Trick and Treat and Christmas

It was dark enough that the windows were a sort of mirror reflecting the interior of the room. You could be forgiven if you thought this was actually the cover for a very fine interior decorating magazine, Christmas addition. I was closest to the glass adjacent to a magnificently decorated tree from which an ocean of paper, ribbon, boxes, bags and, almost incidentally, me seemed to flow. I could see a me that I’d never seen before, turned out in a pair of knee high grey Cashmere socks, worn under some soft flannel pants that tied at the waist plus over that a V neck Cashmere sweater, also in grey. Sound Matchy Matchy? Didn’t look that way plus, behind me on a slightly curved sofa upholstered in the sort of material that argued against having any sort of household pet that had claws was Jerry, my recently re-acquired Jerry.

In my ho-hum everyday life I alternated between being a terrific barber, specializing in whatever you wanted done that could be done with a well stropped straight razor, clippers, scissors as well as being a street hooker, worked 50 yards from the shop but looked so different none of the guys who patronized the shop-my buddy and fellow barber, Rod, owned it-ever noticed me as they drove by on their way to get clipped or shaved or whatever. No one.

Those who drove by and who clearly knew me were the cops who worked this part of town and to whom I was not only for sale but a carefully cultivated source for information; Leaning against my chain link fence, I was a much a part of the place as the other trash, just cost more, and, for the guys with badges, someone who knew what went by, had a good memory for colors, people, an occasional license tag….I was helpful. So much so that their local captain made two loitering charges I’d acquired disappear and, when a rookie tried to run me in, he’d found himself run in…to an alley where things were explained to him allowing him to emerge wiser and, once with two, not one, black eyes. Plus he would be made to ride with “little” Jeff where his education in street knowledge would be not just kick started, but run through all seven gears.

These guys were my friends, friends to the shop where Rod, faithful to his past, offered a 20% reduction to all uniformed military service personnel as well as first responders; Fire fighters, Highway Patrol Guys, EMS Techs came to us from….as far as fifty miles away. The discount wasn’t that much of an inducement but Rod, and to a lesser degree, me, were truly good hair cutters that ignored “Style” but turned out a man looking like a man, with all his masculinity in tact, maybe even improved.

Once, and only once, some dude in a wild colored Mohawk had dropped in to see “what he could do that was even more radical”. I took, indeed I insisted, on handling this jerk and, when finished, not only did he have great shave but a well shaved head leaving a Mohawk, the back end of it at least, still there but now colored a more conservative Navy, all one inch by one quarter of an inch of it. The word got out, or so we supposed, that you didn’t come in to fuck around with those guys. Oh, yeah, Mr. Mohawk, had a sort of familiar ring so Rod, I was involved, slipped out the front door, gave one of our cruising buddies a ring which occasioned a cop in plain clothes to come in for….what he picked out as his. I guess at the county jail the last remnant of his mohawk disappeared as they sluiced out his ass causing a package of well packed Opioids to drop out. Some months later, in a very nice ceremony held at the shop, the Captain gave us medals for citizenship not to mention the 25k in reward money of which….we returned half to their fund for fallen and injured officers. It seemed a good moment for honoring so we presented all who attended with a certificate good for a shave and a hair cut and, in very large print, “NO TIPPING” but under that, ‘Tipping on what we see will continue’. Did this make us snitches? I don’t think so-we were in the sort of neighborhood where everyone needed to help out others and if that included telling what we saw, no speculation as well as no calling every time we were suspicious, then we were either the cited good snitches, or two men running a barber shop who loved cops; No middle ground.

On occasion, when working as a street diversion, I was tempted to wear the Citizenship medal…a client might wonder so, on my phone, I had a picture of me being pinned by the Captain, his face and our general location photoshopped out. Citizenship was not what my lookers and shoppers were after so it stayed at the shop, chastely mounted on black velvet then framed; I kept it, as did Rod, by my station in the shop. The group picture taken that day enlarged, by the Police Photography Unit, also framed and hung on the wall. Those who were long time customers were both proud and amused while those who knew me up close and real personal, laughed themselves stupid.

I looked at the newly received gold watch-never less than, oh, maybe 25, 26 thousand plus the very real gold chain around my neck. Nothing implied, no leash like the one I was wearing the night I first met Jerry.

Standing naked in his apartment, a gift from some friends, I was to help him over the agony of turning 40; What I did was help him from falling down due to exhaustion. Nice guy, real sweetheart. After he was showered, shaved and moved to his bed, he came to just long enough to invite me to slide in beside him and we’d see what the morning brought.

Morning brought the two of us fucking followed by a very leisurely breakfast that almost made me late for a 3pm appointment. Somewhere in all this while love didn’t bloom, an affection, an affinity for each other did….he offered to buy me every night until I caved but…I’d worked my, uh, craft too long. He was a one night stand, we both were to each other, so when I walked out the door, whatever feelings we might have thought we had, weren’t valid, just a casual memory that would be lost.

That’s how it’s supposed to work but didn’t. I mooned over him for months, unfortunately told people and, as a Christmas present, found he’d been given back to me. As happened, while I was carrying at least a Tiki torch for him, he’d been drooling over a memory but….got lost in a move, business…to the extent that I remained a wonderful memory that got better as time away from the event polished what had happened to a high gloss. Same for me.

The do-gooders of the world, well intentioned all of them, mean well but usually cause havoc; Put several of them of one mind about something that is really none of their business and you know you are going to get cluster fucked if you’re the object of their intervention. Which is how Jerry showed up in my bed done up as a version of how we’d first met. It didn’t take long, oh, less than a minute, for him to be holding me, both of us in tears and then….he insisted we go to his “place” as he had Christmas already for me. There. At his place. It was Christmas Eve.

Overwhelmed with the memory of a very special one night stand, over reading it, hoping for something…of course I changed out of my barber togs to something more informal; Not one of my many disguises as a street whore but not as formal as, say, a wedding of someone I didn’t know very well but got conned into going. That done, we zipped down my outdoor staircase-I lived above the barber shop-and, Sweet Jesus, into his Rolls Royce. In my neighborhood, leaving it even casually in front of the Police Station for a moment or so was an invitation to…many some ones to loiter by and steal at least the hood ornament; Something suggested to me that even that had great cash surrender value.

He was as casual about it as if he’d dropped the hay baler, hopped in the pick up then went to a friends to see if he could fix their cream separator. I’d never been in a Rolls, few have, but the experience was of the sort that someone said took no time to get used to. Our trip across town was quiet, even on the expressway where three cop cars in full pursuit passed us and…we didn’t even have to raise our voices to be heard over their racket. Trying to use the drive to wherever to some purpose, I tried to tell him what finding him meant to me while he tried, simultaneously, did the same spiel to me. Finding this was getting us nowhere, he pushed up the arm rests, extended his right arm, told me to get over to him, put that arm around me as we rode in elegance as our sexual organs were beating tom toms of desire. Just to try and not detract from the style of the place, I tried to put my right hand, casually, you heard me, casually, over my crotch to conceal that I’d past third base on the diamond that led to coming and was sliding into home plate. He must have been psychic for at the next off ramp, he exited, took the first street that didn’t look well populated, leaned over, got my cock out and blew me. In his Rolls. One push of a button and the wheel swung up meaning I could return the favor without risking concussion.

“Better?”

“Oh, yeah, don’t think I could have made it home….that my friend is why once you’ve experienced a true professional at sex, others seem..bland.”

“Thanks.” I guess it was a compliment.

The rest of the drive had me leaning against him, his arm around my shoulders, a couple of fingers trying to get to my nipples while he steered with his left thumb. Fine and dandy with me.

When he’d said he was moving a long, long way from my part of town, he wasn’t kidding. While we didn’t have to have passports to get wherever we were, it wasn’t a drive one made on the spur of the moment without packing a substantial lunch. Ahead of loomed a building which I guessed was our destination-nothing else we were passing was worthy of having a Rolls Royce parked even near it.

I was right. All I could think as we approached was about the monolith in the film, “2001”. The same white rectangle only this building, as compared to the monolith they found on the moon, could easily be seen from the moon. That there was no discernible entrance, just a circular drive in the front that led to a porte cochere sufficiently large to cover a carriage pulled by eight horses. That was for, I suppose, the poor folks or the ‘help’ unless they lived in. Our entrance was on the side but you had to know where it was also have the gadget that you pointed at a blank wall with, I assume, a code in it that caused the wall to disappear, then reappear once the bumper was barely past a certain point. Inside there was what looked to be a service station, pumps, bays where a couple of cars were up on lifts, racks of tires. Jerry stopped, put it in Park, got out-I followed from my side-and was almost instantly greeted by a man who didn’t quite salute but I felt would have liked to, welcomed him back and then….

“Herb, this is Matt, you know that new Jag? That’s for him but he can have this or it, whatever he feels like, okay?” I felt it would be.

“ One second, Sir” then pointed a phone/camera at me, quick flash then his smile. “Great, I Guar-an-Tee you, no one gets either car but one of the two of you. Got your picture on our screen already.” I felt it would be. But Herb’s largesse didn’t end there; Almost unctuously, he led us to a door, opened it and didn’t quite bow and we passed him. Feeling I needed to do something I said, “Thanks!” but the door closed before the ‘nks’ got out.

It was like trailing a parade of escalating confusions. Jerry was the epitome of confidence, good humor, affection…once the door swung shut on Herb, he had his arm around my shoulder, leaned over, kissed me while he fumbled in his pants for a key ring.

“Okay, I have one of these for you upstairs but it’s like mine…See, this row of doors, each has a separate key that summons the elevator and you want….” He paused as he inserted the key in a very discreet lock. “…what’s behind door number three.” There was a pause while the elevator came to us, the door opened, we walked in, stood there…”then you take the same key and stick it in here” indicating another lock “ turn it, that closes the door then touch here, number 38.” Off we went, up to 38 and whatever was there which, I assumed, was his apartment. But when the door opened, it was like….somehow it had missed and left you in the back hall, very small space, some tables, fake ferns, couple of doors…None of which had anything on them such as a number or a name…he picked the one in front of us, no lock, opened the door, put his arm around me, guided me in and, with a hug said, “Welcome home.”

Remember “The Wizard of Oz” when Dorothy and her tornadic bound home land…somewhere then she opens the door to find it’s all in glorious technicolor as opposed to the drab farm house? I empathized with her even though I hadn’t been carried off by a tornado, a Rolls substituted, and my place was pleasant, comfortable for me, not the colorless farm house, this was a version of Oz. “My God Jerry, do you live here?”

He threw his arms around me, hugged me, kissed me, “Well, I did live here alone but now….I’ve got this great man who’s going to move in…”

“Me? Here?” I’d meant to bring up the Jag but suddenly I was distracted by a change of venue on which I’d not even contemplated. As with many people struck dumb by events, my next statement was out of context but more like it had been snagged from my stream of consciousness..

“I don’t even know your last name…”

“Keller, what’s yours?”

Why was I embarrassed? It was my name, always had been but for him I wanted something that seemed more…address appropriate. “It’s Jones, I’m Mathew Jonathan Jones, M. J. J. are the initials on my bath sheet.”

“Fair enough, I’m Jeremy Sedgfield Keller, at your service, Sir”. And smiled his wonderful smile. “This is…all for us but right now, come on, we’ve got Christmas! Lets get you cleaned up, dressed up, Shadow, I’ve missed you so much…please say you’re pleased…just a little bit.”

This shift to being concerned about my reaction came as a surprise but then so did my immediate reaction. “It’s like….like the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco…a John took me there for a long week end.” It wasn’t quite the answer he was expecting but then…I hadn’t expected the question.

We found a room that had a least one familiar thing, the bed. Even had the graph printed sheets I remembered. Jerry was stripping so I did as well. Remembering the bathroom at his last place, I thought I was prepared for what this one might be but….I wasn’t. Who expects floor to ceiling windows in a bathroom, even on one side of the small sectioned off part where the shitter was. Who can sit, mentally comfortable, on a toilet knowing that anyone who passes…and I know that seems weird but cop helicopters, misguided pilots…not to mention if you were sensitive to heights, your right knee was, perhaps eighteen inches from a thirty eight story drop.

“Uh, Jerry? Probably just me but…I kinda like to think I’m unobserved when I’m taking doing number 2 and this glass….”

He laughed. “That glass, all the glass in all the bathrooms that look out have a one way mirrored finish so even if a window washer was directly outside, he could see nothing. Trust me, I had that same feeling the first couple of times.” I could hear him doing…whatever. “Bout ready to be washed and waxed? Shower is at a perfect temperature…come on, we both know we like showers.”

This shower is what is known as a rain room, no door just water in jets, fountains, all manner of thick and thin sprays and, with the push of a button, it organized itself so in the water or the adjacent locker, it was a version of the fountains at the Bellagio in Las Vegas.

Big smile on Jerry’s face. “Remember last time? I was so tired you had to carry me into the shower then give me a wonderful cleaning, soaping, rinsing, massaging, well, it’s turn about time. This time you’re the exhausted one, cuz you are, and I’m the guy who’s going to fix you up, get you ready then….we’ll go have Christmas!”

Which is what he did and, I must say, did it very well. Of course the shower he had far eclipsed the one at his old place, even to having a seat that….shot a stream of water up your ass and, that wasn’t all, you could control the strength, heat and whether there was soapy water in it. Also, the seat acted as a catchment so whatever came up and out dirty, didn’t get on the floor, just drained away. “Saw that in Japan, had to have one, I love it, thought of you getting me on the toilet…don’t need to dip your fingers in cold water here.

God he had a beautiful body. Strong, just the right amount of hair, nothing overly muscular just no question but that he was very strong. One last rinse and he proved it. With both of us dripping wet, he carried me to a towel covered massage table, put some oval coverings over my eyes, told me to relax and get some sun, go to sleep, if I did, he’d come in and roll me over so both sides were tanned.

Apparently I did go to sleep; It had been a long day followed by a succession of surprises so I was ready to relax. When I woke up, I’d been turned over, oil spread on me, as it had been on my front…and Jerry was standing there, that amazing smile on his face, so different from the expression he wore the first time I met him.

“Hey, get some good nap time?”

I rolled on my side and looked at him. “I guess, felt good, fuck, Jerry, everything around here, what I’ve seen feels good and you, well I know how you feel and you’re beyond anyway of using superlatives. Mind if…well…if just for now you’re my Jerry and I can be your Matt, just for now, just for Christmas…I’m guessing there’s nobody anxiously waiting for either of us to come home and surprise them..although with my family, shock would be more like it. I don’t honestly know how many of them are even still living, some, surely but however many there are, They Are Not Looking For Me.” And in the back of my mind an evil thought; Having been shunned for my evil ways, my crimes against God and the state, my being a, a prostitute-I corrected them and said, ‘whore’-They almost stood at the door, heads in the air, their fingers pointing out into what they hoped was a cold dark night that would swallow me into hell.

Nah, that’s not what happened but my Old Testament Dad did make it clear that my continued presence or return should not be on my score card. However, let us say that I pulled up and parked the Rolls, or the Jag, in the driveway, really well dressed, and invited them out to see just what the wages of sin bought….

“Matt, what are you thinking? Thought I’d lost you there…anything wrong?”

I took him in my arms, hugged him, kissed him. “Nothing wrong, just a joke I told myself. Come on, you’re the tour leader here, what’s next?”

Next was something like the men’s part at any fine department store. Sure there were closets but each of us, I was told, had a dressing room where the bulk of our clothes were kept. He apologized for not having more for me but…there were some size issues so he’d had to guess.

Everyone should be as good a guesser as Jerry. For our quiet Christmas Eve at home he thought I’d be comfortable in some over the calf Cashmere socks, choice of soft jock or comfortable briefs or commando, soft flannel pants that buttoned up and were tied at the top with a draw string then to keep, his words, my nipples warm, a wonderfully soft Cashmere sweater. All of this in shades of gray which looked great. We moved to his dressing room.

Jerry, who did have excellent and almost unerring taste in what made the man handsome and well turned out, had a version of what I had on but his were all in shades of toast. Also, from several boxes of shoes, he extracted a pair of soft soled suede shoes, in grey, for me and a similar pair in deep brown for him. And that was how we were dressed to spend a languid Christmas knowing that at the end, all this would be removed, dropped on a floor as we dropped on his graphic print sheets and fucked one another. That was in the future. For now he got me just so far down a hall, put his hands over my eyes-I could hear the quiet clicking of switches, then he walked me into a room, uncovered my eyes and there was Christmas, tree, decorations, glowing fire and…a glowing smile on Jerry.

“Go on, start opening….it’s all for you.”

“Jerry, you can’t be serious….I can’t accept all this, you’re a great guy and very, very generous but this….this is just too much. Without looking I know it’s probably expensive, that’s just you and it’s not that I’m against having expensive gifts but… too many of them makes it hard to appreciate any of them. I have you which is the best thing I could ask for….didn’t think I’d ever get you again so…all this is just…overkill.”

His great smile….”Shadow…I’ve been picking up things for you….I’d see something and thing, gee, I bet Shadow would like that so, I’d buy, put it some place and in the mess and chaos of moving, I had no idea what or how much I’d bought until maybe a week ago when Jeff got a hold of me and….you know the rest. When I looked through it, I could not believe….some of it is…utter trash, junk, stuff I saw and thought of you…just start opening and you’ll see…”

He stuck his hand in an opening between the pillows and pulled out two boxes then came to sit beside me on the floor by the mound of gifts by the beautiful tree. “Uhm, these two, uhm, aren’t trash but they’re things I want you to have…so…here.”

Unwrapped, but with a name such as the one already on the deep navy blue velvet box, wrapping would have been a waste of time. It was the gold watch…the other was the chain necklace. Silently he put first one then the other on me, gently pulled me to him, kissed me and started to stand and move away until I grabbed him, pulled him back, kissed him with more fervor, pushed him to the floor and thought about going a bit further; It was Christmas and everyone was celebrating. He laughed, pushed back, sat up, kissed me again then pulled a gift from the stack.

“No idea but…start with this one.”

I fingered the chain around my neck. “Anyone one of these contain a gold leash…?” I was only a little serious. “First thing I ever handed you, the leash to the collar around my neck.”

Jerry smiled, lay back on the carpet put both fists over his eyes. “Shadow, oh my God, Shadow….I seriously thought about a new collar and leash…early on, thought I could keep you with me.”

“Should’ve done it, I’ve worn a collar for guys before…some guys make a real sort of ritual out of it when they collar a guy.”

“Maybe but how long did you stay collared after this ritual?”

I had to smile so I turned away. “Oh, depended.”

“Um hmmm. I bet. Probably depended until the meter ran out and the flag popped up. You wouldn’t wear a collar for another man and you know it.”

“I would if you would.”

“Wear a collar?”

“Yep. Nice solid metal collar, something discrete, but a collar is a collar so… would you?”

He rolled up supporting himself on his elbows. “I guess, well I hope, you mean if we each wore a collar for the other, you and me, collared, that about right?”

“About… But Jerry, men who do that are very serious not only about the meaning of the collar but what they mean to each other. You know this but wearing a collar usually mean you are owned, as in a slave/master arrangement and that would never, ever do for us.”

We both laughed at the notion.

“We could try it around the house…Okay, now for fucks sake, start opening or we’ll never get finished here and go to bed.”

“Guess I get a big present there, huh?” as I reached for a wrapped box.

“Kinda though it might be an exchange of gifts, you know, man to man type gifts…”

I smiled, pulled him over, kissed him and then launched into project unwrap.

The man had not lied; Whenever he’d thought of something or seen something or….he’d bought it. I was surprised to find a bath sheet that said, “Rods Barber Shop” as a gift with his explanation there hadn’t been enough time to have my initials added. Also, Jerry must be a sucker for all the junk that’s sold in convenience stores as there was an amazing selection, so much so that the haul from one store was dumped in a box and wrapped-no future in opening each plastic bit of nonsense one at a time. Also, he was a sucker, again, for T shirts with “sayings” or illustrations on them. In one or two cases they were marginally clever but in others, I just looked at him in wonder which caused him to raise his hands and pull a face that said, ‘I don’t know why, at the time….’ But in amongst the out and out crap, there were some amazing gifts, a coffee table book on the art of shaving, actually several books all on topics that would interest me which also showed how in tune with me he was.

One gift, sort of back under the branches, he grabbed before I could get it and open it. Played that wrong, if he’d just laughed said something like,….’Imagine what you can get at an EXXON station’ I quite likely would not have bothered-by then I’d waded through an extensive collection of useless stuff so avoiding looking into yet another treasure trove of similar would have been a relief. However, his snatching it away naturally roused my curiosity and all paper and ribbon pulling apart stopped while I looked at him, held out my hand and waited.

“Listen, Shadow, please, I bought this a long time ago and I promise you I was in a weird mood, just do me a favor, don’t open it…..”

But of course I did. Surprisingly heavy, it also clanked. Handcuffs? The box told me nothing, whatever was within was currently reposing in a container that, according to the printing on the outside, had previously contained 24 flash frozen chicken breasts. I rolled my eyes at him, practiced the stare while I opened it and, without looking, dumped in on the floor; One collar and heavy chain-detachable. “Sorry, I didn’t have a chance to get one for you….but if you want me to wear this, then that’s the other half of the deal.”

He was genuinely sorry and tears were just beyond his eyes. “Shadow, please, just, please….I don’t know why I even bought it, shouldn’t have, shouldn’t have wrapped it….Please.”

“What would it mean to you to have this on me, for you to put it on me? There has to be a reason for it, why did you buy it?”

I took it in my hands, the lights from the beautiful tree glinted from it as I pressed it toward him. “Here, if this was your fantasy, I care enough about you to indulge you….because, Jerry, I believe one of your fantasies, lots of my, uh, customers have it, is to have a man who must yield to them, must be their slave du jour. Just like that first night, I was paid to do anything you wanted…and I would have but right now, I still will do anything you want, not because I’ve been paid but because I want to please a man about whom I care a whole lot. We didn’t spend almost a year looking for each other, going through all the approach avoidance bullshit to fail on this one thing.”

He was a take down as I threw him onto the carpet, grabbed him and kissed him in the best way I knew and for a very long time…while with one hand I searched and found the collar.

When we finally got unsnarled-he was as fine a kisser as any man I’d ever kissed-I handed him the collar. “Here, now….you can always take it off but unless you put it on at least once, experience what that’s like regardless of feelings for me, in that one instant, I have to be in your mind a possession….Take it.”

He almost loathed himself as he took it in his hand, the chain falling away to …somewhere. I pulled down, with no reason, the collar of my sweater present my neck to him. I did not move toward him but, slowly, tremblingly, he held in in two hand then plunged forward, it surrounded my neck and snapped closed.

One hand on my pants, one on his. “Fuck me. I’m all yours, you’ve just made sure so to seal the deal, fuck me now and hard, I want to bleed from your possession….”

What I knew was he felt so debased at doing what he’d done, forgetting he’d bought the collar with the implicit thought that what I’d just demanded we do was his intention however long ago the purchase was made.

Leaning over, I took his cock in my mouth and went to whore’s work, making the asparagus stalk grow hard, thick, ready to have it spill sauce from it but Jerry, now sobbing, trying to pull my head from his crotch…didn’t have one iota of stiff in him, just remorse and trying to find a way to restitution, forgiveness to get back his Shadow with the smart mouth and educated ass….I leaned up, kissed him while, I could feel, his hands went around my neck, unsnapped the collar which was then thrown. Somewhere nearby there was a crash. Hoped it wasn’t expensive but in his home, probably was.

“Open your eyes…Jerry, open them for me.” What he saw was a smile and arms going to hold him. He started to say something but I put a finger over his lips. This time when I kissed him, it was like one who cares deeply for the other; He relaxed into it as we rolled back on the carpet.

Right then, while decades away from a Hallmark Moment, it was definitely a GQ moment although….maybe a bit too domestic, too implying of what might happen…seized on L’Homme Vogue, surely the French wouldn’t care what went on later and, depending on the furnishings both on the room and on us, might make a pleasant spread. Comfortable laying there. Both of us had idly busy hands, rubbing, massaging, just being at rest on the other. Occasionally leaning over and kissing with our eyes open so we could each see the smile on the face of the other…

“Hungry?”

“I could eat but I’m not at the carnivorous stage….why? you forget and let the coffee maker turn itself on….” Remembering the last time.

“Nope, had a catering service come in, stock the place, no cooking, just some things can be heated, some nuked, some are cold…no idea what they made but it’s at least edible even if we don’t like it.”

“Well, at least we have built in protein packs.” Smiled as I rubbed his cock and nuts which started to heat up.

“Whoa there, big fella, I absolutely plan to eat what you’ve got to offer but, sorry, that’s soul food, food for the soul and food that men eat…naked sitting at a small table just looking at each other.” I looked at him as he started to pull his sweater over his head.

“I was told that nude goes with everything.” He helped me out of mine, pulled off my pants, tossed my shoes somewhere leaving only those great, warm socks. Obviously, I was operating on him at the same time.

“Okay, Chef Boy Ar Dee, I don’t know where the food around here is kept so…I’ll just take your hand and we can look around together.”

Sounds dumb, doesn’t it, two grown man strolling through an over decorated apartment but….it’s the sort of intimacy that larger, more overt acts lack, personal, touching, assuring.

He pulled open a door and I almost jumped into his arms. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Are you sure this isn’t the morgue? How much stainless steel can you get in one room? Please tell me if you pull out a drawer you get dishes or pots and pans not Mrs. Van Arsdale, her toe ticketed and waiting for her family to send the mortuary of their choice to collect her.”

“Shadow, I gotta be honest, since I moved in, I just opened the drawers where I knew there was something I needed like dishes or silver. I don’t really cook.” True, I spotted the stainless steel oven, at least six dozen burners and God only knew how many ovens. But the thing to notice was that….over each of them was a paper strip, the sort that comes on new things that have never been used; The same applied to quite a number of things including two sinks and a couple of appliances I didn’t even recognize and wondered if Jerry was a perplexed as I was. Almost apologetically, among the grandeur, was a modest microwave oven, some instant coffee, a mug with eating utensils, a few plates…that was it. Whatever lurked inside the shelves and cupboards remained untouched, unused…the thrifty person I am wondered what they might bring on ebay….just for my own curiosity I opened a door and found…nothing. I looked at Jerry….

“Yeah, well, I didn’t unpack all that stuff, ‘member, I don’t cook?”

“Well I do and given the crap you’ve got around here, I fully intend to cook some meals for you. May not be what you’d like, but it won’t kill you and…..I guarantee it will be edible. Hey, I live alone and in my neighborhood, no fast food, no cozy corner cafes, I don’t have a car…”

“…you do now…”

“Uh, yeah, we’ll get back to that…so whatever I can get when someone is kind enough to take me to the market is what I cook and eat. When I cook here, that’s what you’ll eat and like or….best not to suggest that to the chef, hear he’s a real prick when criticized.”

“I know about that prick…”

I turned around and leaned against the counter; On my naked flesh, the stainless was cold, not inducing to lean back, watch somebody cook. “Look, Jerry, about that car…”

“You mean the Jag, hey, if you’d like something else…”

“Jerry, you gotta listen to me, this matters. When I saw that Rolls parked behind my home I almost choked. That it wasn’t stolen or missing all the tires, hadn’t been ripped apart was just sheer blind luck.” But a thought…”Did Little Jeff or one of the guys in a cruiser happen to see you drive in?”

“Yes, not Jeff but one of the guys, real nice, seemed surprised to see me…”

“More like he was stunned to see that car. Jerry, my wonderful stupid Jerry, you really need to have a better grip on my reality, about where I live, work, exist….there just are no cars like that unless they’re stuffed in a garage and hot, just waiting for a closed transport to haul them to Mexico or…wherever. I have Absofuckinglutely no doubt that whoever saw you and that car called out the troops. Maybe you didn’t see it, that was the idea, but for the time you were upstairs, about the only place safer it could have been would be the Sistine Chapel….while the Cardinals worked on electing a Pope.”

“So….”

“So the Rolls, the Jag, any expensive bike….they stay here or with you, just not, let me say this again and I’ll get Rod, Sam, little Jeff, Skip all to tell you just what would, not might, happen if one of them shows up at my place. Are we clear?”

“Yeah but…Shadow…that leaves you without transportation…”

“Until you and I get duded up like peasants and go buy a pickup that looks beat up but is really structurally and engine wise, sound…might ask Jake as…”

“He’s the last guy you slept with.” Clearly this was a large stone in his mind.

“Jerry, you need to understand that no matter when you came back into my life, there would always be … ‘the last guy I slept with’ just happens this was Jake.”

“Yeah well, you seem….”

“Stop it right there, Mister and listen to me and listen good. I caught Jake just before he was gonna commit suicide, or that’s what I thought. Now, I’m one of the few people he has who has nothing to do with the past, never knew the guy, wouldn’t recognize him if I saw him and, yeah, I fucked Jake, for that, he fucked me. This is a nice guy whom, I’m hoping, you’ll meet and like. We’re broad minded or I hope to fuck we are, let him bunk in with us once or twice. Jerry, you’re just gonna believe me on this one. In what I’ll call my whole professional career, as a whore, a slut, pick the term you like best, only two men have ever captured my emotions and Jake is the other one. You can’t figure out who’s number one and….”

He held onto me, tight and hard. “Shadow, oh, jeez, Shadow, I promise I’ll never be jealous….”

“Fuckin’ A, you’d better be jealous cuz I promise you, some jerk looks at your ass and smiles and I’m going to be jealous…how’s them egg rolls? Now, for the love of God find food in this stainless palace, my ass is freezing. Cooked or not, the fire place is going, meat on a stick, latest thing in franchises.”

Eventually he did find, carefully packed and labelled, something that proved to be a very good beef stew once it had a trip through the microwave. Not bothering with plates we each collected a fork, closed the lid and hauled back to the bedroom. Propped up with loads of pillows, we ate while watching part of his, surprisingly good, collection of gay porn. Nothing to get aroused about but certainly contained with some suggestions as to what two men could do with one another. To explain how good it was, the guys spoke, you could easily hear them and there was the semblance of a plot.

“I haven’t had the guided tour yet. This place have a dungeon or is Herb the dungeon master?”

Jerry laughed, “Nope, no dungeon, for that….we, uh, we’d have to go someplace else.”

Really, I thought, some place else. Some place Jerry knows. A dungeon or something like one. I didn’t press the subject but certainly filed it away for future discussion combined with what he liked to do, if he liked to do anything, while there, if he’d been there.

Food time passed, we had finished Christmas, whatever drama of the day would be had been. Jerry was leaning against me, waiting for some sign that we/he/I should initiate some sort of sex; Didn’t matter what, just sex. In a sense, Jerry had accomplished all he set out to do which was find me, get me to his place then make love to me and go from there. In the back of my mind the fly in his ointment was that it was clear he assumed I would want to move in with him, give up the street, the barber shop, find happiness in monogamy with him. I’d never said that and this wasn’t the time to start a debating society on the topic, this was a holiday, I knew sex with him was great, that we were both motivated so the best thing to do was…..find a starting place and continue on as long as we wanted. To that end, I pulled him to me, put my arms around him then placed my face on his, nuzzled him until I got to his lips and remember what a good kisser he was. After that… all we needed to do was what our dicks dictated and it would be fine.

It was.

Have to admit it, my days of working my ass off to get a trick going and then gone interfered with Jerry’s gentle approach to sex, his soft way of holding whatever part of you he was holding. Your cock, spreading your ass, your ball sack, your nipples, he came upon each of them as if surprised, pleasantly so, to find them and once there, discovering the better things to be done. He was selfless in that he honestly cared more about your happiness and satisfaction than his….all of which made me wonder…who’d he been with before I came along? That was another question for another time but…kind of important. We were both trying to find the best to each other and that had nothing to do with sex, it has to do with the boring ongoing life in which things such as the cleaning needs to be picked up, your dentist appointment to be kept all those things that populate real life and do not depend on SEX. Unless, of course, you were screwing your dentist or the guy at the cleaners. I’d never asked but it was beyond obvious that Jerry had a substantial amount of money but how much and its source were unknown and, frankly, but only to some degree, it wasn’t my business.

The time and the freedom to do to each other, for each other, about each other is a drug few ever get to swallow. There is an implicit no holds barred but it’s never said, just assumed. My experience with Jerry was A-typical in that we first spent the night then fucked. That was great but time was running backward and, in my mind, I knew I had an additional task for that day and I would have to be there. That said, his magnificent body and sexual technique were so memorable that even if I’d drifted into dementia and forgot his name, I’d remember how he made love and fucked at the same time, a hard to connect duo. Now, with time only a matter of what was on a clock, we could do what we wanted and that’s what we did. Pauses just to rest or simply enjoy a handling of bodies, those great kisses, nipple nibbling, ball washing, cock head teasing, discovering we both could and liked to be fisted, two overworked, but happy, perineums, and then, four or five hours into this a shy voice in my ear….”Shadow, do you think, I mean there’s something I never told you but….would you tie me up then whip my cock?”

“Would it make you happy?”

He didn’t answer but extended his wrists, palms out and whispered which drawer in which to look for…things.

Great jumping Jesosephat, he didn’t need a dungeon, he just needed to rearrange one of his chain filled closets. That innocent looking massage table? Surrounded underneath with tie downs, chains of all sorts and weights. Pad locks, Ice locks, cock locks…clearly we needed or we would need more than one evening or one month to sort through and find what he liked then there was what I liked. Oddly, some of the rough stuff was what I liked I just never associated it with Jerry, now I did and that was a relief, no more holding back, he wanted to be fucked, okay, I was coming in full blast harder than the hard points on a missile and just as primed. He sighed and whimpered simultaneously. His screams when the ball compressor went on, when I used the elastrator on the head of his cock…sweat had so permeated the sheets I worried we’d slide off. Finally, having him spread eagled, tautly held, I gave him the fuck he had thought I might have, the long, slow, hard, deep fuck with a cock that does not soften, that pulses as blood rushes to it to reinforce the girth, the depth, the knowledge that I would and would enjoy drawing blood from him as I tore my own cock and, finally, releasing a bit of him, rolled him over so we could have a bloody 69 ending with both of us shooting gouts of whatever was left in us to shoot.

I lay on him panting with exertion and the knowledge that this had been special, we could not do it, nor should we try to do it, often but it was back there, hunkering down, waiting for the moment when we both needed the pain, the exultation of one man over another, the deep fuck that went beyond just mortal breeding but sent our semen into the soul of the other.

I released him, took him in my arms and cried because I knew, now, he loved pain and I could give it to him without concern or worries about going too far; Neither of us had a ‘too far’ or a necessity for ‘safe words’ and though I would be, marginally the dominant, only a superb submissive can make you the sort of quiet dominant that other men sense, shy away from even your sub is a matter of respect.

I could barely walk but went to the living room on a hunting expedition, found in the papers and the carnage what I wanted, came back and gently put the collar around his neck for now it had meaning, it was appropriate. He could wear it with pride as he’d earned it; Other men would know and realize without speculation that those two men, the quiet ones looking at each other, had passed simple sex and found the complex actions of all the disciplines combined refined into their acts of love and sex. We were two men to be honored, respected and admired.

I whispered in his ear, “I hope you remember where you bought this as you’re gonna need to buy another just like it….”

“Yeah, I am aren’t I?”

How long did we sleep? Didn’t matter. Having already experienced the kitchen I woke first, by intention, found some indoor mukluks, visited the steel palace, made coffee and a flotilla of good things for breakfast, found a footed table that had casters, loaded it and took it to the bedroom where Jerry was only just on the event horizon of waking.

Putting a mug of hot coffee near him then rolling him on his tummy so his nose was near it, I offered him one more thing for breakfast, me. Going slow, I slid into him then leaned down so we could both have our coffee while he enjoyed at very slow fuck…just for the pleasure of feeling me in him.

“You make good coffee….bet you didn’t use the automatic thing did you?”

“Nope” and thrust just a little, not enough to cause his mug to spill.

“Nice way to begin the day and, by the way, Merry Christmas…sorry I’m out of gifts for you.”

“You’re giving me one right now, your terrific ass, you are lucky, mister, to have an ass like this one and doubly lucky to have a whore who has a basis for comparison to know just how good it is.” I took a slurp.

“Think you could lay on top of me, just as we are all day?”

“No, I’d get bored and so would you. Put your mug down, I’m going to give you a morning gift then pull out to join you under the covers.”

This was what I learned as a whore, how to do things quickly yet leave the customer feeling I’d enjoyed it; As the customer was Jerry, I had enjoyed it.

Lying beside him, one of his arms over my back, good coffee at hand…it was a Merry Christmas. “Seriously, Jerry, I wish I had something, even a token of a gift just to show how grateful I am to you how much I care….”

“Can you say the word ‘love’?”

“ Yeah, but not in the context you want it, not yet, maybe sometime and, Sir, you can’t use it that way either. I don’t know what we are to each other….not partners, not lovers, more than good friends….let’s not get all twisted up, just enjoy each other, we seem to do that pretty well.”

He rolled on his side and hit me with that smile of his. “Yeah, we do, don’t we. Shadow…..”

“Uhm?”

“Can you stay over tonight….I got us some jammies…” And we both laughed.

“Well, I’ll have to call home and ask my Mom, she may have chores she wants me to do but I think it’s a pretty safe bet that, yeah, I can have a sleep over just, please, no jammies.”

“These have footies in them.”

“You’re giving me a reason not to want to stay.”

“Sorry, we’ll sleep however you want just so long as it’s in this bed. Kinda …. Our bed. I had to look for these sheets, glad I found them.”

“So am I.” After my first visit to Jerry’s tail, I needed to slip off to the john for a couple of moments. Whores like a clean cock, you never know how soon you may need it for you next customer and it’s no good having a bit of the former tenant stuck to you. Jerry just accepted that I needed to go to the bathroom. As I walked away, smiling, I could hear him make that noise men make when they’re really stretching and I could picture his body….At the top, crowning the shoulders and emphasizing his strong neck was the collar.

Put my finger under it, turned it and him to me. “See, feels good, doesn’t it, just like mine will feel.”

He dipped his head, his face got that silly smile when they agree but aren’t quite willing to say the words. “Tomorrow soon enough for you? Chain?”

“Yeah, I’m always good for collaring tomorrow and neither of us needs chains…..at least those that go around our necks.” And winked at him. Whores learn how to wink salaciously but only the person being winked for you to have one and not me.” I tried a little boy pout, shuffled one foot under the other; Shit, I was soooo far from pulling off that one…Jerry just laughed, took it off and carefully handed it to me to place it where we could find it the next day.

In my mind there was only one place, just a bit out of reach. Back to the Stainless Palace, opened some doors, found what I knew had to be somewhere, brought it back, put it by the tree, climbed the ladder holding the collar, took down the Angel and collared the tree. Looked good, all sparkly and gold.

“Thought there were five golden rings?”

“Nope, just two and the second is on layaway some place. Suggestion, for the love of God, Jerry, don’t take the rolls. Listen, while we’re looking for transport for me, lets find you a car that does not make people think what they’ll think when they see that Rolls and a handsome man in it…”

“What if there are two hot looking guys?”

“Don’t fuck with me, Jerry, these are words from my turf and, I promise you, I could get witnesses to agree with me out the door, down the elevator and past Herb. If he’d let them in….”

“Well there’s the Ja….” I put my hand over his mouth. “Let Herb drive it, give it to some charity to raffle off, they’ll love you but, Jerry, I’m letting you slide about the Rolls, it’s a rich mans toy, but the Jag…that was bought for a kept man something I will never be. Two collars make that very plain at least to you and me.”

We stood there, looking at each other, understanding each other, wanting each other. “Aw fuck, lets go back to bed.”

“Before the coffee gets cold?”

“Fuck the coffee.” I liked it when he picked me up, kissing me as he went, shame he wasn’t more familiar with his own home or we might not have crashed into a wall.

“Jesus, Shadow, are you alright?”

“Remember, we play rough and since we’re on a flat surface, maybe the powers that be had something in mind and that was their cue….”

The balance day was one of doing nothing but having fun doing it. We revisited the mess by the tree, noted the collar had slipped a bit to one side giving it a rakish air-not wholly inappropriate- sorted out the trash from the good stuff, tossed out the papers-he commented on my desire to tidy up and was explained to that when you live alone, if you don’t pick up pretty quick you can’t even get in the front door due to all the stuff that needed picking up but hadn’t been.

“Want to put on some clothes? There are some you haven’t tried…”

“I’m your…almost said guest…what am I? Visitor? Yeah but checking out the dump to see if it will do? Checking out the tenant whom I know will do….Or just considering what we need to do about a lot of things. For example, you know what I do, but…what do you do?”

We’d come to rest on the long, slightly curved couch that looked out the window to the magnificent view, if the day were clear, I wondered if you could actually see open spaces, maybe even a farm or two….

“Construction. It was Grand Dad’s company, then my dad and now me. Never went to college…” There was a surprise. “…day I graduated High School I walked out the door, pulled on my hard hat and went to the job site. Didn’t please many but my Dad understood and took my side when the arguments about college, the good it would do me, the social experience….to which he said, he knew his son and working with the men was the sort of social experience he thought I’d like and down the line, would be more useful than fraternities dances.” Jerry paused and looked out…someplace.

“He died?”

“Yeah, bout two years ago….like your Jake…industrial accidental, damn near killed me, couldn’t have been prevented and knowing Dad, I’m not sure he would have….he was trying how to step back and let me run things, just was too used to having control to really do it. The accident solved that but…..it fucking near killed me. Uh, Mom couldn’t take it, went into a decline and then into dementia…I go and see her…you could go, too but she wouldn’t know either of us.”

I had to stop this, he was running into the past and it wasn’t doing him any good so I slapped him. Back and forth. First, he looked shocked, then broke into tears, that’s when I changed to sympathy mode, held him, stroked his head, took a finger to wipe his tears but let him bawl, he’d needed to and with somebody was far better than living in a truck crying by yourself….and I thought of Jake, just momentarily, but I thought of him.

We sat like that, he was slack but leaning into me, I was holding him to me, easily massaging his back, for a long time. Eventually the tears stopped but left him pulling back from the emotional free fall he’d almost been in.

“Shadow?”

“Yes.”

“Can I say I love you?”

“No. But what you can say is….if I were to love any man, it’d be you….leaves the door open to a time when the simple, declarative sentence will be true and because I can say to you, if there were any man I were to love, it would be you….”

We sat that way, him in my arms, the beautiful scene out the window, the mess that was now Christmas past, one collared man, another to come…Life on the Thirty Eighth floor. Somehow I doubted if there was a chain link fence in the neighborhood though knowing Jerry, he’d probably have one put up….just for me.

Before we got cramps, not that sitting holding one another wasn’t pleasant-it was-but we needed to be moving before we got stuck and couldn’t get up. “Come on, my Collared One, up, lets grab a quick shower-“

He laughed, “When was our last ‘quick shower’?”

“Don’t push me, I’ll think of it. Okay, lets go spend as much time in the shower as we want then…we’ll think of something else to do.”

“There are other bathrooms, other showers…”

“Great, well, we’ll leave those for the guests for whom they were intended, come on Fido, before I have to leash train you and, I promise, you won’t like it…..or maybe you will. I know what you won’t like, the trip to the Vet where I have you ‘fixed’ so I’m the only man and you’re my bitch.”

He mocked putting his knees tightly together and laughed.

The shower did take longer, a lot longer, than either of us planned. Something we’d done once, back at my place, seemed to suggest itself as Jerry was sitting on the contraption that washed and waxed your ass, inside and out. When he finished, back to the shower….”

“Coach, what’d I do wrong, come on coach, I’m good, that bone sticking out, it ain’t nothing, I can play.”

“Yep, you shore ‘nuff can boy, and you’s about to play with me right now.” Shoving him in the shower the instant I turned on the cold water made him yelp, try and get out but I’d blocked the way, hit the warm and, in a second, the room was warm, moist, inviting.

“Boy, up on that thar bench, ass out….we’s gonna play…hide the football…I git to go first.”

Jerry was no fool, instantly remembered that first night and knew that we both enjoyed fisting which was about what he was about to get.

“Slime or dry?”

“From my man? Dry.”

This went against everything I would usually do, dry is not safe, can injure your partner very easily but….was as intimate an act as I could immediately think of. Just in case, I stepped out, found some lotion that seemed to have a high viscosity, lightly rubbed my arm up to my elbow and slowly, oh so slowly started in with just a few fingers.

Some men are hard to open, resist it, others have either had their closure muscles snipped or have had so much shit stuffed up them, their butt lips don’t close but Jerry, like Baby Bear’s bed, was just right. His ass was smooth, free from hair and ‘growths’ like pimples, blackheads and their friends from the wonderful world of dermatology. Also, he’d worked hard all his life so there was no bubble butt, but a strong, man’s ass that probably could be used to center a steel I beam however, for my purposes…just the first three fingers told me this was going to be a genuine pleasure for both of us.

I slipped in all five fingers, began to slowly form them into a loose fist, leaned in, licked and kissed his ass while oh so slowly started down his anus. Once inside, the juices it normally produced were there and in sufficient quantity to make other lubricants pointless; Had to have been because he was so relaxed, wanted this so badly, wanted the man whose collar he was wearing to be the one fisting him….it just all worked. The danger here wasn’t going to slowly, it was that his sphincter muscles were shooing me along, as if to say, that’s it, son, there’s a prostate just ahead that has your name on it, go on, git, scram, go for it. Both of us were moaning for separate reasons.

“Give me the other one, double it…”

Now we were into very serious territory. I could do it, had done it but not dry and not with someone who was essentially doing it the first time with me although, clearly, it wasn’t his first-or probably fiftieth-time for that.

“Okay, but, I gotta smear some lube, it’s too dangerous and, there’s a good side, it feels really great…”

Getting that second fist in was not easy; While my hands are not that large, they’re not petite and Jerry’s ass was only modestly wider than most; Right at that moment, I would have put money on the fact that he frequently wore a butt plug, and a good sized one. Somehow, his jokey comments about knowing where a dungeon was began to have more than the ring of truth, it was the whole fucking carillon of veracity.

On the inside, one hand had found the other, had clasped which made a good sized, round object that was great to play with. With two fingers I could tweak his prostate while using a thumb, I pressed on the soft tissue which, on the outside, would be his perineum. The difficulty for me, anyone who does this, isn’t the hands, it’s your arms particularly if you have heavily muscled forearms as we both did-a thought as I was three quarters of the way toward asking him to return the favor; No question he knew how to do it, in this sort of play, no one does just one thing, whatever your personal preferences. (I made a mental note to ‘suggest’ to him that he put in a sling with tie downs on the chains, thought he’d like that…if he hadn’t already had it that way. Again, that question about the dungeon….)

As deep in him as I was my head was resting on its side on some of his lower Lumbar vertebrae-when I wasn’t licking his ass. He was so clearly enjoying it, I was so clearly enjoying doing it that I wept, something he’d never see, because it was as happy as I’d been maybe…forever.

I said it, he didn’t, “Time to start out so be prepared, stay relaxed, okay, here comes the left arm……”. You don’t just snap out, it’s a slow process, some guys say they like the out almost better than the in; Jerry probably liked both and wouldn’t have minded if I’d given him a little piston action, both arms moving in opposite directions at the same time. Hey, had to leave a few things undone and untried.

Because I wanted to go slow, there was no reason to hurry, wanted to give him the best I could do, getting out took….maybe half an hour and then we were sitting by each other, his head was on my chest, my arm around his shoulders, just the top of an arm touched by his collar…..it was a quiet, good moment, the sort that defies the word intimacy as it’s beyond that, just you and another man having just been through an experience that you both wanted and found, in the doing, it was far better for both than either of you had expected.

He was deeply into sex. His hand first, then his head, came around and starting gnawing on my hard nipple which immediately sent a signal to my cock, “In coming!” This isn’t fair to criticize but…for all the other things sexual he knew how to do, this one seemed….either a skill recently and incompletely learned or he was trying to do what he’d seen in pictures or read about. As carefully as possible, I brought his face to mine, whispered that, for now, we both needed to cool down, that he was stoking my furnace. And I smiled.

“Good, I want you stoked, I want you….whenever you think of me and your collar to be stoked, have to put your hand down and rearrange ‘things’ so others won’t notice.”

But what we both noticed was that a phone, quite near us, was ringing. He pushed a panel and around swung…a phone.

“Yeah? This better be fucking important, like this building is on fire.”

He listened….”Buddy, it’s Christmas, I have guests…..well fuck, I don’t care if they don’t celebrate Christmas, I…no, I can’t….well, tough, fuck’em….yeah, have that translated and tell ‘em…….Camels? Did they stake you out in the full sun?....NO? well, that’s a promise It’ll keep when you get….Billions?....but only….No, I’ll think about it, no way out at this time of day….Yeah, fuck Christmas to you, too.” He smashed the phone back in its portal, collapsed his head in both hands.

“Interesting, isn’t it, how you don’t need to hear both sides of the conversation to know it all….Matt….the guy I almost love…Matt…I’m going to understand because when you almost love someone that’s what you do. Some old saying about friends are people who let their friends go…” I waited for, oh, I don’t know, long enough for me to compose myself…”You gotta go, I know that and, you know what? I’ll be here when you come back, probably hear you come in through the front door, turn around say something like, ‘well, it’s about time, did you get the groceries or did you forget them again?”

He laughed, “Shadow, you are a pistol.” Someone else had said that to me, once, not too long ago.

“Actually, I’m the whole shotgun, you just don’t know it yet.” And looked at him. “Come on, lets slip into something sexy that we’d like to be talked out of then go watch the sunset.”

“Uh, can’t, I bought this side cuz in summer , the heat, even with the mirrored glass can get this place up to broil.”

I hooked my index finger under his collar. “Who do you think you’re talking to? Some zilch you just met in the can at the saloon? This is your shadow speaking. Who said anything about having a real sun, just rack out on the couch, get comfortable with each other and imagine the sun setting on the other side of the building while we watch it grow grey then dark then the lights come on….My favorite hymn….I even sang a bit…’Now the day is over, night it drawing nigh, shadows of the evening, steal across the sky.”

“You have a favorite hymn? I thought I’d heard all the strange things for today but, damn you, Shadow, there you go again….”

“Wonder if this is the moment to tell you about the set of male triplets I fathered….?”

“No, that goes too far…have you ever even had sex with a woman? True?”

“Uh, that’d be negatory and now my little questioner, have you copulated with a female that didn’t have four legs and a wet nose?”

“To the dismay of my mother, no, Dad was alright with it, only thing he said when I first started, was to not let the guys fuck me or me want to fuck them….later, when I’d established myself and wasn’t just the bosses kid but up front? No.”

“So….it might be said that we’re two virgins sitting in a shower wondering whether we should let Butch or Bubba take our cherry at the Sock Hop tonight.”

“Jesus, Shadow, you make things alright…you really don’t mind if I go…?

“Well, given where and when we found out, I’m kinda glad the call didn’t come in somewhat earlier…Listen, Jerry, of course I’ll be sorry to see you go but, hey, we’ve already lived through one separation, kind of a long one if you think about it so….this is business, go, I’ll probably be here, well I know I’ll be here, waiting for you with whatever part of me you want opened first.”

He looked me…there was something he wanted to say but I wasn’t certain I wanted to hear it. Best way was to ‘head ‘em off at the pass’. “Listen, while you’re away, I’m gonna get some of the guys, guys who have been good and helpful to us to come by for a beer, a drink, something to eat when you get back. Not a lot, just, well, Rod obviously, little Jeff, Skip, Jake, the Captain, some of the street officers…

“Jake?”

I looked right at him, “Yeah, Jake. As I believe I told you, he’s got no one and needs to get out, not to meet anyone, just be with real people who have no connection to his past. Any friends of yours, let me know and I’ll see they’re here.”

He changed the subject. “Do you have an international satellite phone?”

I just stared at him. “Why would I have that? I barely know people on the edge of town, well, now you, but nope, no satellite phone.”

“I’ll have the office send one over and….maybe this is a good time for you to look for transportation….”I could see something was there and about to come up…”Didn’t you say you thought Jake could help? Maybe get something for me, so I can visit your other home, get a haircut, shave, pick you up from your fence…” He smiled.

“Yeup, we could work that out. But…you know, out calls are a lot more expensive than in calls and the price rises as the elevator does.”

“I think I can afford that. OH…you’ll need money for the truck or whatever the two of you buy, along with the phone I’ll have the office send you some cash…how much you figure you’ll need?”

“Jerry, I haven’t bought anything with wheels and a motor since the last lawn mower so….I don’t know. Less than the Rolls I’m guessing.” He smiled. “Make that a lot less than the Rolls. Hey, you need to get to getting, airline reservations, hotels there, packed…what do you need me to do that would help you the most?”

“It’s your collar, whatever you tell me to do…” Smiled.

Without noticing, it was past 10 and the plane he needed to be on to make the connection in New York left in less than twelve hours. That’s when I found that he was almost too casual. Sure, he was in the construction business but this trip involved meetings with, I assumed, government officials so a suit, tie, dress shoes… his usual ‘bag’ was a duffel in which everything was dumped-just now it was in the trunk of the Rolls so it was gettable. He was getting wound up so I called a halt, put him in bed, set the alarm, crawled in after him, insisted he get as much sleep as he could, gave him a quick fuck and suck, pulled the covers over us, wished him a really heartfelt thanks plus Merry Christmas and we all drifted off to sleep.

Morning. It was all easier than I’d thought even though there were some surprises. Apparently on one of his visits to the toilet room, he’d called someone at his office only they must have been at home which meant the door bell rang just as I was making coffee. In the nude. Didn’t matter, they just handed in an envelope and a box then left. We sat down to a hearty-I’ve been reading oatmeal boxes-meal when he handed me the satellite phone, explained I could call him whenever and wherever, just make sure I kept it charged. Another thick envelope which he handed to me without comment, had ‘truck’ written on the outside and a quick look revealed a sheaf of hundreds. All I could do was put my head in one hand and shake it. No point in saying anything, not a chance in hell he’d take it back.

From there it was pretty quick, showered, I made sure he was well shaved-on long flights you can get five o’clock shadow easily-packed, conservatively but well dressed, a gold watch like mine, a gold chain like mine and a gold collar….not like mine. “You can take that off….”

“Why?” That was that.

I drove the Rolls, first demanding that he make sure I was on the insurance in the event of ….anything, got to the airport in plenty of time. Getting out he kissed me while waving for a Sky Cap then disappeared into the terminal.

Herb was his usual pleasant self as I handed the car back to him, went upstairs and realized….I was effectively stuck. It had never occurred to me but back at the shop, there was always someone who would give me a lift to the market, about the only place I needed to go and, while there, stocked up so that it might be some little while before I needed to go again.

Sitting around Jerry’s place was….lonely, oppressive, almost dismal without someone else, thought about asking Herb up but knew that wouldn’t fly. Also, Jerry did not plan on being back for maybe a week, maybe more so the point of staying there, apart from opening doors and drawers, made no sense. Isn’t to say there wasn’t a part of me that said that snooping might answer some questions but I’d feel a heel looking in places that I hadn’t been given authority to inspect. On the other hand, the place was enormous so, based on the lack of stuff in the kitchen, it was quite possible that opening drawers or looking in closets would probably result in knowing where lots of empty space was in the event Jerry needed empty space to fill. Somehow I didn’t think that was likely.

By three I’d had it. Went down to 30, looked at the gym, looked at the pool, looked at the locker room all of it first class. Somewhere there were probably gym clothes for guests but I didn’t bother to look. Thought about diving in naked but had no idea how many other tenants might show up and I didn’t want to embarrass Jerry so back upstairs to Luxury Central. We’d left my place so quickly, all I had was the clothes I’d grabbed, no phone, no anything. It was the day after Christmas, the shop was closed, Rod lived….God only knew how far from where I was which was another good question, just where was I? In taking Jerry to the airport I’d just retraced the steps leading out there, didn’t know the address, just the description of the building and that was all beside the fact that it was a long way from home base.

In desperation I found the number of the police station that I knew and prayed someone, anyone, would be there that I knew. God smiled, the Captain was there, understood my predicament, told me to be downstairs-he knew the building adding it was hard to miss-and a cruiser or undercover would be by in about ten to collect me and return me to my fence. I thanked him, without thinking offered him a blow job whenever he elected to have one….and that concluded our call. However, as promised, ten minutes later, up rolled an undercover car, nice guy whom I did not know but had clearly been briefed although just how far….anyway he got back a lot faster than Jerry had taken but possibly using the lights and siren cut through the traffic. About two blocks from home-he said he hoped I understood why he couldn’t offer door to door service-which I did and, just as he drove away, said the Captain told him to tell me, that it was a great offer….one he didn’t think he could refuse at some point. Okay.

Upstairs I checked my phone and found that Jake had called six times so he got the first call back. Beyond grateful to hear from me, he asked if he could come over so, sure, fine, doing nothing, he knew to come up the back stairs, the door was unlocked.

And he did. I could hear his boots gallumping up my stairs about three at a time. Big smile, grabbed me and almost threw me around him. “I love you, Matt, you are my best friend, you made our Christmas!!” Then he kissed me, embraced me, held me….”I’m going down on you right now…”

“Hold it, hot lips, I’ve got other problems for you to solve. Do know a Jerry Keller? Or Jeremy Keller? I think he’s in the construc…..”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Jerry Keller? Tall, nice looking those beautiful grey eyes, very quiet…almost sad? Do I know him? Fuck, Matt, everybody knows him or at least of him, certainly they know Kelcor or Kelcon…biggest construction company…maybe in four or five states. I’ve worked for him, great guy but, well, you know….Fritz.”

“Fritz?”

“Yeah, haven’t you heard of this guy? Jeez, Matt, you’ve been either leaning too long on that fence or cutting too many heads…Member that bar you took me to? Say ‘Jerry Keller’ in there and people will get down on their knees.”

“Jake, this makes absolutely no sense. Jerry Keller…I guess I don’t know as well as I should but Jake….Jesus, I don’t know how to explain this…you know a great big white building, maybe 40 stories tall, way the shit from here…”

“Sure, that’s Keller Towers, I think that’s where he lives, why?”

I took out a set of keys. “Jake, these are the keys to Jerry Keller’s apartment, he wants me to live there, with him…right now he’s on a plane to, I don’t know, some place far away because I dropped him, driving his Rolls, at the airport.”

Jake sat down on my bed with a thud. “Holy shit…you and Jerry Keller? I, I can’t even imagine….”

“Yeah, well it’s even weirder than you think. He wants me and you to go out and buy some trucks that he can drive when he comes here and so I’ll have a ride to commute.” I pulled a packet of money from my jacket and dropped it on a bedside table. Only then did I realize it said, in somewhat small letters, “KelCon”. Just to further make Jake jump, I took out the satellite phone, pushed a button, waited about ten seconds and heard…”Shadow? That you? I’m on a plane, anything wrong…”

“No, I’m just here with Jake…”

“Put him on…” I handed the phone to Jake.

Again, I heard only half and Jake was almost in shock so what he said, when he didn’t stutter an answer, was largely, Yes Sir, No Sir, I certainly Will Sir, Yes Sir, he’s a great guy” then handed the phone back to me. I could hear Jerry laughing. “He sounds like a great guy, little too impressed but he’ll be a good friend for us, I can tell. If he can remember, I made some suggestions about vehicles and, Shadow, thanks for being my almost love…” The line went dead.

“Well, now you know Jerry Keller.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know about you and Jerry Keller, Matt, do you realize what this can mean for you? You can probably have your own shop, your own fence, me….”

“Uh, yeah but I only want one part of that and that’s you as my friend, a buddy cuz I don’t have many of those. Now, want to go car shopping?”

“After what you just dumped on me? Are you kidding, I want to go back to that neat bar, the one you took me to….I want a beer.”

“And then we’ll go back to Jerry’s and you can spend the night.”

“With you?”

“That’s a detail we’ll have to work out. But the bar thing…that’s primo, let me change clothes and we’ll be headed that way.”

Jake hefted the envelope with the cash. “You can’t just leave this laying around…”

“Lock it in your aluminum thing, on the truck bed…I better keep the phone with me and Matt” I looked right in his eyes “Not one word about Jerry, okay? Understand.”

“Don’t worry, no one would believe it. So you don’t know about Fritz?”

“No, but you’re going to tell me.” I swatted him on the butt, didn’t think that was quite enough; I had pleasant memories of Jake so I turned him to me, held him and gave him a good kiss for a lot of reasons.

“What was that about?”

“Being a friend. Oh, on the way, you wanna run by and see if old June Fizbee is open?” And we both laughed remembering his initial pick up line to me.