Dorm Room Dilemma

Ordering My First Dildo

Over the first weeks of the first semester even with the constant distraction of Ryder’s majestic naked body I’d managed to keep my grades up. The first semester coming to a close winter break was upon us. I continue to experience recurring sexual fantasies, confusion, and some fears regarding my college roommate. 

Since puberty I’ve been somewhat confused about my sexual identity. For some reason the beauty of certain male bodies, even though I dated females, have dominated my sexual fantasizes. Throughout my school years when my male classmates dreamed about naked female entertainers I dreamed about certain male athletes and entertainers: what they might look like naked, aroused, all boned up. 

Teenage girls carry snapshots of adolescent heartthrobs many times becoming giddy at the mere mention of the idol’s names or viewing his photograph. Girl’s rooms are adorned with life-size posters of actors or singers; whereas, my male friend’s room many times exhibited posters of scantily clad female entertainers.  

My curious mind told me that my female classmates more likely than not finger banged their pussies to climax while fantasizing about the dreamboat sex symbols posted on their walls fucking them. Why not? I did the same thing regarding male superstars as well as certain of my male friends. I can’t count the number of times I beat off at night thinking about my macho older brother’s friends who would spend nights at our house. 

I drooled over their fucking fabulous hot athletic bodies when they wore nothing but swim trunks around the pool: hopeful one night one of the hotties might stumble into my room and get into bed with me. Male celebrities filled my thoughts day and night, and if it wasn’t some superstar then one of my classmates caught my attention.  

In the halls at school, locker rooms or after school many of the guys would gossip about their sexual conquests. Many times, I secretly questioned the validity of their stories. I fantasized about engaging in mutual masturbation and oral sex with certain males choolmates even though I had a girlfriend.  

In high school I surreptitiously listened to the lurid sex stories some of the older boys would tell about“faggots” and the sexual activities fags engaged in with their male boyfriends, and then I’d laugh along with the group. 

Yes, even in our so called accepting diverse society certain offensive slurs still abound today. My open mind tells me that Ryder maybe advertising his stuff hoping I’ll take the bait; however, I feel his lure maybe a trap. An unsophisticated ploy to turn me out, unmasking me as gay to the college community, but why would he do that?  

Maybe my mind might be playing tricks on me due to the stress-related environment of college life. My readings and studies as well as late night Internet adult entertainment sessions left me in a state confusion and fatigue; however, I’ve managed to stay on course with my classes, all while maintaining a healthy Dean’s List GPA. Before or if any of my fantasies turn into reality many of my secret questions need answers. 

Although personable, Ryder’s a hard book to read; but moreover, he’s one hella seductive exhibitionist. There are times I want to grab him pulling him close engaging him in a soulful kiss. Despite the fact that I’ve never kissed another boy I’ve experimented sexually with a few guys while going through puberty; however, Ryder’s beautiful bewitching body is becoming harder to deny. His awesome body so well-toned, face so angelic, eyes so beguiling, lips so kissable, an impressive succulent cock, and a magnificent ass that appears so very fuckable. For some mysterious reason I want him—I want his body—I wanted his cock inside me.  

I want Ryder to fill my ass with that big beautiful cock and hopefully vice versus if he might be so inclined; however, I want our first time together to be most memorable. I want him to fuck me with great care and passion. I want to feel that bulbous head of his gorgeous cock rub against my prostate, making me orgasm with explosive force shooting streams of cum from my penis like water from a high-pressure firehose. I wanted us to fuck each other to the point of total exhaustion. 

I want him to ravish my body taking my cherry, and then I want him to fuck me again, and again, and again.  

Whether we are ever together for another session of sex, I want that first time to be the most unforgettable experience of my life.  My readings and video viewings regarding man-on-man sex bring to light certain recurring fears I’ve been experiencing regarding any type sex, disease primarily. 

Oh, I’m sure Ryder is free of any type contagious diseases; however, I had to be sure. He appears far too athletic and healthy to be infected with any type contagious STD or other diseases. Maybe I could somehow engage him in some subtle conversation over a few drinks. You know, a little liquor ormaybe a smidge of ganja might loosen his lips, letting his lust for me flow. 

We hadn’t engaged in any deep philosophical sexual conversations thus far in our friendship as roommates. Since discovering his little sex tool kit in the bathroom I’d left clever little indirect hints of interest in him sexually, but apparently he’d not taken the bait. I’d keep trying. 

During my free time, if one has free time in college, late at night, I’ve been doing research, from an academic viewpoint, regarding male-on-male sex. Of course, I bookmark certain of these sites in the event I need to return to them later for further clarification or to educate a certain person.  Some of the videos left me withfeelings of fear, anxiety, depression, and inadequacy. 

Unanswered questions remain about certain sexual acts and behavior, especially anal sex. The big question, was my cock big enough to satisfy Ryder?  Another question that piques my curiosity, is there such thing as anal orgasm? 

I’ve read much on the subject with differing opinions from authors. It appears that for two men to achieve anal orgasm it’s a team effort. A combination of expert cocksmanship by the top and power-bottom technique: two people who know what they’re doing to bring about an explosive anal orgasm or prostate climax. For some strange reason I want to be the power-bottom of our team. 

Other questions keep popping up in my head as I continue reading and viewing guys getting fucked in the ass.  Why do some guys seem to exhibit contorted facial pain while getting drilled in the ass, while others appear to enjoy the affair? Another, why do some guys maintain an erection and others can’t while getting fucked. 

One short article I came across on the Internet, not necessarily an academic one, titled What It Feels Like To Get F***ed InThe Ass caught my attention.  According to author Ryan O’Connell, “Getting your ass penetrated should be a prerequisite for life because it’s an experience that teaches humility and encourages teamwork.”  

Teamwork is essential to many academic and life challenges and endeavors. If I intend to overcome my fears conquering Ryder’s splendid body and awesome ass we’d have to pursue that goal together. 

I printed O’Connell’s article out and left it in open view in theprinter tray, hoping for some type reaction about the story. Thus far the printout remained undisturbed in the tray. No feedback, not even a dispassionate look from my sexy roommate.

According to O’Connell, he believes that anal sex is becoming more acceptable by both gay and straight community and kind of the  biggest deal ever. He goes on to say that as far as he’s concerned a guy doesn’t give his ass over to some strange pickup in a bar looking for a one-night stand. I feel the same. 

O’Connell says that when a guy penetrates your ass it’s going to feel strange at first and hurt, because anal sex always feels strange. The more I thought about anal sex the more I wanted to experience this phenomenon the author writes about.  From what I’ve read many authors say that anal is the new oral sex. Anal sex is no longer considered taboo and should not be painful if performed in a proper manner. 

After serious reading on the subject many authors stated that using a small dildo might be the best introduction to anal sex.  I thought the time might be right to enjoy the sensation of a cock filling my ass; if not Ryder’s, maybe an artificial cock. Therefore, I decided a dildo needed to be my first step towards experiencing anal sex as well as preparing my ass for Ryder’s larger than average member with its large cockhead.  

Although I’d not seen my roommate fully erect from what I’d seen I knew his cock would be big boned up. I began searching the Internet for articles or videos about dildos. I discovered many articles and videos regarding dildos, strapons and other anal sex toys as well as step by step instruction guides about how to prepare the anus and use dildos for simulated anal intercourse. 

Wow! Some of the dildos I viewed were massive motherfuckers—fucking destructive appearing monsters. 

Photos and videos of some of those assholes looked tore the fuck up after getting ravaged by huge dildos, fists or other large objects. They looked like leftover red raw meat from a Rocky fight scene. For me, I’d always thought sex is supposed to be a pleasant experience. What I saw looked fucking painful to me.  

With each day that passed I continue reading more articles and viewing more videos regarding MSM sex such as butt play; everything from analingus, anal toys, prostate massage,fist-fucking or fisting, to the actual act of anal intercourse, which in the end might produce an anal orgasm. 

Although having my asshole tongue fucked titillated me, my inner-self was a bit confused. I considered analingus or ass licking a little on the gross side for me, and fisting appears fucking painful, something I had no desire to pursue. 

I kind of recoil at the idea of a person sticking their tongue up another’s ass: a repulsive idea because that’s the bodily orifice where fecal matter comes out. But from my readings analingus can be quite enjoyable if prepared and done properly.  

Another thing I viewed on videos that disgusted me: guys pulling their penis out of their partner’s ass and then have the partner suck his cock without cleaning it. Surely cocks are cleaned between takes. This is part of the editing process in film making. 

Ryder’s pristine body, especiallyhis blemish free hairless butt, intrigued and invited me when it comes to assplay. If I were ever to engage in analingus it would be with Ryder; however, that would be after a thorough cleansing inside and out. His creamy smooth buns tease and invite me every time I see his naked body. On numerous occasions when Ryder bends over, exposing his cute wrinkled little asshole, there’s nary a hair in sight. I must admit the more research I do on ass play and anal intercourse the more dreams and fantasizes fill my head. Finally, I decided to get online to find me a dildo.  

After searching many adult toy sites, I settled on Amazon. Before I left for college my folks gave me my own personal Amazon Prime store card. Armed with my credit card I began searching, reading all the reviews. There were two dildos advertised with great reviews: NaughtyCocks. Two flesh color silicone suction cup models; one measuring 6.7-inches by 4.6-inches, while the larger model measured 8-inches by 5-inches girth. I settled on the first one. I considered it to be the ideal beginner size dildo for my virgin ass.   I added the 6.7-inch Naughty Cock along with suggested eight-ounce bottle of lubricant, cleanser and douche bulb to my cart, but before I proceeded to checkout I decided to add the bigger one too. 

The note said that items ordered under Prime delivery should be shipped by way of discreet packaging and arrive free shipping in two-days. My first online purchase using my new Amazon credit card went off without a fucking hitch.  

Within a couple days a nondescript package arrived in the mailroom for me. Inside, two black boxes with clear plastic windows displaying NaughtyCocks I’d ordered. Looking at the smaller flesh colored dildo through the window it looked almost real: about the size of my hard cock. I unboxed it and began examining it and comparing it to my cock.  

The reviews said to wash it thoroughly to get rid of any smell. I used the cleanser enclosed with the shipment washing it and then patting it dry. Again, inspecting my new toy I began trying to decide how, where and when I would use it to penetrate my virgin ass. I left the larger model boxed up thinking It might make a nice Christmas gift for someone special. 

With Ryder gone to study group that afternoon I undressed. Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom I could see the reflection of my naked body with rock-hard cock jutting upwards, just thinking about the dildo in my hand. I positioned the dildo next to my hard cock to see how the two compared. They were about the same dimensions, damn near twins. It was exhilarating fondling the new toy, reminded me of years back as a kid when a group of us during summer break before seventh grade fondled each other peckers the first time. 

As we progressed through puberty we compared and touched each other’s cocks many times. That first time comparing and touching, I sensed a fondness for the male body and genitaila, producing feelings and goose bumps like I’d never experienced. I liked girls developing bodies, but something about certain male bodies attracted me to them more so than girls. We boys compared and touched cocks on a regular basis. 

Many of the boys however discontinued our play moving onto girls for sexual gratification. Something exhilarating happened to me whenever another guy touched my penis; however, it would be a couple years later before I discovered what that feeling really meant. 

My neighbor, who I played little league baseball, and I discovered that our nipples were sensitive to touch, so sensitive that in high school we played with each other’s hard nipples to the point of getting each other off without jacking off. 

After a few sessions of flicking and tweaking our nipples with our fingers and thumbs we pushed the envelope further by biting and sucking on each other’s hard nipples. We writhed aroundon the bed in a wild uncontrollable manner while making low guttural sounds of pleasure, which culminated with powerful orgasms. I missed those days, but hopefully my new toy might bring back some of the enjoyment from years past. 

With the new dildo washed I stuck it to the mirror by way of the suction cup end at eye level where I began practicing licking the head and sucking on it, trying to develop a combination of techniques I’d learned from the videos. After a few minutes licking and sucking on the dildo, fantasizing it belonged to Ryder, I found myself nearing orgasm as I continued jacking off. I couldn’t stop sucking or jacking off and soon exploded sending ropes of spooge all over the backsplash, sink and mixer. 

Okay, I’ve become obsessed with my college roommate’s body and attributes. With the cummy mess cleaned up in the bathroom and my new sex toy tucked away I sat down at my computer to research more about male-on-male sex by way of Tumblr websites and others.  

Although Ryder’s bold nakedness, manliness and the sweet aroma of his body when he’s around me takes a toll on my psyche nothing physical has transpired between us yet. I daydream about Ryder every day and dream about him at night. I imagine us engaging in magical sexual situations producing explosive orgasms. However, before that happens I need to discover who Ryder is, and his sexual orientation for sure.