Four Letter Firsts

Authors Note,

Hello! Now, I know what you're thinking:

1. "Alex, how can there be a part 4 without a part 3?" The answer to that is very simple - I'm not finished writing part 3 yet. In order to keep them in chronological order, this is technically part 4, even though it's being posted first.
2. "Alex, the site is called GAYdemon. Not STRAIGHTdemon." And you are 100% correct about that but if you have no interest in reading about this particular encounter (which is part of a larger, gay story) then you don't have to. But I guess this is my official warning that yes, this chapter involves straight "sex" and no gay sex. That will be coming in the next (previous?) chapter.
3. "Alex, you're very good looking and humble." Yes. Yes I am. But I'm not perfect, so please excuse any errors you may find here until I can correct them. 

Thank you for reading. 

In the immortal words of Canadian icon Nelly Furtado: All good things come to an end. After almost a year of dating, my relationship with my first real boyfriend Ryan crashed and burned, leaving me in a deep depression for weeks. Nearly a month after the fact, I was still miserable when I joined Robbie and Nina for our monthly Bad Movie marathon at the Nguyen residence. Coincidentally, Robbie and his girlfriend Chelsea had recently broken up as well, so he was just as miserable as I was. However, unlike Ryan and I, Robbie and Chelsea would eventually end up back together but of course, we didn’t know that at the time. The purpose of Bad Movie Night (as the name would suggest) was to watch awful movies and make fun of them, but as we watched “Mean Girls 2”, neither Robbie nor I could bring ourselves to crack a single joke, or smile. Nina, on the other hand, was in good spirits; mocking the terrible dialogue and absurd outfits in the film while Robbie and I sat quietly, sharing a Costo sized bag of pretzels.

“I’m pretty sure I wrote better stories than this in middle school,” Nina insulted, “In fact, I think I DID write this script! Where are my royalties?!”

“I dunno,” Robbie mumbled, his mind else where.

“Mean Girls just isn’t Mean Girls without Lindsay Lohan, right Travis?” Nina tried in vain to get us involved.

“Sure,” I shruged, helping myself to more pretzels.

“And who designed their outfits?” She continued, desperately trying to make us laugh, “My grandma dresses better than that and she’s been dead since 2002!”

“That’s a shame,” I muttered.

“Sorry for your loss,” Robbie added.

“Oh, for the love of God!” Nina cursed, picking up her remote and pausing the movie, “You guys, Bad Movie Night isn’t going to be any fun if I’m the only commenting on the movie!”

“Sorry,” I apologized, “I’m just not in a very funny mood today.”

“Today, yesterday, tomorrow,” Nina replied, her patience for my break up induced depression wearing thin.

“Where’s everyone else? I thought you said you invited more people,” Robbie reminded her.

“David’s coming later, Lacey had to work and Max is on his way,” She answered, “So can you guys PLEASE snap out of it so we can actually enjoy ourselves tonight?”

“Are there more pretzels?” I asked, the bag having run dry.

“I’ve got you,” Robbie said, pulling another bag out of seemingly no where.

“I am NOT going to allow you both to just sit here all night gorging on junk food and being pathetic. This is supposed to be fun!” Nina complained.

“It’s hard to have fun when your heart’s been kicked in the balls,” I explained.

“Well, have you tried, I don’t know, getting over it?” Nina suggested.

“Easy for you to say. Your longest relationship has been with your vibrator,” I quipped.

“First of all, eat me. Second of all, I don’t think Ryan is worthy of you being THIS upset over. He is literally a 6 out of 10 on a good day and you are a solid 9.5. Same with you, Robbie, Chelsea is totally undeserving of you. Both of you are too good for them and I promise that you can, and will, find someone better. And third of all, eat me,” Nina repeated her point again.

“Great pep talk, Nina. But I still feel like shit,” Robbie replied.

“I feel lower than shit,” I added, “At least your girlfriend didn’t cheat on you.”

“She broke up with me an e-mail, dude. Not a text, not a direct message but A GOD DAMN E-MAI!  I don’t even check my email that often, we had been broken up for 3 days before I even knew it had happened!” Robbie snapped.

“Shut up!” Nina exploded, “I am not gonna sit here all night and listen to you guys bitch about your love lives, it’s over, move on!”

A knock at the door alerted us to Max’s arrival and Nina shouted that the door was open and for him to let himself in. Max walked in, looking even more depressed than Robbie and I put together.

“Hey, man,” Robbie greeted, “You good?”

“No, I’m not,” Max frowned, “I’m pretty bad, actually…”

“Oh my god, NO!” Nina snapped, standing up, “Maxwell, you listen to me right now! I don’t know what your issue is, who broke your heart, who cheated on you, whatever, but I’m not gonna put up with it, okay? I already have two sad sacks on my couch and I am NOT gonna tolerate another one so whatever your problem is, you either need to get over it, or get out!”

Max’s expression turned from sadness, to shock, then to anger.

“MY CAT DIED!” He shouted, before turning around and stomping back in the direction from which he came, walking out and slamming the door behind him.

“Shit,” Nina sighed, sitting back down on the couch, “Now I feel like an ass hole.”

“You are kind of an ass hole,” I agreed with her.

“Whatever. I’ll text him an apology gif later,” She said, standing up and walking over to the DVD player, “Do you guys want to pick a different movie to watch?”

“Actually, I think I’m gonna take off, too,” Robbie said, standing up.

“No!” Nina protested.

“I’m sorry,” He apologized, “I don’t want to spoil your movie night with my piss poor mood. I’m gonna go home and have a sad wank.”

“Robbie…” Nina tried to coerce, but he was having none of it.

“Sorry,” He apologized again, heading for the door, “Later.”

“God dammit,” Nina cursed, turning the movie off and sadly walking over to the couch and sitting down as Robbie walked out, “And then there were two.”

“I think I’m head out, as well,” I tried to say, but Nina literally pulled me back down onto the couch with her.

“Travis, you are not leaving me here alone!” She insisted, “Look, we don’t have to watch any more movies. Do you want to go get food? I’ll buy. Or we can go, like, bowling or something? Like, literally,  I’m down for anything, your choice.”

“I just want to go to bed,” I admitted.

“Okay, fine, let’s go to bed,” She agreed, grabbing my hand and dragging me off the couch.

“I meant MY bed,” I clarified.

“Your bed, my bed, who cares? A bed’s a bed,” She said, dragging me up the stairs. We entered her room and I laid down on her matress as she shut the door, then laid down beside me.

“You wanna talk? Gossip? Cuddle?” She offered, laying her head on the pillow beside mine.

 I shook my head and stared up at the ceiling.

“I don’t know why you’re taking this so hard, Travis,” She sighed, “It’s been like, a month already. I think this is becoming a little ridiculous. Like, Ryan isn’t even that great. Why are you letting him disrupt your life like this?”

“Because I love him,” I answered monotone, still staring at the ceiling.

“You love him?” She scoffed, “You love the guy who cheated on you, gave you an STI, dumped you and left you crying in the back seat of my car? THAT’S the guy you love?”

“Yep,” I answered, even though I knew she had a point.

“Travis, I know you don’t listen to my advice, like ever, but please believe me when I say that the best thing you can do right now is move on,” She encouraged.

“How?” I answered, turning to face her.

“Well…they say that the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else,” she suggested, propping her head up on her hand.

“And who do you propose I get under?” I asked, “It took me long enough to get ONE boyfriend, it’s not like I have a bunch of guys lined up to date me.”

Nina was quiet for a long time, staring at me blankly while I stared back at her.

“What?” I asked after an unbearably long silence. She responded by grabbing my face and pressing her lips against mine, causing me to jerk my head away in shock.

“WOAH!” I gasped, sitting up on the bed.

“What?” She asked, staring up at me innocently.

“You just kissed me!” I answered.

“So?” She shrugged casually.

“So, you’re a girl!” I explained.

“Thanks for noticing,” She scoffed, “What’s your point?”

“I’m gay,” I reminded her.

“Jesus Christ,” She rolled her eyes and sat up, “Travis, how many girls have you slept with?”

“Zero,” I replied, “Because I’m gay.”

“How can you claim not to like something you’ve never experienced?” She asked.

“Because I’m gay,” I repeated.

“How do you know you’re gay? Maybe you’re not bi?” She inquired.

“Because my dick gets hard for guys and it doesn’t get hard for girls,” I said very simply, “Because, and I know I sound like a broken record right now but here it is: I’m gay.”

“So, if I sucked your dick right now, it wouldn’t get hard?” She asked.

“Probably not,” I replied.

“Okay. Let’s find out,” She said, reaching for the zipper on my jeans.

“Woah, hey, wait, hold on, wait,” I said, blocking her hands, “Maybe you didn’t hear me the first four times I said it but…”

“Travis,” she interrupted, “Don’t you think you should at least TRY being with a girl before you decide you don’t like them?”

“Why are you pushing for this so hard?” I answered her question with a question.

“Because I want you to get over Ryan,” She replied.

“Is that all?” I asked, “Because it feels like there’s more to it than that.”

“What? Like, I like you or something?” She asked.

“It’s starting to feel that way,” I answered.

“Okay, and…?” She shrugged.

“Do you?” I rasied an eye brow. She withdrew her hands from my lap and backed up a little bit.

“I don’t know, like…yeah, kind of, I guess,” She half answered.

“But…I’m gay,” I said for a fifth time.

“I’m not,” She replied, “I mean, I’ve been your best friend since kinder garden, we’re together all the time, how can you expect me not to start you like you eventually? Like, I know you like guys but that really doesn’t change how I feel….”

Her sentence started to trail off into barely audible muttering.

“I don’t think you understand how much it sucks to want someone you cant have,” she concluded.

“Trust me. I do,” I answered.

“No, but like…” Her voice started to crack and it sounded like she was gonna cry, “You like, won’t even give me a chance, like….honestly, like….”

“Oh….shit,” I cursed, moving closer to her, “Please don’t….”

“It’s not fair!” She interrupted, in a much more confident voice, but with her eyes watering up none the less, “Like, you’re sitting here stressing over this guy who treated you like total shit and then there’s me, throwing myself at you, and you don’t even care.”

“You know I care about you, don’t say that,” I consoled, putting my arm around her, “You’re my best friend, I love you.”

“I love you too. Obviously,” she said, wiping her eyes.

“I love you like a sister,” I quickly clarified.

“Oh, great. The friendzone. My favorite place to be,” She rolled her eyes.

“I don’t like seeing you upset,” I said, putting my head on her shoulder.

“Well, now you know I feel when I see you crying about Ryan!”  She exclaimed.

 I sighed empathetically as I laid back down, patting the space on the bed next to me.

“Come. Lay. Cuddle,” I summoned. Nina laid back down, nestling in the crook of my arm.

“I’m sorry,” She apologized, wiping her eyes again.

“It’s okay,” I answered, kissing the top of her head, “I like cuddling with you, so does that make me bi-curious?”

“Maybe,” She answered, “I just wish I had a penis so you’d like me.”

“It’s about more than just having a penis. Max has a penis and we didn’t work out,” I reminded her.

“Yeah, but the difference is that you gave him a chance,” She fretted.

She had a point. We laid there in silence while I contemplated what to do next.

“Maybe you’re right,” I eventually exhaled.

“About what?” She asked, looking up at me.

“Can’t knock it ‘till you try it,” I relented, causing her eyes to light up like Victoria Day fireworks.

I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers, which she happily reciprocated, pulling me in closer and practically engulphing my entire face.

Admittedly, the sensation of kissing Nina was similar to what I had always felt when kissing girls in the past (Boredom) it was nice to feel affection again after what felt like an eternity from it, especially from someone who I knew legitimately loved me. As we made out, she gradually got on top of me, sitting on my lap while her lips and hands roamed all over me, as I sat awkwardly still with my hands at my sides.

“I don’t know what to do with my hands,” I admitted once she let me come up for air. She grabbed my left hand and placed it on her skirt clad ass and placed my right hand on her t-shirt covered breast. I kneaded them both but still didn’t understand what straight guys found so appealing about squeezing round sacks of tissue. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

She sat up and lifted her shirt up over her head, throwing it on the ground as she stared down at me wearing just her small pink bra.

“Do you want to try undoing it?” She offered, “There’s a first time for everything, right?”

“Um….okay….” I sat up and looked at the bra, searching for whatever was holding it together.

“The clasp is at the back,” She informed me.

“Oh,” I said, placing my hands behind her back and feeling for the release button, or Velcro, or whatever the hell keeps a bra on. After what felt like forever, I felt something un-hook.

“I did it!” I said triumphantly.

“Good job,” She congratulated, “One down. Two more to go.”

“Seriously?” I sighed, reaching back to try and recreate whatever I had done before, “Why are there three? Isn’t one enough? How is a guy supposed to do this when he can’t even see the damn thing?”

“Just grab the little piece of fabric hanging off, push it together and let go,” She replied, her patience wearing thing. I did just as she instructed and watched the straps off her bra drift down her shoulders.

“Very good,” she smiled, sliding it off and throwing it on the floor.

“Now what do I do?” I asked, staring cluelessly at her bare chest.

“What do you want to do?” She asked flirtatiously.

“I kinda want to box,” I answered, clenching my fists and miming the action of using her small perky breasts as punching bags, “Bang! Bang! Knock out!”

“Travis,” She sighed.

“Sorry. I’m new to this,” I apologized. She rolled her eyes and grabbed my hands, placing them on her chest.

“Just like… rub them, squeeze them, pinch them a little,” She instructed as she leaned down and continued making out with me. I did as I was told, which she seemed to like, as she started dry humping her panty covered crotch against the denim of my jeans.

“Yeah, that’s good,” She breathed, reaching down and grabbing the bottom of my t-shirt, pulling it off and leaving it on the bed. She trailed her kisses down my neck, across my chest, then back up to my mouth which, admittedly, felt nice, even though I would have still rather have a hot butch guy doing it.
She removed herself from on top of me and laid beside me, sliding her skirt and panties off in one swift motion. I laid there motionless, not sure what she wanted me to do. With guys, I at least knew the equipment I was dealing with, but a girls body was a whole different story, in a different book, at a different library, in another country where I don’t speak the language it’s written in.

“Now what?” I asked.

“Finger me,” She said bluntly.

“Uh, okay….” I said as I looked her up and down, moving closer to her and tapping my index finger repeatedly against the top of her vagina.

“What the hell are you doing?” She asked.

“I have no idea,” I admitted.

She spread her knees and grabbed my hand, placing it firmly against the opening between her tights.

“Take your middle finger and rub my clit up and down, right here,” She said instructed, clearing having an extremely more advanced knowledge of the female genitalia then I.

I pressed my finger between the bare folds of her vagina and was shocked at how damp it was.

“Why are you so wet?” I asked cluelessly.

“Because I’m hooking up with a cute guy that I really like? Duh?” She scoffed, pulling me in so I could kiss her again. As we made out, I followed her orders of rubbing my middle finger across her clit, which made me feel like a DJ scratching a record, so I had to suppress my urge to laugh.

“Fuck…fuck…” She panted, obviously enjoying herself more than I was, “Faster.”

I obligated, moving my middle finger up and down rapidly like I was hitting the back space on a keyboard.

“Yes….yes…” She gasped, gripping the back of my head with her hand, “Travis…yes, oh my god, Travis…”

“I’m not gonna lie, I NEVER thought I’d hear a girl saying my name like that,” I admitted.

“Put your fingers in,” She demanded, disregarding my comment.

“Which ones? How many? Which hole?” I asked. She grabbed my hand, separated my index and middle finger and pushed them in herself, which caused her moaning to intensify.

“In and out, go in and out,” she instructed, to which I obliged.

“Yes!”  She squealed, holding onto me for dear life, “Keep going, don’t stop.”

The vagina is an interesting orifice. I don’t know how deep it goes. I don’t know what’s in there. I don’t know how tight or loose it’s supposed to be. But what I do know is that, apparently, I’m not bad at fingering one.

“That’s good, that’s so good….” She groaned, her eyes rolling back, “Now like, curve your fingers and move them like you’re saying ‘come here’, okay?”

“Roger that,” I replied, which was probably the least sexy thing I could have said in that moment, but she didn’t seem to care because the instant I started doing the ‘come here’ motion, she looked like she was having an exorcism performed on her.

“Yes! Yes!” She cried out, pressing her face into my neck, a little too close to my ear to be honest because of how loud she was being and how high pitched her voice was but I didn’t want to kill her mood by telling her to use her inside voice.

“Keep going, keep going,” She gasped, “Oh my fucking god, Travis, yes….yes…”

I must have been having some insanely good beginners luck because before I knew it, she was screaming six words that I never, ever thought I would hear a woman say in my presence.

“You’re gonna make me cum, Travis!” She screamed. With her eyes squeezed shut, her hips lifted off the bed and she dug her nails so deep into my neck I might still have scars from it (I’ve never bothered to check) and I felt a warm rush of liquid spatter across my hand and splash onto the bed. She sounded like she was being stabbed and her body convulsed like she was having a seizure, before she eventually dropped back down onto the bed, gasping for air while I slowly removed my fingers to check if I had accidentally plucked out one of her organs. Instead, I saw a clear liquid glistening on my fingers and noticed soaking wet spot on the bed sheets between her legs.

“Did you just pee on me?!” I asked, offended.

“No…I…just…squirted,” She panted, her eyes still closed.

“Girls squirt out stuff when they cum?” I said, confused, “I didn’t know that.”

“Not… all…girls. Just….some,” She sighed, taking a deep breath and opening her eyes, “Are you sure you’ve never done that before?”

“Positive,” I answered, wiping my fingers off on her bed sheets.

“Wow…I think I owe you one,” she smiled as she sat up, reaching for the zipper on my pants once more.

“Um, no, that’s okay. Don’t feel obligated or anything….” I declined.

But she persisted, pulling down my jeans and boxers to see…well, not what she expected.

“You’re not hard,” She said, surprised.

“Do we have to go get a dictionary so we can read the definition of the word GAY together?” I asked. She rolled her eyes and got down between my legs, taking my flaccid penis in her mouth and slowly sucking it up and down. I closed my eyes and pretended she was Channing Tatum which actually helped and I started to get a bit of a hard on.

“Mmmm, there we go,” She purred, ruining my fantasy of her being a dude, “I told you. Your dick can’t get if it’s a boys mouth or a girls mouth, can it?”

“It can when you start talking,” I replied. She went back to sucking but despite her best efforts and no matter how much I tried to convince myself she was a guy, I was only able to get it up about half way before it started to deflate again when a stand of her long hair touched my leg, or she loud out a girlish moan.

“I think you should put your cock in my pussy,” She said suddenly, which I’m sure would have been music to a lot of guys ears, but to me, it just wasn’t appealing. Before I could protest, she had already hopped off the bed, grabbed a condom out of her purse and returned to the bed with it.

“Here,” she smiled, handing it to me, before laying back down on the bed with her legs spread open wide. I unwrapped the condom and made my best afford to put it on but I wasn’t hard enough. I tried over, and over again to place it on my soft dick but it was no use.

“You okay?” She asked after a very long time. I crumbled up the condom and stuffed it back in the wrapper, placing it on her desk beside the bed.

“I can’t. I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“I thought you said wanted to try it before you knocked it,” She pouted.

“I can’t, Nina. I mean, I PHSYICALLY cant,” I explained, admittedly, a little embarrassed.

“But-“ she tried to protest.

“I can’t get it up!” I said, frustrated, “I cant fuck you with a limp dick, can I?”

She frowned as she tried to work out a solution in her mind.

“Do you want me to try blowing you again?” She offered.

“No, Nina. It’s not happening. I’m sorry. I tried,” I said, grabbing my boxers and putting them back on.

“But, we’re so close!” She said, sitting up, “Do you want to watch gay porn? Or like, I can put on a hat and pretend to be a boy, or I can…”

I grabbed her face, holding it in place while I looked into her eyes.

“Nina,” I said, seriously, “You are an amazing person. Any guy would be lucky to have you. If there was any girl in the world that I would want to be with, it would be you. I love you so much. But not in THIS way.”

“But…I love YOU in this way,” she frowned.

“Look,” I sighed, “Do you remember what you said to me about Ryan? That’s how I feel about you. And one day, we are both gonna find great guys who want us back and who are worthy of us. And you will be the Best-Woman at my wedding and I will be your Bridesman and we’ll both make really inappropriate toasts about the time we tried to fuck but I couldn’t get it up.”

I felt relieved as a smile appeared on her face and she let out a little giggle.

“And besides,” I continued, “If you and I DID start dating, we would probably break up and end up hating each other just like Ryan I do now. And I don’t want to lose my best friend like that. So…maybe we both need to move on and accept the things we can’t change. I know it’s not easy and I know it hurts but….I mean, hey, at least I didn’t say this in an e-mail, right?”

Nina shook her head and chuckled.

“Poor Robbie, I literally feel so bad for him,” she laughed, “Chelsea is such a bitch.”

“To be fair, you DID scream at Max for having a dead cat,” I reminded her.

“Whatever!” She slapped my shoulder, “I didn’t know that! I’m not psychic!”

“It’s okay, it’s been a bad day for everyone. But um, anyways…” I looked her up and down, “Can you put your clothes back on please?”

“Why? You don’t like looking at this sexy body?” She joked, dancing around on the bed.

“No, not at all,” I laughed.

“Keep telling yourself that,” She taunted, “I know you loved fingering my tight little pussy.”

“Not as much as you did,” I winked.

“Um, calm down, it wasn’t THAT great. I’ve had better. Don’t get a big ego,” she teased.

“Oh, really? Is that why you were screaming….” I leaned back, writhing on the bed while I imitated her girating and high pitched squealing, “Oh Travis! Oh Travis! Yes!”

“Shut the fuck up!” She exclaimed, slapping my leg.

“Mmmm, Travis, Oh my god!’ I continued to mock.

“Yeah, okay bitch,” She sneered, standing up and grabbing her bra, “YOU’RE the one that couldn’t even get a boner.”

“I don’t get boners for girls,” I replied, sitting up, “No matter how loud they scream my name.”

“Whatever, Noodle-Dick,” She rolled her eyes.

“Don’t start with me,” I scoffed, grabbing my shirt and putting it on.

“Nope, you brought this on yourself,” she said, putting her clothes back on, while singing, “Nina and Noodle-Dick, sitting in a tree…”

“S-Q-U-I-R-T-ing!” I interrupted.

“I literally fucking hate you,” she said, putting her skirt back on.

“No. You literally love me,” I replied, “And I love you too, you rude little dwarf.”

“We’re the same height, ass hole,” She said, putting her shirt back on, “I need to go wash the taste of your schlong out of my mouth.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna need to wash your box-juice off my hands,” I said, standing up.

“It would have been funnier if you said juice-box,” she said as we exited the bedroom.  We went to the bathroom so I could wash my hands and she could brush her teeth.

“Do you want to watch a different movie?” She asked as we made our way downstairs.

“I guess we could try. Legally Blonde 2 looks pretty bad, we should watch that,” I suggested. As we walked into the living room, we were both shocked to see our friend David, sitting on the couch watching TV, eating the pretzels Robbie had left behind.

“DAVID!” Nina gasped, just as surprised as I was to see him there.

“David! Wow! Hey…dude,” I greeted awkwardly.

“I see you let yourself in,” Nina said, regaining her composure the best she could, “How long have you been here?”

David looked at Nina, then at me, before popping another pretzel in his mouth before replying,

“Long enough to hear you guys fucking.”