Adulting

Scotty’s story

We were finally moved into the new house. The four weeks of five of us being crammed into that tiny condo were pure hell. We heard more than a few complaints from neighbors about the noise. I think I heard cheering as the moving van left the building. The house wasn’t completely renovated yet, but we had the main stuff finished (the kitchen and three baths) and we just needed more room, so we moved in.

Danny and Ann had invited us over for a cookout before we moved in, surprisingly we all became fast friends. Danny had spent a few months in foster care when he was in his teens and his mom was battling some demons (he didn’t give a lot of detail and we didn’t ask). He totally empathized with Brad’s family, and the two of them welcomed us with open arms. Ann worked from home and would periodically check on the guys in the afternoons to make sure they were logged-in to classes and staying out of trouble. Just the threat of her showing up unannounced was enough motivation to keep them on track. Plus, she rarely showed up empty-handed, she always had snacks or cookies for them, so that made her a welcome intruder. I felt better knowing she was around when we were both at work.

Eli was acclimating nicely. He hung out with Brian and his friends a lot, and made several new friends of his own, including Danny and Ann’s older son, Dane. Seth, however, was having a little rougher time. He and Danny and Ann’s younger son, Cam were buddies and spent a lot of time together, but that was kind of it as far as friends went. When he wasn’t with Cam he spent a lot of time alone playing video games or reading. When the other brothers were rough housing (as Mom called it) or just generally giving each other shit like brothers do, Seth stayed out of it. And where I was concerned... he didn’t want much to do with me. I mean he was polite and threw a weak smile at me now and then, but he seemed to avoid me as much as possible. It was obvious something deeper was going on with this kid. We talked about getting him some professional help, someone he could talk to, but he wasn’t keen on the idea and Brad wanted to wait a little longer before we forced him “I know my brother, he’s more thoughtful about things and slower to go along with the crowd. Let’s give him a little more time” he said. I agreed.

It was the first Saturday after we moved into the new house and the five of us had been living together just over a month. Brian was working at the dry cleaners and Eli had a job with a lawn maintenance crew on the weekends. Brad was at the office catching up on paperwork bullshit, so it was just me and Seth for the first time ever. “Hey buddy, let’s go get some breakfast” I said. He gave me an obligatory smile and we headed to the VW. I threw him the keys and said “you drive.” That put a smile on his face.

“Really? Brad says we can’t drive this car” He said looking at me with that cute little face hoping I was willing to break the rules.

“Brad’s not here” I smiled back at him. “Just don’t tell any of your brothers” he literally jumped into the driver’s seat and started the car. That was the biggest smile I had seen on him to-date. I was on a mission to bond with this kid and put a permanent smile on his face. He drove us to Jordy’s Café with me navigating from the passenger seat. Jordy greeted us at the door and we took a small 2-top table in the corner. Seth ordered the biggest breakfast on the menu after asking me if it was okay. I just answered “As long as you eat it.”

He grinned and said “Oh, I’m gonna eat the heck out of that thing.” I laughed. He was actually letting me see his personality for the first time. Jordy came and took our order, he had met all of the brothers already at one of Kev’s Sunday night cookouts. I was so impressed at how all of Kevin and Randy’s… well I guess now our friends rallied around us. They say it takes a village, and we definitely had one! With five of us living together and moving into a bigger place now, our hefty bank account dwindled quickly and we still needed everything! When we moved in we needed beds, family room furniture, more plates, yard tools, etc. etc. and It all just magically appeared. Some new, some used, but friends and neighbors kept bringing in furniture, tools, anything we needed. It seemed that if we needed something, someone had a spare and if they didn’t, someone would buy it for us as a housewarming gift. Their generosity was just overwhelming.

After the food came I looked at Seth and said “How are you really doing, Seth?” He just looked at his plate and moved his fork around… exactly like his big brother Brad did when he was thinking of what to say.

“I’m okay, I guess” he muttered “I really like the new house and I’m happy we’re all together…” he said but stopped mid-thought.

“buuuuuttt….?” I asked.

He let out a very heavy sigh as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. “But I miss my friends, and mom, and home, and….” He paused again.

“And…?” I asked

He let out a sigh, looked me in the eyes for the first time ever, mustered up his courage and said “Father says gays are of the devil. I love you guys and don’t want you all to go to hell and I don’t want to go there either.” He just held my gaze with a truly concerned expression on his face begging for me to say something to solve his dilemma. This kid was torn, and frankly, I had no clue how to respond. Religion was not my thing. I was raised Catholic, was President of our youth group, I was even made Altar Boy Of The Year by the Sierra Club twice! But when I realized I was gay I really struggled with religion. If I accepted the beliefs I grew up with, then I was a sinner bound for hell, however, supposedly god loved me and makes no mistakes so why the hell did he make me gay? To punish me for something? Did god love me or hate me? I could not reconcile the inconsistencies that organized religion posed. I found so much hypocrisy that I gave up on organized religion altogether. I believed in a god, but a loving one, not one who waited for me to fuck up so he could damn me to a lake of fire like Seth’s Father believed. And to be honest, I believed that every view his father held to be true was nothing but brainwashed bullshit.

I realized that my lack of answers and personal struggle to figure it all out was exactly what Seth was dealing with. I thought for a while as I continued to look into his sweet, innocent, waiting eyes “I think the fact that you’re worried about our souls makes you a pretty great person, Seth” I finally said. “I’m not very religious, but I do know that there are thousands of religious beliefs and even more interpretations of the Bible” I paused trying to be careful with my words. “I can’t tell you which ones are right and which ones are wrong and frankly… I believe that anyone who claims they know for sure is full of shit!” He giggled at my swearing, it was a true, natural, unforced giggle and it was cute as hell on him. “All I can tell you is what I believe to be true. Do you want to hear it or should I just shut up now?” I asked.

He chuckled at that too “I want to hear it Scotty.” I don’t think I had ever even heard him say my name before this. If he did it was just an obligatory courtesy.

“I believe that If there is a god… his main concern is that we treat all his creations with respect and love. No matter what.” He nodded in agreement. “I also believe that I am who I was meant to be. I didn’t choose to be gay, I just am.” He gave me a confused look so I continued “I am not attracted sexually to women and no matter how hard I have tried over the years… and believe me I’ve tried hard, I am attracted to men. That’s just a fact.” He started eating and still looked at me listening intently, he was obviously feeling more comfortable around me. “I also know that I love your brother and I feel that we were meant to be together. We make each other better people and add so much to each other’s lives. I don’t know how any of that can be considered a sin worthy of eternity in hell.” I stopped for a minute hoping he would say something but he just kept eating, watching me, and waiting for more. “I also consider you, Brian, and Eli an unbelievable gift and am grateful for every day I get to have you in my life. I figure that I had to be doing something right to get that reward.” I stopped, dropped my fork on my plate with a clank and said “So there is my view on the universe. Thoughts?” I picked up my coffee and awaited his answer.

He smiled and said “That all makes sense. But I think you’re crazy if you think that Eli is a gift, if he is it’s a gag gift.” I laughed out loud at that, then he continued “Father would completely disagree and say the devil has given you a reprobate mind to justify your sin.” Uh oh, I thought, here comes the eternal damnation speech. “I think he’s wrong, but I really don’t know what’s right. All the gay people I’ve met here are more giving and kind than anyone from the church. They’re all real, not like the church people. Your friends help us and don’t expect anything in return. The church people only give when they want something from you.” He said thinking out loud.

I hadn’t expected to get into a deep discussion about religion with a sixteen year old, but there we were. “Okay, that’s an interesting statement. So… If god were living on earth as a human today, would he act more like the church people, or more like the gay people you’ve met?” I asked

“Wow” he said. “I hadn’t thought about that.” He took some time to really think about the question. I could see the wheels turning in his eyes as he likely recounted everything he had experienced over the past few months, “Um… I guess I have to say the gay people. They took in the stranger just like god would have wanted.”

“So, do you think god looks at who they love and sees it as so wrong that it makes all their other good actions worthless? In other words, if someone leads a good life, treats people well, puts others first without expecting anything in return, is that meaningless because of who they love or have sex with?”

He stared at me, took another forkful of his huge breakfast and with his mouth still full he said “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? That’s from The Bible, I think it’s in James.” He swallowed his food and sat there for a minute pondering what he had just said, “I think god wants us to do good things, be good people and put others first, that’s how we honor him.” After that we were silent for a while. Then Seth started talking about how school was going, he also talked a lot about his new friend Cam. For the first time since he got here we were having a normal conversation. Nothing forced. Nothing awkward. His personality was coming out. We finished breakfast and he said “Thanks for breakfast, and thanks for being honest with me.”

“You can talk to me and Brad about anything. We’re here to help you not judge you.” We got up and I left some cash on the table for the check and tip. I walked past Seth to head out the door and he flung his arms around me. No words were spoken, I teared up a little. When he let go we walked out and got in the car, Seth got in the driver’s seat again.

Sensing that he needed more than just a talk I offered “Do you want me to help you find a church? I’ll even go with you if you want.”

“You’d do that?” He asked with a very surprised look on his face.

“Yeah, but not your Father’s church” he laughed at that. “We can do some research online and ask around, we could even try a few different ones if you want to. I know Darren and Mauricio, Kev’s neighbors have a church that’s very accepting and they’ve been attending for years, maybe we could start there.”

“Really?” He said with an excitement in his voice. “I’d like that. Could we go tomorrow?”

“I’ll check out the times, do you mind if I ask Darren and Mauricio to come along with us?” I asked, “I’d feel better going with someone who’s familiar with the church.” He was fine with that. When we got home I went out in the yard to do some work. We had several projects going on and I had some digging to do in the front. Seth came out and helped, we talked while we worked, and for the rest of the afternoon we were joined at the hip. He was suddenly at ease around me. By the time Brad and the others came home we had dinner in the oven and were in the family room playing Fortnite, I handed the controls over to Eli when he walked in, and followed Brad into the bedroom.

“I had the best fucking day with Seth!” I said excitedly to him as he changed into his comfortable clothes.

Brad smiled big “That’s awesome! Did he open up to you?”

“Totally” I answered, and then went into a diatribe of all the things we talked about. I told him about Seth questioning his Father’s beliefs, abut his thoughts on gay people verses church people. He smiled as he listened and even laughed a couple of times, he seemed genuinely happy that Seth opened up to me. That is, until I came to the end of my diatribe and said “I told him I’d take him to church with Mauricio and Darren tomorrow, I called them and set it up.”

Brad went stoned-faced “No! Absolutely fucking not” He barked in an angry tone.

“No to what? Church?” I asked extremely surprised by his change in attitude.

“You’re damn right no to church!” he yelled just loud enough to make his point but not loud enough for the boys to hear us. “Religion fucking ruined my life and ripped my family apart. We’re not going through that shit again. What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He barked angrily at me. He had NEVER done that before.

I was totally caught off guard. I thought Brad would be happy that his brother was opening up and trying to figure things out for himself, I didn’t expect this. “Don’t you yell and swear at me. I was trying to do the right thing by your brother. The kid needs guidance and it’s our responsibility to give it to him.” I said getting more pissed with every word that came out of my mouth, then I added “you telling him that he can’t believe what he wants is no different than your father telling you that you have to believe as he does.” I ended with a loud “What the fuck is wrong with YOU?!” He shot me the coldest stare I had ever seen and stormed out of the bedroom. I just sat there trying to process what the fuck just happened. By the time I walked out of the bedroom Brad was gone. The boys said he went outside, I got out into the yard just in time to see his TT speeding away.

I went into the kitchen and finished dinner like nothing happened, the other guys didn’t need to worry about us fighting. I put everything on the table and called the boys in. They sat down and dug in. A few minutes into dinner Brian asked “Where’s Brad?”

“He ran a couple of errands” I said. We all continued to eat and no one brought it up again. After dinner they all crowded in front of the Xbox. I called Kevin and asked him to come over.

This was our first fight, and frankly I didn’t understand why Brad was so mad at me. I needed an outside perspective. in less than 10 minutes Kev and I were on the patio with our drinks in hand. I loved having him so nearby. I told him everything that happened. He listened and then tried to help me see things from Brad’s perspective.

“Listen, Brad blames religion for breaking up his family. All religion. In his mind you’re siding with religion, therefore against his family” Kevin said in a calm rational voice as he took a big gulp of his drink. But nothing was further from the truth, in fact I was trying to do the exact opposite. I was supporting the family by trying to help Seth. But in Brad’s head, I was siding with the enemy.

About a half hour into my conversation with Kev, Brad texted “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’m at The Resort. Meet me for a drink?” then he added a kissing emoji. His second text just said “I love you more than anything. Please forgive me.”

I showed it to Kev, he grabbed my phone and typed back “I love you too, Kev’s here and will drop me off in a few.”

“C’mon, let’s go make up with your husband” Kev said. We said goodbye to the boys who were so into their video games that they barely noticed, and we headed out the door. Kev dropped me off at The Resort and wished me luck. I walked in and said hi to all of the staff as I found my way to the bar. I had made friends with everyone since I started working there, What a great group of people.

Brad jumped off his barstool, threw his arms around me, and said “I am so fucking sorry. I love you so much.”

“Why the change in heart?” I said still stone-face and pissed off at him, “Two hours ago I was the fucking enemy.”

“I’m sorry. I’ve been sitting here thinking” he said. “You’ve never done anything but help me and my family. I know you love us all and have been on my side from day one. And you’re completely right about Seth. It’s our job to guide him and help him figure things out not dictate his beliefs, and if he needs to explore religion to do that, then we should help him sift through the bullshit. What he believes is not up to me… you’re right. I was acting just like my son of a bitch father.” He paused and looked at me with total sincerity in his eyes. “You’re an amazing guardian, and the perfect fucking husband.”

“I accept your apology, but I’m still pissed off at you for attacking me like that, You know damn well I’m not the enemy. And I’m still taking Seth to church tomorrow. Can you handle that?” I asked looking him square in the eye, not backing down from my position.

“I can. I actually think it’s a good idea. Seth obviously has some things to work out, I’m impressed that you were able to get so much out of him. You’re a good man Scotty Nicholls, and I love you.” Then Brad kissed me, right there in the bar. I just held him and didn’t say a word. “Do you love me too?” He asked with that grin.

“I do, but I’m still pissed off” I said trying to be tough, but inside I was melting. I knew he was going through a lot of shit and didn’t mean to go off on me, but I wasn’t going to let him off too easy.

“I texted Brian and told him we weren’t coming home tonight. I got us a room.” Brad whispered into my ear and kissed me gently. I gave in and kissed him back. We went from a gentle apology kiss to a full on, hard passionate lust-filled make out session in the middle of the bar. We were starting to draw attention from the other bar patrons. ‘’C’mon, let’s not waste a perfectly good room” He said as he produced a room card from his pocket and held it up for me to see.

Brad pulled me by the hand, almost running to our room. He didn’t get us a jacuzzi suite or anything fancy, just a regular room overlooking the pool. It was Saturday night and there was undoubtedly scads of hot guys by the pool, but I didn’t care. There was only one hot guy I was interested in and he had me pinned up against the door the second it closed and was tearing my clothes off.

I was wearing a linen button down and linen shorts. He undid each button as he pushed his lips hard against mine. When he was done with the shirt he pushed it off my shoulders and started to fumble with my shorts. He undid the drawstring and yanked them down to my ankles. I stepped out of my shoes and shorts. Brad was still fully clothed as I stood there naked and vulnerable.

He took a step back and in a deep, sultry voice he said “My god you are such a beautiful man.” Then his face got more serious “you are truly the total package. You’re beautiful, built like a fucking brick shit house, and your heart is solid fucking gold. You have changed my life so much. I love you.” His lust was replaced with emotion.

I loved him so much, but if I am being one hundred percent honest… I was still in full-on lust mode “Show me. Show me how much you fucking love me Brad Nicholls” I growled as I grabbed the collar of his pink polo and pulled his face to mine. “I love you. You are my everything. Don’t you ever doubt my intentions again” I said in a stern but playful tone. Our lips found each other and I shoved my tongue so hard and deep into his mouth that it tickled his throat and he pulled back to cough a little. I just shot him a devilish smile.

“Damn” was all he could say as he leaned back in for more. After several minutes of me being pinned up against the door he led me over to the bed and gently pushed me down onto my stomach. He reached into the night stand and pulled out a few little bottles of lotion “Tonight is all about you. I’m going to give you a massage” he said as he pulled me up by my waist so he could position one pillow under my stomach.

“All about me?” I said with a contented smile “I like that plan.” He leaned down and kissed my neck. Then he took off his shirt and shorts. Clad in nothing but a pair of black, sexy silk briefs he got on his knees and straddled me, resting his silk-covered ass on my bare cheeks as he poured some lotion into his hands and rubbed them together to warm it up. He placed his slick hands on my shoulders and started to rub the lotion into my warm skin. It felt fucking awesome. Brad’s hands were amazing! He was firm but gentle and his warm hands soothed my muscles and sent a cool chill through me at the same time. I wiggled my ass a little in an attempt to make room for my ever-growing manhood. My movements obviously stimulated Brad as I felt his cock hardening and he pushed it harder against me. I pushed back and soon we were basically dry humping with the thin layer of silk keeping me from feeling his warm flesh. “Take those off” I mumbled as I reached back and touched his silky briefs. He pushed up and wriggled around pulling his briefs from his body, then he sat back down on my ass with his cock resting in my ass crack. Fuck the warmth felt awesome and I got so fucking hard at its touch.

“Are you relaxing?” Brad asked in a quiet voice.

“Some muscles are relaxing, others are tensing up” I said as I pushed my ass up against his hard, hot man flesh, he pushed back as he leaned forward and continues to massage the lotion into my back. It all felt so good, his weight on me, the warmth of his hands caressing my body. It was nice to just be there in this intimate moment with the man I loved.

“Scotty,” Brad said in a very quiet voice as he moved his hips, rubbing himself up and down my slick crack. “I feel awful about yelling at you. If it wasn’t for you my family wouldn’t be together. Any other guy would’ve dumped my ass the second my father hauled me off.” I didn’t respond other than the occasional pleasure noise, I just lay there and listened to him. “You made sure they found me. You made sure I was safe. You made sure we would be together. You opened your heart to my family.” I could hear his voice crackling a bit with emotion as he continued, “I don’t know what the fuck I did to deserve you, but I will do my damnedest to make you happy the rest of your life.”

In response to his outpouring, I wriggled around and moved on to my back. We were now face to face with our hard cocks grinding in to each other. “You make me happy every fucking day, Brad.” I said as I reached up to stroke his face, “Things won’t always be perfect, we’ll piss each other off, we’ll say stupid shit… but none of that lessens our devotion. I know your heart and you know mine. I couldn’t be happier.”

I pushed up to grind my cock into his and we started frotting . His manhood felt hot against mine, and the pleasure he was giving me was euphoric. Our movements became harder and more deliberate almost as though our penises where trying to fuck each other. Brad grabbed the lotion and applied more to both our cocks. After another minute or so he lifted his hips and pushed his manhood beneath my balls and against my tight pucker. He pushed trying to enter me, I pushed back doing my damnedest to ensure his success.

Finally my ass opened up and welcomed his familiar cock. He pushed in steadily and with purpose, deeper and deeper until his balls hit my ass. My legs were against my chest and my knees were bent over his shoulders. He leaned in and kissed me, holding his length all the way in me. We kissed for a bit but I needed more. I pushed and pulled my ass trying to signal him to fuck me… he got the message. He started moving in and out of me, slowly, steadily, purposefully. All the way out, then all the way in. My moaning was begging him for more and my cock grew even more rigid as he hit my prostate over and over.

I reached in between us to stroke myself but he slapped my hand away “this is all about you” Brad said as he used his slick hand to stroke my cock in rhythm with our fucking. My head was moving side to side until he steadied it with his lips and tongue. He was fucking me hard, stroking my quickly and exploring my mouth with his tongue.

I tried to scream “FUCK I’M CUMMING” and it turned into a mumble that got lost in our passionate kiss, but he knew what I wanted. His motions quickened as he pressed my legs harder against my chest, his tongue deeper down my throat and his beautiful, rigid cock deeper into my ass. My cock exploded between us, stream after pulsating stream of hot cum shot out hitting my chin, my chest, even Brad’s lips. He lapped up as much of my cream as he could as he pistoned in and out faster and faster final shooting his warm man batter deep inside me.

His sweat dripped down on me and his intoxicating scent filled the room as his body began to slow down and his cock began to soften. He collapsed on top of me, then rolled over and lay next to me. “Oh. My. God.” He said panting heavily between each word. We both put our hands behind our heads and looked up at the ceiling as we tried to catch our breath. Nothing more was said and we drifted off to sleep. Make up sex was awesome!!!

We awoke at about 7:30AM and took a quick shower. “Mauricio and Darren are picking up me and Seth at 8:45 for church” I said as Brad brushed his teeth with the little brush the desk sent up. They said there’s a fellowship afterwards, I think it would be good for Seth. Then we’ll meet you, Kev, Randy, and the boys, if they want to come, at the Café’ around 11:00 for brunch. Cool?”

“Cool” he said through his mouth full of toothpaste, then spit. “I know you hate organized religion, this is a good thing you’re doing for Seth.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. I know your feelings on religion too. But you know, faith can be a good thing when it’s not abused or used as a weapon, and I think Seth needs something to believe in right now” I responded. Brad agreed and we finished getting dressed.

We got to the house just in time for me to put on some more “church appropriate attire.” Brian was already at work, and Seth was all ready to go. He invited Brad and Eli to join us and was met with a couple of cold stares… he got the answer he expected. Mauricio and Darren pulled up right on time and we hopped into the back seat.

“Good morning babies” Mauricio said “Ready to get your prayer on?”

Seth thanked them for bringing us along. The church was about ten minutes away and the service was not at all as I expected. It wasn’t all God, Jesus, and hellfire. It was all about fellowship and treating your fellow man with respect. The readings weren’t from the Bible, they were both poems about love and respect, and the fellowship afterwards was just socializing with like-minded people. These church people were not stuffy, nor did they want anything from anyone.

“So, what did you think, Seth?” Darren asked from the driver’s seat on the way to the café for brunch.

“The preacher didn’t have all the answers. She just talked to us all like people who were trying to figure it out together. I liked that, it made me feel less alone” he said. He lived in a house with five people and still felt alone. Fuck that hurt my heart. I made a note of that. “I’d like to go back again”

“You’re welcome to join us anytime” Mauricio said. I saw him and Darren both smiling at him in the rearview mirror. “We went to a lot of churches before we found one where we felt welcome. I’m glad you came with us.” We pulled up to the café and went inside to join the others who were already there. Eli stayed at home, but Brad, Randy and Kev were at the table waiting for the four of us. Brian had left cups for us and a pot of coffee.

“So? What did you think?” Kev asked Seth.

“I loved the message” Seth said without hesitation “What the preacher and the readings all said was basically…” He looked up thoughtfully as he poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot. “… treat others well and don’t be an ass.” We all laughed, he seemed surprised at our response, he was dead serious.

“That’s pretty much what that church is all about” Darren confirmed. “Good people.”

“It’s important to know there are other people who think like you do” Kev offered up.

Seth looked at us all with a thoughtful expression as if he was about to speak. Then he hesitated and took a sip of coffee. Then he looked to make sure Brian was out of earshot and said “I like Cam as more than a friend and he likes me. I think I’m gay and I just want to believe god doesn’t hate me.”

The six of us looked on in silence, our hearts going out to this sweet, innocent kid. He was dealing with way more than any of us knew.

To be continued…