Lovers and a Loon

by Petr-Johan

7 Nov 2017 1117 readers Score 8.9 (40 votes) PDF Mobi ePub Txt


"Well, Mr. Hastings, nice to see you. Been a while now, what? Two or more years. Good to see you, looking well." The desk S argent was one of the more pleasant people I had to deal with on occasion.
"I'll call over to processing and see if we can't hurry it along a bit, nothing major, barely rises to a misdemeanor." He yelled at some one somewhere to hurry the fuck along.
"Fresh pot, just made it myself. Offer you a cup?"

I smiled my thanks and declined. Sitting there in a pair of shorts, a T shirt, two white sneakers just not of the same brand and a Burberry Trench coat I thought about how, again, I was here waiting for 'them' to produce him. The S argent and I had become almost buddies over the past several months to the point I expected to exchange Christmas Cards.

"May I say something?"
"Sure, unless it's your speech about what a fine young man I am and why do I try and help what is clearly an ingrate, a trouble maker and great distraction....Is the speech, Officer?"
"It's got a new variation." We both laughed.
Of course he was right, telling me changed nothing just made me ever more aware that I was an idiot for getting involved in the stupid scheme of someone else. The first time he called from jail-the one in which I was now seated-I should have said hell no, rolled over and apologized to whomever was sleeping with me for the interruption. But I didn't. 


I have never understood the fascination some have with celebrities. It's one thing to have their photo, maybe even get an autograph but beyond that, no. Lee was one of those who had passed adulation and went straight on to obsession with some sort of singer. Nothing would do but that would meet. He attended every concert, even the ones ranging from Sydney to London as well as those in what I had begun to think of as the "local ones", those in the 48 contiguous states. 

The first time he was found secreted under the tablecloth of a room service rolling trolley. The cops thought it was almost funny, almost. They didn't charge him just set him loose with a strict warning and....he was banned in perpetuity from the hotel. The first of many places to slap such an order on him. 

The next time was the first time for me. He'd been caught trying to climb the ivy covered wall of the home of his inamorata. That got an incident report, a misdemeanor charge of, as I remember, loitering and a suspended sentence. Oh, and he had to have some "responsible" person come collect him. I was a young attorney, barely acknowledged at the firm which had hired me but...I was an attorney and presumably responsible. I paid the bail-he paid me back-then he was handed over to me. Was he contrite? Sorry for annoying me? No, what he was sorry for was that he hadn't made it over the wall. When we got to my house and got out of the car, I punched him then dragged him inside, ripped his clothes off and fucked him on the island in my kitchen. When I got bored, and empty, I stuck the rounded end of a rolling pin in him, got the twine with which I tied up turkey or chicken, bound him like a turkey then, in foul mood, went to bed. 

Morning found him next to me, well semi on top of me, blowing me. I had an early case and no time for this, although, unfortunately,  I was already on the road to shooting which I did as I showered. My only words for him were to be out of my bed, my bedroom and my home. I snarled as I crept down the freeway and began to have a fuller understanding as to road rage and what might cause it Oh, I won my case and even got a modest sum in punitive damages. 

I didn't take the freeway home but the "side road" that no one knew about but everybody used. I can't say which was longer and it didn't matter. I was so grateful to be home I almost embraced the garage door as it went down closing off the rest of the world. I could smell the food and hoped against hoped against hope that it was my twice a week housekeeper who occasionally left a hot meal. Or a chef friend who slid in, well, I gave him a key for his food and other purposes, and left good things from his restaurant. 

It was Lee, sporting a black eye but chipper as a Spring morning. I wanted to grab the electric hand mixer and apply it to his cock and balls. "You're Home!!! Dinner is almost ready, so just go get comfortable, take off your clothes, all of them and I'll bring it upstairs to your study.

"Why....Are...You....Here?"
"Well, I went home just like you told me but I got lonely and Martha was making this delicious dish which I knew you'd enjoy...so I came over and made it. Then, I thought, I'd give you a hot oil massage and deep throat you. Or you can deep fuck me."
I just stared at him. The food was doubtlessly good-he was a slave to the elegant Mrs. Stewart and could reproduce what she made on television almost better than she'd made it The sex? Eh.....he was no new thrill. The hot oil massage....was tempting but to admit and allow that was to admit and allow all the other things. 

He was at me, unbuttoning this, removing that until I found myself in my own kitchen in my bikini underwear and a pair of Gold Toe socks. I had lost. "What's for dinner?"

His face was wreathed in smiles, he bent over and kissed my cock and returned to whatever Martha had done earlier in the day.
Yes, it was good, okay, delicious and having served to me on a bed tray in my own bed added to it. While I did that he got into my closet where my regular masseur kept his table and began to set it up for the after course. Coffee and Brandy, mixed, with his special something which may have been caramel was served then following that, I was carefully laid, face up on the table. No bothering with clothes to cover anything, he just poured out a large hand full of oil, drizzled it on me and he started. Where he learned Shiatsu I'll never know but once he'd finished working my feet I was a goner, anything else he wanted to do, fine with me.  His treatment of my cock and balls was....masterful. It was edging as I'd never been edged which, following my feet, didn't mean much. Sensing I wasn't as compliant as he'd like, he climbed on the table, straddled me, took my nipples in his hands and went back to extracting man juice from my spigot. I was an easy screw and he added my production to another handful of oil and he continued.

Hours later, in the shower to get the oil off, the heated water had an odd smell; I began to smell like a Greek salad. Screaming for Lee, he expected to shower with me, I wanted to know just what he'd put on me. How innocent the guilty can look. He fumbled, but just a bit, "you were out of your massage oil so I used extra virgin olive oil with just a touch of minced garlic."

"You..start scraping me until I smell like me and not some fucking Salad Nicosia. Do I make myself clear? And sat on the bench that had been built in the shower for me to sit on and just let the water run over me.

The oil proved to be a bit more resilient and by the time we got to my hair, the water was showing dangerous signs of running out of hot water. Which it did. More out of anger than desire, I dragged him to the bed room, threw him on his stomach and mounted him like a lion starting on the twelve or fourteen mountings it will take to make sure his seed has been passed. Lucky, isn't it, I had some toys as I was not up to coming for very many times. I selected to pair of cuff links and a dildo made with a mans fist at one end and left him stretched from one end of the bed to the other the dildo, which glowed in the dark, stuffed in him as far as I could go. That night I slept in the guest room. With the door locked.

By morning there was hot water and I managed to get the rest of the olive oil smell out. I also turned Lee lose but not before he got a good spanking with a fraternity paddle I had. "Never", I said, "never again should he call me unless he'd been in some sort accident, he was en route to the hospital and it had clearly been his fault. Then, by all means, call me and I'd teach him a new word, "Contingency Fee".

Several weeks passed, I was assigned to assist a Junior Partner on a case and, as the days of working through briefs and testimony wore on, he more or less insinuated if I didn't mind sex with a man, neither did he. Wondering whether this might be some corporate trap I evaded the question until the next day when he slipped beneath the conference table an blew me. I invited him to my place for the weekend as I knew he lived in a high rise with no pool. 

I asked my buddy the chef to cook a simple meal that would keep in the oven, a salad that would keep in the fridge and some sort of desert which would keep wherever. He slipped in and out with the food, not before we had a nice make out session, and I got ready for Jason, my Junior Partner buddy. Good, well pressed jeans, a lawn shirt that was unbuttoned most of the way South and bare feet-mine are nice and tan. 

Jason arrived carrying a back pack, looking great in mirrored aviators, a sleeveless black shirt, some Tom Selleck shorts and flips which he immediately took off. NO tan feet. 

Dinner was great, simple a sort of man meal plus the good salad, braised corn and desert when we got around to it. I suggested we wait a bit and then go for a swim, it would be dark and I usually didn't bother with a suit....

The phone rang. Rather idly I picked it up and was greeted with a voice from the police station telling me they had Lee and I'd best come down to hear the charges. Infuriated, but trying not to show it, I told Jason to have a swim, find desert and I hoped to be back in very little time. IF however I was delayed, go upstairs, have a shower if he wished and crawl into bed; I'd be with him as soon as possible.

The officer, whom I remembered, asked me if I'd like to see the charges which, as an attorney, I did. Lee, it seems had been arrested when neighbors of his idol heard sounds from the swimming pool and called the cops. Of course they did, it's what I would have done.
The officer, who was a nice guy, saw my predicament-I told him I'd been called away from a dinner party that had some bearing on my career-and agreed to knock the charge down to trespassing from the breaking and entering it had been Handed over the thousand dollar fine, left a note for Lee telling him he owed me a grand and to stay away from me and my house until hell froze over. 

Jason was sound asleep when I got home but I needed a shower, a quick one, to get the grime and what I perceived as jail smell off me before I climbed in beside him. He came to enough to ask what it was to which I mumbled something about an old frat brother drunk....he smiled, said he'd had a couple of those and went back to sleep. It took me a while, and, okay, I removed the covers to check his body further, to get to sleep.

He and I had a pleasant, very pleasant Saturday, swimming, relaxing in the hot tub, making a bachelor's lunch (whatever was edible in the fridge) and much good talk. We had a lot in common, besides where we worked, a couple of friends, all gay, whom we made a note to join us for another afternoon of swimming etc. Without really thinking about it, we'd functioned as a couple and happily so. Certainly working together laid some of the footwork but our own emotions were doing the rest. That night we had a long shower, dried each other, got in bed and just made out. Did we get hot? Worked up? Certainly but we both seemed to realize that maybe we wanted more than just sex. Each of us made a trip to the bathroom to relieve the problem, came back and slipped into bed. We only needed about half the King Size bed.


I hadn't seen or heard for Lee in several weeks and so I let my guard down. It was a Wednesday, I hadn't even gotten ready for bed when the phone rang. Thinking it might be Jason, who was in New York for a meeting, I answered. It was the police department and Lee was again being held until someone, me, came by and arrange for his release. This time it was fairly minor, he'd been found loitering outside the home of his idol. This time the idol was home, saw him and called the police. 

It was my friendly officer who said there were no charges and they'd have him up for me shortly. There was the usual bail, which I paid, (He'd always paid me back.) Once I'd signed, seen him and did whatever else was needed, I took him outside, told him I'd had it, don't bother to call as I wouldn't answer. Got in my car and drove home. The next day at my office I received an obscenely large bouquet of flowers-from Lee-but with a card that only said, "Love, L." Jason wandered by, smelled the flowers, read the card and commented that it was nice to have friends.

I had to tell Jason what and who and why. Fortunately I had all the papers from the police to substantiate what I said. He was always out of control and, until recently, had at least kept things, if not calm, at least calmer. The papers and the call the evening he was at my home were more than enough and that was also the moment he said that his sudden pang of jealously had more to do with his growing feelings for me than the flowers. We hugged and kissed and sail the sort of things lovers to be say.

Jason and I had developed the basis for a strong relationship. He hadn't moved in and I really wasn't ready for someone to live with me. That he was there four nights out of seven was different from moving in. And that closet and bureau with his things? Well, he was here a lot and it was easier to have them here than to run home.

It was a good thing I'd told Jason about Lee as he inadvertently caught the next call. Where I was, I don't remember but I was gone. Jason headed for thee police station equipped with his attorney card and asked that Lee be released to him. The charges this time were back to his trying to climb the Ivy to get over the fence but with the backlog of cases involving him and this man, each was now taken more seriously. The freight to get out had risen to five grand, which Jason paid, and sat waiting patiently for him to appear.

As Jason tells it, Lee was lost as I wasn't there. The only man, beside the desk Sargent was somebody he'd never seen but who did know him. The cops failed to notice that Jason removed him with his arm painfully twisted behind his back. Finding no reason to bring him to my house, he took him to his apartment where he, too, had some things to play with. But, as he said, why go to others when it's something you can do yourself. Did I mention Jason is a Black Belt in several forms of martial arts? I meant to. In short, Jason beat the shit out of him, told him never to come near me again as he was looking at my man and, if there were any further incidents, he would not pay the bail nor allow me to. He then tied him to a chair leg that would take some while to loosen and left. 

Apart from some scuffed knuckles the next time I saw him, all was perfectly fine, we made out until it was dark, went for a swim, fucked by the pool, found food and went to bed. 

The next call came when Jason was out of town-he says he knew that and that might be true. This time, as it was explained to me, he'd been found in the garage of his idol taking souvenirs, as he called them, from his car. The officer said that there was no bail but a hearing was scheduled the next day. In so far as I was concerned, we didn't need the hearing, just go straight to trial and sentencing.

The hearing was as they all are, perfunctory, over quickly and decisive. Since he was a several time looser, the prosecutor asked for remand but the pro bono attorney got bail set IF anyone would put up the 25 Grand. He looked pitifully at me and I looked right back at him. I had the money but this time he needed a lesson that I couldn't teach him.

Jay, as I now called Jason, and I discussed this and mutually agreed that we should do nothing, maybe attend the trial and see what he got. 

What he got was a fine, probation and a warning from the court. I could have wept. He came bouncing up to me as if he'd done a clever trick and asked where we were going? I was going back to my office and as to him? That was his decision. Oh, and I'd changed the locks as well as the code to get in the garage. He looked like he was going to cry and that's when I walked away. Later in the day I told Jay and he, too, was disappointed but we had to see it for what it was, overdone school boy pranks. Unlike some other celebrity stalkers, he'd not hurt anyone, stolen anything save a few trinkets from a glove box.....we could hope he'd stay away although both of us doubted if any lesson had been learned.

The next few weeks were filled with the ordinary things. We'd asked the couple we knew to come over, which they did, my chef buddy joined us, cooked in front of us and was rewarded with a multi-cock fucking. Jay was now with me six out of seven and the only day he wasn't were those days when he had to fly out and his apartment was nearer the airport. We were happy in a quiet way. Evenings in the office across twin desks with our reading glasses on were intimate in a way that only partners might understand. We still loved sex, showering together, swimming nude and were thinking about getting a dog. Or two dogs. 

Lee showed up at my door one Saturday morning and wanted to talk to me and only me. Jay was ready to excuse himself but I insisted that he stay; It was a good thing. Lee was now in serious trouble, he'd been caught in the home of his celebrity and while he hadn't stolen anything, given his history, the District Attorney had said he was tired of these sorts of cases and Lee was going to be warning to all; The state would ask for hard prison time and Lee was terrified. He literally had no one to turn to except me. I was an attorney, I could get him out of this.

Slowly, with the patience you explain something to a three year old, I told him that I was not a criminal attorney and, even if I would agree to take his case, my lack of proceedings, motions etc could hurt him. Same with Jay, even with the two of us. Jay took over saying, if he had the money, we could of course find him criminal attorney, one we knew and trusted, if that's what he wanted. He did and, as I knew, he could afford it and that's what we would do.

That night we talked about what sort of future Lee could expect and the one thing about which he was adamant was that he was out of our lives in general and mine in specific. And then he took me in his arms and said....what about an evening of sex? I almost rolled him on the floor. 

The District Attorney overplayed his hand a bit. One, he didn't expect to face an experienced criminal attorney and, two, it wasn't much of a crime more based on Lee's past incursions, none of which amounted to much of anything. The jury was more annoyed that the case had been brought, or so they told reporters, and Lee was placed on a years parole plus a ten thousand dollar fine. The attorney we got had the charges broken down to misdemeanors and that was about it. We weren't there but his attorney called almost immediately. Jay had one message, do not contact either of us. 

He was moving in that weekend, we were officially declaring ourselves as partners and, to my surprise, I was made a Junior Partner. 

We had made some revisions in the house to accommodate two men although it was large enough that we had never been cramped. We both loved, uhm, water sports and so the bathroom was made much larger with two types of showers, one for steam and another one that did not require a closure as it wound around into quite a large area. Benches built into the wall, some of them long enough for a man to lie on if her were being fucked. Behind a group of tiles which swung open, there were things we enjoyed, cuffs, gags, whips, dildos, the usual. The bedroom had, under the bed, a good display of electrical gadgets that could be used as we wanted. Our favorite was one that fitted over both cocks, stuck up our asses and operated on both of us simultaneously. Couldn't be turned off until the timer ran out and since one of has had both wrists cuffed and attached to the head board and the other one cuff in the same place, it was almost impossible to stop it. Sometimes we played a dice game to see how long we'd suffer and where we'd attach everything. We were usually so turned on by the time we got to setting up and applying all the bits and pieces, getting a sound down our engorged cocks was as easy as just adding a little oil or grease, usually mentholated.

Quietly, we'd invited out chef friend to join us to be "cooked" as well as the couple we'd often entertained. One evening we rigged if for five, with control hung out the window and all of us self manacled, both wrists and ankles. Jay and I had steel collars, not electrified, but just as a reminder of what we had with each other. 

And so we're back to where we started. The S argent offering me coffee as Lee was processed and brought down. This time it was drunk and disorderly which tho annoying I was willing to get him out of. Not that Jay and I didn't talk about it, we did. The one thing we agreed was that I'd call a cab, give the driver a lot of money and tell him to take Lee as far as that would go. 

We're about ready to make love/have sex so I'll leave this out for him to read. I meant to mention it, we love each other.

by Petr-Johan

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