Adulting

Chip’s story

I boarded the plane and thought about getting off of it a million times to talk to Alec. But what the hell would I say? I can’t imagine he’d believe me anyway at this point. He was right. I needed to decide what I wanted. He wasn’t asking me to change who I was, he was asking me to commit to this relationship. It was a fair ask… but could I do it?

I should be happy as hell that Alec wants me, that SHOULD be enough. But after all these years of being a cumdump I can’t help but get a thrill when someone else pays me a little attention. There’s something energizing and life affirming about being wanted. Hell, I wasn’t even remotely into that guy at the party, but HE wanted ME. There’s a thrill in that that I can’t explain. But the big question; Is Alec wanting me enough to keep me happy? He said he was cool with playing together and maybe that would be enough of a thrill to get me through the boredom of monogamy. I think my problem is that I want it all. The security of a home and husband, and the freedom to flirt and fuck whoever I want. That doesn’t line up with what Alec wants. If I want Alec then something has to give.

Being alone with my thoughts on the plane ride home was pure hell, but by the time we touched down in Denver I had decided. I wanted Alec. Every scenario I went through in my head, he was there. He wasn’t the problem, I was. He’s enough… well him and maybe the occasional third wheel. I hated that Alec wasn’t here in-person to talk to, he deserved a face-to-face apology and commitment. Unfortunately that wasn’t possible. So I texted him that I was home safe and asked him to facetime me when he got off work.

As I was texting him I noticed there was a voicemail, I listened to it on the way to baggage claim. It was Kirk Harris. “Hey Chip, It’s Kirk Harris, sorry to bother you on a holiday, but I was hoping to catch you before you went back to Denver. I’ve been talking with the team and we think we carved out a good position for you and would like to make you an offer. Give me a call when you get this. Happy New Year.” Holy fuck, a job offer? Now I really need to make some decisions. Shit, Scotty doesn’t get back until later tonight. I need to talk to him, so I called his phone… Straight to Voicemail. He must be on the plane “Call me as soon as you get this, I need advice!!!” I texted.

I gathered my bags, found my car in the lot and headed home. I unpacked my bags and put everything away, still alone with my thoughts. Still no response from Scotty or Alec. I decided to call Kirk.

“Hi Mr. Harris, It’s Chip Sullivan”

“CHIP! Thanks for calling back, Are you still in town?”

“I JUST got back to Denver” I replied

“Damn. I wanted to see you before you left. Listen. We want you.” He said. Those words hit me in a wonderful way. I love to be wanted, regardless of the context I guess. “We put together a job description for you. You’d be heading up one of our existing accounts and also one of the new ones we just landed. You’d be part of a five person team with two people reporting directly to you, and you’d report directly to me… at least for the first year as we get you onboard and up to speed.” He laid out the financials, SHIT it was a hell of a lot more than I was making, and the cost of living is a lot cheaper in St Louis. There was a signing bonus, moving budget, annual bonus opportunities, and the benefits were great. “I have all this in writing to send you. How does it sound?” He asked, and I realized it was my turn to speak. I had been listening in disbelief.

“Um… I’m sorry you caught me off guard. It all sounds good, of course I need to review the offer and think about it, what are you thinking on timing?” I said, the words flowed from my mouth, but it didn’t feel like me saying them, my mind was reeling on the details of a new life… one that hopefully included Alec! What if I take the job and Alec rejects me? Would I still even want to move? What the fuck do I do?

“We’re thinking Mid-February. That gives you a month and a half to get here, and you’ll have a couple of weeks to get settled in before we take over the new client. That’s negotiable.” He said matter-of-factly as if he had it all written out in front of him, he was obviously a take-charge guy. “Here’s what I’d like to do. I’d like you to review the offer, and if you accept I’d like to fly you back here ASAP, preferably the end of this week, for a day of orientation. That way you can meet you team, we can brief you on the clients, and you can Immerse yourself and ask questions before you start the job. We find it gives people more of a comfort level when they actually start.” That was a lot to take in. But what I heard was “we’ll fly you back to St Louis…” That means I get to see Alec in person. A chance to apologize.

“How about I review the offer and get back to you by end of day Tuesday. Does that work for you?” I asked confidently.

“Absolutely!” Kirk said “I’ll e-mail everything now, please call with any questions. We all hope you’ll join us, Chip. I promise you will have a good future here.” Then he added “Happy New Year” and hung up. I stood in the middle of my bedroom stunned. Dammit, I hope Scotty calls before Alec. Just then I heard the front door open. I ran to the living room.

“Hey bitch” Scotty said with a giant smile. “How was your Christmas?” I ran to him and hugged him tight, damn I was glad to see him.

“Started out great, ended awful, and it just got even more confusing five minutes ago. Did you get my text?” I blurted out.

Scotty looked confused as he put his bags down, grabbed his phone and charger out of his coat pocket and said “My phone died. What’s going on?” He plugged in his phone then grabbed his bags and I followed him to his room. I laid on his bed as he unpacked and spilled my guts to him. I told him about my great Christmas, my wonderful week living with Alec, and then I told him about the guy at the party. I didn’t ring up the job offer yet.

“Aww Chip” he said in a disappointed tone “What the fuck did you do that for?” Scotty looked at me in disappointment. That was hard to take, I respected Scotty more than anyone and his approval meant a lot.

“I dunno, I wasn’t even into the guy. It just… It just felt good to be wanted.” I said sheepishly.

“ALEC FUCKING WANTS YOU!!!!” He yelled back.

Without any thought I replied “but for how long? He can do so much better.” I heard what I had just said. So did Scotty.

“Really? Did he say that to you?” Scotty asked looking me right in the eye.

“Well, no but…I know he…” I started to stumble on my words.

“You don’t know shit. Alec is crazy about you, it’s so obvious. He came out here to see you after just one date!. Are you so fucking insecure that you need the attention of some random guy you’re not even into?” Scotty said, his voice getting louder. “Dammit Chip, you’re such a great guy. Smart, caring, nice and cute as fuck…you’re like a hot little surfer dude that somehow wondered away from the ocean. You’re a catch. How come everyone sees it but you?”

“My mother didn’t see it. She spent less than a year with me and decided I wasn’t worth sticking around for” I barked back at him. I had no idea where that came from. I mean, I always felt loved by dad and my grandparents growing up… but I guess deep down I there was something missing, and I always felt like my mom leaving was my fault. But I never said it out loud before. It came out of nowhere.

“Is that what this is about?” Scotty asked, “your mom?”

I was still a little stunned at my own response “I… I don’t know.”

Scotty grabbed my face between his hands, looked me square in the eye and said “Fuck that! You are an awesome human being. I see it, Alec sees it, your dad sees it. Everyone sees it but you. Your mom lost out o knowing one of the best people in this world. Stop this self-loathing crap.” Scotty was really letting me have it. He really loved me. That was never in doubt.

“Do you want a relationship with Alec or not?”

“Yeah. I absolutely do.”

“Then don’t take this shit out on him” he said. Alec checks every box on every level. He’s perfect for me, but Scotty’s right… I was taking it out on him, maybe I was trying to beat him to the punch and sabotage things before he could reject me. Frankly, the reason I slept around so much is so guys would like me. My identity was steeped in my sexual prowess for so long that maybe I felt I would be losing part of myself. But, would that be such a bad part of myself to lose? Especially for Alec? And would I really be losing myself or would I be evolving into someone better?

“That’s a great advice, Scotty.” I finally replied quietly Scotty knew me better than anyone.

He smiled empathetically and said, “Alec thinks you’re good enough.”

Just then my phone went off, It was Alec on Facetime. I looked up at Scotty “Shit, I’m not ready for this, but here it goes.” Scotty wished me luck as I left his room and walked down the hallway to mine and shut the door. When I got into my room I took a deep breath and accepted the call. “Hi! I miss you” I said as his handsome face came onto the screen.

“I miss you too, Chip” He said smiling “How was your flight?”

I took another deep breath “It was good, I did a lot of thinking”

“And… ?” He asked waiting for me to elaborate.

A little bit of fear came over me as I said “And… if you can forgive me. I want you. I want us.” I was staring at the screen waiting for a response, hoping I didn’t fuck things up beyond repair.

Alec remained expressionless as he said, “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

I nodded “100% sure. I was an idiot, I don’t know what came over me and… ”

“Stop. If you’re sure this is what you want, then let’s move on and forget about the other night. I want to be with you Chip.” Alec said then stopped and waited for me to speak.

“Alec, I’m falling in love with you. I’m just scared shitless I’ll fuck it up.” I said

“Then don’t, Chip. Don’t. Fuck. This. Up.” he said, then he finally smiled, it was a huge smile “So.. you’re falling in love with me are you?” His face wasn’t big enough to hold his smile. “’Bout time! I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.”

Oh my god, I melted. This guy was for real “I have something else to tell you” I said, “I got a job offer today.”

“WHAT??! They made you and offer?!” he yelled into the phone “On New Years Day?! Wow they must really want you. IS it a good offer? What did you tell them?” He was really excited for me… for us.

“The offer sounds great, they’re sending me an email with details. I told them I’d get them an answer on Tuesday. They want me to start mid-February. They also want to fly me out soon for orientation… like this week… so I can get up to speed before I start.” I said “So, what do you think?”

“I think I’d kill to have you living in St Louis. If it’s the right offer for you, DO IT!” He said still smiling. He really wanted me there. God that felt great. “What’s the next step?”

“Read the offer, get my questions together and then give them an answer.” I said, almost sounding like I had a plan. “So are we good?”

“We’re great. I get it, Chip. I really do. It’s a transition. But I trust you and I know we can tackle all this together.” He said making as much eye contact as he could through the tiny screen. “Listen, I’m still at work. Read the offer and let’s talk when I get off tonight. Hell I might even see you this weekend?!”

“Yup! Okay. Hey Alec…” I said

“Yeah?”

“Um.. thank you for understanding and giving me another chance… and… I love you!” I said with a true sincerity in my voice.

He smiled big and said, “I love you too, Scruffy” and then we hung up. I felt great inside. This was all going to work out.

I went back into Scotty’s room where he was still unpacking. “So? How’d it go?” he asked me. My smile sold me out “He forgave you?”

“Yup, and we said “I love you” for the first time.

Scotty smiled “Yeah, I know what that’s like. We have so much to talk about.”

“Yeah we do, Wanna hit the bar?” I Said.

Scotty stopped unpacking and grabbed his coat. We went across the street to our favorite little neighborhood bar to talk. I told him about the job offer, he shocked me by telling me he had one of his own. The dynamic changed completely. Scotty told me all about his awesome holiday with Brad and his family, his trip to Vegas, and the interview. He didn’t leave out a single detail. Then I told him about my job offer and updated him on the Alec saga. There’s something about talking things through with your best friend that makes everything so much clearer. We drank a few beers, ate wings and just talked through everything. We were there for three hours, it was getting late and we both had to go back to work in the morning.

“So, if we both do this, what do we do about the apartment?” Scotty asked, “We’ve got a few months left on the lease.”

“You put on a tight T-shirt and go talk to Mrs. Pruitt” I said “That old woman loves you, she’ll let you out of the lease. Besides, she’s got people lined up wanting to get into this building.” Scotty laughed.

“All right then” he said “let’s go home and sleep on it, get our shit together, and tomorrow we go out for dinner and drinks and talk through our decisions and make a plan. Deal?”

“Deal. This time tomorrow we’ll both have a plan.” We paid the bill and went home. I brushed my teeth and went straight to bed. I couldn’t sleep with so much running through my mind. I kept thinking about Alec. Damn, he’s good guy, and so smart, forgiving, and HOT! He’s so fucking hot.

I started stroking myself thinking about him. His muscular body dusted with perfectly trimmed red hair. I moved my hand up and down my shaft imaging his full lips kissing mine. I ran my free hand up and down my chest pretending it was him touching me. My fingertips felt good gliding over my upper body, pinching my nipples and caressing my abs. My manhood was growing in my hand, getting harder as I fantasized about Alec licking me from head to toe. My hand slipped down and fondled my balls, oh god the soft skin of my scrotum felt awesome. I pulled a little giving myself a little pain, then I started to massage my hole with my middle finger, still holding tight onto my balls.

I reached into my night stand for some lube then went back to stroking myself with long, sensual strokes. I lubed up the middle finger on my free hand and rubbed it around my tight, pink, hungry hole. My right hand was stroking my hard cock as my left teased my pucker, all while my mind conjured up images and Alec. It was almost as if he were laying in the bed with me, teasing my hole with his tongue. I could feel his tongue in my hole lapping away, eating my ass like he was getting it ready for his big, hot cock. I continued to picture and feel his wet tongue as my lubed finger went in and out, and round and round opening up my pucker. I was almost ready for his hard cock. While my mind kept dreaming of Alec my hand reached into the nightstand again and pulled out my eight inch dildo. I lubed it up then rubbed it up and down my ass crack Although a little colder and not as fleshy as the real thing, in my mind the dildo became Alec’s perfect manhood teasing my hairless hole. “Alec’s dick” pushed against my pucker lightly and then with more power until it breached my resistant hole. Goddammit it felt so good, I pushed the dildo all the way in as I dreamed of Alec fucking me. I pulled it out and thrust it in hard and fast, harder and faster, HARDER AND FASTER OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! It was hitting all the right places and sending me into a frenzy as my mind reeled with visions of Alec. I shoved it in as deep as I could as my right hand pounded my hard cock faster and faster until suddenly I shot my load. It was powerful and hit my chin, I bent my neck to try to catch the next shot. It hit my right between the eyes, and the third went right into my waiting mouth. The next few shots lost their power and landed on my torso and abs.

I was so into my own fantasy as I scooped up my cum and brought it to my lips, pretending it was Alec’s and wishing he was there to share it with. I lay there in the afterglow wishing he was there with me. I really did love the guy, and I finally realized… he was enough for me. I fell asleep sticky with a smile on my face.

The next morning I woke up at 5AM, jumped in the shower and then spend the next half hour reading through the offer from Kirk. These guys weren’t playing. The offer was awesome! It was only 6AM when I called Dad, I couldn’t wait any longer. I went through the offer with him, he asked a lot of great questions and forced me to think through everything. He also reminded me me that I could take over Brendon’s condo if I paid the utilities and HOA fees. That was an awesome offer! About half of what I was paying here. I could really put some cash away. Everything was coming together. Maybe this was all meant to be after all.

After a quick breakfast with Scotty I went to work. The day went by slow and uneventful as I took stock of my job, my work relationships, and started assessing what I would miss. You know… I wouldn’t miss much. This was just a job. It wasn’t my calling, or my passion and it didn’t really excite me much. Leaving wasn’t a bad thing. I started to wonder if anyone here would even remember me in a few months. Probably not. My goal for the day was to make it through until dinner with Scotty. I couldn’t wait to talk about the future.

I hadn’t heard from Scotty all day, I texted a few times, but he never responded. When I got home from work I took a shower and got ready to go out to dinner. It was almost 7PM when Scotty came through the door.

“Hey, bitch! I’m hungry where have you been?” I asked with a smile in my voice as I greeted my best friend.

He just stood there, pale as a ghost and looked at me “Brad’s missing” He said in a very sullen tone.

“What do you mean he’s missing?” I asked in total confusion.

“He flew back from Vegas with Kev and Randy and no one has seen or heard from him since. He didn’t return any of my texts and when I call it goes right to voicemail.” Scotty said in the same tone.

“Maybe his phone died” I offered to ease his mind.

“He didn’t show up at work either. Randy called me at noon to see if I had talked to him.” He said as his voice cracked, I could see the worry in his eyes. “Kevin sent his neighbor Marc, the cop over to his condo to check on him. I’m waiting to hear if he’s okay. Chipper, something’s wrong, I’m scared.”

I went over and embraced my best friend, I had no words to share.

To be continued…