Dear Santa

Eric’s Journal

I knew that I shouldn’t have kept that letter.

I had volunteered to send postcards back to children who had written to Santa. During my three hour shift, I opened letters, read them, then wrote a sentence on the back of a postcard, usually something like, “I got your letter and am trying to decide which gift is best for you. Santa.” But this letter was different.

Dear Santa,

I don’t know what to do. My daddy is so sad all the time. He had a fight with his best friend, and his best friend hit him. Then he had to change jobs when his office closed. I hear him crying sometimes when he thinks I’m asleep. I wrote my new address at the top; we had to move. This place isn’t as nice, but it’s ok. Please help him. It’s all I want for Christmas.

Love, Joshua

PS I’ve been praying to Jesus to help. Maybe you can talk to him and the two of you can figure it out. Thanks.

I fought back the tears and slipped the letter in my pocket. Most kids listed a bunch of toys; this child was reaching out for help. I kept filling out postcards until my time was over. I kept thinking about the letter. What could I do to help this poor kid?.

Jacob’s Journal

My counselor suggested that I start this journal and that I begin with a recall of the important events in my life. I told him I didn’t know what to write, and he said to think back to when I stopped being in control of my life or think about when I was first really unhappy. I’ve been staring at a blank page for over an hour.

I met Sandy when I was in 3rd grade, and she became my best friend from the start. She and I did almost everything together. We lived 2 streets apart. We didn’t date each other, and we didn’t date anyone else. I told her when I was sixteen that I didn’t understand what was happening to me when I couldn’t stop thinking about Eric Thompson. She told me that some guys were bisexual, and I was probably just experiencing my first crush. It was easier to believe that. I avoided guys.

We went to college together, and we started having sex in our sophomore year. Sex was fun. It felt good. I have to say that Sandy initiated it more than I did, but I never declined, and when we graduated college, we got married. I think our marriage was comfortable. I went to law school, and found myself attracted to a couple of the men in my class, but never to the point that I would want to leave Sandy.

When Joshua was born, it was honestly the happiest day of my life. Things were crazy busy. Sandy worked full-time. I was still in law school and watched Joshua while at work. He was a wonderful kid; he would help keep the house. Even at two, he would help clean and fold clothes. It was a crazy time.

Then that third year of law school, Sandy got pregnant again. We knew things would be difficult, but we were happy. Joshua was excited about having a brother or sister. It was totally unexpected that Sandy would have a stroke and die. It was more than a difficult time. My mother came and stayed with us until I graduated and passed the bar.

I got a decent job in a law firm, and Joshua and I moved to an apartment near my work. I met Roger at work. It was so exciting to be wanted. I felt things that I had never felt before. The romance and falling in love with Roger added meaning to my life, so when he asked me to move in with him, I told Joshua how I felt, and we moved in.

We were there for almost two months when we had a horrible day at work. Roger got angry about the dishwasher, and he hit me several times, knocking me down and breaking the dishwasher. He screamed for me to get out. My shoulder was dislocated, so I had a trip to the ER.

The next day, I was told by HR that my services were no longer required.

I was able to get a job as a law clerk and a place for Joshua and me to live. It's a piece of shit place, and I’ve had to start seeing a therapist as part of the domestic violence case that happened when the ER doctor reported the incident to the police.

As great as life had been; it was a shithole now.

Joshua is my saving grace.

Eric’s Journal

I’m officially a criminal. I went to the address of the kid named Joshua and staked out the place. I saw the man whom I think is his father and followed him to work. He works for an ambulance chaser. I’m not sure what he does there, but I have the number. I plan to call tomorrow; maybe I can find out.

After I saw the man, I thought maybe I could run into him “accidentally” and ask him out. He is one hot babe. I’m not sure what my plan is now. I want to figure something out to help Joshua, but the beautifully handsome face with the muscular-swimmer build keeps fogging my thoughts.

I called. “I’m looking for a man who has a son named Joshua. I was given this number. His name was on my paper, but I spilled water on it. Under the number is his son’s name.”

“May I ask your name, sir?” a rather snooty woman with an obvious New York accent demanded.

“Eric Thompson. It’s a personal matter.”

“Hold, please.”

There was a click. There was no hold music.

“Jacob Jones. How may I help you?”

“Jacob, I know this will sound strange, but I really need to talk to you. You don’t know me. Actually, now that I say this aloud, it sounds crazy.”

“Is it crazy?” asked Jacob. “I don’t do crazy.”

“Will you make an exception in this case? How about if I buy you lunch? Or, even better, how about dinner for you and Joshua.”

“You want to take me and my son to dinner? To what end?”

“Christmas. It has to do with Christmas.”

“Well, I’m intrigued. How about the pizza place on the corner of 31st and Zephyr? It’s my son’s favorite. I’m sure he’d get a kick out of it.”

“Tonight? Is six-thirty good?”

“That’s perfect. I’ll see you then.”

I hung up and closed my eyes. His image formed in my mind, and I imagined sitting across from him. I felt a stirring, and I realized that thinking about him was making me hard.

Jacob’s Journal

I’m not sure why, but I received a call from an Eric Thompson today at work, and he invited me and Joshua to dinner. We’re meeting him at Joshua’s favorite place.

I hurried home after work, and after the two of us took a shower, we dressed appropriately--matching Star Wars t-shirts and matching shorts--compliments of my mother. Joshua was extremely excited. It was infectious. We practically skipped to the restaurant. Well, Joshua skipped, and I took faster steps than usual. We got there just before six-thirty, and as we walked inside, a man seated near the door stood up.

He stepped toward me. Something in his face looked familiar. Fuck, I thought; those eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes with that arched brow and those long eyelashes. That strong chin; that cleft that I used to dream about kissing as my tongue drilled into it.

“Eric, it’s been a long time.”

His face had a confused look on it, then a look of recognition came across it. “High school, Jacob Jones, of course. But you married that girl; the one you were always with.”

“That’s right. May I present my son Joshua.”

Joshua put out his hand.

“Nice to meet you,” said Joshua.

“Nice to meet you, too. Let’s go order your favorite pizza.”

“Wow, can we?” Joshua looked up at me.

“Of course,” I smiled. He ran to the counter and ordered a hamburger pizza with extra mushrooms.

“What’s your favorite thing to drink with pizza?” asked Eric.

Joshua looked up at me.

I hugged his head against my thigh. “Sweetie, we can afford a drink.”

I looked over at Eric; my face felt warm.

Eric looked down, “Hey, bud, this is my treat. I asked you and your dad for dinner. You get what you want.”

“We’re splitting it,” I told him.

“I won’t argue, Jacob. I asked you.” He turned to the order clerk. “Three drinks to go with a super large.”

“So that’s a Super Large hamburger with extra mushroom and three drinks,” said the clerk. Eric handed him a card.

“I need to pay half, Eric,” I said into his ear.

“Please, Jacob, don’t fuck this up for me,” he turned and looked into my eyes. The clerk handed his card back. We sat down.”

“So you know my dad from when he was a kid?”

“That’s right,” said Eric.

“Why didn’t you tell him that when you called him today?”

“How do you know I called him today.”

“Cause he told me. Are you being silly?” Joshua giggled.

“I didn’t know he was the Jacob Jones I knew when we were kids.”

“Grown-ups are strange,” Joshua announced.

“You are right, little man.”

“I’ve got to go to the bathroom, but I want to go by myself. Can Eric wait outside?”

“Sure,” I told him. The two of them went to the restroom. I saw Joshua give him instructions before going inside. Eric glanced over at me. He was still so handsome; even after all years, he still made my heart skip a beat. Why was he here? He acted surprised to see me, but he was the one who called. What did he want? I realized that, despite the time, I still wanted him.

Eric’s Journal

I nearly shit a brick when I saw him. Up close he was even more attractive, and then when I realized I’d know him from high school. He was the guy I always wanted, the guy I wanted to date, the guy I wanted to kiss; he was the one I wanted to fuck and the guy whose dick I wanted in me. But he was always with that girl Sandy. I remember crying myself to sleep because the one guy I wanted was only interested in girls.

Now, he stood in front of me. I had his son’s letter in my pocket, the one that said his boyfriend had beat him up. The boy looked like a mix of Sandy and Jacob, there was no denying that. Plus, the kid was beyond adorable. He didn’t want to order a drink if his dad didn’t have enough money. It made me want to cry.

I had decided that he couldn’t be any more precious when he wanted me to guard the bathroom so he could go by himself. I wanted to grab him and smother him with kisses. He had my heart in an instant.

I looked over at his father. Jacob was looking at me. The feelings I had for him back in high school came rushing back. I wanted to tell him, but it wouldn’t have been appropriate in front of Joshua.

We small-talked while we ate the pizza. Joshua got me caught up on what had happened to him without any specific details. I told him about my lonely life after high school. I didn’t tell him what led me to him.

When we finished, Joshua wanted to walk back to their place holding my hand in his left and Jacob’s hand in his right. I left my car in the parking lot of the pizza place and went home with them. I have to say that it was the best night I’d had in forever.

Joshua wanted to show me where he slept. There were two twin beds in a small apartment bedroom. It was obvious that the place was rundown, but Joshua had done a good job keeping it clean.

Jacob told his son that it was bedtime, and he wanted me to read him a story. I agreed, but when I sat on the other bed, and we were alone in the room, he whispered to me.

“Do you like my dad?”

“Yeah, I do,” I told him.

“You’ll be nice to him?”

“Of course. I would never hurt him.” I knew what he was talking about.

“I’m going to stay in my room now, so if you want to hold hands, you can.” He smiled.

“You’re a sweet kid, you know that?”

“No, I’m not. I hate somebody. A lot.”

“You know what. Hating evil is OK. Ask God to help the person, but never stop hating the evil that people do.” I kissed him on the forehead and turned out the light as I closed the door.

Jacob walked up to me. “He wanted to talk to you, didn’t he?”

I turned to face him. “Yeah. He wanted me to know that he would stay in his room, so I can hold your hand.”

“He’s such a great kid.” Jacob looked at me.

“Oh, Jake, I want to do more than hold your hand, but I need to tell you why I called you, and about high school, and… I need you to know.”

He took my hand. “Then come over here and tell me.”

I told him about how I felt in high school, and he told me how he felt. When I said I regretted not saying anything to him, he told me not to. He said that had things not happened the way they had, he would not have Joshua, he would not know the joy that he brought into his life. He was right.

I told him that Joshua brought us together.

“How’s that?” he asked.

“Joshua wrote to Santa.”

“Yeah, I know. I mailed it for him.” Jacob got a puzzled look.

“Do you know what he asked for?”

“No,” Jacob looked at the floor. “Knowing him, he asked for a pencil.” Tears filled Jacob’s eyes. “You saw him tonight. He didn’t even want to order a soda because he worries that it will cost too much.”

Tears filled my eyes. “He asked Santa for help because you’re lonely. He wants Santa to talk to Jesus so you won't be sad anymore.”

I pulled the letter out and showed it to him.

“How’d you get it?”

“I volunteered to answer Santa letters. God put that letter in my stack. I don’t know if I’m the answer to Joshua’s prayers, but you're the answer to mine.” I lifted his chin up and kissed him.

“I hope you’re the answer to his prayers.” He kissed me back. I never knew that kissing could be so wonderful.

Jacob leaned back and pulled me onto him. I was between his legs as my tongue moved into and out of his mouth. I took his tongue into my mouth. I felt myself get hard, and I moved my crotch against his. I wanted to scream out how good it felt to be with him, but I knew I needed to be quiet. I moved down his body until he could sit up and remove his shirt. I spread kisses down his body. How I wanted him. I’d wanted him for years. I got off the couch and stripped down. I pulled Jacob’s pants and underwear off. He was semi-hard, and I began to suck him until his dick was hard and dripping precum.

“I need you to make love to me, Jacob. Put your dick in me. I pulled him into a seated position and lowered myself on him. The wetness of my saliva was not enough. I added more spit, and so did he. The head of his cock popped into my rectum. It’s what I had wanted since I was sixteen. Tears of happiness spilled onto my cheeks. I moved up and down his shaft. I stood up and turned to face him. It was difficult to sit on his rod while facing him, and he told me to lay on my back. He got between my knees and pushed them up. I grabbed my ankles, and he pushed himself deep inside me.

Jacob’s lips touched mine as he moved in and out of me. I heard his whisper to me. “Eric, I think I’ve always loved you.”

“I want you to come inside me, Jacob, please.” He began to kiss me again. I felt him speed up. I loved the way he filled me, the way his dick felt as it moved inside me, the way his lips felt as they caressed mine.

He grunted and I felt him come. I reached down and grabbed his ass. I pulled him tight to me. I didn’t want to lose a drop of what he had given me. As we lay there, I told him that I wanted to stay that way forever. I saw him smile.

“You know,” he told me, “I want to feel you inside me.”

“I want that, too.”

His dick slipped out of me, and we flipped around. His ass was so tight, but I finally got inside, and as I gently moved in and out, I told him my plans.

“I’m going to look for a new apartment tomorrow; I’m going to need your help. We’re going to need to get Joshua his own bedroom.” I felt his hands move up and massage my pecs. “And once we’re moved into the new place, if you’re not happy with your current job, I want you to have the time to find one that will make you happy.”

Jacob began to flex his hips to meet my thrusts, and I came inside him. He pulled me to him and kissed me. “Eric, will you always remember this moment?”

I wiggle next to him. My cock slipped out and cum squirted. “We need to shower,” I chuckled. “This is a new day for us. I will always remember it. I promise that from this day forward, only good things.” We showered: Jacob slept in his bed, I slept on the couch. In the morning, Joshua’s only comment is that he thought I was crazy not to sleep in the bedroom with them.

I told him that the bed just wasn’t big enough, so we were all going to a bigger place, a place where he could have his own bedroom, and we could get a big Christmas tree.

He looked up at me and said, “I don’t need a Christmas tree. God has already given me my Christmas present.” Then he wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed my cheek.