Dad's Ranch

This and a companion piece to this story are the last things we know he wrote that are not business or golf in nature. We cannot be sure if this is a final edit but in reading it, there weren't too many obvious errors, syntax difficulties etc. It's clear from this and the final episode in the trilogy he was very fond of this set of characters. 

We remain optimistic that he will rouse and, to date, the diagnosis, 'profound' has not been applied.

Dad’s Ranch: Four Years Later

Winter. If you live in the middle of Wyoming, you gotta expect it, know it’s a fact and that’s that. Raised with it, loved it maybe better ‘n summer any others. Get out, ride, see what there was that only cold showed. Me and Barney, my horse, hell, we’d take out, maybe be gone, two, three days. Make camp, damn if he wouldn’t lay down by my sleeping bag at night, tossed blankets over him, with the fire and what was left of it, we kept good ‘n warm. Layin’ there in the cold dark, took out my field glasses just look up and see what passed over. Coupla a times, saw the space station go over….when I got back, found a way to write the guys up there, told them when they was passin’ over Wyoming, a cowboy was wishin’ he was up there lookin’ down. Damned if I didn’t get an answer.

That day I was just coming in through the back. Guess some people have a mud room/laundry/cloak area, well, that wouldn’t do it for us, we had a big ol’ room just to get outta what you wore in, benches along the side where you could sit, pull your boots off, sometimes just collapse a bit. Got us a big shower-if we’d all been out, it fit the three of us, try and get yer body temperature up, then slip into some waffle tops and bottoms-big stack of tops an bottoms,  good heavy wool socks, let your boots be upside down on the posts for that purpose, give your hat  a real good brushing….by then Dad and Jake knowed I’m home so theys waitin’ to have a drink until I get cleaned up and come on in.

“Damn, boy I do not know what in tarnation you and that horse do out there, middle a winter or din’t ya notice?” Then added, “Jesus son, good thing this is just family or you’d a have to wear a jock under them long johns, that piece a stud meat is almost to yer knee...and them balls….” Said it every time then gave me a hug, a kiss told me to get over by the fire, handed me a glass with what he called a ‘Wyoming’ Special. ‘Nother words, straight Bourbon, no ice-easiest drink in the world to make.

Jake was next. Pulled out my cock, checked it, put it back in, “Well, praise the Lord, least we don’t haveta thaw the bull meat. C’mere boy….” Nother hug and kiss.

Sometimes I tried to remember the day Dad and Jake finally let me in on their ‘private’ life as men who loved each other. Good thing, I loved ‘em too, my Dad most of all. That first night, got myself righteously fucked, no virgins on our spread, then slept with ‘em….at least for a while. Even  back then, turned out I wasn’t quite full growed, we was all over 6’3 an sleeping in a bed usual meant to hold two, well, just didn’t work. First time Dad rolled over and ended up on the floor, back to my own room….I knew, okay to drop by so we could all fuck or however we felt like pleasuring ourselves, but I had my own bed-Jake said if I wanted company, get that damn horse of mine, we pret’ near slept together anyways. An he was partly right, if I wanted to think on something I’d go out to the barn, take a sleeping bag or just some pillows and a blanket an lay down in Barney’s stall. Gettin’ your cock licked by a horse is a real interesting experience. Can’t prove it but….I plumb think he liked it when I’d shoot my wad, licked that up too, sorta like a milky salt lick….Guess it’s real true, a man’s best buddy is his horse, least ways if it’s a stallion like Barney. Every cowboy knows this, you kin tell a horse any old thing and theys never gonna pass it on….somethin’ most people cain’t say. Truth is, we’re a odd bunch on Dad’s Ranch, all our men are stallions-usually, one guy with balls per ranch, like one horse with balls per ranch, is the norm. Dad said it pained him mightily to cut the nuts off anything male….Fuck, even my granddad was an old stallion….one with a star on his chest; He’s the sheriff of the next county so at times, we was all his deputies-particularly doing rodeo season. Sometimes we’d go as far as Cheyenne. Great good times, could get a little rough, guess that’s why cowboys made the best deputies, we knew what was just men funnin’ with each other and what needed to be shut down NOW and Fast.   

Pop, my granddad, turned out to knowed about Dad and Jake…..he never quite said but I kinda figgered out, maybe for a long time, maybe before Dad married….Dad told him about takin’ me into their lives…..guess that didn’t make him too happy. Hell, he didn’t care who I fucked but that it got hid from me for so long….Just didn’t sit right with him. There was a fix for that, least ways in his mind, and he did it.

The way Pop saw it, Dad and Jake had each other an rightly or sorta wrongly treated me like their kid, sure, one that could fuck like a animal, bigger n they was but still sorta their own kid, even if the three were fuckin and suckin an, well, all that.

He had it out with them once-I was out with Barney I don’t know what, but we wasn’t there for the hoorah Pop an them got into. Seems he felt I should have someone, maybe not full time, but din’t rightly seem fair to him for me to be down the hall, sorta dessert when they got all screwed out an got tired. Twern’t fair to me. Now, sure, truth was I could get up and go down that self same hall myself and have my own rodeo with one or both a them but….an I knew it as time went on….it was kinda like letting your kid do something extra, give ‘em a treat. Way Pop put it, what hung outa my drawers wasn’t no midway snack food, fuck, it was the whole carnival n, he knew, I could take it up the ass cuz, well, that’s what he did with me.

Round then, maybe bein 20, 21 I spent more time with Pop, be him who said, fuck trying to duck my nickname, “Bull”, I more’n lived up to it. Everybody knowed what was in my pants was waaay beyond the real deal, fuck, let ‘em call me Bull. Meant it to; When he made me his chief deputy, the name tag said “Bull Jensen”. Not the J.K. we’d tried but….hell, a feller gets called one thing for nigh on to 20 years and, well, that’s his name. Pop also had a pair of uniform pants special made for me; Said in those, didn’t need to pull a gun just run a finger down my zipper, scare the crap outa any man with sense. Oh, and to back all that, he made me work out a lot. At 24, big cock, big arms, big chest, 235 pounds of hard worked meat…..had to have the arm holes in T shirts opened or just rip ‘em off. Pop would make me strip, put me in cuffs, take me back to a cell, get all the irons on me so’s I wasn’t goin nowhere then fuck the livin’ hell out a me. Never told Dad or Jake but Pop….well…..he was a bunch better than they was. An, I guess this mattered a lot, he loved me like they dint. Take all the iron off, then roll in beside me, hold me, kiss me, put my head on his shoulder, once told me somethin…..maybe I shoulda guessed it….he thought he was my real Pa.

We was out in the county truck, the one with a cage-someone told him some drunk was weaving through a pasture so we was just waiting for him to come on down the road….if he made it that far-when Pop turned to me, real serious, said, “Bull, I got somethin’ on my heart, gotta tell you.”

I dint say nothing cuz I could tell….it was real serious-Pop was a serious man, for him to say it was serious, well, gotta be.

“Way back  a fore they’s married, well, I did somethin’ I’m ashamed of, Bull, they should have sent me to prison for it. See, I fucked yer Mom...weren’t no rape, she came on to me, out in the barn, crawled up on my lap and, well, you know what happens when you get rubbed down there…..”

Had to smile guess, yep, I certainly did know what happened….part a why I’m called ‘Bull’ is when I even get rubbed against the bar at Buffalo Bills, well, almost drill a dick sized knot hole in his woodwork; Always did get too excited too easy….

“Son, I don’t know, shouldn’t a happened but, well, she hauled my pecker out, said her Daddy showed her how-that riled me up, probably why I let it happen-gave it a lick an’, well, never got that hard that fast ‘n she just smiled, pulled down her panties and hopped up, facing me, put my hands on her titties and started to ride the range. Fuck, I musta come in..I don’t know, two minutes?”

He bent his head, his hat almost pulled off on the steering wheel. “Bull, I shoulda been taken out an’ had my nuts nailed to a fence, woulda served me right but….shit, she was a full grown woman, so it seemed an about then….”

I could see him look off into the past, gonna tell me somethin’….worse...we did it more ‘n one time so when she said she was gonna have a kid….I counted back, knew it had to be me, just had to be.

He spoke real low. “Bout then I found out about yer Dad an’ Jake. Fuck, nothin’ I could say, look what I just did….” We sat there while he just kept on lookin’ down, worry on his brow, couldn’t look at me….He twisted, had to say it, dint matter to me…..

“Son, I got no reason to think I ain’t yer real father.”

I scooted over, held him in my arms, tried to get his head on my shoulder...but with two big men, ain’t a easy thing to do.

“Bull I shoulda shot myself, maybe shot your Dad and Jake, iffen I had, well, this whole mess….”

That’s when I knew somethin’. “Pop, they ain’t no mess, just the one in your mind….look around, nobody’s unhappy, specially me. Sure, when Mom died, an we all know she was my mother, who gives a fuck who my Pa was, that was real bad, Dad loved her, you loved her, hell, maybe even Jake loved her-maybe all a you fucked her…. but...I’d be proud to know I came from your gizz, just like Sam, standing at stud;  you stood at stud an you got me. Mom loved me, didn’t care who knocked her up, she loved having a son, Dad loved having a son an….now….you can love having a son, one that’s yours, got your sperm in him. Real good, ain’t it, all them sons in one person.” I looked at him and smiled. “See, now when you call me Son, means somethin’ to both of us. When you fuck me, it’ll be like my Dad and my Granddad are in me, got both their man cream. When I suck you or them, well, just tastes that much better knowin’ it kinda all came from the same place.” Just patted his nuts and smiled.

He looked up, big smile, reached down, so’d I, for our zippers….but, dammit, right then a truck came moseyin’ down the road, workin’ both sides. Some dumb drunk an’ we had to catch him. Pop let me use his special way; Just lean against the truck an’ when whoever went by, just shoot out a coupla tires, stopped ‘em within ten yards. Easy collar, they’s already bagged, all we did was prevent some accident.

Driving back to his office, he reached over an said, “I’ll get this fool locked up an then you…..”

I smiled back. “Don’t even want grease, I’ll be in that cell without a gate….”

Gotta say, emotion gets it up in Pop, he damn near took out my man pleasure spot an’ went out front until his cock came through mine…..he squeezed off a full shot from me with only two fingers…..Gotta be older and experienced to learn to do that.

This one thing he made me do, I’m tied up, Pop squeezing my balls to get me to squirt, only man ever did it to me and that was our personal way a sayin’, I’m your Dad, I can get you to give me back what I put out to git you….Often I’d lay on his bed, hands tied behind me while he first ate ‘em then took his hand, kept lookin’ in my eyes, tighter, I’d squirm, “Bull, you’re my stallion, my stud, this here is your standing at stud, got you tied down so gotta take whatever an’ this is gonna take a while, watch your face squinch cuz I know it hurts, more when I stick my prong up your ass, good hard fuck. Yer just doing for your Dad what he wants, givin’ him his pleasure like a good son n’ ain’t one better. Ever son suffers for his Pa….I just make sure I seen you do it….”

His hand got tighter, could feel him crush my big man balls, waiting, wouldn’t turn loose until I shot n’ he could scoop it up, both of us drink it. Jeeez he loved me, after that, and he finished fucking me, got warm towels and wrapped my bag, gently massaged male part just behind, get my prostate to make me feel good….then, when he couldn’t resist, take off the towels, bend down and eat my balls, his tongue putting only a slight pressure…..God how that man loved me and loved to screw me….bout as much as I like to do him….and that was presenting a bit of a problem.

I’d been real involved with being Pop’s deputy which meant I was in Lander more than back at Dad’s ranch. No one minded...for a time but Dad finally asked if I was gonna stick around or…..?

He wasn’t trying to toss me out, just figure out where was what and who was sleeping in which bed. Face it, he and Jake both liked to wander down the hall and pay me a visit and, truth, great sport hopping in with them, good old man on man on man three way…

“Ya know, Pop lives alone, has now, well, you know. I like working with him, we make a good team….so unless it’d piss you off….”

“Son, nothin’ you could do would bother me….I say move over there, Dad needs company….’til he got real busy he was here a lot but now…..Don’t see there’s much else to do cept hitch up the horse trailer...I guess where you go, Barney goes.” He smiled. So did I. That’s when we really hard hugged each other, maybe too hard, getting the horse trailer ready was gonna have to wait until….sorry Jake wasn’t around, we had a real good time.

While later we was layin on his bed, he was licking my bull cock, said, “Shame you can’t leave this behind….” then laughed. “Guess I’ll have to come see Dad more often. Old fool. Jeez, I love that man.”

I smiled, maybe for other reasons, “Guess you know he loves you a bunch. Always love your son, always.” It was kinda weird to think that I was sorta my Dad’s real half brother, just different mothers. Didn’t matter, he raised me, loved me, I was his son in all ways cept one and who sired me, well, fuck, that just didn’t matter none at all.

Jake came in just as I was backing Barney into the trailer, looked kinda odd.

“What’s goin on?” Seemed a fair question.

Dad just smiled, explained I was getting real involve at being Deputy Sheriff and was moving over to Pop’s. Jake tried to smile but….didn’t quite come up.

“Well, now, Bull, guess you got a hard on for that uniform. Fun chasin’ bad guys, wearin’ a gun, having your Granddad…..”

Wondered why he stopped. Wondered why he came to me, gave me a hug and, in my ear, whispered, “Bull, I know who yer Pa is….havin’ his real son by him, well, that’ll make him so damn happy like he deserves to be...he’s waited a long time to have his kid, damn, probly would a waited forever, never sayin’ nothin’ so now, fuck, it’s all good.”

Pulled away, Slapped me on my butt, told me to pick up my saddle and head on out, it was late and Lander was a fair piece to drive in weather we could all see was fixin’ to fall in on us.

“Got warm gear just in case? Stupid fool, you’d try and get that horse in the truck if it got too snowy...”

“Hell, wrong way, best thing, get back in the trailer, Barney’s a furnace, got blankets….”

Don’t know, suddenly we was all just standin’ there, not quite willing to let me go and me not quite ready to leave….Dad broke it. Slapped me on the ass, said, “Git,” then turned, he and Jake walked off to the house leaving me alone with the truck and Barney ready to roll. Stupid fool, got some tears stuck in my lashes.

They was right; Half way to Lander the weather broke and I started looking for a place to pull in. Good thing I knew most of the ranchers along the way so weren’t no problem to turn in, knock on the door and  be told to take Barney on around to the barn then come on back, bout time for supper. That night it was Eben Stoddard, widower, ran a small spread but covered with oil wells so whether the crops came in or even came up, well, dint matter shit or shinola to him.

I dropped my duffel in his mud room, slipped out of my cold outers, down to my long johns then headed on in. Eben had a drink to hand me, got us right to  the table where supper was one of them all time guys’ favorite, biscuits and sausage gravy, lots a both. No better meal on a cold night, specially with a good swallow or two of first class Bourbon. Sat eating till there just wasn’t none left….cain’t say the same about the liquor.

I’d gone to school with Eben’s son, nice kid, then, run off, joined the Service, got himself kilt in the sand box. On the wall, specially lit, was a place with a Purple Heart. I did my respects and lifted my glass to Steve, Eben’s son….

“Thanks, Bull, preciate it. You’s one of the good ‘uns around here, yes you most certainly are. Gotta say, bit taken back yer movin’ to Lander...live with that old man….best Sheriff we ever had, just worry, well, you know.” And I did.

I looked at Eben, nodded, said, “Well, that’s part a why I’m movin’ there. You know I got his back, best old man I ever did know and I mean no disrespect callin’ him that.”

“Know that son, know it.” He stopped and looked at the ribbon on the wall. Nothing to do, just sit there, lower my head, wait for him to come back to us. Finally, it got to be too long, dint want him to get lost in the past so I up and started picking up dishes; That broke it, he snapped his head around….

“Hey, Bull, yer a guest, no need to do that...”

He fired up the TV, found a game so we sat around, sippin’ listenin’ to the wind, looked out to see if the snow got up to the window ledge.

“Guess you’ll need to stay a day...glad to have the company...fuck, shoulda moved outa here when the oil hit but, well, hell, you know, always glad to have company…..” And I did, too. Called back and forth so everyone knew where I was, calmed them. Pop was gettin’ jerky, guess it was worse in Lander than out here, told me to stay where I was until it was good and safe, he’d call and let me know when I could move. Stupid old fool, guess he forgot I was a man, 24, could figger out a few things myself….guess that’s why I love him, only yer Pa cares enough to tell you what to do when, most days, you spend telling other folks what to do….

You get enough hootch into a guy an’ well, hell, they says things other wise they wouldn’t. That’s what happened.

Eben was relaxed back in his recliner, piss poor game, we was not sayin’ much when from nowhere…

“Hey, Bull, I gotta be half drunk to ask but….I know yer name, why you got it but…...never seen the evidence. Guess, it’d be too much to ask if, mebbe….”

“Naw, not at all.” I shoved down my long johns, grabbed my buddy, just hangin’ there, cojones too, showed him.

“Kee-rist, no wonder you never got hitched, a woman seeing that would run down the aisle….” and laughed. So did I. Kinda. See, my cock had been some trouble for me an, I don’t know, here, Eben makin’ cracks about it, I shot my mouth when I shouldn’t have.

“Not every man gets married an I’m one of ‘em.”

He was really ashamed. “Sorry Bull, I was way out of line even askin’”.

I settled. “Naw, sorry I jumped before I was shot. Why the fuck shouldn’t you see, hell, half the county has…”

He looked real quiet.

“Eben, yer a good friend, takin’ me in tonight, we’s neighbors and friends so what of mine you want, you get. No harm.”

I could see him thinkin’ on what I just said, there was something….the way he worked his tongue in his mouth, couldn’t quite look at me...but there was something and, so help me hannah, I could not figger out what to do, to say...just sat there, fiddling with ‘Big Bull’, bein careful not to start something I’d need to clean up….embarrass Eben.

“Uh, Bull…….”

“Uhm?”

“Uh, Bull, kin I like, maybe, you know...touch it?”

I almost, as a joke, as I mighta done at home, asked him if he’d washed his hands first but stopped short… “You wanta, hey, it’s right there…..”

My lord in heaven, he was like a more nervous rabbit who just seen a rattler….his hand was lost between him and my cock, like the airport people hadn’t quite told him to land but stick around, might could do somethin’ for him real soon.

“Eben!!! For the love of God, do something….cain’t hurt me none, you ain’t got no idea how many times I’s slammed it just to get my own rocks so...take your hand and put it right there.” Felt like I was doin’ that dumb song about, “Put yer little foot, put yer little foot, put yer little foot right there...” Only in reality, I took his paw and dropped in on Big Bull saying, “Squeeze it. Hard.”

Guess I overdid a bit….his jaw followed his hand, damn near snapped the little bit a flap I got off….

“Fuck, Bull, I, I always wanted to get sucked so if I try an do you…..? You ever done anything like that…? Huh?”

Well, yeah, I surely did do ‘anything like that’ but this wasn’t the moment to give him the full menu as to what the Bull Brothers could and would do….most of which he’d probably never heard of, would be shocked, but cock sucking? Surprised me he ain’t never done anything like that. Fuck, I could hardly remember when…..back when Dad told me to face it, no cowboy out on the range for days or more didn’t do something….whether it was just jerkin’ off  or get bulled or….whatever, but it happened. Only reason it never happened to me was that Dad and Jake was always there, even when I grew Bull and some of the guys, well, they sorta laughed but after that….saw one of them say something to Dad...and it had nothin’ to do with moving the herd. No….thing….at… all. He came back, winked at Jake but told me that I’d sleep that night between him an Jake, get my bedroll set that way. Then I wasn’t sure, well, a course, now….fuck……

Pop and I talked about it. He said, every good cow man got himself poked an every good cow man, fucked a cow….it just happened. He was right. Course, gotta tell the truth, I never stuck it to a cow….Jake said, ‘hell, it’d confuse them, whether it’d be you or Sam…..an if they liked you better well….Sam could come close to being steak cuz once he couldn’t stand at stud….nobody ever kept a bull as a pet….slice off his big prairie oysters -good eatin’-and off to the slaughter house passin’ the new bull as he went out the gate. Lookin’ down, I coulda laughed or shuddered…..couldn’t see myself havin’ my balls served up an’ as to the slaughter house…..Hell, I knew I was a big muscled dude-Pop and I worked to make me that, a strong deputy is about all a Sheriff needs, well, that an bein’ a good shot- probably well marbled meat iffen I got cut up….some part of that got me hard, still does truth to tell. Which got me back to Eben.

He was still holding on, rolling it a bit one way then the other….and a course, dint take too long for it to harden up, the head come out n little bit a precum seeped out the cock eye...just happens with me. Course, Eben didn’t know it but he was on danger money. Sure, I can take care of myself, every man can but…..he was actin’  like there was something….Only way, play bad cop….

“Eben, now, tell me, what do you want to do? I can and will do about anything but what I won’t do is….guess what you want. Buddy, we got all night, probly most of tomorrow so you turn loose a Bull before you have to lick your fist clean and tell me now what it is you want to do.”

“Uh, Bull, uh, well, this is gonna sound weird...”

“Probly not, you ain’t got no idea what I heard-some guys when we pick ‘em up, hoooooly Sheeeit, the tales...Jesus Mother Mary and Joseph, all true; One ass hole wanted some thrills so tried to use barbed wire to jack off...”

Eben looked at me, blinked, not quite believin’…..but then he did, just shook his head.

“Well, sometimes I think about when I was over by your place an we was watchin’ your bull stand at stud.” He had started to blush. “Always wondered what it’d be like to be, you know, made to be fucked like a cow, pushed in, made to take it…...”

I smiled a bit. “You want the real full time when we bring ‘em in to turn ‘em to steers? Get ‘em branded, nutted…..fucked. That be what’s on your mind?”

He was too ashamed or embarrassed to even look up or answer but it was plain, nodded his head, yeup, that’s what he wanted. Coupla things, I gotta assume he’s a virgin also….wondered how far he really wanted to go cuz…..I could go a lot farther than maybe he had in mind…..I hadn’t showed him the brand on my ass…..bet that’d turn him on. But maybe….not. If he even knowed the word ‘kink’ probly had to do with some wire or cord that was wound up wrong not the sorta sex kink he was puttin’ his foot and his ass into.

“Uh, yeah, somethin’ like that….Think you could may be…..?”

“Buddy, I can do every bit of that right up to makin’ sure you ain’t no virgin, brand you and…..steer you. Have us a two prairie oyster feed, you give up the oysters….want to be nutted? That turn you on?”

I was hoping it wouldn’t.

He had to push down his drawers, too late, there was enough cream in his crotch to go back and make another load of gravy.

“Yeah, well, that’ll just make it better now that you ain’t blue balled. Get you real worked over. Eben, Big Bull an’ I are gonna stand at stud and yer what’s being put under me to work over. Only thing now...where do you keep some rope?”

“Rope?”

“Hell yeah, yer now mine, gotta get you hog tied and ready to be processed….strip. May have to restrain you, boy, this piece a meat don’t slide in like a popsicle and for what you want….fuck, just get some rope...don’t suppose you have a bridle with a snaffle bit in here?”

He was a little crazed by that, just nodded his head, uh uh. Figures. Oh well, I knew how to make one with rope.

One thing Eben dint know, yet, once I got started….no way he could yell or scream for me to stop….cuz the way I was feelin’, the idea of being Sam, standing at stud…..just rightly turned my fire up….I was juiced by the whole idea….hope Eben really wanted what he said he did….

Somehow I looked up and saw that Purple Heart an’ knew something. When Eben came back, pushed him in his chair, got behind him, covered his eyes and told him to think about…..Steve, his son…..I could feel his tears pass between my fingers. Lord, forgive me but….

“Hey, Dad, Dad? didn’t think I’d a fergit you, hadda come back least ways for a little….”

“Steve? Son?”

“Yeah, nobody but me….iffen you want me to be, I’m Steve, yer son….”

He was bawlin’ so hard all he could do was nod.

“Last thing I was thinkin’ on was my Dad….what a helluva motherfuckin’ father he’d been to me...last thought….you and me kickin’ shit in the corral, you put yer arms around me…..”

Eben surprised me. I guess when you’ve spent you’re life wrestling cattle, pullin’ one man around til he’s in your lap weren’t no trick, just took me by surprise…..but there I was. Keerist, a Octopus couldn’t a held me tighter. Finally wriggle out a bit, put my arms around him….

“Son, you cain’t be sittin’ around in your drawers, go on back, in your room, still got your bag, put on some clothes,  be warmer. I’ll get us a drink while you get dressed…..”

Could not believe how desperate for his son...but...I could do it. On a bed with no sheets or blankets there was a green Army duffel bag with ‘Stoddard’ stenciled on the side. I guessed the service sent it back to him...no other way he’d a got it. Dumped it out, found all that would sorta make me Steve. Green T shirt with ‘Stoddard’ on it, his dog tags, camo pants, some worn boots….good thing I had a crew cut myself. Never tied on trooper boots, took a minute but finally…..then back to the front room.

When I came back it was….just as if Steve had stepped out to use the can an now, he and his Dad were gonna have a drink, sit around...just be father and son…..just one thing, the son weren’t gonna be the one he wanted jist was playin’ and maybe prayin’ I was Steve or something like him. In his army gear, hell, I looked like a lotta young soldiers….but, just for now, I was his Steve….and he was happy. He was also hitting the bottle real heavy so’s the picture he wanted seemed real….young man, dressed like a soldier, callin’ him Dad…..I was Steve…..least ways for just a little longer.

We needed some ‘normal’ conversation...so started with...me.

“Hey you seen Bull or any of them Jensen men? He’s a good buddy a mine….they’s good people.”

Somewhere a memory…. “Ya know...Bull came by...weren’t too long ago, snowing, needed to spend the night...fine young man, wonder why he never went into the Service? He’s stronger than a bull an’ you remember how he got his name….”

Well, that wasn’t a topic….

“Didn’t look out, oil still pumpin’?”

“Yeah, theys good wells they tell me, after I pass, you’ll never have to worry...” and took a good pull.

Had an idea, sat in his lap. Put one arm around his neck, pulled him too me, kissed him…..pulled back, looked in his eyes….and about then, they closed.

Okay, just in time, don’t know how much longer I coulda been ‘Steve’. Found a blanket, covered him, took the bottle, made sure he was comfortable then skedaddled back to strip out of ‘Steve’ and back to being Bull. A man drinks that much, your mind plays tricks but….I wanted him to have something or know….

Didn’t have to hold his head the next morning, just listened while he groaned his apologies, thought he’d done something….maybe….I cut in, told him he’d been a good host, great dinner, boring game… we all had a bit too many sips...and smiled at him.

Don’t look like the snow’s as bad as they said….better call Pop and get his permission to move cuz if I don’t...”

Eben smiled… “Yeah, if you don’t….big as you are, you ain’t too big to catch his paddle.” I smiled back at him, agreed.

Round noon, Pop called said to head on out, Bryce, one of the Highway Patrol guys, was comin’ by and would lead me on to Lander in a hour or so, just be ready. Looked at Eben. “Well, there’s my get outa jail card an come to the jail all in one. Told ya.” Eben smiled but I could tell it hurt his head. Like all good cowboys, I knew to hand him a warm long neck….he knew what to do. Wouldn’t cure him but...it’d help.

Bryce called, said he was about ten minutes out, mind if he came in? Use the facilities? Get warm? Course the answer was ‘Hell yes, get that red headed boy in here, warm up, get fed….’

“Eben…..gotta ask something of you an….I won’t be anywhere near annoyed iffen you say no but….while I was messin’ around in Steve’s room, I found these….” And held up his dog tags. “Ya know, it’d make me real proud to wear ‘em...if you…..”

He looked down, dint want me to see the tears that made plop marks in his coffee mug. “Yeah, Bull, here, I wanta put em on ya….yer one of the best men around….be a real privilege to know someone like you…..” He foundered cuz what he wanted to say, well, it didn’t need to be said, I knew.

He stood up, took the chain, unsnapped it, I leaned over a bit, he put it around my neck, closed it, stood back, saluted then came to me for a hug. I whispered in his ear…. “I’ll  have Pop get ‘em soldered so they’s permanent...he was always partial to Steve….’’ We just stood there, could hear Bryce arriving. One last thing, he took out the tags, kissed ‘em, looked in my eyes….almost like he saw Steve….almost.

On the road to Lander Bryce and I could talk back and forth on the police band….careful to keep it sounding like, more or less, police business, something like that. One thing we both knew, out here, lots a guys had shortwave and side band radios, filled time just listening to whatever they might hear. Lots a folks, not knowin’ who might just happen to find out more ‘n they should, got right shook up when what they thought was private was all over everywhere from Buffalo Bills to every cafe and drinking spot in town. Good/bad news travels fast and, usually, wrongly but, hell, that be half the fun.

Pop told Bryce he was stayin’ the night, tomorrow there was a weed grower they was gonna go get also, it looked like snow again, he knew our red headed buddy would either haveta find a motel or  bunk in with us….no thought needed. No point in all that, every highway patrol, Sheriffs from wherever, their deputies, FBI, all the legal guys knew to stay with the Sheriff, he expected ‘em to. Pop told him where to put his stuff, get comfortable, come out, have a drink, he’d see if he remembered how to cook.

I liked Bryce. Always seemed happy, help anybody but.. cross him or the law and you found that smile did come off an pretty quick. Big man, thick bodied and, if you liked red hair, well, he had the crop. Even with a T shirt, there was a ruff of red come out...and in the shower, well, someone once said mebbe it was Bryce an’ mebbe it was a Golden Retriever. Always wondered what it’d be like to fuck someone with that much soft red fur…but someone knew, Pop told me he and Billy Bryant, the coach who kissed my dick before a football game, were real good friends. Some said, after that famous game we lost an’ coach said we could all fuck him….Bryce stuck around to let the coach show him a new way to make a forward pass using his dick ….wouldn’t a ask him….but Pop seemed pretty certain so you know when a law man says ‘he thinks so’ what he really means is ‘he knows so’ but, to keep it legal, has to be speculation.

Later, after it turned out Pop could cook, we was all sittin’ around in our long Johns when Bryce noticed something, asked me about the tags...told him they was from Steve Stoddard….and stopped talking. Pop an I looked at him, could see it…..

That big man just stood there seeing another man, another place…..

Pop went to him, put his arm around him, waved me over. “Son, don’t mean to interfere but….maybe rightly these should be hangin’ on you?”

Bryce just raised his head, couldn’t say it.

Pop quietly unclasped them from me and put them on Bryce. “Now theys home….”

“Told Eben I’d have ‘em soldered so they’d be permanent….”

He was quiet, held them in his fingers. “Thanks Bull….Eben didn’t know an…..”

“He don’t need to know.” Pop looked very determined. “Tell you something else, get you some steel chain and get ‘em welded closed….”

Bryce just looked at him, that was what he wanted just didn’t know it til he heard it, nodded his head. “Thank You, Sir, thank you.”

He got out the bottle saying we all needed to relax...and, by the way, like it or not, Bryce was gonna bunk in with him…..theys some things they needed to talk about, private.

Couldn’t a been all that private. I heard Pop say as they headed down the hall to his bedroom, “Hey, you ever seen how my kid got his name?” Then looked back at me and winked.

Figured I better get some fast shut eye...might just be a Golden Retriever in my future….