Adulting

Brad’s story

The next few weeks were insane! We met with the contractors and learned that the renovations we wanted to do were realistic and most of the work could be done up front before we moved in. Based on the rough estimates, we made and official offer. It was a low offer and we went back and forth a few times but by Tuesday we had an accepted offer. Everything was in motion, our closing date was a week away and we were hoping to move in a few weeks later, maybe sooner. We were going to get some of the big projects done before we moved, but the little stuff could wait if it had to. Meanwhile my siblings and I had waged war on our parents.

It took almost three weeks, but we finally got word that we had been granted temporary guardianship of Eli and Seth and had legal approval to take them out of state. Thank god for Pops because most of the legal details were over my head, and if we had to pay a lawyer to do what he did, we’d be broke. Once we got word, we pushed hard to close on the house and were debating moving in while it was under construction. Kev and Randy talked us out of that saying it would be hell trying to live in a construction zone with three teenagers. They also offered up their place as a back-up. If we needed extra room we could send a couple people over there. Our plan was to pack us all into the condo, but if that didn’t work, it was nice to have a Plan B.

It was a Friday morning and we packed up the VW before dawn. Brian and I hit the road to Texas. After a lot of discussion and argument we decided that Scotty would stay home and Brian and I would hit the road. It was important to Brian that he be part of this. Pop wasn’t thrilled that it was just the two of us, he felt that made us more vulnerable to any manipulation our father may try. My father was still in custody, but he definitely had contacts on the outside working to protect his interests and those of the church. It was very telling how “lawyered-up” the church was. Apparently our story was far from the first one. And my Mom… she was an emotional mess. Theresa and Mary talked to her after I did but she refused to change her mind. Instead, she doubled down by trying to defend my father’s actions. It was quiet little Mary that final just told her “Then we’re done, mother. If you don’t love your kids enough to protect them, then you don’t deserve them. We love them and will keep them safe.” Mary rarely spoke up but this time she was heard.

Scotty got up early to say goodbye, we even made love in the shower before I left. We hadn’t really been apart since my abduction and damn I was going to miss him. I know he really wanted to go with us and was very afraid of what we might find when we got to Texas. No one involved expected things to go smoothly once we got there. After all… this was war. The one silver lining in all this was that I got to spend several hours in the car with Bri. We’d been living together for over a month, but really hadn’t had the opportunity to just talk and be brothers. By 4AM the VW was loaded up and we were on the road to Texas.

As soon as we hit the highway Bri hooked his phone up to the Bluetooth and started blasting The Pet Shop Boys. I laughed out loud… Scotty was definitely having an influence on him. “So, how’s everything going, Bri?” I asked as I drove.

He turned the radio down a bit. “I’m really doing good, Brad.” Bri said in between muttering the words of West End Girls to himself. “I really love living with you guys, I like my jobs and feel good about helping out with groceries and the mortgage… I feel like I’m in charge of my future” he kept listing all the things that were good in his life, “I’m making friends and I can’t wait to start college.”

I smiled huge as I continued to drive. Damn, it was so nice to see him happy. Now to get Eli and Seth to the same place. “I’m so excited about Eli and Seth coming to stay with us” I said.

Bri turned to look at me and lit up “Me too. I hope Pop can make it so they can stay permanently.”

“Me too. You know, this isn’t gonna be easy, Bud” I said. “We’re taking the guys away from mom. I know she’s upset, and I have no clue how Eli and Seth feel about it.”

“That’s bull, Brad!” Bri said “We’re not taking Eli and Seth away from mother! CPS already did it because she didn’t protect them, just like she didn’t protect us! Now we’re giving them a better option than foster care.” Brian surprised me, he had always defended my mom. “I used to just blame father for everything, but when she didn’t try to stop him from taking me or abducting you… that was it for me. I’m done giving her a pass. Maybe she could’ve stopped him, but we’ll never know because she didn’t even try.” I had no clue he felt that way. I felt the same way. I did my best to give her the benefit of the doubt for a very long time, but when I called her a couple of weeks ago and asked her to choose between him and us. That was the end of it. Brian was right, she made her choice.

We talked a little longer and then Brian fell asleep in the passenger seat. I kept driving us towards our destination as I listened to all of Scotty’s favorite music. It made me miss him a little less. Every once in a while I’d look over at Brian sleeping. He was so young and innocent, yet had been through so much. It got me to thinking about Eli and Seth. Hell, I had no clue what they thought about all this. They were just kids when father cut me out of their lives, did they even want to leave home and come live with me?! I had no clue. I started to panic a little, just then Bri woke up.

“Hey” He said groggily “How long was I asleep?”

“Long enough for us to cross into New Mexico” I said.

“Thanks for letting me sleep” Bri responded.

“Hey Bri, do you think Eli and Seth will be happy about coming to live with us?” I asked him.

He thought for a minute “Well, I know Eli definitely will be, he fears father as much as I did. We used to talk about leaving home together all the time.”

“And Seth?” I asked.

“I dunno. Seth is still a kid and wants to please father. I think he still buys into a lot of his bull.” Brian said.

“Are we doing the right thing?” I asked. “I’ve been so focused on getting them out of there that it never occurred to me to find out what they wanted. Hell, I haven’t even spoken to either of them in over two and a half years. What if they don’t want to come? What if we’re forcing them into something they don’t want to do?”

“Are you serious?” Brian said. “You know what it’s like living there. You know what he’s like. You know they’re not safe there. You just want to give them a chance at a decent life, like you did for me.”

“I hope you’re right” is all I could say.

“I am. AND SO ARE YOU! This is a good thing we’re doing” Brian said sounding like a reasonable, rational adult man, then we just drove in silence for a while. “Why don’t we stop for gas and breakfast, then I’ll drive for a while. Scotty said I could drive the new car” he said sounding like a kid again. God, I loved this little guy. All I could think was how lucky I was that he was in my life again, and soon my other two brothers would join us. He was right. This IS a good thingI thought to myself as I exited the freeway.

I called Scotty as I gassed up the VW. He was excited to hear from us. “Hey, the second we got into the car Bri blasted Pet Shop Boys, and the 90’s music hasn’t taken a break since… you did that!”

Scotty laughed out loud “See, I’m a good influence on him. How’s the trip going?”

“We’re in New Mexico and stopped for gas and breakfast. I was having serious second thoughts about all this. What if the boys don’t want to come? What if their better off with mom? What will this do to her? All that kind of stuff and…” Scotty interrupted my ramble.

“Your motivated by doing what’s best for Eli and Seth. It’s the right thing!” Scotty said reassuring me.

“I know. Bri actually got me back on track” I said.

“God I love that kid. I miss you both. It was so fucking quiet here getting ready for work. I called Kev and I’m going to eat with them tonight just to have some human contact.” Scotty said.

I laughed “Oh shut up. You should be enjoying the quiet, it’s gonna be chaos when we get back.” We talked a little longer as I finished filling the tank. Bri and I grabbed breakfast across the street from the gas station, then hit the road with Brian behind the wheel. The next several hours actually flew by as we talked and laughed. We even called the girls from the Bluetooth. They made us promise to call back once we had the boys.

It was past 11PM when we rolled into town. We got a hotel and were meeting CPS at noon the next day. We were getting up early and going to see our father at the holding facility (that’s a nice way of saying jail), and then going to see mother to see if she would allow us to pick up the boys belongings. If not, we’d deal with it. Brian also had several things of his own he wanted to take so we had packed boxes and tape in the car before we left Phoenix. We had a long day ahead and a long day behind so we hit the beds and both passed out when our heads hit the pillows.

We woke early, got showered and dressed, then headed to breakfast. Over breakfast we talked about our plan. I would do most of the talking with father, and Bri would be my back-up. At the house I would talk to mother and Bri would go upstairs and pack whatever he could. After a solid breakfast we were ready for battle.

We sat in the parking lot of the jail for a few minutes just breathing and getting up our nerve. We had to go through scanning and security before they took our phones and led us to a small room. We sat there for about fifteen minutes before they walked our father in. All he knew is that he had visitors, he didn’t know who. “Well, the prodigal sons return. I assume you’ve finally come to your senses and are here to bail me out.” He said with a smug grin.

When I saw him my heart dropped into my stomach and I felt a little sick. I hadn’t seen him in two and a half years. Throughout the entire abduction ordeal he avoided contact with me; Two others grabbed me and knocked me out, by the time I gained consciousness I was in the hospital. I never even saw him. His face was as smug and evil as I remembered. The fear started to come back, but I stuffed deep down inside. I had a job to do. I was here to help my brothers. “No. We’re here to let you know that we are taking Eli and Seth out of foster care and away from here” I said in a strong confident voice.

His stern face dropped and the smug grin fell from his face “you can’t do that!” he yelled loud enough to get the guard to step toward us and ask if we were okay.

“We can and we are. The judge already signed off on it” I said. “I can’t watch them live in fear like the rest of us did.”

He reacted violently and barked back “When I get out I’m coming for them. I will…”

“You will do nothing!” I said loudly pounding my fist on the table. “We have crossed all the T’s and dotted all the i’s to make sure we have legal guardianship. I will continue to fight and hold this thing up in the courts until they both turn eighteen and you can no longer claim them as your property.” I said with complete resolve.

“But your mother…” He barked back and Bri cut him off.

“My mother made her choice! She chose your insanity over her own kids welfare. She made her choice, now she can deal with the consequences. Isn’t that your thing father? Consequences for actions.” Brian said sternly with a cold stare. Father was actually silent. Brian rendered him speechless.

“YOUR actions landed the boys in foster care. We came here to tell you that your kids will be safe and taken care of. As a parent, we hope you appreciate that fact. That’s all we have to say. We wish you and mother well.” I said matter-of-factly with a calmness in my voice. With that, we signaled the guard that we were ready to go.

As the guard was escorting him out the door, father turned back and said “Please take care of them and yourselves.” There was a tone of defeat in his voice, and it was the most human he had seemed to me in well over a decade. Brian and I left the facility and just sat in the car breathing for a minute. We called the girls, Scotty, and Mom and Pop on speaker phone to tell them about our visit and let them know we were okay. They made us promise to call them after our visit with mother, and before we picked up the boys so they could get the scoop.

We parked in front of the house and I reached for the handle to open the door. Brian put his hand on my thigh “Wait!” He said “Before we go in, I just want to tell you that I think you’re a good man, Brad.” Brian was looking me in the eye and had a very serious look on his face.

“Thank you Brian, I think you’re a good ma too.” I responded.

“I mean it, Brad. You could’ve turned me away. You could have walked away from Seth and Eli. You could have ignored the situation and went on to have a happy calm, life with Scotty. But you didn’t. You fought for us. I want you to know I will never forget what you’ve done for me.” We hugged each other tightly.

“I never really considered the other options. I just wanted my family to be safe and happy.” I whispered in his ear.

“And that’s what makes you a good man.” He said. I almost cried, but there was no time for tears. We had to go face our mother. He broke our embrace and walked toward the house. Before we even got halfway to the house the door opened, and there stood mother.

My blood ran cold as Brian and I kept moving forward with a purposeful stride. Then something happened that I did NOT expect. She came towards us and hugged us “I’m so happy to see both. You look wonderful. I missed you both so much.” Then she tousled Brian’s hair and said “I like your new haircut, it makes you look more mature.” CPS had spoken with her and she knew why we were there but she still seemed happy. “Come in.”

I was a little caught off guard, I had not expected to be welcomed, in fact I expected tears and a fight. “We’re here to pick up the boys things. Can Brian go up to their room get their stuff together?” I asked

“It’s all right there, boxed up. Including your stuff Brian” She responded pointing to a bunch of boxes in the corner. “Please, can we just talk? I made lemonade.” Brian and I exchanged glances. This is not what we expected. “Listen boys, I know he’s not stable. You’re all better off away from him and I’m happy the boys are going to live with you Brad. I know they’ll be loved and cared for.” She said as she led us to the kitchen table to sit. We sat on one side with her on the other.

“Why are you staying” I asked with a little desperation in my voice. SHE KNOWS! She’s aware that he’s nuts, yet she exposed her kids to it and she’s staying. I didn’t get it at all.

“If I leave, he’s done.” She said “He would lose his mind completely, and frankly Probably lose control and I fear the violence. He can be mean and sadistic. But I know the man I fell in love with is in there somewhere.” Her voice was sad but resolved “He needs me.”

Brian spoke up for the second time today “We needed you” He said loudly, looking her straight in the eyes. “We needed you to keep him from coming into our rooms and smacking us around for minor infractions to his rules. We needed you to keep that sadistic nut from taking our big brother away. We needed you to keep him from drugging us, kidnapping us, and throwing us in church basements to repent for things that weren’t even wrong!” His face was stoic and his voice grew louder and louder until he was almost yelling at her “We needed you to be a mother… and you just stood by and let it all happen.” He stopped talking and just stared at her waiting for some kind of explanation.

She just sat there looking down at her glass of lemonade. She was silent for a moment then she said “I’m not strong like you kids.” Then she put some sugar in her glass and stirred. He used to be a wonderful husband and great father. We loved each other and we loved you kids. We were so happy.” She reminisced with melancholy in her voice. “You kids were young when he joined that church (she said the words with disdain) and decided he was the king of the castle and we were all here to serve him.” She finally looked up at us “He had other women and everyone knew, it was humiliating. But what was I going to do? Leave him and support six kids without a job or any skills? So I stayed hoping thigs would get better.” Through her entire confession her face showed no emotion, she was just telling the story. “I was too weak to fight him, and I thought it was best for all of us if we stayed here where we had a roof over us and food in our bellies. I thought I could keep him away from you. I failed.” Her head dropped in remorse, and tears started forming. Brian and I were both speechless, we didn’t know what to say. The woman was baring her soul. “Now, you two and the girls are grown and Seth and Eli are almost adults… it’s time for you all to move on. I made my own bed.” She was living with the realization that she failed her children.

We just sat here looking at this defeated woman not knowing what to say or do. “You can come with us mom” I said.

She gave a weak smile “No. My place is here. The court ordered therapy for him, I’m hoping I can get my husband back” I think she knew that was a pipe dream. She took a deep breath, looked up and said “Please tell me about where you all will be living. I want to know.”

We talked things over with Pop earlier and at this point, there’s not much value in hiding too much. The courts would ultimately tell her. We had to trust she would keep it from father. I prefaced my statement with “Please don’t tell him or let him try to find us” and she promised. “Brian has been living with me and Scotty in my Condo. It’s small, but nice. We’re in the process of buying a bigger house where we’ll have room for everyone. We should be moving in a few weeks” I said.

“Scotty? Who’s that?” she asked as she sipped her lemonade.

I inhaled and said “My husband.” Her eyes popped open, she had no clue I had someone in my life, much less a spouse.

She looked at me thoughtfully and asked “is he a good man?”

“He’s one of the best!” Brian said “He took me in without even thinking about it. He gave me his car, he helped me find a job, his family treats us like their own.” He was babbling and gushing singing Scotty’s praises. I couldn’t help but smile and choke up a little.

“He sounds wonderful. I’m glad you found someone good.” She said with sincerity. “Do you have a picture?” I pulled out my phone and scrolled through picture of the three of us we’d taken over the weeks. Our wedding, hanging by the pool at Kev’s, Scotty’s family, the girls at the reception, Brian and his new car, Brian at work at the café… all of it. I hadn’t even realized I had taken so many pics of us, but I guess the happy moments just coming and I instinctively recorded them.

Tears were rolling down mom’s cheeks as she realized how much she was missing. “I wish I could leave him, but I can’t.” She said and it was clear there was no talking her out of it. “I hope you won’t cut me out of your lives. Please send me pictures. Please call. Maybe I could even visit.” She said starting to sob. “I promise to keep him away.” I got up and walked around the table, she stood up and we embraced as Brian came up from behind her. She was sandwiched in between her two eldest sons as we stood there hugging and sobbing.

“We will Momma. We will keep in touch” I said. After a good ten minutes of hugging we wiped our tears and started loading up the VW to head back to Phoenix. We had to tie some of the boxes to the roof and cover them with an old camping tarp we found in the garage. As we were getting ready to leave, mom asked if she could see Seth and Eli before they left. Pop had told me that any contact with her was up to me as the guardian. We agreed to meet for a late lunch after we picked them up and before we hit the road. Then she handed me an envelope with a phone number written on the front. “What’s this?” I asked with a look of confusion on my face.

“A cashier’s check for $10,367.52. It’s the money you had in your joint bank account. The money you saved for college and your father took when he found out you were gay. I put it aside for you. You’ll need it now.” She said with a weak smile on her face. “And that number is my new cell phone. Your father doesn’t know about it yet and when he finds out, well it’s too damn bad.” She smiled trying to look strong for us. “Send me pictures. Lots of pictures. And call me. A LOT please.” Don’t let my kids forget me, Brad. Please” She said with sad eyes that begged for my mercy.

“You keep him away from us and I promised you that your kids will keep in touch” I promised. With an arm around her I kissed her on the head.

“I’m sorry it’s come to this. I truly do love you all” She said through her tears.

“I love you too mom” I said as Brian approach.

“I love you too mom” He said. I left them to talk as I walked over to the car to make sure everything was tied down. Mom walked Brian to the car and we said our goodbyes promising to meet her for lunch. We drove away, and as soon as we turned the corner I pulled the car over and started to cry. Brian did too. We reached for each other over the console and hugged tightly. After about a minute we got Scotty on the phone.

He answered before the first ring was complete “Hey! How did it go?” He asked

“I love you” is all I could say.

Then Brian piped in “I love you too Scotty!”

Scotty chuckled and said “I love you guys so much. I miss you both. Get back here!” Then we conferenced the rest of the family in and Brian and I told the story together. I could hear the girls sobbing, then they asked for mom’s number. Pop warned us all to be careful but didn’t try to stop us. He knew it was futile.

We hung up the phone as we pulled up to the address that CPS had given us and parked the car. Before the car doors were open Eli and Seth were running out to the car yelling out names. Eli came right to me and hugged and Seth ran right to Brian. They hugged us tight as if trying to squeeze the life out of us. It was so awesome to see them again. It was overwhelming.

The foster couple Jude and Marta slowly approached us, letting us have our moment. They introduced themselves and invited us in. They were wonderful people. Apparently the majority of the kids they took in were teenagers, and MANY of them from the church. We ended up sitting on the porch and talking for a while. They were extremely interested in where the boys would be going and seemed happy they were with family. They didn’t blink when they found out I was gay. They wanted to see pictures of the condo and the house and had a lot of questions. I was happy to see how concerned they were… they obviously had my brothers’ best interests at heart. The boys had their bags packed and after about an hour we left. The boys hugged and thanked the couple, it was obvious they were treated well while in their care. When we got in the car we told the boys about lunch with mom and they seemed happy to be able to see her. Lunch went well, it was quiet but tearful and I think it gave mom the closure she needed. Seth was reluctant to leave her, but he understood what had to happen. That was it. An emotionally draining morning and now the four of us were together and ready to hit the road.

“Here’s the plan boys” I said “We’re going to drive until about 6:00, then find a hotel, eat, sleep and up at the crack of dawn to make the rest of the trip to Phoenix.”

“Can we find a hotel with a pool?” Seth asked

“We’ll try” I responded smiling at him in the rearview mirror.

“The condo has a pool” Brian said and then broke into a long diatribe about life in Phoenix, the condo, the new house, his jobs, the Subaru, EVERYTHING! That included Scotty.

“Who’s Scotty?” They both wanted to know.

“Brad’s husband” Brian said without hesitation. The two little innocent, sheltered boys looked at me in disbelief.

“Men have wives” Seth said with a look of innocent confusion on his face. This was going to be a very educational trip.

To be continued…