Only In My Dreams

I couldn't help but feel nervous around Bobby. He was so good looking, and so big. I'm just a scrawny little guy. God, I feel like a slut; I went from one guy to another, and I guess Jamie was right, I am a good for nothing whore. I looked at Bobby with sad eyes, and as we are on our way to his house, I couldn't help but feel guilty about leaving Jamie. He may be mean, and hurtful, but he was my first boyfriend, and he treated me so good when my mom died. "are you thinking about him?" Bobby asked as I looked out of the window. "n-no..." I said looking back at my feet. "you can't let him get to you, because that's what he wants: control over you." Bobby said as he put his hand on my knee. "I would never do that, Alec. It's wrong for one partner to try and control the other." he said as we pulled up to his house. He knew that I was feeling a little apprehensive, so as I climbed out of the car, and up to his house, I feel a strong arm tenderly wrap around my slender waist. "you don't need to be scared, Though I understand why you would be." he said opening the door as he led me inside. I held onto my mother's pillow as I cautiously walked further into his nice, warm house. "there's a room at the top of the stairs you can have if you'd like." he said smiling warmly. I smiled weakly, and headed upstairs. I opened the door, and saw a big comfy looking bed, bare white walls, smooth, red carpeting, and my own bathroom. "you like it?" I turned around quickly, and see him smiling and leaning against the wall. 

"I love it. Its perfect for me." I said as he stepped into the room. "I'm glad." he said as I felt his warm, calloused hands rub my forearms. I watch as he pulls me in slowly, and lovingly for a great, passionate kiss. My breathing became shallow, as wave after wave of electricity flowed through my whole body. He guided me over to the bed, and laid me down as he gently lowered himself onto me, and gave me another great kiss. His hand slips up my shirt, and traces over my abs. All of a sudden, he stopped. I opened my eyes, and see two beautiful blue eyes looking back at me. "we don't have to do it if you don't want to..." he said with his voice full of concern for me. I smiled, and pulled him back down onto my lips. My tongue shoots into his mouth, and swirls around with his tongue doing the same. I remove his cap, and slide his shirt up his body, and over his head. I'm not sure how I managed to get it off of him without breaking the kiss, but I did it. My fingers traced over his strong, muscular back as I move my hands from his lower back, up to his massive shoulder blades. The room became hot and sticky, and I felt my own shirt get removed. Sweat was covering my chest and abs as Bobby dove back onto me. He kissed my neck, making me purr in delight as he slips a hand into my pants. Sudden nervousness grips me, and I pull my hips back. But, I had to remember, this isn't Jamie, this is the sweet, caring, gentle giant, Bobby Greene. He slips my jeans off, and takes a hold of my boxer-briefs waistband. He looked up at me as if to say, "is this ok with you?" I nod slowly, and he pulls my black briefs off, and my cock stood at full attention. 

Is he...?

I watched as he slipped my throbbing cock into his slick, warm mouth. I close my eyes tightly as his warm tongue slapped against the head of my dick. It felt so good! Who knew that a hot, young stud like Bobby could be gay, but he is. The room felt hot, and my back stuck to the sheets as sweat rolled down my battered body, and onto the bed.  My breathing increased, and my eyes tightened as pleasure reached critical levels, and hot semen spewed out of my dick, and into Bobby's mouth, A little got on his face. 

"oh, god! I'm so sorry! Let me--"

I couldnt finish my sentence, because He kissed me very passionately, sharing the cum with me. I never did like the taste of my own cum; it's too salty, but apparently, Bobby loves it. My eyes flutter open, and I see Bobby looking back at me with his cool, blue eyes sending chills up my spine. He climbed off of me, and laid down in the bed next to me; nuzzling my head in his strong chest, he wrapped his right arm around me, and kissed my forehead. "I don't want to push you further, Alec. So maybe just head is good enough." he said smiling as I look at him slightly confused. "but, shouldn't I re--"

"you were just in an abusive relationship, where god knows what happened to you, and I don't want to be the one that reminds you of those things." Bobby said quietly.

He did have a point I guess. But, this isn't Jamie, this is Bobby. The Bobby that opened up his home to me, the Bobby that sat with me and listened to my crap for hours, the one that... Kissed me at the aquatics center, all of these things Bobby did for me were out of this world, but Jamie still had a piece of my head, and he isn't letting go. I just hope he doesn't come looking for me, because he could really hurt me... Or kill me. I stood up suddenly, and I start shaking as I pull my jeans back up, and my shirt back on. "are you ok?" Bobby asked climbing out of the bed. "I-I need to go Bobby..." I said putting on a coat. "why? Is it something I did?" he asked with his voice full of regret. "no, it's not you, it's me. I-I know, it sounds cliché, but it really is. I can't live knowing that j-Jamie could f-find me and hurt me; it scares me t-too much." I said heading out the door. "hey... Hey..." he said as he put his hands in mine. "he's never going to hurt you again, but, if you don't feel comfortable staying, then I would understand why you needed to leave, but..." he trailed off as he stepped a little closer to me. "... Please don't go..." he finished as he popped a little kiss on my lips. I smiled a little, and put my bag back on the floor.

It beats having to go to Illinois....

* * *

I hate the winter; its so cold, and with the football team still picking on me, it's only a matter of time before I get "lined." basically, because it's happened so many times to me, when someone is "lined," they are stripped buck naked, tied to the field goal, and the team tries to kick  footballs at your balls. Luckily, it hasn't happened yet. As I walk down between the two buildings of my school, I notice a thick sheet of snow at my feet, and a white, smoky mist that flows out of my mouth; signaling how cold it can get in Compton. I round the corner to head for the parking lot when...

"hey, bro!" Jackson yelled as he slings his arm over my shoulder. His buddy, Kyle did the same. I just kept walking, then I felt them tug on me to stop. "stop bitch, or I'll beat the suit out of you right here!" Kyle ordered. I hung my head, and did as I was told. "we saw you with that new kid, Bobby. You fuckin' him too?" Jackson laughed as I just looked down at the snow. "can't get enough dick, huh?" Gary, another football player said. They walked me over to an alley behind the two buildings, and pushed me into famed "stairwell E," known for people having sex there. They were all laughing and joking as they sat me down on the stairs. I watch as Jackson whispered something into Gary's ear. He laughed, and took the camera into his other hand. He took out his monstrous penis, and walked closer to me. "c'mon, open up!" he joked as he slapped me lightly in the face with his cock. I grimaced as his musky dick made contact with my cold cheek. "you like my dick, Alec?" he asked. 

"no... Please stop..." I said looking at the camera a few times. I didn't want to end up like Mason Fellini, the only other openly gay kid in the school, so I quietly sat there. Mason was beaten up by these same guys.

After Toby was arrested, Jackson vanished, and apparently started his own hate group in the school. I, like many other gay kids, were deathly afraid of him and his group. Gary put his large dick away, and Kyle, along with Jackson, picked me up, and walked me outside.

"we're going to have a chat..." he said as they push me against my will over to a snow covered bench. There was at least 10 people, and one was holding a video camera. "you know what you did, faggot?! You cost us our first game!" a linebacker, Jimmy barked from the crowd. "'cause o' you, Toby got 2-5 at Bellevue." kyle yelled in my ear. Jackson gestured Kyle to calm down, and then looked back at me. "where are you off to, Alec? Gotta hot date? Need a good ass fucking tonight?" Jackson said as a few people laughed. I sat quietly on the bench as they continue to poke fun. I looked at each person, with fear growing in my eyes. "hey, Alec, would you ever sleep with principal Baxter? I mean you are a dick sucker and all, but don't you have... standards? Wait, you're gay. You don't have standards..." he said keeping his arm over my shoulder. 

"that's not true..." I said nervously. "well, you dated Jamie Townsend, so clearly you don't! Are you retarded, or just cock-hungry?!" jackson asked rudely. "I didn't know he was going to hurt me..." I nervously said as I look at the ground. 

"as long as people like you get some good cock, who cares right?" Gary yelled. He was the one holding the camera. "what a fuckin' loser..." another one announced. "he probably couldn't get any pussy when he was a freshman or something." Jackson added. 

"or he was fucked by his daddy. And mommy didn't love you enough to stop him, huh?" Kyle teased. "don't talk about my mom..." I whispered. 

"what was that?" he said lightly punching me in the side of the head; enough to correct me. "n-nothing..." I said as fear started to creep into my mind. They were starting to really scare me; I didn't know if they were going to hurt me, or humiliate me, or both, so I sat again quietly in the chair. "hey, Alec." another player, Tom asked. I looked at him with fear-stricken eyes. "If I gave you $600, would you suck my hard dick?" he asked.

"no..."

"don't give us that shit, Alec. We know you love it." Jackson laughed.

"in the ass too!" Kyle said as they laughed and nudged me around. I started to stand up, but two strong hands force me back on the bench. "now, unless you do what I say, I will beat you to a fucking pulp, got it?" Jackson ordered. I looked over to him, and nodded slowly; fearing for my safety. "so, you're going to look into that camera, say your name, and tell the whole school what you are, and you need to read this..." Kyle said as he handed me a script from the bible: Leviticus 18:22. "now, what's your full name?" Jackson asked. "Alec Robert Denton..." I replied looking into the camera with a petrified look on my face. I knew that eventually, they will hurt me, and it's only a question of when. "what are you here to tell the school, Alec?" Kyle asked. I choked up; I couldn't say it. These guys are outing me, and I know what's going to happen at this school. There are more bullies in this school than all the other ones in the county combined. Kyle grew furious, and pulled my collar close. "do it, or end up like your whore mother..." he said in a hushed, but forced tone. "I-I'm.... Gay... And, I think it's wrong." I said reading the card they handed me along with the Excerpt from the bible. "these guys I'm sitting with.... Are going to cure me of my disease, and if you are a filthy, cum-catching faggot like me, you should have them help you too..." I said choking my words. "guys, I just wanna go home..." I said looking at Jackson. He laughed, and Kyle hit me again. "read!" he demanded. I looked back at the piece of paper, and sighed in defeat. "dad, I'm sorry I couldn't be a good son, and I'm sorry you have a faggot as a child, and I hope you accept my apolo-- I can't do this....." I said as I started to cry. Jackson grew furious, and so did Kyle. "I think he needs some inspiration..." Kyle said as he pulled something shiny out of his pocket, and placed the tip on my cheek. I gasp as the cold steel molested my skin. 

I look back at the card. "and... I-I should be killed for my sin..." I finished with tears of fear welling inside my eyes. I made eye contact with every single one of the boys that surrounded me, and listened as they turned off the camera. I gulped nervously as a plan of escape filled my mind. I saw my opportunity, and booked it. I don't know where I'm running to, but anywhere is better than here! It wasn't long after that I felt a pair of strong hands push me onto the ground. I felt a sharp blow to my ribs, one to the face, and several more to the gut. I heard one boy yell, "turn on the camera," then I felt strong hands grab a hold of my hair. "stick out your tongue, faggot!" Jackson commanded. I tossed and turned in the cold snow, trying to make my protests known, but to no avail. They brought me to my knees, and they eventually forced my mouth open, and a warm, salty liquid splashed on my face. 

They're peeing on me....

"ahhhh....." the boy groaned as urine left his body, and splashed onto mine. His urine mixed with my tears, and fell onto the cold ground below me. 

Could this day get any worse?! Could my LIFE be any worse?!

"let's get outta here, boys." Jackson ordered as the boys departed and left me in a bloody, urine-soaked mess. I brought my knees close to my chest, and silently cried as people passed by; totally unaware of the he'll I'm going through. The Thoughts I'm thinking about are usually bad, but right now, they seem like the only way I can be free. So, I wiped my face clean, and began walking west to the Garver bridge. 

Once I reached the massive crossing, I made my way to the highest point of the bridge: 156 feet above the water. The fall would certainly kill me, so I step out onto the side of the bridge, and wrap my arms around the cold green railing that supports me until I decide to fall. I look down to the icy rushing river, and I knew that in seconds, all of my pain and anger will disappear, and I can be with my mom again. I listened to the rushing air as cars sped by, and trolleys rocked the bridge below. 

"ALEC!!" I look over my shoulder, and see Bobby running towards me. I looked back at the cool water, made my decision, and let go. 

"NO!!!" I heard him sob as an arm grabbed mine. I look up to see Bobby holding onto me for dear life. "don't do this Alec, I love you!"

"you don't understand, Bobby. You don't know what it's like to be bullied, you dont know what it's like to be peed on, or humiliated. I need to do this... It's the only way."

"no! It's not the only way, Alec! We can beat this. Together, as a team!" he said pleading me to not do this. I thought about it, and grabbed the side of the bridge. I was soon back on it, and nuzzled tightly in Bobby's warm chest.

What was I thinking...?

He didn't let go; he clung to me like white on rice, and it was so warm. "don't ever do that again...." Bobby said as his voice shakes. 

"I-I'm so sorry, Bobby...."