For the Love of a Dog

Maybe it’s not fair to blame the dog for everything that happened to me, but he sure seemed to be involved in most of my bad decisions, the reasons I would get in trouble, and for why I’m walking sixty miles to my grandparents’ house, hoping they’ll take me in.

I was three years old and sitting on the sidewalk at the bottom of the front porch steps when Spot walked up and sat in front of me. He was my dog from that moment on. No one ever knew where he came from, and no one claimed him. He didn’t have a collar; he wasn’t chipped.

Some people said he looked a lot like a small lab; others said he looked like a large beagle. My Uncle Bob said he had the temperament of a bloodhound; I still don’t know what that means. Uncle Brian said he had the patience of all the saints in heaven for putting up with me. He was probably right.

Early on, I got in trouble for not making sure he had enough water or giving him too much food. When he had an accident, I was blamed for not taking him outside. If Spot spilled his food, it was my fault for not training him well enough. I blamed Spot, but I always forgave him right away. When he brought mud into the house, well, that was my fault for not wiping his feet.

Several times when I was at an age when I shouldn’t have left my yard, Spot and I went on long nature walks through the woods behind the houses on our street. I was found once on the banks of the river about two miles from home. I remember getting yelled at over that one. I was in first grade and thought I was old enough to venture farther from home. My father disagreed, so did the policeman who brought me home. Spot made sad sounds as I was spanked with a belt. We didn’t go to the river alone until I was ten.

I think Spot had telepathy; he always knew when I was sad and how to cheer me up. He was excited when I was happy. No matter what anyone thought, I loved Spot, and he loved me. He held me every day when my mom got sick, and when she died, he licked my tears. I think my dad might have had an easier time if he’d have had a dog like Spot. Instead, he drank more beers, and life at my house lost a lot of happiness.

Spot was also good at keeping secrets. He was the first one I told when I realized I was gay, and he didn’t stop loving me. I told him when I had a crush on Christopher Baker. I think Chris liked me, too, but before we could tell each other anything, he moved away. When the bullies from school followed me home and tried to harass me, he growled and snapped his teeth. They ran off and stopped bothering me.

High school would have been unbearable if it hadn’t been for Spot. He was my only friend through high school. He could count on me, and I could count on him. I’d come home from school and tell him my day, and he’d listen When Amy Carrington’s step-brother moved in next door, Spot understood why I watched him from secret. His name was Beau, and he certainly was.

I was introduced to Beau on his second day in the neighborhood. He stood five-eleven, the same as me. He had dark eyes and shoulder-length dark brown hair. Even though he was only eighteen, a year older than I, he had a five-o’clock shadow by evening time. I could tell he was muscular and handsome, but he didn’t give me a second look.

Beau did go on a hike with Spot and me one time. We started on a trail not too far from my backyard and into the same woods I’d explored a million times. Beau saw us and just started talking and walking with us. He was in running shorts, and his beautifully muscular legs were on display the entire time.

“So, do you have a girlfriend, Jakob?” he asked.

“No.” I shook my head, and Spot spun around to look at me.

“A boyfriend?” Beau chuckled a little as he said it.

“Just you,” I laughed.

Beau laughed, too, and Spot barked.

“He’s jealous,” said Beau.

I wanted to say that he had reason to be, but I was a chicken.

“What are you going to do after graduation?”

“I’m trying to decide between the military and a trade school. I haven’t decided. What about you?”

“I was working with one of my grandfathers doing plumbing work until there was a problem at one of the sites and I ended up covered in shit. A poorly designed septic system. A pipe came loose and the septic tank collapsed and I fell in. I still have nightmares.”

“Yuck.”

“That’s when I came to stay with my dad for a bit. I need to decide if I want to try to be an electrician like my other grandfather is. I can’t live being a bagger at the grocery store.”

“I didn’t know you worked there,” I said.

“Yeah, it’s only part-time, but it’s a job.”

I made a plan to stop by the store to catch him at work. I bet people loved seeing those arms put groceries into a bag.

Beau’s only possession was a white pickup truck with dark blue pinstriping. He washed that truck weekly, and I was glad. He always wore skimpy shorts or these swimsuits like water polo guys wear. He had a great ass, a nice bulge, and a hairy muscular chest. Sometimes, as I watched him wash the truck, Spot would beg to go out. He would walk over to the Carrington’s and watch Beau wash. That gave me an excuse to come over.

Beau would joke that Spot wanted to make sure the truck was ‘spot-less.’ I’d laugh at the corniness of it and offer to help, and occasionally, Beau would drive us to Sonic to get a drink. We would talk about nothing, and I would kick myself afterward for not telling him how I felt.

The day before graduation was a really grueling day at school. We practiced standing in line, getting in line, walking to our assigned seats, how to get on stage. I came home exhausted, and Spot did not come to greet me. He’d been acting very tired for the past several days, and I wondered whether I needed to change the food he was eating.

Beau walked up behind me and told me that Spot had come over to visit him a little earlier and just didn’t seem to be his regular self. I followed him back to his house; he’d let Spot inside, and Spot was on a rug next to the couch. Spot lifted his head; I sat down next to him and rubbed the top of his head. He leaned his head against me, and I scratched him behind the ear. I rubbed his neck as I held him close to me. Spot nuzzled his nose against my leg, closed his eyes, and died.

I was in disbelief as I realized that he wasn’t breathing. I don’t remember what happened next. Beau told me I started to scream ‘No’ and began to cry. He told me that he guided me to his bed that was in the dining room and tried to get me to lay down. He said I kept holding on to him. He said eventually, I began to just sob. I have these vague memories of his rubbing my head. He said I finally fell asleep.

Beau and I buried Spot in the woods. We dug the hole as deep as we could. He was wrapped in his favorite blanket, and we covered him with rocks to keep predators out. Beau stood with me after we finished covering him. I reached over and held his hand; he didn’t pull away.

I’m not sure how long we stood there, but we finally turned and went back to my house. I stepped up onto the first step of the back porch and turned to face Beau.

“Thank you,” I said softly.

He reached up and held my hand in his. “What else can I do for you, Jakob?”

I’m not sure what came over me at that moment, but I said, “Take me upstairs and make love to me.”

Beau stepped up next to me and took my head in his hands. He leaned toward me; his long hair tickled my cheeks as he pressed his lips against mine. “I wanted to tell you months ago how attractive I find you,” he said. “You stir something inside me.” He kissed me again.

I brought my hand around to touch his hair, and I opened my lips to allow his tongue to explore. “I want this, Beau, and so much more.” I touched the tip of my tongue to his. Electricity shot through me. I moved my hand down to touch his ass cheek, something I had dreamed about doing.

Suddenly, Beau was pushed to the ground, and I was slapped across the face. “What the fuck are you doing?” The thundering voice of my father echoed back from the woods. He grabbed me and pulled me onto the porch; I lost my footing and fell.

“What do you think we’re doing?” I yelled.

My father threw his beer bottle at my feet; it shattered, spraying us with glass and liquid.

“Sir. We care about each other,” said Beau.

“You get the fuck away from here before I blow your fucking head off,” my father’s voice was a deep, quiet growl. It scared me.

“Get away,” I said.

Beau turned and ran toward his house. I heard him start his truck and drive off. I got up and went inside to my room. I packed my suitcase with the clothes I figured I would need; I made sure that I had my driver’s license, and I put what little cash I had in my shoe. I wrote a note to Beau, and I walked out of the only house I’d ever known.

My first stop was the grocery store. I left the note there for Beau, and I headed toward my grandparents’. I didn’t hitchhike; I walked. Two days later, I was so hungry that I could barely stand it. I’d brought water with me, and was able to fill the container back up thanks to the kindness of people I saw along the way. A sign indicated the next town was five miles ahead, and I knew that I would have to buy myself something to eat. I was trying to decide what I would get when I heard the sound of a vehicle coming up the road.

I stepped off the shoulder but kept walking as a white pickup with blue pinstripes stopped next to me. Beau jumped out and ran over to me. He held me to him then helped me to his truck. The cool of the air conditioner felt good. Beau closed my door and went over to his side. I looked over at him and smiled. “You came after me. I was expecting a letter.”

“For fuck’s sake, of course, I came after you.” Exasperation filled his tone. “You’ve been driving me crazy since the first day I met you, and I finally get to kiss you, and you’re on another hike.”

I slid next to him. “Kiss me again. So I know it’s real.” He kissed me and rubbed his forehead against mine.

“So,” he said softly, “you’re heading to your grandparents. Do they know you’re on your way?”

“No. I’m just going to show up. I’m going to take welding classes at the school there. Once I’ve got a paying job, I can get us a place. My grandparents have an apartment over their garage, but I’m not sure they’ll let us live there together.”

“I can’t live at your grandparents’ house without having a job.”

“Let’s just get there; I need to shower and sleep.”

“Buckle up, and don’t touch me while I’m driving. It’s too distracting,” Beau laughed. “And besides, you smell.”

“And I thought you’d want to lick the smelly sweat off me,” I smirked.

“Gag,” he replied and made a face.

I clicked my seat belt and leaned back. I fell right asleep.

“Jakob, wake up and tell me which house. I only remember the street, and the note is in my back pocket. Come on, which house?”

“Is this Buckner Street?”

“No, it’s Buchanan.”

“They live on Buckner,” I said.

“Shit. I thought I remembered.” Beau pulled to the side of the street.

“It’s no big deal. Just turn right at the next street. It’s only about ten streets away.” I started laughing. “You’re closer than when we started.”

“Haha.” He put the truck in gear, and we got to my grandparents’ house with no problems.

My grandparents were in the front yard as we pulled into the driveway. I jumped out and ran to hug my grandfather.

“We were thinking about coming to see you next week,” he said as he squeezed me. “What’s the reason for the visit?”

I hugged my grandmother. “Well,” I said. “I ran away from home.”

They both got a serious look.

“But I brought my boyfriend,” I said without taking a breath.

My grandmother gave a certain look to my grandfather.

“What?” I asked as Beau walked up.

“When you were six, your mother confided to me that she thought you were gay.”

I took a deep breath. “What did you tell her?”

“I said, ‘Who gives a shit. My brother Anthony was queer, and I didn’t care. I just wanted him to be happy.’”

“I love you, Grandma.” I hugged her again. “This is Beau.”

Beau shook hands with them.

“Hey,” said my Grandfather. “Where’s Spot? I want him to meet his children.”

I started to cry. Beau held me to him. “Shhh. It’s OK,” he whispered. Then, to my grandfather, he said, “Spot died a couple of days ago.” He patted my back. “I think Spot brought us together and made us realize we had feelings for one another.”

“I’m sorry, Jakob.” My grandfather put his hand on my shoulder. “I know he was family.”

“Joshua,” said my grandmother, “why don’t you open the apartment for Jakob and Beau, and I’ll get some dinner started. Jakob needs a shower. Looks like he was rode hard and put up wet.” She started toward the house.

“Y’all get your clothes. Actually, Beau, you want to pull the truck up closer to the garage there.”

My grandfather and I walked back around the house, and he retrieved the key. “I’m going to let you two get settled. Everything’s the way you left it from last time, except the sheets were changed.”

“Thank you, Grandpa.” I kissed his cheek and hugged him. I walked to the truck as he went into the house. I pulled my suitcase from the back.

Beau had a duffle bag. He whispered, “Your grandmother thinks we’ve been fucking.”

“What?” I smiled at him. “No, she doesn’t.” I looked toward the house, “do you think?”

“Yes, that comment about your needing a shower.” His cheeks turned red.

“You want me to tell her that we haven’t. I can let her know that we’ve only kissed. I haven’t even seen your dick. Although, with some of those skimpy shorts you’ve worn while washing your truck, I’ve seen an outline of it.”

“I was hoping to draw you in,” he gave me a peck on the cheek.

“I was drawn in before I saw that monster bulge.” I carried my case up the stairs, dropped it at the top of the stairs, and went into the bathroom to turn the water heater on. “We’ll be able to shower in about twenty minutes.”

“Why not now?”

“Water would be ice cold. It’ll give me time to put our clothes away.” I opened my suitcase. “I cannot believe that my Uncle Stuart was gay.”

“I can’t believe your mom knew you were a little faggot at the age of six. Did she catch you blowing your friends in the basement?”

“You’ve got some weird fantasies, you know. Which reminds me, how many boyfriends have you had?”

“You’re the first. I’ve only crushed on one other guy. It was… not good. I guess that’s why I was afraid to tell you. A few weeks ago…”

I noticed that Beau was tearing up. I walked over to him.

He wiped his eyes. “A few weeks ago, Spot came over while I was sitting in the backyard. I told him that I was falling in love with you and that I wanted him to tell you. I know that it’s silly, but he connected me to you.”

“He used to sit with me while I spied on you from the upstairs window. When you were washing your truck, he would beg me to take him outside.”

Beau kissed my forehead. “Fuck, but that dog was smart.”

“Help me finish with the clothes, and then we can take our first shower together.”

The water pressure was strong, and the water was hot as Beau scrubbed my back and I scrubbed his. When I touched his cock, I felt it get stiffer in my hand. We were about the same thickness, but he was a little longer than my six inches. I got onto my knees and moved my tongue over the head of his hard penis. I felt a tingle in my ass that caused me to squeeze my cheeks together.

I circled my lips around him and moved up and down the shaft. I enjoyed the sensation of his rigid dick moving across my lips. His guttural moans told me he liked it as well. His hands reached down to the top of my head, and he thrust his hips toward me and came. His ejaculate was thin and slightly salty. I swallowed it easily, and he became a part of me.

He pulled me up. His hair covered his face; I began to push it back, and he helped, exposing a happy grin. I kissed him. “I always come too fast when I’m thinking about you,” he said. The water started to cool down, and I shut it off. I grabbed each of us a towel. Beau spent more time drying his hair than I spent on my whole body. I dried his back. While I worked on his legs, I sucked on his dick some more.

A strange thing happened as I began to dry the back of his legs. I got the urge to lick his hole. I pulled his cheeks apart and ran my tongue over it.

“Fuck, Jakob. That’s awesome,” he cried. “Here, take this.” He handed me some ointment. “Use this and put your fingers into me.”

I did as he asked, and he made quiet moans as I pushed my finger in and out of him, until I hit his prostate. His teeth clenched together, and he hissed. “Take me to the bed and do me with your dick,” he said. “Put that on your dick, so it will go in better.”

I covered my cock with the ointment as we crawled into the bed. Beau got on his back and lifted his legs. I looked down at his sculpted, hairy body, and I got chills. My dick jerked upwards.

The room got super silent. Beau pulled his cheeks apart. I pushed the head of my penis against his hole. His hole resisted for a moment, and then I popped inside. He gasped, and I moved closer, penetrating him more deeply. It was so natural, and once I felt that I was as far as I could go, I leaned forward and kissed him.

Without any purposeful thinking, I began to pump in and out of him. Little sounds came from his throat, and I increased the speed of our fuck. I wanted him so much for so long, and now he was mine and I was his, and we were together. It did not take long for me to fill him with my seed, and when I was finished, he held me tightly to him.

I heard the door downstairs click and open. My grandfather called up, “You two get your clothes on and come to dinner.”

“We’re already dressed,” I called down. “We’ll be right there.”

“Don’t lie to me. Get your pants on.” I heard him laughing as he closed the door.

Beau started laughing, too. We dressed quickly and ran to the main house. I opened the door, and Daisy pushed into me.

“What’s up, girl?” I asked. She looked up at me and tilted her head before she nuzzled it against me.

“She acts as if she knows,” said Beau.

“Maybe she does. Spot always came with me.” We went into the house and made our way to the dining room. “What’s this? Wow!”

“It’s just some Kosher hot dogs and some bison chili. There are some corn chips, too if you want a Frito pie. Regular chips are over there. If I’d had more warning…”

“It’s a feast, Grandma,” said Beau. “I’ve never had bison chili.”

“It’s healthier than beef.”

“That’s because it’s missing its ‘mooooo’,” I added.

I heard a yip and turned to see a puppy, a puppy that looked like a young Spot, except that this puppy had a little spot of white hair on her head.

“We named that one ‘Dot’,” said my Grandmother.

I crouched down on my haunches. Dot walked over to me and sat. She looked right into my eyes.

My grandfather came in. “Those dogs aren’t allowed…” My grandmother put her hand up to stop him.

Tears had begun to fill my eyes. Dot came next to me and rubbed her head against my knee. I knew that everything was going to work out.