Colin....
As Cole drove away my heart sank and I knew that I hurt him. It was the last thing I wanted to do but I want him to experience life and there will be many opportunities for him at college. I don't want to face my feelings for him because they are deep. Our friendship developed over a few short weeks and then it became more for both of us. I couldn't let that happen as I wiped my tears. This for me is a lesson of the heart. Monday is going to be a difficult day.
Cole....
I walked into the house and my Mom looked at me and knew something was wrong."Cole, are you alright, it looks like you have been crying?"
"No Mom, I'm not okay and I need to speak with you and Dad."
"You're scaring me Cole but I will call your father he's in the basement."
I was shaking but I knew I had to tell my parents that their son is gay. I knew what I had to say was going to hurt them but I could no longer hide the truth. My Dad came in and I asked them to sit so I could talk to them.
"Mom, Dad, the last thing I want to do is hurt you because I couldn't ask for more loving parents. I have kept this secret to myself for a long time and though I don't want to hurt you I'm hurting myself by not accepting who I am. I'm gay, I have known it for a long time and I'm sorry if I'm not the son you thought I was.
Mom started to cry and Dad spoke...."Cole, are you sure about this?"
"Yes Dad, I'm sure."
"I'm lost for words and this is quite a shock but we love you and we are here for you. This is not what I wanted for you but your happiness is what's important. You have been carrying this secret and dealing with it alone. We are here, we love you and will help you by supporting you."
Mom got up and hugged me and said...."We love you Cole, like your Dad said this is not something that is easy for us but as we process what you have told us, we will always be here for you."
At that moment the dam broke and I began to sob uncontrollably. Mom and Dad held me as our emotions peaked.
"I'm going to lay down for a bit and we will talk more. I'm sorry for this bomb I have dropped on you."
I went into my room and crashed on the bed. After what happened between Colin and me and then telling my folks it was a lot for me to deal with and more so for Mom and Dad. As I drifted off the sleep I felt a sense of peace come over me....I was out and I was relieved. My thoughts then became of Colin and I fell asleep.
*************************************
At dinner we talked and I realized how lucky I was to have such understanding parents. After Colin told me how his parents didn't accept his gay lifestyle I knew that I was blessed. Two of my close friends, Rob and Adam stopped by and we went to my room and I told them that I was gay. They supported me and I was thankful for their friendship.
Rob exclaimed...."Cole, there are a few gay guys that I know and they are super guys."
"Do I know who they are Rob?"
"Justin Porter is one."
"Fuck, no shit. Did he tell you?"
"Um, he did and we messed around. I'm not gay but he gave me a great blowjob."
"Damn, I would never have known."
Adam said...."Just be your best self and be happy Cole."
"Thanks guys, your friendship means a lot to me."
I dreaded Monday and the more I thought about it the more I understood why Colin did what he did. He did it for me because he cared for me and wanted me to experience the freedom of being gay and enjoy college. The hurt I felt became understanding and I felt whole, free to be myself.
I walked into Math class and as soon as Colin saw me he smiled and I smiled back at him.
After class I approached him and said...."Colin, I want you to know that I'm okay, I understand that what you said to me was out of friendship and caring for me. I came out to my parents and it's okay. It's not easy for them but they support me and I can't ask for anything more."
"I'm glad you don't hold any resentment towards me Cole, I do care for you but I want you to be happy. I told you that your parents would understand by the way you spoke of them." As a graduation present I would like to take you to dinner whenever it suits you."
"I would love that and let me get through graduation and I will call you so we can get together."
I have to say my graduation was special due to my parents. They took me out for dinner to celebrate and my Dad gave me the Fatherly speech...."Colin, we are proud of you and all that you have accomplished. Soon you will be leaving for college and new experiences await you. Your Mom and I want you to be happy and we have taught you to be responsible. Be safe and you know what I mean by that. Don't take risks and always protect yourself. "
The following week after graduation I called Colin and asked him if we were still on for dinner....
"Hey Cole, how was graduation?"
"It was great and my parents took me out for a nice dinner celebration. My Dad gave me his Fatherly speech and they have accepted me and are proud of me. I know they worry about me but I know the person I am and they will be even more proud of me in the future."
"Cole, I'm so happy for you. Is this Saturday evening good for you?"
"Saturday is perfect Colin."
"Okay, be at my house at 6PM."
Saturday arrived and I shaved, showered and dressed appropriately for dinner." I was excited to be with Colin again and I hoped he would want to see me on a regular basis when I came home a few weekends each month.
I arrived and Colin was waiting outside for me...."Hey Cole, come on, I'll drive."
He took me to one of my favorite restaurants and we were seated. We were both a little on edge which was to be expected. We started talking and that bond that we shared returned quickly. Our meal was delicious and we talked for almost two hours.
At one point Colin gave me a speech and I chuckled to myself.....
"Cole, I know you are mature but you're going to have new experiences at college. Please be safe and always protect yourself. Drugs and excessive drinking will put a cloud over what you're attending college for. I'm not saying you shouldn't have a great time, but what I'm saying is to always think before you act."
"Thank you Colin and I think I am responsible enough to know right from wrong."
"I know you are Cole, and I'm sure you got the same speech from your parents but giving you advice is done out of love and caring."
We left the restaurant and as we pulled into Colin's driveway a feeling of dread came over me because I didn't want to leave him.
"Cole I would invite you in but I don't think it's a good idea. Let's just say our goodbyes and when you come home, call me so we can keep in touch."
As I drove away it occured to me that when Colin said for us to say our goodbyes, it was an indication to me that the special time we had together was over. I knew there were things that we didn't say to each other, feelings that were repressed and not spoken. In a short time I became aware of Colin's sensitivity, knowing in my heart that there was more to us than just friendship. I hold no hard feelings towards him, in fact I admire him more because he knew I had to experience life and he couldn't and wouldn't take that away from me.
I didn't see Colin again before I left for college and I felt it was best to let time heal us and maybe one day things will be different between us. I was going to call him but then decided it was best not to. I arrived on campus and was assigned my dorm and room number. I unlocked the door and as I checked out the room I heard the shower running. I looked around and the space was cramped with two beds and two desks and a chest of drawers. The door opened to the bathroom and a startled guy came out.
"Shit dude, you scared me."
"Sorry man, I'm Cole, Cole Hunter, and I guess you're my roommate."
"Nice to meet you Cole, I'm Matt Smith."
Of course my eyes went right to the towel wrapped around him and the protrusion sticking out.
"I'm gonna get dressed and then we can talk. You can unpack while I get dressed and the bottom two drawers of the dresser are yours. Your bed to the left and your desk. I will be done in a few minutes."
While Matt was getting dressed I unpacked my stuff and used the dresser drawers that he told me. I added essentials to my desk and connected my PC. He came out and said....
"Hey Cole, do you want to grab something to eat and we can get to know one another?"
"That sounds good to me, let me put my toiletries in the bathroom and then we can go."
We went to a pizza joint, shared a pizza and talked. I thought Matt was cool and I knew we would get along fine. He was down to earth, friendly and funny too. After we finished eating we walked around the Campus and then stopped at a bench and talked more.
"What are you going to major in Cole?"
"Biology and Health Sciences....two majors. I am taking the DPT program. I want to be a Physical Therapist."
"Good for you, I want to be a Trauma Nurse so I guess we are both going into the medical field. My major will be in Nursing Science."
"I think we have a lot in common Matt, good for you too."
"I'm not really into the party scene Cole and I want to focus on my studies. It's not that I am a hermit but I want to excel and get good grades."
"Hmmm, I had a friend that always told me to excel in whatever I did. He taught me a lot, especially to be my best self."
"He must have been a good friend."
"He was, I mean he is." My thoughts suddenly were of Colin.
We got back to our room and I took a shower and when I finished Matt was laying on the bed in his briefs and I couldn't help but notice his sizable bulge. He noticed me staring...
"Hey Cole, I always hang around in my briefs, I like the freedom" as he laughed.
"Hey man, not a problem" and I dropped the towel exposing myself."
"Wow, nice dick but it's not as big as mine Cole."
"It's not about the size Matt, it's how you use it."
I put on my boxers and I laid on the bed and we talked. Matt turned sideways rubbing his cock.
"So Cole, what is your sexual preference, guys or chicks?"
"That's a loaded question."
"OKay, I will go first then. I'm not straight, gay or bi, I am fluid."
"Fluid...what do you mean by that?"
"It means that I go with the flow and I have had sex with guys and girls. It's what strikes me at the moment."
"I'm gay Matt....100% gay."
"Cool, do you want to mess around?"
Matt took his briefs off and said...."why don't you come over here and we can get better acquainted."
I took my boxers off and laid next to him on his bed. I took hold of his cock and it was big and so thick. He took mine and said..."Nice cock, we are going to be having some fun."
He was already spewing precum and I had to taste it so I licked the head of his cock and savored his taste. He moaned, enticing me to suck his cock. It was so thick that it was stretching my mouth so I relaxed and took him almost down to his pubes. I gagged but went back for more....
"Fuck yeah Cole, you know how to suck cock."
I sucked his balls and then went back to his cock and I could tell he was close so I intensified using all the skills that Colin had taught me.
"Cole, slow down or I'm going to come."
I wanted his load and I began jacking him and sucking him at the same time.
"Fuck, Cole I'm cumming....Oh fuck yeah, mmmmm, yeeeeeeeees."
He was a shooter and he shot several wads of cum and I swallowed each one loving the taste and texture. I finished him off and cleaned his cock of any remnants still oozing out of him.
"Geez Cole, where did you learn to suck cock like that?"
"Believe it or not Matt, I have only been with one guy."
"Thanx man, it was the best blowjob I've ever had. I'm not good at sucking cock, I'd rather receive than give and I don't bottom either. That may sound selfish but I'm being truthful."
"That's cool Matt, thanks for being honest with me."
I got in bed and I layed there with the taste of Matt's cum in my mouth. My mind drifted to Colin and I suddenly realized how much I missed him. I closed my eyes and soon I drifted off to sleep
Matt and I both got into our studies and we messed around a few times but it was more of a one way street with him and it sort of turned me off. After what I shared with Colin, I realized that this was not what I wanted. Matt hooked up with a girl he was interested in and that was basically the end of our sexual encounters.
The weeks passed quickly and Thanksgiving was approaching and I couldn't wait to head home to enjoy Mom's cooking. I would be home for five days and I was debating whether I would call Colin or not. I arrived home the day before Thanksgiving and Mom fussed over me with warm hugs and I have to say it felt good. Dad was funny and joked with me, making comments questioning my virginity. He had no idea about Colin.
I decided that night to call Colin...."Hello" "Colin it's Cole, how are you?"
"Cole, it's so good to hear from you, how is college life?"
"It's good and I was wondering if we could get together."
"I'd like that Cole, can you come to my place this evening?"
"I can and would 7PM work for you?"
"That's fine, looking forward to seeing you."
I hung up and I had those butterflies in my stomach that Colin always gave me. I couldn't wait to see him and at supper I wanted to talk to Mom and Dad....
"Mom, Dad, would you mind if I invite someone to Thanksgiving dinner?"
'Of course Cole, is it someone we know?"
"It's my Math teacher from high school. We became friends and he is probably alone for Thanksgiving. I haven't asked him yet because I wanted to be sure I asked you first. I spoke to him last night and I am going over to visit him this evening."
"Dad said....'If he is your friend then he is welcome to join us Cole." I almost laughed because he replied to me with a smirk on his face thinking about my request.
I left for Colin's and as I pulled into the driveway I became jittery wondering how Colin would approach me and if our time apart put a damper on what we had shared. I rang the doorbell and when Colin opened the door all those feelings that I had for him surfaced.
"Cole, man it's good to see you" as he hugged me.
He smelt so good and his breath on my neck made my knees go weak...."It's good to see you too Colin" as our embrace continued.
"Come in, can I get you something to drink?"
"I could go for a beer if you have one."
"Coming right up, sit and make yourself comfortable."
We sat nursing our beer and he asked...."So tell me about College, how is it going and have you connected with anyone?"
"Wow Colin, three heavy questions. College is great, I am deep into my studies and my roommate is a great guy. He asked me if I was into guys or chicks and I told him that I was gay. He said he wasn't straight, gay or bi but that he was fluid. I didn't know what he meant and he said that it was the ability to flow and change easily. We messed around a few times but it was one way with him and I soon realized that was not what I wanted.
"I think that knowing you the way I do that would not be something that was right for you. I have had different experiences and there were only a few that I can say made me want to go back for more. Gay relationships are not always easy so you have to keep searching for that one special person."
"I hear you Colin and I have found that one special person."
"Oh, I didn't realize that you found someone."
"Don't you know it's you Colin, it has always been you. I knew it when we met because you are my destiny. You don't have to say anything and I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable."
"Oh Cole, I don't know what to say."
"Say something Colin."
"I thought I had made myself clear when you left for college. I'm seeing someone Cole!"
"Oh, I think I just made a fool of myself."
"You didn't make a fool of yourself and I'm sorry if I hurt you. I thought and hoped that you would meet people and enjoy new experiences."
"I'm going to go Colin, take care of yourself and I hope that you're happy in your new relationship."
"Please, you don't have to leave."
"It's best that I do, goodbye Colin."
I left and as I drove I realized that what I felt for Colin, those feelings weren't felt by him. I became depressed and needed to be alone to wallow in self pity. I walked into the house and my Dad took one look at me and knew something was wrong.
"Cole, are you okay?"
"No Dad I'm not and I need to be alone."
I went up to my bedroom and laid on the bed with tears pouring down my face. How could I make such a fool of myself. I fell asleep and woke up with a knock on my door.
"Cole, can I come in?"
"You can come in Dad."
"Talk to me son, what's troubleing you? you were fine when you left the house."
"In my senior year, I became intimate with my Math teacher. I started doing some yard work for him and one thng lead to another and we ended up having sex but it was so much more than just sex. I thought that we fit together and that eventually things would get serious between us. He is the one who told me I had to enjoy new experiences and enjoy college."
"I have to choose my words carefully. It sounds like your teacher is very responsible and only wants the best for you. You're only eighteen and you have so much living to do Cole. It saddens me to see you like this."
"I know Dad and I made a fool of myself because I told Colin how I felt and he told me he was seeing someone."
"There is nothing I can say that will make you feel better right now but time has a way of healing the deepest wounds. You will move on and the sun will shine for you again."
He wrapped his arms around me and we both cried. I was blessed to have a Dad that loved me unconditionally.
"I love you Dad and thank you for this conversation."
"Why don't you call Rob and Adam and get together with them."
"I think I will do that, thanks Dad."
I called Rob and Adam and within a half hour they were at my house. We went up to my bedroom and I told them what had happened but I didn't say who I was involved with. I just said it was someone I met that was older than me.
Rob said....I'm not an expert at giving advice Cole, but you have to let this go. What are you looking for?"
"I'm looking for someone that I can connect with, not someone just to have sex with."
Rob thought for a minute and then said...."You will meet someone when the time is right and apparently this is not the right time or the right person for you."
"Maybe you're right but all I feel right now is emptiness."
Adam didn't say much but he hugged me and that was all he had to do to let me know he understood. We talked for a few hours and having true friends when the chips are down makes the gloom more bearable.
The next day, Mom was busy preparing the Turkey and Dad and I watched football. My Grandparents arrived and my Grandmother and Grandfather were so happy to see me. We sat down to eat and the food was delicious. For the next few days I hung out with Rob and Adam and then headed back to college.
When I got back Matt was glad to see me and I told him what had happened.
He put his arm around me and said...."Dude, if you don't start getting out you're never going to meet someone. My new girlfriend is having a party at her house tonight and you're coming with me."
"I'm really not up to parties right now Matt. Get your ass ready, your coming with me."
That was a turning point for me and I met a lot of great guys and girls too. I wouldn't say I was a cock hound but I enjoyed some great sex. I never connected with anyone but I knew that it was okay and when the time was right it would happen for me.
Four years later
I excelled in my studies and I only had two more years before I graduated. I didn't go home as often and I had a great group of friends. My thoughts were always of Colin but I had come to terms with the fact that it wasn't meant to be.
Christmas approached and I was looking forward to spending time with my parents. I had shopping to do so I headed to the mall and I was just about done and had purchased something for Mom, Dad, my Grandparents and also Rob and Adam. As I was walking out of one of the stores someone tapped me on the back....I turned around and there was Colin looking handsome as ever....
"Cole, man it's good to see you" as he hugged me and wished me a Merry Christmas.
"Hey Colin, it's good to see you too and Merry Christmas."
"Man, you look different Cole with your hair cut shorter, it becomes you. I like the 5 O'Clock shadow too."
"Thanx Colin, where is your other half?"
"My other half? Oh, that didn't work out and it's fine."
"Sorry Colin, someone told me that when the time is right we all find that special person."
"Well, I did meet that special person Cole but I let him slip away because of my insecurities."
"How about a hot chocolate at Santa's workshop, my favorite Math teacher?"
"Sounds good Cole, maybe I should sit on Santa's lap and tell him what I want for Christmas."
"And what might that be Colin?"
"I would tell him that I have been good and all I want is Cole for Christmas."
The shock of what Colin said had me speechless and I stood there trying to respond. I finally looked at him, our eyes connecting and both of us feeling sparks that reignited the fire that we once shared.
"I think Santa has already chosen me as your Christmas present."
"We drank our hot chocolate and Colin said...."Come home with me Cole."
"Colin, what kind of a guy do you think I am?"
"My kind of guy, so follow me home."
"I guess I'm easy....Okay I will follow you, meet me at the front entrance of the mall."
We walked into Colin's house and one kiss fueled what was meant to be between us and we were tearing our clothes off. Almost five years of wanting each other finally was happening.
"Cole, I've missed you, I need to feel you, I need to be inside you."
We laid on the bed and Colin didn't want to just have sex, he wanted to make love to me and that he did. We sucked each other's cocks, he rimmed me and then he took me and made me his....His cock entered me, his sensuous lips on mine had a story of their own. My legs wrapped around him as he fucked me but what made it different was the intimacy we were sharing.
"Ahh Colin, I love you"
"I love you too Cole and I think I have loved you since the first time I caught you staring at my crotch."
"I knew we were meant to be, now fuck me."
He fucked me with such intensity but also with love and as he sucked on my nipples my toes curled again and I knew I was home."
"Ahh fuck Cole, I'm goning to blow." Oh man, fuuuuuuuuuk, yeeeeeeeeees"
"Me too, I'm cumming babe, Ooooooooooooh, fuuuuuuuuuuuck me."
We collapsed soaked in sweat and cum. He began licking my cum from my belly and then shared it with me in a deep provocative kiss, sharing my cum sealing us together that would culminate into a lifetime together.
We laid together and Colin eyes filled with tears...."Are you okay babe?"
"I am fine Cole, I have loved you for so long but I couldn't tell you because I was most concerned about your happiness. Our age difference doesn't bother me anymore."
"My happiness is here with you Colin
Colin had Christmas dinner with my parents and we told them our love story. Colin said our story was Lessons of the Heart and Mom and Dad fell in love with Colin as I did.
*********************************************
Three years later
I graduated from College and obtained employment at a Physical Therapy Clinic. Colin continued teaching Math and I moved in with him. It was on a very special Christmas Eve that Colin asked me to marry him....
"Cole, I will love you, be your best friend, and I will share all I have with you until the day I die."
"Colin, you are part of me, the best part and I love you, you are my bestfriend and I will love you until the day I die."
The End.....
Quote for thought....Waiting is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can feel love for someone but not everyone can wait and prove it's true....
