Dearly Beloved
“I must’ve been out of my fucking mind to agree to this!” I said to the mirror while I straightened my tie for what felt like the thousandth time.
Walt scolded me from behind. “It’s too late to back out now. Besides, you’ve made the boys so happy, and you look spectacular.”
I slapped the loose skin under my chin. “I look like some old Tom turkey trussed up for the oven. I should have those ridiculous little paper puffs over my hands like they put on turkey legs to make them look good on the platter. When the fuck did I get this old?”
“About the same time I did, Love. Don’t be so profane. You’re about to conduct a wedding ceremony.”
I wagged my finger at him. “Oh no! Don’t you start that nonsense. I’m not a priest. I’m not even pretending to be one. I’m an actor on a stage. Ask Larry and Stephan; they’ll tell you. I might fire off a few four-letter words from the pulpit, so no one gets the wrong idea.”
“Don’t you dare! The chapel set is beautiful. Larry did such a nice job with it. It looks just like a white church in a fairy tale. Play your part and marry them like you said you would.”
“Yeah, yeah, I will.” I straightened my tie again. I still wasn’t happy with it, but I couldn’t seem to make it any better. I felt in my pocket for my speech, but it wasn’t there. I panicked. “OH MY GOD! WHERE’S MY SPEECH?”
Walt held it in front of my face. “You asked me to hold it so the ink wouldn’t smear in your pocket. I don’t know what you’re worried about. You practiced it to death. You know it forward and backwards. You could probably say it standing on your head.”
I mopped my face with my saturated handkerchief. I was sweating like…like something that sweats a lot. I’d never been so nervous in all my life. “I’m so afraid I’ll go out on stage, and all the words will disappear like a fart in a gust of wind.”
He pursed his lips with disapproval. “Eloquent, Love. Try to keep your aphorisms to yourself, at least through the ceremony.”
“What the fuck is an aphorism? Please don’t say shit like that until this is over. I’m a wreck.”
“But why are you?”
“I just want everything to be perfect for Larry and Stephan. I feel like I’m marrying my own son off. I want them to always look back on this day and say it was the best day they ever had. I want them to remember me as a man who knew what he was doing. I want them to think they made the right choice when they asked me to marry them.”
He smoothed my hair and straightened my tie and put my handkerchief away and gave me my speech. “You’ll do fine. Just remember to breathe. The boys…I mean the young men love you. They asked you to do this because they love you. They’re not holding their love as a condition of your performance. Just say the words and mean them and everything will be fine. I’ll be in audience. If you get scared, look for me.”
I seized him and kissed his mouth. “I love you so much, do you know that?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Good. Thanks for the pep talk. I think I’ll be alright now.”
Pomp and Circumstance blared through the theater sound system. I was due out front, but I froze. “HOLY FUCK! I’M ON!”
He straightened my shoulders and shook me bodily. “You can do this! Just get out there and do it!” He gave me a shove toward the edge of the curtain. I walked around it and under the bright stage lights. I moved behind the pulpit and was overjoyed that the footlights shone right in my face. I couldn’t see a thing past the edge of the stage.
Larry and Stephan came up and stood before me. I saw only them and their elegant tuxedos. I pretended we were alone, just them and me and Walt somewhere behind the lights. I opened my papers and started the ceremony. “Dearly beloved…”
* * * *
I managed to perform the entire ceremony without a mistake or even a stumble. Larry and Stephan exchanged vows and rings. I thought their vows were touching and beautiful as they spoke them. I forgot everything but the impression as soon as they finished because I was so focused on my own performance. I hoped Walt would remember enough to tell me about them later.
I pronounced them ‘wedded’ without saying the word ‘lawfully’ and told them to kiss each other, which they did hungrily. The audience that I couldn’t see roared with cheers and applause. They were loud enough to practically lift the roof from the old theater. The footlights came down and the house lights came up. I could finally see that all the seats of the lower level of the theater were filled with celebrating people. Pomp and Circumstance played again, and the newlyweds retreated from the stage to form a receiving line for their friends.
I stayed rooted behind the pulpit until Walt came up from the orchestra pit to get me. “Come, dear, it’s time to greet the newlyweds and go to the reception.”
“Did I do alright?”
He hugged me and kissed my mouth. “Yes, you did wonderfully. The boys look so happy. They’ll remember this day for the rest of their lives. You were perfect.”
I flipped my hand toward the crowd. “There’s so damn many. Thank God I couldn’t see because of the lights. How do they know so many?”
“They’re all theater people. Stephan said they’re a tight-knit community.”
“There’s more women than I thought there would be.”
“Stephan said a lot of the men are straight, but there’s enough queer men that they get used to being around each other. Neither the queers nor the straights mind each other. The women don’t mind either. Everyone wanted to wish them well. They only planned to have a hundred, but they wound up inviting three hundred, so there wouldn’t be hurt feelings. I think they got RSVPs back from about two-fifty.”
“WOW!”
“Yes, I’m glad I’m not catering the reception. Walt’s Special isn’t built for a crowd this big.”
“I’m glad you’re not too. I don’t need anything else to obsess over.”
“You had no reason to be nervous. You were perfect.”
We climbed down from the stage and joined the end of the reception line.
I thought of Larry’s father and wished he was present. “It’s a shame David couldn’t be here to see this. I guess he’s planting his crops and couldn’t make the trip.”
Walt knew more than I did about the matter. “Poor Larry and David. Stephan told me what happened. Larry wrote his folks that he planned to get married. His father got the letter and telephoned from a booth in a saloon one town over. He does that sometimes when he and Larry need to talk about things that his wife, Abby, shouldn’t hear. Larry wanted to invite his parents, but he was worried about his mother. He didn’t think she’d be able to handle the facts of his once-decadent lifestyle. She would inevitably hear about it from the couple’s friends.
“Poor David was also worried about accidentally exposing his queerness. He’d be surrounded by attractive queer men. He wouldn’t make advances to any of them, but he was worried what Abby might perceive from his interactions. Father and son decided it was best if they didn’t attend. David promised to visit as soon as they could, probably this winter. Larry is worried about that too because of how artsy their apartment is. He said he might have to hang curtains in front of something called ‘The New Adam.’ What’s that?”
“It’s the nude male painting Larry posed for. It covers the entire wall of their living room.”
“Oh my! Something like that would be difficult to hide and impossible to explain.”
“Exactly.”
“It’s a shame they can’t be who they are.”
I agreed with one major caveat. “If David had been who he was, Larry wouldn’t exist.”
“Fair enough, Love.”
* * * *
We had such fun at the reception. Walt and I danced as much as we could. Whenever the band played actual music instead of modern trash, we showed the youth in the crowd what real dancing looks like. At least, that’s what Walt did. I held onto him and tried not to trip us up.
We caught up with Alex Scofield, the lawyer who helped when Larry was arrested for murder back in 1953. We also spent time with Harrison Stiles and his partner, Jimmy Weaver. They’d finally moved in together and were like newlyweds in their late middle age. The rest of the time we gawked at the theater people who were all trying to outdo each other in ostentation.
I saw men in bridesmaid’s dresses, women in tuxedos, and once the liquor started to flow, all manner of semi-tame debauchery. I tried to look upon it with good humor, but I could easily see how Larry and Stephan could fill their house with revelers for a sex party. There was enough naughtiness on the dancefloor to suggest an orgy might break-out at any time.
Quite a few people shook my hand to thank me for officiating the ceremony. Too many of them called me ‘Father.’ I insisted that I was not a priest and offered my wedding ring as proof. They assumed I was a priest from a Christian sect that allowed priests to get married, and that I was there in secret from my congregation. One even said, “don’t worry, father. You’re doing God’s work, no matter what the church says.”
Several queer couples and one straight couple asked if I’d officiate their weddings. I was nearly apoplectic when Walt whisked me away so we could watch Stephan and Larry leave together. They drove away in their silly little Volkswagen with ‘Just Married’ painted on the back window and old tin cans tied to the bumper.
The pair was on their way to the artist’s colony of New Hope to spend a week in the peace and quiet of a bed and breakfast hotel that catered to queer clientele. I had no doubt they would enjoy themselves. I hoped we’d be able to see them before Walt and I left for Montana on the first week of May. Even if we didn’t, we’d certainly see them when we got back.
We watched the couple’s car disappear around the far corner of the block, then headed toward our car for the short drive home. We were both tired.
Walt drove like he always did. He said something I didn’t expect when we got in the car. “You’re amazing, Love.”
“Am I? What do you mean?”
“Look at all you’ve done in the last months. You took Doc in, helped him find his purpose, then turned him out into the world where he’s making good. You helped me through a life-changing event. Not only did you help me, but you held our relationship together in spite of how much I fought you. You saw that our friends were living in a dangerous and destructive fashion. You made it your business, encouraged them to choose a better path, then officiated their wedding.
“You’ve also been more serene since you visited Father Groff to talk about your nightmares. You confessed your sins and presumably repented them. You’re praying every day and you always make sure we’re in church on Sunday, something you never much cared about in the past. Every life you’ve touched, you’ve improved, including your own. That makes you amazing in my book.”
I dismissed the praise. “I don’t think I did anything special. I just helped people do what’s best for them.”
“Nonsense. Look what you did for Malcom. If you would have left it to me, I would have let him go to jail.”
I was shocked. “Would you really?”
“He hurt something that’s very important to me. He tried to damage Walt’s Special. I wasn’t in the forgiving mood that day when we talked to him at the police station. When you said to dismiss the charges, I decided to go along. I assumed you saw something in the young man that I hadn’t.”
I didn’t understand where Walt’s attitude came from. “What about the job you gave him and the apartment and all that?”
“I only offered him a job because I thought it was something you would do. It felt good to do it. It feels good to know how well he’s doing. That nice young Lion is coming for another visit this Monday after his classes. I can’t wait to see him. He’s much happier and easier in his mind now too. Our literary discussions have gotten so much more interesting now that he’s not worried about his little brother all the time. Malcom is having friends to his apartment now, too. I think he’s even got a girl. They don’t seem like troublemakers either.”
I agreed. “They’re not. Owen has been keeping an eye on them. His friends are nice young people who have fun together.”
Walt nodded like I made his point. “You see? You make everyone better. You should give yourself credit. Stop thinking you’re such a bad man.”
I sighed at the windshield. “Maybe someday. I’m not there yet.”
“Maybe you’ll find your peace in Montana. Everyone says to go west. We’ll be there in just about two weeks.”
“I can’t wait!”
“Me neither.”
The End
Of Part One
Epilogue
Hello my friend! Welcome to the end of Part 1. I hope you liked the tale. This was not a traditional Law Edwards story. The mystery was largely absent. You may ask what happened. I’m forced to answer that I’m not entirely sure.
I always wanted this story to be a bit of a fan service tale. I wanted to catch up with old friends and check in with new ones. I wanted to explore Law’s character as he ages. I wanted to know how he’d deal with a personal tragedy of sorts. The idea of Walt’s heart attack seemed a reasonable one to disrupt our heroes in the rut their lives were in and to force them to make changes. This would lead to a dynamic situation ripe for drama.
I introduced Doc as both the object of sympathy and the subject of the mystery. I set the story up and wrote several chapters and sat back and said, ‘but who cares?’
Here’s what I mean by that. Law chases Doc away. Law feels guilty and looks for Doc. Let’s say Law finds him, so what? There’s no great mystery. There’s no big reveal. The only way the story would be compelling is if Doc turned out to be a bad person, a criminal or the like. The other way would be to murder Doc and send Law on a crusade to find the killer. I couldn’t do it. I liked Doc too much.
I shifted the story away from the mystery of Doc and put the focus on Law and his personal demons. I also tossed in Larry and Stephan for color. When I introduced them, and they put on their show for Law, I only intended to have them in the story for a chapter or two and then done. That didn’t work because of how decadent the couple turned out being. Law would never leave something like that alone, so they became a major focus in the latter half of the tale.
When I first started to write, I blasted through chapters until I reached where Law and Walt were together at the restaurant and Malcom threw his brick. The story stalled there for months and I could go no further. I even wrote a whole different story of Walt and Law in Montana with the idea that this story would remain unpublished and I would launch that story instead.
I kept coming back to this tale though. I thought it had value. The Montana story is also a bit shorter than the other mysteries (yes, that one is actually a mystery), so I mashed the stories together and made them part 1 and part 2.
I hope you liked ‘The Relentless Passage of Time.’ It was more Hallmark Movie than gritty mystery, but I think there was value in it and fun moments. I hope you’ll like part 2, ‘Montana Sky,’ which will be published immediately behind this one.
Happy to have you along for the adventure! Thanks for reading and commenting. The comments make my day!
Because this is technically the mid-point of the tale, I’ll keep the epilogue short.
Thanks again!
Sam Stefanik
To get in touch with the author, send them an email.
