Freshman's First Semester

The sounds coming from the corridor were becoming familiar. The different voices with some that would yell out or have a laugh easily distinguished. Mixed in with the voices were televisions playing movies or some sport, if not occupied with a video game, voices arguing and sparing with each other. There were footsteps of those tired of a long day of classes, or studying at the library, or a lab. There were the fast pace footsteps of someone running late, or the occasional chase from one dorm room to another. The sounds echoed down the long corridor and bounced into the dorm rooms, especially those with doors left open.

Benjamin sat at his desk with the door open, listening to an argument down the corridor at the elevators and across the hall, the blare of a video game as Matias and James battled each other while making comments meant to distract or fluster the other. It should have been too noisy, too much distraction to be able to study, but for Benjamin it was the opposite. The sound of others made the dorm not feel so alien. A comfort of having others nearby. It had been difficult the first few days, away from home for the first time. He had looked forward to this newfound freedom and knew it would be a challenge for someone like himself. But it had been a little tougher than he had anticipated. He was from a small town, and attended a small private school run by the church. It had done nothing to prepare him for college. His course work was good for math, English, Civics and basic science but totaling lacking in the more advance studies and aspects of his science education was as he knew it would be; totally wrong. Feeling unprepared caused him to keep to himself and thus the initial loneliness he felt. He knew it was of his own making, for he was in a dorm with forty-four rooms on each floor with two guys per room. It was a noisy place with little privacy for there was always someone around. And all he had to do was engage with the other guys.

It took a few days, but Benjamin overcame his reluctance and began to make friends, finding common interest to make connections. He loved riding his bicycle and found a few guys to ride with him during late afternoons or on weekends. And like most of the guys, he enjoyed video games, and soon was huddled up in one room or another, controller in hand, going against someone. He had been shy of revealing his schooling, knowing how it would sound. But after admitting to his religious schooling he found most of the guys were curious instead of judgmental, questioning him on how restricted it had been for him. There was an empathy by the guys, since he was trying to break from the dogma that had tainted so much of his earlier schooling.

One thing that made those first few days so bad was his roommate. Benjamin knew he came across introverted for his reluctance to engage others, but never for a minute considered himself someone who was really that way. Once that first acquaintance was made, he had been able to open up to some of the guys and with those initial connections, quickly created friendships. But Aaden, his roommate, had been another story. He quickly realized Aaden was extremely shy, a true introvert. It took a few days to coax him out of his shell and create a friendly atmosphere in their dorm room.

Aaden was from Mobile, the youngest of three and used music as a means of coping with situations that made him anxious or frustrated. It was obvious by the posters over his bed and the books that lined his desk, music was the thing he loved the most. In fact, Aaden was in the college band, something that kept him on campus late into the evening most days.

After a couple of weeks, Benjamin made friends, fell into the routine of classes, and began to make his own path. The one thing he had not done was deal with his sexual attraction toward some of the guys. He had avoided it all through high school, easy enough with its strict policies keeping the boys and girls separated thus letting him hide his own attractions toward a few of the other boys. But now that he was in college, it was more difficult to ignore. And truth be told, he didn’t want to ignore it any longer.

Benjamin found himself looking at the others, making a kind of appraisal of them. He found it crude how it ended up being simply those he’d fuck and those he wouldn’t. Which guys he could see himself in bed with having sex, some attribute of their persona or physical appearance that fueled an aroused state. Of course, Aaden had been the first, the one who was around the most. Benjamin had laid in bed several evenings glancing over from time to time as he pretended to be reading, while taking measure of Aaden. Stretched out on the other bed, Aaden barely fit on it being over six feet tall, and he was skinny, all long limbs and torso. Aaden never went without a shirt, but Benjamin knew those baggy clothes had to be concealing a skinny body by the way they hung on him. And there was the cheap haircut, one done for convenience and not any attempt for some style, short around the sides and slightly long on top letting it cover his forehead down to his eyes nearly concealing them. Framing Aaden’s face was black frame glasses which stood out in stark contrast against the white skin and red hair. By every measure, Aaden looked the nerd, the shy geeky nerd but through it all, Benjamin saw an attractiveness to Aaden, with his heart shaped face and nose that looked just slightly small on his face, giving him even more of a baby face.

Benjamin thus imagined what it would be like to have Aaden share his bed. How it would seem with that tall lanky body intertwined with his own. The vague images formed, a sense of what it would be like to be touched by another as he discretely touched himself making real this fantasy, eventually having to turn toward the wall so Aaden wouldn’t see how he was tenting his shorts. Maybe it was the sense Aaden was inaccessible. Someone he had no chance in hooking up for sex. This person he shared a room, constantly in his realm, that made him such a temptation.

Across the hall were Matias and James. They were two average guys, who joked around constantly, wrestled with each other and when their conversations were not about sports or video games, they were about girls and sex. Matias was from California, the son of immigrants from Guatemala and the first of his family to go to college. He was a little shorter than Benjamin’s five eight, with a light brown skin tone, black hair and dark brown eyes. He looked skinny in the baggy clothes he liked to wear, but when stripped down to boxers, as he was much of the time in the dorm, he revealed a muscular body, like a swimmer or runner.  James was a little taller than Benjamin and had the appearance of the All-American boy. Blonde, blue eyed and a tanned skin tone that concealed the freckles across his shoulders and cheeks until you were close to him. He was from Arkansas and had the accent of a country boy that dragged out each syllable.

Benjamin kept his dorm room door open more often, than not, just to see what Matias and James were doing. While sitting at his desk pretending to read or work on his computer, he would cut his eyes to watch them. Most of the time the two boys wore nothing but boxers, whether sprawled out on the floor playing video games, or sitting at their desk watching porn on line, the two of them laughing about the what they saw, or laid back on their respected beds studying. Sometimes they even napped with their door open, the two of them sprawled out on their beds. One time, Matias’ uncut cock was visible where it had slipped through the fly and Benjamin struggled with the temptation to sneak into their room for a closer look.

Next door, in the room Aaden and he shared a bathroom was William, Bill to all his friends, and Dilan. They were the proverbial jocks. Stocky builds, with muscular bodies from working out. Bill was Benjamin’s height, but Dilan was tall, six foot three he liked to exclaim, along with stories of his basketball days in high school where he was a starter. He wasn’t good enough for college but on the court down in the Commons, he was by far one of the best players. Benjamin had tried not to do it, but when he looked at one or the other, listening to what they were saying, he thought of their physical attributes. Bill with his dark brown hair cut short, green eyes and teeth that were not perfect, the canine teeth slightly out of alignment. And he looked more mature than most of the other boys, with long sideburns and a goatee he kept cut close. Dilan was lighter in skin tone with brown hair, blue eyes, and perfect teeth that were revealed whenever he smiled. And he was muscular, arms as big as Bill’s if not bigger, but his height made him look leaner.

Bill and Dilan were both laid back, with a live and let live attitude. They lounged around their room in gym shorts and tank tops or t-shirts, often wearing the same to classes.  When Paul, three rooms over, came out as gay, it was Bill and Dilan that first stood up for him when a couple of guys down at the other end of the corridor made derogatory comments. Benjamin knew they were straight, by the way they talked of girlfriends back home and how they interacted with other guys, never joking around about sex, nor ever showing disdain for anyone different. They were also the first guys Benjamin felt he could call friends, but not once could he imagine sex with them, as much as he admired their personas and physical appearances. But he tried to imagine meeting someone who would be like Bill or Dilan, and what sex with such a muscular guy would be like. The physicality of it, held down while being fucked.

Benjamin’s other two closest friends on the floor were two rooms over from Matias and James. They were his bicycling companions, although Bill and James rode with them on occasion, it was Theo and Austin who rode with him every time. Theo was slightly taller than Benjamin with dirty blonde hair that was long, often pulled back into a ponytail, and brown eyes. He had an average build, and the look of someone older than his eighteen years. Even though he never acted like a jock with the banter typical of them, he did love to play basketball, even if Dilan would soundly beat him on the court. Austin was someone Benjamin considered a brother. They had the same build, the same white skin except with brown hair and green eyes, in lieu of black hair and blue eyes. He was also the one guy on the floor who seemed to be aware of his attire, never wearing clothes that looked frayed or worn, as so many others would do. Although Benjamin tried not to do it, for he never wanted to do anything to jeopardize their friendship, he found himself imagining what each one would be like in bed. The maturity of Theo and the way he carried himself made Benjamin imagine him in ways sexual and nonsexual. The latter often as a boyfriend, someone to be his companion. He didn’t know why it was Theo, of all the guys on his floor, who slipped into this role in his fantasies. The guy who would come home to a meal Benjamin had prepared, or the two of them laying on the sofa, legs intertwined as they each read a novel, or walking down some inner city street, hand in hand, going for a simple dinner at some little café.

Where Theo represented some future stability, Austin represented a companion, someone who would be there when needed, in bed or otherwise. Playful, always smiling, and the image of a man who knows what he wants in life. And the one thing that stood in the way of Benjamin’s fantasies having a sense they could be made manifest, was Austin being in a serious relationship with a girl back in his hometown.

Then there were those that were fleeting in his imaginings. Paul, who was open in his sexuality, and thus someone who in Benjamin’s mind was available, if only he had the courage to pursue him. There was Chris with the sleeve tattoo and Alberto with his native language peppering his rough English and down one floor, a guy Benjamin didn’t really know, but they crossed paths so often they would greet each other, and of course, Benjamin had stood on a landing and watched him descend while he studied his physical attributes; dark red hair, tanned skin stone, earrings in each ear and a round ass that seemed to stretch out anything he wore. And there were so many others they became too numerous to keep track.

“Hey, Benjamin, James just got back and we’re going riding. You in?” asked Matias from across the corridor.

“Yes. I’ll get changed and meet you down front. What about Theo and Austin?”

“They’re in some study group. Calculus is kicking their asses.”

Benjamin rode beside Matias and James when the sidewalk would allow it. When on the road or on a narrow sidewalk, he fell in behind them, James usually up front. Matias’ shoulders and arms were in stark contrast to the white tank top he wore. Benjamin found himself watching how the muscles flexed and moved beneath the dark skin, showing the strength possessed in each. Up ahead, James stood and pedaled harder, and Matias and he followed suite as they began a long climb. James wore a black t-shirt and it was wet around the arms and down the back from sweat for he always sweated sooner and heavier than Matias and him. It made him imagine touching that hot slick skin, or having it rub against his back, sliding slickly over him.

Back at the dorm, all three of them sweaty, they carried their bikes inside. On the third floor, Benjamin led them down the corridor, turned left into his room, and Matias and James turned right into their room. He hung his bike from the wall rack and stepped back to the door to close it when he froze. James was at the entry hanging his bike and Matias was in the room stripping off his sweaty clothes. Unconcerned their door stood open, he removed his tank top, bike shorts then the tight briefs, tossing them on the floor. Benjamin saw the brown toned body with its curved ass and cock flopping into view.

“Hey Benjamin, after we clean up you want to go get pizza?” asked James.

Benjamin watched Matias bend to a low plastic drawer set and pull out clean boxers then turn toward the door to step back to the entry to go into the bathroom. He watched the muscular body move toward him, uncut cock moving with each step. He gave its measure, estimating it was three inches long at least in its flaccid state and he wondered how long it’d get hard. He thought of it longer, thicker, angling outward and he felt his own cock stir with arousal. He wondered what it would be like to touch it, to get on his knees…

“Benjamin. Benjamin, did you hear me?” asked James.

“Huh?”

“You want to go get pizza after we get cleaned up?” James asked again, smiling at Benjamin as if he was a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Oh, yeah…that would be good” Benjamin replied, knowing he was red faced with embarrassment.

The next Saturday arrived wet and dreary. The weather forecast was for it to be cloudy with rain showers all day. For Benjamin and most of the others in the dorm, it was a day to stay inside. Even with lights burning, the floor seemed to have the same darkness as outside. There were sounds of video games and televisions coming out different rooms by the time it got to be noon. Other doors were locked up, the guys gone down to the cafeteria or somewhere in town for lunch.

Benjamin was coming back from having a late breakfast in the cafeteria, passing several of the guys heading out, when he strolled by Theo and Austin’s room.

“Hey Benjamin” Theo called out.

Stepping back to the door and leaning around its frame, “What’s up?” Benjamin replied.

“I’m bored as fuck. You want to play some video games?”

“Austin hasn’t gotten back?” asked Benjamin, knowing he had gone back to his hometown to see his girlfriend.

“He won’t be back till late, or hell, he may not return till in the morning before his classes.”

“Let me hit the bathroom and check my emails then I’ll come back to play.”

“Well, hurry.”

Since Austin never used his desk, he and Theo had it set up as a gaming station, with the flat screen sitting on a small platform on top with all the consoles underneath. It gave them room for controllers to lay in front when in not in use, and when they were, the guys liked to lean back in chairs with feet propped up on the desk while they played. It wasn’t long into the first game and Theo had his feet on the desk, angled over one corner. Benjamin sat to his side, leaned forward in the chair moving his body while working the controller trying to get the best of Theo, even though it was one of his best games.

Benjamin also struggled to focus on the game, as he was finding his desires more and more distracting. He found himself looking at the guys with fantasies of sex all the time. It didn’t help Theo was sitting next to him in nothing but flimsy gray gym shorts. Lightly haired legs stretched out, upper body completely exposed and all so close he merely had to reach out to touch it. Theo was not into gyms but played sports and his body displayed a natural definition, the lean frame of a teenager, not yet nineteen. When Theo reached forward to change the game, Benjamin could see the darker brown hair under his arm. It was a small but thick patch, and he considered it a sign of Theo’s masculinity, something that made him more mature. Benjamin had no body hair except for a small fan over his cock and a very light dusting of hair on his calves. His arms were bare, as was his chest, and he felt younger than Theo, still a kid, even though they were the same age.

They played for a couple hours, till fingers grew stiff with their play. In their last game, Benjamin began to find the small details that let him compete with Theo, at times getting the upper hand. They were battling each other, physically rocking back and forth. Theo had sat up and the two of them moved in unison, back and forth, leaning forward or holding up the controllers as their fingers flew from button to button. Benjamin had Theo pinned down, the game his to win. They bantered back and forth, as they rocked in their chairs. Benjamin moved in for the win. Then he lost it, Theo having rocked toward him till they touched. Bare arm against bare arm, and he looked down the chest and stomach leaned his way. The way the stomach heaved in and out. How the small round nipples rode high on the pecs and the skin looked so smooth, firm, revealing Theo’s muscular body.

“Holy cow! I won” Theo exclaimed shocked Benjamin had messed up right at the end.

“Shit.”

“Man, what happened to you?” asked Theo as he ended the game and shut off the television.

“Just lost focus.”

Theo rotated around to face Benjamin, with legs spread, and Benjamin saw it, Theo’s cock head and some skin from his sac. Just a little peak of what lay within the shorts and Benjamin couldn’t stop himself from staring. He’d seen other guys before, in P.E. back in high school, and in the dorm, but this was different. He was too close to Theo, so close he could reach out and touch that cock if he had the daring.

“Hey, Benjamin?”

He saw the skin of the sac move, a ball push at it making more come into view. The cock shifted with the movement and the head came fully into view, the round shape of it fully exposed.

“Hey, Benjamin” said Theo, shifted in his chair while snapping his fingers in Benjamin’s face. The move pulled everything from view and Benjamin looked at Theo as if seeing him for the first time.

“Sorry…what did you say?”

“I was going to ask if you wanted to get some guys together and go for pizza?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m going back to my room and take a shower. Come get me when you are ready to go.”

Benjamin closed his door, stripped out of his clothes, tossing them on his bed and raced into the bathroom, thankful neither of the guys next door where using it. He was half hard, the head of his cock wet. He felt it, his arousal, so strong after having seen Theo’s cock. He was sitting right next to him and it was there, so close. He pictured it, the head with its little slit and round shape, and how its reveal was so unexpected. He got the shower going, the water hotter than usual and stood under it. He felt his own sexual nature, this arousal from seeing another. This attraction to someone who was his own sex. He took his cock in hand and stroked it as hot water cascaded over his head and down his body. He stroked slowly as he pictured Theo’s body then the cock exposed between his thighs. Then the fantasies began. Theo taking his hand and bringing it to that cock, letting him touch it. He pushed the gym shorts back revealing all of it as he slipped his hand around it. He stroked Theo in his fantasy while his hand stroked his own cock. He imagined going to his knees, roughly pushing his chair back. He imagined running tongue and lips up one thigh and over the head of Theo’s cock. He imaged it in his mouth. Then cum filling it as he came, his cock flexing with each ejaculation, spurting cum against the tile wall.

When Benjamin came out of the bathroom, Aaden was laying on his bed reading a book, its cover showing some strangely colored planet with two moons. Benjamin hadn’t expected him back so soon, and in his rush to get into the bathroom, he had not grabbed any clothes to put on. He stood naked, water droplets on his shoulders and hair dripping, towel in one hand, frozen in place for a moment. He had not let Aaden see him naked in the weeks they had been living together. Now he stood completely exposed, wondering foolishly if Aaden had heard him cry out in the shower. Aaden looked up, eyebrows arcing up in surprise and Benjamin saw him stare. Was it a stare of just being surprised at his nakedness, or was it like his own staring at Theo moments before?

“You’re back” Benjamin uttered, and he swung the towel around his waist quickly and secured it in place.

“I finished my paper and…”

“You want to go for pizza later. Theo is going to see if any of the others want to go and will come by…”

“Yeah, sure.”

Benjamin felt Aaden’s eyes on him as he picked up the clothes he had taken off, putting them in his hamper. Not looking back, he slipped clean boxers from one of his drawers and grabbed a shirt and clean pair of jeans from the closet.

“I just need to brush my teeth and get ready” said Benjamin as he went back into the bathroom, not wanting Aaden to see him naked again. He didn’t know why, but he felt exposed in a way that was more than just letting Aaden see his body. It felt like he was exposing himself on another level as well. Maybe it was the way Aaden had stared at him. It didn’t appear to have any desire toward him, or some curiosity about him as a man. There didn’t seem to be anything sexual about Aaden’s stare, and this made Benjamin feel anxious.

It was late when the guys returned to the dorm. On their floor everyone headed to their own rooms, their small talk dying out as each unlocked their doors and went in. Benjamin followed Aaden into their room, neither bothering to turn on the overhead light, letting the lamp on the nightstand between their beds provide the only illumination.

“You want to play a game or watch a movie?” asked Benjamin, not ready to turn in.

“Let’s just watch a movie. My hands are tired from typing.”

“Sounds good” Benjamin replied as he flipped on the television. It was on his desk and he turned it sideways so he could look over the foot of his bed. Aaden lay on his side on his own bed while Benjamin pulled up one of the movie channels.

“Hey, this is a movie I’ve been wanting to see” said Benjamin as he put the arrow on a movie recently loaded up in the system.

“I want to see it too. Play it” Aaden replied.

“Let me hit the bathroom first.”

Benjamin pissed, washed his hands then stared into the mirror. He looked at himself, wondering how others saw him. Did they see this sheltered skinny kid who looked fourteen, as he thought of himself, while looking in the mirror? Then he considered some of the other guys on the floor, all eighteen too. Some were no different, yet he looked upon them with growing desire. Could some guy look at him that way? Could Aaden?

Aaden had been a riddle to him from their first day. His quiet shy nature and how he looked at you. Benjamin never could figure it out. But earlier, when he had been naked, he saw a look that was different, or so he believed at the time. Maybe it wasn’t so much different, just surprised at first by him coming out naked.

Or maybe he needed to give Aaden a little push. Some flirtatious act that gave Aaden an opportunity to act out. He began to undo the buttons on his shirt, resolved to be like so many other guys on the floor. He was going to strip to his boxers and see how Aaden responded. Heart racing as the shirt slowly opened down his chest. Flat from neck to waist, the skin seemed to glow in the light, his white complexion so pure, unblemished, even if he didn’t see it that way. He exited the bathroom with his shirt unbuttoned and his belt hanging loose. He started the movie then removed shirt and jeans. He laid them over his chair and lay back on his bed, hands clasped together behind his head.

The movie’s opening credits scrolled across the screen and Benjamin cut his eyes over to Aaden. He saw the long, lean body stretched out, feet hanging over the side at the foot of the bed. Aaden was dressed as usual, baggy shirt and khakis that revealed nothing of the body within. But Benjamin could imagine its frame, the long lean nature of it, the exposed arms showing this aspect. Having not seen Aaden without a shirt, much less naked, he wondered if he ever would.

The soundtrack at the beginning of the movie began do fade, the first part of the movie about to begin and Benjamin glanced over one more time and saw Aaden looking at him. Eyes focused not on his head but lower down. Daringly, he reached down and adjusted his cock within the boxers and saw the eyes widen then quickly look at the television.

When the movie ended, Benjamin shut off the television as Aaden headed to the bathroom. He heard the flush, then the shower come on. He needed to use the bathroom and the sound of running water made his need worse. He tapped on the door.

“Aaden, I need to use the bathroom; can I come in?”

There wasn’t a response for a few seconds, then a muffled “okay.”

He eased the door open, the shower on his right and just beyond the toilet. The shower curtain was a solid color, an opaque screen that sorely disappointed him. He heard the running water and only a sense of Aaden within it. He moved past looking for a gap, a place he could glimpse within its confines. But his disappointment grew to include frustration. As he pissed, he knew Aaden would not come out of the shower till he left the room. He heard changes in the water as Aaden moved underneath it and wondered what would happen if he dropped his boxers and got in the shower with him. He tried to imagine it but couldn’t bring the idea of it to life. Instead, he finished, washed his hands and left the room. As soon as the door latched, he heard the shower cut off and knew Aaden had been waiting on him to leave.

Tuesday was a day Benjamin only had one class in the morning giving him most of the day to do his studies. He settled on his bed, books stacked on the nightstand and began to go through each one. Aaden stayed gone most of the day, two classes in the morning, and the library between and after where he liked to do most of his studying, then band practice in the afternoon. It left Benjamin the room and if he had class work to do, he was good with the quiet of the room. But as soon as he finished, he felt a bored loneliness. Most days he opened his door to the corridor, an unspoken invitation for one of the guys to come in. Others he strolled up the corridor seeing what others were up to. In the end, he usually found someone in which he could hang out.

The next Tuesday, after his weekend of looking at Theo’s cock and making opportunities for Aaden (foolishly expecting the introvert to act first) he found himself in more of a melancholy mode than usual. He went into the bathroom and saw the door was open to Dilan and Bill’s room and he glanced in seeing Dilan at his desk. Door closed he pissed, washed up and eased the door back open.

“Hey Dilan, you still studying?”

“Oh...hey Benjamin. No, I’m just browsing around online” Dilan responded holding up his cell phone.

“You want to play some games?”

“Sure; come on in and we can play here.”

Dilan and Bill’s flat screen was large, and they had it on a low table between Dilan’s desk and the closet, crowding Bill’s side with plastic drawers for the them both. There was a large thick rug on the floor in front of it and two bean bag chairs. They played for a couple of hours, one type of game after the other, flipping through them in a manner that demonstrated their boredom. Dilan beat Benjamin in a road course game and let the game stay paused.

“Have you heard the rumors about Paul?” asked Dilan.

Benjamin knew Paul was openly gay and there was constantly some rumor about him on the floor.

“Which one?”

Dilan chuckled, knowing the truth of the matter. “The one about some of the guys on the floor sneaking down to his room in the middle of the night?”

“What?” Benjamin replied sitting up as best he could in the bean bag. “No…who?”

“Don’t know that, but supposedly there has been a few guys go to Paul all curious about sex with another guy. You haven’t gone to his room, have you?”

“What? No!”

“Relax; I’m just asking, and it would be okay if you did.”

“Well, I haven’t” replied Benjamin and even he could hear the exaggerated protest in his voice. Dilan didn’t respond at first, then shifted toward him with a serious look.

“Benjamin, I may be wrong and if I am don’t be mad, but I think…” Dilan hesitated then lowered his voice, “are you gay?  It’s okay if you are but I think…”

“No.”

“Okay. I was just asking, for you seem to be struggling at times and I want you to know I support you either way. Bill too.”

“Bill? You guys have discussed me? You’ve talked about me…”

“Benjamin, it’s nothing, okay. We just noticed some things that gave the wrong impression. That’s all. Forget it. Okay?”

Benjamin nodded his head, tried to play it cool, not wanting Dilan to see how much this shook him.

“Hey, I’m going back to my room.”

“Okay.”

Laying on his bed, Benjamin wondered what he had done to raise a flag that Bill and Dilan had noticed. It troubled him, this sense that he was giving himself away, and others on the floor were probably discussing it amongst themselves.

About two weeks passed by and Benjamin settled down, no longer worrying on a daily basis whether, or not others were talking about him. On Saturday morning he pulled his bike out and headed down knowing Theo, Austin, Matias and James would be waiting on him. They rode around the campus and out toward the vet school. Following in line, the four of them rode a fast pace, legs pumping as they rode up over hills and down into the low areas till they were on the edge of the college property. Then they rode back to the center of campus, their pace slowed, settling into a comfortable speed for each of them. By the time they got back to the dorm they were sweaty with legs like rubber when dismounted from their bikes. Theo and Austin were the first to go in, and Benjamin slung his bike over his shoulder and headed in behind James and Matias.

“You guys want to go into town for dinner?” said Benjamin.

“Sounds good; I’m starving,” replied Matias.

“I can’t for I’m going to hear this band play at the Neighborhood Theater” said James.

“It’ll just be the two of us. Theo and Austin are going to some frat party I have no interest in” said Matias.

“Okay” replied Benjamin, “I’ll come over after I get cleaned up.”

 Benjamin followed Matias and James down the corridor. He watched James unlock their door and rush in making some claim on the bathroom. At his own door, key in the lock he heard Matias say something.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“Just come over when you get changed. I may be in the shower so come on in” said Matias as he went into his room, James in the background stripping off his shirt.

Benjamin shut his door grateful Aaden was gone. He stripped in the room, putting his sweat soaked clothes on the floor at the hamper, pulled out clean clothes and went to shower. Once dressed, he glanced in the mirror one more time, running his hand through his hair noticing he needed a haircut, but liking the way it looked slightly messed up.

Door locked, he stepped across the corridor and eased the door open to James and Matias’ room. He stepped in and froze, the door slowly closing behind him.

“Close the door” said Matias, standing naked in the room, water droplets sprinkled over his body and down each leg.

“Sorry…I should have taken longer. I figured you’d be ready by now.”

“Don’t worry about it. James took forever in the bathroom and just left. Come on in.”

Benjamin fought every ounce of his desire to stare at Matias brown toned body, the curves and forms that reflected his muscular frame, the dark black hair that was under each arm, dusting each leg and in a tight fan over the uncut cock hanging long. He swallowed hard as he eased down in Matias’ chair, only a couple feet away. He watched the soft white towel move over the exposed body; the contrast sharp between them. The dry skin seemed to have a satiny glow in the light of the room and never had he wanted to touch another as much as he wanted to touch Matias in this moment.

“Benjamin?”

Benjamin looked down one leg and up the next till his eyes were back on the cock, this time taking notice of the sac hanging loosely underneath it. He wondered how it would feel in his hand.

“Benjamin?”

The cock drew closer, so close it was all he could see.

“You want to touch me?”

Benjamin saw the single vein that snaked along the length of the cock and how the head bulged the loose skin hanging over it. And the sac was wrinkled with folds of skin; smooth, hairless, and he imagined his lips touching it.

“Benjamin, I know you want to. I’ve seen how you look at us. It’s okay, you can touch me. You wouldn’t be the first” whispered Matias as he stepped closer, standing between Benjamin’s legs.

Benjamin looked up, suddenly aware of what was said, the permission to do what he so desperately wanted. Matias gave him a small smile of encouragement, nodding his head, and Benjamin reached out till his fingers touched each leg. He was touching another guy for the first time. A guy who was already naked, right in his face and he inhaled Matias clean scent and leaned forward kissing the loose skin over the head of the cock.

Benjamin ran his hands up each leg, fingers grazing over the smooth skin tickled by the soft hairs while he kissed Matias’ cock. He ran his lips up the shaft and back down. He knew what was expected, the thing he had fantasied about, but he was hesitated to take it in his mouth. He didn’t know why, but Matias was different from the other guys he had seen with his uncut cock. It was exotic to him, something different and he wondered about pushing that skin back to expose the head, and how it’d feel to Matias.

A hand came between him and that cock, held it up pulling the skin back revealing the head.

“Suck me, Benjamin. Please.”

Benjamin moved to it, slipped the head inside his mouth and pushed forward feeling the loose skin move over his tongue as the flaccid cock slipped into the recesses of his mouth. He moved clumsily at first but as Matias grew thicker, longer, quickly filling his mouth, he fell into a steady rhythm, working his mouth back and forth. He moved his hands up and around till holding each ass cheek. He dug his fingers into them feeling the firmness of each. Fingers combed through his hair then caressed the side of his face as he sucked. He sucked till that cock filled his mouth to nearly choking. It pushed into the back of his throat and stretched lips to fit around it, and he gave himself to it, consumed with nothing more than a desire to please Matias. When Matias moaned, he moaned too. When Matias began to move his hips, to push that cock into his mouth, he breathed gently through his nose and took every inch. He held onto that ass and let Matias use his mouth. He wanted to be used for another’s pleasure. To feel his mouth stuffed full. To suddenly taste an odd sweetness as he tongued the head and feel Matias shudder within his hold. He slipped out of the chair to his knees, submissively giving himself to Matias. Fingers moved through his hair, then grasped it tight and he fell slack in its hold and let Matias use his mouth, to pull and push his head back and forth. He heard the increase in Matias’ breathing and sensed the urgency behind it.

“I’m going to cum” Matias exclaimed putting his hands on Benjamin’s shoulders to brace himself while working his hips.

Benjamin moved with Matias, wanting to feel cock release inside his mouth. Forward and back, mouth moving wetly along the shaft till he felt it grow thicker and longer. It flexed and the head widened, pushing up against the roof of his mouth. Then cum hit the back of his throat. Wad after wad spurt into his mouth filling around the ejaculating cock. He swallowed and swallowed till there was none left to swallow, and Matias was shivering, pleading with him to stop.

Matias stepped back, cock going flaccid, the loose skin soon concealing the head once again. For a moment Benjamin was embarrassed. He felt his face grow warm, knowing it had to be red and he stared at the floor, suddenly aware of how he so willing sucked Matias off.

“Benjamin. Don’t freak out, okay? There’s nothing to freak out about, and …” whispered Matias, one hand taking Benjamin by the chin guiding him to look up, “I wanted it too. You wanted to know what it was like and I wanted the pleasure of it. I won’t tell anyone. That is up to you.”

“Thanks Matias” Benjamin whispered, feeling relieved.

“Now, let me wipe your nasty spit off my dick and get dressed, for I’m starving.”

The joking tone, the playfulness behind it, made Benjamin feel even better and he found himself laughing with Matias.

For days Benjamin relived what he had done with Matias. Late at night, when he was sure Aaden was asleep, he daringly began to masturbate in his bed, putting fingers in his mouth to mimic what it had felt like to take Matias’ cock. His ejaculations became more explosive and he struggled not to moan too loudly, sometimes stifling an urge to cry out. He masturbated in the shower so often Aaden complained once about how long it was taking him in the bathroom.

And for days, Benjamin sought a time he could catch Matias alone, James not in their room, and he might be able to do it again. There was no mention of it, not by Matias, nor by himself. But he thought of it constantly and wanted to do it again so badly he was tempted to invite Matias over when Aaden was away and make a move on him.

The following Wednesday, a day of thunderstorms blowing across the college and town, Benjamin had sat in his last class of the day, along with the other hundred or so students, waiting for the professor to show up. They knew the college rules and knew if she didn’t show up within ten minutes they could leave. The minute hand moved around his watch, one minute passing, then another. After only four minutes had passed, everyone expecting the professor any minute, a student came into the room and stood at the front.

“Ms. Jenkins had to leave for personal reasons and will not be here. You’re free to go.”

Benjamin’s umbrella flipped backwards in a powerful gust of wind and he tossed it into a nearby trash, where other umbrellas similarly damaged were pushed into it already. He raced across the campus, soaked to the skin and water filling his shoes, no longer trying to use any canopies or entries for cover. It was futile and all he wanted to do was get back to the dorm and take a hot shower.

The third floor was unusually quiet as Benjamin headed to his room, every step a discomfort, even the sound of his feet squeaking in the water-logged shoes adding to it. He held his backpack in one hand, not wanting to feel it against his wet back. He passed quiet rooms, even those with doors open and it was obvious the stormy weather had everyone feeling gloomy. Up ahead he saw John and Liang cross the corridor going into the room opposite theirs, probably to play video games with Shen and Blake. Normally he would check out each room with a door open, but he just wanted out of his wet clothes so with head down, he made his way down the corridor.

“Hey, Benjamin!”

Benjamin heard his name, but for a moment he didn’t recognize the voice or from where it had come from. He stood in the corridor looking around, confused about where to look.

“Benjamin? Come here a minute.”

It was Paul and Benjamin realized he had just passed Paul’s open door. He took a couple of steps back, looking into Paul’s room.

“Hey Paul, what’s up?”

“You’re back early?”

Benjamin was surprised Paul knew he should still be in class, and he wondered if Paul knew other’s schedules too.

“Teacher was out, so class was canceled.”

“Oh, hey, I was wondering if we could talk?”

Benjamin was suddenly flooded with questions. What Paul could want to talk about with him? Did Paul know his secret? If so, how? And who else knew? And what would he want? Was Paul going to blackmail him, threaten to reveal his secret?

“Yeah” Benjamin responded in an anxious tone. “I want to get a shower and into dry clothes first.”

“Of course. I would too. Can I come down to your room?”

“Ahh, yeah, just come on down in a minute. I’ll leave the door unlocked.

In his room, door closed, Benjamin made a few nervous circles in the middle of the room, going “no, no, no,” over and over. He felt trapped in the small space and grateful Aaden was at band practice and not here to see this fear. He set his wet backpack in his chair and took out the textbooks and notepads, thankful it was waterproof. He draped it over the back of the chair to dry and stripped out of his wet clothes, laying them on the floor in a pile. His skin was shriveled, and he was shivering, even with the room a comfortable temperature. He pulled out dry clothes and went into the bathroom, pushing the door to. Once the shower grew hot, steam rising from behind the curtain, he stepped underneath it, head down, letting the water wash over him. The hot water drew the coldness from his body, warmed him quickly making his toes burn. But he stayed under the spray, hands on the wall leaning into it.

He didn’t hear the dorm room door open, nor the bathroom door. He had no sense of someone standing in the small bathroom, waiting to build up their own courage.

“Benjamin?”

Benjamin jerked around, frozen in place listening, unable to believe he heard Paul’s voice so close.

“Benjamin, I know I should have waited in your room, but with you hidden behind the curtain, this is easier. I don’t really know you. I see you all the time, hanging out with some of the others. I’ve seen some of you come back from bike rides and…sorry, I’m rambling.”

Benjamin stood stock still, the shower hitting his shoulders, as he waited for Paul to continue.

“It’s no secret I’m gay, and I’ve heard the rumors. A couple of guys asked if it were true, if I’ve messed around with some on the floor. I lied and said no, but…it’s true. There are four on the floor, for whatever reason had slipped down to my room. I think they were just curious, or so horny gay sex with me was acceptable. Or maybe they are gay and…well, bottom line, I know it is hard for some, finding…no, acknowledging their own sexuality. I think this is true of you. I’ve not heard any rumors, you know, that casual gossip some like to do, but there have been two guys ask me about you. Wanted to know if we’ve messed around. I told them no, of course.

I’m not sure why one asked, curious probably to know if others were like him, I guess. But the other one…”

There was a long silence, and Benjamin wondered whether, or not to say something, then he heard some small movement, some shift in body posture or something, and Paul finally began to speak again.

“I’m not sure but I think he likes you. Maybe it’s the way we’re always around each other, in this dorm, or maybe there is something else. I don’t know. Honestly, I can see why he would ask about you. I think you’re attractive too. It’s funny, to stand here like this and admit this, but I’d have sex with you, but don’t freak out Benjamin. Please. I’m not going to jump in the shower and force myself on you. I won’t do that. But if you wanted to just have some fun, or…have you ever had sex with a guy? Don’t answer that; it’s none of my business. But…if you wanted to know what it was like, if you wanted to experience it, even if only one time to satisfy some curiosity, I’d like that. And if you want to talk about this admirer, I would like that too. I hate to see someone suffer with longing for someone and not have the courage to act on it. I don’t judge them for it but if giving an opportunity to help…”

Silence, except for the running water, once again filled the small bathroom.

“Benjamin, it’s okay, you know. I’m going to leave now.”

“Paul…” said Benjamin, his tone so low Paul barely heard it, but he did and standing in place, he waited for Benjamin to continue.  “Have you been harassed by any of the guys?”

“There’s been some snide comments but no, no one has tried to bully me. Is that what you’re scared of?”

“And I’ll end up alone.”

“I’ve talked to the guys you hang out with, in fact they’ve invited me to hang out with you guys, but…I’ve been struggling so much with calculus that I’ve been unable to relax and just have some fun.”

“I could help you with the calculus” Benjamin replied; his tone still meek.

“Really? I’d like that. The math wizards on the floor won’t have anything to do with me. Dilan tried to help me, and even though he is doing well, he doesn’t know how to explain it.”

“Was you serious…earlier?”

“Huh, about what?”

“The sex…with me?”

“Yes. Very serious.”

After silence another between them, Benjamin angled the shower head toward the back wall and pulled the shower curtain back. He stood straight, arms by his side, letting Paul see him. Really see him, every inch of his naked body.

“Do I look okay?”

Paul heard the insecure tone of Benjamin’s question, and he stepped forward then stopped, not wanting to get his clothes wet.

“Yes. Don’t think less of yourself” Paul replied. Then he began to undress, pulling his t-shirt off, then undoing his cargo shorts letting them drop to the floor. He pushed his boxers down and stood in front of Benjamin.

“We’re the same build, Benjamin. Do I look okay?”

“Yes.”

Paul stepped into the shower, pulling the curtain back across the opening. He moved up to Benjamin, pushing him against the wall pressing their bodies together. The shower cascaded over them as Paul pressed his lips to Benjamin’s. A slight hesitancy, those old fears trying to surface, then Benjamin let them go. He kissed Paul back, bringing his arms around the lean torso hugging their bodies tight together.

Hands roamed over the other, kisses moved along cheeks, jaws, around ears then with light bites, earlobes were tugged then tongues swirled around ears. They shuddered in each other’s arms, pressed chests, stomachs and cocks against the other. They grew hard, cocks raised up thick and stretched out. Benjamin’s angled upward with the shaft slightly curved while Paul’s stuck out ramrod straight. One was longer, the other thicker, but the differences didn’t matter. Paul went to his knees and took Benjamin in his mouth. Lips tight around the head he pushed forward taking every inch.

Benjamin leaned back against the wall, eyes closed, savoring the feel of Paul’s wet mouth on his cock. The way it enveloped him, the stroke of lips moving along its length and at times the feel of Paul’s nose pressed into his stomach, his entire cock enveloped in heat and wetness, making him feel more aroused. Paul kept it up till he felt like he could soon come, then Paul was standing before him, hand on his cock keeping him hard.

“Benjamin?”

Benjamin opened his eyes and looked at Paul, hair plastered to his head, and he leaned forward kissing him.

Paul pulled back and turned to the side wall, hands on it bracing himself.

“Fuck me; put it in me; do it Benjamin. Feel what it’s like” Paul pleaded.

Benjamin felt like it was a dream, nothing real. He stroked his cock to feel it in his hand, the physical nature of his aroused state, then he moved up behind Paul. Paul pushed his ass back, spreading his ass cheeks, and Benjamin saw the wrinkled opening. He put his wet cock to it and pushed. Paul shuddered as he felt the tightness around his cock head, squeezed down so hard he shuddered with his penetration. He kept pushing, till he felt Paul relax and his cock slipped easily inside him. He pushed further, watching inch after inch of his cock disappear inside Paul and he wondered how far he could go. All the way? Could he figure out to go deeper? It aroused him; the way Paul’s tight opening milked his shaft. He pulled outward and saw how he was tugging at Paul’s opening, stretching it more as his cock moved through it. Then he pushed inward, this time not stopping till his hips were pressed tightly to Paul’s ass.

Benjamin placed his hands on Paul’s hips and felt the narrowness of the waist. He held Paul tightly, fingers digging into the firm flesh, and began to move his hips. Outward, till only the head of his cock remained inside Paul, then forward, a slow gentle push till his hips pressed against Paul’s ass. Over and over he worked his cock inside of him, savoring the feel of it. The way it stroked him, made him not want it to ever stop. But he wanted more, his arousal to be increased. Some primitive urge, uncontrollable, and he began to move his hips faster, till hips smacked against ass, noisily, obscenely, Paul crying out and he grunting like an animal. He was fucking Paul, fucking him to come. He crossed a threshold where he couldn’t hold back, didn’t want to, and he hammered his cock inside Paul, spurned on by Paul’s pleadings.

Hands touched Benjamin’s thighs, then moved up toughing him on his hips. He felt them dig into his flesh, desperate, a pleading as strong as the desperate words coming from Paul. He leaned against Paul, hugged their bodies together as he ground his hips against Paul’s ass, then worked his cock inside of him. He wanted to cry out, as he felt the surge of release. He bit Paul’s shoulder and shuddered as his cock spewed his load.

Benjamin pulled out, wondering what Paul would expect in return. Would he need to suck him off? He would do it; just get on his knees like he had done with Matias and suck the cum out of him. Or would he need to face the wall and let Paul fuck him? That made him anxious, having never done it before, but he’d do it. Turn to the wall and hold himself open as Paul had done for him.  He stepped back his cock half hard and dripping, and saw Paul turn and once facing him, saw Paul’s cock in the same state as his own. Paul saw his confusion, the questioning look.

“I came when you were fucking me. There’s a certain pace that just pushes me over the edge and you found it” said Paul. He leaned to Benjamin and kissed him, a quick simple kiss and when he leaned away, they smiled at each other. “Thanks, that was nice.”

“Paul, thanks for…”

“Sshhhh…let’s just savory the moment. You don’t have to say it.”

Benjamin smiled, then realizing how long they had been in the shower, sheepishly turned off the water. “We better get dressed and get out before one of the guys start banging on the door.

Back in the room, both dressed, and both trying to get their hair to dry, Benjamin leaned on his desk with Paul sitting close in his chair. “You really need help with calculus?”

“Oh yeah. I haven’t been able to relax and enjoy myself for I’m scared of flunking.”

“Why don’t I come down after dinner and start tutoring you?”

“Would you? That would be great.”

“Paul?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you tell me who likes me?”

Paul looked at Benjamin and grimaced, as if asked to do something illegal. He looked around the room, Benjamin’s side then Aaden’s, then toward the door as if expecting Aaden or someone else to charging in. Once he was looking at Benjamin again, he finally responded.

“I can’t…I promised I wouldn’t tell you, even if I think it is wrong. But he is close to you.”

Paul stood and headed to the door. Before opening it, he turned, “I’m going to get an English paper finished up. I’ll be in my room when you’re ready to come down.” The door swung open and Paul eased out, pulling it closed as he left. Benjamin wondered who Paul was referring, looking at Aaden’s bed, thinking he was the most obvious but maybe Paul didn’t mean close as in proximity but in friendship then he wondered about Matias, then Theo, and for a moment he considered the other guys, wondering if it was one of them, dismissing them one by one till all that remained were Matias, Theo and Aaden. Voices came from the corridor and he recognized them as Dilan and Bill heading to their room and he began to question himself all over, looking back at past comments, small gestures, trying to make it one of them.

Over the next few days, Benjamin found his world changed dramatically from what it had been when he first arrived on campus. He had tutored Paul for a few days till that moment when it became clear to him. He found himself hanging out others on the floor more often, some evenings spent in a restaurant in town debating some topic, joking around or talking about their childhoods. The biggest change was how he looked at himself. No longer some skinny kid but as someone like so many others, still a teenager, yes, but changes still happening. He bought gym shorts and tank tops like some of the guys wore, no longer self-conscious about his looks. In the evenings he lounged around in just boxers, at first conscious of how it felt, this near nudity, but after a few days it seemed to be normal, just another guy on the floor who ran around undressed. The guys noticed how he was suddenly relaxed around them, making jokes at times Benjamin knew were meant to be supportive. He was just one of the guys.

The next week, Paul came in his room waving his last calculus exam, a score of 87 written across the top. The pressure of passing lifted, Paul began to hang out the Benjamin and the others. Playing video games, watching movies or going into town for lunch or dinner. For Benjamin, having Paul around reminded him of the sex between them and he longed for a repeat. There were hints made when the two of them were alone, but he knew it had been just sex. There was a bond of friendship between them but even Benjamin had to admit to himself the attraction just wasn’t there. Maybe in some ways, they were too similar. Wasn’t the saying that it was opposites that attract?

Over this time, Benjamin saw how it effected Aaden and was amused by it. As he lounged around their room in gym shorts that clung to his crotch and tank tops that revealed his shoulders and arms, he saw the quick glances from Aaden. When he began to lay around in nothing but boxers, preferring solid white that showed he had some skin tone, albeit it so light, he saw Aaden look at him on the sly even more. He could see how his cock pushed against the thin white fabric. At times he could see flesh through the gapped fly and wondered if Aaden had ever been able to see the same. There was never any comment about it, not from him or Aaden, but there was changes by Aaden that he liked to see.

Aaden began to wear shorts and t-shirts more often, and Benjamin could see the long legs and arms, and when Aaden was stretched out on his bed, there were times his crotch bulged with what was within. So, Benjamin looked at Aaden on the sly.

On the following Saturday, when they had a home game and the band had played in the heat of the day, Aaden had returned to the dorm carrying his uniform, wearing gym shorts and t-shirt, both wet with sweat. His hair was plastered to his head and he looked exhausted. Benjamin came into the room just as Aaden was pulling out clean clothes to shower.

“If you need to use the bathroom go ahead. I need a shower and will wait till you finish” said Aaden, standing up straight as if it took all his energy to do so. Benjamin was reminded of their height difference, Aaden five inches taller and his lanky build making it look more.

“Go ahead, I’m good” Benjamin replied and watched Aaden go into the bathroom, pushing the door to, but leaving it slightly ajar. A temptation that Benjamin didn’t know if he’d be able to resist. He could come up with a multitude of excuses to enter the bathroom but knew he wouldn’t do it. What if he overstepped this boundary, he imagined existed between them? What would happen if Aaden took offense?

He stripped off his shirt and jeans, laying back on his bed in just boxers. The air conditioning kicked on and he sensed the air movement over his skin. He imagined it as something else. He felt the stirrings of arousal, his cock moving around within the soft fabric of the boxers. He daringly slipped his fingers through the fly touching it. Bare skin touching bare skin, and his arousal increased. He could hear the shower going and daringly slipped his cock out, toyed with the head and stroked it a few times, imagining it was Paul sucking him…or Aaden.

He grew more nervous, and he worked his erection back through the fly as he thought of something beside sex. The game and how they lost by two points, the band at half time and later tonight, some going to hear a band play at this club that lets under twenty-ones in.

The shower shut off and he lay back, head propped up on his pillows against the headboard. He watched for Aaden to come out, wondering if he would finally get to see more of that body which had been concealed from him. The tank tops gave him a hint of the body within, but everything Aaden wore was loose, nothing tight fitting. He knew Aaden jogged and the band had a workout routine to keep fit enough to march and play during half-time. But did it make Aaden’s body muscular in any way, he didn’t know.

The door swung open and Aaden came out toweling his hair, the red color sharply contrasting against the green of the towel. But that wasn’t what caught his eye. It was how Aaden was wearing boxer briefs and nothing else. The crotch bulged with his manhood and Benjamin could see the outline of cock and he swallowed hard and cut his eyes away. Glancing back, he saw Aaden still toweling his head, the towel hanging down over his head and Benjamin knew he could look freely. It was the first time he had the opportunity to really look at Aaden body, and he immediately thought of Tom back in high school who was on the track team with a long lean body that was muscular with very little body fat. Aaden had the same body, the same lean build that still showed so much definition. What would it feel like? Was if as hard as it looked? What about the skin? Would it feel as smooth as it appeared. He stared at how the nipples sat high on each pec, each about the size of a quarter. Scanning down he could see the configuration of the muscle, the skin reflecting their shape. The navel surrounded by a few red hairs that trailed down into the boxer briefs.

“Benjamin?”

The boxer briefs were black and stood out in stark contrast. The legs were stretched tight around muscular thighs that were much larger than originally realized. He wanted to feel Aaden’s body, to touch it…

“Benjamin, what are you looking at?”

“Oh…huh; oh, nothing. Just thinking about that missed pass that would have given us the win” Benjamin lied.

“Oh…okay. Hey, you want to go get a burger later?”

“Yeah sure. What time?”

“Let’s wait till late if you don’t mind. I’d like to wait till the crowds thin out and right now I’d like a nap. I’m beat.”

“Sounds good. I’ll go see if some guys want to watch a movie or play some games while you get some rest. Come find me when you’re ready to go.”

“Thanks” replied Aaden, tossing the towel over his chair and easing down on top of his bed, not bothering to use the blanket.

Benjamin looked at the body in repose and found himself studying its form, the muscular definition of it. He wanted to move across the room and lay next to it; to feel it pressed against his own body. Those thoughts came back to him, sexual in nature, and he jumped up, slipped on gym shorts and eased out the door before he did something he would regret.

The door across the hall was closed and he knew Matias and James were gone. Looking left he saw Dilan and Bill’s door was open and to his right he saw Theo and Austin’s door was too. Further down he saw Paul’s door closed. He ambled down to the corridor till standing at the door frame looking in at Theo looking out his window.

A quick knuckle rap at the door, “hey Theo, you haven’t taken off?” Benjamin asked as he stepped into the room.

“No, not yet. My folks are still here and I’m meeting them in a couple of hours. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just needed to get out the room. Aaden is napping.”

“I bet he is beat playing during the game then on the field at half time.”

“You should have saw him when he came in. Soaked to the skin in sweat.”

“You want to play a game for while?”

“I thought you’d never ask” Benjamin replied coming in further and crashing in Austin’s desk chair.

They played a few games, neither particularly aggressive, both seemed to be just going through the motion. Benjamin struggled to focus for he kept looking over at Theo. He watched for some signal, some sign he might be the one. Aaden had become his first candidate after the last few days, especially coming out of the bathroom in those boxer briefs, but he also knew that could be him projecting his desires onto him.

Theo was in his chair, an office chair on wheels and it moved back and forth as he rocked one foot. Another game started and Theo had a spurt of aggressive play sensing he could win with a quick strike and their knees touched, pressed together for a split second. Benjamin considered it a sign, an act of making first contact. He wanted to return the contact just as Theo pulled away. He glanced over at the way Theo sat, legs spread apart, and he looked at his crotch for some indication of arousal with their contact. Theo threw his hands up in victory then looked over at him.

“I win…and boy do you suck this afternoon. What was that last move?”

“I’m just out of it, I guess” Benjamin replied laying the controller down. “It’s time for you to go, isn’t it?”

Glancing at his watch, “Oh shit, yes” Theo exclaimed as he shut off the game and television and followed Benjamin out.

Benjamin walked back to his door and didn’t stop till he was standing in the light coming out of Dilan and Bill’s room. He didn’t see Bill, but Dilan was sitting at his desk looking at his laptop.

“Are you studying?” asked Benjamin stepping just inside the door.

Looking up, Dilan smiled at him shaking his head, “Oh, hell no. I’m just reading about the game.”

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, come on in.”

“Where’s Bill?” asked Benjamin looking toward the bathroom door.

“He’s at the hotel where his family is staying. They’re going to dinner later.”

Benjamin suddenly knew why he was in Dilan’s room. The thing that he needed to get off his chest. He looked around the room building up his courage.

“What’s up, Benjamin? Spill it.”

“You remember when you asked me if I…” Benjamin stammered to a stop, unable to say it.

“If I thought you were gay?”

Benjamin nodded, then looked away from Dilan, his heart racing and felt something like a fist buried in his stomach.

“And?” asked Dilan.

“It’s true…I am.”

“Is that all” Dilan replied making light of the confession. He saw how hard it had been for Benjamin and knew it should not be such an issue. “I get it, Benjamin. Certain backgrounds or the people around you may make it hard to admit, but you should know by now it’s no big deal for most of us. We accept Paul without question, and what makes you think you’ll be any different?”

“I don’t know. It just seems like I’m changing things in some way.”

“You are; you’re being honest with yourself” replied Dilan, then he glanced at his watch, and slapped Benjamin on the knee. “I’ve got to go. A friend from our competition is in town for the game and we’re meeting for dinner. If you need to talk later, come on by.”

“Thanks Dilan.”

“And can I ask what made you come over today?”

“I don’t know. I’m…”

“Tired of hiding?”

Benjamin smiled at Dilan, nodding his head.

“Well, I need to go” said Dilan as he led Benjamin out and locked his door. “See ya later.”

Benjamin eased back into his room. Aaden had barely moved since he left, still sound asleep. Sitting on the edge of his own bed, he watched Aaden in sleep. The slow rise and fall of his stomach, and how utterly still he lay. Aaden’s glasses were on the nightstand and without them Benjamin could see his face, the shape of it, and how freckles lightly covered each cheek and the eyebrows, a darker red than his hair, arced over each eye. He smirked at how Aaden needed a haircut, always needed a haircut, the cheap ones he got at some barbershop never really looking right except when a hand was run through it messing it up. A shaggy messed up look that made Aaden look boyish.

Benjamin wanted to cross the room and lay next to him, to feel the heat of his body against his own. He was frustrated, with this inner turmoil of just wanting to let go. To be opening gay and to have someone in his life. He wanted to feel normal, whatever that meant, for he felt like he’d been living a lie for so long.

Aaden stirred with arms stretched out then eyes blinking open. Benjamin laid down quickly pretending to be looking at his phone.

“You awake?” Benjamin asked as he set his phone on the nightstand.

“Yes. What time is it?”

“A quarter after eight.”

“Really? Man, I was exhausted after being in that hot sun.  You hungry?”

“Yes, I’m ready to eat when you are.”

“Let’s get dressed and go to that burger joint on Oakhill.”

“That sounds good. I’ve not been in a while.”

Mack’s was a dive, a real hole in the hall, with a décor of exposed brick on one side of the dining room and rusted corrugated steel panels on the other. The floor concrete showed the life of the building, every one of its hundred and three years. The wait staff were surly, the menus looked like they should have been tossed years ago and nothing on the menu could be considered healthy. But Mack’s served the best hamburgers in the area and it was packed till late in the night when the bar eventually became more crowded than the dining area.

Benjamin and Aaden arrived shortly after nine and had to wait nearly twenty minutes for a table, a booth in the back corner. They stood out front waiting to be called, watching the other students and town people come and go. The carefree nature of everyone, just the feel of the night with the town’s lights pushing back the dark made one acutely aware of being in a college town.

“You going home Thanksgiving?” asked Benjamin, the first casual thing that popped into his head, avoiding the topics he wanted to ask. Aaden, are you gay? Aaden, have you slept with Paul? Will you sleep with me? Do you like me?

“Sort of; I’m going to my grandparents place down in Monroeville for the weekend. The family gathers there every year. What about you?”

“I’m going home…I think.”

“You think?” asked Aaden.

“It’s just I don’t like the way they carry on about religion and…” Benjamin stammered to a stop.

“I get it. A bit too preachy and will ask a hundred questions about what you did this semester in the dorm.”

“Yep.”

“So, you’ve done something they wouldn’t like?” asked Aaden and it was the first time he had joked with Benjamin in such a way. They smiled at each, Benjamin guiltily.

“Probably. But I bet you have too” Benjamin replied and even in the dim light on the sidewalk he could see Aaden’s face turn red.

“Benjamin Jackson! Your table is ready” a surly voice yelled out the front door, then let it close before they could get to it.

“Such a pleasant place” Benjamin uttered in a low voice as he held the door open for Aaden.

“Isn’t it” Aaden replied.

They ordered sodas, then burgers, each with his favorite toppings. Leaned back, sipping their drinks, they watched the crowd inside the restaurant, the interaction between staff and customers and the rowdy nature of some at the bar.

“This place is…”

“A dive. The word you’re looking for is dive” Benjamin interjected.

Burgers slide in front of them, they ate slowly, Benjamin pushing Aaden to tell him about his music and being in the band. He listened as Aaden began to talk about himself in more of a personal way than he had to date. It allowed him the same freedom, to talk of his personal conflicts with his family and the school he had attended and the religion it was founded on. They sat long after finishing, circling around the topic Benjamin wanted to talk about, the one weighing heavy on his mind.

He wanted to come out, tell Aaden he was gay, but the words never formed so he could speak them.

The bar had gotten loud when Benjamin led Aaden out. It was nearing midnight when they started the nine-block walk back to campus. Their pace was slow, walking side by side, letting others weave around them. Crossing the street that divided the campus from the town they continued across the campus were only exterior lights and a few security lights lit up the buildings. The campus was quiet, no one about except a few campus security personnel, allowing them to talk quietly, softy, and their conversation took on the intimacy of their tone.

“Have you ever had a girlfriend?” Benjamin asked, wondering if he was making a mistake in asking.

“No…you?”

“No. The school frowned on relationships, actually encouraged our parents to make arrangements on who we should be with,” replied Benjamin scoffing at remembering the talks in school gatherings. “It was a crazy fucking mess” he swore, the harsh nature of the words reflecting his feelings about it.

“Have you messed around with anyone?” Aaden asked, and the neutral gender of the question wasn’t lost on Benjamin.

“Yes.”

“Anyone I know?” Aaden joked and Benjamin felt his face flush.

“Maybe…I get around campus, you know.” Benjamin joked back.

Aaden laughed, while shaking his head.

They walked in silence the rest of the way to the dorm, coming into the Commons where some of the guys were hanging out. A tag football game, a couple of guys with guitars and a debate among a few guys were the centers of attention. Benjamin wondered if Aaden would go on to their room and was pleased to keep in pace with him as they made their way inside. A movie was playing in the lounge area with a small group scattered around on the furniture and in the floor. There were five guys waiting on the elevator and Benjamin followed Aaden to the stair where they kept a slow steady pace, up one flight then the next.

Benjamin felt a tension in the air, like a storm was brewing. He glanced at Aaden wondering if he felt it too. Pulling the door to the third floor open they entered the usual noise of a Saturday night. As they neared their room, Paul and Theo came out of the room across the hall, followed by Matias. Matias was in a pair of worn jeans and no shirt. Paul and Theo were in gym shorts and t-shirts.

“I’m calling it a night” Paul said to Matias and Theo.

“Me too” added Theo as Benjamin and Aaden came close. “Where have you guys been?”

“Mack’s” Benjamin and Aaden said in unison.

“At this hour?”

“We left late, so we’re back late” said Benjamin as Aaden unlocked their door.

“Hey, you guys want to watch television or play a game?” asked Matias, adding, “I’m not sleepy and…”

“Not tonight, I’m beat” Benjamin replied.

“Me too” said Aaden as he pushed their door open and disappeared into the dimly lit room.

The blinds were not closed tightly, and light filtered through giving the room a ghostly illumination. Benjamin lay on his bed wide awake, staring up at the ceiling then cutting his eyes over to Aaden. Aaden was lying flat on his back. Benjamin knew he was awake for the way he was so still, and his breathing not of the same irregular rhythm as when he was asleep.

Bits of conversation came back to Benjamin, those comments that revealed some new aspect of Aaden. Paul’s words were woven within them; someone likes you, someone close to you. He knew it had to be Aaden, there really wasn’t anyone else it could be. He had considered Theo and Matias, but neither were the type to keep something like that a secret. Aaden was the introvert, the one so shy and he knew all too well how hard it would be to confess such a thing. To tell another guy you like him, when you didn’t even know for sure if he was gay. What if he wasn’t? Benjamin knew Aaden could consider it some insult. Frustration increased as he lay there wanting to push pass this impasse. Aaden was too shy to make the first move. It was always on him to do so.

Benjamin took a deep breath, sat up and climbed out of bed. He was determined to know one way or the other. He had to know, unable to wait any longer. He moved slowly across the room each step cautious, afraid to make a sound. He thought he saw Aaden’s eyes were open, even in the dark shadows over his face, and it felt like they were following him. Stopped right next to Aaden’s bed, heart hammering away in his chest, he took a slow deep breath, exhaling slowly.

“Aaden? Are you awake?”

“Yes.”

“Can I…” Benjamin hesitated for it felt like he was suffocating. Then he inhaled slowly. “Can I get in bed with you?”

The room was so silent they could hear someone in the corridor walk past. Then Aaden slid over, pulling the blanket back as he did.

“Okay.” Aaden’s voice was such a soft whisper Benjamin barely heard it.

Benjamin eased down next to him, the two of them lying rigidly on their backs, arms at their sides. They were both stripped down to their underwear, Benjamin in a pair of white boxers and Aaden in black boxer briefs. Exposed skin glowed in the dim light.

Benjamin looked at Aaden, the smooth skin of his chest and stomach and the dark of the briefs. He wanted to touch him, to make a physical contact. To feel the smooth skin. Rotating on to his side, he knew his face was concealed in dark shadow preventing Aaden from seeing how he stared at him, but it was obvious it was what he was doing. It enticed him by the way Aaden left hand was against his thigh, so close to his cock it stirred with his arousal. Aaden didn’t move the hand, nor did he try to increase the pleasure of the touch. Benjamin reached out and saw Aaden hold his breath. With his hand hovering over the unmoving stomach, he wondered if Aaden would stop him.

“Aaden?”

“Yes.”

“Can I touch you?”

“Yes.”

The skin felt so soft and smooth to Benjamin’s fingers as he glided them over Aaden’s stomach. He felt the undulation of heavy breathing, Aaden unable to control it. He raked them down till rubbing along the waistband, following the lay of it across Aaden’s stomach. Leaning over, he pressed his lips to Aaden’s chest feeling the firmness of the skin, the smooth warm nature of it and he didn’t want to lose the contact. He dragged his lips over the sternum and along the rib cage till he felt the left nipple. He put his lips around it and tongued the hard nub till Aaden shivered with the manipulation.

Benjamin kissed his way upward while his fingers worked underneath the waistband. He followed the collar bone then up Aaden’s neck as his fingers combed through pubic hair. He kissed the left ear, tongued its curvature and tugged on the earlobe gently as he fingers touched Aaden, traced along his growing length till moving over the flared head. Aaden stifled a moan while shuddering with his manipulations.

Benjamin grasped Aaden, firmly, wanting to feel that expanding cock fill his hand. He kissed the side of Aaden’s face and whispered in his ear.

“You want me to stop?”

“No” came a stifled reply.

Benjamin didn’t know if it was going too far, remembering how he had kissed Paul and the intimacy of it. Would it be too intimate for Aaden? He didn’t want to think of it and pushed past his doubts and fears as he stroked Aaden to full hardness and kissed him on the lips. Aaden seem to jerk back but before he could respond, was kissing him back. He felt the hand against his thigh begin to move, fingers rubbing up and down then the hand moving up till it fondled his growing erection. He wanted the contact to be bare skin on bare skin. He wanted his boxers off, out of the way for Aaden’s touch. He used his other hand to push them down while he held on to Aaden. His cock dropped out free against Aaden’s hand. He felt the exploratory way the fingers moved over it, raking up and down its growing length then toying with the head till he moaned with the pleasure of it.

Benjamin moved on top of the Aaden aroused by the feel of their torsos against each, his cock pressed into the soft fabric of the boxer briefs. He pushed against them harder and felt Aaden push up. The soft cotton rubbed the head of his cock till he was rigid with his arousal. But it wasn’t enough; he wanted to feel Aaden against his cock. He pushed the briefs down and felt Aaden lift his ass to help him. He pushed them down as far as he could then worked his legs to get his boxers and Aaden’s briefs down to their ankles. His boxers fell from his right foot as he ground his cock against Aaden’s, rubbing them together till he was shivering. Aaden’s hands came to his waist and the fingers dug into his sides, clinging desperately to him as he worked his hips. He pushed one hand around his waist till he felt its fingers slip between his cheeks.

“Do it…finger me. Stretch me open” Benjamin uttered as he pushed Aaden’s hand to do as he pleaded.

He pushed down then raised his hips and those fingers raked along his ass, running down till rubbing his opening. He shivered at the mere touch as he begged Aaden to do it. One finger penetrated him, pushed through his tight opening and he pushed his ass up to take it. He felt Aaden kissing his neck, and the hot exhales of his heavy breathing. A hand took his left wrist and twisted his arm behind his back while the other pushed two fingers into his hole, twisting and turning, loosing it up. He pushed his erection against Aaden’s, felt the hard cock against his own and he wanted it. He wanted it inside him, pushing into his depths. He raised his head giving Aaden room to kiss his neck down to the little hollow spot below it, while pushing his ass on the two fingers in his hole.

A third finger entered Benjamin, and he shivered as it sank into his depths. Aaden’s lips moved over his neck. He pushed back as the fingers twisted around loosening him for what he really wanted. He pushed down, sliding his cock along Aaden’s, the thing he really wanted inside him. He wanted to feel Aaden working cock in his hole. To feel the connection between them.

“Fuck me…Aaden…please” Benjamin whispered as he moved his ass on the three fingers.

The fingers slipped from Benjamin’s hole and Aaden’s cock was held up and pumped along his ass. It rubbed along that space between his balls and opening, then pushed against it. He pushed back. The flared head stretched him open as it squeezed through his tightness. He shuddered and cried out while pushing down on it. He felt it sink into his hole, push deep within him and he sat up, seating himself fully on it. His own cock stuck out hard, the head wet and drooling more with his arousal. He watched Aaden reach for him, and he held his breath as fingers circled his cock stroking it till the whole shaft was wet.

“Benjamin” Aaden whispered as he pushed upward trying to get deeper.

Benjamin lifted himself up till only the head of Aaden’s cock remained in his hole, and he sank back down, slowly, gently, savoring the feel of every inch that moved through his tight opening. He did it over and over as Aaden stroked his own cock just as slowly. He shuddered and struggled to keep his slow pace. He wanted it to last, this first time with Aaden. He wanted to feel every aspect of it, to have it build till he couldn’t take it. He lifted upward again and held still, and Aaden began to push up, to drive cock into his depths. He took it; let Aaden fuck him. He felt the increase in pace and heard the grunts and moans; Aaden’s and his own.

When Aaden stopped, Benjamin slid his ass down the thick cock. He moved on it, letting Aaden feel the pleasure of his ministrations. Up and down, faster and faster, he fucked himself. His body grew hot, feverish, and sweat beaded up on his chest, trickled down from his hair and along his sides from under each arm. He dropped down on Aaden’s cock then pushed his own through the tight fist holding him. The bed squeaked, began to rock noisily as his paced increased, their fuck more desperate, uncontrollable.

Aaden’s hand let go and Benjamin seated himself on Aaden’s cock. He felt the thickness of it. How it penetrated deeply inside of him. Aaden sat up suddenly and he was surprised at how quickly Aaden moved on him, bear hugging their bodies together and rolling him on his back. Hands moved decisively, urgently, grabbing him behind the knees. His legs were pushed over and down, folding him in half. He felt his ass lift, better angled for Aaden, and with no hesitancy, Aaden fucked him. Drove into his depths till smacking against his ass. Cock piston in his hole at a furious pace as his own left wet trials over his stomach.

Benjamin cried out, begged Aaden to fuck him harder. The physical nature of their fuck increased his arousal, and he desperately wanted it to increase, to get more physical. He wanted to feel Aaden slam down against his ass, to feel that cock sink into his depths. The bed moving in rhythm with it increased the sensation of movement; two bodies working in unison in such a sexual way. He heard the bed’s straining squeaks and their own primitive utterances. He pushed against the headboard with eyes closed as his every thought focused on their sex. On Aaden on top with his submission to him. He felt fingers dig into his legs tighter as the sound of Aaden’s push inward increased. A smack of two bodies coming together, over and over and over.

Aaden reared back, pushing harder with his hips, and cried out. His body shuddered as it held tight to Benjamin’s ass. Then he pumped his hips slowly, jerking and shaking with release.

Aaden wrapped Benjamin up in his arms and rolled the two of them over till he was on bottom, Benjamin on top. There was a moment of stillness, the two of them staring at the other, faces half concealed in shadow. It didn’t conceal the way they looked at the other. The longing that grew the more intimate they became.

Benjamin slipped down, put Aaden’s long legs on his shoulders and his cock to Aaden’s opening. He pushed against its tightness till hands came to his ass and pulled him forward with more determination. His cock squeezed through the tightness making Aaden arc his back and groan with the pain of it. He held still, waiting for the tight grip to his cock, just behind the head, to loosen.

“Do it…Benjamin…do it” Aaden uttered in a hoarse voice.

Benjamin pushed, slowly, all the way till his hips pressed tightly to Aaden’s ass. He felt the soft heat that enveloped his cock and the tight grip around its base. Hands held his ass cheeks, fingers digging into the firm flesh, then they moved up along his back with a desperation for contact he understood. He moved in Aaden, pulled outward then pushed back in and the hands clung to him. He began to fuck slowly, and fingers dug into his back and the legs against his chest trembled.

Every point of contact was hot, slick with sweat, as Benjamin began to fuck harder, faster, working his hips with an urgency. He couldn’t hold back, not after such a long time, Aaden inside him, now he inside Aaden. He wanted to feel his release. To feel his cock spurting inside Aaden. A hand took him by the chin and guided him to lean his head down till their lips were pressed together. Everything was about their fuck. The way he moved on top of Aaden, the contact between them and the guttural cries.

Benjamin felt the surge of release, how it made his body tighten, every muscle straining against the effort. He shoved his hips forward pushing cock as deeply into Aaden as he could and shuddered with release. Every ejaculation caused him to jerk and push against Aaden’s ass. He lightly bit Aaden’s lower lip as he felt the draining sensation of release.

The shower steamed up the small bath as Benjamin ran soapy hands over Aaden, washing away the sweat from his exertions. He kissed Aaden’s neck, then pressed their lips together. Pulling away he stooped to run his soapy hands along each long leg, feeling the soft red hairs rake the palm of his hands. Standing, he toyed with Aaden’s flaccid cock, then ran his fingers up through the dark red pubic hair and over the smooth slick skin.

It was ticklish to Aaden and he shoved Benjamin’s hand away, giggling for him to stop. Then he moved Benjamin from under the spray and began to soap his body, letting his hands roam over the lean body, exploring every aspect of it.

They stirred awake, both in Benjamin’s bed. Aaden’s had been torn apart and damp from their sweating exertions. The room was glowing with the filtered sunlight reflecting through the blinds. The light sheet was thrown back revealing their nakedness. They were aroused, cocks hard, and Aaden toyed with Benjamin till wet with arousal. Then he rolled onto his stomach. Benjamin eased into him, slowly, and began to fuck, to work his hips lazily, slowly, a morning fuck that could last forever.

It was nearly noon before they showered and dressed, both starving from their exertions. They were going to Emily’s, a restaurant on the far side of town that served brunch on Sundays. They would bike to it, enjoying the cool fall air and the leisurely ride across town. Aaden unlocked the door and stepped out with Benjamin behind him. He froze in the corridor. Benjamin wondered why and stepped around to his side seeing the reason for it. Across the corridor stood Matias in his door and leaning against the wall was Theo, Dilan and Paul, all smiling mischievously.

“OH…hey guys” said Benjamin.

“You guys are coming out late” said Theo, “what were you doing all night and this morning?”

“Huh…we…” Aaden stammered, his shyness coming to the surface again.

“Benjamin, I see you got your answer” interjected Paul, then turning to the others, “anyone want to go get a burger?”

As the guys debated on where they were going for lunch, Aaden and Benjamin pushed their bikes to the elevator. They wanted to have lunch alone. As they waited for the elevator, Benjamin thought about what Paul had said, on him getting his answer. He smiled as the elevator doors slid open. Inside the cab, the doors closed and the elevator descending, he laughed out loud.

“What so funny?” asked Aaden.

“It’s what Paul said.”

“What did he mean by that?”

“He had told me someone on the floor liked me, but he wouldn’t tell me who. Now I know” replied Benjamin, playfully rotating the front wheel of his bike so it bumped Aaden’s. “You do like me, right?”

Aaden blushed red and looked away, and with a shy, quiet voice replied, “yes.”