Intersex: Noun
1: a term used to describe people who are born with biological sex characteristics that don’t fit the binary of male or female. These characteristics can include reproductive organs, anatomy, hormones, or chromosomes. Intersex traits may be apparent at birth, or they may not appear until puberty or adulthood.
Ash
Ricky and Carla were somehow connected. But how?
Oh, god.
How could this happen? Ricky was perfect. He was amazing. He was sweet and kind, smart, funny, hot as hell, and as horny as a snake. There was nothing about him to indicate that he had anything to do with Carla–unless he was hiding something.
Oh, god.
My coworkers were friends outside of work. They hated Carla. We all hated Carla. She made our lives miserable every chance she got and I was her favorite victim. It never occurred to me to ask how Ricky fit into the group. What if he and Carla were working together? What if all of this, everything Ricky did, all of the sweet things he said–what if it was all some sick, twisted revenge plot by Carla? What if Ricky was helping her?
Oh, god.
I had to go. I needed time and space to think. My brain kitties were playing zoomie pinball inside my skull. I held back a panic attack by sheer force of will as I carefully slipped out of Ricky’s embrace. I tiptoed silently around the room collecting my clothes from where we tossed them in our wild, gleeful passion.
Was it wild and gleeful, really? Or part of some sick plan?
I cursed under my breath as I followed the trail of clothes out into the living room. I found everything save for the pair of sexy red underwear that Alejo bought for me. I looked everywhere with a growing sense of urgency. I wanted to be gone before Ricky woke up. I swore under my breath. “Where could they be?”
Then it hit me. I followed a hunch and peeked into the den where Gwenny slept in her kennel. She chewed my shoes and socks to pieces after I left last time and sure enough she lay there licking the crotch of my expensive underwear like some canine pervert. I crept closer, hoping to snatch them away before she could chew them up.
She growled at me and braced to run with my red underwear clenched in her teeth, waving them at me like I was a damn bull. I played it smart. I found the box of treats, whispering “c’mere Gwenny, I'll trade you a treat for my nasty underwear.”
She dropped down on her forepaws with her ass in the air, tail wagging. I could just hear the little bitch yelling in my thoughts “Toro! Toro!”
I jumped for it and she darted between my legs.
My naked legs.
My naked balls.
My naked asshole.
I only just managed to keep from squealing in shock as silky soft dog hair rubbed my sensitive nuts and asshole in a frankly indecent manner. I whirled about just in time to see Gwenny’s tail vanish around the corner into the kitchen.
We went around and around the dining table before she broke away and raced through the living room. I rushed back through the kitchen to cut her off at the pass, only the clever little bitch doubled back into the dining room behind me.
I cornered her in the pantry. She bolted through my legs again but this time I clamped my knees and trapped her. She backtracked quickly and squeezed past my side. I hooked my finger in the underwear as she passed and held on.
Doggedly.
She was a strong little cuss. She tugged me out into the open floor of the dining room, shaking her head and growling playfully. I dug in my heels and prayed that expensive fabric held out. I hissed between my teeth, “Let go you little HUSSY!”
I froze when I heard Ricky’s laugh. He stood naked in the kitchen, propped on one leg with a crooked smile on his face, gorgeously scruffy and disheveled.
“You can call her a ‘bitch’ you know. That’s kind of what she is,” he smirked with amusement.
I tore my gaze from him and focused my ire on my hairy adversary. “My mama raised me to be nice to children and little animals but I’m starting to change my mind!”
Ricky pointed at the floor and called out in a commanding tone of voice, “Gwenny.”
She released her hold at once and sat obediently at his side. I squawked in surprise and landed hard on my butt, glaring hotly as Gwenny proceeded to lick her privates with entirely too much satisfaction.
“Bitch,” I huffed as I got back to my feet and rubbed my sore butt.
Ricky reached for me with a throaty chuckle. “Why are you up and chasing my dog through the house?”
I broke from his grasp and stepped away to examine my underwear. If I let Ricky touch me, if I looked at him, then I would break and I couldn’t afford to break–not now. I grumbled, “I found the little -bitch- chewing on my underwear!” I glared as Gwenny looked up at me, licking her chops. I’d swear she was laughing at me. I gave up with a frustrated huff. “They look okay but now they’re slobbery and hairy!”
Ricky reached for me again with a sexy, “come hither” smile that made my belly flutter with anticipation. “Throw ‘em in the wash for later. You won’t need them for a while. I’m not done with you yet.”
My knees wobbled at the growly sound of his voice but I held firm. “I’ve got to go.”
“Go? Why? It’s Sunday.” He furrowed his brow.
“I promised to meet Trevor for lunch.”
“That’s hours from now. We have plenty of time.” He reached again but paused. “Ash, what’s wrong?”
Shit, I needed time to think through what I wanted to say. I risked saying the wrong thing or saying it the wrong way. If I was online typing this conversation, I would have an opportunity to think through my response. I could type out my line and edit to make sure I said only what I wanted to say in the way I wanted to say it, but here, now, I might blurt something out in anger or say something meaner or in a nastier way than I intended. Communicating in-person was much more dangerous. It was final and terrifying. I needed to know what was going on between Ricky and Carla and I could not afford mistakes. I kept pushing Ricky away, “Nothing’s wrong, I just have a lot to do before I meet Trevor.”
“There is something wrong, I hear it in your voice–you’re upset.” He stiffened with realization. “You were going to do it again. You were going to run off before I woke up.” I could hear the pain in his next words and it nearly crushed me. “I thought everything was good between us. I thought you liked last night–what we did. Did I hurt you? Did I push you too hard, too fast?”
I twisted my underwear in my hands. “Ricky….”
“Whatever it is, we can talk about it–”
“No, we can’t.”
“Why not?” He pleaded.
“I might say something I’ll regret.”
“Why–?”
“Cuz I’m too pissed right now!”
“Pissed, why are you–Ash, just talk to me!”
I pushed past him, he caught me by the wrist, and I snapped. “Because you left a picture of Carla on your end table and I saw it!” The dam of fury burst after that and swept me away in an emotional flood. “Did she put you up to it? Did she tell you what to say? Sweet talk the desperate little nerd then yank the fucking rug out from under him? Were you gonna get together later and have a big laugh at how stupid I was to think somebody like you would be into a puny little freak like me? It’d be just like that sadistic bitch to set this up but I expected more from you! I thought–” I blurted out in a ramble that outdid any of my previous legendary rambles, until the rage bled out and only tears remained.
“Fuck this shit!” I had to get away. He was too close. I was too exposed. I shoved him away only it felt like shoving a brick wall. He pinned me tightly against him, my arms bound at my sides. I struggled wildly, the shame and heartbreak pouring out of me in wracking sobs.
“I’m not letting you go, not like this.” Ricky spoke calmly against my ear. He whispered soothing words that I faded into the distance and it suddenly hit me what he was doing.
Compression.
Despite my terror and panic only moments ago, my emotions calmed, my thoughts slowed until I rested my head on Ricky’s shoulder in a dreamy stupor. I felt safe in his embrace. His scent was everywhere and it said “home” to my rootless soul.
“I’m going to let you go now. I only want to talk. Do you understand?”
“Yeah,” I heaved a forlorn sigh. He rubbed my back soothingly and stepped away, only a few inches but I could have put more distance between us had I wanted.
“Okay, let’s get the bighest question out of the way first. So, you obviously know my mom.”
I frowned, my brain slow to reboot. “Your mom?” I asked.
“Yeah, Carla?”
I stiffened with a gasp and looked up at him. Deep inside my heart broke. Noooooooo.
My lips trembled with grief to utter the sound. “Carla is your…mom?”
“You didn’t know? Nobody told you?” He put the pieces together with a muttered “shit. Here I felt so lucky that you chose to give me a chance, that you wouldn't hold it over me like everyone else has.”
“Maybe we’d better start from the beginning” I leaned back against the counter. “How did you end up gaming with Esteban and the others? Everybody hates Carla. Shit, now I feel bad saying that. She’s your mom.”
“Don’t feel bad.” Ricky heaved a forlorn sigh. “Anyway, they didn’t hate Mom in the beginning. She used to take me when they got together and gamed. I knew what she was up to but Esteban and the others made me feel welcome. They became the kind of family I never had. Then Carla did what Carla always did. She torched every friendship she had until we were alone. Again. Only this time I was old enough to decide for myself. I told Esteban that I wanted to keep coming to the game if he would have me. I was blind by then so he offered to pick me up and bring me home. The rest you know.”
“So, you know what your mom did to me? You hid that she was your mom from me?” I said it harsher than I intended but I couldn't take it back.
“I don’t know anything specific. I only know what she always does to people.” He said.
“Explain.” I demanded.
“Sit, I’ll make coffee.” He started while I took a seat at the breakfast counter. Putting coffee on led to feeding Gwenny, then walking her. We dressed and sipped coffee while strolling around the block. Ricky told me the whole sorry tale along the way.
“My mom suffers from mental illness. She was diagnosed soon after I was born with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In the beginning she is charming and charismatic. Everybody is taken in by her magnetic personality.”
“Are we talking about the same woman?” I muttered sourly but he nodded.
“Yeah, when she wants to be, Carla is amazing. The problems start right away, though. She becomes controlling and manipulative, she demands loyalty and sacrifice from others but she won’t give in kind. She only thinks about herself. She is the only one that matters. Rules and consequences don’t apply to her, and she’s at her worst when she feels threatened. You threaten her.”
“Okay, that sounds like the bitch I know. Sor–”
“Ash, don’t say it. I know. My mom is an egotistical, selfish, self-centered bitch. You may work with her but I grew up with her.”
“God, Ricky, how did you survive through all that?” I asked. He stopped and grew reflective.
“Nobody left me alone with her for long. My dad married her for one reason, to gain joint custody of me. Carla went along with it, dreaming about attending swank social parties in D.C. on the arm of an interpreter for the State Department. It sounded important and my mom wanted very badly to be someone important. What she didn’t know at the time was that my dad moved around–a lot. He went where he was needed from trade negotiations between heads of state to tents in the desert with Afghan chieftains. My dad worked closely with ambassadors but he was never part of the ambassadorial staff. His job wasn’t ‘glamorous’ enough for Carla so they divorced four months after I was born.”
“So, you lived with your dad’s family?” I pictured little Ricky toddling after his father in the desert. He shook his head.
“My dad was Lebanese-Armenian, born in America after his parents immigrated. They later died from a shooting in their store. Dad had no living relatives that anyone could track down. He bounced around in the foster system until he aged out.”
“Like me,” I realized.
Ricky smiled at that. “It was one of the things that attracted me to you.”
That was so cool. I wondered if his dad and I might get along–but that was a question for another day. There was still so much I didn’t know. “So your dad left you with Carla? Didn’t he know what she was like?” I imagined sleeping in the same bed as Carla and almost threw up.
Ricky nodded, “he knew, but he had no steady home to offer me. He considered retiring from the service, but then he would have lost his government medical plan and his clout with the State Department, both of which I benefited from as his child. He stipulated mandatory visitation in the divorce settlement. He also demanded that Carla and I attend weekly therapy sessions until I turned 18. That was how they diagnosed Carla as NPD.”
“So, it was just you and her?” I couldn’t help the disgust that filtered through my voice. Ricky snorted
“Hell no! I grew up with my stepmom, Selma.”
“Selma!?!” I lurched to a halt. “How the hail does she figure into this?” I was so shocked that my inner redneck came out.
Ricky faced me in silence for a long moment. “You know Selma?”
“She’s my boss!” I flailed dramatically, not that he could see that.
“Ah, so you weren’t the only one they kept in the dark.” He smiled as some cryptic piece of the puzzle fell into place. “Selma is my stepmom. She and Carla were married for eight years.”
“What The Actual Fuck?” I gaped, stunned as flaming parakeets from hell burned my last nerve to the ground with shrieking glee. I palmed my face at the absurdity of it all. “None of y’all thought I might need to know about this?”
“I’m telling you now.” Ricky pointed out. “I can’t say why the others kept you in the dark, but I have my suspicions.”
“Please enlighten me?” I implored him.
He reached for my hand and drew me as close as he could on a public sidewalk. “I’ve been alone since the accident, Ash.” He spoke softly. “I didn’t trust anyone enough to let them into my life. It has been…lonely. They care about me. They worry, especially Esteban and Selma. Maybe they saw something in you. Maybe they hoped we might make a connection. Maybe they didn’t tell you that Carla was my mom because they were afraid you might not want to get close to me if you knew, maybe let Carla scare you away. She’d like that.” He darkened and I wondered about that. Before I could ask, he pressed on.
“I don’t think anyone meant harm, Ash. I think they were playing matchmaker and hoping for us to make a connection.”
He caressed my face until our foreheads touched. We breathed the same air as he spoke with hope aching in his voice. “Have we, Ash? Have we made a connection?”
My cheeks bloomed red as my dirty mind took his words in a completely inappropriate direction. I couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled past my lips. “We ‘connected’ plenty last night, doncha think?”
He caressed my ear before kissing it, then licking the shell. He whispered. “We still have time to ‘connect’ a little more before you leave. That is, if we’re okay?”
“Ricky…” I shivered all the way down to my toenails. “I don’t know, Carla is a hell of a lot. What you’re asking of me….”
“Ash, I will never put you in a position where you have to see her or be nice.” Ricky assured me. “Carla and I don’t do holidays. I don’t even call her my mom. Carla was my ‘incubator’ and I can barely stand to be in the same room with her. Hell, I didn’t even know there was a picture of her on my nightstand until now. She must have put it there without telling me. God, but she drives me nuts!”
“Yeah, that’s enough about Carla for now.” I agreed with a heavy sigh.
Ricky looked pensive. “So, what now?”
That was a very good question. “I need to think about all this for a while but until then, I guess we can go back to your apartment and ‘connect’ some more.”
He blinked with surprise, but then broke into a huge, roguish smile. “I’d like that!”
We made it back to the apartment in record time. Gwenny barked happily, jumping to catch as we threw off our clothes in a wildly hugging, hungrily kissing, wall-banging, paintings crashing, cyclonic dance of passion from the front door all the way down the hall to Ricky’s bedroom. We paused long enough to take off Gwenny’s leash and slam the door in her face before Ricky tossed me on my back, naked on his bed. He crawled on top of me, equally naked and pinning me under his weight while we kissed lazily. I savored as his muscular weight pressed me into the mattress. It felt soothing and comforting to me, like how compression turned off my racing thoughts but with the additional thrill of doing something indecent. Whatever it was, I felt safe and loved in Ricky’s arms, as if he bodily shielded me from the cruelty of the world. Still, I made a half-hearted attempt to escape just to listen to his deep-throated chuckling. He had me and he knew it.
“Oomph!” I pushed at his chest, unable to hide the smile in my voice. “Get off me, you brute! You’re like a chunk of lead!”
“But I like it here,” he said with a breathy growl. I turned my head toward him with a gasp as he licked the shell of my ear. That gasp turned into a needful whimper when he dug inside with his tongue. I could not lay still under him. My chest heaved with every breath, my blood pumped hotly in my veins. I dug my hard cock into his belly as he did mine. His cock was so much bigger than mine.
So. Much. Bigger.
I needed it. I needed him. I needed him like I needed to breathe. My whole body broke into a sweat, trembling with excitement and fearful vulnerability. It shocked me how another man controlled my body so utterly and yet I craved that control on a level my youthful mind could not comprehend. I only knew how much I craved it. I would do anything, say anything, to have Ricky like this forever. I uttered an unseemly sound when Ricky kissed down the column of my neck. He added more teeth marks to those he sucked into my skin last night. I bared more of my throat to him, my eyes fluttering shut as the pleasure overwhelmed me.
He pinned my wrists open to either side of my head and dragged down my neck with his stubbly cheek. The curls of his hair tickled my skin in his wake, striking my tender nerves with tiny arcs of lightning. I sensed the nearness of his lips as the heat of his breath sank into my pores. Ricky pecked my skin with his lips here and there, the randomness of it driving me wild with anticipation. Finally, he reached my armpit and inhaled deeply. I arched my back to meet him as he lapsed into a fit of licking, growling, and rubbing his face against my pit as if my animal scent drove him past all human civility. I writhed under him equally lost in the moment. I marked him as my own as he did to me, two rutting beasts laying claim to each other. My nipples nearby tempted Ricky and he lept from one to the other, worrying each with his teeth, his tongue, and his lips until they stood swollen and painfully erect, glistening with spit, throbbing, tender and hot.
“Oh, God, Ricky!” I cried his name as he repeated his delicious torture at my untouched armpit. He kissed my nipples again on his way down my heaving belly.
My cock was small, around four inches but I was pleased with my girth. Still, Trevor and Alejo barely noticed it, preferring to spend all of their time on my ass. Ricky was different.
My blind lover-boy got off on my little dick. I laughed at the pleased little noise he made when he found me leaking like a faucet. Of course, like a properly sadistic lover he focused on everything else “down there” but my cock but I didn’t complain–much. Okay, I begged him like a blubbering baby. I forgot what I was begging for, only that I wanted more of him–constantly more, greedily so. I wept and cried as he finally sucked my cock into his mouth.
“It’s just the right size to fit on my tongue,” he explained last night. “I can do anything I want to you and still breathe.” He said just before swallowing my cock to the root in one swift move. I threw my head back with a strangled gasp of surprise and woke up back in the present moment, where I clutched Ricky’s hair for dear life, my legs splayed wide in erotic supplication.
Ricky knelt at the side of the bed and pulled my thighs to rest on his broad shoulders. He wrapped his powerful arms around my hips and yanked me closer, where he traveled between my cock, my balls, and my twitching, restless hole with his mouth.
“Mmm…you taste so good,” he smacked his lips in filthy satisfaction. “I can eat you out all day and all night.”
“Please…” I begged, my breaths hitching with every wet, dirty pull of his lips against my tumescent flesh. I twisted the bedding in my fists, I whimpered uncontrollably as Ricky drew me to the brink of eruption. I shoved my cock deep into his mouth. My climax rose inside me, I braced to gaze upon the glory of heaven, I reached for the hem of God’s robe when Ricky snatched me back screaming, only to suck on my balls or probe into my forbidden depths with his tongue, starting my climb all over again. I wept and cried, I cursed his name, I cried out my love, I begged for mercy and for him to never stop. I could never make up my mind as he kept short-circuiting my brain with ecstasy. Ricky was my beloved jailor, my benign Inquisitor, the beginning and the end of my pleasure.
He pushed me deeper onto the bed and climbed atop me, kissing my tears away and shushing my cries. “I’ve got you,” he slid my legs gently back onto his shoulders. He hooked his arms under my shoulder blades and rubbed his thumbs along the back of my neck. “It’s all worth it, you’ll see. I’m going to make you feel so good.”
We kissed deeply as he lined up his beast of a cock. All of his earlier attention paid off as he slid inside me with ease, at least until he reached the fattest part of his shaft at the base. I winced through it until his balls twitched restlessly against my ass. I breathed in his ear, “you feel so good inside me.”
His cock swelled harder at my words. “I’m never leaving you, Ash. I live here now.” He said as he pulled slowly back, only to stab deeply. I gasped as he reached places inside me that no one else ever touched.
We made love until we could no longer hold back. After that, he fucked me like a rutting bull until I screamed his name. He showed off his endurance by sitting back in the pillows and calling me to ride him. That was fun! We dared each other to say the filthiest things we could dream up. We came each time and it sank in that Ricky was as insatiable for sex as I was obsessed with it. We talked through our mutual embarrassment about it and decided that we would be each other’s guilty pleasure. No shame, no guilt, we could ask for sex from each other anytime we liked. I think I fell harder for him after that.
We came three times in the bed, once in the shower, and then I sucked him off at the front door. Afterward, we hugged so long at the door that I was tempted to cancel with Trevor and stay.
I felt like I was leaving part of my soul behind. Ricky tightened his hold with his final words. He kissed my ear, whispering “Ash, don’t let Carla win. Don’t leave me alone in the dark. Come back soon, please?”
Oh, god, my heart! “I will, I promise.” I pressed one final kiss to his lips. I stepped away and he held on until our fingers slipped apart.
Damn Carla. Damn Carla all to hell.
To be continued…
AUTHOR NOTE: No two intersex people are alike. Ash’s symptoms reflect the experience of one person save where mentioned.
SPECIAL NOTE: I write in an imaginary world where sexually transmitted diseases do not exist. Sadly, they do in the real world. Stay safe. PrEP before you play and glove it before you love it.
