“HUUAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”
A loud scream pierces the air and I wake up with a start. It takes me a second to get my bearings in the unfamiliar apartment and to realize that it's Simon. I rush into the bedroom. Simon is kneeling upright in bed, screaming. His whole body is shaking as if he's having an epileptic seizure.
“Is everything okay? Are you all right? Did you have a bad dream?” I ask, concerned and slightly panicked.
There is no answer and no reaction. And he doesn't stop screaming. I climb into the bed and gently hug him so that his body stops shaking.
“It's okay. I'm here with you,” I try to calm him down.
Only now do I notice that he is still asleep and not awake at all. He mumbles something incomprehensible.
“Please wake up, Simon. You're having a bad nightmare,” I say louder and more energetically.
I sense that he not only has scars on his back, but also scars on his soul. It seems to me that this slave has been broken beyond the point of recovery. I am completely at a loss and overwhelmed. I can think of nothing better to do than to gently kiss the scars on his back. He flinches under my kisses. Not from the pain of the kisses, but from the pain of a traumatizing memory. I kiss him even more gently and caress him tenderly. Finally, he calms down! And he wakes up. But he's still babbling incomprehensible stuff.
“Wow, Simon, you scared me!”
“What happened? Did I talk in my sleep again?”
“‘Talk’ is an understatement,” I scold him, worried. Maybe I scold him a little too much, because Simon starts to cry.
“I'm completely broken!” he says, sobbing through his tears.
“It's okay. I'm here,” I try to comfort him.
“Do you think master will keep me? Or will you replace me?”
I take a deep breath and I am speechless. I can't think of a good answer because I can't speak for you, our master. Still, I really want to comfort Simon.
"When our Master left, I heard the concern in his voice and saw it in his eyes. It seemed to me as if he were entrusting me with his most precious possession. And you live together. I think he loves you very much. I haven't known you for long, but from what I've seen of you so far, I can understand very well why you are the master's favorite slave. You seem to be a very special slave, and I don't think anyone can ever replace you." I hug him tightly and caress him tenderly.
”Thank you, Marvin. You're really sweet," he whispers, sobbing.
I get my sleeping things from the couch in the living room and set up an improvised sleeping place on the floor next to the bed. In this moment, I miss you so much. I am completely overwhelmed by all the decisions I have to make and by the huge responsibility I have for Simon. I wish you were here to completely control me and tell me, what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. So that I can stop thinking and give up the burden of freedom. I am very worried to disappoint you.
“Do you want to sleep in the bed too?” Simon offers.
I think about Simon´s offer, but it doesn't seem right to me to sleep on your bed side.
"I want to sleep close to you in case something happens. Our master has instructed me that nothing must happen to you. I will be in serious trouble, when we report him, that you had a seizure. From now on, I will take even better care of you. Much better! And you must get well again quickly. Master will be very angry with me, if you are not healthy!"
Then Simon fell asleep. And finally, I also fell asleep on the hard floor under the bed.
