Adulting

Dealing with your sexual orientation is different for everyone. Some ignore it and don’t deal with it. Some have the support of friends and family. Some deal with it through experimentation. Some have no issues with it and just go on. There is no one way.

This story is about two recent college graduates trying to find their place in the world and come to grips with their sexuality. They’re both hesitant to come out for very different reasons, and approach it in completely different ways. One is a self-loathing closet case who is trying to love himself while filling the void with sex. The other, a seemingly confident, lovable guy on the outside but afraid that coming out will change him. The friends support each other as they make the transition from frat boys to gay adults. This story explores their coming out stories and the stories of some of the other gay people in their lives.

To learn more about Chip, Scotty (AKA Whoops) and some of the other characters mentioned in this story, read “Exploring My True Self.” The main characters of this story are introduced in chapter 24. 

CHAPTER 1 - Chip’s Story 

Man, these guys have it all. Look at this place. and this view!I thought to myself as I floated in the shimmering pool, Bloody Mary in-hand overlooking the desert hills. My roommate’s brother just married his partner yesterday. It was my first gay wedding and it really opened my eyes. Here are two guys that aren’t afraid to be who they are. I wish I could do that.

Scotty’s brother and his husband are perfect in every way. They’re both incredibly hot, are constantly surrounded by hot friends and have no hang-ups about sex. They openly enjoy each other’s bodies and obviously love each other. They have incredible careers, and just started a new company together… and this fucking house. It’s beautiful, and the views are breathtaking. It really made me think. I mean, Scotty said Kevin just came out of the closet like a year ago and look at him now. It gives me some hope that I can get through this too.

I’m just a scared closet case. Scotty’s my best friend and roommate. We just graduated last year and now we live together In Denver. I came out to him last year after we visited his brother at Thanksgiving. Well, more like showed up uninvited and took over their Holiday than visited. Me, Scotty, and our frat brothers Kenny and Ryan were out partying and decided to take a road trip from Colorado to Phoenix. Now that I think of it…we did the same thing to their wedding. We just showed up and turned it into a long weekend. But they welcomed us, that’s just how they are. Anyway, I had a little fun with Scotty’s brothers and their friends at Thanksgiving last year, so I figured I’d better tell him I was gay…you know…just in case it came up in discussion. Controlling the information is one of the hardest parts of coming out, once you lose control of the information… everyone tells everyone. The Rumors flow and BAM! You’re out. But Scotty’s the only one who knows. Well, not the ONLY one I guess. His brothers and their friends obviously know, and then there’s Kenny, my former frat brother he knows. But that’s only because I was his cum dump for almost four years until we graduated. Kenny’s hot! About 6’ tall, a lean 180 pounds, toned and a nice, tight six-pack. His light brown skin, curly hair, and brown bedroom eyes melted me. He calls himself “straight”, yet he never seemed to miss a chance to crawl into my bed and demand a blowjob or invade my ass with his veiny, uncut cock when he struck out at the bars. He may be an asshole, but he’s a good fuck and he keeps his mouth shut. But I’m not a dumb frat-bro anymore and I want something more. I’m an adult and I want the things that go along with being an adult. That includes an adult relationship.

Scotty and his family are at the resort having brunch. Kenny, Ryan and I stayed behind so they could have some family time, it’s the least we could do since crashed the wedding uninvited. Ryan and Kenny are still sleeping, so I’ve pretty much got the place to myself and I’m enjoying the hell out of it. This is the fucking life.

“HEY CHIP!” Kenny yelled as he did a cannonball into the pool interrupting the peacefulness and almost turning over my floatie.

“What the fuck, Kenny?!” I yelled struggling to stay on top of the lounger and keep from dumping my drink in the pool. He came up from under the water and grabbed my chair, steadying me as he shook the water from his brown curls. His face really was beautiful.

“Chill out, you’re on vacation. Where is everybody?” He asked

“They’re all at a family brunch at the resort with the happy couple. It’s just the three of us. Where’s Ryan?” I asked

“He’s passed out. How about a blowjob and quick fuck for old times sake?” Kenny crudely said looking at me with those eyes.

“No fucking way. Ryan could wake up anytime and catch us” I protested.

“Nah, he’s out cold, you know him, he’s not getting up anytime soon” He said as he rubbed my crotch through my trunks, “C’mon. You know you want it. I’ll even blow you this time.” I knew that was total bullshit. Kenny only sucked my dick once in four years, and that was because I pretty much forced him to do it.

“That’s bullshit, you just wanna dump and go like always” I said, “you don’t give a fuck if I get off or not.”

“So? You know you love my big cock. C’mon man, it’s been months since I fucked that tight ass.” He was still stroking my dick and looking at me with those eyes begging for my ass. He started pushing my floatie towards the edge of the pool. “C’mon” He said as he jumped out of the pool and started pulling me out with him.

“Okay, okay, but this time you’re gonna blow me too” I said as a huge mischievous grin took over his face. He got what he wanted. He moved over to one of the loungers by the pool, still soaking wet, dropped his trunks, and laid down. As soon as I got to his side he grabbed me by the back of the head and forced me down to his cock. He was already stiff as a board

“Yeah, suck that big brown cock” he said pushing the veiny piece of flesh down my throat until I gagged on it. “All the way down, swallow that fucking cock, you know you missed it faggot.” Kenny liked to name call and denigrate me during sex. Frankly, I think it was his way of coping with his own homosexuality. I could relate. I used self-loathing to cope with mine. “Yeah, you little cocksucker. Can’t get enough. You missed my cock.”

As much as it killed me to admit it, I did miss his cock. Well, maybe not HIS cock, more like any cock. Since Scotty and I moved to Denver I’ve been so focused on my new job and playing straight at work that the only action I’ve gotten in the last five months is from my right hand. His cock felt and tasted awesome. The ribbed texture of its veins as they went down my throat, the taste of his precum as he pulled his shaft out leaving just his bulbous head resting on my tongue before he slammed back down my throat… all of it! I missed sex. I was zoning out on his cock, working it with my mouth and hand oblivious to the world around me when I felt a “SLAP” sting my cheek.

“Yeah, ya’ little queer suck it. Show me you deserve to suck my cock.” He said in a throaty whisper as his hand held my head tightly to his crotch, keeping his dick planted deep down his throat as his brown curly pubes tickled my nose. I could feel the scruff on my face rub against his thighs. I couldn’t breathe, and he didn’t give a fuck. This was all about Kenny getting what he wanted. It always was.

Suddenly he slapped me hard again and yanked me off his cock by my blonde shaggy hair. It felt as though he was trying to rip it out of my fucking head. “Time to fuck” he said as he stood up and forced me onto the lounge chair, face down with my bubble butt up in the air for easy access. One quick glob of spit is the only lube my tight pucker got before he pushed his middle finger all the way in. I started to scream, and he immediately slapped my face with his free hand then used it to cover my mouth. It had been awhile since I was with Kenny, I forgot how rough and degrading sex with him could be, but today he was a little extra rough. My face stung, and my ass was sore from the rude invasion of his dry finger.

“You’re ready” He said without asking my opinion as he shoved his big brown uncut cock up my ass. One huge, deep thrust with no lube and it fucking hurt like hell. I screamed into his hand. He stopped to let my passage adjust to his manhood. That was the one and only kindness he showed me. He let out a moan of pleasure as he basked in the tightness of my ass. My sphincter grabbed him tight like a vice as he slowly started to pull out. The pain was subsiding only to be intensified a second later as he shoved his cock all the way back in until his balls slapped against my ass crack. It was almost like he was trying to push those in too. He started pumping in and out of me, slower at first but then faster. Harder. Rougher. With every thrust. It hurt like hell, but at the same time it felt good to have someone touch me, want me, even if it was for all the wrong things and all the wrong reasons. For a few seconds I didn’t feel so alone.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably less than two minutes, Kenny leaned over and grunted into my ear “Take my load faggot. Thank me for my cum.” I just stayed there face down, ass up and took it “I said thank me faggot” he repeated as he smacked my ass extremely hard.

“Thank you for you cum. Please give it to me” I said involuntarily as I felt his warm cum fill me and felt his sweat dripping on my back. Then he pulled out as abruptly as he entered me smacking my ass again as he exited. He immediately pulled his trunks back on.

I rolled over onto my back with my ignored seven inches sticking straight up and said, “my turn.”

Kenny just sneered and snickered and said “In your dreams cum dump. Cover yourself faggot” then slapped my face hard and started to walk away.

Suddenly someone came running from the house and grabbed Kenny, shoving him face first onto the nearest table. “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL HIM?” It was Scotty. He had come home early with breakfast for us when he saw Kenny slap me. He dropped everything and ran to my rescue. Kenny was stunned. Scotty repeated “I ASKED YOU… WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL HIM?” Scotty was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, but you didn’t want him on your bad side. He had a muscular little body standing at about 5’8” and about 180 pounds of muscle.

Kenny mumbled something into the lounge cushion. I don’t know if he was repeating what he said or begging for mercy. It didn’t matter “Apologize” Scotty said with a fury in his voice “NOW!”

“I…I..I’m sorry, Chip” Kenny stammered out with confusion and fear on his face. Scotty appeared so fast that didn’t know what the fuck hit him.

“Don’t you EVER talk to him like that again or I will beat the living shit out of you. Do you understand?” Scotty said still holding Kenny down.

“Yes” Kenny replied meekly.

“Louder so we can all hear you” Scotty demanded. By now Ryan woke up and was standing a few feet away in his boxers with sleepy eyes watching the scene unfold.

“YES. I understand” Kenny said with conviction in his voice. He got the message.

Scotty released his friend and pushed him toward the house “Get out of my face you fucking bully.” Then he turned his attentions to me. I was pulling my trunks up and looking down in embarrassment. After about five months of feeling independent and good about myself, I was reintroduced to self-loathing and humiliation. Why did I let him do this to me?

“Chipper are you okay?” he asked with a caring, sympathetic tone. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. I was humiliated. “Chip, it’s okay buddy” Scotty said as he hugged me.

“What the fuck is going on?” Ryan asked.

“I’m not sure but go tend to your buddy and keep him the fuck away from us” Scotty replied motioning Ryan towards the door. “Oh and tell him he better book a flight home. He just lost his ride.”

I was finally able to speak “H…h..how long were you standing there?” I stammered

“Long enough to see that asshole hit you and treat you like dirt” Scotty replied as he handed me a towel.

“Now go get dressed you and I are going for a ride” Scotty said to me, then escorted me to the bedroom to grab my clothes making sure Kenny left me alone. I threw on a T-shirt and Scotty led me to his old Subaru in the driveway. We drove to a café about ten minutes from the house in total silence with me looking down and Scotty glancing over at me every once in a while, to check on me. About halfway there he put his hand on my leg and said “It’s okay buddy. I got you.”

When we got to the café we were greeted by the owner who looked at Scotty and said “Hey! You’re Kevin’s brother Scott, right?” Scotty nodded with a half-smile on his face trying to figure out how this guy knew him. “I’m Jordy, your brothers neighbor, we met at the wedding yesterday” He said extending his hand and showing us to our table. He looked at my red, tear-covered face and lost his smile “Are you okay buddy?” he asked. I nodded weakly.

Scotty remembered him and said “OH! Jordy. I didn’t recognize you. So THIS is your place. It’s cool” and the two made small talk for a minute before Scotty ordered us a couple cups of coffee and told Jordy we weren’t eating today. Jordy left and returned quickly with the coffee and a plate of pastries. “Homemade and on the house, boys” he said, then he looked at me and asked again if I was okay. I nodded and gave him the best smile I could. He was very kind. He patted me on the shoulder and left the table.

I just sat there staring at my coffee and stirring it mindlessly for a few minutes. Scotty broke the silence “So, are we gonna talk about it or stare at the coffee like a couple of dorks?” I just kept stirring. “Okay, then I’ll start…” Scotty said, “I know you and Kenny fooled around in college and I don’t care.”

I looked up with wide eyes and asked “but…but how did you know?”

Scotty snickered a little and said “Chip, you’re my best friend and I love you, but we shared a bedroom wall for four years and you’re not exactly quiet.”

I wasn’t sure what to say but I responded, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Scotty shrugged and tilted his head and his sandy blond hair fell over his eyes “It’s none of my business. I figured you’d tell me if you wanted to, just like when you came out to me.” He sipped his coffee and looked me straight in the eye and said, “You are my best friend. I don’t give a crap who you sleep with, but I do give a crap about you. What the fuck did I walk in on this morning?”

I hesitated and continued to stir my coffee, then let out a heavy sigh “We haven’t done anything since graduation, he wanted to fuck me, and he got a little rough. That’s all.” Scott listened as I told him about my love hate relationship with Kenny.

“Is he always this mean?” He asked. His light brown eyes looked like they were holding back tears, he was really concerned for me.

I shook my head “No. I mean, he gets rough, but never like this. He’s obviously got issues of his own.”

Scotty let out a “HA! No shit. But that doesn’t give him the right to treat you like shit. Listen, You’re worth more than that and you deserve better.” He was right, and I knew it. “Tell me you won’t put up with that shit from him or anyone else again.” I promised. Scotty gave a shit about me and it felt damn good. “I’m here for you, Chip.” He said looking me straight in the eyes. I knew he meant it.

I was quiet for a while as I sipped my coffee and picked at one of the pastries. “Thanks Scotty” Is all I could muster at the moment. He shot me a huge smile, got out of his chair, came up behind me and just gave me a hug.

I wish I had my shit together like Scotty.

To be continued…