Tea For Two

Did I leave my Magic Egg Masturbator & EdgeMaster on the kitchen table deliberately, or was it simply one of my increasingly dopey acts of forgetfulness that made me wonder if my sixty odd years were finally getting the better of me? Whatever the case, it was a dead cert that Mark, our handyman and generally sweet guy, was going to find it as he settled in for a coffee and chat, having completed the chores that had built up over the last few months.

I’d developed a bit of a school-boy crush on him ever since he’d started helping around the house over a year ago now, filling in the chasm-like gaps in my own general knowledge about such things. 

He was married with school-aged kids and retained his own boyish charm, along with a lived-in handsomeness that I found distinctly attractive. This, coupled with his ability to put his hand to almost any task, made him as close to a superman in my eyes as it’s possible to get.

Not that I had the slightest intention of making a move on him, straight is straight as far as I’m concerned, and married with kids sends a pretty strong message. But I enjoyed my private adoration nonetheless, and any excuse to have him come around and fix something (anything!) was okay by me.

So I was a little surprised when he moved aside a bundle of papers I’d been organising on the table and out rolled the aforementioned device. 

“What’s this?” he asked innocently, picking up the black rubber egg and examining it closely, causing me to almost drop the tray of tea things I was bringing to the table at that exact moment.

Now I don’t know if you’re familiar with these appliances, so a quick description may be in order. It’s egg shaped, about the size of a hand, made of semi-hard rubber and with a penis-sized trough on one side in which to insert one’s penis, naturally. A series of small buttons on the side control vibration and intensity; all in all, hours of good clean fun can be had, alone or with a friend. 

And this is what my handyman was now holding in his hand and examining with forensic interest. 

Hastily regaining my composure I carefully put the tray down on the table and went to take the mysterious object from him, but he would have none of it. Sliding a couple of fingers along the groove (where my cock had reposed only a short while beforehand), he noticed the buttons on the side and pressed one, instantly starting up the small motor at the tip of the egg which proceeded to massage his fingers in a pleasant and telling manner.

The look on his face told me that the jig was up. I blushed scarlet, which simply confirmed his worst (or best) suspicions, and he burst out laughing, making my face glow even redder. 

“This is one up on my fleshlight”, he offered, still chuckling as he slid his fingers in and out of the vibrating egg. It took me a few seconds to recognise the intimate confession he’d just shared with me, and my cock twitched in no uncertain fashion at the realisation. I laughed, plonking myself down on the chair next to his and theatrically wiping my brow.

“Okay I confess, I’m a wanker!” I looked at Mark’s smiling face and he returned the intimacy.

“Me too” he replied, suddenly slightly more serious. “Can I try it?” 

The look on my face must have been priceless, because he burst out laughing again, leaving me unsure as to how to respond.

“Seriously?” I asked, treasuring our friendship too much to have it compromised over a misunderstanding.

He pushed himself up from the table and started unbuckling his belt, leaving me in no doubt as to his seriousness.