Part One
I stepped back and admired the shave and hair cut I had given my cousin, Cooley. Tears poured from my eyes as I inspected the neatness of the fade, the crispness of the edge up and the sheer artistry of his expertly trimmed beard. The realization hit me that I had just given my cousin his very last haircut. He was a lot thinner, his complexion was slightly darker, but I had done my absolute best to make him look as closely as possible like the Cooley we all knew and loved.
In 2022, Cooley was diagnosed with stomach and colon cancer. He told us that he was not likely to live to see his 40th birthday. I spent the next three years living in denial until two months ago when Cooley’s wife informed us that he had been given less than 90 days to live. He did not live to see 90 days.
“I know I am not going to have a voice to say this tomorrow.” I said hoarsely. “I love you Cooley. I am going to miss the hell out of you. Give Jerod a big nigga hug for me and the rest of the fellas.” I kissed him on the cheek, then I really lost it crying.
“Mr. Anderson,” said the tall, lanky ass funeral director handing me a tissue. “You have my deepest condolences.”
He was guiding me towards the exit. Old boy wanted me the fuck out of the way, so that they could get Cooley dressed and prepared for the wake tonight and the funeral tomorrow. Shit was cold as hell, but at the end of the day, those people were in business to make money.
I sat inside my car and allowed myself to have a much needed, ugly face, snot slinging cry. Cooley was a good guy; he did not deserve to have cancer cut his life short.
My phone rang right in the middle of my breakdown. Through my blurry, tear-filled eyes I saw the number of someone whose voice I had really been looking forward to hearing.
“Hello.” I said getting my crying under control
“Hey, Quamie; is this a bad time?” He asked. “I guess that’s a stupid question.”
“No, no it’s not, Olivier, thanks for calling.”
Olivier Watford was Cooley’s in home nurse for the last month of his life. He took damn good care of Cooley right up until he drew his final breath.
“I wanted to know what time the wake was. I might be able to get down to attend it today, but I am going to be back on call at the hospital tomorrow and will not be able to attend the funeral.”
“Seven.”
“Hmm, yeah, I will come down, but I probably cannot stay long.”
“I appreciate that. I am sure Jacqueline, and the kids will appreciate it too.”
“Most definitely. Does anybody need anything?”
“Nah, we are good. Thank you so much Olivier.”
“You’re welcome. I will see you later. Bye, Quamie.”
“Looking forward to it. Bye.”
Confession time, I got a mad ass crush on Olivier, but shit is complicated. First off, through the many casual conversations I had with him while he was caring for Cooley, I learned that he was in a relationship with not one, but two other niggas and they had been going strong for about four years. Second, though I have in the past four years accepted and admitted to those that I love that I am bi, but my sexual inclinations are skewed more same gender, I still have not had a same sex relationship outside of my cousins, two of whom are now deceased,
Trineece and I are no longer together. On January 3, 2021, she gave birth to our twin sons, Quamie and Quame. Six months later, she abandoned the three of us without a goodbye or explanation. Four years later, she has not made the slightest effort to even see the boys. Thanks to my Mama, Trineece’s mother, Miss Toukie, my aunties, all my female cousins, and Vashti, my sons have never not known what it is to be raised and loved by a mother figure. Miss Toukie keeps me up to date on Trineece’s where abouts but never gets into any details.
I made it to my parents’ house to pick up the boys. My Dad was in the front yard attempting to play football with my two sons, Quamie and Quame, and Chris’s youngest son, Micah. The sight of my nearly sixty-year-old father trying to get two four-year-olds and a three-year-old to follow the rules of football was both funny and touching as hell.
“Y’all take it easy on Pop- Pop; he’s old as hell.” I teased. My Dad smiled, flipped me the bird and resumed trying to get the three toddlers who were only interested in running around to focus on the damn ball. “I’ma go check on Mama, then I’ll come and take my two off of your hands.”
“Don’t rush, we’re having fun.” Dad called after me, as if those three were not wearing him out.
“Oh, you don’t see nobody else.” A voice startled me when I stepped up onto the porch. I do not know how I missed him, but sitting on the porch swing was Chris. Four empty beer bottles sat next to him.
“Oh Chris!” I said, trying to sound excited as he stumbled to his feet and awkwardly embraced me.
“Cuz, Cuz, Cuz.” He cooed, hugging me in a way that let me know that he was as horny as he was drunk. “I need it bad.” He whispered to me. “We got a few hours before the wake, Unc got the kids, Vashti and the Aunties are in there cooking for tomorrow, let’s go back to your place_____”
“No!” I said, abruptly freeing myself from his lingering embrace.
“Damn, Quamie.” He said, those grey eyes becoming glassy looking. “I’m hurting, I just want to feel better for a little while.”
“I just spent the last couple of hours grooming our cousin’s face and hair for his viewing.” I said trying to control my tone while my blood was fucken boiling. “You need to go lay down and sleep this off, so that you don’t say or do some shit to ruin Cooley’s wake and funeral.”
“I bet if Jayson wanted to, you would.”
“Grow the fuck up, Chris.” I hissed. “Now this is the last time you are going to disrespect me or my parents’ home.”
“I am sorry.” Said Chris hanging his head. “I’m just hurting so bad, Quamie.”
“We are all hurting, Chris, but this is not the way to cope. Get yourself together man, let’s all make sure that Cooley has the home going that he deserves.”
“Okay.” He nodded, allowing the tears to fall from his eyes.
“One day we will get back to normal, but not now, Okay.”
“Yeah.” He said as I turned to go inside the house. “But it’s been a whole year.”
Part Two
Damn, it had been a whole year since Chris and I had been intimate. Shit, I had not been sexual with any of the fellas in over a year for that matter. I believe what Cooley said to me and Chris last summer had a lot to do with it.
Cooley, Chris, and I were chilling in the back of my shop one hot Friday night drinking a bottle of Hennesey and smoking some weed.
“Goddamn, this shit got me horny as hell.” Chris announced after taking a long drag off of the blunt. “Which one of y’all gonna help a nigga out first?”
“I got ya,” I said dropping to my knees before Chris and unzipping his pants to release his cock that was rapidly starting to gain length.
“Man, y’all need to stop that shit,” groaned Cooley.
Chris and I were too far gone to have noticed what Cooley said. Chris’s throbbing cock was halfway down my throat when Cooley startled us both by screaming to the top of his lungs, “STOP THAT FUCKEN SHIT!!!!”
Cooley’s outburst made Chris jump causing his dick to stab the back of my throat. I instantly started gagging and spitting up on the floor when his member was snatched out of my mouth.
“I am sorry.” Cooley apologized. “I am sorry I yelled at y’all, but I am sorrier that I let this shit get to this point.”
“What are you talking about, Cooley?” Asked Chris
“I’m talking about the fact that you had your dick in your own first cousin’s mouth. I am talking about this shit that all of us never should have done in the first place but clearly have been doing for far too long.”
“Cooley, man, it’s not that serious.” I said
“Oh Goddamnit; what have I done?” Cooley rolled his eyes in frustration. “This is all my fault, mine, and Jerod’s. We never should have started messing around with each other, but we damn sure should not have introduced this shit to you two, ya’ll are younger than us and Jerod damn sure should not have touched Jabari, Breon, or Jayson who are younger than you two. And what has it really gotten us? Jerod is dead. My ass is dying. Breon, the one who dared to have any decency and rebuff this shit is dead, while his doppelganger gets to enjoy the life that Breon should have had.”
“Man, don’t talk about that,” said Chris
“Oh, don’t talk about the part that is mainly your fault?”
“Fuck you Cooley!” roared Chris. “Just because your ass has cancer and regretting some shit doesn’t make you the fucken moral authority. You were a grown ass married man with children, and I was barely out of puberty when you had me sucking your dick, so who the fuck are you to judge anybody?”
“Y’all stop before this shit goes too far.” I said as if those two niggas had not already launched some live ass grenades at each other.
“You know what Chris, I am sorry as hell I did that. From the bottom of my heart, I apologize to you and you too, Quamie, for bringing you two into what Jerod and I had going on.”
“Cooley, you don’t owe either of us an apology.” I said, “You never did anything to us that we didn’t want you to do.”
“Yeah man,” said Chris “I know I said the shit I said, but I was only being petty. What we have is beautiful.”
Chris and I embraced our sobbing cousin and let him know that we loved him.
“I gotta go.” Said Cooley breaking away from our embrace. “I love all of you, but I won’t be engaging in Circle of Amor activities with any of you anymore.”
“But Cooley____”
“I mean it Chris. I cannot tell any of you what to do, I can only control what I do from here on out. Now I love y’all and goodnight.” Cooley left out the back door to the shop.
“Hey Quamie, don’t let that get to you,” said Chris. “Cuz got a lot going on, but he’s going to come around.”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged
“I know I’m still horny as hell.” Smiled Chris
Our sex was as intense and mind blowing as ever, yet that night I went home feeling damn near sick with regret. I threw myself into work, raising my children, and making certain that I had little free time or was too exhausted to engage with the fellas. After a few months I stopped getting invited to special cousin’s nights all together. Damn, it had already been a year.
“Thank you so much for helping me with them.” I said to Olivier who carried a sleeping Quame, while I carried Quamie.
“No, thank you. I really appreciate you allowing me to crash here so that I don’t have to be on the road this late at night.”
It was damn near 11:30. Cooley’s wake was only supposed to be a couple of hours, but my Mama, my aunties, Vashti, and Cooley’s wife, Jacqueline damn near gave a full-on gospel concert. They sounded so good, nobody wanted to leave.
“Hey, I have a spare room, it’s the least I could do to thank you for all that you did to take care of my cousin in his final days.”
Plus, I want to see if I can get inside of you or get you inside of me.
“It was an honor to care for such a special man.” Said Olivier, following me upstairs to the twin’s room.
“He certainly was special. He would literally give someone the shirt off his back.” I placed Quamie onto his bed then took Quame from Olivier and put him to bed.
“I am glad I got the privilege to know him, even for a little while.” said Olivier.
I am sure I surprised the shit out of Olivier; hell, I surprised myself. I was so touched by his words that I hugged Olivier. It was spontaneous and awkward as hell. Mercifully, he accepted my embrace instead of pushing me away.
“Let me show you to the guest room.” I said
I cannot tell you the level of restraint it took for me not to beg that man to make love to me. His body was so tight and toned and he smelled damn good.
“You have a beautiful home.” He said as we descended the stairs. “So, it’s just you and your sons?”
“Yeah, for now it is. Their mother is out of the picture.”
“Divorce?”
“Nah, we were never married. She wasn’t ready to be a mother, so rather than stick around and take out her regret on our children, she opted to leave. I respect her for that.”
“Thank God you wanted to be a father. I know firsthand what happens when a child is unwanted and raised in unloving and unstable environments. My boyfriend, Rayshon, is a product of the foster care system. He experienced every kind of abuse imaginable. It’s a miracle he is able to function at all.”
“Damn. Nah, my boys are blessed that I have a big and loving family, plus their Mama’s mother is also in their lives. Two things my boys are is spoiled and loved,” I bragged
“I know that’s right.” Said Olivier. “Oh shit, a king size bed!” he exclaimed when I turned the lights on in the guest room. “Man, it has been forever since I have slept alone in a king-sized bed.”
“It’s a California King mattress, so you should be plenty comfortable.”
“Thank you so much, Quamie, I could definitely use a few hours’ sleep in a big comfortable bed.”
Old boy must’ve been hella grateful because he started undressing right in front of me. I damn sure didn’t mind. His body was even better than I thought. My dick was so hard it ached. I threw caution to the wind and kissed Olivier right on those juicy ass lips.
“Quamie!” he jumped back startled.
“Please.” I begged. “I’ve been feeling you for a minute, Olivier.”
“I think I’d better go.” He said picking up his clothes.
“No, I swear I won’t bother you anymore. I just lost myself for a minute there. I’ma go upstairs and let you get some sleep.”
“I appreciate that Quamie. I will be gone around seven. I won’t wake you.”
“I am so sorry Olivier.”
“I am too, Quamie. My personal life is complicated enough as is, I just don’t want to add to it.”
“Understood,” I said wishing I could just undo the whole thing “Sleep well Olivier.”
“Sleep well Quamie.”
I headed upstairs with my dick and ego deflated.
I checked in on Quamie and Quame. Both of them were fast asleep on their stomachs without a worry in the world. I could not help but feel proud. I did a lot of wrong shit in my life, but the one thing I did right was provide my sons with a wonderful life. God, please help me to continue to give them everything they need and want, because they deserve it.
When I finally made it to my bedroom, I was dog tired. Of course, that would be the moment for my phone, which had been quiet as hell for hours, to ring.
It was Breon of all people. What the hell did that nigga want this time of night? Three years ago, he, Takeisha, and little Breon moved to Atlanta, where he opened his own barber shop and Takeisha worked as an exotic dancer. They seemed to be doing well and were even expecting a baby.
“Man, what is going on?” I asked
“Quamie, thanks for answering. I have been trying to reach Mama; I have also been trying to reach Takeisha’s mama. She’s missing, Quamie.”
“What?”
“She is missing! Takeisha is missing!” The last time she was seen was 8:00 AM when she dropped BJ off at daycare. They called me at the shop when she didn’t come to pick him up.”
This shit was like déjà vu. When Trineece abandoned me and the kids she did not pick them up from my parents’ home and turned her phone off.
“What?”
“Something is wrong Quamie! Our ring cam only shows her leaving this morning but not returning.
“Have you called the police?”
“Yes, Quamie, the mother of my children is missing, of course I called the police.” Breon sounded quite annoyed with my question, but I wanted to make sure I had every detail, so I could tell if or when his story started to change or fall apart. I still did not fully trust old boy, even though in five years he had not done anything to warrant my distrust.
“Aunt Fendi has been busy all-day cooking for the repass tomorrow.”
“Oh shit, I forgot! Cooley’s funeral is tomorrow! We were supposed to be heading to NC in the morning. I have been completely thrown off.”
“That’s understandable. Have you or the cops spoken to anyone at the club?”
“She wasn’t on schedule to work. No one from there had seen or heard from her today.”
“Where is Little Breon now?”
“He is asleep, Quamie, it’s after midnight. Poor guy had been crying ever since his mother did not pick him up.”
“But is he okay?”
“Quamie, I am going to be very real with you, I do not like your tone. If there is something you want to ask me, I really wish you would man the hell up and do it!”
“Okay, keeping it real, I do not trust you and this shit seems hella suspect.”
“Quamie!”
“I hope for your sake that all this shit you are saying is true and my little cousin damn better be okay,”
“Right, because you always gave a damn about him?” Breon guffawed “I am that boy’s father. I am his protector and provider. You, Chris, Cooley, and Jabari provided me that opportunity, and I have gone above and beyond in fixing your fuck up. I don’t only deserve, I fucken demand the benefit of a doubt from you.”
I could not argue with the truth. Regardless of how I felt about Old Boy, he had stepped up and been the father that we robbed little BJ of before he was even born.
“Okay,” I conceded “I will give you the benefit of a doubt for now. What can I do to help?”
“Nothing really, I just needed to give somebody back home a heads up. Oh, thank God!” He exclaimed when we both heard the call waiting beep. “Quamie, this is Mama, I will talk to you later.”
“Alright, man. I hope everything turns out well.” I know my tone was skeptical as hell, but I could not help it. I was glad when our call ended. As I mentioned before, Old Boy had never in five years did anything to betray me or my cousins, he had been nothing but a devoted father to BJ, and he had been the best son imaginable to Aunt Fendi, but I still did not trust him. Something in my gut was telling me that if Takeisha was indeed missing, Breon was responsible.
Part Three
I woke up to the sound of the shower running downstairs. At first, I was panicked as hell, because it ran across my mind that one or both of the boys had gotten it into their minds to take their own bath. I was halfway out my bedroom door when I remembered that Olivier had spent the night. I looked at the clock on my nightstand. 6:15 AM. A devious smile crept across my face as I went to my bathroom and washed my face, crotch, and underarms. I put on deodorant, swished mouthwash, and sprayed on some of the Arabian Musk cologne my Mama gave me last Christmas. I put on my grey boxer briefs that had a pouch in the crotch area. I loved the way my dick hung in them. I put on my grey footie socks, ran the wave brush through my hair, and put on the short, Japanese Kimono style robe that Jayson bought for me. I peeped in on the boys who were surprisingly still knocked out. Good.
My timing had been damned near perfect. As soon as I made it to the bottom of the stairs, Olivier came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel. I wouldn’t have been surprised if my stomach had started rumbling, because old boy was damn sure looking like a snack and I was down to eat him from the rooter to the mother fucken tooter.
“Oh, Good Morning.” He said, startled.
“Good Morning, I really needed a cup of coffee.” I lied “Could I interest you in a cup?”
Can I suck your dick and eat your ass out while I’m at it?
“That actually sounds good.” He said. Olivier was failing miserably at trying not to stare at what my open Kimono barely concealed.
I knew my body was looking cut and fine as hell. A full Peloton Bike workout three times a week had me lean and defined. My face and hair were always on point. God was mad generous when he gave me my dick and ass. I am sexy as hell, and I own that shit. The morning light gave Olivier a clear picture of what he missed the night before. Horniness and regret filled his eyes. I could see movement starting to happen under that towel.
“Damn!” he exclaimed as his massive erection made a tent in the front of the towel.
“Looks like you want more than coffee.” I smiled moving closer to him. He did not object when I reached under the towel and grabbed his throbbing member. I tore the towel off of him, so that I could finally see him in all of his glory. I removed my boxers and kimono.
“Damn, I thought I had a big dick.” Said Olivier admiring what I was dying to put inside of him,
“Shit, nigga, you do.” I said dropping to my knees and treating him to some bomb ass Quamie head.
“Goddamn.” He groaned as my throat engulfed him. Olivier tasted like a pineapple Jolly Rancher; sweet, tangy, and tropical. I fingered his booty to get him ready for when my dick would slide up in him.
He was too much of a gentleman to cum in my mouth, though I would not have minded. He snatched out and with a surgeon’s precision, shot his load directly onto the towel that had been thrown on the floor. I was amazed that each squirt landed so perfectly. Seeing that shit added at least another three inches to my already raging hard on. I lifted him up and carried him into the guest room.
“Wait!” he said leaning over the side of his bed and fumbling through his overnight bag. “Here,” He said handing me a Magnum lubricated condom. “Quamie we gotta.” He said before I could protest.
“I swear I don’t have anything.” I said
“I don’t either, but one of my partners is positive…”
“Nigga, what the fuck?!” I raged. This mother fucker let me suck his dick knowing he was fucking a mother fucker that had the Ut- Oh!!
“I am negative!” He reaffirmed. “I am on PrEP. I would feel safer if we used a condom because I do not want to chance taking an STD back to him.
“I told you I ain’t got nothing!” I was beyond offended; this nigga was fucking an HIV positive nigga but was treating me like I was a fucken threat.
“You know what, let me just get dressed and go. This was not a good idea to begin with.”
“Well damn, can you at least suck my cock; shit, can I get some get back?”
“Hell no!” He said, “Do you even hear your disrespectful ass tone?”
“Disrespectful, nigga, you didn’t tell me one of your partners was positive until after I blew you. You are lucky I didn’t kick your ass.”
“And I would have blown your yella ass away with my Glock.” He said with such sincerity it frightened me. “The saddest part of all of this shit is, you were down to fuck me raw and never once did you ask me anything about my status. You would have been perfectly fine with me, because I am negative, but what about the next man that you seduce into sex?”
“I ain’t no slut. I have been celibate for over a year.” I argued. “I liked you and really wanted to share something special with you,”
“You know what, Quamie, me fucken too. I really liked you too, so much that I cheated on my partners. I gotta get out of here, try and destress before I make this long ass ride and______”
I kissed him. He did not resist at first but managed to tear himself from my grip.
“I am sorry, Quamie. I am no longer in the mood.” He started to dress and gather his things while I stood there naked and feeling like a complete horse’s ass. “Take care of yourself, Quamie and God bless you and your family today.” He left.
Damn, it dawned on me for the first time that morning that Cooley’s funeral was going to take place at one o’clock. I sat down on the king- sized bed that I had wanted so desperately to fuck Olivier on moments earlier and cried.
To Be Continued
Thank You for reading. I am aware that I have a short story with the same title on this site. It is a tie in to this story and the previous story Circle of Amor, however, the title is better suited for this story as you will come to see. This story has a lot of chapters. I will share the next few by the end of the week or beginning of next week. Please leave feedback. All feedback, good , bad or indifferent is appreciated.
To get in touch with the author, send them an email.
