Some things end, and other things begin.
(2 Weeks later...)
Sitting here back home on the other side of world, I think about my last trip back. We met 4 times over two weeks. We sucked, rimmed fucked, even made out in the shower a couple of times. (another high school fantasy fulfilled.) A fitting end to our story.
Ending? Yes. Things end… that’s all. Everything ends, and it’s always sad. But everything begins again too, and that is always happy (more about that in a bit…)
They key is to find what makes you happy. The rest, is just … the rest. As fun as this was and is. It is best that it ends.
It turns out, that nagging voice in the back of my head was correct. Looking back at whatever “this was” it is clear what is was not.
For him, this was about cock lust. Pure and simple. My cock was available, and a safe (as well as discrete) option.
For me it was about him. I had wanted, and yes, even been in love with him for over three decades. But for him, it was never about being with me specifically. It was about feasibility.
It is not surprising that other, closer, (and for him, more appealing) options have been found. A camping buddy in a similar marital situation. Who this past week, he “sucked four loads out of” in less than 12 hours. There is a friend of a friend who volunteers in one the same organizations he does. And even a contact made through the internet on this site.. All able to provide him the “release” he wants.
Making me. well…. Redundant.
Don’t get me wrong. I really am happy for him and fine with it all. If I am honest with myself, I always knew this would be how the story ends. That’s the big difference here. For him this was ‘having fun”. For me it was about being with him. Turns out a friend of mine, who predicted this ending was right. He said I was having an affair with Scout, but he wasn’t having one with me.
As a narrative arc, an affair will always end badly. They are this odd mixture of your life as it is and as you wish it would be. One sided affairs even more so, and that was what this was. A one-sided affair.
I know what you are wondering. What about His wife? Well, remember way back in chapter one I told you this story was a mix of true and fictional events? The part about her finding out about us… that part was fiction. The irony is, that on a very real level Scout would like that bit to have been true.
We all have our unfulfilled fantasies, I guess.
So, what happens now? Nothing really. We go back to being very good friends… from a distance. He has found closer cocks to suck, and I need to stop rearranging my life around creating opportunities just to have him to suck mine.
Do I still want him? Hell yeah. I love him, and always will. Hearing him moan as I tongue fucked his ass two weeks ago made me cum twice just by the sound of it, But while he may still want to suck my cock, he isn’t that fussed about the rest of me.
That small realization really does change things.
I absolutely was happy to be “friends with benefits” . The problem was we both defined those benefits differently. It’s not a case where one of us “caught feelings” because I had those feelings all along. Hoping he might too at some point was wishful thinking. That isn’t anyone’s fault. He just isn’t wired that way, and never will be. Best to step back before this becomes more emotional pain than physical pleasure.
So yes, things end, and it’s sad. But they begin again too and that’s happy. My friend and his camping buddy clearly have a greater physical chemistry than we did.
And on this side of the world there is a very interesting story for me to begin exploring. Because it turns out, there is an old friend here who (for reasons that baffle the hell out me), wants to be for me, what I had wanted to be for Scout.
So the story does continue. Just in ways we may not have expected.
I am incredibly grateful though. The last few years have been this amazing gift to that horny, lovesick teenager I was all those years ago. Finally getting to tell him I wanted him and yes love him, was a very real fantasy come true. I got to explore that road not taken.
They say life doesn’t give you second chances. In this case I have never been happier to be wrong.
(Two months later)
“Yeah it was a quickie but it was fun”
I looked down at the text from my friend ‘back home’ He was recounting his latest meeting with his ‘camping buddy’. A friend of his, who lives 5 hours away from him who is also married and in a similar situation. They have been meeting up semi regularly when the buddy is down visiting his family. Last year they did a fishing trip where my friend proudly shared with me that he had “sucked 4 loads out of him “ in less than twelve hours.
It's odd to feel relief at being made “redundant” but in this case it was true. When I realized that my relationship with Scout was pretty much a one sided affair I had hoped he would explore and expand his other options. Apparently, I needn’t have worried.
“So I hate to say I told you so…. But…” My friend KC looked at me from across the table at the little corner café we were sitting in. Taking a long slow drink of his coffee he smiled sympathetically as he continued to gently hammer his point home.
“I did try to warn you. Not that you listened to me or anything…” There are few things as annoying as a well-intentioned friend who is proven right and gets to say he told you so. I looked up from my lunch and rolled my eyes. “Okay… okay... yes, you were right. You don’t have to look so smug about it geez!”
Sitting there, I looked over at my friend. He was one of these ridiculously good-looking gay men. Built like a middle weight bodybuilder with piercing blue eyes and a smile that could easily ruin a conservative family values politician’s career. (And possibly had, when telling his many tantalizing stories from his days back in the late 90s as an Adult Film performer KC was always frustratingly vague on identifying details.)
KC is the one friend with whom I had shared the story of my reconnecting with Scout. As well has how it had now ended. Putting down his coffee mug he continued his summary of what he feels he had clearly predicted as the inevitable collapse of my affair with Scout.
“Bi Married guys are the worst! Not bad people, but it’s about convenience. That’s all. He never saw any of it as being with YOU. It was about easy access to a safe discreet dick. In this case, yours.” I started to protest that his take on things was a huge oversimplification. He waved his hand dismissively, “Oh come on! Let’s look at your little camping trip shall we? You put it down in black and white what you wanted to have happen. It’s chapter two of the fuckin story you wrote!”
I tried to interrupt but he wasn’t finished, leaning with his eyes boring into me he continued; “All he had to do was follow the plot and give you that one night you wish you’d had all those years ago. And what happened? He couldn’t do it! Could he?” I nodded. Leaning back he smiled that smug annoying grin of his; “And do you need me to explain WHY he couldn’t?” I held up my hand, indicating that this conversation was getting old.
“What do you want me to say KC? That he wasn’t attracted to me? Ok fine… you were right, he isn’t into me, he just wanted dick, and it was stupid for me to expect that he’d be open to what I wanted. There! Happy now?” I leaned back and glared, hoping he’d take the hint and change the subject.
His grin morphed into an oddly serious expression. “Honestly no. I’m not happy about it. It sucks for you. You have had a thing for this guy since you were teenagers and you finally get a shot at hooking up with him and it all went south. I know how frustrating that shit can be.”
I looked at him burst out laughing. “YOU??! Gimme a break. Have you looked in mirror? You were a PORN STAR, nobody ever has said no to you KC, so I appreciate the sympathy but find the attempt at empathy less credible my friend.”
He looked steadily for a good thirty seconds, which was starting to un-nerve me. He smiled and replied softly; “You did.”
Confused I asked what he was talking about. He looked out the window the back at me. “You said no. To me. Every time I suggest that if you want a friend with benefits, it should be me, you say no.” I laughed again and thanked him for the gesture, then stated the obvious. “Cute KC but we both know you are just being a flirt. Guys who look like you do not hook up with average looking, slightly chunky nerdish guys like me., Cute of you to try to make me feel better though, thanks.”.
At that moment the waitress brought the bill and put it in the middle of the table. As today was my turn to get lunch, I leaned forward to pick it up. Learning forward at the same time, he grabs the lapels of my jacket pulling me in. My eyes must have been wide with shock when he proceeds to kiss me within an inch of my life. I start to see stars as he basically tongue fucks my mouth right there in the café.
Pulling back we both came up for air. His voice was low and raspy; “Pay the damn bill and let’s get outta here” Somehow, I managed to get my wallet out and put the needed amount down. Reaching over to grab my arm he pulls me out of my seat and we make our way down the street. I suddenly realize we are nearing his flat. I stop and put my hand where he is gripping my arm.
“Look I appreciate what you are trying to do. Really, I do. But I am fine and I don’t need to mess up a twenty year friendship with you with a hook up, okay?” Looking at me he laughs loudly; “For a guy as smart as you are, you can be fuckin clueless! I have wanted us to be doing this and doing it A LOT since we met.” He starts pulling me forward to the door of his building; “We are good friends. We’re not dating, we are not gonna be a couple. We are gonna be good friends who fuck, whenever you want. Now Cmon!”
I am not sure why I followed him in, I guess I was curious to see how far he was willing to take the joke. When the door to this place closed behind us, his shirt was on floor and I was pinned against the wall as he unbuttoned mine, while his mouth made a serious meal of the side my neck. I started to think this might not be a joke after all. If this kept going the way it looked to be heading. ... he was going to get another chance to smugly say ‘he told me so. ‘
A fact that was made very clear when both my pants and his came flying off and I found myself on the bed with this mountain of muscle over me in almost a push up position. I feel his breath on the side of neck and he whispers: “If want me to stop you better tell me now, otherwise this is totally happening.” I turn my head and slam my mouth into his and as our tongues wrestle I feel his cock slide against mine. It feels like two live electric wires connecting.
He breaks away and his teeth scrape the side of my neck, and he hisses in my ear “God I was hoping you’d be into Frot too”. All I can do is moan and nod as his teeth gently bite down on the nape of my neck as if feel his hand slick with lube pressing our cocks together as he slowly strokes them. I barely manage to say he’d better stop or I won’t last much longer. His reply is like the laugh of a villain from a James Bond movie’ “Oh don’t worry… you’re not coming yet But you will, and we’re gonna see just how many times you can..”
I wrap my legs around his torso as we roll over and are laying side by side facing each other. I feel an intense sensation as a silicone sleave slides down over both our cocks pressing them even harder together. Unconsciously both our hips start to thrust inside the sleave as our mouths lock together. I am feeling my orgasm start to build and try to warn him that I am not going to last.
Suddenly I feel the sleave get pulled off and I am on my back with this ridiculously hot man straddling me. Pinning my hands down on the bed I feel him arch upward and I am overwhelmed by the feeling of my painfully hard cock slowly entering his ass.
He looks down at me and smiles “I was hoping that would be your reaction” With an evil grin he starts to slowly work his hips up and down edging my cock with his hole. I am starting to lose vision in one eye as my legs start to tremble. At that moment he slams his ass all the way down on my cock while he leans forward and his tongue rams into my mouth. It feels like a plume of lava is working its way up from my balls.
All I can do is utter a gurgle... a literal fucking gurgle as I explode deep inside him. We lie there inert for what feels like time has stopped. He rolls off me and smiles that smug grin I saw only about an hour ago at the café; “That was totally worth waiting for!”
With an energy that I didn’t know I had. I roll us both over and am now straddling him. His muscular torso and very visible abs laid out before me. I smile down and say “What’s good for one is good for both” Grabbing the lube I slick his cock and before he can say anything lower myself down on to it mirroring what he did to me moments before.
I am treated to the satisfying sight of his eyes first going wide. then rolling back as I start to deliver delicious payback riding his hard cock like a pogo stick. Clamping down on him with my glutes with each downward thrust.
He begins to mirror my movements thrusting up with his hips We start going faster and faster. I can feel his orgasm starting to build. He looks up and is trying to speak” “I’m… I’m… gonna.. oh FUUUUUCKK!!!!” he thrusts up and lets loose deep in me hitting my prostate and causing me to cum again as my shots splash over his pecs. I roll off him and we lie that there panting.
He gets up pulling me by the hand into the bathroom and we are in the shower slowly soaping each other up . While our tongues battle each other. He pulls back and in the dim steam filled shower stall I see him look at me with genuine surprise; “Why the FUCK haven’t we been doing this for YEARS??”
I rub my hand down his back to his incredible muscular ass and laugh: “I always thought you were kidding and just being a flirt.” He leans in and I am faced with that smug grin. As his mouth moves in to take mine I hear him whisper.
“I told you so.”
Hours later sitting on the subway train heading home I message Scout on KIK. I tell him we need to come up with a better ending to the story and He should write chapters about his encounters with his camping buddy and I would share details of my own new…. endeavors.
I see the indication he is trying a reply and the next thing that pops up on my screen is the smiling devil emoji .
(To Be Continued)
