Welcome to the final chapters of Ollie's Paradise. When I started writing this beast, I had no idea it would take nine whole months to finish it. Thank you all for staying with me, Ollie, and his family. I hope you enjoy the ending of Ollie's story. I'm not gonna lie - I'm crying as I type this.
Go Time and Time Again
As our latest Go Time grew near, I finally broke down and admitted the fear that had been quietly circling around in my brain for days.
“Corey, I’m sorry. I know this sounds stupid, but I’m more than a little nervous about making my donation.”
I looked into his sky blues for support. “I just think it’s going to feel way too weird to jac-” I stopped myself and swallowed. “Er… masturbate into a petri dish in a fertility clinic’s collection room.” I tried to laugh, but it came out a little too thin. “Seriously, Corey, what if I can’t perform?”
Corey tried his best not to chuckle, and I could see the effort it took. But somehow, my wolf managed to keep his expression completely sweet and supportive.
“Ollie,” he said gently, “you do realize that Dad and I kind of work in a state-of-the-art urology clinic, right? And one of the big things guys come to us for is fertility.” His mouth twitched. “Well, fertility and ED issues.”
I blinked despite myself.
“Our clinic is perfectly set up for what we need to do,” he continued. “We don’t have to go make our donations at Anna’s clinic. We can use ours instead. I mean, come on, pup, we both kinda know the doctor in charge. Like, really well.” His smile softened into something beautiful. “And considering we’re pretty much helping make that doctor become a granddad of sorts, I think he’ll be happy to let us use the facilities however we want.”
“Listen,” Corey continued, shifting just enough into my favorite nurse-mode to steady my fears, “clinically, all we have to do is make sure we don’t use any lube or let saliva get anywhere near our samples. Otherwise, like Dr. Bradley said, we can go into one of our clinic’s rooms and make our donations together. Separate collection vials. Same room. Same Go Time.”
His smile then turned a lot more dangerous.
“We can even help each other out. I mean, come on, pup… remember how I helped you out after our very first early-morning test?”
I felt the heat rise up my neck seconds before it started turning my cheeks and ears bright crimson.
“Um, yeah,” I managed. “Now that you mention it, I do kind of remember that.”
Then, because apparently terror and arousal lived way too close together in my ridiculous brain, I couldn’t contain a sudden, sultry grin.
“So…” I leaned closer, letting my hand make one very bold promise through his bulging shorts as I unabashedly flashed our family smirk at him. “Could we maybe go, um… like right now? It feels like you’re more than ready.”
Corey’s surprised laugh was full of love, with an equal amount of excitement fighting to get loose.
“Lurd, pup, don’t I wish.” He finally caught my hand before either of us could forget our actual mission. “But I’ve got some bad news to give you before we get too excited about our assignment right now.” His expression turned so dramatically solemn that I immediately knew I was in trouble. “You might even want to sit down for this one, pup. I mean it, Ollie. This is gonna be a tough thing to hear.”
I was way too deep into my unexpected excitement to play along with Corey’s mock seriousness. So instead, I jokingly pumped my fist in the air again and jutted out my blond, recently re-bearded chin with an unbridled boldness.
“Don’t worry, my wolf! We’ve been through way worse. Just rip the Band-Aid off quickly. I know we’ve got each other through this adversity - whatever it may be.”
Corey maintained his caring, dare I say even fatherly, expression.
“Okay, my overly enthusiastic husband. I promise I’ll reserve a room for us on Monday morning - just early enough for us to complete our assignment with a little flair before the real patients arrive.”
His serious expression wavered just a little.
“After we, er, produce our donations, I’ll go ahead and start my normal day, and you can quickly transport our DNA to Anna’s clinic. It’s not that far away, and you’ll have at least an hour to get there before our samples become unusable.”
That news was nowhere nearly as bad as what I’d been bracing for.
“I’m confused. That doesn’t sound like bad news at all.” My mind was already racing ahead in an entirely wrong direction. “I’m even thinking I’ll wear the same outfit I wore when we first met. And I’m sure you’ll be in your scrubs, complete with my favorite blue jock underneath.”
My eyes suddenly sparkled.
“This is going to be some awesome early-morning fun!”
Corey knowingly shook his head. “Not so fast, pup. Monday is four days from now. And guess what?”
I felt my happy face begin its tragic collapse.
“Um… I’m sensing you’re about to finally start tugging at that Band-Aid.”
I knew it.
Corey placed a hand over his face in the same mock shame I’d gotten to know oh so well. “Sure am. Here goes…” He drew in a solemn breath. “Ollie, we can’t have sex or even masturbate until after our planned fun morning at the clinic.”
I’m sure I gave Corey yet another deer-in-the-headlights look.
“Oh wow.” I blinked at him, wounded by science itself. “You could have maybe warned me about that a little more seriously, my older and wiser gay mentor. Dang.”
Then I managed a little wink, because even in my darkest hour, I was still just me.
“Um, it’s been a while. What did you call that dangerous condition I almost had to face last year? DBS? SRT?”
“It’s DSB, my poor Ollie pup. Remember? Deadly Sperm Buildup. A dangerous condition that can easily lead to SRH - the devastating disorder officially known as Sperm Retention Headache.”
He trapped me in his loving gaze, as only he could, while gently cupping my cheek. Our lips met in a deep, lingering kiss before he pulled back just enough to keep playing.
“I think we’ll survive, pup. But you know nothing’s ever certain.” His thumb brushed softly along my cheek. “Are you sure you’re willing to risk your well-being with me? You know… to ensure our new family’s future?”
Before I could give the only answer I ever would have given him, Corey glanced over to our always-inquisitive real pup.
“On a fluffy-brained positive note, Riley will have four whole days - including an entire weekend - of never having to leave our room because of our daddy time interrupting his chaste slumber.”
I looked into my wolf’s twinkling sky-blue eyes and not-so-innocently asked, “But we can still at least kiss until then, right?”
Corey finally let his full-on smirk loose just before his lips met mine again.
We both understood what was really happening beneath all our joking. We were going to be fathers - at least in a way - and we were beyond exhilarated. Our celebratory kiss consumed us both.
Well, at least until we realized we were getting recklessly close to exacerbating our risk of contracting the dreaded DSB.
****
As we entered the building that housed Corey’s clinic, way too early in the morning, way too many memories came flooding back all at once.
Those memories forced me to accept a strange and almost impossible truth: not so long ago, I was on my own. That there really had been a time before I knew my caring husband even existed. Before I ever had the loving guidance of our dads. Before I even had my sweet Riley. Before I had this wonderful life.
And honestly, before I could believe that I even had much of a life left to live.
Corey seemed to feel it too. Or maybe he simply felt me.
He took the lead, “Hey, pup,” he said gently as we walked through the clinic’s front door. “Isn’t this exactly how we met?”
I looked over at him and saw something important shining in his eyes. Not teasing. At least not yet. Instead, it was something so much softer. Something almost reverent.
“Seems like we’ve come full circle, Ollie” he continued. “Just sit down and give me a few minutes…”
As I sat there, I tried my best to focus on the miracle that had happened since that dark time. The terrified boy who had once sat alone in a similar waiting room, believing his body had betrayed him and his life had fallen apart, had somehow become me - Ollie Rainer, loved, married, claimed, and about to help create a new family.
Then the door opened.
And once again, I was given the miracle of watching my Norse god walk into my waiting room wearing his scrubs, looking every bit as beautiful and confident as he had so many months ago.
His eyes caught mine as he called out:
“Oliver Carson…”
I jumped up from my seat.
“Um, hi, sir… I prefer Ollie. And, well…” I felt my smile start before I could stop it. “It’s kind of Rainer now, not Carson.”
Corey’s face broke before his act could survive another second. He took me into his arms and gave me what absolutely felt like another first kiss - one that seemed so impossible because it was happening in a place where we’d already passed our test, but were boldly coming back for a brand-new challenge.
When he pulled back, his proud smile triggered my first blush of the morning.
“Thank you for letting me know that you prefer Ollie and Rainer.” His eyes shone with everything that he didn’t need to say out loud. “Please follow me back to our room. This is going to be a simple procedure and hopefully one that’s not going to be over too quickly.”
Back in April of last year, seeing a smirk like the one Corey was currently showing would have probably scared me to death. Back then, I wouldn’t have known what to do with that much confidence, that much kindness, or that much beautiful man looking directly at me with desire.
But right now?
Right now, it had already made little Ollie start rising to the occasion he was here for.
Like the puppy I had always kind of imagined myself being, I faithfully followed my alpha down the hall to our room.
And this time, the room wasn’t a chamber of horrors. There was no chair-table of bizarre medical experiments. No wall of hanging catheters and dildos on cords. And most importantly, no toilet sitting out all exposed in the middle of the room.
This time, it was only me and my love in a private room with a chair, a stool, and another always-present exam table.
Still, Corey decided to return to character.
“Okay, Ollie,” he said, somehow managing to sound almost professionally serious, “for this morning’s exam, you’re going to have to strip down even past your underwear. And unfortunately, we seem to be out of clean exam gowns at the moment. Is that going to make you feel too uncomfortable?”
I somehow managed to conquer my chuckles, if only because of how deadpan serious my wolf was playing his part.
And because of how excited it was making me.
This wasn’t just bad acting. Not really. Somehow, beneath all the cheesiness, it was absolutely real and wonderful.
“Um… no, sir. I’m fine being naked. But I’m really sorry about this… I should probably warn you.” I swallowed, letting myself fall into the game. “I swear I try my best not to, but… well, I kinda get really excited every time I have to take my clothes off for a medical exam. My old doctor just blew it off because he knew I couldn’t help it, but I’m twenty-one now, and it still happens.” I looked up at him, trying my best to appear adorably helpless. “Will that make you feel too uncomfortable?”
Corey somehow stayed in character.
“Oliver, I’m a nurse. I’ve seen lots of guys naked, and more of them than you’d ever imagine end up getting a little too excited simply from being exposed. It’s almost like they’re powerless to prevent it.” His voice softened just enough to turn the joke into something kinder - truly real. “All I can do is assure them - and you - that it’s completely normal. It’s nothing they, or you, should ever be embarrassed about.”
He paused, his eyes holding mine.
“Now… Please tell me that you’ll be okay with it?”
I chuckled at his cheesy reassurance, even as I found myself playing along just as eagerly.
I removed my shorts, Polo, and undershirt before turning to my nurse and continuing our fun little act, “I’m sorry sir, you’re right. I really just can’t seem to help it.” I glanced down at my bulging situation, “It really looks like my tighty-whities are a little overly tighty this morning.”
Corey moved up to me from across the room, practically forcing me back onto the exam table. “My poor boy, this is way worse than I’d ever feared, we’ve got to get you out of that dangerously constrictive underwear fast. This is serious.”
That was it, that was line that crossed both our limits. We burst out laughing as Corey’s lips gently met mine, trying to give me the kiss we deserved through the chuckles neither of us could stop. “I swear I tried so hard Ollie. But yeah, those last lines were maybe the cheesiest things we’ve ever said.”
I managed to calm myself enough to barely give my wolf a soft smile, “Corey, that was the most fun we’ve had before something this serious since our shower the morning we had to confront Richard.”
I had to quickly continue on before possibly ruining the moment, “Believe me, it doesn’t matter how goofy we accidentally got, because this tent in my briefs isn’t just me playing along. You somehow managed to totally nail it. And believe me, we’re going to spend our next few years together perfecting this whole role-play scenario. Damn! You got me buddy. Now, get that petri dish out here and let’s finish our job!”
Corey smiled and almost blushed, “You realize it’s not really a petri dish - right? It’s more of an…”
I rushed to kiss him again before he could give any more unnecessary explanation. I simply moved his hand to my straining briefs as I laid back on the table and let his magic fingers coax the very important sample out of me and into the collection vial. After he finished my task, I was more than happy to return the favor for his.
My only regret was when he finally had to stop our continued kisses to remind me that I now had less than an hour to get our donations over to Anna’s clinic.
Thankfully, Corey noticed my little expression of regret and assured me that he was still more than keyed-up enough to continue our fun as soon as he got home tonight. All I had to do was make sure I was ready and willing when he walked through our door. I knew I’d have no problem living up to my end of our agreement.
But first, back to the most important task at hand - I made sure our donations were safely delivered to Anna’s clinic well within the given time limit. And now all the four of us could do was wait to hear how the most clinical part of our promise had gone.
Chapter 64: Fragile Little Bubble of Joy
The couple of days between our fun at the clinic and this morning felt longer than our entire honeymoon. Even worse, and adding to my embarrassment-enhanced stress level, Corey and I somehow managed to arrive several minutes late for our first appointment with Dr. Bradley after making our very successful joint donations.
I was fully prepared to deliver a sincere apology. Maybe even an overly detailed one, because apparently that was the first thing I’d carried over from my old life and into becoming a responsible almost-father-adjacent adult.
But we quickly discovered that no apology was necessary.
Anna and Kevin were already waiting for us in the room, and they were both absolutely beaming.
Kevin’s face held a boyish look of wonder I had rarely seen there before. Officer Kevin was gone for the moment. So was even hopeful Detective Kevin. The strong, steady man who had protected me, rescued me, and helped hold all of us together had somehow been replaced by someone softer, gentler, and almost glowing.
Daddy Kevin.
He couldn’t keep the good news inside for another second.
“Ollie, Corey! We have six perfect embryos. They tested them, and every single one is viable and strong.”
My breath caught before I could stop it.
Six!
Six tiny chances. Six impossible futures. Six little hopeful-lives that had somehow come from Anna, from one of us, and from a promise we’d made while Painkillers had calmed our nerves and island winds had pushed our sails through paradise.
Our Kevin seemed almost too overwhelmed to continue, so he let Dr. Bradley take over for a second.
“As you requested,” our doctor explained gently, “we haven’t disclosed which donor fertilized which eggs. But we have told Anna and Kevin that you have four boys and two girls.”
Daddy Kevin was able to regain his composure before Dr. Bradley could say anything else.
“Guys, Anna and I talked it over while we were waiting for y’all.” His eyes were wet, but his smile never wavered. “We really want to have a little girl.”
Anna gave us a knowing look. “You know we’ll never forget the rest of the promise we made on St. John. Are you two okay with our choice?”
Corey and I glanced at each other, and somehow, we both already knew our answer. Of course we were. We nodded in gleeful understanding. We were going to be uncles to a sweet little girl.
One Kevin quickly promised would never be named Corrina, even if she had straight blond hair.
****
We were pregnant.
Well, at least the most important member of our suddenly very real family was.
Nearly two months in, everything was going smoother than we’d ever dared hope. It was a late-September Thursday, and we were firming up plans for one of the final pool weekends of the season. Our continued excitement had made the summer weeks fly by in a blur of doctor updates, group texts, heated baby-name debates, and a hope none of us had quite been brave enough to fully trust - at least at first.
Equally important - at least according to Riley’s newest and most dramatic betrayal concerns - this weekend would be the first time we all got to meet Ethan and Daniel’s new family member: their cute little chocolate Labrador pup, Tucker. Despite Riley’s dramatic huffs at our every mention of a new puppy, we all knew he would fall in love with his new cousin before the rest of us even had a chance to boop his nose.
I didn’t have any classes until the afternoon, so I had just started my drive to the gym to train my back-to-back early-morning clients. Corey was about to head to his clinic for the day.
Everything about the morning was happy and perfect - until Kevin called me.
For some reason, that was the detail my brain latched onto before I even answered. Kevin was calling me. Not Corey. Not texting the group chat. Me.
He got no further than one broken, sobbing word.
“Ollie…”
Hearing my name spoken like that gutted me. Somehow, I just knew there wasn’t going to be any good way for him to explain what had happened. So I did the only thing I could think of - I relieved him of even having to try.
“Hey, listen - it’s okay. Where do we need to meet you, Kevin?” I forced the words out, even as my hand tightened around the phone. “Don’t worry about us. Just be there for Anna right now. I’ll call Corey, and we’ll get to you both as fast as we can.”
By the time I ended the call, my iPhone might as well have been some bizarre piece of unknown technology.
I suddenly found that I had no idea how to use it.
****
Somehow, Corey and I managed to make it to the ER at almost the same time. Panic and dread were visible on both our faces as our friend Paul quickly directed us toward Anna’s room. We were greeted by something neither of us ever wanted to see: Kevin sitting beside his wife, somberly staring down at his big hands - knowing this was a situation they couldn’t help him fix.
As the reality settled over me and Corey, it didn’t matter how many times we’d been warned about the unthinkable possibility we were now living through. None of us were prepared to accept the truth that our happy little bubble of joy had always been so much more fragile than we’d allowed ourselves to believe. The three of us guys could only gather around our Anna, numb and helpless, listening as the world we’d been building so carefully became something we suddenly had to endure instead of celebrate.
There were no dry eyes in the room as Dr. Bradley did his professional best to reassure us that this was just something that sometimes happened. It didn’t mean we had done anything wrong. It didn’t mean that Anna’s body had done anything wrong. It didn’t mean that the hope we’d all carried so carefully had been foolish or naïve.
He also reassured us that there was nothing we needed to worry about going forward, nothing we needed to do differently the next time - if we chose to continue on.
Even though all six of our embryos had been so strong, our first try simply hadn’t worked out. That was the plain medical truth of it. The cruel human truth was that we had already started loving the little girl we had been imagining, and now all we could do was wait for Anna’s body to rest and recover before we could try again.
As broken as we all were in that moment, I could still see it in the faces around me. No one was ready to give up. The promise we’d made was still there, bruised and hurting, but somehow still alive. Moving forward was exactly what we all wanted - and maybe even what we needed.
After making sure his reassurances had landed as well as they could, our well-practiced doctor quietly left us alone in the room. As soon as the door closed, the three of us collapsed into a tearful hug around Anna. There was nothing useful to say. Nothing any of us could fix. All we could do was hold on to each other and let our grief become something shared instead of something any one of us had to carry alone.
As he had been on St. John, Kevin was every bit as open to showing his love for me and Corey as we were for Anna. Tearful kisses were a very reassuring thing. Dr. Bradley had obviously survived scenes like this enough times throughout his career to understand that our simple act of sharing our grief was the first and most important step toward beginning our recovery.
****
It was way too early. I mean, so early that the sky was just barely hinting at a pre-dawn glow. Yet I knew my wolf was every bit as wide awake as I was. Finally, I spoke, cutting through any pretense that either of us was still asleep. “Corey… I just can’t sleep anymore.”
I rolled over to face him. “You know that as of today, we’ve officially made it a whole month longer than last time.”
I hated that I still measured hope that way, but I did. And I knew we all did.
“Anna and Kevin are going to their doctor’s appointment at ten, and Anna’s even told me she swears it feels different this time. Like she knows she’s really going to be a mother now.”
Corey’s morning-breath smile steadied me. “I understand, Ollie. Believe me, I’m just as excited as you are, pup.”
Then he gave me a quizzical look. “Wait… why did you say that like you aren’t going with her and Kevin to this really important visit?” Before I could answer, Corey picked up his phone and I assumed, started replying to a work text. An unfortunate and frequent situation for all on-call medical professionals. One that I understood usually meant that some unexpected, and most likely emergency, overtime was about to start for my wolf.
I gave my husband a sympathetic look along with a quick squeeze, nodding toward his phone. “Oh no. I’m sorry, Corey. Does whatever that is mean you have to get to the clinic early this morning?”
My Norse god gave me a puzzling and slightly sheepish grin. “Nah, it’s okay. No worries. I swear.”
I gave him another pensive look. “Cool cool. But back to your question… do you really think I should go?” I swallowed, already hearing how small my voice had become. “I mean, I know one of us is going to be the biological father of their baby, but she’s really going to be Kevin and Anna’s daughter. And after our first, umm… issue, I really don’t want to force my way into their business.”
I looked away, suddenly unable to hold Corey’s eyes.
“It just feels different now. Before, it was all of us being excited together. But after what happened, I don’t know… it suddenly feels wrong for me to insist that I need to be there with them right now.”
Before I could continue listing any more of my imagined reasons for why I shouldn’t join Anna and Kevin at their appointment, my phone started ringing.
Ringing?
Who the heck calls someone at this hour instead of texting?
Wait.
Who the heck even texts at this hour?
I glanced down at my screen and was both surprised and more than a little thrilled to see Kevin’s name. My smile was unstoppable as I accepted the call.
“Good morning, son. Can you please step out of the car?”
“Good morning, Officer. How can I help you?”
I chuckled at once again being invited to reenact our awkward first meeting. Somehow, this ridiculous little routine had become Kevin’s gentle way of reminding me that no matter what he was about to tell me, he had me.
Just as much as Corey did.
He immediately continued in a serious voice I knew was only another part of his act. “So, Oliver… I’ve received some very important information this morning from an anonymous but reliable source.”
He cleared his throat, and I could practically hear the smile he was trying to hide.
“And that source has alerted me that you don’t think you should come with us to Anna’s appointment today.”
My grin exploded. “Oh really? Gee, I wonder where you got that anonymous news from, Detective Kevin…”
I reached over and pinched my wolf’s unwisely exposed nipple.
Corey let out a not-entirely-unexpected yelp as Kevin continued, his voice suddenly turning tender, sincere, and reassuring.
“Ollie, come on, pup. You know we’re all still in this together. I know you haven’t forgotten the love we pledged - the family we swore to become - on that very special and very naked day.”
I could hear him take a breath.
“You and Corey are part of our lives now. Not just because of this baby. Not just because one of you will be her biological father. Because we’d already chosen each other before any of this started. Before it hurt. Before we got brave enough to try again.”
He had to clear his throat before continuing.
“Through the bad time we had and the good one we’re about to have, you’re still always going to be a big part of our family. And you know we’re still going to be just as big a part of your family too.”
His voice warmed into something that almost broke me.
“And since our wonderful combined family will soon include our daughter - who may be your progeny - we need you to get out of bed, stop pinching Corey’s nipple, and meet us at the clinic at nine this morning. Okay, Uncle Ollie?”
I tried my absolute best not to start uncontrollably giggling as I looked over at my sly wolf with all the stern authority I could fake.
“Corey Allen Rainer! Give me your phone, or at least stop texting Officer Kevin right now!”
Corey’s grin was all the confession I needed.
And after I collapsed into my wolf’s waiting arms, Officer Kevin may or may not have heard the sounds of our early-morning attempt at making puppies.
I mean, it all depends on when Corey finally stopped texting and whether I remembered to end our call before I surrendered to my wolf’s kisses.
Chapter 65: Ollie’s Paradise
Somehow we all knew it.
There was absolutely no way it could be denied; this time it somehow felt different. It felt certain. It even felt, well, practiced. It seemed that it had only been the matter of a couple intense months. A joyful and exciting time with the three of us big burly men trying our best to keep our amazing Anna as happy and as comfortable as any three not-entirely-clueless guys could do.
Anna, Kevin, Corey, and I had quickly - almost expertly - settled back into a happy familiar rhythm, secure and confident in our remembered skills and our well-rehearsed roles.
Well, at least Corey and I felt confident right up until the moment I received the big text from Kevin. The one that Corey and I had thought we had been so prepared to read…
I simply couldn’t contain my excitement, my joy - or my nerves.
“Corey! Corey!” I shouted loud enough to startle our poor Riley who quickly went to retrieve his old beloved George for comfort. “We need to go NOW! Kevin just texted. It’s time! We’re supposed to meet him ASAP in the maternity ward waiting room. I don’t really understand why, but he said that they think it’ll be a pretty fast birth.”
Corey ran up to me as quickly as he could, and I knew I would never forget the look on my wolf’s face. Joy. Absolute shock. And, maybe most adorably, just enough panic to prove that no amount of practice could ever truly prepare someone for this.
“Oh my lurd, pup.” His eyes locked onto mine, already shining. “This is really happening. I can’t believe it. I just can’t.”
Corey kept stammering. I had never seen him more undone.
“I mean, umm… what do we need to do before we leave? Wait. I mean, umm… let’s just get going. Wait! What about Riley and the dads? I mean, umm… I guess I can call Dad and Ted from the car on our way to the hospital, right? And Riley… well, I mean, he really doesn’t use his kennel anymore, um, does he?” Corey looked at me with the most helpless expression I’d ever seen on my wolf’s face. “I mean, umm… can you maybe drive? I mean, umm… I think we should really just go!”
As we climbed into my new Bronco, I looked over and placed a steadying hand on my husband’s nervously bouncing knee. “It’s okay, my strong wolf. Riley hasn’t used his kennel in a very long time. And we don’t need any more ‘I mean, umm’s’ from you.” I gave his knee a gentle squeeze. “Trust me, my love. We’re ready for this. We’ve got this - together.”
The biggest Go Time of our lives was finally here.
With a vengeance.
****
After all of the initial rushing and excitement, I looked around the room and realized we probably should have been a little better prepared for the dreaded maternity ward inevitability known as “hurry up and wait.” Corey and I had been here for two hours now, and Ted and Chris had shown up about thirty minutes after us. Which made it more than a little ironic that we’d both been so stressed out in the Bronco, worrying that our dads might arrive too late.
At least I had the honor of holding a very precocious, very beautiful, and terribly upset, curly blonde-haired little girl on my lap. Olivia Erin Barrett was still shedding her crocodile tears onto my shoulder while we passed the time - again, not so patiently - in our waiting room.
Between sobs, Olivia confided - to her favorite uncle - that her daddy simply didn’t love her anymore.
“… but Uncle Ollie.” Sob, “Daddy doesn’t even know what my favorite toy is! I showed him last night before bedtime. And I told him again this morning!” Double sob and a dramatic deep breath, “… but he still didn’t bring it with us! Even after he promised.”
I caught the cutest little chin-quiver just before she melted back into my chest and added a few more tears to stain my shirt.
Two chairs down, Daddy Kevin just rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. He adored his daughter more than anything else in this world. He knew it would only be a matter of a few minutes before she’d forgive him and he’d be returned to her good graces - especially once the big event finally arrived.
On my right, Uncle Corey decided to take matters into his own hands and launched a surprise tickle attack. Our sweet niece had no defenses against her second favorite uncle as her tears quickly gave way to a sweet symphony of angelic giggles.
Corey booped her nose to ensure that those giggles kept coming. “Hey my sweet girl. You know you’re about to get a new favorite toy very soon, right?” he teased.
She presented her uncle with a surprisingly stern face, “Uncle Corey, a baby is not a toy! It’s a person!”
“Well now,” her admonished uncle said grinning, “aren’t you just going to be the best big sister and big cousin ever? Our little Theodore Christopher Rainer has no idea what a lucky pup he already is.”
“Uncle Corey,” Olivia huffed and - I swear - rolled her crystal blue eyes, “I already told you! Theo is a person!” After righteously scolding her other uncle, she turned back to me with the most puzzled - yet still adorable - expression on her sweet face. “Uncle Ollie? Why isn’t Theo going to come home to live with me and Mommy and Daddy?”
It wasn’t the first time she’d asked that question, and it wasn’t the first time we’d all tried our best to answer it. But I was more than happy to try again.
“Well,” I smiled, “it’s a very big story. And the best part is, it has a very happy ending.” I gave her a gentle squeeze. “Almost four whole years ago, your mommy and daddy wanted to have a baby more than anything. So they asked me and Uncle Corey to help them. And guess what?”
Her bright eyes blinked up at me.
“The baby we helped them make… was you.”
I grinned and gave her tummy a quick little tickle. “And now you’ve grown up to be the sweetest, most beautiful little girl that we all love so much. None of us could ever imagine our world without you.”
I let that settle for a second before continuing, because the next part mattered most.
“Then, about a year ago, Uncle Corey and I decided that we really wanted to have a baby too. A sweet little boy of our own. So this time, we asked your mommy and daddy to help us. And because they love us so much - and because they already knew how much all of us love you - they said yes.”
Olivia’s little forehead wrinkled in concentration, so I kept my voice soft and simple.
“Your mommy agreed to carry our little Theo in her tummy, just like she carried you. That means Theo will always be your little brother in one way - because you and him both grew inside your mommy. But he’s also going to be our son, and Uncle Corey and I are going to be his daddies.”
I brushed a stray curl back from her forehead.
“And that means he’s going to need to live with us in our home. But that doesn’t mean he’s leaving you. It just means that your family is getting bigger. You can come over and play with him anytime you want. And I already know he’s going to need a big sister like you to teach him how to be the best little brother he can possibly be.”
Corey leaned over and chimed in, “And we know you’ll be the best big sister he could ever have.”
As Olivia was earnestly considering everything we’d just told her, the room’s double doors opened and Corey’s old friend Paul walked in with a wide smile. “Theo arrived ten minutes ago. Both he and Anna are doing great. The big little guy weighed in at eight pounds, four ounces.” He shot a sly glance at both of us and ambiguously added, “And let’s just say… he’s definitely your son.”
Chris knew Paul was only having a little fun, but he couldn’t hold back any longer, “Come on Paul! Does he have curly blond hair or straight blond hair?”
We all laughed at Chris’ excited little grand-daddy meltdown.
Ted chimed in with the stern voice that was typically reserved for giving me fatherly advice, “Christopher! You’re going to be a proud grandfather either way!” He broke character and chuckled as he wrapped his big arm around his husband’s shoulders.
Chris blushed - well, at least maybe just a little - but pressed on, still grinning. “I know, I know… but I can’t help it!” He glanced over to me and his first son, “I still can’t believe you two decided to only give your donations if the doctor wouldn’t reveal who fertilized which eggs.
“I swear I just want to know if we’ve got a curly-haired angel on our hands or a straight-haired little devil who’ll be baking river mud fossils in our oven again.”
Paul tried his best to keep his composure. He mostly succeeded in fighting back his laughter while wisely suggesting, “Anna is recovering well and is ready to let Corey and Ollie take custody of their son. So, why don’t you all follow me to your rooms for the night.
Looking directly at our side of the party, Paul deftly added with a kind smirk, “Y’all can make your ‘whose donation won’ guesses after seeing your beautiful little boy in person.”
Before letting us through the doors, Paul sternly glanced directly at me and Corey, “You two new dads, I expect you both to be shirtless by the time I bring little Theo to your room. Skin-to-skin bonding is very important for him - and for you.”
****
While Chris, Ted, Corey, and I headed toward our room, Paul, Kevin, and Olivia went to Anna’s. I glanced back just in time to watch Olivia run straight into her mother’s arms.
“Mommy!” she declared, bursting with the kind of pride only a little girl who had finally figured out the whole story could have. “You made a baby for Uncle Ollie and Uncle Corey! And I get to be his big cousin and his big sister!”
Anna’s eyes glistened as she pulled her daughter close and hugged her tight. Kevin - her big, strong, newly promoted to detective father - wrapped both of them in his arms, his own eyes wet with tears of pride.
Our extended family arrangement might still look complicated on paper.
But in reality, it was simply perfect.
****
We had just barely settled in and started trying our best to prepare for the biggest event of our lives when Paul quietly pushed our door open and carefully made his way into the room, cradling our precious cargo - our bundle of joy - in his arms.
The moment we caught our first glimpse of our beautiful boy, it was undeniable.
We all knew.
After years of choosing not to know, of letting mystery and love have their own say in how our family came together, it only took one amazed loving look at our Theodore Christopher to answer the biggest question for all of us.
But, once again, it was Chris who couldn’t contain his excitement.
“Okay, you two,” he gasped, his voice breaking with proud-granddad delight. “Get ready for your biggest test ever. Y’all have a little Corey on your hands.”
Ted was the first to add his laughter to our room. “Fine, he’s a little Corey. But he’s also got my name this time, so he’s going to be a very good son - and an even sweeter grandson.”
A rogue thought slipped through my overwhelmed brain, and I gave Ted a little mischievous grin. “Hey, Dad, we finally have a Ted Rainer in our family now. Are you feeling outnumbered yet? Or… just happy?”
Judging by the glow on Grandpa Ted’s face, I already knew the answer.
Still holding back his chuckles, Paul finally decided to deliver his cargo to a once-again very nervous Daddy Corey. My wolf’s hands were steady as he reached out, because of course they were. But his wide eyes told the truth his fingers refused to admit.
Paul carefully eased our sweet Theo into Corey’s arms, and the room turned reverently silent.
Our entire family understood that a promise was being made right here, right in front of us. Not spoken. Not practiced. Not written down in any legal document. Just a newborn son settling against his daddy’s bare chest while the strongest man I’d ever known tried not to fall apart under the weight of loving him with all of his heart.
Paul had been right. Watching Corey bond with our new son was powerful. It was the most beautiful moment of my life I had ever been given the privilege of witnessing.
Somehow, Corey managed to be the first to find his voice. “Hi, Theo pup,” he whispered, his voice breaking on pup.
Theodore Christopher Rainer blinked up at his daddy with all-too-familiar sky-blue eyes.
Corey’s eyes.
And there it was.
An instant of recognition rippled through our family. Grandpa Ted exhaled a contented sigh that sounded almost like an oath. Granddad Chris’ eyes shone bright through his falling tears. And I felt my world shift, then lock into a new and totally unknown place - maybe even a scary one - but also one so perfect and beautiful that I knew I would spend the rest of my life trying to deserve it.
Instincts I didn’t even know I had somehow took over. Almost in a trance, I moved closer, slowly drawn into our bold new world until I was bare shoulder to bare shoulder with my wolf. I placed one hand under Theo’s back, and the other found Corey’s wrist.
As suddenly as I’d experienced it twice before - first with Corey and then with our pup Riley - I felt a song rising up from my heart.
Before I could even remember its title, the intro melody found me. I started humming it softly, almost under my breath, and then a few changed lyrics slipped out before I could figure out how I’d even found them. I wasn’t singing to perform. I wasn’t even really singing to the room.
I was singing to our son.
“When we saw your face, we could feel our heart
Beat begin to race; it was love at first sight
In the still of this night…"
I winked at a very unsure, yet completely astonished new daddy Corey as I kept going, letting the old song become something new in our arms.
"Not too long ago, I was all alone
Never could have known you’d come into our lives
Now you’re love of our lives”
Then, finally, I remembered the title. “Once in a Lifetime.” By a really old group called Chicago.
After accidentally finding it in Richard’s album collection, it had somehow become my teenage hope-chest song about finding the love of my life. Back then, I’d assumed it was all about meeting my future soulmate - who turned out to be my Corey.
But now I realized it had been about something else all along. Something even more important: It was about me and Corey finding our son.
Corey’s watery eyes never broke away from Theo’s trusting gaze, almost as if he believed that looking away for even a second might allow our magical little miracle to disappear.
And I understood.
Corey had promised me over and over that he would never lose me. He had promised Riley the same thing in every way a man can promise a pup who already understands love better than words.
Now I could see that same promise forming again - deeper, quieter, and maybe even more powerful than ever before.
He would never lose our son.
“Is that his song?” Corey whispered, barely blinking up at me.
“Of course it is,” I replied softly. “And just like I promised you, it’s ours now too.”
I couldn’t stop myself from finishing the chorus.
“Once in our lifetime
For such a long time
We’ve been waiting for you.”
Theo simply couldn’t stay silent - already acting exactly like his daddy Corey - and answered my melodic declaration of love with a tiny, contented yawn. It may have been the smallest sign of agreement beneath our stars, but to everyone in our room, it was the most precious one imaginable.
Corey chuckled as tears of amazement made their way down his cheeks and disappeared into his dark blond beard.
Ted leaned in and kissed my temple while squeezing Corey’s shoulder. Chris rested a steadying hand on the small of my back before kissing the crown of his son’s head. Slowly, naturally, our family closed in around Theo, forming a protective circle while leaving just enough room for the new light shining at its center.
“Welcome to your family, little man,” Corey gently murmured. “We promise to love and support you while you become the best person you can ever be.”
I leaned in until my forehead touched Corey’s, leaving both our heads bowed over our son. Then I started humming Theo’s song again as our three separate heartbeats naturally merged into one single renewed promise.
We would become an indestructible family.
A foundation strong enough to support all of us for the rest of our lives.
I’d been shown so many different and amazing aspects of paradise since finding my chosen family. Waking up sandwiched between my wolf and my pup. Savoring brisket and jalapeño baked beans in our dads’ backyard. Being walked down the aisle by my mother and Ted. And then literally visiting - and even reclaiming - a paradise on earth.
But this new paradise was the most precious one by far.
In our perfect instant, I realized my true paradise had never been a place or a moment. It was this. Right here in my arms.
My husband. My son. Two souls I could hold and promise I would never lose.
As if my wolf could once again read my mind, Corey gently lifted our son and pressed Theo into my suddenly unsure arms, against my suddenly quaking chest.
While I stood there holding our miracle, Chris and Ted moved in even tighter, forming a protective outer ring around our gathering. And I finally let myself accept that this was truly the most important Family Hug of Acceptance I could ever have dreamed of.
As Theo’s contented breath settled warm against my shoulder, I felt the newest song of our lives begin again.
Not as the ending of this one precious moment.
But as the first gentle notes of our new life together, beautifully blooming in my arms.
But wait! There's a little more. There are two important little epilogues that I'll post on Thursday.
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