Jason Slade

“This is a new Jason, and for you, this Jason is versatile.”

That’s what he told me that first night after the fall, and he meant it, too. Our problem was with a position that was comfortable for both of us. No matter how much I wanted to feel him inside me, we couldn’t risk re-injuring him. Plus, with my badminton practice, his physical therapy, and our heavy exam schedule, we were only able to get a few blowjobs to help placate us for our lack of anal intimacy.

Hand-jobs were another story. I was able to get one of those in easily. All it took was a full bladder on his part, and my hand was at the ready to hold his hose so he could pee into the bottle. A few extra tugs and he was standing at attention. We made a game of seeing whether he could unload into the bottle. Sometimes I ruined the game by collecting his seed with my mouth. He lost those games, but I don’t think it truly bothered him.

Helping him use the bedpan to empty his bowels was a completely different sensation. As I watched his anus open to allow the feces to exit, I was amazed at how it held itself open and then tightened at regular intervals. I began to question whether one could voluntarily control that action. I wanted to do some research, but I had no time to do so. I made a note; perhaps the chance to use that topic for a research paper would come up later. I did become an expert at getting gloved and washing his ass after he finished his business. Would I have done this if I hadn’t been in love? I thoughtfully contemplated the situation, and the answer was a resounding ‘no.’ However, I have to admit that my gloved finger did sometimes slip inside his hole. He never seemed to mind.

Each time I cleaned shit from his ass cheeks, I made a mental note to pound him a little more forcefully, that is, if I ever got the chance to pound him. I couldn’t wait for his braces to come off.

While Jason was in recovery, I had a total of two serious propositions. Well, maybe it was actually one. A man and a woman had tried to get me to go to their room within ten minutes of each other. They turned out to be brother and sister. I discovered that when they came back together when each had failed when alone. I couldn’t believe what they were asking me to do, and they seemed surprised that I wasn’t interested in joining them. They were very clear as to who would be doing what to whom. I wasn’t interested in a three-way with any mix of genders, but I honestly found the incest aspect of it to be creepy. I decided to hold off on sharing any of that with Jason.

Time did seem to go by more quickly than I had expected, and the day before Thanksgiving, Jason’s shoulder braces came off. Serious rehabilitation was about to start, but the doctor gave us the green light for mild intimate activities. We rode a bus back to campus, and Jason insisted I shower and change into some nice, casual clothes for the evening.

When I knocked on the door of his room, I expected him to pull me inside for a little dancing and our first chance for him to make love to me.

Instead, he practically knocked me out of the way to get into the hall and lock the door. “We’re going to celebrate in style.” He kissed my cheek. “You look really nice, by the way.”

“What do you have up your sleeve?”

“Just an arm that’s been through a lot and is on the road to recovery,” Jason replied.

“No tricks,” I insisted.

“No, none. I’m taking you to a nice Italian place. The Uber should be here in a few. Chicken Marsala or Chicken Piccata?”

“I don’t speak Italian.” I chuckled at my little joke.

“Don’t be a fuckhead. Which do you like better?” He poked me in the ribs.

“I’ve never had either one.”

“Then we’ll get both, and you can decide which one you want to eat.”

“Why are you smiling so big? You think that because you’re taking me to dinner that you can take advantage of me later?”

“Ha,” replied Jason. “So you think you’ve figured out my plan.”

“You’re so transparent.” I laughed.

“So you know everything? Let me tell you something. I could take you to Wendy’s and feed you a Junior Cheeseburger and you would still spread your legs for me.”

“Oh, so I’m nothing but a slut.”

“Nope. I didn’t say that. You’re not an open hole for every dick that walks by. Your hole belongs to me. I don’t need to buy it with a burger or a fancy dinner. I’m taking you to a nice place because I love you.”

I grabbed his hand. “Oh, baby.” I pushed our lips together and heard a squeak as the tip of my tongue moved across his front teeth.

Jason’s smile grew. “That makes my dick hard,” he whispered.

“Breathing makes your dick hard. You’re lascivious. In French, that’s lascif.” I poked him in the belly.

“It makes me horny when you talk French.”

“You’re such a Gomez Addams.”

Jason giggled as we went down the elevator.

With Jason’s hand in mine as we watched the buildings of campus go by and then disappear from view, I sensed a wave of calm. He was well on his way to recovery, and he was no longer afraid to show his feelings. He often shared them with me in our conversations, and I shared mine. Maybe his injury helped us grow together. Penetration sex had been off the table until Thanksgiving at the earliest, so we had nurtured our love in other ways. Now it was the day before Thanksgiving. I squeezed his hand as I thought about what was in store for me.

The parking lot was full at Luigi’s. I decided that the place must be good; I wondered how difficult it would be to get a quiet table or booth. We went in and struggled up to the hostess table.

“There’s a thirty-minute wait for the first available,” smiled the man behind the counter. “Longer than that if you want something special.” He winked.

I reached up to feel my shirt. I knew I hadn’t worn the ‘Fuck me, bro’ shirt that Jason had purchased for me, but I felt as though the man at the counter had read my mind.

“The first available will be fine,” I reported.

Jason was waving at someone. “I see some friends. Is it OK if we join them?”

I said nothing; I assumed he was talking to the host.

“Is it Parker?”

“Oh, sure.” Jason took my hand and we moved away from the crowd waiting to be seated. I looked forward and saw Randy smiling with a hand slightly raised.

‘Oh, crap,” I thought. ‘Here’s where Randy spills the beans, I walk home, and I spend the next week explaining that it meant nothing.’ I put on my best smile. Randy was at the table with another guy. I wondered whether it was someone on the football team. There had been rumors, but the football guy would be in Louisiana for the game tomorrow.

“Fuck me.” I didn’t actually say it out loud, but I screamed it in my head. It was Randy’s father.

Randy stood up. “Hey, Jason, Parker. This is my father Karl. Dad, this is Jason.” He pointed to Jason. “And of course, you’ve already met Parker.”

“Nice to meet you, Jason. And nice to see you again, Parker.”

Even in the dimness of the restaurant, I could see the crimson flush of Karl’s cheeks. I knew that my cheeks were just as red.

“You know Randy’s father?” asked Jason. “What am I thinking, of course, you do; the badminton team isn’t that big.”

“Yeah, we’re an intimate sport.” Randy’s sarcasm hung in the air.

Jason’s eyebrow went up. “I’ve heard they’re adding two spots for next year. That’ll be nice, won’t it.”

“Yeah,” said Randy. “More fathers.”

Karl cleared his throat.

Jason put his hand on my knee, and the waiter’s arrival stopped any possible conversation. The waiter tried to hand Jason a menu.

“We know what we want. And it’s a to-go order, please. I guess I should have been thinking and called ahead for that. Anyway, one chicken marsala, one chicken piccata, two tiramisu, two side salads with house dressing and ranch--those will be on the side, right?”

“Yes, sir. All to-go orders have the dressings in small recyclable plastic containers.

“Thanks.” Jason handed the man his credit card. “Give yourself a twenty percent tip, please.” Jason stood up. “Men’s room for me.” He walked away.

I looked at Karl. “Yes, I told him. He saw you getting out of the van.”

“Great.”

“I haven’t told Jason,” said Randy.

“Yeah? Well, Jason knows about you.”

“What about Randy?” asked Karl.

“We don’t need to go there,” Randy tapped the table with his index finger.

“We do now,” I said.

I heard Randy utter a “Fuck.” I looked at Karl, and his eyes were burning holes into Randy.

“You know that Randy’s gay, right?”

“I do now.”

“Oh, come on, Karl. You must have suspected.” I put my hand on Karl’s arm. “Well, you can hash that out over turkey tomorrow.” I continued. “As soon as he thought Jason was out of the picture, Randy came on to me. And being the strong person I am, I let him suck me. Nothing else happened, and I thought he realized that I wasn’t for him. I already knew that, but I let him do it anyway. So I’m not sure why Brad Turner thinks I’m a cocksucking slut.”

Randy looked down at the table. Karl looked angry.

“Sometimes,” I nudged Karl, “sometimes, guys blow each other because they want to feel connected with another human; it’s not always for love. Sometimes it’s because they’re horny. Sometimes,” I nudged him again, “it’s a combination of things.”

Jason came back to the table but didn’t sit. “Was I gone long enough?”

“Yeah, you want to call for an Uber?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Right now,” I said, “none of us at this table hates anyone else at this table. If we keep it that way; it’ll be one more thing to be thankful for tomorrow.”

The waiter came by the table and gave Jason his card. “We’re going to wait at the front.”

I got up and followed him. When we got to the front, he turned and looked out the window. I pushed up next to him.

“Not now, Parker, and I don’t want to talk in the car. Wait until we’re alone.”

I looked away. I wanted to run out of the restaurant. I wish there were some flashing light that would go off any time I wasn’t thinking clearly. How many stupid things I could have avoided in my life. I wondered how many choices I’d ever made when I was thinking clearly... when no emotion was involved. Probably none. Maybe that was life, a series of choices that run from questionable to should have been avoided at all costs. I took a deep breath, and Jason looked over at me. I could see him studying my face.

The ride back was excruciating. The elevator at the door wasn’t empty, and I did my best to remain calm as I headed for my execution.

Jason opened the door to his room and stepped out of the way. He followed me in and put the bag with dinner on his desk. He turned to me.

I was about to lose everything, and I started to cry.

“Did you fuck him?” Jason’s lips quivered as he asked. He bit his lower lip.

“No.” I shook my head.

“Did he fuck you?”

“No. We sucked each other. I’m sorry.” The tears were in full waterfall mode.

“What? I’m the one who needs to apologize,” said Jason. “You did it because I pushed you away, right? So it was my fault you were with him instead of me. Baby, don’t cry. This whole thing has been my fault.” Jason held me to him. “Shhh. I love you. Does Randy know you sucked his dad?”

“Umm. Yeah. He does,” I reached for some tissues.

“Oh, fuck, but I bet he’s pissed. He wanted you, but I’ve got you. I know he wanted you to suck him. I love you, Parker. Dry your eyes and let’s eat. Once I know which is your favorite, I’m going to make gentle love to you.”

I looked into his eyes, those beautiful eyes. He did love me.

After telling Jason that I like both marsala and piccata, we stripped off our clothes and danced to Eddie Rabbitt’s ‘I Just Want to Love You.’ We played fencing while holding our dicks and pretending they were épées. Jason promised to carry me to the bed once his arm was one hundred percent. He grabbed me and turned me so I faced away from him. Pushing his erection between my ass cheeks, he announced, “Touché! I win.”

“Push a little farther, and I’ll win,” I laughed.

“Well,” said Jason as he kissed my neck, “I want to be a supportive partner so I insist on helping you win.”

“Oh, thank you, mister.” I turned and put my face right up to his. “I know that putting your pecker inside my little hole is a sacrifice for you. I appreciate how much you're willing to do for me.”

“I just want you to know, my young padawan, it will take a lot out of me. I will need to have my protein replenished.”

“I’ll be happy to comply. Let me know whether you want to take the mild directly from the teat or do you want me to inject the protein directly into you?”

“Hmm.” Jason put his index finger against his forehead. “Can I have both?”

“Selfish bastard. I suppose I can manage,” I tried to keep a serious demeanor.

“I’m sorry, it is rather selfish to ask you to feed me twice for just one little fuck.”

I kissed him, pushing hard against him and forcing my tongue into his mouth. His hands grabbed my ass, and he ground our dicks together. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feeling of his dick rubbing against mine. Jason moved me to the bed. He went to his dresser and came back with a tube of lubricant and several condoms.

“Are you planning to use all those rubbers?”

“Shh. I’m in charge; your job is to relax and enjoy. Remember that I love you. Pull the sheet down and get into the middle.”

I did what he said.

“Now, close your eyes.”

I closed them and noticed right away that he got onto the bed. I concentrated on keeping my hands relaxed and on the bed. Jason’s tongue moved against my balls and traced the bottom ridge of my erection before sucking the head into his mouth. His tongue played with the slit as I noticed a cold, wet finger rubbing across my taint and then to my hole.

I continued to breathe deeply as his finger teased my hole. His mouth began to move down my shaft; his finger moved away from my hole. I heard the tearing of the condom package, but his mouth never lost its rhythm.

His finger returned to my hole, this time the tip pushed inside me. He was tender, gentle, loving. As he worked at my opening, he began to suck up and down my shaft. It wasn’t long before I felt him slide two fingers into me. My ass resisted at first; I knew that he was sensing this and moved more slowly.

I wanted to scream, “Push them all the way in,” but I knew that I needed to let him take the lead. He’d had more practice, and he was making sure that my first time was the best it could be. And it was because he did love me. I knew I was lucky. Many men had a partner who would just push their dicks in and fuck away. That did not describe my Jason.

He slowly withdrew from my dick. “Your precum has the most delicious taste.” He touched my hand and brought it to the bend of my knee. His fingers stopped moving in and out as he took my other hand and placed it at the other knee. His fingers went back to my hole, and I pulled my knees toward my shoulders to give him better access. His fingers went back to work. Soon, I sensed he had three fingers inside me. I bore down, inviting him to push farther in.

“Open your eyes and look at me.”

Between my open legs, I saw the athletic, manly man with beautiful eyes looking at me. His eyes told me how much love he had for me. It was at that moment that I knew he loved me more than I had ever expected to have in my entire life. I saw his hand move down and felt the tip of his dick rub across my hole.

“I love you, Jason Slade.”

“I love you, Parker Atwell.”

His hips moved forward, and he entered me. The firmness of him touched places inside of me that I didn’t know existed. He moved his hips back and pushed into me again. He leaned down, pushing my knees closer to the bed and entering deeper. I felt the hair on his chest caress mine as though thousands of tiny fingers were touching me. His lips covered mine, and I met his tongue.

I didn’t understand how his fuck could be so gentle yet so forceful. I had wanted him for so long, and now he was truly mine. I released my knees and they pushed against his upper arms. I reached around and moved my fingers from his lower back to his ass and back up to his shoulders.

My tongue found its way deep inside his mouth. I was in him, and he was in me, and we moved in harmony. Was it one minute, was it two, or was it two hours? I don’t know. Time seemed to lose its meaning while we were physically one. At some point, the cycle of his penetrations began to speed up and he pushed against me as if trying to push his entire body into me. I sensed a change of fullness deep within me. Jason’s body relaxed onto me. His mouth moved to my ear. He moved his tongue to caress my outer ear before nibbling on my lobe. “I want to stay like this forever,” he whispered into me.

I ran my fingers into his soft hair.

This felt as if I had a new beginning to life and that I would never be happier than at that moment.

Thirty-five years later…

I finished reading the beginning of our life together to Jason Michael Slade Atwell as he lay dying in the hospital bed in the living room of the house we had shared for almost thirty years.

“I was wrong, Jason. I wrote that I would never be happier than I was at that moment, and yet every day I’ve been with you, I’ve been happier than I was the day before.” I stood up and leaned over the railing to kiss him. I didn’t understand what was happening. He was as handsome and sexy as the first day I saw him. The nurse told me she estimated his weight to be about sixty pounds and that she was sure today or tomorrow would bring the end.

I wanted to swallow the pills I had saved for this day and to get next to him in the bed.

But two days ago, he said to me, “I know what you have planned. I want you to go on and share with others the wondrous life that is possible when you allow yourself to be loved. We’ll be together again when it’s your time. Your time is not now. You know that I love you, and I know that you love me.” He has not spoken a single word since.

So, I sit and wait.

The End