The leaves fell, and the woods became quieter and colder. Until one morning, Sebastian and Shaun were greeted by thick sheets of white snow. It covered everything, from the mountains to the kitchen garden; the world around them looked clean as if it was taking a well-earned rest after working overtime. Sebastian found it calming; he had never seen so much snow in his entire life, and the only thing he wanted to do was to go outside and build a snowman. That was childish, and mentioning the idea to anyone else would’ve been a source of embarrassment, but not with Shaun.
The windows were frosted over, another indication of how cold it was outside, but it didn’t deter Sebastian.
“It’s so crazy, all of this snow in a single night,” he said, nestling his nose in the throw blanket he’d wrapped around his shoulders. “We’ll have to check on the animals.”
“Yeah,” Shaun replied sleepily. “They’ll be fine, though. They’re used to that kind of weather, and their shelters are pretty warm.”
“Isn’t the road going to be blocked?”
“You think of everything, don’t you?” Shaun laughed. “I love that about you.”
Sebastian flushed red, his cheeks burned, and his smile reflected in the glazing. Outside, a few birds frolicked in the fresh snow, the dark shapes of pine trees swaying heavily behind them. While they had been elegant and majestic before, they now appeared lumpish and tired. Winter apparently affected even the most unbending giants.
Cold reached Sebastian’s core from his bare feet, and he headed back into bed to steal the heat radiating from Shaun’s body. He was a living heat pad, and in the warmer months, it had been uncomfortable at times, but now Sebastian knew he’d seek out his presence even more. His chest hair was a bonus, and feeling it on his naked skin was as reassuring as it was fun to play with. The little twirling motions Sebastian made as he wrapped single strands of hair around his finger made Shaun laugh softly.
“It tickles,” he said, pulling Sebastian closer. “We’ll have to get out of bed eventually.”
“Guess so.”
“How’s your dick feeling?”
“It burned a little when I peed,” Sebastian admitted, kissing Shaun’s chest. “But nothing I can’t handle.”
“You’d tell me, though, right?”
“Of course, I would.”
Sebastian looked up and caught a hint of worry in Shaun’s brown eyes. For some reason, his cock swelled a bit. Shaun’s concern was sexy as hell, and it was also another reminder as to why Sebastian trusted him so completely.
The kiss Sebastian planted on Shaun’s sharp jaw was a way to show him everything was fine, but it was the one on his mouth that relaxed him.
“I know you’d never do anything to hurt me,” Sebastian said, and, chuckling, bit Shaun’s neck. “Unless you’re punishing me, and even then, I know you’re always careful.”
There was a long pause, and Sebastian almost fell back asleep when Shaun started to speak again.
“I think,” he swallowed loudly, kissing the top of Sebastian’s head. “I think I’m in love with you, hard.”
The revelation wasn’t all that surprising, but fuck, Sebastian hadn’t expected it. He’d wanted to say it ever since they’d agreed on being an actual couple. But he’d told himself it was too soon, that he’d appear too eager. Too young and immature to understand that feelings take time and that love isn’t something that happens in only a few months.
Wasn’t it?
Shit, did he have to say it back?
They liked each other, but love was a binding contract, and it meant more to Sebastian than Shaun might realize. There hadn’t been a love confession; there was only the comfortable routine they’d settled into the moment Sebastian set foot into the farm. Now, the possibility of an ever after struck harder than it should’ve. Not because Sebastian didn’t wish for it, he had every night, but because he was afraid putting such powerful words out there would destroy the balance of everything they’d built up to this point.
Instead, Sebastian leaned in for another kiss, this one more pressing and raw. Then, he sank under the cover and pulled down Shaun’s pants to reveal his hardening dick. The shaft was beautiful, the head exposed and ready to be sucked, and Sebastian had become an expert at servicing it. He licked the tip, using his tongue to moisten the head until it gleamed. The quilt was down to his knees, but the thinner summer sheet covered his head. It was thin enough to let the stark winter light filter through, and even though it was getting stuffy under there, he wasn’t ready to face Shaun.
So he sucked him off with passion, gobbled up his balls one by one until he had him breathing loud and clear. Precum poured onto Sebastian’s tongue.
A little victory.
The sheets were thrown over the edge of the bed, and Sebastian had to shut his eyes not to be blinded by the light. Shaun was sitting against the headboard, flushed and hungry, his dark hair falling over his forehead in a way that flustered Sebastian every time.
They stared at each other for a second until Shaun grabbed Sebastian and pulled him over his lap. His cock was resting against Sebastian’s crack, grinding into him without penetrating his hole.
“We can take our time, I’ll wait for you,” Shaun said, placing a tender hand on Sebastian’s cheek.
“I… I don’t want you to think that…” Sebastian looked down, almost ashamed.
“It’s okay,” Shaun laughed. “I just wanted you to know how I feel.”
Sebastian attacked his mouth, desperate for contact. Their bodies were pressed against one another, crushingly so. Not even a slip of paper could’ve fit between them, and their breathing became one. Sebastian’s hard cock was smearing a good amount of precum on Shaun’s belly, and his hole twitched, ready to be taken. He felt slutty, and shitty for being so hesitant to reciprocate the confession.
His hesitation wasn’t fair, but every time he tried to say it, it stuck in his throat.
“Fuck me!”
That he could say without a second thought.
You’re such a fucking slut.
His hole opened easily as Shaun’s cockhead breached it after applying a good amount of lube to it. It was still a bit sore from last night’s fucking, slightly painful, but he would take it as punishment for not being truthful. He pushed into the cock in his ass, stretching himself to the point it hurt. Sebastian’s face contorted in pain, and Shaun held him by the hips to stop him.
“What are you doing?” He asked. “You’re going too fast, take it easy!”
“Let me do it, I can take it,” Sebastian said, desperately holding Shaun’s face with both hands. “I’m yours, you know that, right?”
Yet, I love you was stuck in his throat.
He thought he’d grown enough to ignore his abandonment issues, or the fact that he believed that every time something good came his way, it would turn to ash eventually. Telling Shaun that he loved him would mean admitting his life was good, that happiness had truly reached him, and that he could lose it in a heartbeat.
By ignoring his own feelings, he was safe, and so was Shaun.
Nothing bad would happen.
If he let them out, however, everything would change for the best, and for the worst.
Sebastian cried out when his prostate was hit by pleasure. It was still puffy and sensitive, and each time Shaun hit it, his own cock throbbed and leaked. He wanted to ask for permission to stroke it, but he forbade himself from doing so. He didn’t deserve that kind of pleasure; he had to focus on Shaun’s.
That’s the least he could do to make up for being a shitty person.
Why did it have to be so complicated?
The words were simple, and the farm was his home.
Shaun was his.
He was Shaun’s.
He met the thrust with roughness, making sure his hole suffered as much as it could. The cock inside him was relentless in its pursuit of pleasure, and it brushed his walls roughly and pounded into his prostate with such force that there was a continuous flow of precum coming out of his slit.
They were both sweating and panting like beasts in heat, and when Shaun tried to reach for Sebastian cock, Sebastian removed his hand.
“I won’t cum unless I can do it hands-free,” he told him with more authority than anticipated. “Sir, let me try.”
Shaun nodded and put his hands behind his head to let Sebastian ride. His hole sloppily swallowed all the cock he was given; he bounced on it tirelessly, notwithstanding his own discomfort and pain. He grabbed Shaun’s shoulder, pressing their forehead together as his entire body heated up to such a point that he believed he might be feverish.
His balls were painfully tight, and he felt as if he might pee. It was the sensation he felt when close to cumming, but he’d never managed to do it entirely hands-free. There was always a little help.
But not this time.
Shaun looked exhausted, on the brink of passing out as he stared at Sebastian with glazed-over eyes. He was being used, and he accepted it without complaint. So, Sebastian slowed down and took his cock more gently. Going up and down his length with careful, long strokes. The head almost slipped out, but Sebastian held it inside.
Outside the window, a few snowflakes were descending from the turpid sky. They seemed to be falling in slow motion, prompting Sebastian to slow his movements even further.
He hadn’t been aware of how noisy they were being, how badly Shaun arched under him.
“I’m sorry,” Sebastian apologized, dropping his weight on the man he loved.
Though he was still hesitant to say it.
“About what?” Shaun asked, hugging him gently.
“For not being able to say it. I need a little time, it’s just… You know I care about you, right?”
“I do,” Shaun whispered.
Sebastian propped himself back up. “I wanna say it, but I’m scared it’ll… Just forget it.”
He started moving again. This pause caused his hole and prostate to be even more sensitive somehow, and each time Shaun’s cockhead hit him deep, it sent jolts of uncontrollable pleasure throughout his body.
Shaun flipped him over, and Sebastian wrapped his legs around his waist.
The pounding he endured wasn’t rough, but it was firm, and the angle was so perfect that Shaun scored consistently. He had Sebastian squirming in no time, the sound of Shaun’s hefty balls hitting his ass timed like a metronome.
Sebastian was close, but his deep-seated frustration kept him from going over the edge. He leaked loads, his precum turning white in some instances. But no orgasm hit him, and when Shaun released his seed deep inside his hole, he knew it was the end of the road.
There would be no cumming for him.
The cum flowing out of his hole was a reward in itself, and the long, satisfied sigh that rumbled out of Shaun’s throat was the sweetest thing. They remained entangled until their sweat had dried out, until cum stopped pouring out of Sebastian.
The shy kisses and playful pinches were better than sex in a way.
Gestures that signified care beyond sexual gratification, and Sebastian craved them at an unhealthy level.
He was loved, and he wanted to shout his own feelings at the top of his lungs, too.
The only thing he wasn’t ready for was for the world to know about them. Once they’re out there, they’re ripe for the world to take.
His lips quivered; he was terrified it would happen, because the only person who had ever brought him true happiness had been taken from him too soon, too violently. Sebastian hadn’t thought about it until now, because he realized his joys and successes had been insubstantial.
But Shaun wasn’t, and he wasn’t ready to let life have him.
As his thoughts drifted to his grandmother’s closed casket, Sebastian cuddled Shaun until he couldn’t breathe.
“Big boy, I know you’re strong, no need to show off,” Shaun joked, kissing Sebastian’s nose.
“Fuck, sorry,” Sebastian breathed, the room coming back into focus.
“Stop saying that, there’s nothing to be sorry about.”
Shaun rolled over onto the bed, and Sebastian turned his head toward him. Shaun’s dark hair crowned his head beautifully, and his long lashes framed his intense eyes. He didn’t say a thing, only stared at Sebastian with one of his lazy smiles. Then, he reached out with his hand, and Sebastian took it.
His heart skipped a beat, and Sebastian wished they could stay like this forever.
“I’ve got a stupid question.” Sebastian brushed his thumb over Shaun’s rough skin. “Do you want to build a snowman?”
Laughter erupted and filled the room, Shaun hunching over as he laughed. He wiped a single tear and kissed Sebastian languorously.
“Of course, we can build as many as you want.”
The fuzzy feeling that warmed Sebastian’s heart every time Shaun looked at him returned, and nearly replaced his anxiety.
But not quite.
He would tell Shaun he loved him, but now, he knew he had to make it extra special. An idea crept into his mind, and he smiled as it took form.
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