The Agent

I came out of my bedroom with a light blue and white striped shirt and some khaki-colored short pants.  The hem of the shirt was not tucked in, and I looked the way I felt, relaxed and ready for a nice day.

Anthony had a pair of denim shorts that appeared to have been starched.  “You look nice,” he said.  “I can’t decide which shirt to wear.  I’ve got three white shirts and a button-up blue one.  The white ones have long sleeves.”

“What about a nice T?”

“All my T-shirts are white,” he replied.

“I forgot that you’re a government man.  I bet you only wear black ties.”

“Yes.  What’s wrong with that?”

I walked up really close to him.  “Nothing.  I’m sure they look quite sexy on you.”  I gave him a quick peck on the lips.  “Quite sexy.”

Anthony began to speak in a fake German accent.  “You will not break me.  I will not divulge any secrets.  You cannot make me talk.”

I placed two fingers on his chest and walked them up to his ear and then ran my finger around his outer ear.  “Don’t worry.  I won’t make you talk.  You’ll be screaming the secrets, but not until I’m ready to hear them.”  I kissed him again, this time pushing his lips apart with my tongue.  The kiss lasted about five seconds.  I stepped back.  “I think I have the perfect shirt for you.”  I went to my closet and returned with a mint green short-sleeved shirt.  I held it up for him.

Anthony looked at the shirt and then over at me.  “You wear that one and let me have the one you’re wearing now.”

“But this is my favorite shirt,” I protested.

He continued to look at me.

“Oh, fucking hell.”  I put the green shirt over the back of the couch, removed my striped shirt, and handed it to him.  “You won’t look as good as I did,” I snarled.  He put it on.  I grabbed the green shirt.  “Fuck, you look hot in that shirt.”  I finished putting on the green one.

“You cuss too much,” he told me, again with no real emotion in his voice.  “I can smell your cologne on this shirt.”

“You’re welcome to sniff me anytime you want.”

“I’m not sure that’s wise.  I’m not the President, and you’re not a young girl.  People might talk.”

I laughed.  “But now that I know you like my cologne… you do like it don’t you?”

“Yes.  Because it smells like you.”

I grinned.  “I think I’ll sprinkle some on your pillow so you’ll be thinking of me when you fall asleep.”

“I’m wondering if I’ll ever be able to fall asleep without thinking of you.  I…”  His voice fell off into silence.

I stepped over to him and took his hand in mine.  “I know.  It feels right doesn’t it.”

I thought I saw his eyes glisten slightly.  “I’m worried that if my job knew what I was thinking that they’d fire my ass.”

I wanted to say ‘Screw them’ and push him back into the bedroom.  Instead, I swallowed hard.  “Let’s find you an apartment,” I said.

“Maybe they have one here,” he replied quietly.

“Maybe.”  I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed the back of it.  “Let’s ask.”  I let go of his hand, and we grabbed our wallets and walked out into the bright mid-morning sunshine.  I led him to the leasing office; we stopped at the mailbox on the way.  I found nothing of interest there.

Stuart, one of the new people in the office, greeted us.  “My friend Anthony here is moving to town and is looking for a place,” I said.

“I’ve got a couple of two-bedroom apartments, but no singles,” Stuart replied.  “Would that work for you?”

“Are they upstairs?” I asked.

“The roommate floor plan is just two apartments down from yours.  The same walkway.  They just finished putting in new carpet, and it’s got one of the new kitchens with the raised dishwasher.  I can transfer you over, Dylan, and you won’t even have to put down an additional deposit.  I can fix it so you can start moving in but your rent won’t start until the beginning of the month.  Both bedrooms have bathrooms and closets, so you’ll only have to fight over who wants the one on the right and who wants the one on the left.  They’re identical, just flipped.”

“May we go take a look?” asked Anthony.

“Sure.  Let me give Dylan the key.”  Stuart winked at me.  “Don’t tell anyone that I let you go without me.”

Anthony forced a smile.  “Thank you.”

Five minutes later we were standing just inside Apartment 252.  I started to walk toward the kitchen.  Anthony’s hand gripped my arm.  “Do you think this is a good idea?”

“Well, it will keep us from having to move again in about six weeks when I ask you if you want to move in together,” I answered.

“It was going to take you six weeks to decide that?”

I put my head on his shoulder.  I wanted to ask you this morning, but I thought I should give you a little time.  You seem a little more deliberative than I am.”

“I had a roommate in college, and I hated it.”  He turned away and walked toward one of the bedrooms.  He walked to the other bedroom.  “I suppose that this place would be convenient; you wouldn’t have to walk very far to go home, and I can use one of the bedrooms for my hobbies.”

I felt my lower lip quiver.  He only wants to be friends, or maybe he just wants a fuck buddy.  Shit, I thought, what did I say to fuck things up?

He walked up to me.  “Here’s what I’m thinking,” he said.  “We should sleep in that room.  I think it will be cooler in the summer.  We can have another bed in that room and put my hobby stuff in there.  When people visit, we can say that it’s my room so they think we’re roommates.  Of course, at some point, I will want to let everyone in on it.  I mean, I certainly can’t date the perfect man and not let everyone know at some point.”  The smile that developed on his face was genuine.  I could tell.  Had I honestly seen him smile before?  I couldn’t remember, but I smiled back.

When we got back to my apartment, I scanned the room.  I didn’t have many things to move.  I’m not really a minimalist, but I just had never really had anything that I valued enough to hold onto.  There were a few childhood things, but my brother had packed those up when my parents converted our room into a guest bedroom.  My stuff was in one box, and his was in another.  Both boxes were in the guest bedroom closet, more than likely to stay there until the house was sold.  My only hobbies were reading, 1950s sci-fi movies, and silent movies.  I did my reading on my Kindle or with library books.  My collection of movies on DVD or Blu-ray numbered fewer than twenty.  So much was available on streaming, although the resolution could be problematic, that I only purchased my favorites.

I heard some furious clicking and looked over to see Anthony texting.  His fingers moved over the phone as if he were furious, but I found out that he was just a rapid texter.  He looked up at me.  “My sister and brother-in-law are going to bring my boxes.  They’ll all fit in the back of their Tahoe.  I gave them what little furniture I had.”

“What about your car?” I asked.

“I sold that before I left.  When I bought it, I was only driving a few miles at a time.  It’s a twelve-hundred-mile trip from there to here, and the car only went about three hundred miles between charges.  I should have got a hybrid.  Maybe I’ll get a pick-up truck.”

“Get something with a comfortable passenger seat so you can chauffeur me around in comfort.”

“I will.  Now, should I offer Diane the spare bedroom when she and Juan get here?”  His brow furrowed.

“I will assume that Diane and Juan are your sis and bro-in-law and not just some strangers you met at some point in your life.  Of course, it’s OK.  They’re family.”

“So is Jim,” Anthony replied.

As though on cue, there was a rapping at the window.  I looked up to see Jim standing at the living room window.

“I’ll get rid of him.”  Anthony’s face returned to its standard state of blankness.  He walked to the door and opened it slightly.  “Jim, I don’t think…”

Jim’s voice broke over his.  “I know.  I know.  But I need to talk to you, and I need to talk to Dylan.  I really need to talk to Dylan.”

I moved next to Anthony where Jim could see me.  

“Dylan, I am so embarrassed.  I’ve always been shitty to you, but I… I went overboard last night, and I have to apologize.”  He paused and looked down at the ground.  He lifted his chin and looked me directly in the eyes.  “I need to apologize for almost everything I’ve ever said to you, not just last night. I…”

“Why don’t you come in and sit down,” I said.

I saw Anthony raise an eyebrow as he stepped to the side.  Jim came in and sat on the sofa.  The fingers of his left hand were gripped in the fist made by his right.  “I’ve not only been an asshole, Dylan, but I’ve been an immature one.”

I bit my lower lip slightly and sat on the sofa’s other end.  I took a deep breath.  Was this going to be a repeat of Lucy pulling the football away at the last minute?  Was I Charley Brown and about to hit my head hard?  “I’m listening,” I said.

Jim looked up at Anthony and then at me.  “I practiced this in my head, but now I’m not sure where to start.  I let Hanson get to me last night.  He told me things that in my drunken stupor I believed.  Honestly, I never thought less of you because you’re gay.  I didn’t.  And I never could believe that you would do anything to anyone else.  That was just plain stupid.  I know I need to curb my drinking.  I’ve fucked up my friendship with your brother and treated you like shit.”

For the first time, I saw pain in Jim’s face.  I saw tears form in his eyes.  “What I say to you now is not based on any contingencies,” I began.  “You did go too far, and what you said was hurtful, but I believe you are honestly sorry for what happened, and I forgive you for it.  After this, I won’t mention it again.  I hope my brother can forgive you as well, and I hope you can control the drinking.”

“You forgive me?”  Tears spilled onto Jim’s face.  “But I don’t deserve it.”  He turned to look at Anthony.  “I didn’t treat you any better, and I’m really sorry for that, too.”

Anthony stepped closer to the window.  “I’m not sure anyone ever deserves to be forgiven, but I can see now how it can open a new future.  I forgive you as well, and I want to put this into the past.  I’m moving here, and you’re my family.  I want to get to know you better and to be able to trust you.”

“You can trust me,” said Jim.  “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  Now, help me move this couch.”

“Move the couch?” asked Jim.

“Yes.  Dylan, grab the key and open the other apartment.”

I did as asked, and within an hour, Jim, Anthony, and I had moved the large furniture pieces to the new apartment.  Jim set up the air mattress in “Anthony’s” room while I scrubbed the kitchen drawers in preparation for the utensils and small appliances.  Jim left a few hours later, and all I had left to move were the clothes hanging in my closet.  I was sorting through the clothes when Anthony came into the closet; he was dressed in black pants and a white shirt.

“Going somewhere?”  I smiled because he was dressed for something. 

“Work.”  His tone wasn’t angry, but I sensed he wasn’t happy.  “They called.  Someone’s coming to get me.  I wanted to spend time next to you, taking turns holding one another.”

“We can still do that.”  I pressed myself against him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.  “You’re not going to work and never coming back, right?”

“No.  Of course not.  But it sounds like it’s an all-nighter.  I had one of those once before when they found the body…”  He stopped talking, and I felt him take a deep breath.  “Anyway.”

I looked up into Anthony’s eyes.  I saw something there that was deeper than sadness.  I began to wonder whether his quiet, almost withdrawn, demeanor was not just the result of years of hiding his sexuality.  He’d experienced some pretty awful things with this job.  “Do you talk about the things you see at work with your co-workers or with a therapist?  You know, someone who can help you deal with some of the more horrible things that I’m sure you’ve had to witness.”

“We’re required to have counseling sessions after any sort of exposure to things of that nature.”

Things of that nature.  That phrase stuck in my head.  He might have seen a counselor to check off a box on some list, but…

“I need to go to the other apartment.  That’s where they’re going to pick me up.”

“Want me to stay here?” I asked.

“No, of course not.  I told them that I have a roommate.  Lots of the guys who are single share an apartment, so no one will think anything of it.”

I nodded.

As if to reassure me, he said, “I’m not hiding anything from them.  What’s happening here, between us, is our business.  It’s OK to share it with friends, but the people at work aren’t friends.  Not yet, at any rate.”

I smiled.

“What?”

“You called it “what’s happening between us.”  I stepped closer to him.  “I’m falling in love with you.”  I put my hand on his arm.  “There, I’ve said it.”

“I think I’m falling, too.  But until I hit the ground…”  His eyes locked with mine then quickly looked away.  “I wish I were like other people.”

“No.”  I put my hands up and held his head so I was face-to-face with him.  “I don’t want you to be like other people.  You’re different, and I like that.”

I saw his jaw relax.  “Am I going to fall hard and get hurt when I hit the ground?”

I brushed my lips against his.  “Remember that I’m standing in front of you, facing you, no matter where you are.  And when you hit the ground, I’ll be under you to cushion the blow.  Trust that.”

He said nothing for several seconds, seconds that seemed like an eternity.  He pulled his lower lip into his mouth; I could tell he was thinking.  “You may be the first person that I have ever truly trusted.”

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him tightly against me.  It was a strange sensation.  I felt safe.  Warm.  Protected.  And Protective.  I liked the feeling.  I hope he had the same sensations.

A little later that afternoon, I met his new partner, Nolan Rivers, who seemed to be about the same age as Anthony.  Nolan called him Tony, which seemed strange to me, but it turned out that’s what they had called him in his last office.  There was a murder case that required Anthony’s input, and that’s all they were allowed to say in front of me.  I watched them leave with no idea of how long he would be gone.  I finished moving my clothes and the last of the items from the old apartment.

I figured I would just put things away and maybe watch a movie, but I soon realized just how efficient Anthony had been at moving things.  I knew he had thoroughly cleaned the kitchen, but he had also put everything in place.  I had nothing to do except to hang the clothes in my closet.

My phone read three-oh-seven a.m. when I heard the click of the lock.  I sat up as the front door opened.  I had fallen asleep on the couch.  The TV’s auto-shutoff had long ago turned it off.

“Did you wait up for me?” asked a gentle voice.

“No,” I admitted.  “I fell asleep and just now woke up.”

“You could have gone to bed, silly.”

I stood up and walked over to him.  “I didn’t want to sleep alone in the bed.  It’s the first time in this new apartment.  I thought that we should do it together.”

“You are sentimental, aren’t you?  My knees are getting closer to the ground.”

“I’m also a practical guy.  Did you get something to eat?” I asked.

“Yeah.  Jersey Mike’s.  I just need a shower.”

“Need me to scrub your back?”

He reached out, grabbed my hand, and pulled me toward the bathroom.  Once there, he brushed his teeth.  I brushed mine as well.  He stripped down and placed his shirt and pants into one hamper and his socks, t-shirt, and underwear into the other.  “Those go to the cleaners, and the shirts get starched.”  He turned on the shower and faced me.  “Are you going to scrub my back with your clothes on?”

I slowly removed my clothes and put them into the hamper with his socks and T-shirt.  He took my hand again, and we stepped into the hot streams of water.  His mouth immediately found mine, and I found myself fondling his chest; my thumbs moved back and forth over his nipples.

Anthony’s mouth moved to my ear.  His tongue tickled my lobe.  Then he whispered, “Nolan asked whether we were friends or boyfriends.  I didn’t answer him right away because I was surprised he asked.  I had decided to tell him that we were more than friends when he told me that he was asking because he has a boyfriend that no one at the office knows about.  I told him that we are more than friends and at the start of a relationship and that I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone.”

A good feeling swept over me.

“Nolan said he would respect that.  I said I wouldn’t share his news with anyone except you.”

As I kissed Anthony again, I felt his hardness push against me.  I reached down and wrapped my fingers around him.  He gasped slightly at my touch.  I pulled the hair conditioner from the shelf and squirted a copious amount onto his penis and my fingers.  I moved my grip up and down his shaft as I kissed him again, using my tongue to push his lips apart.  He sucked my tongue into his mouth.  I squeezed his butt cheek with my free hand making sure that I didn’t miss a beat with my hand motions on his stiff shaft.  A shudder went through him as he came with more force than I had anticipated.  His cum splashed against the glass door of the shower, against my leg, and with a sound like hailstones on a roof as large drops struck the wall of the shower.

I moved behind Anthony and began to scrub his back.  He offered no resistance and was quiet as we finished the shower, dried, and spooned one another in the nude.  I fell asleep feeling content and more secure in my future happiness than I ever had before.