Wasted

The sound of water gurgling made Mason twist a little and blink his eyes, as he slowly woke up from his deep sleep. As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes he could see the haunting image of George looming over his prostrate body, his eyes glittering and his mouth salivating as he came closer to Mason's nude body, all stretched out on a hospital gurney. He could almost feel George's heavy breath against his face and almost feel the rough hands as they reached down to his groin, and he rubbed his eyes harder, willing himself to come awake and end one more episode of his nightmare dreams.

He lay there, sweat soaking his young body as he struggled to push aside the crazy images of George and the various ways in which he could imagine his older brother coming for him, coming to teach him that family love was his duty, was his responsibility. In the past, he would open his eyes to find Cory holding him in his arms, and as he finally cleared the sleep from his eyes, he felt disappointed. There was no Cory next to him, no Cory holding his sweating body next to his, no soothing sounds of 'It's Okay Mason' softly filling his ears.

The sadness grew inside of him as his heart became heavy with the realization that he would not be having that safe feeling anymore. He trembled a little, realizing that his nightmares were his own; there no longer would be a strong loving shoulder to bury his head in, to take away the pain and fear. He was alone, once more left to the dark thoughts of his mind. CHRIST, one day away from Cory and already he was becoming the basket case, he knew he was.

Angry with himself, he threw off the coverings, and sat up on the floor to take stock of just where he was. He glanced around to see his bags next to him, a sleeping bag had been tossed over him and he shivered a little, as he had no shirt on and it was cold in the room. Looking over he saw an unmade bed, linens strewn over the place and dirty clothes piled up next to it on the floor. As he slowly stood up, his bare feet feeling the cold floors he searched for his socks and shoes but found nothing in the room, not even his shirt.

His first few steps were painful and his head began to ache something fierce. He could feel the room spinning and he found himself staggering over to the bed, where he sat down and waited a second or two, for the room to stop spinning and for his stomach to go back down to his belly instead of being in his throat. God, he felt like he had been shit kicked and yet he really hadn't had all that much to drink, well comparatively speaking that is. Mind you, mixing beer with Tequila shooters as well as Vodka, was not always a good idea, plus downing a few rum and coke's would not help matters either.

'Man, you look like shit'

'Huh? Oh Justin, gee thanks for the kind observation, fuck if look half as bad as my guts feel..'

'Yeah well, you most likely do.. the john's back there if you need it, want some food?'

'GOD NO! Sorry, no.. this your room?'

'Nope, its Chad and Mark's love nest, can't you tell by the stench of cologne and sweat? Hehe'

'Oh, don't.. I thought that was.. oh shit I have to lay down, my head is killing me.. they going to mind?'

'Huh? Oh no, Mark's already off to class and Chad is still passed out in living room, just don't sleep on your stomach unless you want to wake up to a dick up your ass.. Chad has a habit of just, well you get the idea'

'Yeah, thanks.. maybe I can just crawl to my room, which is where by the way?'

'Yeah, well, about that, guess we should kind of get that all cleared up, uh, I mean I guess it comes down to how much you willing to chip in towards the bills and all'

Mason had managed to squirm his way back onto the bed, his head and back leaning up against the wall. The smell of dried cum was ripe where he was and normally it didn't bother him, but he could feel his stomach doing summersaults with each breath. He also was feeling a bit edgy, the way Justin seemed to be hedging on his earlier pledge about moving in.

'Yeah? I thought when we talked before, you told me I could crash here for about $250 a month, so, like what's the score with that?'

'Hey, don't get all cranky on me, that's the deal if you want it, I just wasn't sure if you did, after all you did crash in here instead of my room..'

'Uh, what's that supposed to mean?'

'Fuck man, you still drunk or what? The deal man, you pay $250 and crash with me in my room, I mean you don't get your own room for that kind of dough, besides, you said you wanted to pay cheap rent so you would have more to party with, remember?'

The mention of having more money to party with struck a chord in Mason's jumbled memory and he slowly started to remember some of the conversation. They had been out on the quad, smoking a few joints when Mason had told Justin he wanted to find another place to live, and Justin had volunteered to let him move in with him. Shit, now he recalled it, Justin did say something about sharing his room, for the right deal. Fuck, one of these days he'd have to stop trying to make decisions while stoned, it never did work out.

'Sort of man, tell me more'

'Nothing more to say, really. If you don't want to go through with it, I suppose we could work something else out, there is a vacant room we use to keep our other junk in, but I mean not for any $250, that's for sure'

'Yeah, so, like what? We share the room or we sharing our dicks too?'

Justin looked at Mason from under his eyes. He had a habit of looking away from a person when he was on edge, or when he was trying to pull something and Mason recognized the look. He maybe hung over but he still could think, in a fashion and he waited for the answer, knowing that if it was yes, he'd be looking for another place to stay.

'Well that would be nice, but, uh, no, it wasn't part of the deal, it was simply we'd share the bed, with one rule, whoever had a date spending the night, the other one got to grab a piece of the floor, but like I said, if you want to throw in sharing your dick, I sure as fuck ain't going to object'

'Cool, you really do have a thing for wanting to get into my pants don't you Justin?'

'Hey, what can I say, I like a nice piece of cock and ass, and yours is definitely up there in the choice department'

'God, I bet if I told you to come and suck it now you would jump'

'Hehe, yeah most likely, why? You offering?'

'Yeah right.. NOT. But, hey you never know, so where is 'our' room then? Hate to have Chad mistake me for one of his one night stands, and I hate sleeping with my hand over my ass'

Mason spent most of the day sleeping it off, but every now and then he would wake up and reach out, looking for Cory's warm body and when he came up empty, he could feel the heaviness grow inside of him. He knew that he had deep feelings for Cory, and yet a part of him resented those feelings. There was no explanation other than that he was a major fuck up, a complete ass who deserved shit and not someone like Cory, and yet Cory seemed to be stuck on him.

He knew that leaving Cory was the hardest thing he had ever done, well almost, the hardest had been saying 'no' to George when he first started seeing Cory, but that was sex, this was different. Somehow, he had to give Cory a chance at getting what he deserved, and that meant no 'Mason' in his life. God, how could the guy still like him, never mind love him after the crap he pulled in Memphis?

There was no doubt that he had been out of control there, and yet through it all Cory had stood by him, even when he had come home with two other guys and proceeded to kiss them and fondle them, right in front of Cory. Either the guy was a sucker for humiliation or he really did love him, and in his way, Mason had to admit he did love Cory, it was just, well, just he wasn't good boyfriend material. George had seen to that, the way he had twisted everything up for him, but it wasn't all George's fault, he had played his role in it too. After all, he could have done something to stop George, he didn't have to let George rape him every time he wanted, so really, if anyone was at fault, it was his own sick sense of need.

'FUCK' this was getting him nowhere, and he finally climbed out of bed and padded into the bathroom, where he stared at the image in the mirror. 'God what a royal fuck up' he thought, staring at his reflection and he wondered why God had even wasted his time in letting him be born. 'I mean shit, I can't even decide if I prefer to get raped by my brother's monster dick or spend a life in the arms of a nice guy, I gotta be a complete jerk' and with those thoughts he went and turned on the shower, to try and clear his fogged brain.

Without even taking his boxer shorts off, he stepped into the shower to try to clear up the fog inside of his head. The cold water hit him hard and he started to shake a little and blubber as he let the stinging needles bring him fully awake. The sound of a person entering the bathroom shook the last cobwebs away.

'That you Justin?' he yelled

'No, its Chad, who's that?'

'Mason'

'Cool, want some company in there?'

'No'

'Okay, how about a beer then?'

'Okay, be out in a second'

'Kay, I just gotta pee, flush it for me when you get out'

'Okay'

Mason wrung his shorts out and threw over the top of the shower bar, letting them drip into the tub while he towelled off. He felt better now, the dark thoughts banished for the moment, but he knew they would be back soon enough, but for now, he was free of them and after a few drinks, he'd be rid of them for a while longer. Nothing helped much, but at least he could get some peace from the thoughts that plagued him all the time. Cory told him he should see someone, and he had answered that he was, he was seeing several people, Smirnoff, Johnny Walker, Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, and even Captain Morgan. Cory had not been impressed but Mason thought it had been funny.

'Hey you made it, thought maybe you had drowned there for a second, here, have a cold one'

Chad tossed him a cold Bud and he flicked the top off and took a nice long pull of the beer. He sat down on the couch, his hair still dripping a little but he did feel better now, that first taste helping immensely.

'Thanks'

'No sweat, so hear you joining our band of drunks and perverts'

'Yep, okay with you?'

'Yeah I got no problem with that, so, what's the score with you and the jock? Thought you two were an 'item' as they say'

'Ancient history'

'Cool, so no classes or taking a 'moving day'? Hehe'

'Moving day.. yeah that sounds good, hell, I needed a break anyway, you?'

'Haha, me? Nah I gave up on that shit ages ago, I just go from party to party man, the only way to spend your youth'

'Sounds like a plan'

'Yeah, so, want another brew? Here..'

'Thanks, you got wheels? I gotta hit the liquor store and re stock'

'Yeah, I got a beater, but hell, I got a couple of 24's so don't sweat it, you can pay it back later'

'Thanks, I'll do that'

'So, you and Justin.. anything there?'

'No, why?'

'Well don't want to step on any toes, ..you up for some party action or too burnt from last night?'

'Never too burnt, what do you have in mind?'

'Well, I got some weed if you want, good stuff from Canuck land too, or if you really want to get in the mood, I got some great coke, really good stuff'

'Maybe later, for now I'll stick to the suds'

'Cool, let me know though, I got primo stuff, not like some of that crap Justin winds up getting'

'Yeah I'll keep that in mind, so anything brewing for tonight?'

'Not much, I think Mark wants to hit the bar tonight, so I'll most likely start off there, not sure if Justin is going to come or not, he usually can't handle two nights in a row during the week, you wanna tag along?'

'Maybe, have to check the finances first, don't get any more till Monday'

'Yeah? Well, its Mark's party, he's buying'

'Oh? Well shit, in that case sure.. he won't mind?'

'Nah, I'll just squeeze his dick a little first, and he'll be happy'

'Haha, yeah okay'

'Hey, it works, and he really doesn't mind, besides, he knows how it is'

'Yeah? Well, that has to help'

'Uh huh, guess the jock didn't hey?'

'No, no he really didn't, funny isn't it? You would think he would have tweaked by now, oh well, you got another brew there? This is gone'

*****

Mason was feeling a bit guilty as the waiter brought him another run and coke drink and passed the bill over to Mark. Looking at Mark, he smiled, wondering what the guy was thinking, and then he shook his head, wishing that these constant doubts would just leave him alone, let him be so he could have some fun. Chad had been right, Mark didn't object when he was told that Mason would be joining them at the bar, if Mark were buying. All he did was smile and comment how it would be great to be in the middle of two hot young studs.

The booze was having its effect on him and he started to loosen up, ignoring the feelings he was having, the guilt of taking advantage of Mark. Instead he could feel his chest swell a little, as he noticed how most of the bars' elderly patrons kept glancing their way, their eyes fixed either on Chad's trim young body, or on JT's athletic frame, or even on his own svelte muscular body. No one stared at Mark, or Debbie, knowing that they were lucky only in being able to sit so close to such obvious prime boy beef.

Seeing all those old guys drooling over him and Chad and JT, it finally dawned on him why Mark was always footing the bills for Chad. He enjoyed the attention; he enjoyed having other's fantasizing about Chad while he got to actually realize some of those fantasies. If to keep that hold, he had to pay for other's fun, why not, this way he was the envy of a group that normally wouldn't even look his way, let alone wish to be in his place.

Mark really wasn't a bad guy, he was actually funny at times and he did have a sort of interesting shyness about him that was rather attractive. However, that was as far as it went, and Mason didn't think he really was being prejudiced but he just couldn't see himself having sex with Mark, there was just too much of him. He was surprised that Chad would actually, because Chad was even more of a society climber than he was, but then Mark did pay the bills, so that had to be the reason.

Maybe Chad did care for Mark, but he couldn't actually enjoy doing him. After all, Mark was not tall, maybe 5 feet 9 inches at best and if you looked at him sideways, you were sure he was the same size as if you looked at him from the front. He had to weigh at least 180 pounds and he had several rolls on his stomach and his arms were beefy looking, no tone to them or muscle definition either.

As he finally began to unwind and let the booze take hold of him, he also started to realize a little of what Cory must of felt like. Maybe that was why he had taken so much shit from him, because he enjoyed having people staring at him, knowing that he was Mason's lover and boyfriend. Sure, Cory always said it was because he loved him, but come on, what they had wasn't love, least not in any sense that he understood. Hell, they hardly enjoyed sex with each other lately, but then too, that wasn't Cory's fault, it was just that he, Mason, was always too drunk to really get hard enough. Plus, well, he really didn't feel like he was having sex with Cory, there just wasn't the pain that he had experienced with George, and that was what love was supposed to feel like, to be painful, to know you had something in there, not all that warm stuff, that gentle shivering or quivering body shit.

Downing another rum, he signalled for a refill and wondered if he really was that fucked up or if maybe he just wanted a reason to feel the way he did? There were times when the touch of Cory's hands on his naked body would send him shaking and he thought the whole world had exploded, it had felt that good, but ever since Cory had dealt with George, had ended forever his time with George, that had changed.

No longer did Cory's hands make him feel special, or any of that other mumbo jumbo stuff, least not all the time. Instead, he would find himself wondering what George was doing now, or whom he was doing. Thinking like that would generally get him horny too, as he would find his mind replaying some of the more pleasant times with George, when he took his time, to slowly insert his huge monster dick up Mason's ass, and yes, it hurt even then, but differently. It was more like the pain was a part of the love, part of George's gift to him and if he really loved his older brother, well then he had to show him by taking that pain, so that George could give him all of his love.

Maybe he was warped, but it was how he felt and no amount of discussing it with some shrink or other do gooders would change that. He loved his brother, they were blood and if it hadn't been for George, he would never have accepted being gay. Maybe it was just that you had to have some pain in order to know how lucky you were, and while George did go overboard at times, he couldn't believe he meant to cause him harm.

Okay, his story to the doctor and clinic was a lie, but if you thought about it, he had to protect his own reputation too, not to mention the families, so who was Cory to have passed judgement on him? Cory didn't know all the details, and besides, it wasn't George who plied him with alcohol so he could cop a feel, that was Cory, so maybe Mr. Righteous himself should be the one who should go see a shrink, not him.

'Man you looking angry, what's up bro?'

'Huh? Nuthin Chad, just thinking how Cory thought I should see a shrink.. kind of pissed me off'

'Whoa, no fooling man, come on, let's go show all these old farts what two hot studs can do on the dance floor'

'Yeah, why not'

They started off slowly, just dancing like any two people did but as they shook, as their bodies heated up and the booze took a stranglehold on them, Mason could feel himself getting more into it, more desirous to really show the people around what it was like to be 6ft tall, 165 pounds of pure man with real blond hair flowing down to his shoulders. He began to gyrate his hips to make even the blindest old man go bug eyed with desire and Chad followed his lead.

Together they started to heat up the dance floor, their two young bodies moving as one, slowly going up and down each other, as if locked in a wild passionate embrace. Mason had his hands on Chad's shoulders, pushing him down where Chad would then rub his face against Mason's stomach, then down his crotch and then down one side of his leg, then he would move over to the other leg, raising his head now upwards, once more passing the crotch and then the stomach and then he would bring his own young lithe body inwards. Chad would crush his pelvis forward, grinding his groin into Masons own solid crotch.

They danced wildly, making the sexually provocative scene from the movie 'Dirty Dancing' looks like a kids dance. They would have there hands clutching at the others buttocks, squeezing the hard flesh and making the body's join together that no one thought two people could do on a dance floor.

Mason could feel his desire for Chad growing as they danced and he knew that he was definitely turning on Chad. Each time that Chad's body would crush into his own, the hard press of a very substantial dick would press into his belly and he could only imagine the size of that cock as he would try to press his own 9 inch wonder weapon into Chad's stomach, to make him feel his own hot desire and wild passions. The music grew hotter and their dancing became even more intense. His body started to sweat and he could feel his shirt sticking to his hot flesh as they danced wildly. No one else seemed to want to dance, all they wanted to do was watch the unexpected floor show of two hot boys as they enticed each other with their young flesh.

Chad's body was shorter and he moved quicker, but you could see his jeans being stretched hard now by the bulging cock inside. The older men in the bar were all crowding around the edge of the dance floor to catch as much of the shots as possible. Mason could feel their eyes burning into his body as he would swing his hips to cover up the thick bulge, and it was as if he could hear them sigh each time he did that, and he got a large smile on his face each time.

The sight of Mason smiling every now and then was making Chad feel very horny. His cock was pressing through his jeans like a god damn jack hammer and he could feel hs body aching to have that young body pressed up against his own naked body. For a brief second he felt like just dumping his clothes and yanking on Mason's jeans so he could drill his butt right then and there but he knew that Mason wouldn't go for that, least not right now. As he danced, as he felt Mason's hot hands caress his backside, and then squeeze his buttocks, digging the fingers in deep till they touched bone, his cock started to jerk inside of his pants. His balls were full and they started to ache in a way he had never really felt before and he swore that if Mason smiled one more time he really would fuck his ass there and then, and to hell with the consequences.

Mason could feel Chad's desires, feel his need for him and it made him feel like he was special. He could almost read his mind, and each time he ground his hips into that hard throbbing bulge, he could feel Chad groan and a sort of glazed look would come into his dark eyes. Shit, every time he stared into those dark chocolate coloured eyes, he could feel his heart melting a little, wondering what it would be like to have Chad take him, right there on the dance floor in front of everyone, but he knew he couldn't do that, least not now.

Both of them were sweating like pigs, pools of water were flowing down their bodies onto the dance floor. Their shirts were so wet that they clung clearly to every rippling muscle in both chests. Mason could feel the eyes on him and Chad and it made him dance even closer, draining him of his fluids as his body continued to ooze nothing but sweat. His state of arousal was becoming a problem for him too, he could feel his own hot sticky pre cum oozing from the slit in his hard cock and he knew it was adding to the wetness around his groin.

Chad had never felt so overwhelmed by another male as he was feeling right now dancing with Mason. His body ached for more and his heart was pounding, praying that this night would end in a wild passionate explosion. His mind could think of nothing but how hot Mason looked and felt. His body ached in spots he never thought could ache, and the excitement only increased with each thump of the music.

Once more, the music changed its tempo and slowly it began to die out, as the DJ simply couldn't handle it any longer. He was feeling too aroused himself and he could see how everyone was being mesmerized by the two young men, as they gyrated closely, their bodies mere extension of some deep hidden desire. It was almost like a mating dance, the way the two had danced together and he could feel his own dick pushing at his pants and he needed a chance to hit the men's room and relive that burning ache in his crotch.

The music had been stopped for several seconds before either Chad or Mason realized it. They had been so lost in their feelings, their awakened passions, that the empty sound and collective sighs of those watching didn't even phase them. As the end of the music finally dawned on them, Chad reached across and kissed Mason very lightly on the lips. He could taste the salt from all the sweat and he felt his body quiver as his own lips pressed briefly against Mason's.