you,” Blair said as he kissed Noah’s neck. “How mad was your mom about Christmas?”

 “She will cut your hair off next time you mess with her plans. I’m not mad, though. I didn’t want to see Matthew. Not yet.”

 “At some point, you’ll have to talk to him. He’s staying in your house.”

 “I live in California. My mom is coming out here for graduation. I think I can avoid him forever.”

 “If you say so. I do want to apologize. I’m sorry I can’t take you to prom.”

 “It’s fine. It’s not like you’re my boyfriend, Kent.”

 “I’m not. I’ve spent my Thanksgiving and my Christmas with you, Heartbreaker.”

 “You think you are?”

 “I’ve been trying to be since the first day I saw you sitting by the lake.”

 Noah smiled at the memory. He pushed Blair back into the hotel room.

 “Kent, I like you a lot, I really do,” Noah tried to explain, but he couldn’t find the words.

 Blair twisted his lips. "It's him. You’re in love with Matthew. I know. Maybe one day, I’ll be your number one guy when the time is right.”

 “I’m so sorry, Kent.” Noah didn’t want to hurt Blair. He meant so much to him.

 “Don’t be. Why are you keeping him away if you love him? He’s fair game now. He’s single, and clearly, the idiot is in love with you.”

 “I can’t tell if my love for him is tied to our bond over losing our dads or if it’s something more. I’ve been in therapy trying to work through it, but it all just feels complicated still. I guess it doesn’t help that I hate my therapist. The lady is a bitch,” Noah said with a slight giggle.

 Blair took Noah’s hands, “Close your eyes for me.”

 Noah rolled his eyes, “What? Why?”

 “Just do it,” Blair said as he shook Noah’s hands. Noah closed his eyes. “Now, relax and clear your mind. Think back to the first day you saw Matthew. Can you remember it?”

 With closed eyes and a smile, Noah nodded, “Yeah. I can remember it—third-period chemistry class. I was the new kid, and the teacher made him my lab partner. He was in the back of the class. I couldn’t see him at first. I only saw his hand, and then I walked back there and saw him.”

 “Now tell me, how does it make you feel seeing him for the first time.”

 Noah inhaled and exhaled slowly, “It takes my breath away. Something about him just steals the air from my lungs.”

 Blair released Noah’s hands. Noah slowly opened his eyes. For the first time since his birthday, he wasn't confused about his feelings.

“Your love isn’t wrapped up in your grief. It was love at first sight, Noah. You’ve loved that idiot since the first day you met him.”

 Noah kissed Blair on his forehead. Their feelings were strong, but Noah’s heart belonged to Matthew. As much as Noah wanted to move on and away, Matthew still held a hold on him.

 “Can we just lay in the bed together,” Noah asked as he climbed into the bed and pulled Blair into a spoon position.

 Blair was exhausted. He drifted off into a deep sleep. Noah was unable to sleep. He logged into his laptop and finally created a Facebook account. The invitation had been sitting in his email since Thanksgiving when Blair sent it.

 Within minutes of creating his account, Noah received a friend request from Matthew. He sat frozen, unsure of what to do. Part of him wanted to accept the request, and another wanted to keep punishing Matthew.

 Blair called out to him just as he decided what to do.

 “Noah, come back to bed. I want to snuggle up with you.” Blair said as he tossed the covers back.

 Noah smiled and quickly shut the laptop. He jumped into bed with Blair and finally drifted off to sleep.

 March 2006 (Noah)

 Noah’s eyes were closed. His closest friend from school, Trevor, was applying eyeshadow on him.

“I think you would make a fantastic drag queen,” Trevor said as he finished applying Noah’s makeup. Okay, take a look.”

 Noah opened his eyes and admired himself in the mirror behind the bedroom door.

 “Wow!” Noah was surprised by how beautiful he appeared. He had never thought of himself as someone who would or could dabble in drag. Trevor had been trying for months to get him to try it.

 “Well,” Trevor said, spinning around in the chair. “Don’t keep me waiting in suspense.”

 Noah said in his best Southern Belle accent, “Well, my dear Trevor, I must say you have certainly outdone yourself.”

 Trevor smiled and responded as a Southern Belle, “I have a talent, dear Noah.”

 “Noah? Oh, no, child. Call me Dominique Deveraux. Now, hand me my fur,” Noah turned and strutted across the room. He tossed a sheet across his shoulder, pretending it was his fur.

 “Yes, and I’m Blanche Deveraux. We are sisters. Just call us the Golden Dynasty Girls.” Trevor strutted as well. The two boys laughed.

 “Trevor, I think I’m ready to try sex again. My first time was good, I think, but confusing. I want to know everything. I’m ready for the talk,” Noah said in his normal voice.

 “Okay, the first rule of business is that whatever you do to a guy, he does back. You suck his boy parts. He sucks on yours. He also has to eat it, and none of that silly one-lick shit. He has to get in there. Now sit down, and let me tell you how to make him beg."

 

May 2006

 Noah admired himself in the mirror. He looked stunning in his prom tux and masquerade mask. He couldn’t believe his senior prom and graduation were in a few weeks. So many things had changed over the last year in his life. As happy as he was, he was also a little sad.

 Neither of his parents was there to see him on prom night, and he had no date. He had decided not to date anyone when he came to Cali. Blair was originally going to be his prom date, but things changed, and that was no longer possible. He figured it was best to go solo. He didn’t want to give any of his suitors the wrong idea.

 “Nephew!” Uncle Bobby screamed from downstairs. “Get your black ass down here, girl!”

 Noah opened the door, “I’m coming bitch!” He said playfully as he began to come down the stairs.

 “That’s how you speak to your uncle?” Vivian said from the bottom of the stairs.

 “Mom?” Noah was so excited to see her. He leaped down the stairs and hugged her tightly. He hadn’t seen her since his birthday.

 Vivian was happy to see her son as well. As she held him, every worry she had held in her heart for the last eight months melted away.

 “What are you doing here?” Noah asked her as he broke away from the hug. “It’s not that I’m not happy to see you; I’m just shocked.”

 “I was not going to miss your prom.” She said as she admired her son with a smile.

 “I don’t have a date, but my friends will be here soon. I can’t wait for you to meet them.”

 “Actually,” Uncle Bobby chimed in, “Your ride is already outside.”

 “What? I thought I had a few more minutes. Let me grab them. You’re gonna love Trevor.”

 Noah walked outside and stopped in his tracks. A horse-drawn carriage was outside, and a young man wearing a mask stood in a tux holding some roses. The man pulled the mask off, revealing himself to be Matthew. Noah’s heart was instantly filled with joy. He had chopped off his long curls. His hair was still curly but blondish and lined up perfectly.

 “Matthew? Oh my God, you cut your hair,” Noah was stunned.

 Matthew smiled, brushing his hair, “You don’t like it?”

 “You look good either way. What are you doing here?” Noah couldn’t believe his eyes.

 “I heard you didn’t have a prom date, so I showed up because you’ve always shown up for me. I will always show up for you because you’re my favorite person.”

 Noah walked to Matthew and took the roses. He smelled them, and then he took his hands. Before leaving, they took some photos, and Vivian hugged them both.

 The prom was everything. It was on a large yacht that sailed along the coast. Noah introduced Matthew to all his friends. The night moved on, and Noah and Matthew eventually found themselves on the dance floor, dancing to “Diary” by Alicia Keys. It was an intimate dance, and it allowed them to talk.

 “I’ve missed you so much, Monty. I know showing up here doesn’t change everything. I just hope it can be a start. I’m in love with you, Monty. I love you. I was scared at first, but not anymore. I want to be brave for you. Be brave for us. If there is still a chance for us.”

 Noah pulled away from Matthew. They stood before each other with bare souls. Noah took Matthew’s hand and escorted him off the dance floor. He led Matthew into one of the empty cabin rooms. The cabin was clean, spacious, and well-decorated. A neatly made king-size bed faced a window with an ocean view.

 “If you don’t love me anymore, you could have said it up there, Monty.”

 “I didn’t want the first time I said it to be drowned out by loudspeakers. I love you, Mateo.”

 “You love me?” Matthew couldn’t hide his smile. It was bright and beautiful.

 “I do. I’ve loved you since the first day I met you.”

 Matthew felt a little bashful suddenly. His heart felt whole again, and he pulled Noah into a hug and then a kiss.

 “I’ve been miserable without you, Monty. I feel like I’ve missed so much. Tell me everything.”

 “Later,” Noah said as he wrapped his arms around Matthew’s neck.

 Noah kissed Matthew and started to unbutton his shirt. Matthew stopped him. He wanted Noah in every way, but he didn’t want to put any pressure on him.

 “Are you sure? We don’t have to do anything. I’m just happy to be here with you, Monty.”

 Noah dimmed the lights in the room and turned on the one song that he knew could express how he felt about Matthew. “You” by Jesse Powell began to play.

 “I’m beyond sure. It should have been you the first time,” he said as he resumed kissing Matthew.

 The kiss slowly evolved into passion and desire. They started to undress one another. Matthew couldn’t get enough of Noah’s kisses. His tongue worked its way into Noah’s mouth, and his hands gripped his glutes.

 Matthew pulled Noah’s pants and underwear down. He grabbed hold of Noah’s cock and stroked him as they kissed.

 “You made me feel amazing the last time. I want to return the favor,” Matthew told him as he kissed Noah’s chest and stomach.

 Matthew got on his knees. He admired Noah’s throbbing cock for a moment. He ran his tongue along the shaft and licked Noah’s smooth balls. Noah stood there, both shocked and turned on.

 Matthew started to suck on his fat cock. Noah’s toes curled. Matthew pulled his own pants down and stroked his firm erection as he continued to blow Noah. The taste of Noah in his mouth gave him a pleasure he didn’t know was possible.

 Noah lovingly ran his fingers through Matthew’s hair. Seeing Matthew on his knees with his bright red lips around his cock was a beautiful sight. Matthew jerked him and blew his cock at the same time.

 “It feels amazing. I want some of yours,” Noah breathed.

 Matthew stood up and kissed Noah some more. They placed their cocks together and stroked each other passionately. Noah then got on his knees and took the cock he wanted most in life in his mouth.

 Matthew groaned, “Oh, baby, I missed you so much.”

 Noah moved his head around and back and forth on Matthew’s thick member. Matthew’s cock leaked sweet nectar into Noah’s mouth. He ran his hands over Matthew’s amazing thighs and his round tight ass.

 Matthew’s cock grew longer in Noah’s mouth. Noah was not discouraged one bit. He worked that cock with his fat lips and heavy tongue. Matthew’s body tingled. Everything about what they were doing felt right. They belonged to one another.

 Matthew pulled Noah up and kissed him more. Their tongues danced inside each other’s mouths. Their hands roamed the most intimate parts of one another’s bodies. Matthew massaged Noah’s ass, and his fingertip brushed his hole.

 Noah led Matthew to the bed. Noah then bent over and presented his perfectly shaped ass to Matthew.

 “Do I just stick it in?” Matthew asked him nervously.

 Noah looked back over his shoulder, “After you eat it.”

 Matthew chuckled and licked his lips. He wanted nothing more in the world than to make Noah feel good. Matthew spread Noah’s cheeks. The tiny hole winked at him. It was so tight and perfect that it made his mouth water. Matthew kissed Noah’s hole, and the moment he heard Noah moan, he knew what to do. Matthew licked his tongue all over Noah’s anus. He flicked his tongue like a cat drinking milk.

 The taste was like honey and vanilla blended. Noah felt amazing. His body entered a place of heightened sexual pleasure. His hole relaxed as Matthew pushed his tongue inside. This urge to shake his ass came over him.

 Noah shook his ass in Matthew’s face. This caused Matthew to become more aggressive in his ass-eating. Matthew spread those cheeks wider and pushed his tongue deeper inside of him.

 “I’m ready, Mateo,” Noah said softly to Matthew.

 Matthew spit on his cock and slowly pushed it in. The head slipped inside, and Matthew was hooked. Noah smiled as the head pushed in. He had been waiting for that moment for so long. It was like a dream that had finally come true.

 Matthew slid the rest of his member into Noah’s tight ring. Slowly, he moved in and out of him. Noah started to moan. Matthew increased the tempo of his strokes. Noah’s hole pulsed and throbbed around Matthew’s cock.

 “I don’t want to hurt you.” Matthew was sincere.

 “It would only hurt if you stopped. Give it to me.” Noah told him.

 Matthew rocked his hips back and forth. Noah pulled his cheeks apart. The sight of his cock moving in and out of Noah’s ass turned Matthew on. He lifted one leg on the bed to give him a different angle.

 Matthew started to fuck Noah well. His heavy balls pounded Noah’s taint. Noah loved every minute of it. That tight hole became wet and warm. Matthew’s round ass cheeks clapped together as he drove his cock in and out of Noah.

 “On my God, it feels so good, Monty. You feel so good, baby,” Matthew moaned.

 Noah encouraged Matthew to fuck him harder. Matthew did what was asked of him. He couldn’t have said no if he wanted to. Noah’s ass was the best thing he had ever felt in his life.

 “Can you ride me?” Matthew asked.

 Seductively, Noah replied, “For you? Yes.”

 Matthew got on his back and pulled Noah into his lap. As they kissed, Noah eased himself down on Matthew’s heavy cock. Noah started bouncing up and down on it. Matthew’s cock brushed the inside of his ass like a paintbrush to a wall.

 The sound of their skin slapping drowned out their lust-filled moans. Matthew spread his legs wider, and Noah slammed up and down harder on his dick. Noah’s hole leaked fluids all over Matthew’s cock. The fluids ran down Matthew’s shaft and onto his heavy, hairless balls. Noah rode Matthew like a wild horse in the wilderness for several minutes. Their lips locked, and Matthew helped him go up and down on his raging cock.

 The bed squeaked beneath them. Matthew felt his soul leave his body. He never wanted it to end. He felt as if he could spend his whole life loving Noah. They were not fucking. They were making love.

 Matthew rolled Noah on his back. His wet cock plunged into Noah without mercy. He wanted Noah to know that he belonged to him always and forever. They were made for each other. Despite everything that happened, they were endgame. Noah accepted the way Matthew stroked him.

 Matthew drove his dick in and out of Noah. Noah’s cheeks clapped, and they groaned louder. Noah stroked his hard cock as Matthew pounded his hole. Noah could feel his climax coming. The nut in his cock begged for release.

 Noah moaned, “I’m about to cum. OH MY GOD!”

 Noah’s cock exploded with hot cum. Matthew continued to fuck him through his climax. Noah’s hole put a death grip on Matthew’s member. The pressure was too intense for Matthew.

 “I’m gonna cum in you,” Matthew screamed.

 He shot a nice hot and heavy load into Noah’s ass. Matthew went still for a moment. He was unable to move. His dick throbbed inside of Noah.

 “Holy shit. Why did we wait so long to do this,” Matthew exclaimed.

 The two snuggled up to each other and kissed repeatedly. For a moment, they lay there quietly, breathing heavily.

 “Mateo, was I any good?” Noah asked. He felt insecure about it all. The past still had a way of rearing its head in the present.

 “Were you any good? Babe, you nearly killed me. My God! You were incredible. I’ve never felt so amazing in my life. I can’t wait to do it again and again and again. I fuckin’ love you so much, Monty.” Matthew was beyond excited.

 Noah pulled Matthew into another kiss. That night, they made love one more time before the boat docked.

 

January 2026

 The two men lay in the snow, kissing as if they were the only two souls in the universe. Noah had dreamed about those lips for the last ten years. He feared he would be gone again if he stopped kissing him.

 Matthew had spent the last ten years wondering about his past. He wondered if he had known love in his old life. Now that he was kissing Noah under the snow, he knew he had been loved. The scary part was that with no memory, he could feel himself becoming lost in Noah. Noah could feel Matthew’s erection pressing against him. He wanted to touch every part of him.

 He lowered his hand and briefly stroked Matthew’s cock. Matthew felt Noah’s hand touch his most private area, and it broke him out from under the spell. Matthew quickly pushed Noah off him and got up.

 “I’m sorry. I can’t do this, Noah. That was a terrible mistake.” Matthew sounded conflicted and frustrated.

 “No, it wasn’t. You felt our connection. Matthew-”

 “My name is Greg!” Matthew shouted so loud it put fear in Noah.

 “I’m sorry. I don’t know the rules for any of this. We can take our time. I don’t care how long it takes. I love you,” Noah said to him with pleading eyes.

 Matthew shook his head, "There is no time. I have a husband at home whom I love with my entire heart and soul. I will never leave him.”

 “What?” Noah placed a hand over his heart. “You have a husband?”

 “Yeah, and he’s waiting for me at home.” Matthew walked away.

 Noah stood in the snow, unable to move. He watched Matthew walk away. Matthew's image grew faint in the distance until, finally, he was gone. Once again, Matthew was gone from his life. Tears rolled down Noah’s face, but they froze in the cold winter’s air. They were frozen in time, just like his love for Matthew. A love frozen and buried deep beneath the ice and snow of the Arctic. Unable to move forward or backward. Frozen for all the world to see.