Master's degree in 69

After his bachelor of arts’ degree, with a minor in history, Jean-Louis got a master’s degree in recreology, the study of leisure. His thesis focused on cultural activities, even though he was already an expert on… oral activities. Sucking a guy’s dick was at the top of his own leisurely practices.

When Jean-Louis turned 69, he thought that it would be his lucky year since he enjoyed the 69 position, described by Wikipedia as “a sex position in which two people align themselves so that each person’s mouth is near the other’s genitals, each simultaneously performing oral sex on the other”. This position can involve any combination of genders, but for Jean-Louis, it boils down to: You suck my hard rod while I suck your stiff cock!

As a history buff, Jean-Louis knows that mutual simultaneous oragenitalism is usually referred to in English under the euphemistic French numerical form, “soixante-neuf” (sixty-nine). The term first appeared in what is commonly called the Whore’s Catechism, published in 1791 and attributed to an early leader of the French Revolution, Anne-Joséphine Théroigne de Méricourt. Jean-Louis has a copy of this publication with its full name: Catéchisme libertin à l’usage des filles de joie et des jeunes demoiselles qui se destinent à embrasser cette profession (Libertine catechism for the use of girls of joy and young ladies who are destined to embrace this profession).

Even though the earliest unequivocal representation of sixty-nine appears on a Greek or Roman oil-lamp showing the woman lying on top of the man, Jean-Louis believes that the same-sex 69 position can easily claim to be included in the oldest practices in the world. Heracles may have ravished fifty virgins in a single night, but he also had an affair with his nephew Iolaus, and the poet Theocritus (300 BC) chose to write about the love between Heracles and his companion Hylas… to whom he certainly taught the 69 position… if we can trust Jean-Louis who sometimes likes to stretch the truth. LOL.

Our recreologist believes that gay men don’t need to have anal sex in order to reach satisfactory pleasure. They can give and get it both at the same time thanks to oral sex and it can be as gratifying as anal sex. “Laying side by side, top to tail, my face in my partner’s crotch, is just a first step. Different heights don’t matter; if I’m taller (6’2”), I can curve into a V shape so that my jewels are in the right place.” Moreover, in the 69 position, one is not passive while the other is active. The question “who’s the man and who’s the woman?” does not have its place. Equal footage here, like a foot-long in your mouth, ha, ha!

Even at 69, Jean-Louis is still pretty athletic and very capable of doing “push-ups” when his partner is laying down, face up, ready to get his mouth fucked from above. He is also concerned by the risk of getting HIV. He knows that oral sex is much safer than getting butt fucked because the throat is not as vulnerable to infection as the ass is. Saliva has properties that can disable some infections, including HIV. Also, the mouth and throat are not as efficient at absorbing liquids into the bloodstream as the lining of the arse is. Even if you swallow cum, any HIV that may be there will usually be killed by the strong acids in your stomach.

With fifty years of practice, Jean-Louis could easily write a thesis on “leisurely 69 pleasure”. His philosophy can be summarized as follows: if your partner loves to go down on you, he clearly cares about your pleasure, which translates outside the bedroom as well. Such a philosophy speaks volumes about one’s character. If your partner is focused on pleasing you sexually, he no doubt exhibits that same willingness to give in everyday life. Whether it’s paying you compliments or running errands for you when you’re sick, a giving partner is never overrated, especially when he’s giving you orgasm after orgasm.

In his thesis for a master’s degree in 69, Jean-Louis would write that there’s something undeniably intimate about two guys giving and getting oral, which is probably what makes it feel so good. “If your partner is familiar with your private parts and regularly spends time with them, chances are he is extremely comfortable with you outside the sack as well.” Jean-Louis’ experience has proven that an established sense of sexual intimacy lends itself to emotional intimacy (and vice versa). “Most of the time, when a guy loves giving and receiving oral, he will no doubt feel close enough to open up about personal stuff, too.”

It is not a proven conclusion, but if a guy is good at oral sex, he probably knows how to work his tongue in more than one situation. You can appreciate him for the orgasms as well as the perfectly passionate kisses he can give your face lips, too. Mushroom can be a double metaphor, don’t you think so?