Love-the word that I never felt,word that didn't exist in my life,word that didn't make any difference to me and word that was just like any other normal word to me. Well,I am Kevin Rogers, a 21yo college going boy and this perception was based on the circumstances I grew in. I was brought up in an Orthodox family and though my father worked in a reputed firm, mother being a school teacher, I never came to know the meaning of 'family'. They never had time for me and whatever time was free,they preferred fighting over petty issues rather than paying attention to their only son. Childhood was spent being taken care by a nanny who was a very nice lady but whatever love she gave to me was overpowered by the hatred shown by my parents towards each other.
Those days were difficult for me and I used to rush out of my big home just because I felt suffocated and my feelings strangulated. Birthday presents were always there but the present I wanted deserted me always. Mom n Dad got together for my birthdays but only to greet guests and hugged me as a formality. Those screaming voices made me flee to nearby park where I got
solace and peace.
Inspite of my family problems,I performed well in studies and my grades were what made me a little happy. I had some friends but most of them I knew were with me because I belonged to a rich family,but still I considered them my friends. My expectations were killed long time before by my parents,so this made little difference to me.
One more fact disturbed me. I knew I was gay and my family would never accept me after they come to know about my identity, anyways did they take care of me before? One day after the classes,I was coming home when I heard somebody calling out my name. I turned back and saw Mr.Parker,my arts teacher. He was a favorite amongst the students who liked his sense of humor and friendly behavior. I also liked him but there was something about him that always made my heart beat faster. He was 28 yo, was handsome,had an atheletic build,6'tall,black hair/blue eyes,and kept a rugged look that was emphasized by his stubble. I
walked back to him and greeted him. Even though I liked him but I knew love wasn't made for me.
He smiled and said "I want to talk about something important to you." I wondered what it could be. I asked him "What is it Sir?" to which his reply made me even more confused. He asked me if I had time to go with him to the community park. Mom n Dad never cared about the time I returned home,so I agreed and sat in his car. There was silence before he spoke "Hey bud! Didn't mean to freak you out but I guess you will feel much relaxed after this conversation." I just smiled and got lost in my own thoughts as I didn't realize we had reached our destination. I had heard many students having hook ups with teachers for better grades but I wasn't one of those. I had decided never to fall in any relationship after what all I saw in my formative years. I was brought back to reality by the sound of door opening as I saw Mr.Parker smiling at me.
Getting out of the car,we walked towards a bench. Weather was pleasant and cool breeze made it even better. We sat on the bench and there was a silence before I asked Mr.Parker the reason behind this sudden visit to the park. He turned to me and said "Look I know I don't have any right to intervene in your personal life but I have observed you being sad in classes. You are a bright student and I am concerned about you. I didn't use to open up about my problems,not even my friends who thought I was the happiest dude on campus. Mr.Parker shook my hand and I hid my watery eyes away from him. He patted my shoulders and turned me towards him. "Tell me what is bothering u Kevin",he asked again. I couldn't hold back my tears and soon tears started rolling down my cheeks. The warmth that his words had given me brought out my innermost feelings and I told him everything I had gone through, my parents never had time for me and how lonely I felt. He wiped my tears and hugged me. I sobbed like a baby in arms of him,forgeeting that he was still my arts teacher, but I hadn't felt such calmness ever before. I felt as if a huge boulder was removed from my heart.
He wiped my tears and for the first time, I was so close to Mr.Parker and I could feel his hot breath on my lips. A storm was brewing up outside but it was no different inside, as Mr.Parker leaned in and pressed his lips on mine. I was taken by surprise but I kissed him back and we shared a long passionate kiss. Breaking the kiss, I got up and told him that I was wrong in getting carried away in the moment. He got up and said " You are not wrong. You deserve to be loved and ever since I became your teacher, I was always concerned about you more than any other student, and used to get worried whenever I saw you in a sad mood. I never had a man or woman in my life but I
think I have fallen for you. I love you Kevin." I was overwhemed with emotions.
It wasn't my birthday, but someone was giving me that eluded present,that too my arts teacher who had always been nice to me. I turned to him and said" I appreciate your care and love for me but I had decided not to fall in any relationship ever." He said "Come out of that past Kevin, every relationship doesn't turns out to be like your parents had. I promise I will keep you happy and will love you forever."
My decision fell weaker and I hugged him saying "I love you too Mr.Parker and will love you forever." He embraced me and we shared another passionate kiss. I was feeling as if I had got the biggest present of my life and indeed it was. I was extremely happy. We returned back to the car and he dropped me to my house. He kissed my cheek and I
got down. Elated and excited I opened the door. In front of me, Mom and Dad were standing. I didn't want to spoil my mood and so I proceeded towards my room. Dad called my name and asked me to stop. I wondered what they had to talk about. "You think that we don't have eyes on you. What were you doing with your arts teacher in the Community Park?" My face turned red as I wasn't expecting this scenario on returning home. Mom shrieked " You have let us down. You don't have any care for our feelings?" I guess the volcano that was dormant in my heart was close to eruption and it did. I replied strongly " What about my feelings Mom and Dad? I have the right to be happy and Mr.Parker understands my feelings better than both of you. I knew you would never accept me as a gay person but today I am proud of who I am and my life will be better from now on." Both of them were shocked to see their son retaliating and before they could ask me to get out of the house, I went to my room, packed my bags and left the house. I felt relieved and free like a bird who had found long lost freedom. I called Mr.Parker and told him everything. Moments later he came to pick me up, and I hugged him tight. Tears in my eyes were
of happiness as I had found love
-the word that was missing in my dictionary.
He kissed me on forehead and drove to his house. It was a nice place and though it was smaller than my house, yet it was much more peaceful and beautiful. We entered the house and he gave me a glass of water. He sat next to me and took my hands in his hands. "You did the right thing and don't worry about anything now. I love you not only because you are cute but also because you are a nice person. He carried me in his big arms and we both cuddled together on bed. He kissed my forehead and I put my arms around his neck. Soon I fell asleep thinking what a day it was and this day had given my life a new direction.
End of part1. Kindly, leave your comments so that I can get motivated to write part 2. Part 2 coming soon :)