On Time

Almost had him, ten more paces….he jumped into a car pausing only to give me the finger. Not tired but really annoyed, I sat down on the curb, curled my arms around my knees and thought. The jerk owed me ten buck, ten bucks I needed.

“Almost had him….you were gaining on him fast.”  A man sat down beside me, offered his hand. “Rocco”.

I looked up, took his hand, “Cooper”.

“Run track in school?”

I grinned at him. “Nope, just getting out of Garrity’s Market with a bag of oranges...among other places.” He laughed.

“You’re the kid who works the street, yeah, some story, your dad was almost put away for a crime he didn’t do….almost nailed him.”

Nothing to say, he was right.

“Heard good things about you….take good care of your dad….kinda don’t have much, or so I hear.”

“Yeah, well, today, ‘much’ sounds like an awful lot, that turkey just flew away with a ten spot he owed me…..”

He reached in his pocked.

“Sorry Sir, really do appreciate it but….I promote my own money. Take it from strangers and you’re owing them….hope you can understand...I really am grateful for the offer.” And he did understand.

“Smart, what you don’t owe, nobody collects….” Had another offer. “Hungry?”

“Not yet, too early, gotta find some dinner, take it home to my dad, he’s a day sleeper….works nights as an auditor...I always try and have something….they give him a meal at the hotel where he works but….aw, sorry to bother you.”

“You’re not, you want him to know you love him so you got food.”

“Yeah only that doesn’t always work out. One day I’m gonna get stuck helping myself.”

He laughed, “Getting good at it?”

“Hate doing it, if they’d let me work, glad to but those are all family stores, their kids take all the jobs.”

“Okay, that just makes you….work….harder….again, you good at...what you do?”

I looked at him. “Got no choice, have to be good or…...” Made the slice symbol across my neck. He laughed, stood up, offered me a hand, got me up beside him.

“You’re a hunk…..but I’m betting you never sell yourself...and that would make money every day….”

Hung my head, “No Sir, not against it, but….I’ve never done anything like that, who cares for an amateur?”

He laughed out loud.

“You are fucking co-rrect on that one and I know some ‘amateurs’ who wonder why two bits is about all they can expect. C’mon, kid, if you won’t take my ten, then at least you can let a buddy take you to the cafe, get you a coffee, maybe a cruller….this time of day, if they have any left, just give ‘em away.”

Free coffee and whatever a cruller was; He had a guest.

Rocco walked like he owned most of the place. As we passed, people spoke to him, made little bows almost, came out, shook his hand, he smiled at their children, stopped to pet a rambunctious dog that was trying to hump his leg….just a nice guy, well liked, from the neighborhood...something I was not.

My dad and I moved here after he was declared innocent in the child molestation action in another place. We’d driven my car, one of the few things we had left, until we lit into this place, found the crumby apartment and, by sheer luck, he got this job. During the day, while he slept, I moved around, seeing if there was any work, anything, hell I didn’t care. For a couple of weeks I’d walked the dog, and cleaned up after it, for some guy’s girlfriend but they broke up. Stood around the loading docks, could sometimes catch a few hours work, but never steady….this was a Union place and that did not include me; Some of the guys were good enough to me  but some…..Unions can be real tough on men working as scabs, beat the shit out of you or…..I was threatened, pull down your pants and fuck you til you bled. Meaning don’t come back.  I took a couple of beatings...just to get the work. Dad saw the bruises, had to look away.

What we both understood was that his job didn’t pay enough for both of us. My finding small jobs and, yeah, stealing food, almost kept everything afloat. Almost. Once, he was really down, he said, “Cooper, get out of here, take the car….you’ll find something then, maybe, you can come back….I got you into this, you’ve been not just a great son but my best friend so….maybe if you went someplace else, someplace where nobody is ever going to find out your dad was accused of fucking little boys….” Word had followed us about the trial; I learned a valuable lesson, being declared innocent of all charges only means that to some people. Back home? There were too many who would tell you flat out, “Hell, Jim got away with it, guilty as sin….look at the way he keeps that kid of his, probably fucks him every night and twice on Sundays…..”

What I didn’t tell him….no way he didn’t know….I  got offers  to do….whatever they had in mind. I knew because I was told what my ass would bring if it were naked, tied up and fucked. I knew because I was told what my mouth would bring if my hands were tied behind my back and I opened wide….then closed on a cock. One of the jerks at the hotel told dad to drop me off some Friday night, just leave me in the lobby….pick me up Sunday….He would have quit but...where was another job? I didn’t confess it but...I knew I had a pretty good body, I wasn’t bad looking….only thing that didn’t work out was...my hair. Only way to get it cut was if dad used the scissors….well, he tried. He just clippered his into a butch cut….Oh, and my dad was good looking….I didn’t have to wonder if he got asked ‘if you’re available’, I knew, he told me. Maybe we both should have just said, “sure, do it and pay me.” Dad had once quietly told me his secrets one of which was that he was a homosexual but had NO taste for little boys. I wondered about me….good looking men, men who were nice to me, men who smiled….I wondered what it would feel like. Every guy jacks off, some stick their finger up their ass….okay, but I kinda thought there was a big difference between a finger and a guy’s cock.

It was nice at the cafe, Rocco seemed to be really well known, everyone was friendly, people came over just to shake his hand, he’d smile.

But then he looked at me.

“You got real nice manners, respectful, that loyalty to your dad, don’t see that much….how’d you like to be my…..kid. Take you with me see you got a few bucks a day, do errands...you said you could drive a car….that’d be helpful. Good looking….yeah, I could use a young man to tag along….nobody around here knows your face….if you want to. Not very interesting, just drop in places, see how things are going, you know, just be around to make sure things run smooth. Think you’d like that?”

“Yeah but….you don’t really need someone just to get in your way...”

“You wouldn’t, I got some businesses, you’ll learn them, save me some time checking on them….like right now.” He waved at some guy who was coming in, the man came over.

“Sid, want you to meet Cooper, he’s with me, he’ll be dropping in so….expect him.”

Sid shook my hand, looked at Rocco…. “Cooper?….look forward to seeing you….Rocco does he know…..?”

He got shut up with a change in his voice. “Sid, he’s with me, figure it out.”

“Sure, Rocco, sure, nice to meet you...Cooper...see you ‘round.”

“See? You got a friend, I’ll take you by his place, easy, you’ll learn….I bet you’re a smart kid, graduate aren’t you.”

I just nodded my head, well, I was, why that mattered…..?

“Always meant to go back and finish, had to go away for a little while...you can teach me what I missed and I’ll teach you what you need to know….Deal?” He smiled.

“Sure, Sir, sure….”

“Rocco, other people call me Sir, you’re my man, you call me Rocco and… maybe it’s a good thing if some of the small fry call you Sir….”

I thought about something, could see the time on his watch.

“Listen, we don’t live in much of a place but….I’d like you to meet my father….I know he’ll like you, being good to me….Rocco.”
“Yeah, well, someday we’ll do that, like to meet your old man, anybody who gets away from the joint without going in is a smart man someone I want to know, might like to know me….”

“Uh, I got a scoot home….”

“You ain’t got no food.”
“No….but then….I don’t always….just like to have a little time with him…”

“Hey, Lou,  bundle up some grub, put some meat in it, got to keep Cooper healthy.”

Shortly a man came over with some white containers, the sort I saw people taking from Chinese places….
“Lou, Cooper ….” He gave him an odd look. “He’s with me….he comes in, introduce him around, make sure he gets known.” Lou just nodded.

Something was heavy on my mind.

“Sir, I don’t have any money to pay for this…..”  

The man smiled….sort of…. “Well, your Rocco’s…..buddy.”

I didn’t know what that quite meant but was awfully grateful to have this good food to take home to dad who was, gotta say, really surprised. But by now, he didn’t ask questions….guess he sometimes felt he was sorta responsible for...what I did. Never accused me, never called me down for...thieving….just didn’t look at the sacks or bags or what I tool out of my pockets. Dad was great about giving me hugs….kinda his way of saying...it’s all right.

The next day I went back to the cafe, early, found the rear entrance where the cleaning supplies were, got them, first did the toilets then moved into the main area. I was about halfway done when Lou came in….
“Cooper, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Well, Sir, after all that food, last us two days at least, I owed you something so cleaned the toilets, gonna do the floors and whatever else….”

He grabbed me, pulled me away from the bucket sat me at a table, looked almost frightened. “Did Rocco send you?”

“No, ‘course not, you were swell to me when, guess you couldn’t know it, but you’re owed some…..”

“No, oh holy shit, no. Rocco finds out you did this? Do you understand? You’re Rocco’s kid….his man, you don’t have to pay me…..”

“But...I”

“Get out, get out before he finds out and, please, for the love of God, do NOT tell him you were here, did this…...Please.”

I found myself out on the street, confused. What I wanted to find, or who, was Rocco, he knew how I operated, how, yeah, I stole what we needed but….I didn’t accept anything from him so  when Lou gave us all that food….he had to be paid back….or at least made to understand how much it had meant. Probably I didn’t want to explain to him how often my father and I were kinda close to starvation but...we’d always made it…..walked down the street puzzled.

I stopped in front of a smoke shop and was surprised to have the guy I knew owned it come out. I didn’t smoke so….

He said his name was Weiner, knew I was Rocco’s kid, anytime I was around, needed anything, use the phone, take a leak, come on in, always glad to see a friend of Rocco. He let me confused standing on the pavement, more anxious to find Rocco….but he’d not told me how. Where he lived, a number, just that he’d find me…..

Some people have the ability to just….appear. I was looking in a window when there were two reflections, Rocco was the other one.

“How they hangin’ kid? Eat yet? C’mon, my day doesn’t start ‘til I mainline java.”

I looked a little puzzled, he just laughed. “Lets go get some coffee.”

We swung into a Starbucks, two or three of the guys waved at him, one held up two cups seemed to be asking if that’s what he wanted. He made the okay sign, found a table. The coffee was there almost before our asses could get comfortable.

“Hey,  Duke...”

The man paused, came over.

“This is Cooper, he’s with me…..he comes in….nice guy, always give you back your silverware, won’t lift anything you don’t give him. Got it?”

He laughed. “Sure, Rocco.” The guy stuck out his hand, “Duke, you need it? You want it? We got it? You got it…..Guess you’ll be the one who….”

Rocco shut him down. “Yeah, he’ll be the one just….shut your mouth on that, got me?”

Duke backed off a pace or two. “Sure, Rocco, fine looking kid….you’ll get him...” Again, Rocco gave him a look, conversation stopped, Duke went away….quickly.

“Mouthy sonofabitch, don’t talk to him, just tell him what to do….nice guy but has a tongue that flops too much…..he may lose that if he ain’t careful.” Then he laughed. “Hey, Cooper, you know how it is with secrets, Duke just hears too many, fucker can’t decide which he really knows, which he shouldn’t know.” He paused, drank about half a cup, held it in the air, got a refill almost before he could set it back on the table. I noticed Duke didn’t bring it.
“Hey, buddy, gotta put my nose in your business….that piece of iron around your wrist, that’s no Timex...what’s the story?”

I’d worn the pair of hand cuffs, on one wrist, that I did now and then, always slept in them. Told him about visiting my Dad in jail, how his hands were cuffed to the table so he couldn’t touch me,,,,guess they were afraid he’d try and jump his own kid….anyway, I wore those cuffs just to remind me how much I loved him, what he went through….looked down, said if they bothered him, well, I was his kid, I’d leave them off.  

He took my chin in his hand, looked me square in the eye. “I want to see those on you everyday, don’t tell anyone else the tale, make ‘em wonder...an’ they will. People will think….some  kind of whatever shit an they’ll all be wrong.” He laughed. “You make me think I picked right in you more each time I see you. Man, cuffed to himself…..” He finished another cup of coffee, noticed I hadn’t touched mine. Looked at the full cup, looked at me…. “No good? Hey, get you another cup…..”

I had to explain to him that coffee….was expensive, too expensive. Dad got his at work,  I just didn’t drink the stuff, never had.

Rocco almost laughed, “So you’re my milk  boy…..” but stopped, guess he realized milk cost money.

“Whatever’s in a bottle you can...get your hands on, right?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

He had a funny smile. “You know where to fist slam the pop machines to make them drop a can….”

Yeah, I did but…

“Good to know…. Cooper, by the end of this day I bet I’m gonna be surprised at what you know how to do.” I don’t know how he did it but drank another cup straight down.

“Got an idea…..Hey, Duke, fix Cooper up with one of them mostly milk drinks...when he comes in, that’s what you serve him….and Duke…..YOU serve him. Got me?” No response but…..guess there didn’t need to be.    

It was...nice sitting with Rocco, he was easy going, told me stories, my having been on the street a lot, that were funny. Mentioned places around here I knew of and, after he talked a bit, I knew a lot more about them. One thing, like this morning, I’d been looking for him but….where to look.

He laughed, he did that a lot, said he was a fool, we’d step on over to Numbers, get that all set up, his kid had to be able to get to him...and vice versa. He’d have errands for me, no sense in finding me just to tell me to walk across the street.

We stood up, waved at Duke, walked out. It hit me that….Rocco didn’t pay and the places we went, didn’t expect him to.

It was a good day for a walk...when I knew I could at least go home with something for dad, made it pleasant just to look in windows, listen to Rocco, have a buddy. Guess I kinda realized that after the bases and Uncle Zach and school, I was alone, just Dad and me….not that I wanted to just shoot hoops or whatever, but someone to tell something….a buddy….like Rocco.

I smiled at him, he got an odd look but smiled back, put his arm over my shoulder. “You got a good built on you….gotta make sure you keep that up, there’s a gym a block or two over, take you there, one of the guys….teaches how to be on the street. Doesn’t hurt how to know, learn some new tricks.”

That made no sense but before I could ask, we turned into a sort of alcove in a building with a flight of stairs. At the top, two doors, one on either side of the landing. Rocco pushed two bells at once, some buzzer sounded, we walked in.

Inside looked like a clock repair shop. All sorts of clocks, watches, timers, anything associated with time.

“That you, Rocks? I’ll be right out, just finished shaving.”

“We got all day….need you to meet a man you’ll want to know.”

It was impossible not to look at all the various things. Rocco picked up a couple of watches, laughed… “Damn shame those cuffs can’t have something that tells time set in them….” Then realized what he’d said. “Sorry Cooper, didn’t mean it that way, they stay just like that. Only thing is one day…..” then he stopped.

Whoever lived there padded in, stark naked, but clearly just shaved. Everywhere. Also his cock and balls were….big. I’d go for huge but that took away a category that another man might fill. I’d seen guys in gyms who were ‘well equipped’ but, in comparison, they were only slightly hung. Very slightly. All this didn’t seem to matter to Rocco.

“Times, want you to meet a special man, least he’s coming to be that. This is Cooper, my kid.” The man stuck out his hand...or there was a hand at the end of the tattoos.

“Cooper?, Times, good to meet Rocco’s new...”

“No. He’s my kid, gonna work the street, be with me, teaching him the business….he’s not…..”

“Sorry, he’s a stud so I just figured…..”

The subject changed. Most of Time had ink on him, all of it relevant to clocks or hands on clocks….each breast was done like a grandfather clock, the pendulum was his cock. Easy to see why he was called ‘Time’. Friendly, good smile, he reached behind a counter, found some shorts….only thing was….the clocks lost their pendulum. Didn’t see what his balls were although I noticed they were sort of gold….

“What’s up? You want me to put your mark on him?”

“No, not yet...” I had a feeling I knew what that meant and was grateful for the ‘not yet’.

“Need some talkers, can’t have him wandering around looking for me...what’s new, small, long range….”

Time thought about that. “You want something that’s only between the two of you so, like if you’re doing a job, no one listens in or more like the junk everyone has that tells you how to turn a corner, bake a cake and fuck your mother.” We both laughed, I saw the sort he meant, nothing gave me as many laughs as when some doofus with a phone stuck in his ear walked into a sign or fell off the curb but, my all time favorite, some jerk couldn’t look ahead, walked into a pond, scared the shit out of a bunch of Swans who, promptly, took after him. And people think Swans are just nice, big birds...wait ‘til one of them chases you down the road...those beaks hurt.

“You’re making me think, man, you’re making me think. See, Cooper is mine only, don’t need to speak to anyone else but….hell, he’s like all of us, needs to look up the number of the whore house….” We all laughed again. “Maybe...two? Show me what you’re thinking.”

He pulled out a drawer, looked at Rocco, then took out a very small box. Pushed it toward him on the glass counter top. “Take a look.”

Inside were two gray pencil like things, shorter than that, slimmer, no tips, one end had two buttons.

Time made a sales pitch few could have thought about. “Want to hide ‘em, shove them up your dick.”

“Just me and Cooper?”

“If that’s how you want ‘em set….only thing….range isn’t great, have to hijack using one of the towers so...every so often, need to bring them back so they can’t be traced for pinging on any one relay too often.”

Rocco undid his pants. “You’re shitting me, up my cock?”

“Want some lube?”

Time care around, reached in, pulled out Rocco’s tool then within seconds...one of the gray pieces was….gone.

“Holy Shit….yeah, but how do you keep it in?”

Time kinda smirked, “I think they still sell Band-Aids, not everything is that high tech. Sides, you’d only use that feature in a ….situation.”

“Whaddya think kid? Shove it up your dong if you had to?”

“Hey, I once hid a pineapple down my shorts….”

They hooted with laughter.

“Oh yeah, Rocco, you got the right one to run with, pineapple in his drawers...hope you was wearing a hockey cup...”

Time was different but...I liked him. He was the first man who hadn’t really bowed down to Rocco, also Rocco treated him with respect. “Kid, this is where you come if you’re running, you saw how to use the two buzzers, Time will take care of you.”

I kinda thought I knew why I might be running, every minute with Rocco, every thing we did, every place we went but….what I was already to do was sort of like what I guessed he’d want me to do. I needed to prove something.

“Hey, mind if I try and shove that thing….unless you got a pineapple.’ They laughed but it was serious laughter. Time carefully took out my dick-commenting that if my pants got any more ragged, wouldn’t have to undo them to get to my junk-which shamed me. Rocco saw that.’

“Who you gonna notice? Him or some duded up street rat high on himself ‘n maybe just high. I can trust Cooper, wouldn’t you? Who gives a fuck what he looks like….he’s a fine  looking guy with a good build….so if his pants are torn, well, I can find him a pair  if that’ll make you happy.”

“Listen, Cooper, didn’t mean it, just...well...like he said, you’re a good looking guy, shame to have you walking around looking poor.”

I said it quietly. “I am poor. Rocco maybe knows but...I steal food for my dad and me. We live in a dump, I’m a thief I guess….” Stopped, that was all I had to say.

“Happy? You just didn’t need to say that….I’ll take those two dick things and pull out two others like everybody wanders around with...just make damn sure they’re not hot.”

“Listen, Rocco, kid I didn’t mean….”

Rocco punched him hard. “Do what I told you to do, get those gadgets out….if he shows up, make sure he’s safe. You got any further comments about his pants, how about if I took them off, tied them around your neck?Tight. That work for you? Now, show us how these things work and shut up about anything else.” Just to make his point he punched Time in the nuts….He bent double but didn’t say anything.

On the street Rocco was still calming down. “Listen, I know my pants are worn out, don’t matter, I wear them everyday….they cover what needs to be covered….Rocco, come on, you’re my buddy and I appreciate your standing for me  but….:”

“We’re gonna get you a new pair of pants right now.”

Rocco learned something from me. First place we went, nice shop, mens’ clothes but I pulled him out, took him to the Good Will. He seemed stunned.

“Listen, you don’t work the street like I do, maybe you did but you don’t now. What I need are pants, just pants, pants nobody notices….nice if they’ve got sturdy pockets, I like those cargo ones too….never know when I might I have something to put in them.” I got a smile from him.

“Okay, kid, see your point, you pick out what you want ‘n maybe get two….those cargos you talked about.”

We bought a little more than that. The pants, some T shirts, one shirt that was too big but had lots of pockets….even found a pair of sneakers, almost brand new, got all the tread. Picked them up, said to him, “I could run track….or anything else in these.” He smiled, paid for all of it. As we were walking out he looked down, “Damn, you need socks.” Back in, found some that were new, still bundled, six pair. Gotta say, they felt good.

“There’s something I can do for you, name it...you’ve done a whole lot for me.”

We came to a small park between two buildings, the sort some ‘Neighborhood Improvement Association’ put in only to find it was used by drunks, druggies, winos whoever wanted a place just off the street to sleep at night. Not much improvement.

“Yeah, there is something, back at Time’s he almost said too much…..Cooper...there’s something I like to do….”

He stopped speaking. I knew a story and this was the moment to tell it. Was about how my Dad once came into my room, told me all his secrets, one of them being he liked to sleep with men but, he was very clear, remembering the trial, NOT with little boys. That’s what I told him and when I was finished, we just sat there. He put an arm around my shoulder, pulled me to him.

“I’m kinda like your dad….only….there’s things I want to do to them, tie them up, spank them, fuck them hard, make them….scream….”

Right then I knew what to say. “ You’re my buddy, my friend, I don’t know what I can do to help you get what you want but…..I been beaten when I got caught….”

“He threw himself around me. “No Cooper, not you….but you’re gonna help me get ...come on, we’re going back to Time’s place, you need to open the other door.”

This time there was a sequential lock, the sort where you press one or two, wait then press a third. Easy to memorize it, basically it was just One, Two….Three, bingo, the lock clicked off, Rocco opened the door, pushed me in.

We were in a very dark room, only seemed to be shadows of...objects. “Okay, look.” He snapped on a great many lights.

Although I did not understand everything I saw, how to use them, how to put a man in or on them, it was obvious that these were the things he used to do what he said he liked to do….to hurt men. Some of the things had stains that could only be blood, others seemed to be made in such a way that they folded, or bent or moved. At the end of the place was a metal cross, maybe eight feet high. From the cross members, and down the sides were rings, hooks, snaps or open metal cuffs just hanging.

“Go stand on the bottom, face out, lean against it.” I did. He walked toward me, around me, I felt a solid metal collar circle my throat. “Cooper, I’m going to show you how this works, just let me do it, you’re okay but I want you to feel what it’s like….at first...before I begin to work over some...”

Finally I was completely secured to the frame. No idea how many cuffs, manacles, leather restraints, rope...but I was there for as long as whoever wanted me to be there.

“One more thing. Jesus you’re handsome just like that, even with all your clothes on...” He flipped some switches until the only lights on the room were intense and played on me.

There was a long period, I thought I could hear him walking about, once he was behind me, put his arms around, groped my crotch, held it for some while...just never hurt it. I got hard.

“Cooper….will you do something for me?”

“Sure, I’m your kid, that’s what I do, whatever you want me to.” For some dumb reason I was not scared even though as he’d passed through the light I could see he’d removed his coat, tie and shirt-saw some sort of design on his belly. He started to undo all the things that held me-took some little while.

“I want to see what you look like naked, bound to my cross.”

I said nothing just started to undress carefully folding my clothes on the floor. After I finished, I walked back to the cross, stood against it, put my arms out, leaned back.

“Rocco, okay, put me on your cross.”

“ Any way I want?”

“Your cross, I’m your kid, whatever you want.”

He took some time, I could hear him opening a drawer or two, seemed to be looking for whatever he was looking for. One thing I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to find was...heat. Guess it didn’t matter or the situation was getting to me. My balls had pulled up, my cock was hard….my breathing was heavier. Maybe this was what I wanted, I thought of my Dad, would he want to see me like this? Would he put me on a cross...and then what would he or Rocco do?

“Are you frightened?”

“Little, but it’s you….” and why I said it…. “I’m your kid, your my Rocco...fair deal or sounds like that to me. Fuck, I wanta find out what you’ll do so I can help you better. Right?”

“Yeah….right, fucking perfectly right. Just exactly right. You ain’t been on that cross? no way you can ever tell someone about it, no way you can say you’ve been tied to it, no way you can say you knew the pain that might come, no way you could explain how your dick got hard while you wondered what happens….Yeah, fucking perfect right.”

“Rocco, do it, whatever it is, you gotta do it….” I said it as quietly as I could. “I’m your kid….I’m here cuz you want me to be here….so….I’m your kid, do it to me.”

He fumbled with my cock, held a metal thing in front of my face.

“Putting you in chastity….” It was tight, suppressed my dong until I almost didn’t have one. Somehow he got my balls to come down, got a ring around the sack, some sort of thing that divided them, squeezed it down.

“Hurts, doesn’t it.”

I just nodded.

The next hour was spent meticulously attaching me to the cross. No way of telling how many things he used, how many feet of rope but the final thing…..he tossed a line over a rafter so that in front of my face there was a hangman’s noose. From behind, he put it over my head, around my neck, moved away found the end, started to pull...I almost needed to stand on my toes….was close to passing out.

Blasts of light. Here, there, up, down, close, far….some of them hot….He gave the rope another tug, I was gagging….almost swaying….and then it all stopped.

The noose went slack, he came to me, loosened it, pulled it over my head, held me in his arms, cried, his tears went down my nipples.

“Nobody else, nobody ever….you trusted me….you trusted me….”

With what little voice I could get…. “Rocco, I’m your kid, I’m suppose to trust you. That simple.” He held onto my body, I could feel him spasm as he wept….and I knew something.

“Did you miss any pictures? Get it all? The movement, my toes trying to stand, my body….”

He suddenly looked up at me. “You knew?”

“’Course, change sides, I’d take pictures too, guess when you get a boring moment, just take out that camera and….there’s your own jerk off material exactly how you want it.

Told you I wanted to do something for you….always will...see you’re my Rocco, I’m your kid….”

Carefully and with great delicacy he removed every single thing that bound me to his cross. At the very end he held my body knowing the just released from stress wouldn’t allow me to stand...yet so as he took me down, he just held me. Kissed me. Fiddled with one hand took the thing off my cock and balls.

“I guess you noticed I got horny...now that it’s free….I’m gonna cum…..”

He knelt down, held my stiff piece of meat then put out his tongue to catch the silvery white fluid that I gave him.

There was a shower… he got it warm, got me in it, got in with me, washed me, held me, kissed my body, licked my cock over and over…..never took it in his mouth, just...licked it. I held him back, stroked his thick black hair, put his head on my chest, whispered that I was his kid….if he ever got desperate….all he needed to do was bring me here...He could do it to me, whatever….. I knew something somehow, people who have Rocco’s desire panic if they can’t find someone but...knowing there was always a body he could have, do whatever….He knew I meant it.

“I want to sleep beside you tonight….”

“Can’t, I’m cuffed to another man, always sleep with him….sorry.”

He smiled. “Don’t be...nobody gets everything they want for Christmas.”

He closed the door behind us, we went down the stairs, it was almost dark. “You need to get home….get you some food….send you off….Cooper, you’re not my kid, you’re my man.”

I smiled at him, reached out, shook his hand. “Ya know, Rocco, I think I’d rather be your kid….Sir.”

I  did not tell my father about the day other than to say it had been long and more involving than I’d thought….but this was a learning curve.

In bed that night I felt particularly close to him for now I knew the fuller parts of some of his secrets. Some day, I hoped, I wanted him to see the metal cross with me naked and on it. Some day I thought that might resolve in his mind how much I understood about his secrets and how I could easily accept them. Some day….but just then I only got closer to him being careful not to clonk him with my cuffs.

Next day the weather had turned off nasty. Good thing we could call back and forth, he told me to meet him at Duke’s. Okay, I can do that. Also, just as ordered, Duke, himself, served me that milky thing along with a plate of really fine pastry, stood there, wondered if I wanted anything, just...let him know. As I thought Rocco would have done, I didn’t even look at him, he just went away.

“Witch’s tit out there, kid….” His coffee almost came through the door with him. No point in saying anything until that cup then another were empty and in him. Looked at me, smiled. “Gonna run some errands today, take you to the gym, show you some papers, where they’re kept.”

He laughed, “You got a Band Aid on your cock this a.m?”

I’d picked up that sometimes he really wanted an answer, just put it in a way to see if whoever he was talking to was listening, picking up the clues.

I reached in my pants pocket, took it out, palmed it, put it back. He winked at me.

“C’mon, we gotta hit the road, see what’s shaking, who needs shaking up….” He stood up, pulled on his coat, I started to zip my wind breaker.

“Ain’t you got a warm coat or something?”

I wasn’t ashamed, as with a lot of stuff, I just didn’t have one. If it was cold or hot or rainy...then that’s what it was. Deal with it.

He shook his head, almost smiled…. “Okay, back to Good Will….you got boots?”

He knew the answer.

“Those you get new...steel toed….always wear ‘em...those sneakers are fine for running, you want to join the marathon, wear ‘em, but I want steel boots on your feet just like that steel around your wrist. Got me?”

The gym wasn’t quite what I’d thought. Small, almost as if two rooms were shoved together, just missing a wall. Also, as at Time’s place, you didn’t just walk in, there was a buzzer, a voice said, “Yeah, Whaddya Want?”

“Rocco.”

It was opened very quickly. “Why didn’t ya say so?”

“You want me to yell through a door? Jeez.” We were inside. The man looked about...45, maybe a bit older. The sort of body that is in almost too good shape, if he wasn’t a body builder, then…?”

“Brought you a student….my kid….” He looked right at him telling him things that didn’t need to be said.

“Gonna keep him on the street? Looks like that’s where he’d be really good.”

“He once shoved a pineapple down his shorts…..” They smiled at each other.

“Yep, he’s good….wanta leave him here with me? I know what he needs. Anything you want added?”

Rocco thought.

“Know how to shoot?”

Well, I did. Part of living on the Air Force Bases with my uncle had included some small arms training. Also, he was big on bird shooting so I’d been out with him for quail, pheasant, using a shotgun...he’d also had me handle a rifle…..but I was really good with a hand gun, if I’d been in the service, I would have got some sort of rating for that….told Rocco and this man.

“I guess that solves that….you gonna have him carry a piece or a knife?”

“Sir, look, I hate to be rude but….my name’s Cooper…” stuck out my hand.

Rocco laughed. “Forgot to tell you about his manners. He’d call someone Sir just before he stuck them between the ribs….This is Jerry, best street fighter around, knows how to do it…..taught me….he’s gonna make you one mutherfuckin’ fighting machine.” He yelled at me.

“Drop into a squat.”

Jerry walked around me. “Oh, yeah, I can do a lot with him….see, the hands went up, almost in a defensive mode….that’s natural….you can teach it but if it’s instinct...he’s way ahead of the game.” I stood up.

“Peel.”

I was getting used to taking off my clothes.

Jerry came toward me, started as if it was the usual police frisk but he was feeling muscle, density, trying to decide how agile I might be. “Okay, kid, put ‘em back on.”

He looked at Rocco. “You got a prime one here….I can take him as far as you want him to go...right up to takin’ em out.”

“Strikes me as about far enough…..if I can’t get around dropping someone, he can.”

“He’s gonna need some things, got a knife for him? I got one I’d like to teach him to use, where to put it….”

“Wrestle?”

“He done any street fighting? Just thought….Rocco, tell me he’s not part of a gang now...”

Rocco smiled. “Yeah, Rocco’s gang….that help?”

“You need him now or can I work with him?”

“Start him today….maybe...an hour or two each morning….’til you take him out, see how he does, train him there. Make sure he’s a climber….”

“Those long arms, good biceps, triceps, little work in agility, make a fucking monkey out of him.”

Rocco looked at me. “Okay, one thing….you gotta promise you’ll show up, do what you’re told….like school, fuck up and get a walloping.” He looked at Jerry. “Today or….?”

“He’s here...”

Rocco popped me on the ass. “Learn good...meet me at Lou’s in a coupla hours.”

Jerry was a tough teacher….but he had a subject not many taught. In high school I’d read “Oliver Twist” in which Fagan ran what amounted to a school for young boys to be pickpockets, small time thieves. What Jerry was teaching would have made Fagan shudder: I found all of it interesting, important and...I was thankful to Rocco for introducing me to this…..occupation.

I was already a crook at some level, had almost no fear of being caught because...as Jerry pointed out, I looked like this nice guy, little down on his luck, but in no way any kind of criminal. As he said, I wasn’t panhandling, I was looking for work. He started by working me out, learning to be almost a gymnast, the ‘monkey’ Rocco had mentioned.

Using the knife was fairly easy, his instruction was not to use it to do damage but to threaten; Once you stuck some one you’d graduated into Felonies….maybe long sentences in jail or prison; He pointed out, based on personal experience, if you had to do time, you wanted to do it in state of federal; jails were hell holes. I learned quickly how to hold it, how to get it out, where to put it on your body to make it easy to retrieve and….how to gauge whether you needed a knife or a gun. If the latter, make sure the deal was big time, worth the risk.

He was against my wearing my cuffs all the time; I told him about dad, being cuffed to a table….after he thought about it, laughed and said it was one of those true stories that gives you not only street cred but sympathy.

A few days after I’d started with Jerry, Rocco took me to a couple of places that I would be ‘visiting’ on a routine basis. Sometimes it was just a friendly call, sometimes I picked up a bag and sometimes….it got a little rough when there was no bag. Jerry made up a sort of first aid kit that I could slip in my cargoes, also taught me how to quickly get blood off me. One thing he stressed, since I probably wouldn’t be wearing gloves, make sure to keep my nails cut short and, after I’d had to do some ‘work’ that I get all the blood out from under even short nails; Cops always check your nails…. 

Rocco was happy, even pleased at my progress to the point he took me out with a trucker, called Sammy, for an overnight job. It was a set up so all I was along for was the learning experience. We hijacked a truck delivering liquor from a warehouse although how much hijacking….when we found the place, the driver was standing outside, smoking a cigar.

“Anyone need to punch me for the looks?”

“You were pushed off the road by a truck, a gun was stuck in your face, everyone wore masks, drove away leaving you here.”

“Fine, I hate having to get hit….broke a tooth one time.”

That got a little too smart ass for Rocco who paused, turned, looked at the jerk, then looked a me… “Put one in his butt.” I was using a Glock, lifted from a cop, so this was easy. Guess he’ll take the punches in the future.

Next day at Lou’s he told me I’d done real well, didn’t flinch when I shot….maybe there was another job where ‘Cool Hand Luke’ as he laughing said, could go up a notch.

I talked to Jerry who refitted my shoulder holster for quicker access. It was Summer and keeping it under a T shirt was tricky... made that side of me sweat. That night Rocco took me to an apartment building, seems one of the residents said some things, didn’t do what he was supposed to, had been told so….time for a visit. Shot the guy in the thigh as well as grazed his skull. Outside on our way down in the elevator, said to Rocco, I’d been tempted to take off the tip of his nose; Jerry had taught me that it bled a lot but, apart from maybe needing some cosmetic surgery, no big deal. He said, while he laughed, anytime I wanted to do that, kinda make it my signature….the nose job.

Most days I just had a routine, drop ins, pick ups, meet guys do a hand to hand...but no drugs. He was specific that getting into that also got you into big time trouble fast. Better to keep it where we were, the occasional real money maker, enjoy life, be safe.

By now Dad knew exactly what I was doing and with whom. He’d met Rocco, surprisingly they liked each other, the two of them went to some ball games, talked….it finally hit me that Rocco never mentioned family so maybe he kinda saw my dad as sort of his dad. Sorta made him my older brother. Okay by me. His three years in jail changed my father, made him….meaner. Not the unkind sort, but just hard. I was scared shitless the first time he knew I’d done some shooting but all he did was….make sure I knew how to clean the gun. We had food, heat, shelter but Rocco said, sure it was an awful place to live but…..it was like camouflage for me….no one lived like that if they were making it elsewhere. I still slept with Dad, in bed he’d asked me about the jobs I’d done….told me to do just what Rocco said….

One day I was doing nothing much, went home for no reason. Jerry had taught me to go into any place, even my own home, quietly which is how I got in to the point I could see into the bedroom…..where Dad and Rocco were...not doing anything, just holding each other….what they had done or would do, none of my business….as I walked away I realized I was…..a little jealous. I didn’t want either of them to take me, make love or have sex with me but….I did want to know they would do it….if…..

I wondered about the relationship between the two. I wondered if just maybe….Dad would like to go visit the room opposite Time’s place. No way to bring it up but I did wonder.

My whistle, as I called the little thing only Rocco could call me on, went off. Told me to go to some place I’d never been, ask for ‘Jimmy’ then bring him with me to the room across from Time’s place. Easy. Jimmy was just some guy, maybe 40’s, once had a good build….nothing much. Rocco had told me to make sure he understood I wasn’t just somebody who gave directions, let him see what I was had under my shoulder, then stay slightly behind him, he wanted guaranteed delivery. Also easy.

I knew the code, but also knew to tap, wait and then get the door open. The other part of my instructions were to stay behind him, push him in and get him on the floor. Okay, Jerry taught me a simple maneuver for that.

Rocco was leaning against one of the things that I guess he used for sex, never seen it that way but everything in there was for that so...safe assumption.

Looked at me, half smile, “Kid, you had your workout today? Want one? Beat the shit out of this piece of crap on the floor.”

“Lights out?”

“Fuck, just soften him for me….” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the cross.

“Sir, put your piece on his neck…...gotta strip….blood.”

He was easy, also frightened so that just made what I needed to do….and, figured it out as I kicked in his gut, worked him across the floor to the base of the cross….figured he was gonna do all seven stations of the cross plus some never mentioned.

Rocco took his head, twisted it up; He still had most of his teeth. “Got turned on…..”

No point in answering, my cock was acting like a laser looking for incoming.

“Want him to suck you off?”

“Thanks, I brought my own hand….some of those ragged edges….want some help?”

“Forgot, you volunteered.” He picked up a box attached to a heavy cable, one push of a button and a sling came down.”

“Get it around him.”

“Neck or….”

Rocco laughed. “Chest….Jerry give you the knot tying class for your boy scout merit badge?”

“Right after shivs but before going through a window sideways. Under his arms or…?”

“See if we can start him under his tits, it’ll ride up, this is metal…so….” I knew ‘so’ meant that it was almost like having your skin cleaned with a rasp.

“Hold it…..Cooper, get him up on all fours, warm his ass….there’s some things you can use hanging on the wall.”

Just out of personal preference, and, as Jerry had taught me, you usually had one, a good sturdy belt, doubled, did a good job for spanking, paddling, really getting asses red, prepared for what always came next, always.

No point in bothering to hold on to him, he was going no where ‘cept where we put him.

“You never seen me fuck a guy….”

“No sir.”

Well ten minutes later I had. It was also the first time I’d seen Rocco completely naked….he had a career in porn if he chose to give it a shot. Good build, really good build, great pecs, hard, pointed nips, slim fast and his balls redefined ‘low hangers’, cock almost couldn’t cover them.

I realized something I had known; I was deeply attracted to him….not just sex, that too, but to the person. I feared love….but….on a couple of occasions, we’d found ourselves what some might call ‘making out’, feeling each other up….only when he’d accidentally touch my cuffs did he suddenly halt, pull away. We said nothing but...I was hanging my head because I’d wanted…..something….he had too.

He was sweating, stood there drooling his cum, stuck his finger in it, looked at me, I knew what he meant and what he wanted.

We each had a finger covered after which...he took me by my neck, kissed me hard, reached down, squeezed my balls….I could hear him whisper… “You know I want you to be more than my kid…..”

I nodded, ran my cuffed wrist along the side of his face.

There was the sense of a smile. “Yeah, your dad….first in line.” We separated a bit. “Jim knows how lucky a man he is….C’mon, lets get this dummy in the window.” Easy.

“Go shower an’ get out….no blood, no witnesses.” This time when he kissed me, it was like a man kissing a man. I liked it, wanted it, by then Rocco and I were very close.

Increasingly I got into the physical part of Rocco’s various businesses; I was certain what he was going to want me to do as he dropped by while I was at Jerry’s, admired my strong body then told Jerry that I needed to be ‘toughened up’, able to take it...Jerry just said, “Sure thing, Rocco, I can guarantee he can and will take it ….and really give it out.” Rocco ran his hand over my naked abdomen, looked into my eyes, smiled, then left.

Jerry started to say something…. “He wants you for….”.

“Drop it, just toughen me up….”.

“Okay” then punched me so that I went over backwards.

“Aren’t tough enough yet, are you.” He extended his hand, pulled me up then started to knee me in the balls. Caught him, put him down. “Yeah, well I got tough nuts, remember? You taught me the hard squeeze?”

He just grinned.

Lou made the mistake of asking me if we wore matching jocks, His and His. I popped him where, unfortunately, he wasn’t wearing one, would have been better if he’d had a hockey cup. As he was just bending up. Rocco strolled in, wondered….what the hell…

“Lou thinks you and I should wear matching jocks….”

The upper cut straightened him up but took him over backward. “Ya know kid, I hear the food here isn’t what it used to be….maybe they should get a new change of management….” Neither of us kicked him as we walked out.

For a few days I went out with Sammy on some road trips, mainly to pick up merchandise that had been ‘left’ in unusual places. Usually electronic crap, the sort that packed the shops that sold cheap phones, tablets, games…..nothing I’d ever wanted. Wasn’t hard work, just boring for both of us. Because we couldn’t leave the truck, meant we had to use the sleeper for overnight. Okay, I was a little new to that. Sleeping with my Dad had made sleeping with a man much easier but….the sleeper in a tractor is no double bed. One thing, it was well heated plus had all sorts of things to watch, videos, movies, whatever. Sammy was told that….he could ‘play’ with me, sort of, but the name Rocco hung over him. Didn’t matter. He had some really funny videos as well as some of the raunchiest porn shit I’d ever seen. While I watched one, he watched me, trying to gauge my reaction. Had his hand on my balls, just easily rolling them, felt good. On an impulse I tweaked his tit, got him very hard, then just to fuck around with him, sucked on his nipple….I’d found one of his sensitive spots.

“You little shit.” But he smiled when he said it. “Know what I’m gonna do?”

Not until he did it…..jacked me off then the fucker kept right on, I got edged a good three times. Hope he didn’t mind his bunk sweaty….

Later, just before sleep was the only thing left to do, he said he really liked me, hoped I hadn’t been pissed off at what he did. To show there were no hard feelings, just feeling hard, I reached down and got him to shoot….

We both slept very soundly.

Leaning against a wall watching something we didn’t understand going on across the street , Rocco said Sammy told him I was a good companion, liked having me….any chance I could go on longer runs? He’d been told….get back to him when the run he had in mind came up. At that point we saw what we were looking for, one of our ‘patrons’ was dealing with someone else which….didn’t fly. Nothing to do then but, later that week, Rocco had me drop in, mention what we’d seen, wondered what the situation was. No answer other than to tell me if Rocco had questions, Rocco could drop by. It wasn’t the kind of message he should have sent. Later that week he found how successfully Jerry was toughening me up.

On night Rocco had me figure out what times, movements in a place  were, which I did; It was easy to do as this place was about two shops down from our second floor apartment so whatever went on, I could see.

Didn’t seem like a big deal, really didn’t. What Rocco told me was that night he was going to ‘drop by’, see what was what. I offered to tag along, he said he didn’t want me to lose time sleeping with my Dad.

Around midnight I got up to get a glass of water. In our neighborhood, if there was one sound everyone knew, it was gun fire so when I heard it, I looked out the window.

What I saw was Rocco staggering into the street, shot. Naked I ran downstairs into the street, got to him….he was still living. His breathing was heavy, getting very difficult but he recognized me. I put my hand under his head, kissed him.

“In...my pocket….take it….my pants get ..I knew you’d come...get it all….Cooper…Cooper...I love…..” Put my body over his but knew I couldn’t stay like that. Did what he told me to, got his gun, wallet, keys, then ran back upstairs. Fast as I could, hit the shower, got as clean as possible, got some shorts, T shirt...crawled into bed, held Dad, woke him, told him. He put his arms around him, kissed me, told me to just relax, we’d handle it…..

Hour or so later the cops showed up not surprising looking for Rocco’s kid. Dad answered, got me out of bed….I did the thing of trying to not break down but….couldn’t tell them anything. I was ‘invited’ downtown, got dressed, went with them. I was stripped, hands checked for...whatever but, of course, there was nothing. Ultimately, they sent me home.

In the morning, I went to see Jerry, Time, a few others. Dad said….I needed to get out of town also that he knew I’d loved Rocco plus some very direct advice.

“Cooper, you need to get yourself fucked….you know I won’t  but….find someone, Rocco would eventually have done it so….find someone.

I guess I’ll always be Rocco’s kid, at least in my mind.

Three days later I rolled out with Sammy...he’d told me if I went out….I had to get ready to become a his kind of man, fucked, sucked, just what Rocco probably was going to do real soon. I mentioned I was a virgin. He mentioned that was the best news he’d heard...in some little while, smiled, what the hell, I smiled back…

Our last place in town was my street….When I got back, get out my old pants, nondescript shirt, steel toed shoes, stick my gun under my shoulder, adjust my whipping leather belt...walk up and down, remind them that it would be okay, actually I’d like it, if they called me Rocco.

I was hanging out with Time….he knew….asked if I wanted Rocco’s mark on me. Picked up a recently stolen machine gun, thought about it, looked at him and just shook my head. Remembered what Rocco had said when I ask him why he didn’t have any ink?

“Coop….ink is a good as DNA or a fingerprint...doesn’t matter where you got it, fact is, it's easier than any of that shit, you can see it, don't even have to be dusted. Made sense.

“Tell you what, Time, I got an idea….can you make my cuffs into a watch? Maybe use an ‘R’ as the hands? Maybe have an ‘C’ at six and twelve….someplace the hands would touch each other….?