One Little Thing

“OK. You have a point. But I never saw us like that,” I was honest.

“It’s ok if you didn’t keep our promise. I didn’t either.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“About jacking off without the other.”

“We were sixteen. And just so you know, I never jacked off with anybody or anything else, for that matter.”

“I had offers but like you, I didn’t either.” I knew he was telling the truth.

“I’m so… fuckin sorry, Kyle, I really am. Are you ready to tell me what happened? We never used drugs.”

“You don’t want to know.” He said after a minute.

“I don’t think you’re in a position to tell me what I want to know, Kyle.”

“I thought about you every night,” He started.

“You think I didn’t wonder about you every night, Kyle? Tell me why? We didn’t do shit like you were trying to buy?”

“I wanted to die. Happy now?” It took me a minute to digest that.

“Why?” I asked.

“I couldn’t live with the hole you left in my heart. When you left all I wanted to do was die. You said you wanted to kiss me years ago? Why didn’t you?” He questioned.

“You told me that would have been gay; two guys kissing.” And I smiled at him.

“I never said I wouldn’t have kissed you back.” And I believed him.

I reached over taking his hand looking at the wall that would hold a big screen tomorrow. I kissed his hand, straddled him, pushed some hair back, held his cheeks, and looked into his eyes. “I’m gonna do something really gay.” And I kissed him.

It was bitter-sweet and then turned into the best sweetness. Why didn’t I kiss him all those years ago? So… much shit was in my head, the thought of him wanting to die, me, the one that left a hole in his heart. We came up for air.

I so… fuckin loved him, the smile he had now and his closed eyes. It was morning and we had been going through all the shit of his letters to me. I knew it was cuming; “Why didn’t you write me back?” I didn’t need that.

“Let’s eat those Burritos,” I said getting up.

We heated them slowly, both of us still fully clothed. “I gotta log on,” I told him moving to the bar and laptop the Company sent me.

This was me now; my job. I logged on and started with my cohorts. We talked for a few and then went global for a conference. Kyle? He watched me, smiled now and then, lipped to me he was taking a shower. That destroyed my concentration.

“What happened to your meeting?” He asked looking at me through the glass with a smile.

“If kissing you was gay; would I be a total fag if I got in with you, Kyle?”

“I remember the first time we took a bath together, Carl; that wasn’t gay.” And I saw him remembering.

I looked long and hard at him, remembered years of shit, and as much as I wanted I just couldn’t. I turned starting to cry. His wet hand caught me pushing me fully clothed into the shower. “I don’t need or want to see your tears, pussy” Now that fuckin hurt.

Don’t ask me why it pissed me off so much? “Then don’t fuckin look,” I told him.

We destroyed the bathroom that I had never used, broken glass, water everywhere, and we’d punched the shit out of each other. He grabbed my face and kissed me; that ended the fight. There was no clear winner, both of us would have shiners and bruises in an hour. My phone rang.

“You are so…gonna get it,” I told him.

“Didn’t I just get it, C?” He had a point

“I got to get this,” and walked out picking up my phone tasting blood in my mouth.

“What do you want, Mom,” I answered. I was still a little pissed at her.

“Dinner is at six. I expect both of you. The door will be unlocked.” Call ended.

It took me a minute to realize how much I hurt. I took at least a dozen shots to my body, stomach, ribs, and my sides. I knew he’d be pissing blood from the shots to his back, but I smiled.

I walked back into the bathroom we’d destroyed. “Do you even know how much my damage deposit is?” I asked him looking at his own sorry self in the mirror.

He didn’t look at me but instead looked at me in the mirror. “Are you asking me if I know, or if I care? The answer to both is no. And don’t start with the sorry shit.” My phone rang saving his ass again.

“I don’t know what happened,” I said. “It must have been the connection.” I lied.

I walked back in dropping my wet clothes and stepping around the broken glass, looked at him in the mirror, and stepped under the water. “Sorry.” He said.

“I know. Now get in here and let me touch you.”

I made him cum with my hands like we had done hundreds of times, remembered him at fourteen and all the time up till I left; I was sorry too. I touched him like I never had before, his back and front, his face and arms, just all of him. “Do you plan on getting a bed, Carl?” He asked looking at my empty room.

“I have something in mind but I can sleep on the couch till I make that purchase.”

“What about me?” He asked.

“What about you?” I asked back turning to look at him.

“Well, I just thought?” And he stopped.

“I’m fucking with you, Kyle.”

“Will you cum and lay down with me; I’m exhausted.” He stated.

“I will but I need to log on and by the way, we’re having dinner at my parents tonight.” I watched his frame in tight boxer-briefs walk over to the couch.

He was asleep in minutes, blond hair hanging down and around his face, muscles bigger than mine now. We hadn’t slept since we got up yesterday morning and I wanted nothing more than lay down with him. I logged on.

Their faces popped up one by one and I waited to see who asked first. “Sorry everybody, I just lost my connection this morning. How did the meeting end?” And I waited.

“Care to tell us what the other guy looks like?” Came from Lisa. She’s an engineer and doesn’t do well in person.

“Let’s move on,” I said to all of them.

“Well. It’s a good thing you didn’t look like that a couple of hours ago.” Lisa started. “Let’s move on, Ain’t gonna cut it. We want details.” And I had six pairs of eyes looking at me.

“A guy tried to roll me on my way to Starbucks. Happy?” They didn’t buy it.

“That’s strike one batter. Care to swing again?” That came from Lee.

“I fell down the stairs.” And I glared at the screen.

“Strike two.” came from the guy whose name I can’t remember.

I had read all their profiles, understood I was a mouthpiece for geeks who couldn’t talk, but I needed them to do my job. “Let’s move on.” I directed.

“You still have one more swing batter.” Fuckin Lisa.

“What do you all want to hear? Maybe I was in a bar fight at eight o’clock this morning? What if I told you it was rough sex? This ones, my favorite, and the title of my autobiography, I’m in an abusive relationship. Now can we move on?”

They all just looked at me so I started. “Sid? I looked over those numbers and you must have made a mistake. Do the math again.” And his face disappeared.

“And you two. I know you are working together. Have you ever been to a Fulfillment Center? I think you’re holding each other back. No more collaboration. Now go to work.” And I rubbed my sore middle.

“Lisa? Have you ever been to a Fulfillment Center?” I asked.

“NO.” She spits back at me.

“Ok. I’m gonna set something up; a field trip. It makes my head hurt, what we all do and none of you have even seen the meat and potatoes of this company. Chew on that; your work is important.” I thought that went well.

“You think you can just log on and stomp the shit out of us?” I noticed her body language.

“Well. Yes, I do. I have to answer to those above me and if I can’t get from my team what I need; I’ll get a new team.” The company hired me for my balls.

“That’s fair.” Her face was the only one on my screen now. “So? Care to make the last swing, batter?” she asked.

I looked over my shoulder at Kyle asleep on a monstrous couch, sprawled out on the chaise. It was nine pieces making a big U. The apartment was large for a two-bedroom; two thousand square feet. Most of it was living space but the bedrooms and baths were huge as well.

“What do you want, Lisa?” I asked in a softer tone.

“It looks like it hurts. Have you really looked at yourself?” And she was honest; I could tell. And I hadn’t.

“Sometimes, Lisa.” And I stopped feeling my right eye.

“Sometimes a guy like me needs to be slapped down. But I don’t think you will see this look again.” I was sure when I said that.

“You know I did a search on you?” And she smiled.

“And?” I asked her. I had never Googled myself. I didn’t have dick-pics out there and figured The Company had done that and would have hired me anyway.

“Who’s Kyle?” I hate people smirking at me.

“You don’t have to go into details; I saw all I needed. Is he your boyfriend? Was he incarcerated?”

I looked at him again over my shoulder. “I don’t like labels; do you?”

“Are you stupid, or just dumb?” She was pissing me off.

“Excuse you?” I had found my balls again.

“I assume you are, C? I assume you haven’t seen the viral YouTube Vid? He is hotter than fuck.” And she smiled to mine.

“You’re right. He is. What’s your point?”

“I just wanted to see your face when you realized it.” And my screen was blank.

I zoomed my boss. “Do you realize none of my team have any idea what we do?” And I got a look.

The long pause must have meant it was still on me. “We will set up a field trip to Vegas. It is the best display of what we do.” And I waited.

“Make it happen.” And he cut me off.

I pulled up numbers and plans my team had posted. I couldn’t concentrate; I’d been up thirty hours. I had fought with Kyle, we had kicked each other’s asses, and I looked at him again.