The Trombone Player

From Part 2

I needed to hold him and to love him, and he had pulled away from me again.

I went into the hallway. “Tom! Tom! Please don’t run away from me. I need you. Where are you?” There was movement from the room down the hall. I heard the click of the door’s being unlocked. I stepped toward it. The door slowly opened.

Tom peered at me with one eye. “I should take you home, Steve. I’m sorry.”

“No, Tom. You’re going to tell me what’s wrong. You have to. I can tell that something is eating you alive. I’m having feelings for you, pretty strong ones. And I sense that you’re feeling the same way. Whatever this is, it’s standing between us. I want to help you, to help us.”

“I can’t.” I could hear the stopped-up sound of someone who’d been crying.

I reached forward for his hand. “You have to trust me.” I placed my hand against the small opening. My heart ached. I wanted this man; I was falling in love with this man. “I’ll do everything I can to help you.”

Tom opened the door and put his hand in mine. I pulled him into the hall. “Let’s go sit on the bed in your room.” He followed me in and sat. His eyes were red and puffy. I could tell that he was tense. “It’s OK, Tom.”

“You don’t deserve this behavior. I know that.” His voice was barely audible. “I’m just so ashamed.” His eyes well up, and a few tears fell down his cheeks. When I was made fun of as a teenager, I tried to tell myself it was because the kids were just assholes.” The tears really began to flow.

“I’m sure they were assholes. Most guys are, even the ones who say they’re your friends will treat you like shit. They find a weak point and won’t let go. I won’t do that to you.”

Tom pulled off his t-shirt. He had beautifully developed pecs. The hair that covered them was straight and thicker at the bottom edge.

“They’re fucking sexy,” I said.

“My nipples aren’t even.”

“Huh?” I looked and saw nothing. I moved in front of him. “Well, maybe this one is slightly closer to the midline than that one, but it’s completely normal.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m saying it because it’s true. That’s one fucking sexy chest. Your pecs are beautiful, and they have just the right amount of hairiness. I could bury my face in them forever.” I leaned forward and kissed him. Surely that slight variation couldn’t cause him that much grief. Had his boyhood friends been that cruel?

“There’s more.” His eyes welled up again. I wiped his tears and kissed him.

“OK.” I nodded. “Tell me.”

“I’ve only sucked two dicks in my life, and yours was one of them. I’ve never had mine sucked.”

I could see why no one had ever performed oral on him. At this point, his emotional state would not have let another man close enough. What had those monsters done to him? He was a wonderful man as far as I could tell.

“Oh, Steve, I don’t have a penis,” he blurted out before throwing his hands in front of his face.

I have to admit that I was shocked by that revelation. Myriad questions popped into my head. Was he trans? Had he been in a horrible accident? Was he simply born without one? None of those things would keep me from loving him physically. I think his being able to tell me made me love him a little bit more.

“You don’t have to say that you’re disgusted by it.”

I grabbed his head and turned him to face me. “The trouble is that I’m not disgusted by it. The trouble is that you would think that I would be.”

“You’re not?” He seemed truly surprised. “Then what are you thinking?”

“I’m wondering what happened.”

“I was born this way.”

“And you think it makes you unlovable?” I asked.

His lip began to quiver.

“Tom, let’s both be naked and face this.”

“The last time a man saw me naked, he…”

“I’m not that man,” I said. “It doesn’t matter what he said. He’s irrelevant. It may take you a while to realize that, and maybe we need to talk to a professional to help us deal with it, but you’re not alone in this. I’m here.”

Tom stood up and pushed his shorts and underwear off. Before me, I saw a nice-sized scrotum with some above-average-sized testicles and what seemed to be a penis that had pulled in from the cold. I reached out and began to massage the balls in my hand. A thin erect penis pushed out about two inches from the pubic hair that surrounded it.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Tom. You’ve got a dick.”

“But it’s so small, I might as well not have one,” he said while looking away.

“Fuck that! A dick’s a dick.” I wrapped my hands around his ass and pulled his cock into my mouth. I didn’t need to worry about gagging on it, but what I discovered was how I was able to play with it. My tongue moved around the head. I increased the vacuum as my lips held tightly to it at the base. The tip of my tongue slid along the slit. I pushed the shaft against the roof of my mouth and vigorously moved my tongue back and forth. I heard Tom begin to moan; his hands grabbed my head, and he unloaded into my mouth. There was a slight bitterness to his cum, but I swallowed. His second load was creamier and saltier. His third load was like the second. I released his cock, and he sat on the bed.  

Tears ran down Tom’s cheeks. I kissed him.  

“Your balls look awfully full so we’ll need to do that as many times as possible.”

He grabbed me and hugged me. “They made fun of me so many times, and then, on my first date, he laughed and said if he wanted to fuck a woman he would have dated a real woman.”

“You didn’t deserve that. And anyone who says something like that is a piece of shit.”

His arms grabbed me and pulled me to him. He continued to sob.

“It’s OK, Tom. I think we’re taking our first steps to happiness.”

He looked up at me and smiled through his tears. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.”

During the next month, Tom and I began to see a family therapist. He recommended that Tom see someone else on his own. It seemed that what he admitted to me was not the only thing that had happened to him. Our therapist said that I needed to prepare myself and decide whether I was strong enough to help him deal with it. I knew that I had to be. Tom was the only man I had ever met who made me feel happy just by being in the same room.

I prayed for God to give me strength.