Brothers in Law
I woke with a gasp and sat up in bed. The room was bright. Church sat at the round breakfast table where he’d blown me the afternoon before. For a quick second, I thought he was dressed in his black compression gear again. I blinked to clear the sleep film from my eyes and realized the dark color he wore was his fur. He read from a tablet and had a cup of coffee in front of him.
The coffee didn’t mean anything about the time of day. He drank it all day long. He looked up from his tablet and smiled. “It’s about time you woke up. I was starting to worry.”
I rubbed my eyes. “What time is it?”
“Just about ten.”
“TEN!”
“Yeah. I almost woke you, but you were sleeping so peacefully, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.” He raised his coffee cup toward me. “You want coffee, or breakfast, or do you want to clean up first?”
I didn’t know what I wanted. I rubbed my temples with the first two fingers of each of my hands. Crazy, mixed-up memories flashed in my mind. Some seemed real while others were so improbable, they had to be dreams. I remembered being tangled up with Ancil and Church in all manner of positions and combinations. “What happened last night?”
His guard went up. He was apprehensive and a little ashamed. “We went too far is what; way, WAY too far.” He rubbed the back of his neck with the heel of his nervous left hand. “We both needed some stress relief. I was angry about finding your father at Jo’s. You were balled up about being here. Your anxiety got worse when your brother showed up. Pissed me off to find him and my brother here. I thought it would be good to lose ourselves for a while, and…and maybe it would have been, but we went too far.”
“You keep saying that, but what does it mean?”
“I poured my power out last night, more than ever before. I wanted to give us the energy we needed to have sex until you felt better. We kept going and going and going. Usually, you put the brakes on, but last night, you didn’t. With nothing to stop us, I kept sharing magic and we kept having sex. Hours went by. After a hell of a long time, you started to seem a little out of it. I asked if you wanted to stop, but you didn’t.”
I remembered the moment. I was on my stomach. Church was on top of me. His huge, heavy body pressed me into the bed while he pounded my ass for the nth time. He finished inside me and turned me over so Ancil could ride me again. I felt strange, like my mind was adrift. Church noticed. He asked if I was ok. I replied with a single word. “MORE!” Ancil mounted me and rode while Church used his magic to tease my nipples and penetrate my butt. I remembered the start of my climax, but nothing else.
I rubbed my temples again over the memory. “I can’t believe you finally managed to fuck me unconscious.”
Church rubbed his neck again. “Yeah, scared the hell out of me. You had an orgasm, then your eyes rolled up and you passed out. Ancil has some medical training. You remember that was part of the requirement for any of the servants who would be in charge of the children. He checked you out and said you were just unconscious. I shut the magic down after that. Ancil and me kept an eye on you for a while, then we went to bed. It was really late, like two in the morning.”
I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples for a third time. Everything felt like it was out of control. Instead of starting my summer vacation with Jo’s family like I was supposed to, I was in my father’s house which is a place I never thought I’d be again. For some reason, my brother was also here. My husband and my friend had managed to literally fuck me unconscious. I felt overwhelmed, so I tried to put my mind onto something else. I pointed at Church’s tablet. “What are you reading?”
He picked it up and touched the screen to wake it from the automatic sleep mode. “It’s an article in that medical journal you like, The Valetudo. It’s pretty interesting. I’ve been reading about the different ways magic is expressed by the human body. It seems that both physical magic, like telekinesis, and empathic magic, like telepathy or clairvoyance, have the same source within the body. This article talks about a study which suggests the personality of the magic user is what causes a power to specialize toward the physical or the empathic. Broadly speaking, physical magic users are more interested in things while empathic magic users are more interested in people. Isn’t that neat?”
I didn’t have any thoughts about whether the topic was ‘neat’ or not. I was more focused on the fact that my one-time tradesman husband was reading a medical journal, which he apparently completely understood. I thought I’d gotten over my fear that he and I were sharing too much, but as if it wanted to keep company with all the other worries of the morning, that one returned full force. I worried freshly about losing my unique self and somehow becoming of one mind with him. I’d barely been awake for a full minute and already I was overwhelmed.
Church felt my anxiety as much as I did. He apologized for it. “I’m sorry. I thought a wild session last night would help. I guess all I did was make things worse.”
I dropped my head into my hands and rubbed my face with both of my palms. I lowered my hands to stare at them like they’d betrayed me. I never rubbed my face when I was anxious, Church did. The mannerism was exclusively his. I rubbed my temples when I was overwhelmed. I also tended to make a fist with my left hand and squeeze it with my right. The fact that I rubbed my face, and that it felt completely natural, was alarming.
I closed my eyes and tried to find my center. I took several long, slow, deep breaths and worked to force calm over my psyche. My panic receded. I placed myself outside my troubles and tried to look at them objectively. I couldn’t fix any of them, but I could address the symptoms.
I spoke my thoughts aloud. “No more magic sharing for a while. Not until we understand what’s happening.”
He agreed. “I’m with you. Even I’m ready to take it easy after last night.”
“Good. As for the rest of the trouble, I’m in my father’s house, but only for a little while. Bem will sort out the security issues, and we’ll get back to our vacation.”
Church offered an update. “He’s already here. He got in this morning and went right to work. He called a meeting with the entire local security force. He’s going through them one at a time to find out where the lapse occurred. He’s supposed to stop in later and give us an update.”
I was happy to hear progress was being made. “Leave it to Bem to jump into the problem with both feet. I’m so glad he’s in charge.”
“Me too. I apologized again for yelling at him yesterday. He accepted, even though he hit me with a violation of the Second Commandment.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head.
I enjoyed a laugh at his reaction. When Bem learned about Christianity, and specifically about Catholicism, he immersed himself in the faith. He took classes online and eventually became a lay preacher. He was good at it, even though he tended to be a stickler for the rules.
Church had been a militant atheist for most of his adult life before I met him. He returned to the faith because he believed God helped him to find me when I was kidnapped. Since then, he’d been an active churchgoer. He also did his best to live according to the Commandments, but his language remained profane and often blasphemous. Bem regularly gigged him for violating ‘number two,’ which was thou shall not take the Lord’s name in vain. Church typically flipped him off in response.
I loved Bem and trusted him to resolve the security issue with speed and thoroughness. Until he finished his work, I would have to endure being at my father’s house. I coached myself to find some positivity among the stress. “Maybe I can get some ‘brother time’ with Primis. I haven’t seen him in a while.”
I tilted my head toward Church. “You could use some time with Joe. We could all use some time together. I wonder if they would do something with us. Maybe we could go climbing. There used to be a park nearby with an outdoor wall. It’s probably still there. That’s where I first got interested in the hobby. Joe and Primis aren’t as physically motivated as us, but they keep themselves in decent shape. What do you think?”
He grabbed his phone from the table. “I think I’ll set it up while you get ready for the day. We can make an afternoon of it. We’ll have a climb and then go to lunch. It’ll be fun.”
I hopped off the bed and went to shower.
* * * *
Church had to do some cajoling to get Primis and Joe to climb with us. They eventually agreed. The outdoor climbing park was open to the general public, but it was still within the gated community where my father lived. That put it within the security perimeter maintained by Church’s people. Ancil still sent two guards and contacted the local assets to provide additional coverage from a distance.
Church and I had our climbing stuff, but Primis and Joe had to rent shoes and gloves from the kiosk at the park. We outfitted ourselves quickly and picked our lanes on the wall. Church and I went to the advanced section but stayed close to the intermediate lanes so Joe and Primis could keep up. We still made it to the summit ahead of them, but not by much. The flat top of the artificial mountain offered a great view because, at two hundred feet, it was much taller than anything around it.
Primis took a towel from his pocket to wipe a bead of sweat from his eye. “That was fun! I’m glad we agreed to do this. Joseph and I don’t get as much exercise as we should. Maybe we should start climbing again.” Primis poked Joe to get his attention. “What do you think? When we first got to know each other, we used to climb at the estate all the time. I never thought I’d like it, but I did. You did too.”
Joe pushed his sweaty hair back from his forehead and wiped his hand on his shirt. “I did like it. I liked it more because you were there. We don’t seem to spend time like we used to. We’re together a lot, but we don’t…I don’t know.” He trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand.
Church and I both noticed the awkwardness our brothers seemed to feel around the topic of their relationship. I told myself to talk to Primis later and to get Church to talk to Joe. I didn’t want to interfere but hoped I could at least be a sympathetic ear if my brother needed one.
Primis changed the subject. He took advantage of the view to point out several landmarks around the neighborhood. “Look, there’s Dad’s house. Over there is the elementary school we went to. My friend Zeb lived over there. My other friend Col lived there. I haven’t seen those two in years. I should get ahold of them. Might be fun to catch up. I loved being a kid here. This was a great place to grow up!” He looked my way and his smile faded. “What?”
I realized I had a scowl on my face. I smoothed my expression and lifted my shoulders in an indifferent shrug. “You and I had very different experiences. I hated it here. I still hate it.”
“Why?”
“Why? What do you mean ‘why?’ How could you ask me that? Dad treated me like some kind of interloper. Mom didn’t do anything about it. I felt like an outsider for my whole childhood. The best thing that ever happened to me was when Mom sent me away to live with Uncle Ars.”
He looked confused, like he didn’t understand what I was saying. “Dad’s not perfect, but I don’t think he ever mistreated either of us.”
I was stunned. I didn’t understand how he could say that I wasn’t mistreated. I reached for the only example I thought I needed. “He had me kidnapped…for money!”
Primis waved his hand in the air like it was a whisk broom sweeping away dust. “He told me all about that. Your kidnapping wasn’t his fault. It was all Domus. The only thing Dad is guilty of is trusting his friends too much.”
Church stepped between me and my brother. As he did, I felt the full force of his bottled-up rage. He didn’t like what my brother said any more than I did. He held his hands up toward Primis. “Enough! It’s enough. No more of this talk. It’s upsetting to Shawn and it’s upsetting to me. We came here to do something together. Let’s not spoil it.”
Joe unexpectedly took my side. He put his hand on Primis’ shoulder and added his support. “I’m with Church. It’s a nice day. We’re with people we don’t see often enough. We’re having fun. Let’s save the difficult discussions for some other time. Besides, everyone knows that no two kids grow up in the same house.”
It was Church’s turn to be confused. “What are you talking about?”
Joe expanded on his statement. “No two kids grow up in the same house. Look at us. You were the first. Our parents were younger when you were born. They were stricter about everything. They were hard on you, definitely harder than they were on me. I was the last child, the baby. They treated me differently than they treated you. They were less demanding because they were getting older. Time and family life smoothed some of the rough edges from the harsh way they raised you. They knew more and cared a little less.
“Mary was the middle child, and I think we can both agree she was the favorite. She was also a girl. As much as it was possible for Mom to dote on anyone, she doted on Mary. That’s the point I’m making. The three of us had very different experiences in the same household. As a result, our views of our parents are different. All kids are like that.”
I stepped out from behind Church to thank Joe for his wisdom. “I like that, Joseph. I’ll have to think about it some more, but I see the point you’re making. Each child experiences a different dynamic in the family. When Church and I first started having children, we went to great lengths to treat each of them the same. By the time the third came along, our first, Josephine, was old enough to develop her personality. That’s when we started to realize that children aren’t all the same. They don’t respond the same way to a completely even-handed approach. Some needed to be coddled and some resented being coddled. As hard as we tried to be fair, I’m sure our children would tell different tails about the way we raised them.”
Joe agreed with my assessment. “That’s exactly my point. That’s why it’s so hard for siblings to talk about their upbringing, especially if one of them feels slighted by it. It might be good for you and Preem to have this conversation, but let’s not do it now. We’ve recovered from our climb up. Let’s climb down and get something to eat. Let’s enjoy each other’s company.”
We all agreed and started our descent.
* * * *
We had a nice climb and a pleasant lunch. We ate at a local café which Primis frequented in his teen years and which he and Joe went to when they visited my father. The place was owned by Miss Fama. She turned out to be a prying, nosy old woman who professed to be very surprised that Primis wasn’t an only child. The conversation with her got under my skin. She made me feel completely invisible with the way she went on and on about how much she liked my father and how much he always told her about my brother and his myriad accomplishments.
Church felt my upset and put an end to the chatter with a little sharp rudeness. The woman was affronted, Primis and Joe were indignant, but I loved my husband for looking out for my feelings. That small incident aside, the meal was good and the conversation lively.
Our time together made me realize that I didn’t spend enough time with my brother. I didn’t know him very well despite our shared heritage. I wanted to remedy the situation and to offer to help him at the same time. When we returned to my father’s house after lunch, I asked for a private word.
Church went to our room to finish the article he’d been reading. Joe went to do whatever Joe does. I walked to the end of the hallway with Primis and opened the door to my childhood bedroom. We went in and looked around.
The room was the smallest on the second floor, with just enough space for a bed, a dresser, and a tiny table with two chairs. The few belongings I left behind when I moved out were no longer there. I wondered if the room had been depersonalized so it could be used for guests or if it was done to erase my presence from the house. I hadn’t particularly wanted to see the artifacts of my lonely childhood, but in some ways, their absence made me feel even more unwanted than if they had been present.
I offered my brother a chair and we both sat at the small table. I opened the window to let in the soft, spring day. I was still trying to figure out how to open the conversation when Primis did it for me. “Are you alright?”
“Not even a little. There’s too much ugly history here for me to be at ease within these walls. I never thought I’d set foot in this house again. Now that I’m here, I can’t wait to leave.”
He looked out the window. He had an expressive face which displayed his emotions as clearly as if each was branded on his forehead. He frowned as he considered what I said. “I guess I understand. I’ve been thinking about our talk on top of the climbing wall. Dad really did treat you poorly. He treated our mother poorly as well. I never noticed much because he was always nice to me.”
“You were his favorite.”
He tried to object to the label, but he couldn’t. “I guess I was. I never asked to be anyone’s favorite. I never asked to be treated well or for you to be treated ill.”
“I know that. I don’t blame you for what father did.” I thought about what I said and offered a correction. “I resented you when we were kids because I thought you should have stood up for me. You were older. I thought you should have looked out for me, but you didn’t. I resented mom for the same reason. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that mom couldn’t look out for me because she never even looked out for herself. You couldn’t do it because you had no motivation to. We weren’t close. It was never us against him. It was you and father against us.”
He took his face out of the window to object. “I don’t think that’s fair to say. I…”
I interrupted to apologize. “I’m sorry, that didn’t come out right. I don’t want to accuse you of anything. I felt very alone here. Father was either indifferent or hostile to me. Even when I came back to introduce Church when we decided to be married, he treated both of us like something he scraped off his shoe. You never said anything different, so I took it for granted that you felt like he did.
“I was shocked when I found out how you brought information to Church when I was kidnapped. I didn’t think you cared about me at all. I’m glad you came to help back then. I’m glad you met Joe and married into my family. I know we were already family, but we were never very good at being brothers. We’ve been much better brothers-in-law.”
He accepted my words with a single shallow nod. “I guess I see what you mean. We never did things together when we were kids. I didn’t even know what you were interested in. I knew you read a lot. I remember you liked to run. I knew you wanted to be a doctor. Other than those things,” he shrugged, “I didn’t know much else. I never tried to find out either. I never asked your favorite color, or what you wanted for your birthday. I never knew what kind of music you listened to, or what stories you liked. It’s not that I didn’t care. I guess no one taught me that I should care.”
I understood where he was coming from. “I helped to raise ten children. Church did most of the nurturing, but I was there to help. You’re right when you say they have to be taught. Children come into the world as a blank slate. They have to be taught to love and care for each other. They have to be given love and led by example. You and me weren’t taught the right way.”
He tapped his fingers contemplatively on the white tabletop, from pinky to index and back again. “No offense, but Church doesn’t seem like the nurturing type. He’s so big and loud. The way he talked to Miss Fama at the café earlier was mean. She’s a nice lady. He had no call to be rude to her. Father talks about his army of security people. I don’t think he’s right to have all those people watching your children and their families. They shouldn’t have to live like that.”
I understood my brother’s perception of my husband. From the outside looking in, Church’s actions could seem cruel and overbearing. I knew different. “My husband’s life has been filled with difficult lessons. Those he loves, he loves fiercely. I don’t always agree with his methods, but I appreciate the safety he provides for my family and friends. He would move heaven and Earth to protect the people he cares about.”
“Earth?” Primis asked.
I chuckled over my use of the phrase. I didn’t know if my automatic use of it was because of the years I’d heard Church use it, or if it was from our recent oversharing of magic. Either way, the fact that I’d used it without thinking struck my sense of humor. “You know what I mean. Trust me that he is a good man with the best of intentions. As to his nurturing side, that big and loud man can be as soft as a flower petal. He is the sweetest man I’ve ever met.”
“I don’t know enough to argue, so I won’t.”
“Good. With that out of the way, tell me about you. Your wife sent you here to work on your relationship with Joe. What does that mean? Are you not getting along?”
He tapped his fingers as he formulated his answer. He didn’t seem to know what to say. It took him a while to come up with something. “I’m in love with Joseph. Between you and me and no one else, I want him all to myself. I love Dignissium too, but it’s not the same. She’s lovely, but she’s too much for me. Her personality is too big. I also don’t think she cares very much for me. I don’t know that she cares much for Joseph either. When we’re all together, I feel like an accessory, like something she carries with her to accentuate her dress. I don’t want to share Joseph with her anymore.
“I also don’t want to follow her around the world anymore. She loves to travel and always be among new people in new places. I find it exhausting. I want to live in one place and go to work in the morning and come home in the evening and be with the man I love. I don’t want to live out of a suitcase and do my work wherever I can find a place to set up my tablet. I don’t want to be in and out of airplanes and hotels and theaters all the time. I’m worn thin with it.”
I leaned into my brother’s words to understand them better. My initial thought was that they weren’t particularly surprising. I’d seen how the three of them interacted when they were together. Dignissium always spoke for everyone. She was always out in front of everything. Joe and Primis tended to follow behind like loyal dogs. I’d wondered for a while if the three-way marriage was working, but I never brought it up to any of them for fear of causing offense. Now that the subject had been broached, I pursued it. “How does Joe feel?”
He shook his head and clasped his hands together on the table in a pose of uneasiness. “I don’t know. We haven’t spoken of it in those terms. I know he’s as tired of traveling as I am. As far as his relationship with Dignis, I only know the situation as I see it. I am a homosexual man who is in a three-way marriage which includes a woman. I love my wife, but I don’t enjoy her. I thought it would be alright for me to marry both of them because that was the only way for me to have what I really wanted, which was Joseph.
“Joseph says he’s bisexual, but he isn’t. He’s homosexual. I know he is. I think Dignis knows it too. When the three of us are intimate, she directs how we do things. Quite often she pairs Joseph and me while she watches. That’s when he enjoys himself the most. We get along famously when it’s just he and I, though he has never had sex with me without her. I think he’s afraid of what it would mean about him. I don’t think he’s comfortable with his sexuality.”
Everything he said matched up with what I knew about Joe and his attitudes. I wondered how far Joe’s discomfort reached into the relationship. I wondered if it affected his performance in the bedroom. “When the three of you are intimate, does he participate in all the acts? Does he engage fully, or does he hold certain things back?”
“In the beginning, he was reluctant to let me penetrate him. Eventually, Dignis broke down his resistance and now he enjoys it. He likes it when she does that to him as well.”
I didn’t understand and said as much.
He explained. “She has a prosthetic she wears to be able to participate with us on equal terms.”
“A strap-on?”
He nodded. “To use a vulgar term, yes. She said she feels like odd man out when the three of us are together. She bought the prosthesis to ‘give back as good as she gets.’”
I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms. What my brother said was thought provoking. I wondered if Dignissium saw the same thing Primis did. She struck me as a perceptive person. I wondered if the strap-on was a way to meet Joe where he was; to help him deal with any potential shame he might have about being a homosexual. I wondered if maybe she was tired of the relationship as well. Perhaps her feeling of being ‘odd man out’ extended beyond the bedroom. I proposed a course of action.
“Talk to Joe. Tell him how you feel. He’s made great strides away from the closed-minded religious zealot he was when I first met him. The things he once said to Church and I about our relationship were awful. In hindsight, he must have always had homosexual tendencies and couldn’t deal with that part of himself. It’s a common reaction on Earth. Same sex relationships were not embraced there the way they are here. That’s likely changed since Church and Joe were children. It was already changing when he and I were there sixty years ago. It must’ve gotten better in all that time.
“I assume Joe told you about the way he was raised. His family was dysfunctional. It wasn’t broken in the same way ours was, but it wasn’t receptive to anything outside of the prescribed societal norms. He’s been here a long time. Maybe he’s ready to embrace who he really is. The only way you’ll find out is to discuss it with him.”
He wasn’t certain my suggestion was a good one. “What about Dignis? I don’t enjoy her as a wife, but I don’t want to hurt her either. She’s very sensitive under all her theatrics.”
“Maybe you’re already hurting her. She’s not a stupid woman. As an actress, she knows how to read a crowd. She likely knows that you and Joe don’t enjoy her as much as heterosexual or even bisexual men would. I suggest you talk to Joe first. Once you and he can come to an understanding, you can figure out what to do about your wife.
“Even if the relationship ends, it wasn’t a waste of time for anyone. You three had fun together. You got to travel the world and meet incredible people. Maybe you’re tired of all that now, but it must’ve been exciting in the beginning. For the rest of it, if a three-way relationship isn’t right for you, figure out how to end it amicably. That way you can remain friends. If you stay together out of duty, you’ll eventually resent her.”
He played with his hands on the table for a moment, obviously uncertain whether to accept my advice or reject it. His expressive face was a grimace of strain. I added one more thought to persuade him. “Primis, I believe in God and a life after this one. I also believe that we shouldn’t wait for the next life to be happy. If you want Joe, and you think he wants you, go after him. Be honest with yourself and the person you love. Whatever happens as the result of telling the truth is the best thing that could happen.”
He pulled his hands apart and lifted them in a gesture of surrender. “You’re right. Heck, maybe Dignis was hoping for something like this when she sent us here. I’ll talk to Joseph.” He locked me with a stern gaze and amended his statement. “I’ll talk to him on the condition that you talk to father.”
My heart sank and a knot formed in the pit of my stomach. “Why would I talk to father?”
“You need to see if it’s possible to have some closure with him. I don’t expect you to forgive the way he treated you when we were kids. I also don’t expect you to forgive him for his role in your kidnapping. I might have been dismissive earlier, but I remember what happened and how scared I was at the time. I also remember how cruelly he reacted when I broke with him after you were rescued. It took a while, several years, but he and I managed to reconcile. I love my father even though he is an imperfect person. I’d like it if you could try to bury the past. You can’t fix it, or erase the hurt you feel, but maybe you can find a fresh way forward. That’s what you just urged me to do.”
I sucked a reluctant breath and sighed it out. “Alright, Primis; I’ll try.”
“Good. I’m glad. I hope it works out.”
“I hope your talk with Joe works out.”
He and I finished our discussion and stood from the small table. I closed the window and led the way from the room. I opened the door to the corridor and nearly ran headlong into my father.
“Chordus! You startled me. What are you doing in your old room? Fond memories of childhood and all that? I’m looking for your brother. Have you seen him?”
His eyes tracked behind me as Primis entered the hallway. “Oh! There you are. I wanted to see if you and Joseph wanted anything special for dinner. I thought we’d eat on the veranda. Plenty of room for the three of us and it is a fine spring day.”
Primis tried to be nice. He attempted to extend the dinner invitation. “The table on the veranda only has four places. What about Shawn and Church?”
My father would have none of it. “What about them? They are under my roof but are not my guests. I’ve invited you and Joseph to share a meal, no one else.”
I couldn’t even be bothered to be hurt by my father’s nonsense. It was too familiar for it to have the same effect as it used to. I stepped around him and strode along the hall toward the blue room where I expected to find my husband. Primis called after me. I stopped and turned but refused to move any closer.
My brother tried to salvage the moment into something useful. “Father, my brother’s name is Shawn. I would appreciate if you would refer to him by his legal name. Do it for me if you won’t do it for him.”
My father forced his response through clenched teeth. “As you say, son.”
“Good. While you’re doing things for me, I’d like the both of you to go into Shawn’s old room and have a talk.” He stepped into the room and held the door wide to beckon us inside.
Neither of us moved. My father blustered his reluctance over doing anything with me. “I don’t know what either of us have to say to each other. Chordus…uh, Shawn made his feelings well known to me and everyone else. He chose his mother and that reprehensible husband over me long ago. If he regrets his choice, it’s no affair of mine.”
Primis strode out of the room and came to my side. He stood shoulder to shoulder with me to address our father. “This is my brother, who I dearly love. I am married to the brother of his husband. Our lives are connected by blood and marriage. You are my father. We’ve had our differences, but we’ve managed to work through them.
“Why do you refuse to do the same with Shawn? Why were you always so cruel to him? Why did you refuse to acknowledge Church when Shawn tried to introduce him to the family years ago? Why did you let our mother leave as easily as you did? Why did you deliberately isolate yourself from everyone you should have held dear. You even tried to drive me away, but I refused to remain at a distance. Why, father?”
My father chewed his teeth and glared at both of us. He didn’t appreciate being questioned. He reacted in the way I expected him to, with indignance. “The manner in which I conduct my affairs is up to me! Who I choose to spend time with and how I decide to treat them is not up for debate by you or anyone else. Damn you for coming here and trying to impose your will upon me. I disinvite you to dinner. I disinvite you to stay here. Take yourselves off this instant!”
Primis rocked back on his heels as if my father’s bluster struck him with a physical blow. The display of temper was meaningless to me. I’d experienced too much of it as a child for it to impact me as an adult. My brother wasn’t as used to it as I was. The verbal attack stopped his speech as effectively as if my father clamped a hand over his mouth. Primis didn’t seem capable of a response, so I answered for both of us. “Church and I are not leaving. You know very well why we are here. We will stay until the trouble which you initiated is resolved.”
I turned to my brother to address him. “Our father does not own this house. It belongs to my husband. As his spouse, I invite you to stay. You may remain here as long as he and I do. Also, since you have been disinvited to dinner on the veranda, I invite you to dinner in our suite. Ancil will serve and we’ll have a pleasant time.”
He stared nervously like he was waiting for a lightning bolt of my father’s anger to strike me dead. Defiance wasn’t easy for him. Once upon a time, it hadn’t been easy for me. Church taught me the fine art of breaking the rules without incurring serious consequences. He would have been proud of the way I handled the situation. I looked forward to telling him about it.
I pressed my brother for an answer. “Primis?”
He nodded once and whispered a single word. “Yes.”
I clapped him on the shoulder like Church might have. “Excellent. I look forward to having you. Let’s say around five? We’ll make a real event out of it with cocktails on the balcony and a nice dinner. Maybe I’ll see if Ancil can find some candles to create atmosphere. Don’t bother to dress up. I’d be surprised if Church even wears a shirt.”
My father started to bluster again. He didn’t like the way I overruled his wishes. “PRIMIS! CHORDUS! I DEMAND YOU LEAVE HERE AT ONCE!”
Primis stiffened in response to the shouting. He seemed to hate conflict as much as I once had. I took my cue from the way Church supported me against my father’s anger the previous day. Much like he would have done, I wrapped my arm around my brother’s shoulders and pulled him against me. The angle of my arm reminded me that he was several inches shorter than me, but not as small as my father. I forced a smile on my face and responded the way Church might have. I even called my father by his first name, something he hates when it’s done by anyone he doesn’t see as his equal.
“Verpa, you can scream until you are blue in the face and it won’t get you a thing. This is my husband’s house, and you are a tenant. We shall stay in Church’s house until our business is concluded. I suggest you get used to it, because there is not one thing you can do about it.”
The muscles in his jaw bulged as he ground his teeth in anger. He pried his mouth open to speak but thought better of it and snapped it shut again. In a petty show of force, he walked directly at us. He seemed to want to bully us into stepping aside so he could get by. Primis tried to move, but I held tight and kept us in place. My father stopped in front of us. “WILL YOU LET ME BY?”
I looked down upon him from my eight or nine inches of height advantage. “Go around little man.”
A strangled grunt of rage escaped his throat. He clenched his hands into tight fists and stepped around. I held onto Primis until my father’s angry footsteps faded along the corridor and pounded down the stairs.
Once he was gone, I released my brother and started to laugh. I laughed loud and long. I laughed until tears streamed down my face. Primis stared like I’d lost my mind. “What’s the matter with you?”
I fought against my hysterics to answer. “Church is right; he’s just a little peckerhead. Did you see how short he is? I didn’t notice until he stood right in front of me. I used to be terrified of that man, but I never will be again. I’m through being hurt by his nonsense. Fuck him and his hatred.”
My brother looked along the hall to the end where my father had gone down the stairs. “I don’t understand what set him off.”
“You did when you tried to invite me to dinner.” Primis glanced along his eyes like he didn’t believe me. I tried to explain. “Don’t you see? He found us together. He probably doesn’t like the idea that we get along. He deliberately invited you to eat with him in front of me because he wanted to hurt me by his exclusion. You ruined his plans and destroyed his control over the situation when you tried to include me and Church. He tried to salvage his authority by throwing us out, but he can’t, because it’s not his house. The last straw was when you took my side over his. I’m surprised his head didn’t explode.”
Primis frowned and shook his head. “I don’t see how you can laugh over any of that.”
I shrugged indifferently. “I have to laugh. If I don’t, I’ll scream.”
I grabbed my brother’s hand and led the way down the hall. “Come on, I’ll take you back to Joe. It’s time I found Church as well.”
He allowed himself to be led, but he moved more slowly than I would have liked. He was still troubled by the conflict with our father. “I don’t understand why he seems to hate you. Whatever the reason, it must be very old. He always treated you like that, didn’t he?”
“With utter disdain.”
“There has to be a reason. I can’t imagine him being capricious enough to be so cruel with no reason.”
“What difference does it make? I’m eighty years old. He’s been awful to me my entire life. Nothing will change, and after the scene he just made, I’m past caring.”
“I’ll talk to him. I’ll find out why.”
I didn’t argue with my brother. He was on a mission to reconcile me with my father. I didn’t think it was possible, but I was tired of trying to make him see that. If he believed he could do something, I was going to let him try. I hoped he wouldn’t ruin his own relationship in the attempt.
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