A Three and Out
The alarm hadn’t even gone off. I woke to the feeling of his mouth on my shoulder, his hand sliding down my stomach and finding my already hard morning wood as I drifted into consciousness, already thinking about him and his naked muscled body beside me.
“You’re awake,” Troy murmured against my skin, his voice thick with sleep and intention.
I grunted, rolling onto my back and pulling him on top of me. “You’re insatiable.”
“You’re one to talk,” he laughed, and then his mouth was on mine, and there was no more talking for a long while.
We couldn’t seem to get enough of one another these past few days. Morning sex in the pale morning light, slow and deep and unhurried was our new way of waking up. And jumping into bed after working all day long side by side, fucking ourselves to exhaustion was our new way of falling asleep.
He was right: there was a new sense of freedom of just being, rather than hiding, and not focusing on some big announcement, like I was standing in front of microphones again. I just stopped beating myself up over not saying it out loud just yet, and went about living my life, forgetting about what anyone else thought. My only focus was the garage, my mother, and Troy. That’s all that mattered to me.
The days were calmer at the shop. No more unannounced visitors from our past showed up to test us. Troy beamed as he worked. I smiled more. Smitty and Big Ray seemed to not ask any more questions, and we didn’t need to provide any more answers. After a week, I was beginning to feel like we really didn’t need to say anything. That we could just exist there together. I was trying not to hide my looks to Troy. Or my smiles. Troy seemed more comfortable too, touching me more as he walked by me instead of being afraid to. Likewise, for me. A little hand on his back when I moved by him. A grip on his shoulder as we leaned under a hood. I wasn’t hiding it. But neither guy noticed. At least, that’s what I thought.
It was Saturday, and we had a bit more time this morning than usual before we headed to the garage. No rushing. No listening for the world outside. Troy simply climbed over me in his usual morning hungry greeting, straddling my waist, my hands gliding up those powerful legs of his as his ass tightened and he guided me into him. I watched his blonde body moving, marveling at the way his muscles tightened, his pecs danced, his veins popped. I wish I watched more football before. I’d probably notice him, with his good looks and charming smile. Would I have been drawn to him, even then, when I was so deeply hiding my desires and he was holed up with that coach.
His hands clasped my pecs as I bottomed out in him and I focused on watching the pleasure wash over his face as he sat on top of me and he rode me, watching my face back, using my rod to get himself off.
I loved fucking him like this, watching him work his body like the athlete he was, taking charge. He felt incredible on me, my hands on his waist, sliding up and down, over his pecs and around his back, his hard ass bumping against my thighs. He felt solid, in control, taking over like the hungry bottom he was. He worked himself faster over me, watching my eyes, feeling my grip, smiling down at me. I knew when he was close, and I watched that sensation take over him. It was then that I grabbed his ass and really helped him out, bending my legs, giving him something to lean back on, planting my feet on the bed for leverage so I could take over and really pound myself into him. I knew he loved it. I knew I could make him cum like this easily. And when he painted my chest with his white, hot huge stream of liquid, I followed suit, shoving him down hard on my legs as I rammed my tool deeper upwards into him, making sure that I was painting his insides just as much.
We showered together, ate breakfast together, even drove into the shop together again this morning, as we’d done all week, in my truck. We were really beginning to throw caution to the wind, waiting for our opportunity to tell someone about us, while enjoying the freedom of knowing we were ready.
Working together in the garage this morning was lighter for some reason. We didn’t touch, not obviously. But the space between us now seemed to hum. I’d hand him a wrench and our fingers would brush, and he’d smile, a small, private thing just for me. Smitty made a comment about me being in a good mood again, and for the first time, I didn’t tense up. I just shrugged. “It’s a good day.”
And it was. Because he was here. We worked side-by-side on the Firebird today, his mind for electronics finishing the sentences my mechanical intuition started. We weren’t guarded, or careful. We were just…US. The shop was busy, the phone was ringing, and it felt like ours.
And then, I heard Big Ray say something, and the tension swirled once again.
“Any big plans this weekend, pretty boy?” Big Ray’s voice was loud as we neared the end of the day. I could practically hear Troy suck in the air as I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Can you just STOP with the pretty boy nickname?” Troy’s voice was confident, strong, and filled with the annoyance of someone who’s been quiet too long. I was surprised at the sudden snap in Troy’s voice.
Big Ray gave a loud laugh. “Oh? Did I strike a nerve…pretty boy?” He punctuated pretty boy even harder this time.
There was a louder sound, of metal hitting metal, and I pictured Troy dropping a wrench, or worse, throwing one. I stepped sideways to see them near the office, Troy in a stance like he was deciding on a play, squaring off to the equally confident Ray who had lifted his own chin in sheer defiance. Now I really wished I had watched football and noticed this good-looking quarterback in all his glory, eying a play, wondering what he was going to do next.
“Yeah, you did actually.” Troy took a step forward and I braced myself for what we had planned for. This was it. He had had enough. He was going to do it first. My heart thumped in my chest as I watched the scene unfold. “You got something to say, say it.” Troy’s voice was on edge, while he took a deep breath and focused his gaze on Big Ray.
Big Ray glanced around, looking for Smitty, or me. He saw me watching and held his ground, folded his big arms across his barrel chest and matched Troy’s step forward with one of his own. “What the fuck would I have to say?”
“Calling me pretty boy, like it’s supposed to mean something?”
Ray took another step and matched Troy’s height, outweighing him by about thirty pounds. I knew Troy was strong, but Ray had that sheer bulk to him. “What? You don’t like the compliment?”
Compliment? I thought in my head. Well…this wasn’t what I expected him to say. Neither did Troy apparently, who faltered for a brief second, seeing me standing guard in the distant.
Troy frowned down at Big Ray. “What? That’s a compliment?!?” He asked in sheer confusion.
Big Ray unfolded his arms, and didn’t seem to know what to do with himself suddenly. He took a few paces backwards, then forwards again, running a hand nervously over his head. “Well, yeah. It’s a compliment.” He cleared his throat, then shoved his hands in his pockets. “You know, me and Smitty, we’re not spring chickens any more, and past our prime…but you, I mean, YOU, look at you!” He gestured to Troy, up and down, as if that was all he had to say.
I folded my own arms across my chest, trying to figure out exactly what was going on, when Ray finally broke.
“You’re a freakin’ good looking guy Troy. When Smitty called you pretty boy the first time I thought it kind of fit. You ARE pretty. I mean, as pretty as a guy can be. I’m just jealous is all. Shit, if I looked like you, I’d be banging chicks three times a day.” He was rambling, talking fast, looking around for assistance.
I heard Smitty offer a helpful “Fuck yeah you would!” from the sidelines.
Troy shifted, suddenly blushing. “Oh.”
Ray folded his arms across his chest. “Didn’t mean to make it sound, you know, mean. We just think you’re too good looking for this shop.”
Troy gave a nervous laugh. “I thought you were calling me pretty boy because I was gay. And, as a gay man, I find the phrase ‘pretty boy’ rather insulting.”
Big Ray opened his mouth at the same time he frowned, unsure if what Troy said was a joke or not. Smitty appeared at Big Ray’s side, his own mouth also hanging open. They both suddenly turned to look at me, before Big Ray turned his head back to Troy.
I froze, waiting to hear what would happen next, like I was watching a show on TV.
This was it: Troy just said he was gay. I clenched my fists as my heart thumped in my chest, waiting for someone to say something.
“I didn’t know you were gay.” Big Ray finally said, holding both hands up, palms out, in a move to calm Troy down.
“Oh?” Troy stared back at them, looking at each one for a second. “Well, I am. And I would appreciate the pretty boy nickname to stop.”
Their mouths were still hanging open, completely unsure what to say as they looked at me, eyes wide, as if I was supposed to say something.
“Is that clear?” Troy’s hands were on his hips, challenging them, and I found myself slowly relaxing, so proud of him suddenly.
Big Ray was the first one to speak. “Sure thing Troy. Sorry if it…uh…I never meant anything….” Smitty nodded in approval.
“Great. So maybe you two can both shut up about the comments then? Cause it’s really starting to piss me off.” Troy’s words landed with power, the garage suddenly silent as I swallowed loudly, watching my mechanics squaring off in a rare moment of utter quiet.
They both straightened up, Big Ray and Smitty, and slowly approached Troy as I stood by watching. Ray even tentatively put a hand on Troy’s shoulder and cleared his throat. “Hey, I mean it Troy. I’m sorry. We didn’t mean anything by it. We’re just two stupid guys, joking around you know? Just a nickname, you know. ‘Cause you’re pretty and all. Right Smitty?”
Smitty nodded. “Fuck yeah. Sorry Troy. My wife’s brother’s gay, so I would never…you know, insult you, or anyone….” His big hands were still up in apology, like he was unsure how to approach Troy. I had no idea Smitty’s wife’s brother was gay. He talked enough about his brother-n-law, always complaining about him. Maybe I should try to get to know these guys a little better was my first thought. Followed by the look of ease on Troy, whose eyes looked over at me.
“What about you boss? Got any problems with it?”
This was it. He was throwing me the lifeline, the chance to do it. I looked at him for a moment, stunned by the ease at which he had just come out to these two stupid assholes, who in fact, weren’t really assholes after all. I knew he wasn’t trying to make me say it, just asking me in public in front of these guys if I had any issues with him being gay.
I looked at Big Ray and Smitty, and then back to Troy who looked so calm. He gave me a slight nod, that I read as “whatever you want to do, I’m right here.” I could feel the tears filling my eyes.
But I couldn’t fuckin’ do it.
“No problems at all. This is a safe place, right guys?” I hollered out, letting my eyes fall away from Troy in utter shame.
“Yeah!” “FOR SURE!” both of them said behind me, as I gave him a slight nod and moved back to my bay to continue working.
It felt like the entire garage drifted into a sudden silence. There was a pounding in my ears that felt like blood pumping in me overtime. I couldn’t look at Troy. I didn’t want him to see my own shame I felt spreading across my face. He just came out to these guys. And I chickened out.
He finally walked over to my bay, his expression a mixture of relief and confusion as I tried to continue to hide my embarrassment as Smitty made his way to the back, and Big Ray disappeared into his own work off on his own.
“Why did you do that?” I finally whispered quietly to him as he stepped beside me, when I knew we were alone.
He just gave a little shrug, pretending to inspect the engine I was staring at alongside me. “I don’t know. Felt like the right moment for me. I just kind of snapped at the pretty boy thing. It wasn’t planned. But see, they aren’t as bad as you think. You don’t need to be scared of them.”
“I’m not scared of them.” I mumbled back defensively, pretending to take a deeper interest in my vehicle by leaning on the hood of the car. I heard it in my voice and took a moment, slowing my breath down, and feeling the support from Troy just standing there beside me. I risked a look at him, and I saw his smiling gorgeous face just beaming down at me. “But I’m proud of you.” I felt a well of emotion rising up in me that I forced down into my throat, before I turned away.
I heard him breathe in deeply, and just stood beside me for a moment. Then his hand touched my arm, and I looked back over at him. He was still smiling, his eyes wide open and watery. “First step for me big guy. I’ve been meaning to tell them for a long time now. I guess I finally found the courage. Wonder who helped me with that.”
I looked back at the engine holding a blank stare. “Do you think I’m a coward….”
Troy’s hand slid up my arm and landed on my shoulder and I didn’t flinch or pull away. “Absolutely not.”
I heard myself take in a long breath as Troy gave my rounded shoulder a squeeze before he patted me like a bro and dropped his arms.
“I don’t expect you to out yourself just because I did. I wasn’t trying to force it out of you. It just seemed like the right time for me to end their comments. Besides, we said we didn’t need to make some big announcement.”
I nodded slowly. “I know.”
He gave me another silent look and a nod and returned to his own work, leaving me feeling better, but I was still mad I didn’t have the courage to say it like he did.
But I got a second chance at the end of the day.
Big Ray disappeared fast at the end of the shift, leaving me in the office as Troy worked slowly cleaning up. We had this play down pat, being in one truck now, where Troy fidgeted with stuff, waiting for the others to leave, so we could leave together.
For some reason, Smitty was dawdling. He kept looking at me in the office, walking by, hesitating, but then would notice Troy nearby and found something else to clean up. On the fourth time Smitty paused at the office door, I blurted out rather gruffly to him.
“Something you need to say Smitty?”
It caught him off guard momentarily, but then he moved his bearish self into the doorway and nodded. “Yeah boss. There is.”
And then he came in and closed the door. No one ever closed my office door before.
He put his hands in his pockets and he stood there, looking at me. I couldn’t help but frown at him, giving him a death stare as if I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what he had to say.
Then he pointed a thumb backwards, out to the bays. “So, Troy huh? That surprised me a bit.”
I felt like this was a trap, and I kept my enforcer face on lock, glaring at him.
When I didn’t say anything, Smitty cleared his throat. “But I’m totally cool with it, you know. I mean, I’m used to it, with Amy’s brother, and his friends around.”
“What’s your point Smitty?” I sounded too harsh, too mean. I took a deeper breath and tried to calm my body.
Smitty avoided my eyes. “I’ve known you for twenty years Ivan.” He started, using my first name, which was rare, causing me to freeze even more and stare at his face as he shuffled his feet and looked down. “And since your father died, I’ve kind of felt like you were my responsibility.”
I swallowed, my eyes darting out the office window into the garage searching for Troy, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“I promised him I’d look after you, help you with the shop if you needed it, but you don’t, you never did, you know what you’re doing, and I never thought you needed any help whatsoever in anything.” He finally looked up at me, and he let out a big sigh, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets and bending over slightly as if what he was saying was hurting him. “Until now maybe.”
I could feel my face flushing with red as I sat like a stone at the desk, glaring at him, my hand gripping the pen in my hand as the other balled into a fist. I waited, feeling my heart thumping, the silence suddenly pounding in my ears as Smitty held my gaze.
“You don’t have to pretend with me like you did with your father.” He said quietly, giving me a pursed lips face. “It’s okay. I don’t have a problem with it.”
I swallowed again, breaking the gaze and looking down at my own large hands clenched. “I don’t know what you mean Smitty.”
“Yes, you do, Ivan.” He said quietly, and then turned his head to look out the window too, as if he was looking for Troy for support as well. “And it’s okay. All I want is for you to be happy. Just like your dad did. And if you don’t want to make a big deal about it, or tell me, that’s fine. I just want you to know I’m okay with anything, and me and Amy, and Ray and Elaine, we are all here for you, and we’ll always be the same support you need. Okay?”
I let my hand unclench the pen, and slowly moved my fists together, to steady myself, grabbing my own hands together and resting my forearms on the desk in front of me. I inched my chair forward, leaning on my arms and elbows, and glared up at him. “I am happy.” I said very firmly.
Smitty nodded. “I can tell.” He gave me a little smile and then looked out the window again. “I’m not stupid Ivan. I know you’re happy. I see it. You’re different with him.” He pulled a hand out of his pocket and pointed a thick thumb out the window into the garage. “And I hope you two know that I’m happy for you guys.”
“Doug….” I said a little too forcefully and suddenly, which caused him to put his hands up to stop me from saying anything else.
“You don’t have to say anything Ivan. Like I said, I’m not stupid. I just want you to know that it’s okay. And I’m proud of you.” He said the last sentence as he reached for the door, and was opening it and leaving as I stood up quickly, unable to speak, feeling my body shaking so badly I had to brace myself against the desk in front of me.
I let him go, another opportunity to say it out loud gone. I let my head fall down, hanging there for I don’t know how long before I heard the soft knock on the door and looked up to see Troy’s beautiful face.
“Hey. You ready?” He asked, leaning against the doorframe, frowning at me suddenly, curious to see the look on my face.
I just nodded, and shuffled the papers to the side, forgetting what it was I was doing. “Did Smitty leave?” I managed to get out after a few moments of fiddling with stuff on my desk in front of me. Troy nodded, and waited, watching me carefully.
But I was too ashamed once again to look him in the eye as we closed up the shop.
We drove home. Together. In the same truck. A small, defiant act that didn’t feel so defiant after Smitty’s confession. I didn’t say much, just stared straight ahead, letting my right hand rest casually on Troy’s leg as if this was the only connection I needed to calm myself a bit. I listened to him chat excitedly, as if this trip home together was the most exciting trip he’d ever taken. He talked about a tricky wiring harness he couldn’t figure out, his hands moving in the air as he explained. I just listened, my hand on his thigh, and felt a peace so profound it was almost dizzying. I wasn’t sure if it was Troy’s presence and his rambling, or the overwhelming sensation of not having to really hide anymore from Smitty. Because he knew. Without saying it specifically, or me having to say it specifically, he knew.
Dinner was pasta, something he threw together in my kitchen while I set the table. We ate at the table, our knees touching underneath, me still quiet, focusing on Troy, unable to say much, but enjoying the one-sided conversation as Troy tried hard to make me smile. He talked about nothing in particular, just the day and what the weekend held, me avoiding mentioning Smitty’s private after work chat in my office.
We cleaned up together, side by side, as if he’d been living with me my whole life. We moved easily together, kissing sporadically, grabbing occasionally, until my body started to relax more and more. Then, he took my hand and led me to the bedroom.
He put me on my back and told me to relax, taking over. I let him, watching him undo my pants and work me into a bone hard state as he sucked me. I put my hands behind my head after he stripped me of my work shirt and let him feel my muscles. I studied his body with sheer admiration, pulling on my own dick as he stripped in front of me, enjoying the show. And when he grabbed the lube and massaged his finger into his ass before adding some to my shaft, I watched him in awe as he straddled my big frame and took me inside him so easily again, for the second time today, that I immediately got lost in the sight.
He was still every bit the athlete, riding me like a cowboy on a stallion, majestic and graceful, showing signs of his own pleasure as drops of cum leaked out of his writhing body. His hands gripped my pecs, his legs squeezed my hips, and his ass clenched me so tight I knew I wasn’t going to last long. This wasn’t about hunger or the secret thrill of the shop anymore. I was giving myself to him, letting him take charge, because I realized he was the stronger one. He was honest, and proud, and courageous. I don’t know how this former quarterback could be sidelined by a lecherous coach. But I wasn’t going to dwell on that any longer. He wanted me. I wasn’t going to complain. I wasn’t going to be scared anymore.
I felt myself losing it and grabbed his hips. My mouth dropped open in relief as I watched him taking me so effortlessly. He was so hot riding me. So fucking hot that I realized I could slide into his hot ass 24/7 if he asked me.
I rolled him sideways, surprising him, landing between those strong legs and splitting them wider. I planted my hands on his upper thighs and pushed them apart, seeing the look of shock on his face turn into a grin as I started to fuck him, hard, and deep. He grunted and took every thrust and grabbed his cock.
“Yeah fuck me big guy!” He purred below me as I watched his big pecs bouncing with my rhythm.
I grunted out a sudden explosion, my body tensing so tightly that it made the release feel even more amazing. I pushed into him so deep, burying my face in between his shoulder and neck and held him tightly, feeling the emotion of the day wash over me. I let out a soft sob, trying to hold it together as I felt one arm around me, my dick still shoved into him as he jerked himself off. I held myself there, still throbbing and releasing drops of myself into him when I felt his body tense and spasm under me. I let him ride it out, until I slipped out of his panting body and he relaxed. I remained on top of him, letting my body relax, covering him, kissing his neck as both arms now wrapped around me, holding me tight against him. I don’t know how he took my entire weight, but he didn’t complain, nor try to push me off. Just wrapped his legs around me and let me catch my breath.
After a long silent time, as we lay tangled like that in the dark, naked and spent, the sheets a lost cause after my sudden tossing him over to the side, my head laying in the crook of his neck, his legs still draped over me, his foot moving around mine and up my leg, I let out a slow breath and kissed his forehead.
He traced a lazy circle on my skin. “You’re quiet.”
I looked over at the top of his head, at the way his blonde hair was sticking up. My chest felt too small for everything inside it.
“I’m happy,” I said. The words were simple, but they were the truest thing I’d ever said.
He tilted his head back to look at me, his face soft in the moonlight. A slow, breathtaking smile spread across his face. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Me too.”
He settled back under me, a bit to the side as my crushing weight was too much for him finally with a contented sigh. I shifted to the side of him, giving him some relief but kept an arm over him to hold him tightly, my nose buried in his hair, breathing him in. “Cause I’m in love.”
I heard him snort and his blue eyes looked back over to me.
“Yeah.” He grinned. “I’m in love too. With this big lug of a man named Ivan.”
“Smitty knows I’m happy.”
Troy lifted his head and rested his chin on my shoulder, waiting.
“He came to see me in my office after Ray left. To tell me he knew I was happy. And why.” I cleared my throat, feeling a sudden scratch there. I had a moment of awkwardness, and swallowed, moistening my lips as Troy’s eyes stared at me. “And that he was happy for us.”
Those blue eyes widened and he grinned.
“But I couldn’t tell him.” I breathed out, my body deflating under Troy’s chin.
Troy gave me that annoyed look and pushed himself up from under me, holding my gaze. “So? We agreed that we didn’t have to make some big fuckin’ announcement. Did you deny it?”
I blinked, thinking back. And I shook my head.
Troy grinned again. “Then I’m proud of you.”
I felt the tears welling up. “That’s what he said. That he was proud of me. Seems like everyone is proud of someone today.”
Troy just kissed me. Suddenly. Taking my breath away. And I stifled back another sudden sob as I kissed him back.
He pulled away and put a hand to my face. “Then you don’t have to say anything more Ivan. He knows. He’s happy for you. And that’s all that we need to do for now.” He gave my cheek a small, playful tap. “Stupid lug. Stop beating yourself up over not announcing you’re gay. I knew something was going on in there.” He said, knocking on my skull. “You were too quiet. Even for you.” He rolled over, sideways, and I matched his movement, rolling onto my right side so I could face him, naked, on top of our bed, feeling his leg hanging over mine.
My hand automatically dropped down to it, rubbing it, feeling his skin, and rolled my head sideways, facing upward, to stare up at the ceiling.
He was right. I didn’t have to make some big announcement. All I had to do was listen. And not react or deflect or lie or make up some excuse. Smitty knew about me. And Troy. And he told me nothing would change.
This was it. This was the true beginning of all of it. The freedom. The relaxation. The honesty. This was my life. And the people I was so worried about have opened the door for me.
I rolled my head back over to Troy who turned to look at me, giving me a grin.
“You’re the best.” I whispered at him.
His hand found mine and he kissed my shoulder. “We make a good team.”
I nodded, moving my arm under him so he could snuggle up into me even closer. “The Enforcer and the QB.” I smiled. Then added, “The Mechanics.” I heard him laugh, as if he was saying Yes we do.
I smiled too, because all I could think was We really do.
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