Hey Y'all. Here's another apology. I'm releasing this tonight - a few days before I feel it's really 'done' - I know it's not perfect. But I think it's ready enough, and I need to let it go so I can finally focus on the wedding. Just as importantly, I hope this fulfills the "most popular" requests I've received from my readers. This is practically a stand-alone story that anyone can read - Fans of Ollie or not. It's Chris and Ted's relationship origin story. Lurd! I don't want to jinx anything, but after 4 weeks of rewrites, it somehow came out way better than I expected. I hope you enjoy it.
Oh, and also forgive my little opening political rant - Tuck Fexus.
Chapter 11: The Longest Love
Standing in our driveway, watching the taillights of our sons' Uber disappear into the night, I was on a fatherly high. It felt wonderful to free my Ollie of the unnecessary guilt I knew he’d been carrying and just bask in the joy and excitement our boys were radiating over their approaching wedding.
But I was also a little wistful remembering our own. Back in 2015, Chris and I could only marry if we crossed state lines. Even then, the only reason to do so was because the federal government had recently agreed to recognize it. We understood there was no way that our home state would ever acknowledge our commitment without a higher power weighing in.
We somehow voluntarily live in a bass-ackwards state that finds itself:
With a governor who preaches his party’s definition of freedom while denying us ours. And gleefully proving he’s nothing more than a presidential puppet by suddenly withholding state and federal road funding to any city allowing rainbow cross-walks.
With a lieutenant governor who’s too busy pandering to his “bubba base” to actually fulfill his duties.
And finally, with an attorney general entirely too preoccupied with dodging his own indictments as if they were red rubber balls being thrown on a high school gym floor.
As a Gay Son of the Lone Star State, sometimes you just have to say: Tuck Fexus. Believe me, we have every right to shout it - with impunity.
****
Shaking off my little rant and settling down for the night, Chris and I found ourselves curled up on the couch, checking our phones, reading our devices, and half-watching one of the “Planet of the Apes” remakes. I couldn’t even tell you the movie’s name - just that when a bad ape suddenly threw a good ape over a balcony, I shot upright and yelped, “Sweet sweet! Did you just see that?”
Chris lowered his Kindle and raised his eyebrows at me, initially baffled, until I directed his attention to the screen while I paused and rewound the action. “Christopher! That spot is exactly where we were married! On the fourth floor of the San Francisco City Hall. The floor they told us almost no one gets to go to. Remember? We only got to be married there because all the usual places were taken.”
My doubting other half made me rewind the movie once more to prove it. When he finally accepted it for himself, he just shook his head and gave me a knowing look that sliced a cross-cut through all of our incredible years together - laying bare the memories of our joys and our struggles.
As the scene faded away and our focus returned to the two of us, I leaned over, searching his eyes. “Sweet sweet… do you realize that we’ve been together for almost twenty-one years? And we’ve somehow ended up with two sons who are about to marry each other?” I snickered, “Lurd, I’ll never get tired of that dad joke.”
We chuckled once again at the absurd but miraculous truth of it. And somewhere in our laughter, the mist of those shared years lifted to reveal our first fragile days together. I lost myself in the memory of an awkward Wednesday first date, and an even more edgy Friday night.
Somehow, we managed to navigate an entire weekend together. Back when everything was only just beginning - without any guarantee of it turning into something long-term…
Chapter 12: And The Best Eye Roll Goes To…
We were in a part of Fort Worth I thought I knew by heart, but somehow I’d never stepped into this funky, trendy, and obviously very popular Italian restaurant. The inviting smells that greeted me at the door captured my full attention. Unfortunately, so did the maître d’s barely concealed eye roll as he noticed Chris walking in with me as his assumed date.
I noticed Chris had caught it too. As soon as we were seated and alone again, he leaned across our table with an embarrassed smile. “Ted, I swear I didn’t expect our host’s reaction either. But, yeah, I’m sure it’s my fault. I love this place so much, I come here a lot. Both with my friends, and…” His look shifted into a more sheepish grin, “…with a few first dates too.”
He chuckled, trying to soften the blow. “Maybe I should’ve asked my friends to wear a name tag that said “Hi! I’m Bob but I’m Not Chris’ Date” so the staff wouldn’t get confused.” The reassuring smile he added afterward was as beautiful - and as sincere - as I hoped he really was.
I was already so nervous that the little wrinkle in our night made me release a small snicker despite myself. “Chris, I believe you, but come on… that was the best eye roll I’ve ever seen from a restaurant professional. The food here better be really good.” I tried to make my grin be honest yet playful. Because the truth was, I was completely enthralled just sitting across from him. But I wanted him to know that I was also willing to bounce along with any bumps we might hit on our first date journey.
And as it turned out, our second bump arrived almost immediately. The quality of the restaurant’s food wasn’t in question. No, that turned out to be perfect. Our next awkwardness hit when Chris confidently ordered our appetizer without asking me for my preferences. I have a weird aversion to raw tomatoes and I know I failed to hide the protest in my eyes when Chris insisted we start our dinner with the restaurant’s signature bruschetta.
When the appetizer arrived, my beautiful date couldn’t wait to scoop a crispy piece of bread into the bowl of diced tomatoes. He finally noticed my hesitation, “Trust me Chris, this dish is why this place is always so hard to get a reservation for.”
Against my better judgment, I did… and as soon as the raw tomatoes and toasted bread hit my tongue, everything changed. Finally! We’d just been granted the first reprieve after our awkward start. I’d never been so relieved to be so wrong about an appetizer in my life. New rule: no raw tomatoes unless they’re diced and covered in the most incredible mix of basil, garlic and olive oil I’ve ever tasted.
Chris grinned at my shocked but happy look, clearly as delighted as I was. “See? That’s exactly why I bring everyone here. Although,” he added with a teasing glint in his eyes, “Like I said, I guess I really should start clarifying the romantic status of my companions to our judgmental host and his staff.” His timing made me nearly choke on my next bite of Italian paradise.
The rest of our meal only solidified my trust in his suggestions. If we actually became a couple, this would definitely be one of our “forever restaurants” for future date nights.
****
The movie we chose for our first date’s main event was “The Notebook.” Movie dates were always a risky wager - a random work of fiction shouldn’t have such a big influence over whether you felt like you had a good date or a “bad” one. But on a still hot autumn night in Fort Worth, there simply weren’t many other options available. Well, without dampening your pits and ruining your Polo - something I playfully realized I wouldn’t mind seeing happen to Chris.
The movie captivated us, devastated us, and then left us both speechless as we shuffled out of the theater and back into the parking lot. We weren’t prepared for such an emotional rollercoaster. I mean, how could we ever live up to that kind of lifelong love, devotion, and unwavering commitment?
We awkwardly lingered outside the theater, not yet wanting to head our separate ways. After standing there, gazing into each other’s eyes, we finally kissed in the darkness - if only briefly. Yet it was a kiss that was charged with emotion. I swear it carried a glimpse of the same impassioned promise of devotion that we’d just witnessed on the big screen.
As I choked back my regret of knowing I’d have to leave Chris’ perfect embrace, I couldn’t keep from wondering if I’d just somehow met the love of my life. Sure, I knew we’d connected hard at the party last Saturday night, but unexpected moments like that are easy to mistake for something bigger. Only to be exposed as insanity after the initial dopamine rush died down and common-sense returned.
That’s why I was so thrilled, even a little relieved, with the night we’d just shared. Surviving an evening full of awkward restaurant experiences and an overly emotional movie, allowed us to not just get to know each other better; it somehow made it feel like we were already becoming a team. Working through awkward, flawed, yet endearing moments I felt we could happily remember forever.
I hadn’t even met his nine-year-old son yet, but I already found myself falling in love with Corey simply by feeling Chris’ adoration for him. I couldn’t wait to meet the little version of my man - hoping I’d be given that opportunity sometime soon.
Even after this perfectly imperfect bonding experience, I was still a bundle of nerves as we reluctantly started our goodbyes. Thankfully, with all of the AIM messages we’d been exchanging since Sunday, Chris must have gained the confidence I didn’t yet have. While I was fumbling for the right words to close our evening, he bypassed all my uncertainty. With a charming confidence, he casually asked if I’d like to spend Friday night at his house, as if it were the most natural and innocent question in the world.
Before I could gather my wits and give my preordained response, he added that Corey would be staying overnight at a friend’s house, leaving the evening for just us - alone. I didn’t hesitate any longer. I said “Yes!” before considering the ramifications.
As I drove back to my lonely apartment with a goofy grin on my face, I was already dreaming impossible dreams of a happy ever after that might really be coming true.
Chapter 13: Cleaning the Slates
It may have only been two days since our date, but waiting for Friday to come… they felt like the longest two days of my life. Chris and I had continued to AIM constantly. Exchanging messages that felt like little lifelines guiding us to a shared future. Each message from him chipped away at my self-doubt, forcing me to consider that I wasn’t being foolish for hoping that my impossible dreams might become real.
But damn! I still couldn’t completely shake my fear that we might still be riding an unrealistic high after our funny first dinner and watching such an overly emotional movie.
When Friday night finally arrived, my nerves had succeeded in winding my chest up tight and twisting my insides into knots. I stood in front of Chris’ house trying to somehow convince myself to knock on his door. Lord, what a door it was. I lived in a modest - though recently renovated - apartment along I-30 near Ridgmar; close enough to my office that I could walk to work. But what I found myself in front of tonight, was a mansion. On a street I never imagined I’d be allowed to drive down, let alone get invited to.
For a split second, I cowered. I even considered meekly returning to my car before Chris could answer my timid knock. As if fate were determined to block my escape, the door opened before my thoughts of fleeing could be acted on.
Suddenly… There he was, silhouetted by the light of the room behind him. His golden hair shimmering like a halo. He looked every bit as angelic as I’d remembered. Chris quickly cut through my stunned silence and greeted me with a genuine and inviting smile. I allowed that smile to calm my nerves as I felt the tightness in my chest loosen and my knots unravel. “Hey Ted, please come in.” I swore his simple statement felt more like a promise than just an invitation.
****
Unlike our more formal Wednesday date, tonight was for us alone. There was no trendy restaurant with an all-too-knowing staff and a disapproving maître d’. It was boldly just us. Each of us hoping that we could be content and happy just by being alone together.
It’s ironic, I’d always heard from my married coworkers that the single most dreaded question to threaten a happy relationship was, “What do you want for dinner tonight?” But with Chris, it didn’t feel like a tedious burden we’d have to carry with us forever. It felt essential, and somehow profound. Like we were being gifted a lifetime of shared decisions to make.
I chuckled at the memory. Yeah, so I was maybe a bit young and very smitten at the time. I swear I even understood my naivety as it was happening. But dayam, what a beautiful feeling it was back then.
I suggested pizza. Hey, I was a programmer; I knew how to get down to the necessities of food intake quickly. And of course, my new companion had the perfect provider in mind. Once again, I swear this was my city too, but the place he ordered from - somewhere on Lackland Road across from the golf course - was totally unknown to me. Once more, I realized that I should just trust Chris. Because hands down, it was the best pizza I’d ever had. Every bite left me pondering: what else could this stunning man show me about the world I thought I knew so well?
****
After dinner, it was inevitable that we’d eventually gravitate toward his pool. An inviting oasis no sane gay man could resist. I’d been practical enough to pack my toothbrush and a clean pair of undies for my stay-over, but I awkwardly confessed that I hadn’t brought any trunks with me. Chris’ wicked smirk told me that was the exact answer he’d been hoping for.
As elated as I initially was with his suggestion, there was nothing I could do to stop my life-long embarrassment from rearing its ugly head - with a vengeance. Even with all the muscles that my intense gym routines had given me, the one thing I’d always tried my best to hide, flatly refused to be enlarged with all the exercise in the world. So, as always, I couldn’t stop myself from nervously and regretfully hesitating about getting naked in front of someone new.
Seeing the Texas fantasy land that was Chris’ backyard for the first time didn’t help my situation at all. I once again felt that I didn’t deserve - let alone qualify - to be here. I’m sure I was giving Chris a spectacular deer-in-the-headlights look as I again felt a strong urge to just run away - much more quickly this time.
Chris immediately caught my unexpected - and absolute - trepidation and just as quickly pivoted our conversation. Though I doubt he understood the true reason for my hesitation, he instinctively sought to comfort me. “Hey Ted, I’m sorry.” He gestured at the house around us, “This amazing place - what I get to somehow call home for me and my son - I’m sure it probably looks… well, is pretentious too strong a word?”
In the short time I’d known him, the look he gave me had to be one of his most humble, maybe even apologetic and embarrassed. Before I could explain that my sudden explosion of nerves had nothing to do with his beautiful home, he pressed on. Clearly assuming his worst-case scenario.
“Ted, please believe me, none of this is what it seems,” he said, almost as if he felt compelled to force his confession before he lost his nerve. “Listen, I was my parents’ youngest child, and a few months before they unexpectedly passed away, they decided to leave this house to me. I swear I would have protested if I’d known.
“They just saw that I was about to become a divorced single father without a home for their grandson. So, I guess they thought I needed their help. Whether I thought I did or not. They changed their will at what turned out to be the very last moment. None of us had any idea they’d even done it.”
He glanced away showing even more awkwardness, “We also had no idea their will would be executed so quickly. Considering the timing, We’ve even wondered if dad knew something about his health that he never told us.”
He let a slow breath escape, as though he were trying to justify everything he was saying - to himself as much as to me. “I had several long talks with my brother and sister after everything happened. They assured me they were fine with our parents’ decision, and that they were happy in their own lives and homes. But still, damn. It felt so wrong to take over the house your parents built, especially when they built it while you were spending most of that time away at college.”
His eyes pensively came back to mine, hopeful and searching, as if he were preparing for me to judge him harshly while praying I wouldn’t. Finally, with a flash of brave honesty, he added, “And, well… having an incredibly misguided affair with a girl.”
He managed to solidify his gaze as he added, “Which I knew was ridiculous, because even then, I already knew liked big muscle boys most.”
****
I flushed, with panic in my eyes, realizing that I could no longer meet his gaze either. His reference to “big boys” hitting closer to the true reason for my hesitation than he could possibly know. My sudden flash of renewed shyness seemed to be even more misunderstood by Chris. His anguished look pleading for me to give him something else to confess to, to make this all this somehow be acceptable - and forgivable.
I swear, I had no clue how to respond to his heart-felt revelations, but I understood that he needed me to say something. Lost, I finally offered, “Chris, do I even qualify as a big muscle boy?” Feeling more awkward now than ever.
His reaction couldn’t have been more unguarded and unexpected. “Ted, I’m not going to address your ‘big muscle boy’ question until you answer the converse of it for me… Do I even qualify for this house?”
“Chris…” Shocked, I hesitated; my throat was suddenly dry. “There’s no way I can give you that answer.” Then I suddenly understood. All he was asking for, was my acceptance. I returned the same reassuring smile he gave me at the start our evening. And I was suddenly able to continue, “I just know that I’m falling in love with someone incredible - faster than I ever could have imagined. But yeah, believe me, I’m a little overwhelmed at everything your love might include.”
Whatever the expression on my face showed, it must have gotten through to him. His gaze turned into something I hadn’t seen before, a resigned look laced with a self-doubt I never would have expected from him. He once again took a breath to steady himself, before speaking like a man offering to peel back yet another layer of his shell.
“Ted, listen. You already know about Corey. But I think I should give you a little more history.” He must have seen the lack of judgement in my eyes as he continued, “So, I was always the quintessential ‘good son.’ When I realized I was gay, it didn’t upset me that I was, it devastated me because I knew I’d disappoint my parents. And that was something I’d never done before.
“Then I met Elizabeth and I swear she was the girl I imagined I was always supposed to end up with: tall, blonde, athletic, and ooooh so smart. I convinced myself that if I was with her, I wouldn’t ‘need’ to be gay. And, well, I decided to see if my body would go along with my verdict. Turns out, kissing always gets me going - with a guy or a girl - and yes, everything functioned as designed. Perfectly, actually.”
Chris blushed, not bragging but still confessing. “Um… several times.”
His tone shifted, growing somber again. “The worst part is I didn’t even think about using protection. I was too caught up in my amazement that a girl like ‘E-Beth’ wanted me, and that I was somehow able to make her happy.”
He looked into my eyes, pleading with me to see past his words. “Ted, I’d love to tell you it wasn’t just about my fragile ego. But if I’m being honest, that’s exactly what it was, right up until the day we found out she was pregnant. That’s when a switch flipped in my soul. Suddenly ‘father-genes’ I didn’t know I had kicked in. While I was absolutely terrified, I was also thrilled and completely overjoyed. Somehow, I wanted nothing more than to be the best father to our child that I could possibly be.”
I squeezed his hand, offering a smile to reassure him. “Chris, I miss my parents every day, but I swear I see the same love they had for me reflected in your eyes every time you talk about Corey. It’s why I can understand that you had no choice but to keep moving along your unexpected path. You weren’t faking any love; you were sincerely hoping to give it to your son.”
Startled by my statement, his eyes shifted to a deeper level before he pressed on. “You know, sometimes I think I never should’ve even given E-Beth a second look that night. But she really was beautiful… just like, well, like my Corey. And she was so genuinely kind and engaging. I couldn’t stop from being drawn in by everything she represented.”
His gaze managed to leave mine once more - allowing guilt to reemerge. His voice lowered, “After we were married, even as we were being perfect parents to our beautiful son. I eventually realized I couldn’t keep my secret forever. When I finally came out to her… she still stayed so loving, so considerate. She just looked at me as if she’d always known.”
I’m a big emotional hugger, and I decided it was time to wrap myself around Chris as he continued his confession. “Look, I don’t know how many gay husbands have ever been given the kind of gift I was, but Elizabeth did her best to make it as easy for me as she could. She tried to convince me that she’d always known. She even said she was honored that I’d been ‘so noble’ about continuing our marriage - if only for our son’s sake.”
I watched a single tear slide down his cheek. Something I already knew was a rare occurrence for him. “It’s funny,” he said softly, “while I was trying my best to fake my way through being Corey’s straight parent, what I wound up doing was falling head over heels in love with my son. My amazing, perfect boy. And somehow after E-Beth gave me permission to stop faking it, I was allowed to prove - to my son and to myself - that I was a competent and loving gay father.”
I couldn’t believe Chris was sharing this with me. I felt honored and a little nervous to be someone he already trusted so completely. And he kept going, as if he were freeing himself from a burden he’d spent too many years carrying. As if he were shedding an unnecessary weight before maybe starting a new life with me.
He continued, “Once again, E-Beth was my savior. When we agreed that divorce was our best choice, she never once tried to get custody. Please understand, she didn’t abandon her son. Like the perfect mother she’s always been, she gracefully accepted that Corey’s bond with me was what he needed most.”
Chris’s eyes flashed a worried look. “I don’t mean that Corey didn’t still need his mom. Just… that she knew I’d somehow been blessed with becoming his primary caregiver. And that he’d become the love of my life.”
He lowered his gaze one final time, looking more like a man interviewing for a role in forever than someone merely on a second date. Before I could think of what to say, he pushed on.
“I still can’t believe how it all turned out. Our sham of a marriage ended in a respectful, simple divorce; something I’ll always be grateful for. And when both of my parents died soon after… it was Corey who helped me through it.
"He’s my world. He’s sweet and so very good-natured.” I saw my new love’s smirk again, “But he’s also mischievous - almost like he just can’t help it - as if it’s an adorable, impish part of his DNA. He’s wicked smart but always kind. He’s got a body and a heart as big as Texas. He never teases smaller kids; he always protects them. Makes them feel important, even when a bully is trying to prove otherwise. I couldn’t have made it through everything without him.”
Chapter 14: Measuring Up
I hugged my new - okay, hopefully soon-to-be - boyfriend again as he finished his heartfelt revelation. I had nothing comparable to give. Fortunately, I didn’t feel like I was being asked to. Simply listening to Chris without judgment was exactly what he seemed to need.
His moment of raw honesty was nearly enough to make me forget my little insecurity that had accidentally triggered it all. Well, almost. But then we contemplated his pool and the awaiting hot tub once again. Instead of hesitating this time, I convinced myself that if Chris could bare so much of himself to me - on only our second date - I could be just as daring and bare myself to him in a completely different way.
As we stripped down in front of each other, I couldn’t help marveling at his body. If I ever had a urologist like him examining my external plumbing, I be throwing some very embarrassing iron pipe in about three seconds flat.
Before I could vocalize that thought into praise for him, he beat me to it.
“Damn, Ted. When Tom and Jeff told me they had a friend who was an absolutely beautiful muscle boy I’d somehow never met, I didn’t believe them. But Ted - you are stunning.” His smirk was back. That devastating little curve of his lips melted me, right before he finally gave me the kiss I’d been hoping for all night.
After we parted, I let a little laugh escape, betraying my mix of pride at his appraisal and my own disbelief at our situation. “Hey, my tall, beautiful man, I thought pretty much the exact same thing. I couldn’t believe there was a big blond guy I’d somehow missed meeting all these years. And yet, the moment I walked through Jeff and Tom’s door and saw you standing there, I knew I somehow had, and I was grateful they’d been able to correct my mistake.”
But my new-found courage faltered. I dropped my eyes, unable to hold his gaze. “Chris, I’m afraid you’ve just seen all my best parts. Once I lose my briefs, it’s… kind of a little letdown from here.”
Chris didn’t even blink. He only pulled me into his taller frame and kissed me with a passion that made my knees nearly buckle. “Ted, you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. And I can already feel how kind, loving, and sincere you are. All of your magnificent muscles and fur are simply a bonus. Why would you ever think you needed to worry about a part of your body you have no control over?”
His tone softened, and he gave me something unexpected, something that hit me right in the heart. “Teddy…” I blinked, startled at his sudden nickname for me. I’d never let anyone call me that before, but coming from him it felt perfect. “There’s a so-called rule that only guys with big dicks get to declare that size doesn’t matter. That somehow only they get to say that they’re happy with any size. But please believe me, I really don’t care about size.”
That broke my tension and my sass suddenly came roaring back. My eyes twinkled, “So… are you admitting you have a big dick?”
Chris burst out laughing, a full-bodied, belly laugh, seconds before turning my tease right back at me. “Wait, wait! So, are you saying you’re a size queen?”
“Absolutely not!” I laughed with him. The tension I had been feeling was all but gone. “I just always expect everyone I meet to have a bigger dick than me. So, it’s kinda nice to meet a guy who probably does - and yet still tries to make me feel like being a little guy is more than enough.”
My grin widened under his acceptance, “So, Chris, do we pull our undies off together on the count of three, or do we keep the mystery alive a little longer and just grope each other for a while before leaving nothing to our imaginations?”
I swear Chris actually growled - low and seductively - before once again pulling me into his embrace and brazenly cupping my clothed package with his huge hand. There wasn’t a flicker of judgment in his touch. If anything, the heat of his embrace made me feel more accepted than I’d felt in a very long time.
I mirrored his actions, but quickly froze - with a look of amazement on my face. “Chris, uh, I, um, I don’t compare. I’m sorry, but well… dayam.”
His response was immediate and unwavering. He gave me the most accepting look I’d ever been the subject of. He never even paused. He slipped his hand under the waistband of my briefs and I felt his warm palm gently cradle my balls before stroking my short shaft with deliberate care. “Teddy,” he said, tightening his grip just slightly, “this is every bit as perfect as you are - your big heart, all of your sexy fur, your muscles. All of it. All of you.”
I melted into his embrace. I tried to match his actions, to show him the same care, but neither my fingers nor my mind could quite wrap around the sheer size of what I was holding. Chris didn’t flinch. Instead, he eased my briefs all the way down my thighs and stepped back, allowing his eyes to roam over his prize. Those eyes took me in - my furry pecs, my chestnut bush, my proud little soldier - with a sincere admiration that made me feel both more naked… and, somehow, more confident than I’d ever felt before.
“Teddy, you’re as perfect as you are wonderful. All of you,” Chris said softly. “I can’t believe how lucky I’ve suddenly become. Please forgive me, I know this probably isn’t the most appropriate time to say it for the first time, but Ted… I think - no, I know - I love you.
I blushed, an unexpected warmth surged throughout my whole body as he continued, “I have no explanation why I feel so certain so quickly, and I do know that this must seem way too impulsive to believe. But I swear, my sweet, sweet man, I need you to make love to me tonight and I want you to meet my son tomorrow.”
He held my gaze as he clarified those wishes. “Teddy, will you make me yours tonight, and then hold me while we sleep; be there when I wake; and meet my son when he comes home in the morning?”
I chuckled through my happy tears. Crying on a second date hadn’t exactly been on my bingo card. But here I was, only able to nod my head as I reached for his waistband and slowly eased his briefs down over his furry blond quads. “Damn, Christopher! I’m so glad you gave me your little reassuring speech before I took your over-worked tighty-whities off. Geeze! How did they - or your wife - manage to handle that?
Chris just smirked - that devastating look that I was quickly learning to love - before he boldly stated, “The same way you will, whenever you’re ready. You only need to let me know. Trust me, I’m a doctor and I know how to comfort my patient.”
Damn that smirk! Where does he even get them from? I could only nod again as we finally slipped into the bubbling water.
****
I tried my best to trap Chris in my gaze as we cuddled in the steaming bubbling water. I found myself blurting out another confession. “I swear, I’m usually bottom because of my size.” I let out an embarrassed chuckle. “All of my sizes - my big furry muscles, my big bubble butt, and, well… my little guy.”
I forced my eyes to stay locked with his, with no hint of apology in my look. “I’m just saying, you should know that my butt usually rules my world, but Christopher, right now, I’d be honored to be your top tonight. Are you sure?
He answered without hesitation. “Ah, my Teddy boy, you should know that I’m almost always a total top. At least, until I meet someone who I want to be with forever.”
I blinked at both the immediate opportunity he was giving me and at the weight of what he was really offering me. “So… how often do you bottom?”
Chris’ grin was wicked. “Well, Teddy, you won’t be my first… but you’ll only be my second. Believe it or not, my first was a police officer who was too scared about jeopardizing his career to commit to the level I needed. I can give you the full story, say… after our tenth anniversary party. Are you okay waiting that long?”
My goofy grin made its appearance as I snickered. “Oh, my Lord! Absolutely.” We relaxed, allowing our bodies to float under the water’s bubbling surface - exploring each other with our hands. Most importantly, we simply held on tight, making the most of our honest, naked connection under the Texas stars.
Chapter 15: When a Forever Begins
We realized with a frustrated giggle that while a hot tub may by the perfect place for our new connection to begin, it was an awkward place for it to fully bloom. Certain parts of the body like to stay tightly closed when they’re under water. And it seemed that those same parts were also already too overstimulated with all the bubbles they were enjoying. Almost as if they didn’t even need our fingers to make them any happier.
Still, because our current situation felt so absolutely perfect, we chose to ignore our uncooperative backsides and refocus our attention on our embrace and devouring each other’s lips. Letting the world outside our hot tub paradise fade away.
Eventually fearing we were getting a little too pruned, we decided to leave our bubbling baptismal pool. We toweled each other dry while continuing our passionate kisses as we stumbled our way back through the grand house and into Chris’ bedroom. Or maybe his den would be a better word, because that’s exactly how it felt: safe, warm, and protected.
In the room’s soft lamplight, we stood there, both naked, both hard, both now completely unguarded. We faced one another like mirrors, each trying to memorize the other’s bared souls as completely as we were our physical bodies. Two lonely and injured souls hoping - daring - to start a newfound forever tonight.
All of my remaining insecurities simply melted away. I could sense Chris’ doubts about his own situation fade as well. We were both finally just us.
My not as big as I’d always wanted manhood stood proudly, representing itself in a newfound brotherhood beside his maybe a bit bigger than he ever wanted one. The symmetry of our shared “size vs insecurity” worries, gave me a strength I didn’t know I had. Against all odds, we were somehow a perfect match. And in my finally worry-freed brain, it all simply came down to the realization that I was going to be the first to consecrate our future.
I was so nervous, maybe even a bit terrified, as I considered the honor being granted me. As always, my little guy wasn’t about to let me down. Even with all my self-doubt, he was always my dependable and eager steel spike. Chris took me into his arms and our cocks were allowed to sword fight against our furry groins for the first time.
As I glanced down at our mock battle, I marveled that for a doctor, Chris’ abs were nearly as defined as mine. I didn’t feel the need to mention my observation before we resumed a more tender and loving kiss. Allowing my latest round of nerves to settle; allowing me to simply enjoy the wonder that Chris was about to share with me.
****
I felt it was time to break our kiss. Before Chris could protest, I gripped his hips in my hands and gently but firmly turned him around to face his bed. I hugged him from behind - savoring the feel of our bodies fitting together - slowly figuring out how to start our most intimate first dance. My hardon pressed it way between his furry thighs while I kissed across his shoulders.
Stepping back, those same kisses began tracing their way down the sensual curve of his spine until I reached his cute little blond furry patch fanning out from just above his muscled, equally furry cheeks. I paused - just long enough to appreciate the beauty of this man who was somehow gifting himself to me. I allowed my lips to continue their journey downward. I gave each of his perfect globes a long kiss before gently urging my new love to move to his bed.
He suddenly turned his head toward mine and I quickly rose up to give him one final kiss before he crawled onto the bed, chest down, hips up - with his legs invitingly spread wide. Surrendering his furry hole into my trust. I couldn’t hold back any longer and joyfully followed behind him.
I decided the first thing I needed to do was allow my cock to befriend his furry crack, while letting my body weight settle on his back to make him feel safe and protected - as I nibbled the sides of his neck. His moans and the motion of his hips - humping back to meet my cock, forcing it to rub across his hole - told me I’d made the right first move.
I allowed my chest to rise up from his back while keeping my pubes firmly pressed against his cheeks. I suddenly felt the need to massage his shoulders with my right hand to reassure and relax my mate. I was quickly rewarded with more moans and a few contented sighs.
I decided to get more serious with my efforts and rose up even further into a sitting position over his waist. Allowing me to use both hands to knead his massive shoulders and lats - wanting to do anything I could do to make my man feel loved and comforted.
Still, I didn’t want Chris to get too relaxed, that’s not the dance we were performing tonight. I scooted my lap down even lower - to his thighs. My hands found his furry glutes as my hard little spike earnestly pointed the way to its intended target.
I was now able to part those perfect mounds and expose his sweet little pink hole, perfectly framed by all of his thick blond fur. Damn, I was practically drooling. I held his cleft open with two fingers from my left hand as I teased his hole with a spit wet finger from my right.
Chris moaned, “Damn Teddy! You just did my favorite kinky doctor move. I love the feeling of two fingers gently spreading my cheeks apart to expose my hole.” He let a shiver escape before adding, “I swear you already understand me Teddy!” Luckily, his face was still happily buried in a pillow, so he couldn’t see my sudden blush and renewed goofy grin. Hey, at least my new love could keep thinking I actually knew what the heck I was doing.
While I may not have had everything planned out, I did know what my next move had to be. I quickly scooted even further down his legs and allowed my beard to lower into Chris’ furry promised land. As my tongue found its target, I was a little disappointed to find that Chris’ natural musk had been replaced by the hot tub’s scent of chlorine. I almost let a disappointed sigh escape. I was shocked at my realization of how much I needed to know the scent of my man.
I made sure not to allow any disappointment show as I dove in for my second meal of the evening. Chris let a surprised gasp escape. “Teddy! Are you sure you’re usually a bottom?”
I came up from my feast just long enough to reply, “Hey, all bottoms know how to show their tops exactly what they want - well, if they’re ever given the chance to do so. I’m happy you like it. Believe me, you have the most beautiful furry crack I’ve ever seen. I swear I could easily become way more vers if you ever wanted me to. You’re amazing Chris.”
Chris turned his head to me, giving a wicked smirk that let me know he was pleased with my confession, “Hey, muscle boy! Head back down! Back to work!” I chuckled and slapped his furry cheeks before resuming my new favorite duty. Chris growled again.
I definitely needed to remember to ask him about all of these growls later. Until then, I simply enjoyed invoking them and assumed that they were a very good thing.
****
As my tongue and fingers continued working their magic to release more of those amazing growls from my beast, it was time to break our spell and finally have the conversation we should discussed long before we ever got so carried away in our mutual desire.
I started sheepishly, “Chris, I swear. I honestly didn’t expect we’d be doing anything like this tonight. I’m sorry. I didn’t bring any condoms. Damn I’m an idiot.” Chris rolled over, his big boy still standing tall and proud - now covered with a slick, shiny sheen of precum. It seemed that I had definitely made my man happy.
I noticed his look but I couldn’t quite decode it. I sensed that there was conflict but also a desire, almost bordering on desperation. I wasn’t sure where this was going. And I allowed my look say exactly that.
He saved me from any continued awkwardness, “Ted, I’m a doctor and I’m a top. I also haven’t had sex in - well, please don’t laugh - over a year.” I didn’t come close to giving a smirk, I only allowed him to continue, “Even with that pathetic statistic, I still get tested once a quarter. Believe me, I know my status.”
He unexpectedly gave me the most piercing look I’d ever received, “What about you?”
I blinked, at least twice, at what his question was implying. I stuttered, realizing that we were about to breach the most taboo topic two gay men could ever contemplate. “Um, wow. I, well, I was just tested last month and, I’m not as much of a Rambo bottom as I guess it looks like I should be.” I offered a terrified chuckle. Trying my best, and failing, to lower the sudden tension in the room.
I continued, “Seriously, I outgrew my slut stage about five years ago. I mean, it was a great time, but also very tiring - and even more unfulfilling. So, Chris, I’m negative and there’s absolutely no chance that my status has changed in the last four weeks. I swear.” I hoped my sincerity had landed.
I felt I needed to continue making my point, “But this is big. This is really big. This is us trusting each other, literally with our lives. After only three days of being together in this relationship we’re somehow building… Are you sure we want to do this?” Chris’ honest and approving look melted my heart while still keeping my cock ready and willing.
Then he let another one of those damn devastating smirks of his loose. “Teddy, I have condoms, but please don’t be upset - my love - I seriously doubt that they’d work for our chosen positions.”
Normally, that simple statement would have ripped my heart out and made me rush back to my apartment in shame - leaving me cocooning and fretting over my insecurities for days. But that’s not how it felt with Chris. With him, it was somehow something completely different. There was no cutting insult in his tone, no degradation, just a playful feeling of… a loving connection? I couldn’t stop my inappropriate fit of giggles that quickly infected us both.
As our laughter slowly subsided and the seriousness of what we were contemplating returned, I found myself trapped in his gaze once again. I felt completely open, completely trusted, and completely understood.
Chris gently continued, “Ted, I know this is crazy, but I feel like this is really our forever. Please tell me, have you ever felt this way about anyone else before?”
I shook my head, momentarily speechless at his sincerity and at what I imagined he was about to propose. I tried to regain my composure, “No Chris, I’ve never spent an entire night at a party telling a total stranger every detail of my life and listening to theirs in return. And no, I’ve never felt so elated, so excited - so definite - about anyone else before.
“I don’t know what this is. But I do know that somehow, as unreal as it sounds, I think - wait, no, I know I love you too. And I absolutely trust you. But you’re the one who’s in the most, well, danger right now.”
He playfully tilted his head, “Teddy, would you ever lie to me?”
I easily beamed back before giving my immediate response, “No Chris, never.”
Chris returned my joy, “Then let’s do this - with no fear, no worries - only with certainty and, well, love. We good?”
I nearly stumbled again before being able to reply, “Yes! Um, but we should still use lube, right?”
****
My little guy’s performance was the most impressive he’d ever given. I couldn’t believe it was really me doing everything I’d just done with my new lover.
Fucking without a condom was a joy I hadn’t experienced since high school with my “straight” fuck buddy. Remember, it was all don’t ask, don’t tell back then. He’s a married man now - with two kids. Sadly, neither were mine, but I swear I tried.
Now back to us… after lots of unbridled playful experimentation, we found a position that put my little guy in direct contact with his touch-starved prostate. I’m not bragging, but my earnestness was more than enough to make up for any perceived lack of length. I soon gave my man his first hands free orgasm.
I really did. Believe me, Chris was equally stunned. “Teddy, you just set the bar really high my man. Trust me, I can’t wait to repay you. I swear, I’ve had to deal with this monster all my life. I promise I know how to be gentle and make sure that you’ll feel as incredible as you just made me.”
I contentedly - tenderly - smiled at his final insecurity and simply nodded as my big, tall man snuggled back into my arms while we drifted off to sleep. Blissfully settling into our first night of being allowed to comfort each other as we slept… Of knowing that we’d get to be there for each other in the morning.
But then it hit me, and my eyes suddenly shot open wide… Lord! I have to meet Corey in the morning! What if he doesn’t like me?
** Back to Now **
My sudden reflective chuckle once again pulled Chris’s attention away from his Kindle. He lowered it, thoughtfully smiling as he caught my eyes, “What did I miss this time, Teddy? Another San Francisco wedding location on the screen?”
I didn’t try to curb my grin or even attempt to explain my long train of thought. Instead, I decided to just blurt out my non sequitur. “Chris, how did you know Corey would love me as much, and as quickly, as you did?”
If Chris wore readers, I know he would’ve started dramatically lowering them down his nose to give my question the serious look he thought it deserved. “What on earth have you been thinking about, my sweet muscle boy?” His head tilted, letting me know I’d managed to get his full attention again.
“Oh, nothing,” I replied coyly. “At least, nothing more than our first date… and well, our first night together.”
I leaned over and kissed the corner of his bemused smile before continuing. “As amazing and perfect as that night was, I was terrified that the new love I’d somehow suddenly found, could vanish just as quickly - depending on whether Corey accepted me in the morning.”
I blushed at the memory. “But when he just rushed into my arms - without any encouragement from you - and gave me the sweetest hug I’d ever had, only seconds after you introduced us… I knew my world had changed forever. I was suddenly faced with a whole new kind of love; one I’d never known before. One I’d never expected to ever be allowed to have.” I smiled through the memory. “Believe me, sweet-sweet, even now it still humbles me.”
Chris pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead again. “My Teddy bear,” he murmured, “just remember, like you, our Corey’s one of the most empathetic souls I’ve ever known. That’s how he instantly knew that our Ollie needed him… and it’s how he knew exactly how much we needed each other too.
“He loved you because he could see how much we loved and needed each other. And it’s that love that made him feel safe and happy.
“Let’s face it,” Chris said with a proud smile, “our two sons are maybe even more meant for each other than we were.” His tone shifted, moving from wistful to deeply fatherly. “But, we both know that no couple gets to be happy every day. Corey and Ollie will have rough patches. Who knows? Ollie might even wind up sleeping back in Corey’s old room again after a bad fight or two.”
He drew a thoughtful breath. “I’m sure they feel their love could never break. But I want them to know that we’ll always have their backs. Even if their love only cracks a little. We’ll be there to remind them that a love as strong as theirs - as strong as ours - always survives.
“That kind of support is something we never got from our parents.” He met my eyes with a quiet promise. “So, Teddy, I swear, we’re going to give it to our sons for the rest of our lives.”
He allowed the weight of his words to linger a few seconds before his playful glint returned. “Hey, Teddy… how ‘bout we go re-live our first night together? But, well, I still don’t have any condoms that would fit you,” he teased, flashing the smirk I’d fallen in love with twenty-one years ago.
I laughed as I rose from the couch. “Oh, so you need proof again, my big tall man? Humm? That my ‘little guy’ can still rock your world harder than any ‘big guy’ ever could?”
“Exactly that,” he said with sparkling eyes.
My goofy grin was unstoppable as I took his hand. Our empty nest was quiet, the night softly settling around us. As we disappeared down the hallway to our bedroom, the Texas stars shimmered above. The same stars that had watched over us the night our forever began. The same ones that were waiting to shine on our boys as they started theirs.
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