The cockroach man

GROVELING LIKE A COCKROACH

Freedom can move your life and it can be seen even in the hardest conditions, together with love and friendship, happiness and beauty. Have a look at the life of eight beggars who live together at: luces-delatierra.blogspot.com or in English at: lightsoftheearth.blogspot.com

Once home I knew well it was necessary to reflect because despite the humiliation of all day, I couldn’t be harder. I decided to make a coffee and next think a lot about the man I had become today. Once it was made I started to ponder about myself. I started crying and in that moment the opinion I had about myself couldn’t be more awful. But no matter what, my erection was getting increasingly higher and I was about to cream my pants again. But something in me asked me not to masturbate: Mr. Pedler did not deserve my masturbations, I stupidly thought then. I saw again all I had done this morning and I felt awfully for having reached that point of degradation. I had groveled like a cockroach totally nude on the floor and last I had sucked my own brother’s cock and curiously I had felt like jacking off for him to see me and cum before my new boss. Remembering the taste of his dick, feelings were stronger than my thoughts and I realized I had creamed my pants again. Angry at myself I decided then to stand up and go to my room where I could do some business. Maybe thinking about computing could save me from myself and my shame.

I spent the afternoon doing business but hard all the time. A part of my mind remained permanently on my brother’s dick. But finally it was the time to eat the dinner my servants had prepared for me. As I was eating, still with a strong erection, something came to me as resignation. I knew very well I would grovel like a cockroach for Mr. Pedler –curiously not even in my thoughts I called him by his name. He was always Mr. Pedler or just Sir- but I started to think whether some things he had said about me couldn’t be true: I liked losing; I liked degrading. It was even funny to become a cockroach once a day; it was a strange metamorphosis: from a man to a cockroach. But finally I sighed. I knew perfectly well I would suck his cock every day and degrade as far as he would take me. I had entered a new phase of my life, and even feeling bad at myself, humiliations could even be funny. So what stopped me to wank over him? It’s just that I needed some relax. I was more than willing to be Robin Pedler’s insect every day, but I would not humiliate myself at home wanking over him and being his cockroach too when I was alone.

With these thoughts I went to bed but it was not easy to fall asleep. My dick was clearly telling me that I should not sleep that day without a new masturbation. I had already admitted my bisexuality and that thought at least I liked. But suddenly the memory of his piercing smile reached me strongly and for the first time I thought how sexy and cute my brother was. I thought that maybe soon I could earn his respect and I realized what he wanted. I needed to be his cockroach also privately. So I didn’t resist any longer. I sat up, whipped my dick out and started to wank over him. As I jacked off I thought: “I am sure now I need degradation, Sir. Please help me turn into the lousiest incest you want to turn me. I don’t want dignity: take it away from me forever and make me live the way you want me to live after now.” I started being now a losing freak and I didn’t know what could happen to me in a near future if I continued desiring to lose. As I was jacking off I thought about something I could tell him tomorrow so our situation was not as insecure as that of Bart and Kiefer, the other two workmates he’d told me had agreed to also give him a daily blowjob. But I would soon know that he had told me their names but they hadn’t been told about me and when I knew that, I felt that my brother had a special gentleness with me. I only thought now: how scrumptious your dick is, Sir, and it’s wonderful for your cockroach man to know that he will taste it every day, naked before you if you want, jerking himself off till he cums again before you if you want”. And with these thoughts I finally shot a long explosive load, the load my dick had been all day telling me that I should shoot. Now I tried to sleep. Still feeling bad at myself, I knew that now my metamorphosis was complete. I desired being a cockroach for him either in his presence or privately. And with these embarrassing but at the same time comforting thoughts I managed to finally sleep.

The next day, I mustered courage and knocked on Mr. Pedler’s door at 9. I knew he’d told me the blowjob today should be at eleven but I just wanted to talk to him before that hour. He told me “come in” and soon I was in his office watching my boss and brother’s cute face.

-I wanted to talk to you, Mr. Pedler, can I?

-You can, Zach, but you know very well I will never allow you to stop giving me your wonderful blowjobs.

-It’s not that Sir. Yesterday here in your office you humiliated me all you wanted. You ordered me to suck your dick and not only did I blow you but also jerked myself off till I came before you. I became your cockroach man and I will continue. I will go on giving you a daily blowjob, Sir. And groveling for you to see my degradation.

-So what do you want to tell me?

-You see, Sir, it’s something related to common sense, and I wouldn’t like you to tell me you don’t like what I’m gonna say now till at least you have heard me.

-Tell me.

-Sir, would you also like to see me totally nude today as I am sucking your cock?

-Certainly, Zach. Let me repeat you have a wonderful body.

-Thanks Sir. You see: if you want me to be naked, could I please strip here in your office and not in mine? I know it is a short distance but I can be discovered. What if I am caught by one other man, not Bart or Kiefer?

-Not only Bart, Kiefer and you give me blowjobs now. I have convinced three more guys. Of course I could not resist so many blowjobs a day so they don’t have to do it daily. I will call them when I need them. But you are different and you will have to do it every day, but ok, finish what you were saying.

-Well, Sir, if I am caught naked on the corridor, I will have to give them explanations and what can I say? It’s risky Sir, for even if I don’t tell them anything at all, they will imagine that Mr. Pedler had ordered me to come like this to his office. It may be dangerous also for you, Sir and I don’t know whether you are out of the closet, forgive me Sir.

-I still keep my closet with some people and what you have just told me is common sense though I will miss the thrill of knowing you are stripping in your office.

-I know you are losing something, Sir, so I can offer you something in return.

-Tell me.

-Well, first Sir: can I jack off again as I’m blowing you, Sir?

-After now, never ask me again, Zach. Masturbate before me whenever you want. I’d love to see you cumming over and over again with me.

-And you can have a new pleasure, Sir.

-Tell me.

-You can, before I approach you crawling on the floor as I did yesterday, come to me if you want and trample me as if you were killing a filthy cockroach, Sir.

-You’re earning fast my respect, Zach. One day we’ll talk like brothers but first let me treat you only as my cockroach for at least twenty days. Ok, we’ll do what you have suggested but you can only talk when you are again totally nude, not before. Always calling me sir, but speak your mind and say whatever you want. And once I have cum in your mouth again and hopefully you’ve cum again on the floor, we will finally talk business. Ok, Zach, now you can leave. I expect you here at eleven. I accept your conditions. Now leave me please.

Of course I returned to his office at eleven, with my clothes on today and knocked and when he told me to come in I entered and did not say a single word as he had told me. I simply began to undress for him to see his cockroach man again. He had his dick out and started to wank furiously watching my progressively naked body and at that vision I went harder. He did not only want to humiliate me but also to get horny at me and I understood his masturbation now as a compliment. He was also smiling at me and I began to get accustomed to my brother’s sweet smiles. Once I was totally nude and both of us had big boners, I instantly fell to the ground on my back first, in case he wanted to come to me. Instantly he stood up and approached me and telling me you’re my sexy cockroach, he started to trample my face and thus he was for a couple of minutes till he approached his boot to my mouth and told me.

-I’m sure you can also lick the sole of my boot. Do it, you beautiful cockroach.

Curiously I did not stop to think. My boss wanted to degrade me more and I had to do what he had just told me. So soon my tongue was licking the sole of his right boot. It was not dirty but some dust I licked. Then he went on trampling most of my chest and later one of my legs till when I was not expecting such a thing, he started trampling my balls saying at the same time: “you’re a beautiful cockroach. I am trampling you but instead of wanting to kill this insect, I want to care for him and give him fun.” At the time he said those words he started stepping on my hard cock and so much fun it was for me the touch of his boot on my dick, and his sweetly way of humiliating me that I shot a big load just then and seeing me, he came too. I thanked him again and he told me.

-Now I will sit on my desk again and you can give me the same show you gave me yesterday and crawl to my cock and suck it again. I will resist longer today. I won’t tell you to do it, you are free to choose but of course I would like to see you cumming again with my dick.

It was becoming a desired ritual to approach him crawling on the floor in a humiliating cockroach parade. My dick was again hard rubbing the floor and fortunately I saw my brother’s sexy cock getting harder again. Soon I was there and started by licking his balls.

-Good to know that I have not told you anything but you haven’t forgotten my balls.

-I want your fun, Sir, and I will never neglect your sexy balls.

And shortly after that I ran up his sexy cock again and began beating off. I realized then that I had spent twenty-four hours wanting to suck Mr. Pedler’s cock again. Now he resisted for longer than a quarter of an hour, a long time in which I reveled at his manly taste never stopping my cock, and forever sure that I would need to have the flavour of a dick in my mouth once a day and it was so hot to know that I would blow him every day. He started stroking my naked body and telling me: “how hot you are, Zach.” I didn’t realize then some small details my brother had with me and could have saved me a lot of mental anguish. He had treated me as his cockroach first and had lost no opportunity to give me the name. But he never treated me as an insect when I was sucking his cock. In that moment I was only a hot boy who was giving him a blowjob and he praised the way I sucked, caressed me gently and told me I was sexy. Finally the desired moment came of feeling his nectar in my mouth again and of course when I noticed it, I came too and just like yesterday I said: “thank you, Sir.”

-Now, Zach, put your clothes back on. I need to have now a business conversation with you.

So I got dressed and he told me to sit opposite him. He also told me to relax; now we were only two men discussing business, that’s all. So I managed to show him a bit of my true self, though I didn’t know now what my true self was: the businessman or the cockroach. But I soon saw he liked my points of view and he changed his mind on some things he had planned when he saw that what I said was better.

-You are a conscientious worker, Zachary Pollock –it was the first time he mentioned my full name- but I think you also like being my cockroach, so I will dare suggest you something: you’d better divide your mind in two halves: part of your mind will focus every day on blowjobs and degradation, cause I’m sure now you love it. And your other half will focus on what you’ve always focused: computers, business. You’d feel better if you are at the same time a cockroach and a man and the day is long enough for both things. Thanks, Zachary. I agree on your views on the business. Now we will also have a daily conversation on E-mole. You’re wonderful.

The next day I was eager of course to give him a new blowjob and a new show of degradation. When I was stripping he told me that after today I could talk whenever I wanted, even when I was getting naked. I nodded and thanked him and once I was totally nude and of course hard as a rock again, he told me.

-I would trample you again for I want you to cum at least twice in my office every day. But I want to do something more but will only do it if you really want me to.

-What is it you want, Sir? –I meekly asked.

-I would like to take everything off too and every day, when you are here in my office, we will be two naked boys having fun, that’s all.

-Sir, to see you naked would be a dream. Please do it.

And I had then a new arousing show which convinced more that I was bisexual. I loved to see my boss, my brother, taking everything off. I had the satisfaction to see my cock getting even harder. I wanted him to clearly see what desire he caused me and I couldn’t help but telling him: “congratulations for that hot body you have Sir.”

And saying no more I lied on the floor again so he could trample me again. Today he was a longer time, stepping on everything, and when his boot was in my mouth he asked me again to lick the sole, which I happily did. And finally he came to trample my hard cock. I needed more minutes now but he told me he would go on trampling it till I shot my first load today. Finally the moment came in which I started yelling and thanking him as I was cumming for the first time that day.

-Now come to my desk and do what you know you have to do and want to do.

-Yes, Sir –I waited for him to sit and soon I was again licking my brother’s balls, something I wanted to do every day and when I finally tackled his sexy dick, just after a couple of minutes, I thought he was cumming, cause I felt liquid in my mouth. But the taste was unmistakable: I was drinking some piss. I didn’t know what to do but I heard him say.

-I’m sure you’re braver than you think, Zach, and you like degradation. I was bursting and didn’t want to stop right now your wonderful blowjob. And there’s a lot of people who like piss. You can drink it but if you ask me to stop, I’ll go to the toilet and return so you can finish your blowjob today.

-Please Sir, keep on pissing.

My quick acceptance of this new humiliation plus the fact that he had politely told me that he could stop made me unexpectedly shoot a second load in his office that day. He was talking.

-Have you enjoyed the taste of piss, Zach? But be sincere, please.

-I certainly have, Sir.

-So I will ask you something and please tell me the truth, if one other day I feel like pissing when you are sucking my cock, can I do it?

-I would like you to piss in my mouth now every day, Sir –in that moment all I wanted is to degrade myself further every day and if he had told me he wanted now to shit in my mouth, all I would have answered is please do it Sir. But my brother had a special tenderness for me and he never asked me that. To this day, I have never tasted shit. The blowjob continued for ten more minutes till he finally filled my mouth with a second liquid and I would never be fulfilled if he didn’t cum in my mouth. Of course I came too and thanked him again. Then I got dressed but before leaving I had to entreat him please to piss me every day.

The following day I had a new experience.  When I was sucking his cock, we heard a knock on the door. It was Bart asking him whether he could come in. My brother told him to wait. Since we had already talked of this possibility, he started putting everything back on and I went straight to a closet he had near the window with room enough for me to be. Mr. Pedler kicked my clothes under the table so they couldn’t be seen and once I got into the closet, he told Bart to enter. So that day I got into the closet instead of getting out of it, ironic metaphor. Obviously Bart had entered in order to suck Mr. Pedler’s cock. I could see nothing but I could hear, and indeed I heard the blowjob he gave him. My brother moaned and told him: that’s it. You’re so good. But something strange came to me then. Instead of getting furious I felt happy that he made other work mates suck his cock but he did not humiliate then. His only cockroach was me and I felt proud I was his only insect. I heard the moment my brother filled Bart’s mouth with his sperm and I heard Bart leaving finally. I didn’t know whether other employees felt humiliated. I was thinking all this when I noticed Mr. Pedler opening the door of my closet and finally I was kneeling on the floor and tasting again his scrumptious dick and I drank again first his piss, for I had asked him to do it now every day, and later of course his semen and I next I blasted my load as every day.

Thus I continued till day 20th arrived, since he had begun transforming me into his cockroach and every day there was trampling, pissing in my mouth and of course blowjobs and the final gift of his cum. I arrived at last one Tuesday to his office and he stood up, approached me and told me.

-I’m not gonna trample you today. I’ll give you a different challenge but after we have both stripped.

So we started to strip, for the first time at the same time and I could perceive he was sweaty and smelly.

-I’ve been in the gym all morning, Zach and I couldn’t have a shower and I know I stink. But I tell you that today you can choose to do nothing. I like seeing you as my cockroach, but you’re sexy and a free man. It’s only something I have done some times and like. I don’t consider it degradation but simply having fun with a boy, that’s all and remember you don’t have to do it if you don’t want.

-What is it you want, Sir?

-I want you to lick my stinking feet. The taste of a guy’s dirty feet is arousing for me; don’t know what you will think.

-I’ll do it right now, Sir. Please sit comfortably. I’ll go straight to your feet.

He sat down with a lot of doubts but I never hesitated. At that point I was sure of two things: I needed degradation, much more, and I would do anything for my brother’s fun, except being fucked, something I thought then I could never do. So I finally approached my brother’s dirty feet and started to lick. And just then I started to cry.

-What is it you have, Zach?

-I’m crying with emotion, Sir. How well you taste everywhere and how I love to see your fun.

-Ok, you can go on.

I started jerking myself off again as I was licking his stinking feet. If at that point I still had any doubts that I did like boys, I lost the doubt then. The taste was perfect and seeing me jacking off, he told me I could go on till I shot a first load. It was true that every day I shot at least two loads in his office. Finally I came and he asked me politely whether I wanted to suck his cock as every day. I told him of course Sir and please don’t forget to piss. It was one of the shortest blowjobs I ever gave him. There was tasty piss too fortunately but he came too soon and I blasted my second load. Then it was him who politely raised me and unexpectedly he kissed me with affection. I merged with him in that warm kiss till he told me to get dressed and sit. He wanted to tell me something now.

-You are a hot and perfect man, Zach, and not only as my cockroach. But I think the time has finally come for us to have a brotherly conversation. Neither of us will work today anymore. I want to invite you to a drink now and we can talk about anything, but we’ll talk like brothers do, calling each other by their names, so you can at last call me Robin. Do it now, please.

-Thank you Robin –how it moved me to be allowed at last to utter my brother’s name.

-Would you have a drink with me now?

-Certainly Robin.

-And you can even curse me now if that’s your wish.

-I’ll never do that. I hope my words with you now only show you my gratitude for everything you’ve done to me.

-Ok, you can go to a bathroom and wash your mouth first.

-If it’s the same to you, I won’t. I would like to have a drink having your wonderful combined tastes of feet sweat, piss and cum.

-You hot Zach. Ok, let’s go.                                                                          

We left E-mole then and headed to The Cave, very close. We asked for coffee and sat. He told me to be first to speak and say anything I wanted.

-Maybe you are expecting some reproaches from me, Robin, but I will never do that.

-Ok, tell me something about your life and please remember to tell me things about our father.

Thus I started talking and at the same time feeling some relax I had never felt with him so far. I was talking for twenty minutes and of course I mentioned my life with Isaac Pollock.

-You should have been Robin Pollock.

-You can, after today, always call me by my name. Sir too only if you want to call me Sir. And you can even call me Robin Pollock if you really appreciate your bastard brother.

-Now please, tell me something about you.

He was talking for other twenty minutes in which I knew many things about my brother’s life. Sometimes I was sad and my face showed him but he told me he was glad I was not showing him pity. So I never did. He also told me some things he’d done to the other boys at the orphanage, but I learnt then that all of them were now successful men and humiliating then somehow he had helped them. He had for instance thrown a mouse on one of the boys, who had a real phobia for rats. My brother had been then unable to cream his pants, but that boy had definitely lost his fear of mice. That boy had grown to be a proud man. Then Robin told me.

-And that’s what I want for you: pride. Do you feel proud of yourself for what you are?

-I think I feel embarrassed and ashamed of what I have become, Robin, but I know well I wanna keep on being a cockroach.

-And you can. But listen to me, Zach: you’re a hot boy and you have also shown me you’re really courageous. And intelligent, tender and many more things I could tell you. You don’t have to lose those things. Remember I told you I wanted to be my cockroach man. And I never told you I wanted you to become only my cockroach. You should also focus on the word man. And there are a lot of people who enjoy degradation, but what the fuck? Why can’t a man degrade and feel proud of it? You must have guts for that.

That concept was a new light for me: pride. I could be a degraded insect, I really desired that chance, and at the same time always a man.

-So I will ask you now, Zach: do you enjoy giving me blowjobs?

-I love it, Robin. I’d like to always give you a daily blowjob.

-Are you not worried that it is incest? I am your real brother, believe me. I’ve brought some legal papers which I’ll show you later that will convince you.

-I will read them, Robin, but I don’t need it; I believe you. And as for incest, maybe you don’t believe, but it’s easier for me to know I am sucking my brother’s cock. So hot to give fun to someone I love.

-Do you like degradation, Zach?

-You may have some doubts that I love it, and anticipating what you might ask me, I’ll tell you: I love getting naked for you, love to see you naked, to crawl on the floor like a lousy cockroach, to reach your balls, lick them and jerk myself off as I suck your cock; love the taste of your piss, your cum, the wonderful smell your feet have left on my nose now. I will sincerely desire, now that I feel proud, thanks to you, to be your cockroach man, Robin.

-But can’t you see I can keep on stealing things from you?

-What do you want now? Just ask me.

-I’m a bastard, Zach, and I would like one day to take your car and your house too. Look, one day, if you make up your mind, you can give me your car keys and simply say: it’s yours, Robin. You could easily buy a new car with all the money you still have and I will never take from you. And I’d love you to put your house under my name one day: Robin Pedler’s house. But it will be legally mine but you will always live in it.

-Sometimes I’ve thought, Robin, that I don’t know whether I have any limits but I see myself doing it. It’s just that I’m terrified that one day I find myself on the street, when I no longer own anything. For me losing it all because of you is an increasing need. It’s just that I know one day I may repent.

-You will never repent. Look, Zach, I’ll tell you something so you can trust me: I appreciate you, I really do and I think that by now you are sure of the fact. I may keep on stealing things that are yours, but not only because I am a bastard, but because you have shown me again that you desire this state of things. But I must confess you a burning secret that I have and maybe you trust me now. I not only appreciate you, Zach, but I’m in love with you.

-What? –I was totally astonished then.

-I fell in love with you the first day when I saw you coming totally nude from your office to mine, then crawling on the floor towards my cock, which not only you sucked, but you jerked yourself off showing me you were enjoying, and when I came in your mouth, you came too. You thanked me and told me you would do it every day. My admiration for such a courageous man, who had just shown me that however degraded, was a real man, made me fall in love with you deeply. And since then my admiration has increased. I could have kept you as my cockroach forever but I promised you twenty days and here I am at last, fulfilling my promise and telling you I love you, for I cannot help it, my sweetest brother.

-Robin, please, now I know you love me, I like you more, so please keep on degrading me; I need it. But once I know you love me, I will give you one more gift. You told me to tell you this one day calling you Sir, but I’d rather call you by your name now for I know now that you love me and will prefer to hear your name.

-What is it you will tell me, Zach?

I looked at him with no doubts and told him.

-Robin, I want you to fuck me.

-Are you sure about it, Zach? I’ve never been fucked. I’m really frightened about the pain and never made up my mind.

-I’ll resist any pain for you, my dear brother, my dear Robin. I don’t care it hurts and of course I will never fuck you but you will fuck me. Look, we can go to our house now, which is not under you name, don’t know yet whether one day I would do it. But there you can fuck me. And not only that: we can even sleep together tonight and that way the house is not mine, it’s ours and not only today. You may after now always sleep with me and we will share the house.

-Are you sure about everything, Zach?

-Absolutely sure. And now please let’s go to our house.

But first he showed me all the legal papers he’d brought with him, and I never doubted anymore that he was Isaac Pollock’s son, my brother.

Hugging together and sometimes stopping on the road so that I could kiss him and often telling him: “never fear me, my sweet Robin”, we finally reached my luxurious two-storey house.