Going With The Winds

I remain grateful for an outlet where I can have some fun with my lifelong writing hobby. I am never going to publish, and I am too old to even think about getting really serious with this. I am very rewarded by the commentary by all of you.

However, lately, I have noticed that one or two of you have very strong opinions about where my characters are going, or how I write, even. Please remember I do this for fun, and though I value your opinions, too many assumptions and pressures from you about what a hobbyist (me) might do, can actually cause me to lose what feeble inspiration I have. I know you mean well, and I appreciate that. But for the sake of others making comments as well, please keep it brief.

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

 

Going With the Winds, Chapter TWO

 Keen

 “Breath deep, seek a lower level of consciousness. Slide along with serenity.” These were the kinds of things I told myself all the time when with company. I was telling myself this as I experienced the “not quite right” feeling I was getting from Dan and Jake.

Dan was being the smooth host, showing the new guest, Cass, through the house, and encouraging us to enjoy the living room of the mansion. Dan looked hot in his sexy shorts, his green eyes with their flecks of blue, frequently glancing toward the platinum blond beauty.

“No, breath deep, slow, pay no mind to the way Dan’s eyes kept flicking down Cass Alexander’s bod. Dan isn’t yours, anyway. Just because he…”

I chased thoughts through my head and out the other side. Did I trust Dan? Hell no. But he drew me like a magnet, just the way all good-looking narcissistic guys had since I found out I really, really, didn’t like pussy, and only got turned on by guys. A typical entrepreneur in many ways, Dan was a “taking” sort of man. He wanted what he wanted and had a really hard time resisting it. Life seemed to revolve around him, maybe because he immersed himself in the next passion without restraint.

Maybe that was why I was drawn to him. When he looked at me and wanted me, I knew it wasn’t contrived. It was simply Dan, the animal talking. Funny that I trusted that part of him more than any other, because at least I knew it was genuine. I was used to so many guys being fake around me, posing. Dan was a relief from all that.

“What do you want to drink, Cass?” Dan asked the gorgeous beauty from where he waited on us behind the bar.

“Oh, just water, for now, thanks. They never serve enough water on those planes, you know.” Cass said with an easy light baritone. My instant impression of Cass was that he was sweet, and something else... kind maybe. 

“I never drink the water on planes.” Dan said, grinning. “I have to have the hard stuff, to keep me from going nuts. Claustrophobic and afraid of heights aren’t a good combination for plane trips.”

Cass’s eyes widened, but he just laughed softly, nodding.

Alex, across the room at the entertainment center, had put on some music and was bopping to it, but his lover, Mike Scott seemed oblivious to anything but Cass. The big muscular Lifeguard captain snared the pale blond beauty around his slender waist and pulled him around with him to the open floor. “Come on, Cass, dance with me.” He rumbled.

The blond laughed but cooperated and they soon were moving on the floor, Cass dancing with a grace that was unconscious and beautiful to watch.

I noticed all eyes on him, including, and maybe particularly, Dan’s. Dan poured himself a martini, sipped it and then went to Alex and pulled him out from the entertainment center onto the dance floor. Alex, a light beer in hand, went with him and the two were soon writhing, bodies just touching as they moved to a Latin beat. I wasn’t much for identifying singing stars, but I thought maybe that was Enrique Iglesias singing.

It was… wonderful. I don’t know why, really. Or perhaps I did. No eyes were on me or distracted by me. They were all on another person for a change. Even as they danced, Dan kept glancing around at Cass who was in Mike’s big brawny arms, while Alex kept looking at Mike. No one was looking at me. Hallefuckinluia!

“What are you grinning at?”

I turned and realized Jake had come up beside me and spoken in my ear.

“Nothing, Master.” I said, flushing. Jake gave me that look that said I didn’t need to call him Master when not at the gym. He’d stopped protesting out loud about it a week or two ago.

Instead, he said, “Nothing? And our usually composed as shit, Keen is blushing? That’s not nothing.” He drawled, his relaxed tone reassuring me he was only teasing.

That was one thing I HAD noticed about Jake. He looked at all men with admiration, but almost as if he found all men hot, and then went on treating them like anyone else. He’d done that with me, and it was a bit disconcerting.

He glanced out onto the living room floor, and his gaze froze. “Who the hell is that?” He asked me, quietly.

“That’s right, you were in the kitchen.” I said. “That’s Alex’s cousin, Cass Alexander.”

We both looked at the beauty, dancing close but not quite in Mike Scott’s arms. Cass’s skintight white jeans revealed he was not just a beauty but fit as hell, and very, very, well hung. Jake blinked and then said softly. “Wow.”

I laughed and Jake chuckled with me.

“Do you need help in the kitchen?” I offered.

Jake looked back at me and gave me a half grin. “Sure, but it’s mostly all done. We could warm up the pies in toaster oven, but no point in doing that until the main course is served. Why don’t we put the cranberry dish and gravy out, and the veggies and salad, and then we can relax and enjoy the fun.”

I followed the man back into the kitchen, and we busied ourselves, setting things up as far as they could be while giving the Turkey another hour. What they had already done looked awesome and smelled absolutely delicious.

As we worked, Jake had a relaxed way of drawing a man out, a laconic drawl that eased a man. He asked me about my growing up. I can't remember how I started, but I found myself talking about my super controlling mom, who was a beauty queen Miss America runner up, a socialite, very status conscious, who’d wanted me to be a male model before I opted to serve.

“Why didn’t you?” Jake asked.

“Well, between her and my grandmother, who my sisters and I call “The Dragon”, I needed to get away. My dad was a Senior Captain in the Navy at the time, clearly about to be tapped for flag rank.  "Everybody thinks he’d be really strict, and everything ship shape. But, well maybe because of mom, he’s just the opposite. I mean I never wanted to disappoint him. Hell, I sort of idolized him. I would have followed his footsteps, but he went through a homophobic time when I first came out. I didn't put up a lot of fight, but that drove me to enlist in the Marines rather than the Navy.” I looked at Jake. "Don't get me wrong. I love the Marines, and I am really proud to have served."

Jake nodded. “Totally understandable.” Your dad get over the homophobe part?”

“Yeah. By the time I got out he was all apologetic and wanting to be close to me.” I didn’t mention to Jake I thought my parent’s marriage was strained, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they divorced. If my dad hadn’t still been active as a Vice Admiral, I think they would have.

"Well, either way, you really seem to have put yourself together, Keen. I wonder if your parents are as proud of you as they ought to be.” Jake said. 

I heard myself laughing and said, “I try not to think about it. Dad has mellowed out a lot, but mother is… well, she isn’t easy to deal with. I’d rather be here for Thanksgiving than anywhere near the rents.”

Jake smiled. “Well, this is your home now and I am glad you’re here.”

There were a few minutes of companionable silence, while I worked up the courage without really meaning to. But the elephant in the kitchen got to me and I blurted before I could stop myself, “I am really glad you're still ok with us, I mean, Dan and me.”

Jake just smiled as he dished out the gravy into a silver gravy bowl, “I am fine. Life goes on, my friend. You and Dan have an amazing connection, and I see all the ways you two click. You can be the partner for him I never could, and I am not someone who pushes against the current.”

I must have shown how chagrinned and awful I felt hearing this, as it sounded like they were breaking up. Jake came over to me and rested a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Hey, its ok. It’s really, really, ok, my friend.”

“But…”

“Shhh, it’s like martial arts. When a blow comes at you, you swing with it and use its energy for the next move. I learned to do that a long time ago, in the Seals and now in life. I lost Dan weeks ago, maybe longer, and I am just glad he has found someone who is so good for him. You’re one of the good guys, Keen, and you’re smart, your steady, and levelheaded, and you’ll pull the best parts of Dan out, and make a great life with him. For Dan and me, that part of our lives is over. But it’s not over for you and him. It’s just the beginning. Make the best of it.”

“Jake”… I tried again but he stopped me.

“Nope, sorry, not letting you talk.” He grinned. “Look, Keen, this is the best for me too. I need to get on with my life. I am not going to mope. I am going to get ready for my Captain’s job, dig into that, and enjoy the life I’ve been given. I don’t need you or Dan or anyone feeling sorry for me, because I can tell from the expression on the beautiful face that’s what you’re doing. Cut it out.”

That was a voice of command, and a voice I respected. Jake had it together, and I couldn’t help but respect the ease and the calm serenity and power the man exuded.

“Yes Sir.”

“Good.” He said, with a tone of absolute finality.

“Now let’s go dance and show these twerps how martial art Masters can move.” Jake growled, taking me by the arm with a bright amazing smile. What could I do? Jake Saunders in full charm mode was not a man to be denied.

I followed him out onto the large living area of this beach mansion, the open dance floor, and he faced me, and pulled me in for some hot merengue moves worthy of a “Dancing With the Stars” competition, or so it felt. The man could move, and he was sexy as hell doing it. I was no dancer, but I had rhythm, and I could follow, and for a short while I forgot everything that could make me tense. Like I did while teaching Ti Chi, or other martial arts, I just let myself go, giving myself over to dancing in the arms of the Master.