THE SEA
PART TWO
“You can trust history. You just can’t trust movies. You get another message from Rulon?”
“No. Should I write him?”
“We should be Christian about it. Let’s just not be martyrs.”
“Especially now that we know the martyr part of Quo Vadis was some bullshit,” Alexis muttered, sinking into his chair.
“I’ll type: Just got this. What’s going on? Where are you?”
“That works.”
Alexis yawned.
“Should we invite him over—”
“That does not work.”
“Or just go to bed and worry about him in the morning?”
“Exactly.”
In the dim shadows of six am, Alexis Thibodaux woke, and thought the best thing to do was close the blinds and go back to bed. He had three assignments, but they were for later, and if Darius, who was stretched out naked beside him on the futon where they’d spent the night, had any plans, they were for later as well. He ran his hand to the small of Darius’s back to his ass, and then rolled over lazily and reached for his cigarettes. Looking up at the ceiling, he smoked and tried to remember the things left undone while the day tried to break through closed blinds. A day like yesterday always ended with much left undone, the world in a fine state of chaos. Darius stretched out a leg and then curled into an almost ball, pressing his backside into Alexis.
He put down his cigarette and, squinting, looked for his glasses so he could look for his phone. Rulon, yes. Rulon had come back. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. The world was full of enough chaos and bullshit. He went to his messages.
“I’m in town, stayed on the beach in my van. In a place called Edgewater.”
“Oh, shit,” Alexis murmured. He took up his cigarette, inhaled again and said, “Oh, shit,” and then shook Darius by the shoulder.
“Whaaaaa?” Darius said, and Alexis said, “Rulon is on the beach.”
“What?”
“He’s sleeping on the beach, just a few blocks away from here.”
“Oh,” Darius shook his head and yawned. “Tell him to come here, then. Send him the address, and… and tell him to let us know when he’s here.””
With that, Darius pressed his face into the pillow and went back to sleep.
Alexis shrugged and obeyed, murmuring, “Tell…. Us… when… you’re…here.
“So you’re just going back to bed?” Alexis said, turning over and snuggling against Darius’s body.
“Yes,” Darius said. “He’s probably not even awake yet. Who knows when he’ll get the message.”
“That’s fair.”
Alexis prided himself on being a very chill person, but it was Darius, who was the calm voice of reason. Darius was snoring again just a few minutes. Alexis finished off his cigarette and then flipped around on his phone, which was becoming less and less obedient, until he found BBC4 and turned on the radio. As he plugged his phone back in, holding the cord to the phone until he felt he charge buzz and pressing it so that the cord did not fall out, the news of the world as told on the other side of the Atlanic came to him in British accents.
The UK government has reiterated that it sees it as “a significant escalation” that Iran has supplied Russia with more armaments. In a statement about UK prime minister’s visit to Washington today, the government said:
The prime minister has arrived in Washington to hold talks with the US president today. In an extended meeting at the White House, the prime minister and the president will discuss a wide range of pressing international issues – including our ongoing support for Ukraine.
It follows the foreign secretary and US secretary of state’s visit to Kyiv this week, where they heard directly from President Zelenskiy about Ukraine’s current position against Russia’s ongoing barbaric invasion.
In a time when he was severely under employed and could barely pay his rent, when the specter of healthier, more successful and dumber people all around him made him tend to hate life, the news was a reminder of what a true dumpster fire the world was, and the proof that he wasn’t doing so badly after all. He actually got out of bed whistling, and went to make coffee, and by the time the first cup of was ready, Darius was also up, a sheet wrapped around him, and he got himself a cup and sat on the edge of the bed, wrapped in a blue bed sheet, eyes blurry as he sipped on the morning mug and finally did what Alexis had been meaning to, and rose naked to open the blinds.
It was as Darius was finishing his first cup of coffee, and Alexis was moving around cleaning up last night that there was a knock on the door.
“Well, I guess he’s here,” Alexis said, and Darius, looking for shorts, pulled them on and agreed.
“Well, I guess he is. But how’d he get in the building?”
Shirtless and cigarette behind his left ear, Darius went to the door, opened it and yelped.
“That doesn’t sound like a good morning, Rulon—”Alexis began before turning to look.
“And good morning to you too,” said the man at the door.
Fresh, handsome, most un Rulon like, was Darius’s one time beloved and current ex whom he had just spent yesterday morning telling off.
“Michael,” he said, Flatly.
Michael smiled broadly and said, “May I come in?”
“Vampire no,” Darius swore, and slammed the door in his face.
Thank you for answering the door,” Michael said when Alexis opened the door Darius had just slammed in his face.
“I felt like Darius wanted me to, deep on the inside.”
“No,” Darius said.
“Remember I said we needed to talk?” Michael said.
“Remember I hung up on you?”
“Yes,” Michael said. “Yes, I do remember that. And I was just in the neighborhood—”
“Don’t you live in Wicker Park?” Alexis said.
“I was on my way to work.”
“I thought you worked in Old Town.”
“That’s really nowhere near here,” Darius commented.
“Except on an episode of the Good Wife,” Alexis said.
“You know, it always pissed off that whoever was writing that show apparently never looked at a map of Chicago. They just had people living all over the place and popping up everywhere.”
“Like the one time the daughter had a friend from school, and when Julianna Margulies asked where she lived she said—”
“Garfield Park.”
“And that’s not even how public schools work. I mean, how are you and some bitch who lives on the Gold Coast going to the same school if you live in Garfield Park?”
“And then didn’t the girl ride her bike home?”
“From Gold Coast to Garfield Park.”
“Did the bitch ride on the expressway?”
Michael Cordoni took a deep breath while the two roommates continued talking. He was fashionable, a graduate of the Notre Dame divinity program in raspberry colord trousets and ahite shit aih a blue blazer. He sported not just one but two earrings. Darius edmited he liked it and the fact that Michael always had a five o cloc shadow. He couldn’t’ describe the hair. It was something cute that white boys did. Shorter to the sides, ave at the top. His hair was tear colored, it had been darker. Darius had once been a lot more interested in the ins and outs of this hair. Now he wanted to keep on talking about The Good Wife.
“But the point is,” Alexis, who never forgot the point, said, “We aren’t near anywhere you should be.”
“Look,” Michael said, as if trying to say it past Alexis who was throwing cushions back on the futon and easy chair, and pillows back on cushions, “could we talk? You and I? Soon. I would really like that.”
“I owe you nothing,” Darius said.
“He owes you nothing,” Alexis chimed in.
“I think Darius is capable of speaking for himself, and you’re not making things easier,” Michael said.
“Well, I’m not supposed to be making them easier,” said Alexis.
There was a new knock at the door and Alexis said, “Well, who the fuck is this?”
But of course, when he opened it, it was Rulon.
“Rulon, you big son of a bitch,” he said, surprised that he was actually glad to see the thin giant.
Rulon enfolded him in a great grip, pressing against him, and then Alexis said, “Rulon, here’s Darius. As you know. And here’s Michael.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Rulon held out a hand to Michael.
“And pleased to meet the back of him,” Darius said, “cause he’s about to go.”
“I was going to take you to breakfast.”
“I don’t need your fucking breakfast,” Darius said.
“You kind of do,” Alexis said.
Darius looked at him.
“We haven’t shopped in a minute, and you’re about to feel some hunger pangs pretty soon. I know I’m getting hungry.”
“Well, that settles it. I’m paying. We can all go to breakfast.”
“That sounds great!” Rulon pumped his fist.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Darius demanded.
“Well…” Alexis said, “he is paying.”
“I could eat a wolf,” Rulon declared.
“There may not be wolf on the menu,” Michael said.
“This guy’s funny,” Rulon decided.
But Darius said, “I don’t agree.”
“I’m throwing some clothes on,” Alexis said, heading for his bedroom.
“You can disagree later.”
“I have such respect for the Latter Day Saints,” Michael declared.
“We Catholics have so much to learn from our Mormon cous—are you mocking me?” he looked at Darius.
“You sound like a fucking pinhead.”
“Once,” Alexis said, “when I came to Utah I did acid in front of that temple,” Michael said. “I swear to God I could hear that angel blowing his fucking trumpet. It tripped my shit out.”
Ignoring this, Rulon said, “You know, we’re the only Church that ever went to war with America.”
“Every time you say that bullshit,” Alexis noted, “you act like that’s something to be proud of. And it’s not even true.”
“It is true that Joseph Smith raised an army—”
“It’s true he was a fucking crackpot,” Darius said,, reaching for his vape.
“I wish I could smoke. The two of you make me wish I could smoke.
“I think you’re actually both being very discourteous,” Michael said.
“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Darius dismissed him, and Alexis cackled.
“My apologies,” Michael said.
“What the fuck are you apologizing for?” Alexis asked him. “We’ve been listening to Rulon say crazy shit for years, shit he don’t even live by. And the only thing you should be sorry for is cheating on Darius.”
“Nobody’s perfect,” Rulon said.
And Alexis said, “That’s cause nobody tries.”
Darius’s phone rang and he picked it up, frowned, and put it back in his pocket.
“Who was that?”
“Joan.”
“Oh,” Alexis made a face.
“Who’s Joan?” Rulon asked.
“This annoying bitch from your church that nobody but us will be friends with, and even we don’t really like her.”
“I try to like her,” Darius said. “And then, right when I almost do, she says something stupid and I want to put her in a sack and drown her in the Chicago River.”
“Or in the Calumet. It’s further south.”
“I can never tell,” Michael said, his eyes narrowing, “if you’re really horrible, or just pretending.”
“I bet you can,” Darius said.
“Are you all enjoying the meal?” the waiter asked.
“Delicious.”
“Delicious.”
“Excellent”
“Tops.”
They all smiled at him and when he went away, Darius went right back to saying, “But she is annoying as fuck. Her mother was English. Her father was Italian and then she married a Jew, and if you take the most annoying woman from Mary Poppins and mixed her with the most annoying character from Good Fellas and then shook her up and added Gilbert Gottlieb, that’s who she would be.”
“Oh, my God you’re right!” Darius said. “Thank you! I’ve been trying to figure out how the fuck to describe her.”
“Her heart’s in the right place,” Alexis said.
“Now if only she didn’t have a mouth!”
Darius and Alexis burst out laughing and clinked their water glasses together.
Michael looked at Rulon and said, “Are they always like this?”
Rulon snorted and shrugged.
“I like it.”
“Yes, yes…” Darius was saying, reflectively now.
“That bitch,” Alexis murmured in the same fashion.
“We’re back now,” Darius said, as if they’d traveled to a different country. “What were we talking about?”
“Being the best versions of ourselves,” Michael said, and Darius said, “No we weren’t.”
“Being the best versions of ourselves,” Alexis murmured in a mocking tone.
Rulon looked down on him, “Don’t you want to be the best version of yourself?”
“What the fuck for?” Darius said.
“Sounds like a lot work,” Alexis said.
“Everyone wants to be the best version of themselves,” Michael said. “Everyone.”
“No,” Alexis differed, “Everyone wants you to think they want to be the best versions of themselves. But if we were anything like the best versions of ourselves, do you thinks the world would be the way it is?
“So, the other day, I just got up and left. And that same day I saw someone coming toward me to make conversation and thought, ‘Goddamn I don’t feel like this shit.’ And then at the end of the day I thought…. I was not my best self. I just wasn’t. And as I was laying on my bed, looking at the ceiling spinning around with all the galaxies—that’s because I had stars and planets painted on my ceiling, but that’s a whole other story, and of course, they were spinning cause I was high. But what was I saying? Yes. I was saying, I was laying on the bed, looking at the ceiling and suddenly I thought, I wasn’t my best self? So fucking what? Why the fuck does that even matter?”
“I don’t know if I agree with that,” Rulon said after a pause, and Michael, who sat rolling his tongue around in his mouth, said, “Yeah, I don’t now it I do, either.”
“Well, fuck the both of you,” Darius said, and Alexis nodded in agreement.
It wasn’t that Alexis didn’t want to be here. After all, here was a restaurant on Broadway, and he loved Broadway and he loved to eat. There were far worse fates than eating a Monte Carlo, and it wasn’t that he didn’t like the company. This was a pleasant configuration of people. Even Michael. But he didn’t want to be here on Michael’s terms, bored by Michael’s words, or Rulon’s stupidity. He wasn’t interested in the particular conversation.
“Do you think when there’s an eclipse,” he began, “that it’s like the sun puts it’s face in the moon’s ass?”
“What?” Michael said.
“Yes,” Darius answered.
He could always count on Darius.
“And what’s more,” Alexis continued, “once the moon is mooning the sun, do you think the sun likes it?”
“I think I’d like it.”
“I know you would, Darius.”
“Anyway,” Michael began, “I was thinking later on, like in a few minutes, I could have a serious discussion with you.”
“When you say you, you mean Darius?”
Michael blinked at Alexis.
“Of course, I mean Darius.”
“Oh, good, I wasn’t in the mood for a serious discussion.”
He looked at Rulon.
“How long were you staying?”
“I don’t really know.”
What was it with all these white people showing up and falling on his couch with no plans?
“Well, you brought a change of clothes?”
“Oh, I brought a bunch of clothes.”
“Great. The first thing you need is a shower.”
“Do I smell bad?”
“If you’re over the age of thirteen and you haven’t bathed in the last twenty for hours, you should never have to ask that question.”
Rulon was about to pursue that but decided not tom and Alexis said to Darius, “Are you all going to have a private conversation?”
“I guess we are,” Darius speared a bit of French Toast.
“Alright, then,” Alexis nodded.
“Me and Rulon’ll go down Broadway, look at he the used bookstores.”
“Then we all meet back up and go home?”
“Well, I don’t know if we need to all meet back up. We could just go home.”
