A Short Journey
Lac kissed my ear and whispered my name. “Marvin, are you awake?”
“Mm hmm.”
“Push your hole out.”
I didn’t question Lac’s instructions. I pushed out. He rubbed the head of his fat cock against my hole and pressed into my slick insides. He bottomed out and wriggled around to stir his thick hardness in my guts. The violation woke me the rest of the way. I rolled my hips to tell Lac I was ready for him to move. He started to fuck me slowly.
He nibbled my ear and lapped at the back of my neck. “I woke up hard as a rock. I had to have you. Good thing you’re still full of lube from last night.”
I took a breath to say something but forgot what it was when I noticed the scent of the room. “You reek.”
“So do you. I feel so fucking nasty right now. If I wasn’t fucking your butt, I think I’d be grossed out.”
“Me too. I want to ride you so I can get my face in your disgusting pits.”
“Such a pig.” Lac complimented. He kept himself inside me and rolled us both onto our backs. I sat up and rotated on his cock to face him. He sat up and raised his muscular arms to reveal his deep, sweat-saturated, hairy pits. Powerful musk radiated from them. I rubbed my face into one. The stink I found there was gross. Only my throbbing arousal made the scent alluring. Lac used his free hand to raise my opposite arm so he could huff my stink at the same time. I luxuriated in his scent while I worked my ass up and down his cock.
Lac breathed in my musk and exhaled it as dirty talk. “You’re so sloppy. There isn’t even enough grip left in your hole to pull my foreskin back. I fucking love it. I love how wrecked you are. It makes me hot that I did that to you.”
I breathed him in and added my own dirty thoughts. “I love it too. I love my blown-out hole. I love how easy I can take your cock now. Makes me hot to feel like there’s so much room in there. Maybe I should invite some more guys over. I could use another smelly bear to stuff my hole while I ride you.”
“Don’t you dare! You’re my pig. That wrecked gash belongs to me!”
Between the mutual sniffing and dirty talk, it didn’t take long before Lac flooded my guts with his load. I let him marinate inside me while I jerked myself to finish all over his stomach and chest.
I used my implant to tell the hot tub in the other room to fill. I stayed in Lac’s arms and kissed him until the bath was ready. I peeled myself away from him and led us both into the hot water. I let the water run in the tub while we washed so the soap and grossness off our bodies would run down the overflow drain and be replaced with fresh. When we were clean, I settled into Lac’s embrace again to enjoy the closeness.
“Did you mean what you said?” I asked. I turned myself to face him and wrapped my legs and my arms around his body. I put my forehead against his and asked my question directly into his overheated face. “Did you mean what you said about my gash belonging to you?”
“Of course I did.” His hands slid along my thighs until they wrapped around my ass. His fingers teased my puffy, swollen rim. “I made this hole and it’s mine.”
I kissed Lac for his kind words. “Does that mean you’ll marry me? Have you made up your mind?”
His eyes flared in surprise and fear. His teasing fingers fell away from my hole. “I’m still working on my decision. You’ve given me a lot to think about and there’s still more to know.”
I jerked away from him. “WHAT?”
Lac asked a question that I thought he shouldn’t have had to. “Is that not good enough?”
I climbed off him and stood up in the tub. “No, it’s not fucking good enough.”
He seemed confused. “Would you have chosen not to have sex with me last night if I told you I was still uncertain? Last night was no different than when we were dating. We had lots of sex, and we never knew if we were going to spend our lives together.”
I bent down to give my answer directly into his face. “The difference is, the question hadn’t been raised.”
Lac remembered something from the night before. He blurted it out to mitigate my hurt feelings. “Wait a minute! I did tell you. I told you when we woke up from the dream you gave me. I told you I had to think and that I didn’t have all the facts yet. I was honest!”
“Skip it.” I said as I got out of the tub and grabbed my towel in a huff. “Come on. It’s time to get moving. I guess I’m gonna have to tell you the whole goddamned thing before you’ll decide. The sooner we get started, the sooner we’ll get finished.”
“Marvin, I’m sorry.” He said lamely while I scrubbed myself dry.
“Like hell.” I barked and stormed from the room.
* * * *
Sam greeted me when I strode from the playpen into the kitchen. He acted like he hadn’t seen me in days. He stood up and put his front paws on my shoulders to hold me so he could lick my face. Lac hurried out of the playpen while Sam was still trying to drown me in dog slobber. “He’s got good taste!” Lac joked again.
I gritted my teeth over his teasing. I wanted to smile over it, but I was hurt and angry. I tried to be optimistic and consider the incident as just another speedbump along the road to our eventual union. I forced myself to forgive Lac for hurting me. It wasn’t his fault, it was mine. I remembered when I heard him say that he still needed to hear the rest of the story. He said it right before he said that he wanted to fuck. I could have refused his advances, but I wanted him carnally as much as he wanted me.
I needed to tell Lac that I was wrong, but I had to get away from Sam first. I hugged my dog and connected our implants. I promised to feed the big, silly mutt if he would stop licking me. He agreed. I dished out Sam’s breakfast and washed my face in the kitchen sink. When I was done, I leaned against the counter to speak to Lac where he was seated at the table.
“I’m sorry, about before. You said you weren’t sure. I got excited when you started to act possessive. I thought maybe you’d already decided to have me. I enjoyed you last night and this morning. I don’t want to lose that. As hard as this has been for you, it’s been every bit as hard for me. That’s not an excuse for being snappy with you, but it’s a reason. So…anyway, sorry.”
Lac scooted his chair back and shifted his weight onto his feet. He looked like he was going to get up, but he didn’t. He put his weight back on his ass and stayed seated. “I accept your apology.” He said blandly.
I guessed that was all I was going to get, so I did my best to set the matter aside. I made coffee and a simple breakfast for him and me. I also laid out my plan for the day. “I think we should go to Washington. We can catch the train down and I can show you what happened in the place where it happened.”
Lac voiced one practical concern before he agreed to the trip. “Will we be back tonight? I’m more-or-less caught up at work, but I don’t want to leave my boss in a lurch. If we’re gonna be late or if we’ll need to stay over, I’d rather let him know now.”
“I don’t think that will be necessary, but if you want to be extra cautious, then call him.”
Lac used his implant to call his boss. The man was very gracious. He said that the big order they’d been working to fill was almost complete and even without Lac they could finish it on Monday. If he needed to take the day, he was welcome to it. Lac thanked him and put himself entirely in my hands.
I told him to get dressed and then we’d be on our way. I got dressed, did a quick cleanup of Sam’s business in the backyard, and contacted one of the neighbors to ask them to give Sam his dinner if Lac and I got held up. She agreed readily because she liked me and loved Sam. I used my implant to convey to Sam that Lac and I were going to be gone for the day. Sam tried to lick me again, but I fended him off. I had already washed twice that morning and I didn’t want to have to do it again. I hugged my dog and patted his head and told him to have a nice day without us. He barked in agreement and we left.
We took a hover car to 30th Street Station and boarded a passenger train bound for Baltimore and Washington DC. As we took our seats, with Lac on the window side because this was his first train ride, he asked about something that happened in the station. “What did you do to help that old man?”
As he and I crossed the vast, marble-clad concourse of the ancient train station, he pointed out an old man who was struggling with a ticket kiosk. The few kiosks that were still in operation stood in a straight line at one end of the concourse. They were directly beneath the bronze bas-relief sculpture of the mythical deity known as the Spirit of Transportation. Lac and I didn’t need to use the kiosks because we both had implants. All we had to do to purchase a ticket was think about it. The old man was obviously a Luddite. He had no implant and therefore had to purchase his ticket the old-fashioned way.
The modern world refers to anyone who is skeptical of technology as a Luddite. Just because the world lumps all these people under a single name, does not mean they are a cohesive group. Some shunned the implants on religious grounds, some did it because they were tin-foil hat wearing conspiracy theorists. There were a few who preferred to live an ascetic life without the encumbrance of constant communication. The old man seemed to be the religious type with his plain black clothing, long beard, and flat hat.
I hate to see anyone struggle, especially if I’m in the position to help. I approached and offered my assistance. He appreciated the intervention. “Why thank you, young man. As you might guess, I’m not much accustomed to these here contraptions and I can’t quite make the machine see things my way. I keep telling it I want to go to Rochester, up in New York to see my son. He’s getting married next weekend and needs help to put the farm in order so he can take some time to see to his new bride. I’m fixin’ to go up to offer whatever help this old man can be.” The man was of advanced age, but he had an upright carriage and looked strong and hearty in spite of his years.
I checked the touch screen on the kiosk and followed the same steps the old man had. The end of my effort did not result in a ticket. I used my implant to ask my digital self to see what the problem was. It turned out there had been a recent update to the system and some of the programming had gotten crossed up. I patched up the programming and had The System direct the kiosk to give the old man his ticket. He thanked me profusely, shook my hand with the iron grip of someone who makes his living with his hands, and strode away toward his platform.
Lac emphasized his question. “I watched what you did. You went through the screens just like he did. It was obvious the kiosk wasn’t working. Then you did something. I know you did because the screen flickered, then the kiosk printed the ticket. What did you do?”
I hesitated to explain because the reason Lac and I were on our way to DC was so I could show him the very thing he asked about. I decided to explain in broad terms instead of specific ones. “I exist in two places. One version of me is here with you. I live in this body and interface with the world like every other human does. The second version of me exists within The System. The two versions are connected, but they act independently. The digital me performs his daily tasks while the physical me does the same. At night when the physical me rests, the two versions come together to update each other. That’s also when the physical me helps the digital me deal with his stress. The digital version has a very demanding job. He gets to live vicariously through me.”
Lac interjected something he remembered from the conversations we had the day before. “He keeps The System from going mad. What does that mean?”
I shook my head because I wasn’t ready to explain that part yet. “That will have to wait until we get to where we’re going. For the sake of your original question, I’ll tell you that my digital self is connected to everything. He can influence or directly interfere in anything The System touches. Usually, he remains in the background as a positive force to keep the world a peaceful place. In some cases, he will pull the levers of power to exert his will. The thing with the kiosk was a minor version of that. Normally he wouldn’t get involved in something as trivial as a programming error, but I wanted to help the man, so he did what I asked.”
Lac repeated some of my words to understand them better. “You are connected to anything The System touches. Is that how you can project your memories to my implant?”
“Yes.”
“You said artificial intelligence doesn’t exist. Does that mean you operate the implants, not a machine like the Synthetic Reality company says?”
“No, not really. The System operates the implants. My digital self monitors the emotional feedback from the units. He doesn’t invade anyone’s private thoughts unless he senses evil intent. Even when he senses evil, he will not interfere unless the evil is shared across a group. You might notice that terrorism is mostly a thing of the past, but we still have individual murders. The digital me does his best to soften any hatred which might exist between groups. Usually, that’s enough to prevent tribalistic wars and mass killings.
“It wouldn’t be fair to humanity for him to police all actions by all people, though he does have the capacity. Individual sovereignty must be maintained, or else there is no freedom. Therefore, he will not involve himself in preventing criminal activity, including murder. He does his best to limit crime by making the world a better place. As you can see from the historical record over the last five-hundred years, his efforts have been largely successful. Contented people don’t often commit atrocity.”
Lac looked at me very intently, like he was doing his best to absorb the implications of what I said. “You said your other self has the capacity to police individual actions. Does that mean he can read minds? And if he can, that means you can too, right?”
“He can, but he doesn’t.”
“But nothing prevents him from doing it.”
“Only his commitment to the right of self-determination.”
Lac shook his head like he didn’t quite believe me. “Have you read my mind?”
“Once, sort of.” I admitted.
My boyfriend’s face scowled at what he assumed was a willful invasion of the privacy of his mind. “Sort of?” He demanded. “What the hell does that mean?”
I shushed Lac to keep him from disturbing the other passengers on the train. I leaned close to whisper my answer. “Last night when you called my hole a highway tunnel, I wanted to see. That’s why I had you touch me. I don’t need physical contact to do it, but it helps because I’m not as close to The System as the digital version of me is. All I did was look through your eyes to see my wrecked hole. I didn’t do anything else.”
Lac’s expression went from appalled scowl to amused smirk in an instant. “It was pretty hot. I guess I’m glad you got to see it. Could you make the experience go the other way? Could you show me my hole?”
“Sure. I could share all my senses with you. If you really wanted to be a pig, I could share the entire experience the next time I eat your gash. Would that turn you on? Being able to basically eat your own ass?”
Lac’s gaze suddenly softened. His mind withdrew. In a moment he spoke, but it wasn’t to me. “Yeah, boss? If you’re sure you can spare me tomorrow, I’m going to take the day. Great, really appreciate it. Thanks.”
He returned to the conversation with me. “Um, yes, I’d like that. Do you think we could do that sometime? Or maybe later today, and all day tomorrow?”
I broke up laughing over how quickly Lac’s moral objections faded when I offered an unusual erotic experience. I almost asked him if he still planned to be around tomorrow, but I knew he wasn’t ready to make his decision, so I let the matter lay.
By the end of our chat, the train pulled into Baltimore. The train took only thirty minutes to travel the hundred miles from Philadelphia to Baltimore city. We had a ten-minute stop in Baltimore, then it would be another fifteen minutes to cover the forty miles to DC. Lac and I didn’t talk much during the stop. We watched the people get on and off the train. Lac had another question once we were rolling again. “Marvin, are you lonely? Are either of you lonely?”
I admitted that I was, that both of me were. “It’s difficult to go on and on like this. Being granted a physical body helps. The first forty-six years when I only existed digitally, that was the hardest. Being a physical being who can experience the world firsthand is important. It helps me maintain perspective.
“The hardest part is that so many of the people who were important to me are dead. Tom and Miss Mastrangelo, all the kids I went to school with back in the nineties, all seven of my spouses, even most of my children are dead. I have tons of grandchildren and great grandchildren and great-great-great grandchildren, but I would never try to be a part of their lives. Who could I tell them I am?
“I ran into one of my great grandchildren last year at a singles event. My digital self warned me. I made sure I stayed well away from him so he wouldn’t try to pick me up. That was tough, being so close to a family member and not being able to tell them who I am. I’ve only ever told my story to my spouses. I never told my children. It’s not their business to know and it wouldn’t be fair to burden them with the knowledge.”
“Would it be easier if you had a partner to help with the work your digital self does? Have any of your spouses ever offered to share it with you?”
Lac’s question brought back a bitter memory of my second life. “One did, my second husband begged me to allow him into The System. I didn’t because his request had nothing to do with keeping me company. We were together for thirty-three years when he was diagnosed with cancer. The scourge of disease hadn’t yet been eliminated from the world and he was afraid to die. He begged me to save him, and he cursed me when I wouldn’t. I was never able to convince him that this endless existence isn’t exactly a blessing. He would have been miserable inside The System, but he was afraid of the alternative. He died cursing me.”
“The others never asked?”
I shook my head. “There are no outward signs of my endlessness. If you decide to marry me, we will get old together. The body I inhabit will age just like yours will. It will ache and shrink and wrinkle as time ravages it. I will slow down, like everyone else. Eventually, this body will die. After years of watching me age, each of my spouses managed to convinced themselves that what I told them was an elaborate lie. When decades had gone by and they saw no more proof of my original story, they stopped believing. They didn’t ask me to save them from death because they no longer believed I could save myself.”
Lac was incredulous. “How is that possible? How could they doubt what you showed them?”
I told Lac the bitter truth. “You will too, Lacas. You’re a young man. You still think your life will go on forever. Someday when you have more days behind you than in front, when the horror of this limited existence starts to weigh heavy on your mind, you’ll look to me and you won’t believe.
“You won’t believe because you won’t want to. You’ll convince yourself that it wouldn’t be fair for you to die and for me to start again. The idea of it will be too attractive when you’re sixty, or seventy, or eighty, or ninety. When you’re close to the end, the idea of another life won’t feel like a burden. Because you will see no way for you to have what I said I had, you’ll withdraw your faith in my story and with it, your faith in me. And that, my love, is the loneliest thing of all.”
Lac took my hand from where it rested in my lap and held it tightly. He squeezed words of support out of a throat that sounded like it was choked with emotion. “I’m sorry, Marvin; truly.”
“Thank you.”
We were still holding hands when the train pulled into Washington.
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