Works and Days

Retreat

1

Friday evening, as Russell walked toward Saint Adjeanet’s, he saw those familiar kids. He longed to be those children. In some ways he realized he was scared of them, not because they were Black, but because children scared him. He had never enjoyed being one, but here they were, those Kirkland Street kids who probably lived on the far east side where things got crummy, and they were standing in a friendly pack he wished he could be part of. They were singing

“Carter and Erika

Carter and Erika

Um um um

Um um um

Carter and Erika!”

 

There was the boy, Carter, as Russell remembered him, and now he was walking away from the kids, grinning, holding the hand of a haughty blond girl.

While half of the kids sang: “Carter and Erika!” the other half took up a stately, almost ceremonial humming.

Suddenly a tall, light skinned, bushy haired girl leapt from the grou of the children serenading the departing couple, and she cried out cheerfully:

“FUCK HER!

FUCK HER, CARTER!

FUCK HER TILL SHE BLEEEEEDS!”

Russell had no idea how Erika and Carter took this, because the moment he heard it, he was aware that he was standing on the other side of the street, stock still as a moron, and that he suddenly had the biggest, most painful boner he’d ever known. He turned and started walking for the church, and when he heard the children laughing he went hot, but still could not stop being hard, and as his face prickled, beading with sweat, the illogical thought that they were laughing at him and his erection pursued him..

The plan was to show up at Saint Adjeanet’s before heading to Lake Chicktaw, Father Heinz led them in group prayer before the drive to the lake. Thom Lewis was already there along with John, and Bill Dwyer and David Armstrong. Chuck Shrader, Jeff Cordino, and Jason Dygulski were there too. Chayne had sent Russell ahead and said he was on his way. Will Shuster said he was thinking about coming, Jim Addison was there too.

Russell took comfort in the mutual depression of his peers, Niall Dwyer and Dave Armstrong. The first he didn’t know very well, and the second he had never liked, Jim Addison’s son was the only person under twenty excited about any of this. Even Uncle John was not much of a comfort. The entire drive to the lake, he kept asking Thom where he’d gone wrong with Jackie and, really, Russell didn’t care to think of John as the father of his Aunt’s illegitimate child.

It took an hour for them to set up the two large tents, and Russell pulled out an insincere smile as Thom talked of turning on the barbecue pit and grilling the hot dogs—no, the franks. Jim Addison, a man his father’s age, was feeling especially social and asking Russell how he felt about God and Confirmation and wasn’t the Roman Catholic Church just the greatest thing God had made? Wasn’t the Eucharist the greatest gift of all? Russell nodded, envisioning Sunday morning, when this was all in the past, just another crap memory. Jim’s son was Cassidy, who was telling all the other boys what it was like to be a Campus Minister at his college, Russell realized that most of his life was composed of crap memories. Just as he was about to sink into yet another teenage depression, he and everyone else at the edg of the lake heard a car honk and turned to see a black hearse trundling over the uneven grass and tree roots.

“Chayne!” Russell shouted out with relief.

The car stopped; the doors opened. Ted Weirbach unfolded himself from the driver’s seat and rolling out of the passenger’s seat, Chayne Kandzierski declared, tonelessly:

“Well, I’m here.”

Chayne passed on the hot dogs saying, “I already ate.”

“We’re glad you came all the same,” Robert Heinz said. He was in blue flannel, looking like the Brawny Paper Towel Man.

“So whaddo we do now?” Chayne asked rather ungraciously.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Robert Heinz said, and Chayne eye balled him while Father Geoff looked at Robert Heinz in shock.

“I just thought we’d all get to know each other, you know, chit chat. Then after that, say evening prayer around the fire.”

“Evening prayer?” started young Dave Armtstrong.

“It’s not what you think,” Chayne told him. “It’s not mushy or gross or anything. Don’t be afraid.”

“Thank you, Chayne,” said Geoff.

“Anytime.”

“And we’ll get together for prayer in the morning as well,” Robert Heinz went on. “And breakfast.”

Chayne looked up through the branches at the darkened sky.

“What time in the morning are we supposed to getting together for prayer?”

Robert Heinz looked at his non existent watch.

“How about eight o—” he saw the look on Chayne’s face.

“Nine…?  Ten?”

Chayne said, “Ten’s good.”

Thom and Bill Dwyer spent only a few minutes for the boys before looking to the yellow lit round domed tent, Ted and Chayne had set up.

“Chayne—” said Thom, flipping the curtain flap back, and all the boys pulled away from the center of the tent, while Chayne and Diggs made a half gesture to hide the cards.

“Teaching the kids to gamble?” Bill looked at Chayne wryly, and then cocked his head at the cards. Thom frowned in confusion at them, and Jeff, sticking his head in behind them said, “Chayne, are you reading Tarot cards?”

“To put us in the right perspective,” Russell explained, combing the hair from his face, “before evening prayer.”

“Which we were just about to start,” Thom said, still eyeing the Cards.

“The Devil?”  Thom eyed the one with the horned goat-head and a pentagram between his eyes.

“I assure you,” Ted said, “It’s not nearly as bad as it looks.”

Because Bill and Thom looked unconvinced, Chayne told the truth.

“It sort of is.”

Robert Heinz concluded: “May the Lord Almighty bless us, protect us from all evil and bring us to everlasting life.”

They all chorused: “Amen.”

The fire crackled between them, sending tongues of flame and sparks into the thick blackness of night.

“Well, I feel good right now,” Father Heinz insisted. “Whaddo you guys wanna do?”

“I think,” Chayne said, looking around, “the boys might appreciate being separated from the men. I don’t think they want to hear the idle chit-chat of a bunch of old men…. And me.”

“So is it just all of us for ourselves?” Robert Heinz seemed pleased at the prospect as he stood up. “I think I’d like to go for a walk around the lake if that’s alright with everyone.”

Everyone nodded. The three boys ran away, while Cassidy Addison stood looking between the men and boys, not sure which he belonged, then followed the boys.

“I know,” Chayne murmured after Cassidy. “Sometimes it’s hard for me to choose too.”