Gay Jock Blog

Oh, you didn't think jocks are working out just to look good for others, did you? Nope, they big time want to turn on the most important person in their little jock worlds. Themselves. Quality mirror/selfie time is a key part of any jock's day, just like a balanced breakfast.

Eye contact is everything. As in eye to bulge. Eye to ass. Eye to feet. Eye to muscles. Eye to man. Sure, it's tough to flirt when what you're looking at can't return your gaze. So that's why you need to gussy up on your gay psychic abilities.

All those protein powders have to end up somewhere. And that somewhere is right inside these dumb jocks. I have no proof these guys are dumb. I just hope they are because then they'll fall for stupid as fuck opening lines such as: "If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" Or the classic "If I told you that you have a beautiful body, would you fuck me in the mouth?"

I'm guessing for most of us "look but don't touch" is way better than "touch but don't look" right? Because you might end up touching an actual kielbasa, fire hose, rosebud or set of family jewels. And except for the jewels, touching all those things would be a confusing disappointment when in their literal (non-sexual metaphor) forms.

There are a lot of criteria when it comes to deciding if a guy is suckable or not. Look past the tight body and handsome, devilish face and you'll get to the actual, complete list of suck criteria. This was a long, hard list to come up with and has been tested by a scientist with a Master's degree in Suckology, and a B.S. Rimming with a minor in Philosophy.

And of those, he hasn't used the Philosophy minor for anything except in creating an "I SUCK THEREFORE I AM" t-shirt.

So what is the scientifically-tested list of suck criteria?

When the urge to expose strikes, the camera comes out. It's an unstoppable urge, like having to pee really, really bad or your urge to swallow right now because I mentioned swallowing.

It's a Guy Watching first. Check out the guy getting head in the parking garage. He's taking a POV shot of the cocksucker while both of them are getting their photo snapped by a peeper. It's like that Spy vs. Spy comic (minus the black and white pointy hats).

Roman Tik looks sweet and innocent at French Lads, but his bubble butt framed perfectly by a black jockstrap shows that he's hungry for cock as his hole winks at Logan, begging for attention. Roman face-sits on Logan enabling him to rim his butt hole real deep. With his face down and ass facing up, Roman takes his buddy's dick in his ass and gets stretched wide open.

It's all about that moment. Love at first sight. No, make that lust. No, call it a crush. Because there's always just one little thing that does it, that gives you that sweet, innocent moment of desire. Or one big thing. Bulge. Exposed skin. Muscles. That right amount and placement of hair on head or leg or arm. All designed just for you in that moment.

Want dick. Need dick. Get dick. Repeat. The same suggested method applies to ass. Damn, there are so many hot men to sneak peeks at. Is that what the third eye is for? Sure, the third eye is probably this mystical concept for non-literal perception, but when it's not busy non-literally perceiving, can it spare some visual data processing power to spy on more hot guys? Who do I ask to make that happen?

Let's break it down together. Here's what I want about each of these guys. But first, sure, I found each with a mouse click. Yet beyond the visual, they are well more than a mouse click away in real life. To find them in the flesh, I'd have to put out some sort of homosexual Amber Alert that would beam each pic to every cellphone in the United States (assuming these guys are even in the U.S.). Then folks could come forward as being or knowing each guy. And then I could get what I want. Totally feasible.

Palmer is an ideal scene partner for Brannon on Chaos Men with his sculpted body and similar height. Both guys had just finished a physique show and Brannon has a bit of a glow from his spray tan! When fully naked and with their cocks rock solid they quickly get into some 69 action. There's some body worship going on and although neither guys are that experienced at sucking cock, they know just how to fuck! They flip fuck each other bareback ending with Palmer dumping his man seed up Brannon's cute butt hole.

Muscular lean Zeb and his bodybuilder buddy Dawson head inside after a volleyball game. The guys make out on the couch, which progresses to blowjobs and 69ing. Dawson gets his bubble butt eaten out and fingered prior to receiving Zeb's long hard cock. Corbin Fisher just can't stop making this ridiculously hot porn. Watch the trailer to see these guys in action.

Jess Royan is a macho guy with an XXL hard cock. Slutty Romeo Alonzo's smooth hungry hole is gagging for a fuck with his ass in the air on French Lads waiting for Jess to come in wearing his socks, trainers and gym gear. Jess gets sucked off and gapes Romeo's cunt with his huge dick. Then he dumps his load over his wrecked hole.

Last week Gay Hoopla gave away a free video with their brand new jock Ryan Winter. Now we have the absolute pleasure of his first sex scene - and it's with Jason Keys! The scene begins with an interview with the two guys and then they embrace in a passionate kiss which quickly explodes into a suck and fuck session with two very hot American jocks.